#because I almost forgot I let myself be lazy with the quote lol. anyway a character of all time

[karouvas]

Crazy Ex Girlfriend appreciation week Day 1

Favorite character: Rebecca Nora Bunch

“I have no underlying issues to address.”

[buckys-other-punk]

No Air

Steve x Reader

Summary: Reader and Steve were dating for a long time until he decided to break things off with her because he felt like he was being suffocated. 

Warnings: cuss words, angst, jealousy, and depression (I don't know what else) 

Word Count: 1,423

A/N: Hello! Sorry I haven’t written in a while life has been interesting yet stressful, but I am trying to push myself into writing again because I miss it. Special thanks to @stuckonjbbarnes for letting my enter her 250 Writing Challenge, if you don’t already follower her please do because she is an awesome and amazing writer. Anyways please let me know if you wanna be tagged (or off this tag) and feedback is very much appreciated! Also this is unedited like always because I’m to lazy to quadruple check my work...

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air?

“I don’t get why he has to be all touchy feely with you when I’m standing right next to you?!” Steve yelled slamming the door as you both entered your shared apartment.

You huffed with a hand over your forehead replying, “Steve I’ve told you this before me and Wesley are just coworkers. There’s no need for you to act up!” 

“You don’t get it Y/N, I don’t want to see some guy being so close to my girlfriend.” he yelled back with his hands in the air.

“STEVE, Wesley is harmless!” you yelled back dropping you purse onto the couch. 

“How am I supposed to know that he is harmless and whatever. What if his main purpose to get close to you is to fuck you?!” he said following your trail loosening his tie.

“He’s fucking gay Steve!” you yelled at him walking over to the kitchen.

“Fuck that he was trying to cop a feel Y/N! I saw it with my own eyes!” he exclaimed, walking towards the counter.

“Steve nothing is going on between me and Wesley for the thousandth time.” you said sighing rubbing your temples as a migraine starts to form.

“I find that hard to believe Y/N. You’re always getting home late from work because of all these quote un quote meetings with your team.” he says while using air quotes.

“Steve what the fuck am I suppose to do then? Huh? Quit my job and stay at home doing nothing with my life?” you yelled at your boyfriend.

“Peggy would have stayed done that.” he said under his breath thinking you wouldn’t her him.

“The fuck did you just say?” you looked at him dead in the eye. “Are you comparing me to your ex-girlfriend AGAIN, Steve?” he looked up at you with anger in his eyes.

“You know what, yes. You fucking heard me right Y/N.” He replied quickly to you fuming. “You’re always too fucking clingy when you get home from wherever you go. It's like I’m being suffocated by you. I can’t breathe whenever you’re near me.” he yelled staring at you.

Tears forming in your eyes and you refuse to let them fall down as you stare at the man you love. You look down at the counter in defeat and look back to him. Taking a deep breath you walk away from him to your room and gather all the necessary belongings you need. Steve still enraged looks at you and follows in your footsteps.

If I should die before I wake

It's 'cause you took my breath away

Losing you is like living in a world with no air, oh

“What the fuck are you doing?” he asks with a strong tone.

“I’m leaving Steve because I can’t take this anymore. You accuse me of being what was it, oh right, clingy and you’re always comparing me to your beloved ex. So why don’t you call her and I'll leave you two be. How does that sound?” you yell at him finally gathering all your stuff and trying to wipe away the tears that have fallen down your face. You exit the bedroom walking towards the main door.

“Fine go then. I don’t need you.” Steve yells as he stops following you and sits on the couch staring at the blank TV screen.

“Fuck you Steve Rogers. I hope you have a happy life.” you yell while slamming the front door walking away from your once beloved apartment.

The sound of the door echoes throughout the entire apartment and that's what set Steve back into reality. What the fuck did I just do. He says to himself looking at his hands.

I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave

My heart won't move, it's incomplete

Is there a way I could make you understand?

“I fucked up Bucky” Steve said through the phone rubbing his temples.

“Steve, breathe. Just call (Y/N) back in the morning. Let her sleep it off.” Bucky replied to his friend.

“Fine. Whatever.” Steve said. “I’ll text you later.” he sighed and laid in his bed thinking of how upset he made you.

But how

Do you expect me, to live alone with just me?

'Cause my world revolves around you

It's so hard for me to breathe

*a month later*

Steve was a mess. He was trying to keep his cool around his friends, but on the inside he felt empty. Whenever his friends would ask about (Y/N) he kept to himself saying that the two of you weren’t meant to be, but that was a lie. He knew it was a lie. Right after you left he felt like his world collapsed. He felt so stupid mentioning Peggy yet another time. He knew whenever he talked about her that you would always get pissed off. Steve knew what ticked you off the most and used that against you. He fucked up hard. He felt like he was actually suffocating because you weren’t there with him. You were his world and fucked up so much. Why did I have to be such a dick? He said to himself.

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air?

Can't live, can't breathe with no air

That's how I feel whenever you ain't there

There's no air, no air

*seven months later*

Steve was an even bigger mess than before. He isolated himself in his apartment still torn by the fact that he never called or texted you right after the fight. How could I be so stupid? He said over and over to himself. He knew he should stop thinking about you. He was the one that broke your heart. He was the one that fucked up. Bucky had been calling and texting him for the past months. Steve never answered and didn’t want to talk. It wasn’t until Bucky came to Steve’s apartment to checkup on his friend. Luckily he has a spare key just in case Steve forgot his. Bucky saw how trashed and gloomy Steve's apartment was. 

“Shit. Steve?” Bucky said looking for his friend. Maneuvering around the mess walking towards his friend’s room. “Steve? You in there?” he asked while knocking on the door. No answer. He knocked again. “I’m coming in man. You better not be naked.” he joked pushing the closed door. He saw his friend covered in layers of blankets. “Fuck. Steve you gotta get up man.” No reply. “Right, well don’t let this get to you punk. Just please get out of here once in a while. It's too dark and depressing here. Get some fresh air.” Still no answer. “Well I’ll see you around Steve.” Bucky said as he exited the apartment.

Steve sighed as he sat up in his bed. Bucky was right, his life seemed life a mess. He should get out of the stupid apartment. He went into his bathroom and stared at his reflection. Man he looked like shit. He sighed staring at himself and turned around to turn on his shower. 

After he made himself look more presentable than usual he walked to one of the nearby restaurants. Actually he went to the one that you cherished the most since they had the best waffles in all of Brooklyn. While walking to the small restaurant he passed a fancy one that he almost took you to. He looked through the windows and saw something. Someone. (Y/N). You were sitting at a table wearing an elegant dress, smiling at the person next to you. You looked like you were shining, you seemed so happy. You seemed happy. The man who was next to you grabbed your hand and smiled. His blue eyes staring at you with adoration and brought your hand to his lips giving it a gentle kiss. Steve stared at the two of you with tears in his eyes. You and your date (A/N: alright the man is Henry Cavill because i’ve been obsessed with the Witcher and oof him shirtless my lord. alright back to the story) looked so in love and peaceful. Steve couldn’t top that when he was with you. He couldn’t be the man you wanted him to be. He couldn’t be the one who would protect you, shelter you, love you. He wanted to do those things when he was with you. He tried his best to do all these things for you, but his stupid mouth got in the way. He hurt you. He drew you away. He made you leave. He needed to leave. He needed to not see you. So he ran.

I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew right off

The ground and float to you

There's no gravity to hold me down, for real

He ran to the nearest bridge sitting on the edge. Tears slipping down his face. He couldn’t take it anymore. The pain was unbearable. He just wanted to stop feeling so empty, so alone, so alone. He looked down at the water staring at the reflection of the sky and himself. He wanted the pain to end. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Standing up and crossing over the railing, he leaned over the edge. One breath in. One breath out. He let go. He let go of everything. All of his emotions towards you, everyone else and himself. He let go of trying to love you, trying to forgive himself, trying to forget you. He let go and there was darkness.

Got me here out in the water so deep

Tell me how you goin' be without me?

If you ain't here I just can't breathe

There's no air, no air

A/N: so sorry for that lol. I’m thinking of making this a mini series possibly so a second part will come sometime in the future showing the readers POV. I don't know who wanted to be tagged so I just put those who were on my previous tags...Anyways if you wanna be tagged let me know and I’ll add you! 

Tags: @sebtheromanianprince  @aquabrie @amour-quinn @anbrax5553​ @kitkatd7 @mr-skyline-r34 @carabarnes13 @pdy93 @lostinthoughtsandfeelings​ @httpmarvel @who-the-hell-is-sebastianstan @princess76179

[misha-has-a-wormstache]

A Bit About Me

I wrote a post over the summer basically telling my story, but I’ve made a lot of friends on here and felt I should share a few of these things again and a bit more (I also can’t find the original post lol). 

I’m a bastard child, which is the term used for a child born to parents who aren’t married. They didn’t get married for a bit, but their marriage didn’t last long. Before I went to Kindergarten they got a divorce and my biological mother moved to another state. Not long after my dad met my step-mother. 

We moved a lot as well, so it’s surprising to me if I stay in a house for more than three years. Each time I lost the friends I made. There was a point where I kept the ‘friends’ at school but left the ones around the house. I could hardly call them friends since I only saw one of them outside of school. 

During the time, I was starting to question my sexuality without really knowing what was going on. 

I left that school in 5th grade and moved to another town where I stayed there for maybe three or four years. I immediately became very close friends with my neighbor and throughout the years they stayed my best friend. They were the kind of friend where we were basically inseparable and I stuck by them during the two or three days they were home with pneumonia. We weren’t blood-related, but we were family. They helped introduce me to more people who became my friends. 

It wasn’t until I met my friend, who now goes by they/them, that I learned about gender identity. I’m not sure if I would have known if it weren’t for them and I wouldn’t have understood for myself what I am. 

Unfortunately, at the same time, I was being almost non-stop teased and bullied at school. At first it was because I was the new kid and was easy prey. Then it was because of how sensitive I am and they would intentionally upset me to get a reaction. It started small until it escalated at the end of middle school. I was being forced to move to a neighboring state and leave all and any friends I made there. Whenever they got the chance they would ask me out as a joke, to which I would always refuse. When I was asked why I always said no and that I would never date them, I simply told them that I just didn’t like any of the guys at the school. In my defense, almost every guy in that school  was a complete jerk. After saying that they joked about me being gay (I hadn’t come out yet and hadn’t yet identified as a male(had no clue how to word that)). It quickly escalated though and got to the point where they were pressuring me into using the scissors we had in class to play the knife game and it wasn’t until a week or two before classes were switched that I had enough and was at the point of snapping. The last class I had in that class was the one after I had accidentally broke one of the pully systems and they were telling me to slit my wrists and drink bleach. 

They took me out of class immediately and let me stay in a spare room during those periods. I had one friend who would skip their chorus class in order to stay with me during those days. I still talk to them to this day. 

It was extremely difficult for me to talk to people after moving, but because of my lack of liking nice clothes, I had made a friend the first day. Because of the shirt I was wearing. Slowly I was introduced to new people. I had met my ‘boyfriend’ because I refused to move from a table when he sat down (unlike the others). It was one of my friends that helped get us together. I met my first girlfriend through another friend. I had met my second girlfriend in gym class because we were both incredibly lazy people who didn’t want to actually do anything. I met two of my younger friends through gym class as well.

I had mentioned a ‘boyfriend’. I put it in quotes because we dated for two months before he broke up with me. Over the summer last year he took me to an amusement park and even helped me through my regression when I had regressed (without meaning to, it might have been the stuffed animals, rides, ice cream and characters walking around that helped though lol). That night he and I were waiting for the rest of his family while in the car. I was either sitting in silence or listening to music while hugging the stuffed Charazard I stole from him. During that time he had told me that he had never actually liked me the way that I liked him. My heart felt shattered and I refused to let anybody touch me the entire time. I just sat there hugging the stuffy close and trying to appear big. 

My first girlfriend and I are still friends now (and she’s one of the few who aren’t contributing to my depression at the moment). We were together for about a month before we broke up (She later disclosed she realized she was straight after being with me. Not sure how to feel about that). We had broken up though because her family is extremely religious and threatened to hurt me if we continued to date.

My second girlfriend and I have been together on and off three times. She knows about my regression and has told me herself that she is completely fine with it. Nothing between us had gone wrong but we’re both extremely depressed.

It was because of that boyfriend mentioned above that I had learned about cglre again (I had known about it before but I had almost completely forgot). My friends have been pretty accepting about it overall, but I still have trouble talking about it to people. One of my friends even helped me be smol in class without anybody knowing. She’d make me feel safe about it and sometimes (and still does occasionally if she sees I’m super stressed) would feed me the candy that I keep in my bag (my pockets and bag have been nicknamed the black holes because there’s always food of some sort and there was even a point in English where I had pulled a full art set out of my stuffed bag). A couple times during lunch she would hold the (disgusting) juice for me as I drank from the straw. 

Because of my friends’ support I was confident enough to be open to my parents about it. Huge mistake. At one point they had asked me to meet them in the living room for a meeting to ‘talk’. It was less talking and more them yelling at me to act my age. I still worry about someone barging into my bedroom and catching me while regressed. The idea terrifies me to the point where if I feel Little in the slightest I will hide in my room (if possible) or just stay silent. The only adult here that I know that at all listened to me about it and understood it was a therapist I stopped seeing. 

I’ve been too stressed to regress lately anyways. I constantly have been in a state of depression or feeling numb. The few things keeping me afloat right now are becoming fewer because each time I do anything I somehow end up messing something up. I went to the kitchen for a bottle of water last night and when by the time I was back in my room I was being told not to ask for anything for Christmas. I hadn’t done anything other than be told how disgusting I am (which if I am it’s because I’ve lost any motivation to do anything other than lay here and sleep and haven’t been able to force myself into completing everyday tasks). 

Usually I felt that I could talk to my friends about feeling this way, but not a single person here has actually listened to me. The majority of the time I can only get out a few words before the person I’m talking to stops listening, interrupts me, or starts another conversation with another person. Talking to family is a one-way street that ends in the situation becoming worse and them telling me that I have no reason to be depressed or that I should start doing the things that I need to do so that they have no reason to give me shit about anything. 

(I was told that talking about this, even if it’s just a Tumblr post, that this might help. The therapist I had mentioned is the one who told me this. But at the same time, I feel like it’d be something good to talk about. Idk)

[gleefail]

Glee Memories: 1x9 Wheels

A long, long time ago, as Glee was approaching graduation in Season 3, I found myself nostalgic with some rare free time on my hands. So I decided to rewatch the series from the beginning and jot down some memories, discrepancies that have arisen since, fave quotes, tally solos - all that good stuff, strictly for shits and giggles.

8 years later (eek!) and once more I find myself with an unexpected abundance of free time. With so many revisiting or being newly introduced to the show between binge watching during Quarantine and all the tragedy that has surrounded the show since it went off the air, I figured I’d finish what I started. And by finish, I mean go through the end of S3. Cause I truly cannot acknowledge what happened after that. Except for 5B.

Kicking this off by reposting the first 15 episodes I already went through. Enjoy!

1x9 Wheels I haven’t addressed yet that this voice-over “Here’s what you missed on Glee” guy is different…will be interesting to see when they changed it.

um…when did Kurt tell everyone that he was gay? Didn’t he only come out to Mercedes and his dad so far? I definitely missed that on Glee

Holy crap. I forgot about this Cheerios jump rope number.

This is when I started not liking S1 Quinn. When she started being just plain mean to Finn even as she lied to him about the baby being his. Uncalled for. Although her calling out that he’s a peabrain is hella-necessary.

Figgins can’t pay for a bus for Artie to get to sectionals. Understandable? Is that like, legal?

Makes total sense that Sue has boosters that provide funds for traveling etc. Doesn’t make sense that the Glee club never started music boosters….not to me anyways.

Will’s right. In high school, some of the best trips were rides to other schools for volleyball games and showchoir competitions together. Although that almost always involved people mooning out the back window. And getting to third base under letterman jackets. Just my school? Anyone else?

Aw…Tina is looking at Artie from afar…not necessarily romantically…concerned? Whatever the reason, it’s cute.

Aw, Kurt’s so excited about Defying Gravity

let the record show, Mr. Schue just handed a solo to Rachel for a competition for the first time ever. But not the last. Don’t get me started.

“Don’t worry. We’ll find something for you to…dip in chocolate” Two things: 1. Yes you will. And his name is Sam Evans. (’wanky’). 2. No, you won’t Mr. Schue. No. You. Won’t. #oops

“I mean, bake sales are kind of bourgee” “So hip people stopped eating delicious, sugary treats?” “It’s not that, it’s that most of us don’t know how to bake. I find recipes confusing.” I love every moment of this exchange. And

Britany’s officially not all there now. :) Yaaaay!

Aw, poor Artie and the peer pressure of having to say he doesn’t mind when he’s clearly hurt by people he thinks are his friends. Poor guy.

It really does impress me how Kevin McHale manages to completely lose use of his legs. Even when he’s boppin in his wheelchair. I don’t think I could do it.

Jenna Ushkowitz is flat out adorable laughing at her lunch table in slow motion.

Aw Tina. These original members really do all have a lil special place in my heart. Before RIB screwed most of them over.

Ruh roh, I know that look. Mr. Schue is getting an idea watching Artie jamming around in his wheelchair…

Why is Kurt wearing a gangsta bandana on his head?

“But I’m happy to have you try out something else, Kurt. And I’ll make sure it’s got a killer high note” No. No, you won’t Schue. Ugh. Three seasons of empty promises and he won Teacher of the Year? Riiiight.

“Well, you’re irritating most of the time but…don’t take that personally”

“Preach!” Yes!!! There’s the Artie I know and love! It makes me giggle more seeing moments like this knowing he asks Amber to show him how to do it, lol.

hahahahaha – Finn just got hit in the back of the head with someone’s baseball bat! Rachel just got her lunch spilled all over her! Oh, happiness.

“it’s what I have left of my pool cleaning money. After I bought dip and numchucks” 

Quinn is so pretty in regular clothes with her hair down in season one. I would buy that THIS is the girl everyone wants to be. She’s totes that popular, bitchy girl who has everything.

“It would be pretty awesome if it came out with a Mohawk”

Aw, this food fight is still so cute. I feel like we haven’t seen Quinn laugh like that since until she was going up that ramp with Artie cheering her on. So cute.

“It’s not about a guy, is it? Cause…I’m not ready to have that conversation.” “At least you don’t have to worry about me getting someone pregnant” snicker snicker. True dat.

“You sing like a girl – in a good way”

So…yeah, they were doing Defying Gravity for Sectionals…what happened to that?

FIRST APPEARANCE OF LAUREN ZIZES!!!

Ugh. So stupid Rachel is complaining about having to audition for a solo. It’s showchoir. You should have to audition for EVERY solo and anyone who wants to can. …but it’s Glee

“We all know I’m more popular than Rachel – and I dress better than her…”

“Your right hand, Britany” *Santana whispers to her “it’s this one”* Yup. Not all there. There’s mah girl!

I love that instead of saying “I promise to vote for whoever sings the song better”, Mercedes blatantly says to Kurt “I promise to vote FOR YOU” with a big smile. I love Kurtcedes. Have I said that yet?

“Maybe one of these days you’ll find a way to create teaching moments without ruining my life.” Oh he will Rachel. He’ll just ruin everyone else’s.

“Those are what I call ‘lazy makers’”

Figgins is making Sue hold auditions to replace Quinn on the Cheerios. How do they not try out in the first place?

“and as soon as a cheerleader rolls herself out onto the field in a wheelchair she becomes decidedly less effective at cheering people up. It’s just a fact.”

“Stop attacking me. I’m sick of it” I like this Finn. Where did he come from? And where did he go?

I never ever ever realized that that was Kurt auditioning for the Cheerios with a baton. OMG!

haha, also never realized that the “freak” did the splits and clearly landed on his junk but tried to play it like he was fine. HAAAAA!

“Becky, I’m gonna stop you right there. You’re in.” YAY!

“I’m just saying, she has a point; you are kind of an idiot.” Truth.com, Puck.

“It’s just like you, with your stutter” Tina’s reaction said it all. “But I wanna be very clear: I still have the use of my penis.” HAAAAAAA!!! And Artie’s “why did I say that?!” look afterwards. Golden.

Kurt warming up to a high F while Burt gets the “your son’s a fag” phone call. So damn sad.

“Sometimes I just…I wish your mom was still around, y’know?” Aw, Burt. So happy you’ll find Carol.

“I don’t wanna win out of charity. I wanna win the solo because it’s right for the club. I really think that the judges at Sectionals will find a female version of Defying Gravity much more accessible.” Lies and manipulation and selfishness of Rachel Berry. And it begins.

“People just don’t like me.” “Yeah, you might wanna work on that” Yup. You might, Rachel. Too bad ya never really did unless it was to benefit you. hahaha, Puck put a lil pot in the cupcakes. I totally forgot about that. omg. There’s a loooot of flannel in that lunch room. What is that about?

Haha. Puck buying pot from Sandy. “The doctor said the shark fractured my spinal cord.” “This is why I don’t go to the aquarium.”

Sue’s mean don’t discriminate because of handicap, gender, religion, or sexual preference.

“You think this is hard? Try auditioning for Baywatch and being told they’re going in a different direction. THAT was hard.” Truth.

“Oh, I bully everyone, William. That’s the way I roll”

First official Diva-off!! I remember I soooo wanted Kurt to win, but it was all over his face that something was up ever since Burt told him about that phone call.

First sacrifice for Rachel Berry. Go.

Even back then when I liked Rachel Berry, I didn’t like her singing this song. I think my dislike of her started right around here. Like “who does she think she is, trying to sing this song better than Idina, when she knows damn well, coming from Broadway, who Idina is!?” that was me, lol. My point is I still don’t like her on this song. It has a special place in my heart and I need more of a powerhouse on it, and someone whose soul I can hear when they sing it, not just trying to sing pretty.

“’It’ is a ‘she’.” That’s a cute moment. :)

Ok. Ohhhhh boy. Finn got a job by pretending to be handicapped and stuck in a wheelchair. But wasn’t it Finn that 2 seasons later berates Quinn for not announcing that she’s improved to now be able to stand/walk to get votes for Prom Queen? I just…I refrain from comment. It’ll get ugly.

Aw, Artie is donating the money to get a ramp put in the auditorium instead of using it to get a bus to go to Sectionals with everyone. Way to take one for the team, Artie. He’s a good guy.

Sue donated the $600 to rent the bus for Sectionals. Aw. I knew something was up at that point. Lies. I knew something was up when she told Will “You don’t know the FIRST thing about me.”

Aw, Jean. This relationship was so sweet.

AWWWWW – Artie’s face after Tina kisses him!!!

Aw. Artie’s face after Tina admits that she’s faking her stutter. :(

“I’m sorry now you get to be normal and I’m gonna be stuck in this chair for the rest of my life. And that’s not something I can fake.” Aw, man. So sad.

“I’m just saying that I love you more than I love being a star.” Oh Kurt. You little angel.

Ok. There are no words for how I felt when I found out Glee was doing Proud Mary. Here’s the thing: Me and my theatre friends always go to karaoke and take turns singing this song. And then the rest of us kinda flash mob it and rush the stage once the tempo picks up in synchronized back-up dancing. And it’s the highlight of our night and the best tradition when we can get everyone together to do it. Once people came up and asked if we were some group of performers that the bar hired to come do it. It’s soooo much fun. It has such a special place in my heart. I do it now for warm-ups with my high school kids when we need to unwind. And I always use this Glee version. Cause I loves Amber Riley and Kevin McHale and Jenna Ushkowitz on it. Things like this are what make me sad that Glee-ers are graduating more than missing the show itself or the writing; the memories made along the way. And the things like this that just make me smile.

Lol, one of my friends loved the duplicity of them singing this. Cause it was ‘rollin’ for Artie and ‘Mary’ for Kurt. He was gay, so I guess he was allowed to say things like that cause he owned it, lol.

This number is so effing awesome. And the costumes and hair are super cute.

I love the behind the scenes of this where Cory talks about when Amber fell out of her wheelchair and he just heard a crash followed  by incessant laughing. SOLOS: Artie (2), Rachel (1), Kurt (1), Mercedes (1), Tina (1)