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aiysan2 · 4 months ago

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Chapter 8 'Going Under' Dabi x Reader

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"I don't understand why you have to act out like this son?" Enji grumbled, still stuck in his work attire after getting his son out of being arrested again. "You could've put Hawks out of commission."

Touya had, as always, seen Hawks while out and about, and instead of saying hello, he started attacking him. Touya was already labelled a villain by the public and his constant outbursts alongside Enji having to constantly bail him out of trouble was making his image go into further shit. He was sure by next year, he'd go from number 1 to 100.

"I should've put him out, then he wouldn't act like we're buddies all the time," Touya grimaced, leaning against the car window, in deep thought.

"You're an adult now, you shouldn't have me constantly checking up on you, you should try to get a job or put your time into something important-"

"What like Shoto?"

"You know that's not what I meant, you're too old to be this childish, to still have these outbursts, what happened was long ago and I've changed, doing this isn't going to get my attention, I'm refusing to help you again after this."

"I don't need shit from you!" Touya exclaimed, stepping out of the car as it pulled in front of their house. He had already spoken to the man more than needed, feeling awkward that he even acted like he was a good father just because he 'changed'.

That was definitely bullshit that he was spewing to make sure Touya doesn't tell the public everything Endeavour did to them growing up, he knows his stupid sister would vouch for him. Who would believe Endevour's villain son over the citizen daughter?

His anger quickly boiled down as he remembered he could vent to his younger brother. He always agreed when it came to their father. There shit talking sessions raging from Enji's farts smelling bad to the neglect he put the two through, it was never a bore when Natsuo was around and he's probably the reason Touya hasn't tried to kill himself.

He knocked on the door of his brother's room heavily, waiting for an answer while he heard shuffling inside. Natsuo opened the door and jumped out of his skin.

" Sorry I'm still getting used to how fucked your face looks," He smirks as he opens the door wider to allow him in, " you've been gone for a bit,"

"3 days isn't long. " Touya looked around the room, trying to figure out why his brother's room looked so bare, and why there were suitcases on the floor.

Gosh, I thought he was joking.

"So you two have found a place to stay?" He asked, referring to Natsuo's girlfriend. It had been briefly mentioned that he was looking for an apartment to live in with the rat-quirked girl before proposing to her. Touya was sure he'd get an invite but he definitely wouldn't attend.

"Yeh, yeh you don't expect me to stay here forever right?" He asked, laying on his bed, "I hate being in the same house as that guy, just pisses me off." He paused, Natsuo hated speaking about his father, it always caused random outbursts where he would find himself acting like a copy of his dad. He'd rather be the funny, calm and collected him, his girlfriend has grown to love.

"So what were you up to, I heard Hawks was watching you to make sure you don't die in the streets,"

"Yeh that's why I set him on fire, he got way too close this time,"

"I thought you liked having a babysitter?"

"He's too goddamn friendly, it pisses me off,"

Natsuo laughed, already beginning to miss his brother and reminiscing the years they could've spent together while he was in a coma.

"What about you?" Natsuo asked, knowing how hard it was for Touya to let go.

"What about me?"

"When are you gonna move on?" He was tired of seeing his older brother stuck in the same house for the rest of his life, constantly waiting for his father to pay attention to him and for his mother to stop being docile.

"When the bastard dies?"

"We'll get him in his sleep, pull the duvet over his head when he farts."

" His farts are deadly." They both laughed, eyes flicking around the room remembering all the conversations they had shared.

Silence again from both parties. Touyta slightly overthinking the whole moving-out situation. out of everyone in the house, Natsuo was his rock, always there to support him and now he was packing up and leaving for what, a girl?

" So the rat girl's stolen you?" He asked, it had a lot less venom than he wanted coming out in a sarcastic tone rather than angry.

" I stole her, trust me you'll get it when you get into a relationship,"

Touya scrunched up his nose, remembering the absolute shit he saw between his parents, and if he was honest, how horrible he thought everyone that wasn't him was. "It's not for me," He shook his head.

"You'll never know, if not you should think of moving out and moving on. I wasn't going to say but all this attention-seeking that you do with Endeavour is getting old fast and then you can also focus on other stuff, not just attacking heroes to piss him off with minor inconveniences. I just want the best for you and-"

" What?" He stands abruptly glaring at his rambling brother, " Natsuo the doctor with his perfect girlfriend, perfect college life and perfect house, thinks he can tell people what's best for them,"

"You're not seriously getting offended by what I've said?!"

Touya rolls his eyes and walks out of his room, he never really cared whether it was anyone else who said that since he was called a bum a lot, or a parasite that keeps sucking on the money of his family, but for Natsuo to say it, he almost punched the guy.

He was seething, at the point of attacking everyone and anyone just to get over the rage brewing inside of him.

Thank God for Shoto

It was always easy to find the hero in training since he was always, well, training. He would coop himself away in Endevour's gym trying to learn new combos on moves or build more muscle on his body.

As if a masterpiece like him needed more than a good quirk.

Dabi wasted no time in blasting his fire through the shoji doors of the room, hoping he scorched his brother.

"Touya," Shoto grumbled, annoyed that he had been interrupted by his forever-bored brother.

Touya peeked his head through the door a lazy smirk on his face like he was innocent of whatever crime Shoto was accusing him of. "What?"

Shoto rolled his eyes and decided to take a break, sitting on the floor to sip his drink.

"So this is what the next number 1 does? Makes everyone believe they're training when really he's lazing around." He taunted, walking into the room and kneeling in front of his brother.

"So you heard Natsuo is moving out?" Shoto asked, that same stoic look on his face. He knew Touya would react horribly to his brother moving out, he was always on the edge of a mental breakdown and Shoto feared that this could be the thing that finally pushed him.

"What's that got to do with what I'm telling you?" Touya hated the deadpan look Shoto always held on his face, he was jealous at how well the boy could hold himself together, unlike him who'd break down so quickly.

"You're being a dick."

"I'm always a dick,"

Touya felt a constant sickness and restlessness whenever he was around Shoto. The boy was stupidly kindhearted, he never understood how the boy forgave his mother, and he didn't understand how someone blessed with the perfect quirk, body and training couldn't beat him in terms of firepower.

"I'll help you train, that's what older siblings are for."

Shoto wasn't stupid, he had taken up on Touya's offer to spar many times and it usually ended with Shoto having to beg his deranged brother to calm down before he cremated him.

"I'll pass,"

"What you scared you're going to lose again?"

" Yeh," He shrugged, " leave now before I call our dad,"

Touya squinted, the mention of his father was almost provocative like Shoto wanted Touya to attack him. He allowed a blue flame to engulf his hand, pushing his palms forward and blowing flames in Shoto's direction again.

"You should block, or should I call Endeavour to come and block for you?" He taunted. He continued attacking Shoto, the emotional state he was in overruling any logic, as he tried to fight his brother again.

A tiny voice played in his head, one that wasn't loud enough for Touya to acknowledge fully, one that told him all his problems would be solved if Shoto just didn't exist. Shoto and Endeavour. If Shoto didn't exist, Endeavour would've trained him to become the strongest he could be. He would be the one getting all the praise in the family. He wouldn't have to rely on Natsuo to keep him company since he would be busy becoming the strongest. If Shoto wasn't here then everything good would come his way.

"Touya!" Endevour's voice boomed through the room, walking in on his oldest about to cremate his youngest, a tight grip on his neck while his other hand became even hotter.

"What?" He rolled his eyes, standing up from the floor, while Shoto gasped.

Endeavour couldn't deal with this stress anymore he couldn't handle everything that Touya brought onto him. He blamed himself before, but as Touya got older he had to take responsibility for his actions. He wouldn't admit it but the deranged tendencies Touya presented scared him, it chilled him to the bone and even though the guy was emotional, it was a coin that held a crybaby and the other that held a psychopath and Endeavour had enough of both.

" You need to leave."

"Yeh I'm going to bed now."

"No, I want you out of the house."

Touya stood confused his face a poker as he tried to figure out what his dad was telling him.

" What you're tossing me aside again, for Shoto?"

Enji's heart twisted, a sudden guilt filling his chest telling him to take it back. Now that he thought about it therapy would be a better option. "That's not what I meant I-"

"No it's fine, it riles you up seeing your failure beat your masterpiece." Touya swallowed deeply, not allowing himself to cry, he wouldn't cry in front of Endeavour, that would just prove he is the weaker sibling. "It's whatever I'll be in my room."

That night he ran. The family wouldn't have worked themselves up that much if it wasn't for the fact that the heroes didn't know of his whereabouts a week later. Hawks who was always available to keep an eye on Touya, for Endevour, couldn't find the guy in any of his usual spots and it panicked Endevour like crazy.

He hoped his son hadn't hurt himself again, he wouldn't be able to deal with that sort of stress again.

It was like he'd dropped off the earth, and disappeared without a trace.

Luckily halfway through the second week, Hawks managed to track Touya to a commune, refusing to tell Endeavour how he found the place. With the help of hero course students, they kept an eye on the place.

The heroes were shocked at the size of the place when creating a map of the community. How could something like this avoid being added to the maps of Japan? It wasn't like it was hidden well, the overgrown trees would catch the attention of hikers and the government so how did it skim the eyes of the public?

Hawks had managed to get some information on the place though. 7 teenagers about 70 years ago had banded together. Their parents tired of their villainous antics begged them to make it stop. To make all the assaults, groping and entitlement they held because of the wealth their families held stop.

They asked for one thing enough money to buy a plot of land and build a community like those hippies on TV. The ones who wanted no part in the stupid hero vs villain society, who wanted to live like long before it happened. They would pay families to live there as long as they followed their rules and got to sleep with their spouses. A lot of people accepted already living in poverty and needed constant stability.

Now 70 years later after murdering and branding those who would defy their rulership, they had the perfect little community and had also become villains in the mind of Keigo.

He took in hero course student Koji Koda for this mission, Hawks flying above the perimeter would alert, the residents while a bird wouldn't cause any suspicion.

He got the students Yaoyorozu, Shinso, Uraraka, Todoroki, Bakugo and Midoriya in addition to Koda to assist with the mission.

With this help, they saw the many laws being broken by the residents, the underage smoking and use of drugs and illegal cultish activity.

However, Koda had befriended a frog Amaliqah it was called. It informed Koda that it had seen a man that had been covered in scars that he had befriended his owner and every morning they would meet by the lake to talk.

The frog had described Touya as everything he was not: level-headed, kind though rude most of the time, he showed patience with his owner and was gentle with her. It differed from the Touya known for attacking first and then thinking later, who ran on his emotions and always had violence in his heart.

"Do you think that girl is his girlfriend?" Shoto whispered to Midoriya one afternoon when Koda mentioned your name again when asking about Touya.

"I thought he was asexual." Midoriya would answer.

"He seems to be.... calmer now, are we sure we should bother him, he seems happy there?" Shoto had felt guilty for the way his brother turned out, despite not seeing these experiences first-hand, it sounded as if Touya had become content, like he had found a reason to live other than trying to compete with him.

"I understand-"

" Your brother is a villain and from what I've been hearing everyone there are villains too, stop all that sappy bullshit!" Bakugou exclaimed. He was always pissed that Touya got special treatment, he had to make sure Touya got sent to prison this time.

"You're right," Shoto agreed, realising it was time for his brother to pay for all those people he hurt, even if he did see him as more than a villain.

"In two days, we will be making the arrests we should sleep early, he wants to do it in the cover of the night."

"Yeah whatever, have you spoken to Ponytail and Mind freak?

"!I thought Hawks was going to talk to them!"

"Yeah, but I wanted to get the train together....."

Shotto paid no mind to his friend's conversation, he was sure there would be a big fight tomorrow, if not with the residents then with his big brother.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was the morning of the fight. The heroes had scattered themselves around the vast trees, getting ready to break them down on Endevou'rs command. Shoto using his fire, Bakugo using his explosions, Momo using cannons and so on.

Hawks had taken the lead already flying into the community to the lake that this frog said he would always be at.

It was easy to spot the man with an unknown quirk and strange clothes flying into the sect. The fighters were on high alert after the punishment was put on Dabi, making sure he didn't call anyone to come and attack them or do them unjustly.

Yet it seemed like he had done just that.

The festival hadn't even had a chance to come to a close, yet here the heroes were gearing up to attack, without warning, Leilani used one of her plants to swat at the man. The trees 'waking up' as their roots left the ground branches moving like arms to swat and hit the man.

When the first tree caught fire, growing quickly along the bark scorching it and toppling it over, crashing into the lake, one of the residents let out a scream.

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Series Masterlist

#mha #bnha #dabi smut #mha smut #dabi angst #touya todoroki #touya x reader #dabi fluff #dabi x reader #love at first sight #cult #soulmates

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yourmidnightlover · 4 years ago

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rock

Summary - spencer wants to figure out what's wrong with you, only to be reminded what day it is and he remembers why you've been so distant.

TW: talk abt: rape, recovery, therapy, case stuff; mention of: drug addiction, rape, miscarriage, being shot, death lol

WC - 4,283

!DISCLAIMER! - i am in no way trying to romanticize recovery from a traumatic event or being upset/depressed/anxious. this is kinda my way of getting through my own issues, so please don't think that's what i'm trying to do in any way. i also don’t know how i feel abt this ending since i wrote it so long ago but oh well!

i just realized there are a few spoilers so i'll put *asterisks* around them. those parts are just explaining how the reader's always there for the team.

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you had always been the rock in spencer's life.

mentally, at least.

when he had nobody there for him when he was going through his addiction with dilaudid, there you were. you helped him through it when everybody else on the team acted as if they never noticed.

you were the one that encouraged him to get help, and pushed him to follow through. you made sure he ate and talked to someone when he had his urges again, even if it wasn't you.

you let him come over and cry about what had happened, and how unfair his life was. you consoled him and would tell him how nothing was his fault. how he didn't deserve anything bad in his life.

*and when emily 'died', he went to your house every day. you held him as he felt himself falling apart from losing her. you didn't even worry about yourself needing to be consoled, because spencer needed you to be there for him.

*when she came back you were the one to convince him to forgive her. you talked sense into him. you reminded him how much he pleaded to have her back, and then he did. so he managed to forgive her... because of you and your logic.

*and you weren't just there for spencer. while, yes, you made a special effort to be there for him, you were there for everyone on the team.

*when derek was arrested back in chicago and the team found out about his past, you were the one he leaned on for comfort. you and penelope. you let him cry on your shoulder and yell at you about how twisted a man would have to be to do something so cruel to a child.

*when jj was kidnapped and beaten to a miscarriage, you were the first she told. you didn't say anything. you knew there was nothing you could say that would relinquish the pain of losing a child. so you let her cry. you let her hug you for what felt like hours. you let her grief her unborn baby for as long as she needed.

*when penelope was shot, nobody cared to check up on her after the fact except you. you went to her apartment for weeks just to make sure she was okay. eventually, she was able to let loose all of her frustrations on you, and you took it like a champ. she ranted about how she just wanted to be loved by someone attractive and how unfair and cruel the world is, in spite of how much good she tries to bring into it.

*when hotch lost hailey, you took care of his files. you offered to watch henry and let hotch cry to you about losing her a few times once you broke past his tough exterior. you even cried with him and jack. you made them dinner whenever you could, and helped him look for good nannies to help care for jack.

*when rossi lost carolyn, you went to her grave with him on many occasions. you brought him his favorite scotch, which was very pricey, and his favorite cigars, also very pricey, and tried your best to recreate 'the rossi special' upon his directions. it helped him feel in control of something when he needed it.

*and when emily came back from the dead, you helped walk her through her own grief. she lost herself, and buried her emotions. you helped her dig up her old self, and grow into an even better woman. you even took care of her cat when penelope couldn't manage. you helped emily grieve her own death when she wanted to deny it ever happened, and she was forever grateful for you.*

you had become like the team's built-in therapist when something bad happened, and you loved it that way. you loved being the one the team went to when they needed it. it made you feel as though you had a purpose, which was something you desperately needed.

but when you went through your own trauma almost a year ago, you refused help from anyone. you knew you should've asked someone for help, or at least someone to cry or talk to when you needed to.

the team had been working on a case for longer than expected, 8 days now, and everyone was really frustrated. you had released the profile 7 days ago, and there was still no new information. it was as if the unsub had gone dormant, and you all couldn't bear that thought.

when the team released earlier than normal from the precinct and you all went to the hotel you had been staying at, you decided to get a drink from the bar quickly. you went alone, wanting to review a few of the case files during the process and not needing a distraction.

you ordered a jack and coke, and opened the case files to begin rereading them, seeing if you had missed anything.

victims were kept for 24 hours, filmed, raped, restrained, cut in pieces, and thrown in the trash like garbage. it was absolutely disgusting, and the worst you had seen in a while. the victims were low-risk and most of them had a place of authority.

the unsub had been profiled to be someone who was bossed around by a woman, narcissistic and egotistical, wanted to feel more power and authority.

the problem is, that profile was most people living in the area. even penelope couldn't dwindle down the suspects.

and alas, you had missed nothing. nothing new appeared or caught your eye. you gulped down the rest of your drink and paid for it before packing up your things to head upstairs. you tossed the file back into your bag and began the trek to the elevator.

you were interrupted by something hitting the top of your head, rendering you unconscious.

the team had woken up, and after waiting around for half an hour, spencer realized something was wrong. he had morgan bust into your room, only to find the bed unslept in. you were missing. and the worst part... you fit the unsubs type.

spencer felt his heart drop at the realization he had taken you. and it seemed as though there was no trail as to where you had gone. penelope checked the cameras, only to find that they were hacked right after you left the bar, and then they resumed after you were taken.

at least they had a time frame.

later that day, after everyone hasting to figure something, anything out, spencer had gotten an email. he opened it and expected it to be relentless spam, only to realize it was a live feed video. a video of you. he instantly called penelope in hopes that she could trace it.

she said she could, but it would take some time because the amount of routers it had been going through.

while they were waiting, you noticed you were alone. you knew who the unsub was too, thanks to his baffling stupidity and narcissism that lead him to believe he wouldn't get caught.

"officer johnson! it's officer johnson!" you looked around the camera for a second, noticing something moving. "he-he here," you cried out. "i love you," you said to the camera to nobody in particular, but someone in mind.

you were terrified. spencer could see it in your eyes. he could see the tears you tried not to shed. you didn't want to please him, but you couldn't help but feel the absolute horror and fear coursing through your body at a relentless pace.

"hi there, missus fbi," he teased, finally walking into the frame with a ski mask over his face, clearly not aware that we knew his identity.

spencer told garcia who he was, and she began her digging. officer johnson's great grandparents had owned a farm that was since then refurbished. it was an hour away.

officer johnson had known that you two had chemistry. that's why he sent the email to spencer. he saw the longing glares, the 'innocent' touches, the smiles you would give each other, the longing looks you shared. he wanted to torment him.

so when he began undressing you and you turned your face away from the camera in hopes of sparing some of your own dignity, spencer felt his heart breaking for you. it broke even more when he heard the yelps, and screams, and please, and "no!'s" you elicited during the act.

they caught him before he cut you, but not before he finished the first part of his plan. your skirt was ripped, and your shirt was practically in two pieces. spencer had given you his jacket to cover yourself as much as you could.

you stayed silent the ride back. you didn't even let spencer hold you like you normally would after a tough case. you were ashamed. embarrassed. you felt worthless. you felt pathetic. you felt stupid. you felt helpless. you felt like you were drowning. you felt like you were without a life raft.

you knew you could talk to the team about it, but you felt so disgusted by the thought of what happened to you that you only talked about it in your therapy sessions.

hotch had given you two months off. he wanted you to grieve, and go to therapy, and try to cope with everything that had happened.

and you did try to do that. you tried your hardest to get over it and move past it, but nothing helped. not the journaling. not the talking. not the crying. nothing was working.

spencer gave you a little space at first, but he then decided to try to help you as you had helped him. he went over to your house almost every day, and sat outside your door after you wouldn't let him in.

you knew he was there... you sat on the other side.

"i-i know that you probably don't want to see anyone right now. and i'm uh, i'm sure you feel alone right now, or like you can't talk to anyone," spencer sniffled. "but pl-please just uhm, just know that i'm here when you want to talk about it. i'm here to listen to you when you need me to. i-i don't want you to be alone during this time, y/n. please, just let me in," he begged.

that was normally what he would say almost every night he went to your house. he would sit outside for hours after he would ask you to let him in without fail. until one day you let him in.

spencer felt so much relief when you opened the door, only for it to be smashed when he noticed your eyes looked red and puffy, your cheeks were stained with the tears you had been crying for so long. your cheeks were sunken in, and there were dark circles underneath your eyes that were once full of life and happiness. your eyes no longer had that gorgeous sparkle in them.

spencer vowed he would get them back.

as much as spencer wanted to wrap his arms around you in that moment, to comfort you and tell you that he was there, he wanted you to make the first move. he wanted to tell you how strong you were and how proud of you he was for getting through that. he wanted to tell you how much he loved you.

he wanted you to make the first touch, because he didn't want to further upset you. he didn't want to trigger a repressed memory, or bring back the feelings of what had happened.

but spencer's touch was nothing like the officer's. spencer's touch was soft and gentle. spencer's touch was feather-light and endearing. spencer's touch was love and home. the officer's was brittle, and rough, and repulsive.

"hug me?" you sniffled as your eyes welled with tears again as they had been for the past three weeks.

"of course," spencer slowly wrapped his arms around your shoulders as yours found his torso.

he walked inside with you still in his arms and slowly shut the door. without breaking from the hug, you both walked to the couch and sat down.

you didn't say anything. you just needed spencer to keep hugging you, so he did. he did whatever you wanted, needed, from him. eventually, you fell asleep in his embrace on the couch.

when spencer looked down at you, now sleeping against his chest, he couldn't bring his heart to remove himself from you. so like any whipped man would do, he carefully picked you up bridal styled and carried you to your room. he took his shoes off as well as his sweater vest before cuddling back up next to you.

as if it was a reflex, you cuddled up into his chest when he neared you again and got underneath the covers. spencer slept the best he did in months with you. and you slept without officer johnson in your dreams for the first time since that day.

ever since then, spencer had been making sure you were eating and drinking. he took you to your therapy sessions and stayed over most nights you had asked and he was able to.

they had a few cases during the two months, so every moment he could, spencer was with you. he coaxed you back to your normal-ish self. he watched as that glimmer in your eye began to slowly grow brighter everyday. he watched as your smile came back, and your tears didn't come so frequently.

the first time he had heard you laugh again, spencer had thought he was dreaming. he wished he had recorded that moment. he was more grateful than he's ever been in his life that he had an eidetic memory, because that sound would forever be engraved in his brain.

when you returned to work, you clung to spencer. he had become your tether to reality, and hope. he had become your rock during the recovery.

over the months, everyone slowly began to forget what had even happened. things went on as usual, and the team forgot the traumatic experience you had gone through. even spencer might've let the experience get lost in his brain.

so when it became 11 months and 3 weeks since the abduction, you began to distance yourself once again.

you politely declined going out with the team a couple days before the anniversary, something you never did. you insisted that you were just especially worn out from the case you had just been on.

spencer had to finish files given to him by derek anyway, so he didn't get to witness the encounter.

once the day of the anniversary came upon you, you found yourself feeling sick to your stomach. you couldn't help the tears that would fall from your face every so often. you knew why you felt this way, but you wanted to push past it.

you had gone into the office wearing a pantsuit and blazer, wanting to avoid the normal office skirt you happened to be wearing the day it happened. you stayed at your desk and quietly did your case files. you didn't even greet spencer as you would every day. you gave him a kind smile, but you would normally give him a hug, or at the very least an eager wave upon his arrival.

spencer just assumed it was one of those days where you just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. it wasn't spencer's fault he thought this. he didn't even look at his calendar to check what day it was. he just knew they had paperwork.

but he did have this day marked in his calendar. he had it marked so he would remember to be extra kind to you, and do your files for you, and come to your place with your favorite wine and takeout. he wanted to help you through the one year anniversary, but he forgot to check his stupid calendar.

you thought he didn't care. you thought the man who you loved, and the man who helped you through everything that had happened had had enough of your complaining and grievances. so, you didn't tell him about it. you didn't bother him with the terrible thoughts clouding your mind because you thought it'd burden him.

so when you finished all of your case files early, you asked hotch if you could leave early, at 2:00, because you had things to tend to. he allowed you to do so, but this rose a flag for spencer.

he saw you exit without saying goodbye to him, something you hadn't done the entirety of knowing him. you had always told everyone to have a nice night and to be safe before leaving, but not today.

finally, he looked at his phone for the first time all day, only to feel like the worst person in the world to realize what day it was. spencer felt absolutely horrible at this revelation and ran into hotch's office as quick as he could after packing his things.

"hotch!" he exclaimed upon opening his office door.

"go. she was practically in tears," hotch informed him. "and reid," spencer stopped in his tracks to turn and look at the stern man, "please make sure she's okay." spencer gave him a soft grin and a nod before turning around and bolting out of the office.

you had gotten home and immediately burst into tears. you shut the door with your back, and slid down it. you had never understood why people had done that in movies until now. you just couldn't wait to break any longer, so you settled for your front door.

you held back no wail, or scream as you cried in front of your door, your knees pulled up to your chest as you held them tightly.

you wondered why you had to go through that. you wanted to know what kind of karma there was for someone who had always tried to do the right thing to be hurt... and for nobody to even care. nobody wanted to console you, or to make sure you were alright.

you had checked up on everyone on every anniversary of their struggles. whether it be a death, abduction, anything, you had been there for every single anniversary or reminder. and nobody was there for you.

nobody was there for you to hug, or to lean on, or to cry to, or to scream at, or to rant to. nobody was there. nobody loved you enough to care about that.

but then you had to remind yourself that they all had lives.

but the person who is your life didn't even care.

spencer didn't care.

and that's why you truly lost it.

he acted like it was just another day. he acted like it wasn't the anniversary of the day you thought you were going to die. the day you wanted to die. the day you felt your most low, and humiliated. the day you lost all hope. and he didn't remember.

if the man with an eidetic memory didn't remember, it must be extremely insignificant. so therefore, you must be extremely insignificant.

spencer raced to your house. he wanted to be there for you today, and he failed. he felt like a failure as a friend. he hated himself for not being there for you when he knew you would need him. he knew how you clung to him in your time of need. you thought he was worthy enough to hold onto when you needed someone, and spencer felt elated at that.

but now he wasn't there for you. and you needed him.

he had quickly stopped by the store and your favorite takeout place to get the things you'd want. he got your wine, chocolate, food, flowers, and a teddy bear that had a sweater vest on him - you've always loved his sweater vests.

when he got to the steps of your house, he felt his heart drop. as he walked closer he heard the wails of your crying right by the door. he could sense the heartache from the edge of your porch, and felt himself feel even worse, which he didn't think was possible.

he instantly ran to the door and knocked profusely. you sniffled one last time, feeling embarrassed that someone had heard you crying your heart out. you had figured one of your neighbors heard you and wanted to tell you to keep it down, so you wiped your tears and the stray mascara from underneath your eyes and opened the door, keeping your eyes lowered in embarrassment.

"y/n," spencer announced sadly, a tear falling down his face. you looked up in confusion from hearing his voice. you noticed his tear and reached up to wipe it away on instinct.

"why're you crying? are you okay?" you asked, forgetting all of your own problems at the sight of spencer crying. spencer let out a small chuckle at your concern.

"i'm alright, aside from the fact that i'm a terrible friend," he admitted as his smile quickly faded upon seeing your stained cheeks. "i brought your favorites," he offered, holding the bag of goodies in one hand and the takeout in another.

"y-you... why?" you asked, wanting to make sure you weren't misreading the situation for him trying to comfort you.

"why?" he asked in disbelief. "because it's the anniversary. i can't tell you how sorry i am, y/n. i swear i marked it on my calendar and planned for us to take off so i could take care of you. i-i just woke up late and never bothered to even check my phone. i kn-know it's no excuse... but i am so, so, so sorry," he rambled out, already tearing up.

you grabbed his arm gently and pulled him inside before you started crying in front of your neighbors. you took the bags from his hands and placed them on your coffee table.

"i thought you just didn't care," you shrugged as you took a seat on the couch, prompting him to sit beside you.

"y/n..." he sighed as he realized how terrible he screwed up. "i will always care about this. i will always care about you. don't ever think differently. i'm just incredibly... dumb sometimes. i can't believe i made you think that," he trailed on. "i will never not care about you, y/n. i swear it. i will always, always care about you. i will always love you," he froze as he realized what he just revealed. your eyes widened, and squinted, and roamed his face, trying to figure out if he meant the words he had just sped out. "i truly do, y/n. i i’m in love with you and i'm so sorry i made it seem otherwise."

it took you a second to absorb everything that he had said.

"you too," you solemnly admitted. "i’m in love with you too. and i could forgive you... for almost forgetting," you gave him a small smile.

"i'm glad you could forgive me. i don't know what i'd do if you didn't," he relished. "you actually love me?" you nodded with a small smile.

"i have for a while," you turned your head to the bags on the table.

"oh! right!" he said, reaching for the gifts. "i got your favorite takeout, your favorite wine, your favorite chocolates, flowers, and..." he trailed on as he revealed each item. "i saw this teddy, and i couldn't resist," he smiled.

you took the bear, taking in its appearance. it had a light blue, navy, and white diamond pattern sweater vest and brown shoes on. it looked like spencer, just teddy bear form. you smiled widely at the sentiment.

"it's you," you grinned as you took it in your arms, hugging it tightly as you saw spencer nodded with a smile mirroring that of your own. "i love it," you chuckled.

"i would understand, the fur is really soft," he relished in the thought.

"i don't think he'd be as good of a cuddler as the real thing, though," you grimaced. "but he'll do for when i don't have you here i guess," you shrugged with a smile.

"i plan on being here as long as you'll let me," he said softly.

"always," you grinned, setting down the teddy bear and trading him for the real spencer reid.

"always," he repeated, taking you in his arms and squeezing you tightly as if you'd float away at any moment. "now let's dig into this food while you talk about your feelings, if you want that is," he said after releasing you from the hug.

"i think i want to," you nodded. "and spence?" he turned from getting the food out of the bag to look at you for a second. "thank you for being my rock through all of this."

"i'll always be your rock, y/n."

@averyhotchner @greenprisca @muffin-cup

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer #spencer x y/n #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid angst

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rogue-durin-16 · 4 years ago

Text

THINGS NEVER GO AS PLANNED (Part VII/VII)

"apart"

Summary: After Fred's death, George and Y/n lean on each other to carry on. This wasn't the most brilliant idea, though; George was pretty much in love with the girl, and Y/n— well, she had been dating Fred prior to the Battle of Hogwarts.

Pairing: George Weasley x Reader

Genre: angst

Tags:

Suggested by: @crispykittywitch

George Weasley: @meph1stophelian

Things never go as planned: @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @beautyschoo1dropout @s1ut4georgeweasley @sunshineandshadows @missmulti @accioweaslcy @andreaareynoso @georgeweasley16 @dianarte @skarlettmikaelson

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog @amourtentiaa @just-here-to-escape-from-reality

Warnings: language (?) Angst

A/N: P L E A S E DON'T MURDER ME YET THERE'S AN EPILOGUE OKAY?! OKAY now enjoy <3

Prologue: the aftermath

Part I: sleepless nights

Part II: candy floss

Part III: shock therapy

Part VI: wrong name

Part V: the perfect excuse

Part VI: the downfall

Epilogue: I still love you

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

Since the Amortentia incident, Y/n had barely looked at me; not in the way I had avoided her after New Year, though, this time, it was different. She didn't seem to be doing it accidentally, rather than on purpose; she appeared to be too lost into her turmoil of thoughts to realise what she was doing, which scared me more.

I had figured the Amortentia would have had something to do with it, but it took me two days to pick up on it.

Undoubtedly, Y/n had smelled Fred's scent on it, and it dawned on her how twisted what we were doing was.

I cried myself to sleep the night that my mind stumbled upon that information. I let myself sob violently, pouring out as much pain as I could, wanting to wash away the recurrent thoughts that creeped on my mind, thoughts that were not unfounded.

That was it— I had lost both a friend and the woman I loved.

Once the tears seem to die out, a new thought appeared in my mind; maybe I was meant to be alone. I could barely function alone, how was I supposed to function with another person?

Perhaps I had always be meant to be alone.

I was going to be alone forever.

I was alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

READER'S P. O. V.

It took my careless arse a hot minute to be aware of how obvious my emotional rollercoaster was from the outside; George had been getting visibly upset by it —I'd dare to reckon he even cried the past night because of it—, and I had to stop that, but how?

I knew it was always best to tell the truth, but where would that take us? Nowhere good. I couldn't just tell George I was in love with him and expect us not to fall apart even harder.

He would think I'm lying, or that I'm using him as a second option —I couldn't let him think that—, but again, his mind had probably gone to those thoughts due to my radio silence.

I had to tell him the truth, and face the consequences.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sound of our front door's lock opening snapped me out of my own mind, and even made me jump a bit in the couch I sat. I had been waiting for George to arrive for a good couple of hours, weighing on how I could approach the topic, but I didn't seem to come up with anything remotely good.

He stepped into the flat with his eyes casted down, so it took him a moment to acknowledge my presence. "I—" his now dull eyes observed me with confusion, as if he wasn't expecting to see me in my own flat. "what are you doing awake?"

"Waiting for you." He closed the door, scrutinising me with furrowed brows. "I— well—" I cleared my throat and got up, causing his shoulders to tense up. "I wanted to tell you something."

I thought I would have to fight his childish behavior and convince him not to dodge the subject, but he only leaned on the door, his hands behind his back and his eyes casted down. "I... I wanted to tell you something too."

"You go first." I prompted him, planning on using those extra seconds to mentally prepare myself for what I was about to say —as if I hadn't been trying to mentally prepare myself for two hours already.

He peeked at me and sighed, his eyes coming back to his shoes before speaking. "I don't know how to say this— I" he pursed his lips and I could see the struggle irradiating from him. "I think you should move out." Now I knew why he refused to meet my gaze. "We— we need time away y'know— Fleur offered to help you look for an apartment. I'll go back to the Burrow until you find one— and I'm not firing you but I would appreciate if you didn't attend the clients if I'm there."

I should have spoken first, I scolded myself.

"Why?"

"What why?"

"Why you should've spoken first?"

"I— well, so you see," I tugged on my sleeves; it was my turn to avoid his look. "W-when I spilled the Amortentia— well I— I smelled—"

"I know."

"You... Do?"

"Yeah, that's... That's why I think we need some time away."

I had never in my life had my heart shattered in so many pieces in such a short span of time. The pain was so immense that I wasn't able to shed a single tear. Out of every outcome, this was the least expected.

"O-okay." We kept sneaking glances at each other in a dreadful silence until our eyes accidentally met. "I think—"

"I should—"

Another best of silence fell among us after we simultaneously spoke.

"I should go pick some things up." He muttered, passing by my side as fast as he could.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning I caught him, as I expected, sneaking out of the flat with one of the bags he had carried in months ago.

He was already exiting when I jogged out of my room, managing to catch his hand.

I could see the goosebumps in his arm, and I thanked Merlin he couldn't hear my heart threatening to leaving my chest to go with him.

"I'm really sorry, George." I whispered, squeezing his hand. Although I had a tiny bit of hope that he would change his mind and step back into our home if I said those words, it was more of a goodbye.

He just shook his head, letting me know there was no need for an apology, and squeezed my hand back before pulling away.

His fingers slipping away from mines was such an emptying feeling, as if my connection with him slept away from my grasp forever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I went to sleep that night hoping George's parting would have been a nightmare, and I cried the morning after when my brain took in that it was, in fact, very much real.

A heavily pregnant Fleur showed up that afternoon; she made me dinner and tried to cheer me up a little before making me get dressed so she could drag me out to look for flats in the Diagon Alley. It was an unsuccessful trip, but the Triwizard Tournament Champion wasn't about to give up so easily, so she came the next day, and the following, and on and on for a week.

As if summoned by the woman's will to find me a new home, we found a cheap, acceptable apartment near the shop.

I purchased it instantly, and soon enough I was moving out my things with Bill's help, to stop his wife from helping me herself.

"That's the last one, right?" Bill questioned, nodding at the bag laying on the couch with a box in his hands.

"Yup." I pulled it up and hung it on my shoulder.

"Need anything else?" I shook my head no. "Alright then I'll leave this at your place and apparate back home." He hesitated for a moment before adding, "I know it's none of my business but... Whatever happened between you two— it's fixable, believe me."

"I really don't think so." I muttered, gripping the bag's strap.

"It is," he repeated, adjusting the box in his arms. "just don't give up." He gave me a small, reassuring smile and disapparated.

Maybe he was right, maybe it was fixable. Taking a look around the now emptier apartment, I thought it surely didn't seem like it, but hope is the last thing you lose, right?

In a final attempt of getting him back, I grabbed a notebook from the bag and teared a page off it; I left the bag besides me as I knelt down and reached for a pencil forgotten over the coffee table.

Three Days Later

GEORGE'S P. O. V.

I entered the apartment— it was quiet, similar to a cemetery, just like the first time I stepped on the apartment after the war.

This time, it was empty, though.

Y/n didn't rush to the door when I opened it.

She didn't catch me when I fell on my knees and broke down to tears.

I was alone.

After Godric knows how long I managed to get myself back to my feet. I passed Y/n's old room as fast as I had first passed Fred's room months ago.

Once I got to my room and lay down on my bed, my mind cleared up enough for me to realise that I would be seeing Y/n the next day —at least once— at the shop.

"Fuck." I muttered, burying my face on my pillow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

READER'S P. O. V.

He had asked me not to leave the office while he was in the shop.

He had explicitly asked me not to, but I needed to know if he had read my letter— no, I need to know if I had taken a step in the right direction by writing the letter.

So there I was, descending the stairs in his direction, and taking my time to do so since he was talking with a couple of clients.

"Y/n!" Verity rushed to me with what seemed a defective portable swamp. "I need your help with this," My eyes, still on George, caught the way his head snapped in my direction with sheer fear on it. "I've got a woman there threatening with suing us because the swamp send one of her children to St. Mungo!" The girl managed to get my attention with her anxious rambling.

"She can't do that." George, who had probably caught on Verity's words, spoke before I could. "She agreed on our shop policy." He reminded her, walking to stand by my side.

"I already told her that Mister Weasley, but she said she's 'not taking the words of a pipsqueak'." She replied in a whisper.

"She said what?" George questioned in disbelief.

"I'm gonna shove that lawsuit up her arse." I spoke, spotting the completely out of place middle aged woman who stood in front of Verity's till. "Send her to the office." Verity looked at me and then at George for confirmation, who simply gave her a nod.

Once Verity left, I turned to the ginger, whose warm eyes were already fixed on me. "How are you?" He inquired in a way that let me see it was out of politeness, which made my hopes die a little.

"Been better." I replied, ready to somehow test the waters. "How about you?"

"Same, I suppose." George didn't even try to put on a happy face, and I started to get anxious; there was no way he would have missed the note —I left it on the kitchen table— so that meant he had read it and- "You should go back to the office."

My heart attempted to hold onto the possibility of him not having read the note, but my brain knew better than that. "Alright." I nodded and went back to my workplace; I would deal with that woman and after that, I would prepare a resignation letter.

George was right, we needed to be apart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn't that bad, I lied to myself, sitting down on the sofa while undoing the tie's knot.

My mind was about to begin the overthinking of Y/n's words when my stomach growled. Without noticing, I had gone without a single meal for the entire day.

I listened to my body and moved to the kitchen to prepare myself something. While the stove heated up, I turned around and took a look at the kitchen; just like the rest of the rooms, it seemed gloomier without Y/n lighting up the apartment.

Stop thinking about her.

My eyes landed on a piece of paper with one of Y/n's rings over it. Before properly realising it, I was sitting down on one of the chairs and reading what had been written in the scrapped page.

Dear George,

I know what happened is on both of us, but I can't help but blame myself, as selfish as it might sound.

You don't know this, but while at Hogwarts, I found you and Fred rather annoying— I didn't understand why everyone seemed to fancy you so much. Then, you hired me to work in this amazing shop, and I understood.

During these past two years I had the pleasure and honour to call you my friend; you made my life much better, I'd like to think I did the same.

I wanted to apologise for everything I've done since New Year. I'm so very sorry for falling in love with you. Though it was something so easy to happen, I never thought it would go this far.

I don't know what is this letter (a proper goodbye? I don't know), but I want need you to know that I never wanted to harm you nor our friendship, and that I'm still going to be here for you, feelings aside.

Love,

Y/n.

I re-read the fourth paragraph at least five times before taking it in.

She had fallen in love with me.

That's what she had meant to say when she spoke to me about the Amortentia— that she had smelled my scent— Oh no.

My reply— she probably thought it was unrequited; she probably thought I had kicked her out because she was in love with me and not quite the opposite.

Without thinking twice, I ran down to the office with the letter clutched in my hand; she had to be there, she was always the last one to leave.

She had to be there.

I was so focused on reaching the office on time that I missed Y/b's figure exiting the shop.

I slammed the door open, just to find the table's surface, which used to be full of Y/n's things, clean in its entirety, aside from an envelope which had written on it 'resignation'.

"No."

READER'S P. O. V.

I had just left the small box with my things over the coffee table, and was taking off my shoes when an apparition noise followed by a couple of bangs on my front door made me jolt.

Out of a sad habit I, among the rest of the Order, had gotten during the war, I grabbed my wand and approached the door.

My arm fell limply on my side while I stared into George's eyes, which seemed to hold back a storm of mixed emotions.

"C-can we talk?" My gaze then fell on the paper his hand was gripping, and that I assumed was my resignation.

"George, listen, I can't—"

"I'm in love with you."

Words had stumbled out of his mouth in panic, and the only thing I could reply was, "What?"

#george weasley headcanon #george weasley fanfiction #george weasley fanfic #george weasley x you #george weasley x reader angst #george weasley x reader #george weasley x y/n #george weasley x ravenclaw!reader #george weasley x hufflepuff!reader #george weasley x gryffindor!reader #george weasley x slytherin!reader #george weasley smut #george x reader smut #harry potter imagine #harry potter fanfiction #things never go as planned

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headinthestaticsky · 3 years ago

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Frozen within the Night Wind: Jasper Hale x Fleur Swan, Book 3 Chapter 1

None of the characters in twilight belong to me, all rights go to Stephenie Meyer.

Summary: Fleur has never been in more danger than she has now. Not only does she have the revengeful and angry Victoria after her. But the Volturi is wanting to go after her as well. Will Fleur be able to stay human? Or will someone end up getting in her way?

"Baby, that isn't how they look tonight

It took the light absolutely forever to get to your eyes

And as we gaze skyward, ain't it dark early?

It's the star treatment."

Star Treatment, By The Arctic Monkeys

Those speckled stars in the midnight sky are my possibilities of life, my fate.

That ocean is the course I will float through. It may be choppy and rough.

Or that tide that the moons controls will take me under.

Now in days, it always felt like that moon was going to take me in the water, pushing me down deep. I had multiple targets on my back and many deadly people trying to shoot their shots toward me. It seemed I had grown numb to the idea of my heart not beating anymore. It felt like a fate I couldn't escape. I should've known this would happen... I was dating someone whose heart had stopped beating over a hundred years ago. I would never blame him for my problems, of course, he couldn't control my sister's mouth as much as I wanted him to.

My dreams had started to get strange...Anytime I was "in" Victoria she was always alone. I felt her resentment, nervousness, and the constant hesitance of the people around her. I was always wondering what had happened to that man she had bitten. Leah and I hadn't talked since her dad had ended up getting killed, I hadn't seen Seth either. Bella and I had been worse than we had ever been. Seeing her still makes me sick to my stomach and Edward made me just as sick too. But I knew something was coming...and I knew that we would all have to stick together, whether we wanted to or not.

I was currently making my way down to the Cullens, I wanted to see Rosalie and Jasper, and Alice too. I couldn't stand to be in that house by myself with Edward and Bella not too far away.

Tell me, how am I to feel? Tell me how... I don't know if I can chill I need to scream it loud

Female Energy PT2 by, Willow Smith

I pulled into the Cullen's driveway and jogged up to the door, knocking softly. Jasper had always told me I never needed to knock and that I could just come in but, it always felt wrong not doing it. I looked through the glass and saw Rosalie smiling, she had more bridal magazines in her hands. Ever since she found out Jasper and I had gotten engaged she was gung ho on planning our wedding. I was convinced she could be a professional wedding planner.

"Fleur! You came right on time." I walked into the house and took my sweater off.

"Glad I made it on time... my rule is when Edward enters the house, it's time for me to leave the house." I joked.

"Oh, I'm sure they're driving you nuts."

"You have no idea... Is Jasper here?

"No, he went on a hunting trip with Emmett, Esme, Dean, Carlisle, and Alice, they'll be gone for the rest of the night."

"Oh okay. What'd you find?" I asked gesturing toward the pile of magazines.

"I was looking at wedding dresses perfect for forest weddings, and when the best time to have weddings at, as well as things you shouldn't have in a wedding because they can cause bad luck."

"Rose... Alice is starting to rub off on you isn't she?" I said a smirk was plastered on my face.

"Yes... I think she is."

"So, what do they tell us about what are the best dresses to wear?"

"Well, I was seeing a lot of lace, and most the dresses were short."

"I like lace."

"Good, we've made progress."

"I was thinking about having Lilies of the Valley for the main floral arrangements."

"You are reading my mind Fleur."

We were scanning through different magazines, pointing out some things I would want to have. The distraction was nice but soon enough those same thoughts crept back into my head. Rosalie noticed this and a concerned look was replaced with her joyful one.

"What's going on in that head of yours Fleur."

I sighed

"I'm just freaked out about everything...and these dreams about Victoria aren't helping either."

"You've had more dreams about Victoria?" She inquired, her face was full of shock."

"Oh...I didn't say anything about that did I?"

"No...what's she doing?"

"Well, the first dream I had of her again was while all you guys were gone. She had attacked some man but didn't kill him. The dreams of her I've had recently are just her alone... she seems so nervous now."

"I wish I could help you out with whatever's going on but, I can't do anything for your dreams."

"It's not your fault Rose... I just wish I knew why my dreams have been so accurate when it came to things involving her. Well... there was one other thing, but I'm not sure if Jasper told you."

"What's it about?"

"I was having dreams the night you guys had left, one of them I was standing on a random street corner, and Jasper was there driving a car. When he got a second look at me I disappeared. He had called me in the middle of the night and asked me how I found him."

"Oh my god...are you sure you're fully human?" She asked playfully.

"I don't know what the heck I am at this point," I said, chuckling.

"I have to admit, it's impressive... I've never even heard a vampire being able to do that stuff."

"I wish I could control it, the dreams cut off after a while."

"I wouldn't worry about it, for now, it comes into use for us when we've reached dead ends. You have to be hungry, why don't we take a break from wedding planning?"

"Sounds good... I'm starving!"

After I had finished dinner, it was late so I had decided to spend the night there. I pulled out my phone and called dad, so he didn't freak out about anything.

"Hey Petal, I was just about to call."

"Sorry dad, I'm over with Rosalie... we spent too much time wedding planning. I'm going to spend the night here since it's so late." I explained.

"That's fine, tell Rosalie I said hi."

"I will love you, dad."

"Love you too."

"I'm going to bed Rose, I'll see you in the morning."

"Alright, sleep well." She said.

I went up to Jasper's room and collapsed on the bed the Cullens had gotten for me. I was roused awake slightly a few hours later, those familiar cold arms wrapped themselves around me. I fell back to sleep a few seconds later. I awoke the next morning, the sun was burning my face. It was one of those rare day's the sun decided to make an appearance in Forks. I groaned and buried my face in one of the cush pillows behind my head. I heard a deep chuckle from the doorway.

"You never were a morning person were you love?" I heard Jasper ask...not matter how long I was here on this Earth, I would never get tired of his voice.

"I don't wanna get up...you can't make me."

"I technically could darlin, I am a vampire you know."

"But you're a nice vampire...you love me too much to wake me up."

"Edward and Bella will be coming over soon..." I shot up and looked at him, a grin on his face told me he was joking.

"I take it back, you're mean."

"If it'll make it up to you...I'll make you breakfast."

"As nice as that sounds... I better go, dad is probably waiting for me."

"Okay love, I'll see you tonight." He said, I kissed him before leaving, I bid everyone a goodbye in the lounge room and made it toward my car. The long drive back was going well until my car had broken down.

"Aww damn it..." I said, getting out of my car. I was still in the forest, the dead leaves were crunching underneath my feet. Before I could open the engine however I heard another set of feet coming toward me. I looked up and locked eyes with someone who looked familiar to me... his eyes were blood red.

"Fleur Swan... we meet at last."

#jasper hale x reader #rosalie hale #jasper hale #jasper hale x oc #jasper whitlock #jasper cullen #carlisle cullen #emmett cullen #esme cullen #alice cullen #edward cullen #bella swan #twilight saga #twilight

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minahoeshi · 4 years ago

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to be yours and you, mine.

Kuroo Tetsurō x reader | just pure angst. so much angst.

warning: major character death

prelude: the end lets its presence be known before it comes around. At times, that sense of awareness feels like a blessing. But with you and Tetsurou, the reminder of what soon will come can only hurt you even further. Because mankind has never been powerful enough to do anything against so many things. We have always been weak in the face of nature. especially against the passage of time and all the things it keeps taking from us.

It's almost odd how the world changed when you realised what the moments of silence has reduced your relationship into. How, when you finally acknowledged the fact that perhaps the end of a prolonged short story is nearer than you'd rather believe, a filter seemed to slip off of the camera, along with the vibrance you never realised was raised too high. It's not like the frames suddenly are less colourful. It's just that the tinges of blue in the shadows and highlights have made themselves more obvious, like a sign waiting for you to conclude things yourself.

Maybe it's because it's the new years and new beginnings just seem so scary. Or maybe it's the ice in the air, or the meteorologist on the television announcing that it's 7°C that morning that makes the lack of warmth between you and him more unbearable. But you wake up to the silence of the world, not even the birds are around to fuss above your house. To the empty space beside you, a reminder of his message three days ago.

Tetsu(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡

I'm staying with my family this new year. Okaa-san thinks I need to spend 'the end of the year and the beginning of a new one with those that made such days possible for me'. You know, her usual line to remind me of their importance. Miss you.

Let's video call on new year's eve, yeah?

received 9:26

He did call you last night. Not the video call he promised, but a voice call on Line. But you didn't answer. If he asked why, you would've told him you were with your friends in a shrine celebrating new years with prayers for a better future for one another, drinking sake, and walking the streets of Shibuya with your girls and gays and the one guy friend that everyone wonders how he ended up in the group.

It didn't hurt that he only called you once and never tried again. It didn't hurt that he didn't ask why. But fuck was it painful to hear the voicemail.

"Happy new year, Y/N san. I'll see you tomorrow. I'll be there with you, I promise. I love you. So much."

It's scary and painful how his voice seemed to waver. How it was shaky and devoid of his usual timbre, a ghost of what once was a joking and rarely serious tone that took light of most situations. His voice that you loved so much, absent because maybe he knew too.

Maybe he was aware that no saving can be done to bring forth the past as if it was the present. To rebuild the broken and to remind you both of what you had all these years. To you and him, the signs couldn't be more obvious. When the world crumbles, you don't save it. You kiss it goodbye and go on to search for a new one. One that won't break with you in it. (but you know you won't search. you never do.)

You spend the next hours awake. The consciousness, unwanted. You want so much to just fall down as if the darkness can just swallow you and you'd be happier in it. In silence, you might feel better.

But you can't help the way your brain works. You bask in the reminiscing, the present disappearing before you until it's the past that owns you.

It's not the memories that grabs hold of you but him in his entirety. You cry because you will miss all that he is. The lazy tone he uses when he feels comfortable beside you on the couch. The humour he finds in everything, even in chemistry which is crazy because nothing about chemistry is comical. The messy hair he refuses to tame because he loses his identity, a piece of him, his pride and legacy when his hair looks neat. You'll miss his hand on your back when you're walking outdoors, his iced coffee with a secret ingredient that is probably not really a secret, his hugs when you feel yourself falling in the deep hole of misery, his excitement when he speaks of volleyball, his pride when he talks about his achievements, his— all of him. You'll miss all of him. Too much.

Kuroo spends the car ride thinking of you. Reminding himself to remind you of all that you must remember. To hold your hand tight for as long as he can until he can't.

He reminds himself of the things he love so much about you. Of your unequaled patience and trust in him. Of your ability to strip him of all his bad so that he can only see his good. Of your laughter when he speaks of his day as comically as possible. Of the mornings he wakes up beside you. Of your— everything. All that you are.

Because as the car nears your house, he feels himself crumble. Because he just knows what is about to come. So he must keep in him all your good and bad to be grounded. To stay long enough.

Kuroo stays in the car and stared at the door. The door that opens slowly and reveals you in your scarf and windbreaker. Beautiful. You in all your tear-stained glory, your nose and ears red. He stares as you step into the snow and approach him. He stares as you knock on the window.

And so he opens the door.

You break again the moment you see him. You wish to be strong for him. He doesn't deserve your sadness and weakness but he told you to let yourself be. That your tears are better seen than hidden. Because it helps him and you know how you are feeling. So that he doesn't have to walk around eggshells because you both expose all your vulnerability to one another.

So you fall on his knees. You dont wait for him to get out. You cry on his lap and you know he cried with you. You fall apart together. The same way you built each other to be whoever you two are today, you both break each other.

You say, Testu. Tetsu Tetsu Tetsu Tetsu. He says it's fine, he's fine. He leans and kisses your head and you cry more the same way he does as he hugs you from above. I'm sorry, you say. I should've answered your call, you say.

But I was scared. I was too scared.

And you both know. You fear the same thing. Because as Kuroo is placed on his wheelchair with your help and Kenma's who has been with you two since the very beginning. He leaves both of you because he knows that's what's best. He gives Kuroo a hug before he drives away.

He's bone-thin. Dark bags under his eyes, cheekbones too visible, lips too pale— tired. He looked more tired than three days ago, before he suddenly disappeared that day and you felt too much pain because was he gonna leave you that way? Was he not gonna be with you until the very last of everything?

You were thankful he texted you that night. Because you would've gone crazy with all your thoughts. You understood why he had to go home. His family needed him and he needed them. You couldn't be selfish.

That night, you spend hours on your bed with Kuroo. He didn't need the morphine, he tells you. He's okay. But his breathing is ragged and he's sweating. He can't move without hurting. But you don't give him painkillers because he told you so. So instead, you kiss him. You kiss him and tell him you love him. You tell him you were happiest with him. He doesn't talk much. But the last he said before you both slept was, "I love you too. More than anything and everything. I love you."

The next morning, you cry harder. This time, all by yourself. Tetsutetsutetsutetsutetsutetsu. He never responds.

You cry harder.

But at the very least, he was still holding your hand.

Tetsu(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡

Science is yet to prove the existence of reincarnation so instead of pinning everything on it, I'd rather appreciate this one life I spent loving you. Because there's no other way for me to have lived than to be yours and you mine. This one life is enough for the universe to understand that we are eternity, you and me. Forever.

I love you. I know you love me too.

2:09 am

You

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

5:27 am

Okaa-san - mother

Tetsu - nickname for Kuroo from his first name, Tetsuro. In Japan, cute nicknames are more common than endearments like honey or love.

Shibuya - a city or special ward in the prefecture, Tokyo.

Sake - Japanese alcohol made of rice and other ingredients.

Line - most used messaging app in Japan.

Thanks for reading!

#haikyuu #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu reader insert #haikyuu fanfic #haikyuu fic #haikyu x reader #haikyuu angst #kuroo tetsuro #kuroo #kuroo imagine #kuroo reader insert #kuroo fanfic #kuroo fic #kuroo x reader #kuroo angst #nekoma

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alovesthis · 4 years ago

Text

Safe (Sam Winchester x Reader)

Summary: You go missing one night after leaving the bunker for some errands, and the boys try their best to find you. After being held by demons for a few days, you find your way out and suddenly you show up back at the bunker safe and sound. The boys arrive back and they find you. This makes Sam realize that he can't hide his feelings forever.

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Warnings: Little Angst, Friends To Lovers, Fluff

There wasn't many things you hated in this world, you never hated anyone or anything because that wasn't who you were. Even as a hunter you tried your best not to let hatred consume you but those damn demons were something else.

Two nights ago you were out grabbing things for the bunker for yourself and the guys. Normally Sam would join you, his way to get some alone time with you and maybe try to admit his growing feelings he's been feeling for you for quite some time now. But you told him you needed alone time for the day, explaining that when you get back the two of you could find something to do. You were out all day and Sam started to get anxious until Dean tried to tell him you were probably just driving around taking some time off.

You held on that night you escaped and killed some of the demons the best you could considering all the damage they caused. Bruises almost everywhere from the fights, cuts from their knives on your face and neck everything hurt. The words they said to you hit right home and the thought of them finding the boys -- hurting Sam? You couldn't stomach having Sam being torn away from you. It made you angry that you didn't let Sam come with you that day because maybe if he did you wouldn't be in this mess.

But Dean was totally wrong. You ran into some trouble with two demons which at first you thought you could handle, but that was until till a dozen had attacked you. They did awful things to you to try and get to the Winchesters but you wouldn't budge, they were your family now and nothing could ever make you risk their safety. You did and said this confidently as you knew that they would do anything for you, Sam would do anything and everything to keep you safe.

After running far enough from wherever you were, you found a car and stole it - thanks to Sam teaching you how to hot wire one. Figuring out where you last were you then made it back to the bunker, but once you walked down those steel steps you called out for Sam but no one answered. No Dean and no Cas either.

For those two days that felt never ending to Sam, he never stopped looking and neither did Dean. His fear was slowly becoming real and to lose you meant that he would never get the chance to tell you he's in love with you. To lose you meant he'd never be okay with himself knowing he couldn't save you. This weight he was carrying now wasn't doing him good and Dean had to try and console him and get his head back right and focus on finding you safe.

You hated the fact that they were probably doing everything they could to try and save you during a time where so much was going on. Before you were taken that night, the boys and you were trying to solve yet another major issues along with going on hunts. Dealing with Metaron, the fall of Angels and helping Cas all while making sure Sam was okay after his death and being possessed by Gadreel.

The issues you and the boys encountered the last five years together was endless, but the thing you noticed is that no one was ever alone and you all tried your best to keep each other safe.

Between you and Sam there were constant promises and reassurances that went further than just friends -- it meant something deeper to the both of you, but telling yourselves that and trying to communicate those feelings with actual words were hard.

There was nothing, thanks to the demons who cleaned and cover their tracks, to be able to track you down. Cas answered Sam, but his strength was not good lately considering he didn't have much grace in him. Dean convinced Sam to get back to the bunker for the night and get his head together before going back out to find you, but when they returned Sam was relieved.

The night you came back after escaping the demons your strength was at a low for the first time in a while. It was exhausting being a hunter, but now practically being a Winchester it meant no sleep especially dealing with the Angels hunting Cas down after they fell.

You tried to walk to one of the chairs in the library but failed and ended up falling into a wall and sliding down, sitting restlessly against it trying to hold yourself up. After what felt like hours of antagonizing pain and going in and out, the bunker door opens and heavy footsteps come down the steel steps.

You hear Sam call out your name and you slowly lift your head, eyes still clenched close in pain as you tried to call out for him but instead let out a wincing groan filled with your cries.

"Hey, hey what happened?" Dean voice echos through the bunker in a panic as he follows Sam in the library.

"Dean go get the first aid, I got her."

Sam falls the ground and carefully engulfs you into his arms as he places a hand on your face, tears beginning to from in his eyes. He observes your body to check for any life threatening wounds, but only finds the bruises and cuts. His hand slides up your face gently as it stops by your jawline, his thumb softly rubbing a part of your cheek that doesn't have a cut.

"We were looking everywhere for you, we were trying our best."

"It's okay," you speak softly. "I'm here now and I'm so damn exhuasted."

"What happened," he stutters, "who did this?"

You stare up at him and notice his face scrunched up, eyebrows furrowed in and a tear trailing down his cheek.

"Those," you begin to tremble, "those fucking demons. They knew everything about you and Dean and somehow me too. The things they said and did to try and get me to turn on you, I wouldn't let them come here."

"You should've told them-"

"And then what? Get you and your brother killed?"

"They could've tried." Sam sadly chuckles. "You're hurt and this is because-"

"Don't you dare say because of you. That's the oldest excuse in the book."

"I know but if I lost you, I don't know what I'd do with myself. I can't imagine you not being here anymore."

"If you did, you'd have to let me go. That's how are life is, that's what happens."

"Stop."

Sam leans forward and lets his lips linger on your forehead for what felt like forever. You crack a smile as you begin to think how worried he was for you, how he was sorry that he wasn't there for you that day. His hand rests on the side of your neck and he sighs.

"Sam, I'm not dying." You grip his hand and squeeze. "Just a little hurt. Nothing can stop me as you can tell."

You try to lighten the mood even though you were in pain both physically and mentally. His lips lift up in a smile but quickly turns into a frown as he pulls you more into his arms, not wanting to let you go just yet. He stares into your eye then flashes to all the wounds you had got from the last two days. Out of all the cases you've been on this was different. He'd seen you hurt before and vice versa, but this time it wasn't on a case and this was the first time you'd ever been taken by someone -- by demons.

"Everything just hurts." You look into his eyes. "I want to kill them all for what they did to me, what they tried to do."

"It's okay you're back home now." Sam whispers. "You're here with me, you're safe. We'll get you fixed up then Dean and I will find them."

You reach out to stop him from moving as you move your hand on top of his to reach up to his face. For a moment your glossy eyes focus on each others as if you both wanted to say something more after a life threatening moment you had. But the words you wanted to say didn't come out as you were struck with nerves running through your stomach. Sam tilts his head in wonder as your thumb swipes from his cheek and just runs over the corners of his lip.

"Not yet," you reply. "Can we just stay here like this for a little longer?"

Sam lets out a laugh as he furrows his brows, "I gotta get you fixed up."

"Just... hold me for a sec."

"Yeah," Sam says.

Sam adjusts himself so that his back leans against the wall with you in his lap, the two of you resting together as Dean is off getting the medical supplies and other things for him and Sam to take care of you. You were beginning to think that maybe Dean had been purposely taking time to get the medical supplies to leave the two of you alone, but you shrugged it off with thinking that Dean (and even Sam) had no clue about your feelings for Sam.

"Yeah," he repeats, "we can stay here for a sec." He leans down and kisses your forehead that is currently pounding with a headache and you close tour eyes at the warmth that begins to spread in your body.

Two days had gone by and the boys had left you to rest as they checked in on you from time to time. Cas had came by to apologize for you and offered to help find those damn demons and hunt them down. Dean had popped in now and then to make sure you were alright, and to let you know that Sam was too. But you noticed, in just the two days, he started coming to your room less and less. And today, you hadn't seen him at all.

“Dean?”

"You alright?"

"Where's Sam?" You furrow your brows as you sit up in your bed. "I haven't seen him since yesterday...please don't tell me he went to hunt down-"

"No, no," dean shakes his head, "he's here. I think he just blames himself for what happened to you. He cares a whole damn lot for you."

"He does?"

"Have you not noticed the way he stares at you every time you walk in a room? All the time you two nerds hang out together with a pile of books?"

You start to blush and think back to all the times Sam and you would be alone in the bunker. Obviously the moment since you met these boys, there was something about Sam that made you feel all giddy inside with butterflies fluttering throughout your stomach and your mind going a mile a minute with thinking about him.

You didn't realize that Sam could possibly have those feelings for you, but you also didn't think that Sam could blame himself for things that can go wrong with things he has no control over. But here you were listening to Dean tell you things that should be obvious to you about Sam.

"Where is he?"

Dean raises his brows and smirks, "Ah so you're gonna be the one to tell him how you feel?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," you try to hide your smile as you stand up from your bed. "I'm going to tell him that none of this is his fault and he should't be hiding from me."

Dean just laughs and leans against your wall in your room.

"So, are you going to tell me where he is?"

"His room, kid."

"Thank you, ass."

You roll your eyes and chuckle as you leave your room with Dean following behind, then telling you he'd be drinking away and stuffing his pie hole with some food. As you walk to Sam's room you stop for a moment and breathe through some of the pain you feel along with the butterflies that spark within your body. Raising your hand to his door you knock lightly a few times and walk in slowly.

Sam sits on his bed with his laptop on his legs, squinting at the screen in front of him before he lifts his head up and straightening out his back once he notices you're the one who knocked.

"Hey," you enter his room after knocking, "can I come sit?"

He nods his head and moves his legs off his bed to make room for you.

"How are you feeling?"

"The painkillers Dean gave me worked like magic, but I think they're wearing off. Still feeling eh."

Sam looks glances away from you and to the floor trying to avoid your eyes.

"Sam, it's not your fault what happened to me." You grab his hand and hold it, making sure he knows you're being serious. "This life we live, shit like this is bound to happen. And don't you go ahead and start saying it's because of you being a Winchester. I live here with you guys, I feel like I'm practically one."

Sam's head tilts in your direction and smiles with empathy as he nods.

"I know you're telling me it's not my fault but please believe me when I say I do everything I can to keep you safe because I really do care about you."

"I know Sam, I care about you and Dean too. Caring isn't a crime."

"No, no more than what you think." He stutters as he looks away again like he's nervous. His hand pulls away from yours and you start to think you over stepped despite what he just said. It stays quiet between you and him as you wait patiently for Sam to sort out his thoughts. His eyebrows are pulled as if he's struggling with something.

"Sam?"

"I've been trying...I've just," Sam continues to stutter over his words and you realize he's not focusing on what he's trying to talk to you, his nerves are starting to get the best of him.

Before he continues to talk, you reach over to his hand again and hold it as your other hand gently glides back and forth the other side of his hand.

"It's okay." You reassure him. "Are you...okay?"

He takes a deep breath and still keeps his eyes on the floor, "for a long time now every time you walk in a room, my heart stops at how beautiful you are...my friend. And that scares me so much to feel the way I do about someone I care a lot for and those feelings could easily mess everything we have all up."

You heart begins to thump harder against your chest as you listen.

Sam lets out a breath, "and to have lost you the other day, I thought I might've lost you forever. I thought I'd never get the chance to tell you how much I want to keep you safe. How much- how much I..."

He pauses and suddenly turns his body so that it's almost completely facing you on his bed, trying to muster the courage to tell you everything he feels for you.

"Look," he whispers your name and takes a gulp of air, "I thought you were gone forever and I thought about how I never got the chance to tell you how I much I love you."

"Oh..." You stare in awe as he looks up at you, trying to take his hand away from you as he starts to think this was a mistake. Flickering your eyes down at Sam trying to pull away, you pull on them and make him look at you.

"I can't believe you're telling me this." You admit.

"It's okay if you don't-"

"And what if I do?" You question as your left hand raises to rest on the side of his face as he closes his eyes and lets a hopeful smile form. "Sam, I've fallen in love with you a long time ago."

His ears perk up as he moves closer to you again as his thigh sits dangerously close to yours, his arm awkwardly wrapping around your waist. He lets out a scoff as he pulls his arm away from you, not sure how this was going to go. After all, he was so damn nervous even if you did just tell him you felt the same way. In this life, neither of you were lucky or fortunate enough to really go for it -- for love.

"You do?"

"Yeah I do, I love you Sam."

You watch him move his arm around you then quickly retracts as he rests it back into his lap, making you smile at his awkwardness. He just made a move on you with telling you how he felt and now he tried to make another, but his nerves got the best of him. So you decided to make the move for him, it was the least you could do despite being just as nervous as him.

Reaching out to him your hand lands on his jaw and the other on his neck, pulling him forward eagerly. The two of you stare at each other, Sam is surprised by your movements but follows along as you place your lips right on his, forcing both of your eyes shut. He moves into the kiss as he finally uses his arm to wrap around your waist and pulls you closer to him, wanting to kiss you longer as he becomes infatuated by the invisible sparks going off.

Kissing him had made it feel like the things around you were starting to blur into oblivion, and that the only things that were existing in the moment were you and Sam. Your hand on his face leaves to join the one that's wrapped around his neck as you kiss him deeper, your tongue swiping across his bottom lip to make another move.

You hear a low moan coming from Sam as he practically pulls you into him on his lap but not quite, as his mouth opens and now his tongue is the one to swipe across your lip. In sync both of your mouths open and your tongues begin to dance with and against each other.

Before it would go any further you pull your tongue away and he follows and you move away off his lips, still lingering just centimeters away. Your eyes open and you stare at each other for a few seconds until you kiss him once more.

You pull away and breathlessly chuckle, "well damn, if this is how I knew you felt I would've let demons take me much sooner."

You try and joke until Sam's arms wrap around your waist and practically pulls you onto his lap. His forehead rests on yours and he bites his lip.

"Don't joke like that." You hear him say.

"I'm sorry." You breathlessly laugh. "I'm here now, safe. It's all going to be fine as long as I'm here with you."

Sam pulls you into him as he leans back embracing you into his side as you both fall onto his bed cuddling into each other.

“I thought you were gone for good," Sam begins to speak. "I know this life isn't easy and we can't protect everyone, but I would do anything for you because I love you."

“You know I'd do anything for you too." You lean up and kiss him on his cheek right on the corner of his mouth. "Now come on big guy, let's get going. We've got a lot of work do."

You try and get up but his arms pull you back into him and you let out a laugh. He looks at you lovingly as his hand reaches down to the side of your face and smiles.

"Can we just stay here like this for a little longer?" He repeats your words from a few days ago, making your heart swell up and blush as your cheeks heat up.

"Yeah," you nod and kiss his lips gently then resting your head on his chest, "yeah we can."

There is not enough sam love in the world of fanfics and I'm a Dean girl LOL hope you enjoyed 🥺

my works like this one can be found on:

AO3- womanwhowritesformany

Wattpad- A-TWDSPN-Love

and this tumblr!

#supernatural #SPN #SPN 9 #supernatural season 9 #one shot #SPN oneshot #SPN one shot #Sam winchester #Sam #sam oneshot #Sam winchester one shot #Sam x reader #Sam winchester x reader #reader #fanfic

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moonstruckholland · 5 years ago

Text

Can We Go Back To Bed? (t.h)

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Word count: 2,497

Warnings: angst, fluff if you squint, flashbacks

A/N: this was supposed to come out a couple of months ago 😅 but here she is, the first one shot of my Cosmic Soul series! Shout out to @fangirlwithasweettooth and @hollandsamor for being amazing and reading this over for me! I really hope y'all like it 💕

Tom had never felt as far from you as he did lying next to you tonight.

Lying next to you was honestly a bit of an overstatement. With the way you were laying, there was enough space between you to fit a whole other person on the bed. You were curled up on your side, so close to the edge, Tom was worried with one wrong move you’d just roll onto the floor. He considered reaching out, moving next you, but for the first time since you started dating he was truly scared of being rejected, of the pain he knew he'd feel if you pulled away from him.

He wanted nothing more than to touch you, kiss you, anything. He just wanted to feel close to you. Instead he quietly got up, careful not to wake you as he made his way out the room, the whole night replaying in his head.

Everything was off from the moment he walked through the door.

“Princess? I'm home!"

Flowers in hand, he walked through the apartment, looking for you. He heard a door open and a soft, “Tom?” come from the bathroom as he set his luggage down in your bedroom.

“I’m here, baby.”

You poked your head out of the doorway, hair wet and matted, a towel wrapped around your body, “Tom! Hi!”

He had expected you to run up to him and jump into his arms, like you always did before.

Instead, you casually walked over, kissing his cheek as if he hadn't been gone for months, "You didn't tell me you were coming home!"

He hadn't thought much about in the moment, but now, he could tell something was just wrong.

He knew something would be different, that was the price that came with being gone for months at a time. But not with you.

You'd always been a constant for Tom, giving him a wonderful sense of security he lacked in his hectic life. He knew no matter he could count on coming home to your warm and loving embrace.

Or at least he did.

The rest of the night had been just as weird as when he came in. You had your normal movie marathon like you did every time Tom came home, but this time around that feeling that you were out of reach was in the back of Tom's head.

You were too far, barely touching him, and you sure as hell didn't say a word to him. The normal joking around was gone, replaced with silence despite the sounds of the movie surrounding the both of you.

You had asked him questions every once in a while, about his flight, if he was tired or hungry. If he hadn't been paying too much attention, he would've thought it was just you being your normal, caring self, but it was too polite, like he was just someone visiting.

He couldn't stop dwelling on it no matter how hard he tried and that's how he found himself walking around the apartment, coming to realize it just as different as you were.

It was all little things and maybe if he didn't feel the need to look so closely, he probably never would've noticed, but he couldn't help it now.

There were flowers everywhere, fake ones in pretty vases all around because the real ones made you sad when they inevitably died. Tom could almost picture how excited you must've been setting up each vase and how long it probably took you to decide where to put them because you were such a perfectionist.

The blankets and pillows on the couch were different too, cute little sayings stitched into each one, and Tom wondered when you'd gotten then. You used to always tell him when you got new things. When was the last time you'd mentioned going to Hobby Lobby or Target?

What stuck out to Tom the most were the pictures you had. Some of the old pictures of the two of you were replaced with people he'd never seen before, he assumed co-workers, though he couldn't recall you telling him about anyone in the photos with you.

He felt a pang of guilt. How much had he missed?

He finally came across a familiar picture, one Harrison had taken of the two of you when you weren't looking the day you moved into this apartment together. You and Tom were smiling goofily at each other, pulling out things from a box on the floor.

Tom couldn't help smiling as he thought back to that day, to how happy you were.

"Tommy, baby, you have to be careful carrying that box. It has all our plates and I don't think you're gonna want to eat off a napkin." You warned him as you watched him carry the heavy box on his own, despite you and Haz both offering to help.

"I'll be careful, princess, I promise," he said confidently before somehow tripping over his own feet and hitting the wall, the plates clattering loudly

Tom looked back to see you rolling your eyes as if you knew he would do exactly that. He quickly put the box down on the floor, finding the box cutter on the kitchen counter and opening it up to make sure he hadn't broken anything.

He let out a sigh of relief before yelling out, "They're all okay!"

You shook your head at him, but Tom could see a smile on your face as you tried not to laugh.

You approached him, mumbling something about putting the plates away before Tom could break them.

Harrison was behind you, carrying a box without any complications, "It's not too late for me to take him back, y/n."

"I might just take you up on that, Haz."

"Hey!" Tom pouted, "You don't mean that do you, baby?"

You wrapped your arms around him, standing up on your tippy toes to plant a big kiss on his cheek, "Never, honey, I don't know what I'd do without you."

He put a hand on your waist, pressing a kiss to your lips before saying, "Good thing you're stuck with me then."

You were about to say something when you were rudely off by Haz throwing a napkin at you, "Oi, you two, come help me unpack your things please."

You pulled away from Tom, your laughter filling the room as you went to help. Tom watched, a warmth filling him as he thought about how lucky he was to be living this with you.

'What happened?’ He wondered with a sigh, the fond memories fading, leaving him with an achy feeling in his chest as he plopped down on the couch.

The sound of the bedroom door opening startled him, pulling him out of thoughts completely.

“Baby?” You shuffled over to him sleepily, eyes squinting at the bright light, “What are you doing up so late?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

You nodded, taking a seat beside him, laying your head on the soft cushion.

“What’s wrong, Tommy?”

Tommy. It was a nickname he had grown to love over the years.

“My Tommy,” you’d always say, usually right caressing his face fondly or pressing your lips to his.

He hadn’t realized just how much he missed hearing it or how long it’d been since the last time it came from your lips.

He didn't answer your question, looking down at his fingers. What was he supposed to say? "Hey, babe, I feel like our relationship is falling apart and I was wondering if you felt the same?"

No, he absolutely couldn't say that, but he couldn't just not say anything at all.

You gently touched his face, grabbing his drifting attention once more, "Baby, talk me. What's going on?"

He debated with his thoughts for a moment longer, before finally deciding to work up the courage to speak what was on his mind.

"I miss you."

You gave him a little smile, "I'm right here, silly."

"Are you?"

One question and Tom started to wonder if he should've kept his mouth shut, the hurt and confusion that immediately came over your face causing his heart to ache more than he thought was possible.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Y/n, you're sitting right in front me and I still feel like you're a million miles away."

You were speechless, not expecting those words to come out of his mouth.

"I, um, I don't know what you mean," you stammered out quickly, clearly lying.

Of course you knew what he meant, how could you not? A feeling of remorse flooded your body, you knew you'd been a bit distant, but you didn't know it'd been this bad or noticable.

It'd been so long since you really got to talk to Tom, both of you swamped with work and social lives, your paths barely crossed anymore. Before you knew it, your once amazing relationship, full of great communication, had been reduced to superficial and empty conversations.

"You don't? So nothing feels different between us right now?"

"I don't know what to say, Tom," you sat up, as if to get a better look at him, but you didn't meet his eyes, "Yes, something's different. Did you expect everything to be exactly the way you left it months ago?"

"No, I just," he ran his fingers through his hair, and you could tell he was choosing his words carefully, "I wish you cared more."

'Fuck,' it was like being punched in the gut. Tom meant the absolute world to you and for him to think you didn't care? It broke your heart.

"I care, Tom," you practically whispered, your voice full of sadness.

He didn't say a word, nodding instead, as if he wasn't convinced.

You sat in silence, for what felt like forever, just staring at everywhere but each other before Tom finally said something.

"Do you remember when you, Haz, Z, and I would get super drunk and stay up all night playing Mario Kart?"

You smiled, for a second you could almost imagine the four of you sitting on the couch, yelling and laughing, having the time of your lives, "As if I could ever forget, even drunk I could kick all of your asses.”

"That’s because you would always cheat!"

"I would not!"

Tom jokingly rolled his eyes, and for a moment the tension was gone. You were back to normal, all of your fears and worries ceased to exist. It was like you’d gone back to a time where things were simpler.

The illusion came crashing down the second you softly and very sadly said, "I miss those days."

Tom almost wanted to agree with you, to continue to remicine the past with you and go back to the feeling of ease the two of you had just seconds ago. Instead he asked, "What are we going to do?"

You didn't meet his eyes, "I don't know."

“I think I should stop working for a while, take some time off.”

For a moment, a part of you considered what that would mean. Tom would be home more often, you could actually see him, spend time with him. That was the same part of you that wanted to beg him to stay every time he had to leave. It was begging you to encourage him, telling you it’d be the perfect opportunity to rekindle your relationship.

Another part of you knew better though. It’d be selfish to ask Tom to flush all his hard work down the drain for you. You weren’t worth his career.

“No, absolutely not,” letting the latter side fuel you, “Babe, you can’t just stop working.”

“Why not?”

"You've worked so hard, I’m not going to let you throw that away for me."

'I'm not worth it,' is what your mind was practically yelling at him. You truly believed you weren't. You were just one person, how could you compare to the years of work and effort he'd put into his career?

"Do you love me?"

The question almost caught you off guard, of course you loved him, a lack of love for the man standing in front of you was definitely not the problem.

"More than anything."

"Then, please, angel, let me do this."

Tom had a look in eyes, one full of determination and you knew he had already made up his mind, but you couldn't help feeling like you had to convince him otherwise.

"Acting is your dream, Tom."

“No, you and I,” he motioned between the two of you, tears starting to well up in his eyes, “together. That’s my dream.”

"I don't want to lose you."

"Hey," you grabbed his face gently, using your thumbs to caress his face soothingly, wiping his tears away, "I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm not ready, baby, I'm not,” he choked on a sob, heavy tears falling freely down his face now.

You didn't say anything, you just wrapped your arms around him, holding him tight against your chest. You hoped your actions spoke the words you wanted to speak, but didn’t know how. You loved Tom more than anything and seeing him hurting, seeing your relationship fail first hand was killing you.

You started crying as the full extent of the situation finally hit you. Your relationship was failing. It was failing and you didn’t know what to do or how to fix it.

You felt like you couldn't breathe, like there was something heavy, crushing you. You were glad to have Tom there, his presence the only comfort you had at the moment.

You weren’t sure how long you stayed like that in each other’s arms, your sobs eventually turning to soft cries before stopping all together, finally letting you catch your breath.

Tom untangled himself from you, his puffy eyes meeting yours, "Can we go back to bed?"

"Of course, Tommy."

You wiped the remaining tears off his face, then the ones on your own, before grabbing his hand and gently leading him back to your room, back to your bed, back to where he belonged.

You climbed in right after him, immediately settling into your designated spot in his arms, your back against his chest, his arms wrapped around your waist. It was almost normal.

Silence engulfed you immediately, leaving only the sound of your soft breaths and the loud rain outside.

There was so much you wanted to say, but you were scared. Everything was falling apart right in front of your eyes and the thought of admitting it terrified you. Almost as much as the thought of losing Tom all together.

But you knew that if you didn’t speak up now, there might not be another opportunity to. There might not be a relationship left to save.

So, you worked up the courage to lace your fingers through his, holding onto him tightly because in some ways your life did depend on it and you whispered, "I'm not ready to wake up either."

Tagging: @fangirlwithasweettooth @bravest-at-heart @constellatinq @hoe-forharry @devildisguiseasangel @ravenclawmarvel @hollandsamor @cosmicholland @fairytaleparker @hollandsosterfield @now-imagine @officiallyunofficialperson @stealth-spiderr @xxxxdelenaxxxx @its-the-aerieljeane @petersstarcadet @babebenhardy @antoouu @lovinnholland @kxrtwxgner @sleepybesson @brookeelee98 @awkwardfangirl2014 @nedthegay @petersmparker @parkeroffline @snjms02 @the-queen-procrastinator @tomhollandsumbrella @spideyosterfield @thollandx @styles-balor4eva @80sthottie @marvelobsessedteenager @marshyrebelcloud @sixwyrxstuff @tomshufflepuff @jillanaholland @itscaminow @howdyherron @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh @undiadeestos

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druigsfavwitch · 5 years ago

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𝗜'𝗺 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲- 𝗠𝗮𝘁𝘁 𝗠𝘂𝗿𝗱𝗼𝗰𝗸

so, i'm going to be using this fluff prompt i found on Pinterest

today, i'm gonna use "I'll be here to protect you"

you guys can request prompts from here or any other prompts :)

Warning: angst, mentions of kidnapping, mentions of getting shot, sad!matt, hospitals (is that a warning?), fluff :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You can't remember the last time you felt scared for your life. Maybe once when you were little. You were learning to ride a bike and your parents pushed you off. You were pretty short so your feet couldn't exactly touch the pedals correctly. You were excited, steering the bike but then, the reality set in. You started to freak out and lost control of the bike. You started crying, screaming for your parents to save you. The bike went full speed towards the tree and crashed. You fell off the bike and screamed. Your mom was the first one over there. She picked you up and assessed your injuries. You managed to only escape with a scraped knee and elbow, but after, you refused to ride a bike for 2 years.

That was the last time you had truly been scared. Being a defense lawyer, you can't show fear. Your friends seem to think that you're pretty badass. You work with your boyfriend Matt and Foggy.

At first, you went against Matt in a case and he admired your determination. After the case, which he won, he asked you if you would be interested in working at his firm. At first, you said no, but after him asking a few more times, you agreed and left your firm to work with him.

At first, it seemed like a normal job, you had new friends, saved people, normal lawyer things, but after a while, Matt started acting weird. He would avoid talking to you unless he absolutely had to. Every time you would try to talk to him, he would respond with one word answers. One day, you confronted him.

"Matt, what's up with you? You're like ignoring me." He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Do you hate me? Because, I could gladly go find another place to work." He raised his hands. "Y/n, I don't hate you. It's quite the opposite actually. I really like you. I just didn't want to ruin the work life we have." You smiled and sighed. "Thank god. I actually like this job and I would've been very upset." You both laughed. Then, you got the balls to walk up to him and kissed him. He kissed back.

As your relationship progressed, so did the danger. You found out pretty soon into your relationship that he was the masked vigilante everyone liked to talk about. Most of them didn't know his identity let alone where he lived, but he always had the fear that one day, they would find out and take you as punishment. Boy, was he right.

It was a short work day. Matt had stopped by foggy's place to talk about some work stuff. You had gotten dinner along the way home from you guy's favorite Chinese takeout place. You were walking to the apartment door. You unlocked it with the key Matt gave you a while ago when you moved in and placed the food on the counter, taking your shoes off along the way. The last thing you remember is feeling a cloth over your mouth and you passing out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After Matt had returned home from foggy's, he expected you to be in the living room, watching tv, with your feet propped up on the coffee table, like you did every night. What he was greeted with instead was an eerie silence. He tried to listen for your heart. You could have just fell asleep and moved to the bed, or you could be getting out of the shower. When he didn't hear your heartbeat, his anxiety rose. He walked to the kitchen and found the Chinese food, which by then had gone cold. He knew something happened to you and he knew exactly who it was.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you woke up, you were tied to a chair. Your ankles and wrists were bound, making it impossible for you to break free. Your mouth had a cloth in it, presumably to mask your screaming so you weren't found. You knew exactly why you were kidnapped. The men Matt caught weren't exactly good men. They were terrible men. Kingpin is among the worst. His men would kill innocent people for money or anything. They were ruthless.

You were pulled out of your thoughts when you saw a big, chubby man walk into the warehouse you were kept in. He had on a white suit and carried a cane. You only guessed that this was the infamous kingpin.

"Well, hello there. I'm sure you know who I am." He waited a few seconds for you to shake your head or give him any kind of response at all. You kept your face as straight as you could and didn't mumble a word. His face straightened from his wicked smile to a devious frown. "Hey, I'm talking to you! And when I talk, I expect an answer." He walked over and slapped your cheek. Your head snapped to the right, your cheek stinging.

You looked up at him white no changed expression. He narrowed his eyes. "He's not coing to save you. I know that's what your counting on, but don't. He won't make it. By the time he gets here, you'll be dead." Those words were the ones that caused the flashbacks of every horrifying event in your life. The first time you rode a bike and this one seemed to be tied for the worst thing ever. You could very much die on the dirty warehouse floor and Matt could live in gulf forever, never even knowing what happened to you. That sent your adrenaline into over drive. You had to stay alive. For Matt.

When he walked closer, you managed to kick you leg free and kick him where the sun doesn't shine. He doubled over in pain while you tried to get up and get out of there. He looked up at you in sheer anger, seeing you trying to escape. He walked over and stepped on your kneecap, breaking it and causing you to scream as loud as you could with the cloth in. He then grabbed his cane and beat you with it for a solid 20 minutes. By the time he was done, you were sure you were dead. Your face looked terrible and your ribs were probably all broken but he wasn't done yet. He untied you and picked you up by your throat, limiting your air supply. Just as he lifted your feet up off the ground, Matt came barreling in, taking down the security kingpin had set you. Kingpin was quick to grab a gun from a fallen soldier and hold it to your temple.

"Well, look who it is. We're having a party that you seemed to have crashed." Matt looked at you in pure fear. He saw how fucked up you looked and how much pain you were in. He couldn't stand to watch. "Let her go, this is between me and you." Kingpin laughed. "Then why fall in love? Why burden her with all your demons? Huh? This is no longer between you and me. It's between the three of us now, and you're about to experience true heartbreak." He went to pull the trigger but matt was quick enough to grab a staff and throw it at the gun, lowering the angle, but not stopping the bullet. You screamed out in pain while kingpin dropped you to take care of Matt. Matt was quick to knock him out and tie him up. Then, he turned his attention on you. "Hey, hey, i'm here now y/n! I'm gonna get you help, you just have to keep your eyes open." You tried to look at him but everything was so blurry and it hurt. "I'm so tired." You slurred. He slapped your cheek in a effort to keep you awake but the last thing you heard was Matt screaming at you to stay awake.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next thing you remember is the beeping of something. At first you thought it was your alarm and that the whole ordeal was a dream but when you couldn't move to press snooze, you knew it was true and the beeping was the heart monitor.

You managed to open your eyes but immediately closed them again. The light was too bright. You opened them slowly and scoped out the room. It was pretty ordinary, bed, chairs, everything a normal hospital has. You looked next to you and saw Matt sleeping. You could tell by his eyes he had been crying. Just then, a doctor slowly walked in and saw you awake. He gave you a small smile. "Well, look who's awake. You're very lucky. The bullet missed your heart by 3 inches. You could've died." He gave you instructions on how to get the nurse to help you use the restroom and so on. When he left, you heard Matt clear his throat. You looked over and saw him getting up. "Hi." You muttered. Your voice sounded horrible from the screaming. "Hi." He said back. He took your hand in his and raised it to his mouth, kissing it. "I'm so sorry." He said, his voice breaking. "I should've never dragged you into this. This is all my fault." You sighed and kissed his hand. "It's not your fault and I would never blame you, ever. I'm right here." He looked at you. "But you almost died. I heard your heart stop. I thought I lost you." He confessed. You smiled and grabbed his face. "I'm right here and I always will be." He smiled and spoke back to you. "I'll be here to protect you. Always and forever."

A/n: what did you guys think? :)

#matt murdock x reader #x reader #avengers #marvel x reader #marvel daredevil #daredevil x reader

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

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Jac & Savannah

Jac: Feel totally free to ignore this, and this isn't an attempt to further any more conversation between us again if you don't want it, but it would feel bizarre to pretend...well, that we hadn't known each other before, or that I'd forgotten you entirely, so Jac: Obviously things weren't great when you left but I'm fully over that as no doubt you are too Jac: As we're classmates again, it makes sense to me that we are civil and prepared to work together if necessary but I'm not going to attempt more than that, nor am I holding some kind of grudge which would prohibit the former, I thought I'd reassure you of that, as well as just say, hello, I suppose 🙂 Savannah: You're right, it would be bizarre as well as counterproductive Savannah: though, we don't actually know each other any more, two formative years having passed, so I don't see why we can't start over Savannah: treating each other like we would our other classmates Jac: That sounds logical to me too Jac: I'd be happy to treat this as an introduction opposed to a reintroduction Savannah: okay Savannah: but before we do, I just want to say I'm really proud of you for getting in Jac: You too Jac: it's amazing, isn't it Jac: better than we had even visualized and worked and prayed for Savannah: I always knew you could do it Jac: I had no doubts about you, either Jac: potential that you'd changed your course and vision but whatever you put your mind and talent to Savannah: I did think you'd go to Bath, or that I would Jac: I could lie here and say something about preferring the history and culture of Edinburgh as a city, and finding St Andrews better in X Y Z but Jac: Bath didn't happen, is the reality of it Jac: but I'm not devastated, as I once would've been to be left with my 2nd choice Savannah: We don't have to lie, it didn't happen for me either, partly because catholic school did of course, but that's not the entirety of it Jac: I try to leave lying, however innocuous and pointless, two years ago, too Jac: Karma or otherwise, just stopped feeling worth it Jac: how was your new School? Savannah: A lot of things stopped feeling worth it to me too Savannah: Oh, Sienna liked it Savannah: I did not Jac: I am sorry to hear that Jac: I can't think of anything I would've liked less than being surrounded by other hormonal, crazy, moody, bitchy teenage girls either Savannah: at least she thrived, you wouldn't even recognise her now Savannah: she's so Savannah: Loud Jac: 😂 Jac: Loud can be good Jac: at least some positives came of it all Savannah: she reminds me of how I remember Jude Savannah: but she's happy, I think Jac: I think you'd still have recognized Jude Jac: likely from a mile off, giving you time to escape Jac: I hope she is Savannah: 😄 Jac: and that you'll be happier here than you were there, too Savannah: unless either of my parents enrol, we can take that as a given Jac: I'll drink to that Jac: complimentary coffee, that is Savannah: for now anyway Jac: Hopefully the plans get a little more exciting Savannah: 🙌 Jac: Have you heard any Psych school nights being organized or do you think one of us should bite that bullet and start the group chat? Savannah: we should do it Savannah: best foot forward, you know? Jac: Absolutely Jac: Why not, eh Jac: You're in halls too, right? Savannah: Yes Savannah: where are you? Jac: John Burnet, how about you? Savannah: You only get a single bed too! Savannah: I'm in University Hall Savannah: it's so pretty Jac: The nuns taught you well then 😛 Jac: I think it's worth it for the architecture, we'll just have to remember not to roll Savannah: 👼🏾🙏🏾 Savannah: It wasn't worth ANOTHER argument with my dad about co-ed Jac: and you get to have the Libraries literally right on your doorstep Jac: I was debating it, but I'm still better in smaller crowds, that sold JB to me ultimately Savannah: if my dad didn't run my life I totally would've applied there too Savannah: I love that it has a garden Jac: I know, right? Jac: Well you can use my little patch of 🌷 🌹 🌺 🌸 🌼 🌻 whenever you like, because I'll certainly be haunting the libraries enough Savannah: You haven't lost any of your sweetness Savannah: & of course you must, I hate studying alone Jac: I'll probably be tragically uncool forever, our classmates may as well find out sooner rather than later 💁 Jac: if the sight of all those books gets too much, there's always the 🏖 for maximum studying, I'm sure Savannah: No way! I had more fun with you than I've had with anyone else EVER Savannah: they'll find all your good points Jac: 😊 Jac: Okay, we did have some fun Savannah: a lot Jac: I can't/shan't disagree with that Savannah: it doesn't feel like two years Savannah: sometimes more like twenty, or like two months Jac: It is really weird, I felt like I haven't said it because it can't be overstated Jac: but good weird Jac: are any of your friends from Sligo here too? Jac: I don't know anyone Savannah: I don't know anyone either Jac: A familiar face is a good thing Jac: as is getting to know each other afresh, they can coexist Savannah: I thought it was for the best that nobody followed me here, until I saw you Jac: Shocking as it was Jac: glad the 😱 isn't permanent Jac: I'd hate to do that to you, honestly Savannah: you don't believe I could pull it off? Jac: Of course you could Jac: but your 😄 is undeniably a better look Savannah: my lips ARE very big, I could end up looking like a blow up doll if I'm forever open mouthed from today onwards Savannah: then I'd never marry a prince Jac: Why we're here, obviously Savannah: Everyone thinks so Savannah: just because my boyfriend dumped me after the leavers cert Jac: Oof Jac: that's rough Jac: though at least he didn't steal your Summer? I guess Savannah: Oh my god! That's exactly what he said Savannah: no wonder he reminded me of you Jac: Oh God 😬 are you suggesting I should be in Sallies with the rest of the fuckboys? 😂 Jac: not the crowd I was hoping to get in with but, you know Savannah: where you are is perfect for you Jac: 🤞 Savannah: it feels right being here Jac: Yeah Jac: it really does Savannah: I was worried I wouldn't feel that when I actually got here but 🙏🏾 Jac: I thought it'd be scarier being away from home Jac: but if anything, it's a relief Savannah: you don't have to share a room with Jude any more, it obviously would be Savannah: how is everyone though? Jac: 🍵🙊 Jac: No, they're good, all doing their own thing Jac: Jesse's got his music, the kids are the same old Jac: oh, Jameson got a girlfriend though, that's cute Savannah: I can't believe one brother is literally famous and the other is adorably loved up Savannah: Sienna hasn't had a boyfriend yet, I think that's my fault Jac: Honestly, they're both unbearable now 😏 Jac: overprotective big sister vibes or off-putting dumping ex? Savannah: Jesse was always an acquired taste, which I never did Savannah: Oh, both, for sure 🤫 Jac: Musically and personality-wise, he'd agree you have a point Jac: long as she's happy, like you said Jac: always found them too distracting myself Savannah: I suppose I just always needed a distraction Jac: Clearly, that's why we aren't having this conversation in Bath Jac: for the best, in the end 🌌🔮 Savannah: I hope so Jac: Honestly, it's a better uni Jac: and I'm not just lying to myself/you to make us feel better 😂 Jac: Delia Rockford, you remember her, right? Jac: She got into Bath, so, you aren't missing out, is what I mean Savannah: I hate her Jac: She's doing International Management and German Jac: the language of the future 🤨 Savannah: She's German descent! That's basically cheating Jac: You'd think she's got a place at Cambridge studying classics the way she's been bragging Jac: they aren't remotely top in languages or whatever the hell International Management is but alright 🙄 Savannah: I'm so glad she blocked me after what happened during the party at Michelle Brennan's house Savannah: which wasn't even my fault Jac: Now that feels like a million years ago Savannah: It was Savannah: I don't think we were even friends yet Jac: We weren't for that long, in the grand scheme of things Jac: that's the weirdest part Jac: we were pretty intense, yeah Savannah: everything was pretty intense Jac: It was Jac: Isabelle is doing coaching at TUD Jac: we were never really the same but she's well in herself Savannah: She'll be incredible at that Savannah: if it had happened to me, there's no way I would've not been retaking the year Jac: I know Savannah: did you hear about my mum? Jac: No, I don't think I did? Savannah: she'll appreciate it not being common knowledge, I guess Jac: Is she okay? Savannah: She's doing better now Savannah: which I suppose means she's at about the same level as she was before I left Savannah: because she really struggled after Jac: It must've been really hard for her Jac: to have you two gone, and realize it probably was for the best Jac: did you see her much, in these two years? Savannah: not as much as I should've Jac: You can't be blamed for that Jac: you had to take care of yourself, and Sienna Savannah: but she needed me to stay Jac: Maybe she needed to sort herself out Jac: and she's getting there Jac: our parents shouldn't be our responsibility Savannah: It has to work out here, you know? Savannah: I can't go back Jac: Of course it will Jac: you're going to be fine, amazing Jac: and then you can do your masters and your Ph.D. and then marry a prince and you'll have several royal residences, neither of which will be in Dubo or Sligo Savannah: I'm just sick of things being painful, difficult is fine, but I want it not to hurt Savannah: which is a HUGE overshare if we met today Jac: it's cool Jac: I hear everyone is best friends for life fresher's week Savannah: that makes me feel a lot better Savannah: especially when I pause to consider how many of them I'm likely to cry on before it's over Jac: It's basically tradition Jac: you won't be the only one Jac: moving forward, it's bound to make you think more about what you're leaving behind, even if temporarily Savannah: I've missed you Savannah: sorry if that's like leaping over a boundary or something Jac: I wouldn't have bet on that being what you said, should I ever see you again Jac: but it's better than what I would've Savannah: It's not like this with anyone else Savannah: I can't change that Jac: I never really Jac: like I went out, people would talk to me, I'm not trying to sell a sob story here Jac: but you're right Jac: it was never the same with anyone else, not remotely Savannah: I've given you mine already, so if you have one, it's okay to tell it or not Savannah: even if I'm so embarrassed I did that Jac: Seriously, no need Jac: you were there to witness my unfinest hour Jac: I treated lots of people like shit Jac: Is, mainly Jac: but you too, in lots of ways Jac: not proud of it, but I changed, still am, hopefully Savannah: I hope you don't change too much though Jac: Yeah? Savannah: I thought you were perfect how you were Jac: And I'm the sweet one Savannah: we both made mistakes, but that's human Jac: It's been a while since anyone's accused me of being human Jac: all those exams Jac: 🤖 felt more fitting Savannah: & you look so 👼🏻 Jac: You look as flawless as you ever did Savannah: My auntie mailed all her good skincare to Sligo Jac: expect no less 🙌 Savannah: the fresher air was 🙌 Savannah: even if the rural accents took me by surprise Jac: 😵 or 🥴 surprise though? Savannah: not like 😊 😋 😍 😘 🥰 Jac: the accent here is pretty 🤭 Jac: though Savannah: which one? 😄 Jac: Valid Jac: very town VS gown Savannah: which one though? Savannah: tell me Jac: The original Savannah: very Romeo & Juliet of you Jac: Oh no Jac: am I that cliche now? Savannah: we'll see Jac: Sounds slightly concerning Jac: but I'll do my best to subvert expectations Savannah: it'll be concerning if you get distracted by some boy's accent after working this hard to get here Savannah: unless he's a prince, obviously Jac: Not changed that much Jac: I'd get disowned if I married royalty, anyway Savannah: 🚫💍👰 Savannah: just adorable heirs to the throne Savannah: 👶👶👶👶👶 Jac: adorable, illegitimate bastards ❤ Savannah: yes Savannah: or is that another cliche? Jac: Probably Jac: although if we are educated, career women now, any babies is beating expectations Savannah: except not really because every career woman is also determined to become a mother & prove she can have it all Jac: 🚫👶 it is then Jac: maybe a dissertation topic, at any rate Savannah: 😢 Jac: 👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾 Jac: many as you like Savannah: they all need best friends Savannah: you have to stick to the plan Jac: Can I get through freshers first? Savannah: 🤞🏾 Jac: Please, I'm no amateur Savannah: I hope not, I'm single & the point is we do it at the same time Jac: as am I Jac: not feeling any 1st year that hard, thanks 😏 Savannah: you always date older, it's fine Jac: None of our lecturers were the one Jac: another cliche avoided Savannah: I'm not sad about that Jac: There's enough inequality of power about without actively seeking out the dynamic, agreed Savannah: ^^ Jac: the fashion show seems to have got the diversity memo though Jac: could be cool Savannah: it's going to be the highlight, I can feel it Jac: 😄 Jac: I was thinking Tues for our psych night, as nothing much is really going on Jac: what do you think? Savannah: good idea Jac: 👍 Savannah: I'll start the chat if you want Jac: You were always better at talking Savannah: when it's not that important, but when it matters, you always know exactly what to say Savannah: at least to me Jac: You're easy to talk to Jac: in a way I really could never work out Savannah: There's nobody in my life right now who would agreed with that Savannah: so it must be you Jac: my inbox full of unreads would say otherwise but Jac: I'll take it Savannah: okay, it's us together Savannah: does that make you happier? Jac: Better Savannah: your hair got really long Savannah: I'm BEYOND jealous Jac: You've got no reason to be jealous of any other girl in the world Savannah: you're not any other girl in the world Savannah: 🤫🤫 Jac: 😶 Jac: Promise Savannah: it looks beautiful, I can't cope Jac: My 😳 will not Savannah: 💗 Savannah: 🌷 🌺 🌸 Jac: Is that a dress code? Savannah: well NOW it is Jac: 😂 Jac: My wardrobe can accomodate Jac: cheers for the heads up Savannah: you're welcome Savannah: & we're all set until 💬 Jac: I better let you get on then Savannah: was it that good of a conversation starter? Jac: Solid Jac: will scare off anyone 😱 of 💗 🌷 🌺 🌸 Savannah: well I obviously don't need that negativity in my life Savannah: but I didn't mean to end this conversation Jac: We don't have to Jac: What are your plans for the rest of the day, now the obligatory are over? Savannah: don't judge me, because I know I sound like a different person, but I haven't made any Jac: Thank God, me neither Jac: I didn't know how long any of that would take Jac: nor unpacking, which is technically done but that says nothing about the decorating I wanna do Savannah: I could help Jac: Or, slightly more fair, we could check out the town, see what shops are about? Savannah: I'd like that Jac: Cool 🙂 Jac: let's have half an hour to debrief and make sure we don't look 😱 and then head out? Savannah: okay Savannah: you can put your hair up & save my life Jac: oh 🤫 Savannah: I am serious Savannah: 🚗 🚕 🚲 are distraction enough Jac: You could rock a cast Jac: but I won't let it happen Savannah: what would you write on it? Jac: That's a good 🧊breaker Jac: but I'll have to keep that secret for now Savannah: if I ask everyone on Tuesday, will you tell me then? Jac: It's a deal Savannah: it is

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comeliashawnae · 7 years ago

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A fictional story Inspired by Logic's 18002738255 music video

So….. I was 18 when I came out… Not really came out, more like my mother walking in on me and my “friend.”

It was 2 weeks before high school graduation, and she was not the first friend I had sleep over.

The day before was so incredibly normal. It was a Saturday, and my friend and I hung out at the mall most of the day. She got some hoop earrings and shoes, I got a couple of shirts and a bracelet. I asked my parents if she could stay over, they said fine.

My parents had no idea I was gay. I wasn’t a girly girl, but I wasn’t a tomboy either. I definitely glammed up when I felt like it. But hair tied, sweats on, with no make up on was also a fav. I’m definitely what you call the in between, I played softball hardcore, but I also loved watching real housewives.

Being an only child I was the best of both worlds for my parents. I was the daughter who loved shoe shopping with mom, and the girl who can watch sports with dad cuz she knows the difference between a field goal and a grand slam. I had a great childhood because of that. I have very loving parents. Still didn’t stop that wow factor though.

After shopping my friend and I got to my house, ordered pizza, watched some movies. Normal things teenage girls do.

We had been some what “dating” but nothing official. She asked where she was sleeping, I told her my bed was fine. I had mastered keeping quiet when friends came over.

My friend and I had started making out once we got to my bedroom. This wasn’t our first kiss, but it was our first time taking it past that. With each other anyway. My room and my parents room were on opposites end of the hall, so a little music helped mask whatever sounds we couldn’t help get out. We went further than either of us expected too, and then fell asleep in each others arms. Was it love, or teenage lust?

Think I’ll go with the second one. Yeah that sounds right, just pure teenage lust. Hormones raging and we just got caught up in the moment. Thats the answer I have for that now, did not have that answer that morning when my mother opened that door.....

Morning came, it was probably 8, sometimes we go to church, but since I had a friend over I figured we weren’t. I was right, I just didn’t think my parents were gonna order breakfast for us. They had woken up early and my dad left to get the food and my mom had come to ask what we wanted.

I was half awake and on fence if I should've woke my friend up before my parents or just wait five more minutes since it was Sunday morning. Should’ve gotten up five minutes earlier. I thought they’d sleep in til 10 and my friend would have had time to get dressed and hide any evidence. But I just laid there in my own world, thinking I could hide forever. I guess that was a sign from the universe to stop hiding. I had no choice when I heard my mother’s voice. When I heard that door open I just knew it was over.

Its like time stood still for those few moments. My mom walked in and said “morning girls” and just paused….

My friend awoke from her deep sleep and just stared at my mom. The look on my mother’s face was…I can't even really describe it.

Stunned. Absolutely stunned.

It felt like she was standing there forever, when it was probably just a few seconds. No words were said, she just shut the door.

I looked at my friend, she looked back at me then turned to grab some clothes. Not really sure if they were hers or mines, just saw her throw on a shirt and pants grab her bags and rush out the door. My mother was still there when my friend opened it. They looked at each other for a second before she bolted to the front door. I was still sitting in my bed when mom looked back at me. I looked at the floor and saw a shirt and shorts. I grabbed them and, keeping myself completely covered as possible, put them on. I didn't look at her the entire time she stood there, I couldn't. I sat there on the edge of the bed and slowly started rocking back and forth with my hands wrapped around myself. I could feel her eyes burning into the top of my head. What was there to say?

Like I said, if my friend wasn't there we would have gone to church. We're not overly religious, and I wasn't doing anything to rebel against religion. We were very involved in the church, we did bake sales, Halloween parties, Christmas plays. We loved our church family. My parents weren't judgmental towards anyone. But still, I didn't know what their reaction would be, and I definitely didn't want them to find out this way.

After what felt like hours of her standing there, she walked back into my room. I was still staring at the floor, rocking back and forth.

"Can you look at me?" She finally said. I slowly raised my head and looked at her. I can't describe the look she gave me, I just know I started crying the second I saw her face. I looked away and just cried. Through the tears I saw her feet come closer to me. I felt her sit down next to me and place her arm around me.

"Sweetie, please stop crying" she said softly. I tried to stop but couldn't. She patted me and pulled me closer. Then I heard my father come in.

"What's wrong?" He asked, standing at my doorway. I finally stopped crying and looked at him. I opened my mouth, but words couldn't come out.

"Our daughter is gay." My mother said simply.

"Really?" He said with just a look. Not of disappointment, more surprise. Yeah he was really, really, surprised.

"Well....ok" he said.

"Yeah" said my mother still patting my shoulder, "Yeah."

"So.....are we going to eat breakfast now or?" He asked.

"Yeah I'm starving" Mom said. She pulled her arm from around me and grabbed my hand. "Come on honey,"

With tears still in my eyes I followed them to the kitchen. We sat at the table and started eating. I still had not said a word. Dad stared for a second, Mom stared, they stared at each other. I just tried eating, even though I had no appetite.

"So," my dad said hitting the table. Mom and I jumped. "Sorry, just a little surprised."

"You're telling me," mom said. I put my fork down and just stared at my plate.

"Look," dad said "We're your parents and we love you. You're the greatest gift your mother has ever given me. You're the greatest gift I've given her. You are our world."

I nodded. Still staring at my plate.

"When did this all start?" Mom asked.

Oh that question had me so scared. I almost cried again.

"Baby don't cry" she said softly. There was a pause. Do they really want to hear the truth or do they want to hear what they think they should hear. Before I could even give myself a real answer the words left my mouth

"At a party when I was 14," I said still looking at my plate. I took a deep breath and finally looked up.

"An older girl started flirting with me. But that wasn't what did it. When I was 11 and everybody was talking about the latest boy bands and I was still looking at the female singers closer than I needed too I knew something wasn't right with me. That party when I was 14 just confirmed it."

"There's nothing wrong with you." mom said. "Like your father said, we're your parents and we love you. No matter who you decide to love."

Still teary-eyed I had a big smile of relief on my face.

"This explains why you never brought a boy over." Said dad. "Which is too bad because I had that all planned in my head the second the doctor said it's a girl."

Mom and I let out some giggles.

"But seriously," he said "No more sleepovers, OK?"

"Yes sir" I said.

"Well, at least we know she'll never get pregnant when she goes to college." Said mom.

"Yeah, so many upsides." Laughed dad. He got up from his chair and hugged me.

"I love you, honey."

"I love you too, daddy."

Two weeks later I graduated high school, a couple of months after that I started college. New city, fresh start, I was finally able to be me.

I guess I'm what you call the lucky one. My parents didn't threaten to kick me out or disown me. They just loved me because I'm their daughter.

I can't believe that was 10 years ago. Here I am now at 28 years old, in a happy relationship. In a happy marriage.

My wife had asked for my parents blessing. My father, proudly, walked me down the aisle. We just adopted our first child, a handsome baby boy. My mother is so happy to be a grandmother and my father is happy to, finally, have a little boy in his life.

I know all stories don't have a happy ending, but I'm hoping mines help someone.

It's still better to come out versus keeping it in. I kept myself in the closet for so long. At 11 years old I knew I was different, but I also knew I needed to keep my mouth shut because I knew it was wrong. From a 11 to 14 I tried to play along, but I just didn't like boys. Then that faithful night a girl kissed me for the first time and that was it. So for four long years I kept every relationship, every girlfriend a secret from parents. Seven years I was never my true self. My teen years were harder because I had such a big secret.

But once they came out. Once I came out, life got better.

For everyone still hiding, it gets better.

#fiction #gaylivesmatter #gaymarriage #lovewins #loveismyreligion #loveislove #writing #writers #fictional story #itgetsbetter #homosexuality #gay #storytelling

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