#because I'll actually get paid!
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My manager said there's going to be a team meeting tomorrow! I hope I'm going to get a promotion!!⭐
#pennie for your thoughts☀️#i would make a great manager because im studying business management anyway!#it would be like an internship but better!!#because I'll actually get paid!
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cold fruit in a hot kitchen (so i had this great watermelon last weekend)
#so I had this great watermelon last weekend. and the thing is it probably wasn't even that great of a watermelon#but I was four hours into an eight hour shift and we had thrown out all the watermelon salad because no one was eating it#and then our manager ran in and yelled that the client really fucking wanted watermelon salad.#so like six of us servers started frantically chopping watermelon. and the kitchen got really hot#in the way it does when everyone inside it is really stressed because there's no fucking watermelon salad#and after we chopped all the watermelon and the client got their fucking watermelon we all had a moment#where we looked at the remaining watermelon and we were so hot and cocktail hour was almost over anyway and the salads were all plated#and we all went for the watermelon and we ate it with the kind of rabid intensity you only get while eating cold watermelon in a hot kitche#and it was the best watermelon I have ever tasted and several days later i am still chasing the high of that fucking watermelon#and the thing is i know it isn't even the watermelon i'm actually missing#it's the feeling of cool liquid on hot skin and the feeling of a crisis averted and the feeling of camaraderie#that comes with devouring a watermelon in a hot kitchen with six other people who you have nothing in common with except that watermelon.#i don't dream of labor but i am dreaming now of being 4 hours into an eight hour shift eating watermelon in a hot kitchen.#i dream of laughing around the cold fruit in my mouth. I crave that watermelon like i'll die without it.#< honest to god this is real and that watermelon left such an impact on me that i had to draw it and write this. having a normal one#maybe this is insane but working in a team of people you truly like to do something you actually enjoy is so underrated#if only they fucking paid me i could work as a server for the rest of my life. unironically#skribbles
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i have a job interview tomorrow. i'm stressed
#i'm overqualified for that job but i have zero experience of what the job would actually be#let's see how it goes!! i really wish i'll get it because i'm planning to write my thesis during the summer instead of working#and rent needs to get paid somehow <3#and the job would be for april + may. so perfect
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Okay I'm too used to creation kit, I thought about how I liked my desk mat and wanted another one and just tried to right click copy paste it
#I mean I'll buy another one after I get paid this week bc the other one I have is kinda breaking down but lmao#vena vents#not art#PU desk mats are a gamble because some are great and last for a decade or more and others get dirty ONCE#then they start disintigrating#I've seen some plant leather ones out there too but are obviously really expensive about as much as actual leather
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Hi, just wanted to ask a honest question because I've seen you post about it a few times and I genuinely don't understand where you're coming from when you say this. How is remake Leon a misogynist?
Most recently I saw you point out him calling Ada heartless, but I don't see how that's him being sexist. He says that in response to her telling him information on where to find Ashley, having previously told him to leave her behind (to presumably die or worse), and I don't think its misogynistic for him to make a jab at her for that. Especially because Leon's big motivation is saving people, of course he wouldn't be a huge fan of anyone telling him to intentionally leave someone to die if he's able to save them. (This is also not to say Ada's a bad person for suggesting that, I love Ada and her character but I also understand why Leon would be upset by such a thing)
If there's anything else in the remakes that I've missed you point out I'm curious to what else makes him misogynistic because I just don't see it.
Also like a sidenote I guess almost all of Leon's misogynistic lines are from original re4 but Luis also has lines like this, so I don't understand why he gets to be distinguished between versions and Leon doesn't when you talk about their characters.
"honest question" and yet, you seem to have already formulated an idea of my answer (and an opinion of me) based off of one post where I casually mentioned it, and you decided to look no further before getting defensive about it. Are you even asking? Do you even care to learn? Or will you just ignore everything I say? And asking anonymously is very funny to me. Literally who are you.
I talked about it here, kinda joked about it here, and I very thoroughly detailed it here, as well as reiterated in the comments. I'm so tired of repeating myself. It's 1am now bc I took the time to find these posts for you lol. Maybe read them before you try attacking a straw man.
But to the Luis point? I absolutely do separate og RE4 Leon and remake Leon… Like literally my entire POINT is that no, remake Leon is still sexist, just differently, and here is why… I really don't understand how you came to this conclusion lmao.
The main idea is, Capcom thinks they've written out Leon's misogyny; but because Capcom itself is a very bigoted company, they perpetrate misogyny in everything they make and they don't even realise it! They genuinely think the way they wrote remake Leon absolves him from the misogyny when it doesn't, it just re-contextualises it in a way that Capcom deems palatable. They still see Ada as an extension of Leon! They still see Ada's worth revolving solely around how Leon feels in response to her actions. It's ridiculous. And the way Leon is written to treat her, the lines he's given towards her, reflect this attitude, and becomes misogynistic when he treats a male character who has done worse than Ada right in front of Leon with respect and empathy.
#begging people to stop and think and actually analyse things before getting defensive. Why do I have to keep doing the work it's exhausting#Like I'll keep doing it but damn.#Why does someone suggesting that your fave has misogynistic context make you upset?#Why are you defensive over that rather than over how he treats women?#I notice these things because I pay attention to the female characters and I value them equally as characters#Maybe if you valued Ada more and paid attention to her as a character and how Leon treats her versus how he treats Krauser#you'd see Leon's unwarranted cruelty towards her is misogynistic because of these differences in his behaviour#Maybe also stop seeing Leon as someone who can do no wrong and have no flaws when you expect the same of Ada fans.#etc etc#not tagging anything but I hope to God people stop asking me to explain. PAY ATTENTION.
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super fair @ sports. Baseball’s legit though huh
fun fact: despite having taught baseball history multiple times and developing strong feelings about the history of the sport, I have still never uh. been to a baseball game.
(if asked I support the Seattle Mariners and the Atlanta Braves, but I don't actually follow baseball. like many people I also have a soft spot for the historical Brooklyn Dodgers, but that's not even for the expected fandom Steve Rogers reasons; one of the books we read for the baseball class was Jane Leavy's biography of Sandy Koufax, which stuck on me more than The Boys of Summer (which we also read and which is also about the Dodgers) did.) (I am aware that this book and Koufax's career covers the move from Brooklyn to LA.)
#for those that don't know I co-taught it for two summers in a row but didn't develop the class#the things grad students do to get paid! though I was actually instructor of record#and I'm pretty sure that contributed to getting my current job#everyone expects an ancient historian or a classicist to have taught latin 101 (which I've done)#no one expects an ancient historian to have taught baseball and american culture#so that looks REALLY attractive to a small history department that needs their professors to be flexible#I'll probably end up teaching it again! though if I do I'll develop the class myself this time#since my approach would differ somewhat from my co-teacher's (who developed the original class)#also because I'd be teaching it in a history department rather than an english department (yes it was actually an english class!)#and teaching it as a full semester class rather than a six week summer class#bare minimum we do NOT do integration and the aagpbl in the same week#typeoneninja#bedlam replies#my world civ class got some baseball history in our 21st century module#I hope they enjoyed it. I have no idea if they did because it's fully asynchronous online
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ohhhhhhh i get it now. working 40 hours 5 days a week actually destroys you from the inside out, huh?
#shapes.txt#i wanted to maybe do things today but i can't even do anything besides chilling and eating and watching youtube right now#i've only ever worked part time retail before#and now i'm working in a call center full time#like i'm getting trained now which is good#and now i'm getting paid above minimum wage#but like#my god#i have no free time now#the free time that i technically have is spent recovering from work or thinking about work#and it's going to continue like this#i'm not going to last#i don't think that i can physically handle working full time#ok ok ok ok ok plan: i suffer through hell and get lotsa money#but not for too long#and then once i'm no longer working here#i'll slowly try and find a nice trade job or apprenticeship#idk though!!!!!#i've enjoyed it so far it's just now on the weekend that i'm like ''ugh''#i think it's because we (the new starters) got an actual taste for it on friday with all the accreditation stuff
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From my interactions with a private clinic so far, I think I've figured out the REAL reason that NHS doctors almost universally do not give a fuck about their patients and will jump at any chance to be negligent.
The ones who give a fuck left, and I don't think I can find it in me to blame them. How could anyone who cares about their patients, who became a doctor or a nurse to actually help people, mentally withstand being forced to disregard their wellbeing at the command of some higher up who has never even stepped foot inside an NHS hospital before? Imagine you become a doctor, thinking you're going to save lives and alleviate suffering... only to be instructed to keep the treatments that could do so from your patients because they cost too much. Every single day.
Of course I really respect the few who chose to stay in public healthcare, but it doesn't surprise me one bit that the ones who stay are the ones who are only in it for power or status or money.
#I actually got my top surgery done at a private hospital too because there aren't any NHS doctors who will do them#but the NHS paid for it#And holy shit the difference was enormous then too. The surgeon was great. The nurses were actually friendly and reassuring.#Imagine if all healthcare was like that#I hope I don't have to pay out of pocket for my colonoscopy#but ngl I'll still wish I could get it done in a lovely comfortable private clinic with people who care about me#instead of seeing me as just a number to cross off the list
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If you're asking why I came back only to rb a billion PGR memes.
I'm plotting. Shhhh.
#lien speaks#I'll allow myself to talk about the project for a teensy tiny bit buuuut#I'm fandubbing PGR ✨#We've been at it for a week now wHOAAAAAA (casting call ended november 4th wHOAAAAAAAA)#But I've been working on this thing since July which is hilarious given I started this darn game back in June (chasing white hair male sigh#The project is going really well and I'm sO excited because all my cast members are AMAZING and I'm so glad I picked who I did for the proj#*project#It does feel really nice to actually be doing something that I want to do#like albeit I'm also balancing between this and my dayjob which my dayjob is extremely unstable and doesn't pay well at all (it lied :I)#So financial wise I'm Shit and stressed. but I haven't been this happy in sO long and it feels SOOOOOO NICE!!!#BEAT THAT SAD!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA#I know there isn't a lot of folks who care much for this over here which it's fine it's my blog I yap about whatever in life#but like. genuinely doing this and doing more of this hobby makes me unbelievably happy and I really hope I can keep going at it in the#future#the only thing is just balancing between two jobs basically to get paid properly and OURGHHHHHH#I hate existing.#I would talk more about it because it does make me very happy and excited but m( . 3 .)m then I'd /only/ be talking about that here haha#It matters to me and only me and it's nice to just log that joy somehow someway haha
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When proofreading the journal (on friday night) i commented on one slightly sexist and outdated term to be replaced by a neutral and more inclusive term. I've been having nightmares because of this
#like I'm sure no one is even gonna read my comments at all#i usually tend to get ignored#but in my mind my colleague/superior/ the journalist who wrote that article is now considering me his arch enemy#and i will be branded as the difficult female newbie who's incompetent but has the audacity to comment on his word choice#because this is journalism and the texts need to be a bit provocative but actually this term is obviously in no way negatively connotated#and he gets to choose the words for the texts he writes and i should shut my stupid mouth#and leave him alone#and obviously everyone is going to agree with him because who the fuck cares about gender equality or inclusive language#i simply have no idea how this business works and all the urologists will hate us if the texts are more carefully formulated#this has been on my mind since friday night so much that i was so close to go online again and delete the comment#but i keep thinking i shouldn't let my fear of being branded as difficult and petty prevent me from giving my opinion on this?#because it Is bothering me quite a bit and i simply made a suggestion. if he decides to call me out for it i can explain#my reasoning and tell him to ignore it of he doesn't like it. it's not my journal after all so i merely make suggestions#ugh i hate work#i also considered working another 2 hours today so tomorrow will go more smoothly but i don't wanna work on the weekend#i should set boundaries where i can or else I'll end up burned out again just like it was with university#i need to stop giving a fuck about work anyway#i don't get paid enough to care lol#void screams
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I'm so upset. I woke up with my sinuses all scratchy and have been trying to ignore it again thinking surely I can't have another fucking virus only a month after that evil one but my sister just called me from work and said she's been feeling the same way
I'm so fucking sick of this. It's the fifth time I've gotten ill this year. Never in my life have I gotten ill so consistently, especially not with the illnesses being so intense, even when I had a terrible lifestyle and didn't look after myself. I genuinely think c*vid fucked me up last summer and my immune system hasn't been the same since 😣
#and i just started work this week#i'm gonna work through whatever sickness this is because there's no way i'm missing out on getting paid but i'm so pissed off about it#so lucky to wfh#also that cold we had in asia? looking back at the symptoms and timeline we think it was actually c*vid#i wish masks were still a fucking thing here#if i have it now AGAIN i'm just gonna bawl my eyes out but i have no way of testing either way#we think we got sick from my sister's graduation last saturday#praying this is an overreaction and i'll be sick for like 2 days then move on#nttalks
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yall i'm crazyyyyy just got home like almost an hour late and i'm going back to work to cover someone else's shift LOL i'm making that money that purse alexa play work by ateez
#it's only a three hour shift#and it's not serving again#i would not take another serving shift#but i made pretty decent tips today luckily#and i won't make tips but i'll get paid a normalish hourly wage LOL#silly because i've never actually hosted#but i do know exactly how to do it#anyways#so i will get less writing done today but#i will keep writing when i get back from work the second time LOL#. >> mari says shit !
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So I think I'm finally getting a contract and I'm going to start my new studies (as a youth/school counselor) in my old school. I met the principal today and had a talk with him, and he said he was pleased to see me there and would like to have me there because I already know my way around and seemed to manage things just fine when I was still their student. So, that's great, I'm finally getting somewhere.
But I'll have to wait until Friday because he's still not quite sure who's going to be my supervisor, so he's going to have a talk with a couple of staff members about it at first.
And then my teacher in my new school is already pressing me with contract matters and stuff, wanting me to start earlier than I had originally planned or at least get the contract done by then, so uhh. I'm going to have a Teams meeting with her on Friday at 8 o'clock in the morning (I'm not a morning person at all), and I'm sure we're going to have such a lovely discussion about my schedule and study plans and all that stuff.
All this phone-calling and paperwork is giving me a headache. And I still have some school assignments to do and to return before next week, and guess what - ya girl just wants to read and write fanfiction all day and all night. 🤪 Priorities, I has them.
#personal#no seriously i went to bed around 4am because i was writing a fic. and then i got up at 8:30 after snoozing the clock for an hour#because i had the appointment with the principal around 10am so#but anyway despite my poor sleeping schedule i am actually happy about this opportunity#i should be able to work in the evenings if they can just find me a supervisor. which would be super because then i'm not going to have to#wake up early. unless i get a side job because i need money and this is only training so i don't get paid for it. but remains to be seen#i am not feeling awfully energized for school/work combination right now so uhh#but then i'd also get to work as a special needs assistant because this school has a lot of special needs students#so that sounds pretty good actually. it was something i was also thinking about doing before#because i was kind of a special needs student myself when i was younger and i didn't get the help i needed so#helping others with that could be great. a great opportunity indeed#and i may have to help with this other type of class as well#i think they're calling it preparatory education for vocational training in english. i'm not 100% sure what it even means#but well if i get a chance then perhaps i'll find outl#so all in it sounds like they have need for me and i get to do a lot of different stuff so. it should be good#it's. just this. studying itself. and like i said. all this paperwork and making phone calls and stuff. it's stressing me out#so uh#let's just hope that friday makes me a little bit wiser
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had an interview for a job that seems good and she said if they want me they'll send me an offer by noon today. i'm still holding out for the bookmobile job at the library though that interview is on tuesday next week and if they offer me the job i'm saying yes no two ways about it
#even if the wage is low i'll say yes...it's closer than the one from before and full time#that alone is worth it plus lowkey do not think i will be moving out of jake's house anytime soon#i should obviously be saving up to hold onto that option if i NEED it but#i actually need to ask jake here soon if he wants me to pay a portion of his rent and utilities. hopefully after i start getting paid but#not before because um sweats. i cant afford to pay anything unless i have a le job#t
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Tonight I am frustrated by the fact that I still have a lot of bias to unlearn when it comes to dealing with students with special needs
(As in, it would be nice if I could be effortlessly good at it, but alas)
#Matt has a life#Shit from work#Part of the problem (on top of like... the usual isms) is also that a) I actually *like* the traditional quiet classroom environment#just because quiet and focus is how I learn things best#also: I have limited time to prepare things like dyslexia friendly resources#I mean fortunately there's some stuff that was premade which I'll be able to modify to get started this year#unfortunately my student who probably needs it the most is not in a class where anything is ready so#more work more time needed and my availability is not moving -_-#(will still try i just don't think it'll be the greatest possible thing)#also wrt kids who probably have adhd but no other support: I have a really hard time figuring out what helps them concentrate#apart from what's actually a distraction#case in point: one time one of my students spent the full hour fiddling with paper#with no improvement that I could see in how much attention they paid to the class#and they said 'this was great I was quiet aren't you happy?'#and I was like 'well I won't lie it's convenient for me but also the goam is to help you focus#not to make things convenient'#anyway I think my main tldr is that whime there are things that exist to help these students#and I'm willing to try them#So far my attempts have felt more like randomly chucking stuff at them#(even if I ask them to tell me if they have techniques that help them already)#than anything really helpful#and I haven't figured out yet how to move past that in order to properly make things more accessible for them#(plus like. the one student who is apparently VERY dyslexic#when I asled if there might be underlying cause to their struggles in my class#strongly denied it. which adds to the difficulties)#anyway I feel like this went a little 'woe is me for dealing with this' so like#sorry about that
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I would love to get paid 7 dollars per hour for my art actually <- lives in a country where the minimum wage is less than $5 per hour, also tried to sell commissions for $1 at one point and they still didn't sell because apparently their art sucks that badly
#my art /doesn't/ suck that badly btw#I got out of that mindset mostly but it still fucks me up to this day#also I guess this is a vague post in a way its not about anyone on here though#sorry sorry sorry I'll do better next time#I get that some of ya'll live in the hellzone that is America and $7 is laughable for you guys#I'm really sorry for you#I can get a full meal at my local Thai/Vietnamese bar for less than that hell I could get a nice drink too#it's probably the price of a coffee for you#but for real I personally get annoyed when I see stuff like that#because of that goddamn commission fiasco#and how I to this day can't really post my art online due to the shame I experienced back then#and the fact that my best friend still doesn't get commissions when they literally start at four fucking dollars#while some Americans talk about how 'you deserve to get paid more than that uwu'#how about ya'll actually boost artists who need help then lol#guess I'm just annoyed lol#sorry for venting I deserve to be a little hater every now and then#again it's not about anyone on here you guys are great
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