#because HE got it and HE got it because he saw that she wanted it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

theonottsbxtch · 17 hours ago

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TIMEZONE | OP81

an: i promised after oscar’s pole id promise fluff and also because i got peer pressured by @amyelevenn im a victim fr, enjoy our soft boy - warning it does start off a bit angsty. this was a request from @n0vazsq for my 2k celly thank you ml <3 ALSO THIS IS NOT PROOFREAD IM SORRY

wc: 3.1k

synopsis: oscar let the one go, but the longer he spends away from her the more he realises what a stupid mistake it was.

OSCAR WAS MISERABLE.

He'd just won his first ever pole-to-win conversion, and he was bloody miserable.

The champagne was still dripping from his race suit, the taste of victory lingering on his tongue, but it all felt hollow. The cheers from the crowd rang in his ears, deafening, but none of it mattered. Because she wasn’t there.

She should have been. She should have been in the paddock, wrapped up in his fireproof jacket, rolling her eyes at his cocky post-race grin but kissing him breathless anyway. She should have been the first person he saw when he climbed out of the car, arms flung around his neck before he'd even peeled off his gloves.

Instead, she was seven thousand miles away, living a life that no longer included him.

The realisation hit him like a punch to the gut as he stood on the podium, trophy in hand, the cameras flashing. He should have felt elated, triumphant. Instead, he felt empty. He'd sacrificed so much for this—pushed himself to the absolute limit, given everything he had to his career. But in doing so, he’d lost the one person who made it all mean something.

He barely heard the post-race interviews, barely registered his own answers. His PR manager nudged him at the right moments, and he went through the motions; smiling, nodding, thanking the team. But his heart wasn’t in it. It was still in London, curled up in a tiny uni flat with a girl who used to wear his hoodies to bed and steal his socks when hers went missing.

She used to joke that they spent more time apart than together. At first, she’d said it with a laugh, teasing him about their ridiculous time zone differences, about how she’d wake up just as he was finishing free practice on the other side of the world. But as the months passed, as the late-night FaceTime calls turned into missed texts and unreturned voicemails, the laughter had faded.

And then, one day, she’d stopped waiting.

He should have fought harder. He should have told her she was more important than all of this. That she was the only thing in the world that felt like home.

But he hadn’t.

And even now, standing on the top step of the podium, the world at his feet, he had never felt further away from where he truly wanted to be.

By the time he finally escaped to the driver's room, the buzz of victory had been drowned out by the quiet hum of regret sitting in his chest. His race suit was damp with sweat and champagne, the adrenaline fading, leaving nothing but exhaustion.

He grabbed his phone from where he’d tossed it earlier, the screen lighting up as he pressed the button. No texts. No missed calls. Nothing.

His jaw clenched as his eyes flicked to the clock widget at the top.

London: 10:00 AM

He could never bring himself to delete it. No matter where he was in the world—Australia, Japan, the Middle East—he always knew exactly what time it was for her. He used to check it before calling, before sending stupid voice notes at ungodly hours, before whispering a sleepy “Goodnight, love” when she was already halfway through her morning coffee.

Now, it was just another reminder of how far away she was.

With a frustrated sigh, he chucked his phone onto the massage bed and peeled off his race suit, yanking it down to his waist before grabbing a towel. The knock on the door came exactly two seconds before it was shoved open.

"Oi, I'm changing!" Oscar snapped, instinctively pulling the towel higher over his shoulder.

Lando stood in the doorway, completely unfazed. "Yeah, don’t care." He strolled in like he owned the place, tossing a sweaty towel onto the table before flopping onto the small sofa in the corner. "Right, what’s your problem?"

Oscar frowned. "What?"

Lando gestured vaguely at him. "You won the race, mate. First pole-to-win conversion, team's over the bloody moon. But you look like someone just ran over your cat."

"I'm fine."

"Bollocks," Lando said flatly. "You barely said two words after the race, you legged it out of the debrief like your arse was on fire, and you’re sitting here staring at your phone like you're waiting for it to apologise to you."

Oscar exhaled sharply, running a hand through his damp hair. "Just... tired."

Lando snorted. "Tired, my arse. Come on, out with it."

Oscar hesitated. He could dodge, change the subject, pretend that he wasn’t slowly losing his mind over someone who didn’t even call him anymore.

But then, before he could stop himself, the words came tumbling out.

"I broke up with her." His voice cracked slightly, and he cleared his throat. "I mean, she broke up with me. But only 'cause I was never bloody there. Time zones, flights, races, all of it—it was too much. She got sick of waiting for me to show up, and I—" He stopped, swallowing hard. "I let her go."

Lando didn’t say anything for a moment, just watching him with a look that was more knowing than Oscar would have liked. "Shit."

"Yeah." Oscar let out a humourless laugh, shaking his head. "I won the biggest race of my career today, and the only thing I can think about is how she should’ve been in the crowd. She should’ve been the first person I saw when I got out of the car." He exhaled, scrubbing a hand over his face. "But she wasn’t. And that’s my fault."

Lando was quiet for a beat, then sighed. "Mate, that’s brutal."

Oscar let out a bitter chuckle. "Tell me about it."

Lando leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. "So... what are you gonna do about it?"

Oscar blinked. "What?"

"You love her, right?"

Oscar opened his mouth, ready to protest, but stopped himself. Love. The word sat heavy on his tongue, because of course he did. He always had.

Lando shrugged. "Well, then. Go and fix it."

Oscar shook his head, exhaling sharply. "I can't."

Lando raised a brow. "I can."

And with that, he stood up, clapped Oscar once on the shoulder, and walked out of the room—leaving Oscar sitting there, half-dressed, with a thousand unanswered questions.

What the hell did that even mean?

He stared at the door for a moment, running through every possible way Lando could have just ruined his life. But there was no time to dwell on it. He had a flight to Nice that night, back to his apartment, back to his too-quiet routine of training, simulator work, and pretending he wasn’t thinking about her.

Except an hour later, when he was in his hotel room, shoving his clothes and essentials into his suitcase, there was a knock at the door.

Frowning, he padded over, running a hand through his damp hair before swinging it open.

Max stood there, hands in the pockets of his team-branded joggers, looking like he had about two minutes of patience left before he lost interest and walked away.

Oscar blinked. "Uh—"

"I'm leaving for London at six," Max said.

Oscar frowned. "Okay?"

Max tilted his head slightly, as if waiting for Oscar to catch up. When it became clear that wasn’t happening, he sighed, shifting his weight onto one foot. "I've got a spare seat on the jet."

Oscar's brain still wasn’t putting one and one together. He looked over Max’s shoulder, half-expecting Lando to be standing there smirking, but the corridor was empty. "Right. And why exactly are you telling me this?"

Max exhaled through his nose, already looking like he regretted getting involved. "Lando said you were miserable. You broke up with your girlfriend and need to get back to London to fix things. I know you probably have a flight to Nice booked, and Lando seems convinced you’re just going to sit there and wallow until the next race." He paused, glancing at the half-packed suitcase on the bed. "So finish packing. Let’s go. I don’t do well with tardiness."

And with that, he turned on his heel and started walking away.

Oscar stood there for a solid five seconds, staring at the now-empty hallway, his thoughts scrambling to catch up.

Lando. That meddling little—

He huffed out a laugh, shaking his head. Then, without hesitating, he turned back into the room and shoved the rest of his things into his suitcase.

London. He was going to London.

To fix things.

To fix everything.e

It was 7 AM when they landed, and the first thing Oscar did—besides being absolutely jetlagged—was check her schedule.

He never deleted it from his camera roll.

It was an old photo, scribbled notes in her handwriting detailing lectures, seminars, deadlines. He used to check it religiously before calling, making sure he wasn’t waking her up before an important class or messaging when she was in the library. Even now, he found himself doing the same, as if he still had the right to.

Mondays. No morning lectures.

That gave him time.

He exhaled, rubbing a hand over his face, then turned to Max, who was stretching his arms over his head like he hadn’t just crossed multiple time zones. "Cheers, mate. For, you know… all of this."

Max just shrugged. "You can thank Lando. I don’t usually offer free therapy and private jet rides to sad bastards."

Oscar let out a breath of laughter. "Duly noted."

With that, he slung his bag over his shoulder, headed outside, and hailed a cab.

The drive to her flat was a blur of grey London streets, his heart pounding harder with every passing second. The nerves only set in when he stepped out of the taxi, staring up at her building like it was a bloody racetrack he’d never driven before.

What if she didn’t want to see him?

What if she had moved on?

What if he was about to make an absolute fool of himself?

Still, his feet carried him forward. Up the stairs. To her door.

He raised his hand and knocked.

There was shuffling from inside—soft footsteps, the creak of the floorboards. And then, the door swung open.

Oscar’s breath caught in his throat.

She stood there, blinking at him in sleepy confusion, dressed in nothing but his hoodie, a pair of socks, and—Jesus Christ—his old boxer shorts, worn as makeshift pyjamas.

His hoodie was too big on her, hanging off one shoulder, the sleeves bunched up where she’d pushed them past her wrists. The sight of it, of her, in his clothes like she always used to be, knocked the air from his lungs.

His throat felt tight. "Hi."

She didn’t move. Didn’t speak. Just stared at him, like she wasn’t sure if he was real.

Oscar swallowed hard, heart hammering. "Can I come in?"

She stared at him, wide-eyed, gripping the edge of the door like she needed to steady herself. "What are you doing here?"

Her voice was quiet, still laced with sleep, but there was something else beneath it—something raw, something hesitant.

Oscar swallowed. "I—" He exhaled, shaking his head like even he couldn't believe it. "I needed to see you."

She blinked again, like she was still processing his sudden appearance. Then her brow furrowed slightly. "You were in China yesterday. You won your race. Now you’re here."

A slow smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "You watched?"

She hesitated, then nodded. "Yeah. Of course, I did."

Something in his chest squeezed tight. He didn't deserve that—didn't deserve her still watching, still caring. But he was selfish enough to let it fuel the courage he needed to say what he’d come here to say.

"I’ve been miserable," he admitted, voice rough. "Since the moment I let you walk away. Since the moment I realised I was losing you, and instead of doing something about it, I just let it happen. I thought I could handle it, you know? Thought I could just keep my head down, focus on racing, distract myself with the next flight, the next circuit, the next podium. But it didn’t work. None of it worked. I won, and it didn’t feel like winning, because you weren’t there. You weren’t insulting me for making you cry and ruining your makeup. I'd check my phone and see the time in London, and I’d realise I had nothing to text you anymore. I kept waiting for it to get easier, but it never did. And I—"

He exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair. "Fuck, I don’t even know what I’m saying, I didn’t plan this—"

And then she kissed him.

Just like that. No warning, no hesitation. She reached up, grabbed the front of his hoodie, and pulled him down to her. His words died instantly, swallowed by the warmth of her lips, by the way she pressed against him like she’d been waiting for this just as much as he had.

His bag hit the floor with a dull thud as his hands found her waist, gripping tight as he walked her backwards into the flat, not bothering to close the door. He had barley registered the sound of his bag, too caught up in the way she sighed against his mouth, the way her fingers curled into his hair, tugging just enough to send heat racing through him.

He backed her up until she hit the wall, a quiet gasp escaping her as he pressed closer, deepening the kiss. He’d had dreams about this. Stupid, torturous dreams where he’d wake up in hotel rooms alone, still reaching for her. But this—this was real. She was real, warm and soft under his touch, her nails raking lightly over his shoulder blades as his hands slid up beneath the fabric of his hoodie—his hoodie—to feel the warmth of her skin.

Then—

"Ahem."

They froze.

Oscar pulled back just enough to see over his shoulder, his stomach immediately plummeting.

Mrs Hart—her elderly neighbour—stood in the hallway, wrapped in a thick cardigan and holding a shopping bag. She raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

"If you're going to take part in passionate rendezvous before 8 AM," she said dryly, "at least do it with the door closed."

Heat flooded Oscar’s face. He heard her let out a mortified laugh, peaking from in front of him just enough to mumble, "Sorry, Mrs Hart."

Mrs Hart hummed, clearly unimpressed, then shuffled off down the hallway, muttering something under her breath about "young people these days."

The second the front door clicked shut, she turned back to Oscar, biting her lip, eyes full of amusement. "That was—"

"Mortifying?" he supplied, still half-dazed from kissing her.

She grinned. "Hilarious."

And then she kissed him again.

Oscar was so gone for her.

He let out a breath, still slightly dazed, before remembering his bag was still abandoned in the corridor. He pulled away, bent down, grabbed it, and kicked the door shut properly this time. When he turned back, she was watching him, arms crossed, a soft smile playing on her lips.

"So," she said, tilting her head. "You flew across the world to tell me you’re miserable?"

Oscar exhaled a laugh, dropping his bag by the wall. "I guess I did."

"Idiot," she murmured, but there was no bite to it. Just fondness.

His chest ached. God, he’d missed her.

They stood there for a second, neither speaking, neither moving. Then, wordlessly, she reached for his hand.

She didn’t hesitate. Didn’t question. Just curled her fingers around his wrist and pulled.

Oscar followed without resistance, letting her lead him down the hall, into her bedroom, and straight to her bed. He barely had time to react before she gave him a firm shove, sending him tumbling onto the mattress with a surprised grunt.

She stood at the edge, hands on her hips, looking down at him with a raised brow. "First," she said, voice firm, "sleep. Those bags under your eyes are giving me a run for my money, and I’m a uni student."

Oscar huffed a laugh, opening his mouth to argue—only for her to crawl onto the bed, straddle him, and press her lips to his before he could get a single word out.

It wasn’t a soft kiss this time. It was deep, heated, like she was trying to make up for all the time they’d lost.

Oscar groaned low in his throat, his hands sliding under her hoodie, fingers skimming warm skin. He felt her shiver, heard the little gasp she let out when he pulled her closer, felt her shift slightly and—

Yeah. Yeah, she definitely felt that.

She broke the kiss with a breathless laugh, grabbing his wrists and shoving them away. "Naughty!" she scolded, grinning as she sat back. "First, we’re sleeping."

Oscar let out a dramatic groan, letting his head fall back against the pillows. "That’s just cruel. You’re a cruel woman."

She smirked, rolling off him and slipping under the duvet. "You’re the one who looks half dead. Get in."

Oscar stared at her for a moment, something warm curling in his chest. He hadn’t realised just how much he’d missed this—the casual intimacy, the way she just knew when he needed to rest, the way she could tease him one second and make his heart ache with how much he loved her the next.

He exhaled, then kicked off his shoes and climbed in beside her.

But Oscar didn’t hesitate. The second he was under the covers, he pulled her tight against him, slotting her perfectly against his chest. His arms wrapped around her, one hand splayed across her back, the other tangled in her hair as he breathed her in.

She was warm, soft, real.

For months, he’d fallen asleep with nothing but the hum of hotel air conditioning and the occasional distant city noise to keep him company. No whispered conversations under the covers, no sleepy kisses before sunrise, no warmth beside him. Just cold sheets and silence.

But now—now she was here. In his arms. Where she belonged.

She let out a small sigh, nuzzling into his chest, her fingers tracing idle patterns against his side. "You know, I meant what I said earlier," she murmured.

Oscar hummed, his thumb brushing along her spine. "What?"

She tilted her head slightly, looking up at him with a teasing glint in her eye. "That you’re an idiot."

He chuckled, shaking his head. "I missed you too, sweetheart."

She huffed a quiet laugh but didn’t argue, just curled in closer.

Within minutes, her breathing evened out, her body relaxing completely against his. Oscar lay awake a little longer, just holding her, letting it all sink in. The ache that had lived in his chest for months—the one he’d ignored, buried under podium celebrations and press conferences—finally eased.

No win, no pole position, and no championship could ever make Oscar feel as happy as he felt then and there.

the end.

taglist: @lilorose25 @obxstiles @iimplicitt @carlossainzapologist @iamred-iamyellow @curseofhecate @number-0-iz @dozyisdead @ihtscuddlesbeeetchx3 @n0vazsq @dying-inside-but-its-classy @hzstry8 @oikarma @amyelevenn

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osarina · 21 hours ago

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ᡣ𐭩 IF WE WERE YOUNG AGAIN

FEATURING: osamu dazai

SUMMARY: your day was a mess from start to finish, and you knew it would only go further downhill when dazai inevitably called you up to his office once you got back to headquarters. still, you never could've imagined just how badly it would take a turn for the worse.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: AHAHAHAHAHA GUYSSSSS ARE U READY ARE U READYYYYYYYYY BEAST AU PMREADER AT LAST!!!!!!!! anyway there's not much to say yet, i shall be saying my thank yous and my full piece at the end of the last part, so ENJOY! this first part is a doozy dafuhsdiufh sorry the summary sucks i couldnt think of one and just wanted to get this out for u guys. be gentle on our girl reader, she's going through it. reblogs appreciated!

GENERAL WARNINGS: fem!reader, port mafia executive!reader, beast!dazai, tragedy, angst, canon compliant.

CHAPTER SPECIFIC WARNINGS: dazai is quite cruel in this first part (with reason of course but it still might be hard to read). alcohol & drug usage. unprotected sex. finger sucking. a bit of implied/explicit misogny & slut shaming.

SEE: TWO SLOW DANCERS SERIES MASTERLIST

Dazai Osamu is dead—that’s what everyone tells you, at least.

Chuuya is convinced he died somewhere between his fifteenth and sixteenth birthday, months before you ever met either of them. He tells you that if you’d seen the way he acted when he and Chuuya first met—if you’d seen how bright his eyes got whenever he insulted Chuuya and goaded him into stupid challenges, if you’d seen the way he was so careless with his life and how he’d laugh gleefully when Mori panicked trying to keep him alive, if you’d seen him compared to how he acted afterward, you would know that something happened in those months that killed the boy that once went by that name. Chuuya is vehement in his belief that Dazai has been long dead, and the thing that lives on the top floor of the Mafia’s main headquarters is only a husk that wears his ex-partner’s face.

The Flags agree with him—they never knew Dazai well, but they knew of him enough to know that something had seriously changed in those few months. You’d never been convinced of it, though. You didn’t know Dazai before his ‘death’ date, but you know that he wasn’t dead when you met him.

He was always odd; you could always tell that something heavy was hanging over him. There was an air of gloom and despair that clung to him like a second skin, and it made people keep him at arm’s length. Sometimes, when he thought no one was looking, he’d get a faraway look in his eyes like he was lost in some other world, and sometimes he became cold and standoffish for no reason at all. It would happen so suddenly that it would give you whiplash, and you never knew what triggered it. Still, you could see the way his fingers trembled with guilt after.

He was odd, but he was alive. You fought Chuuya tooth and nail about it for two years; he always tried to get you to distance yourself from Dazai, warning you that something was wrong with him, that he was not right, that something changed him for the worse, and every time would end with you slapping him and the two of you not speaking for days. Dazai was alive—it was so abundantly clear to you in every interaction with him. His eye shone brightly whenever you walked into the room. You could hear and feel his heart racing when the two of you were curled up on the couch or in bed. His cheeks would flush a pretty red whenever you teased him, his breath would catch when your lips brushed his—he was alive, and there was no one you wouldn’t fight about it.

Your partner, Itou, didn’t know Dazai before his speculated ‘death’ date either, but he too was skeptical of how adamant Chuuya and the Flags were about it because all he saw was the way he acted with you. It made you feel validated, you would vent to him about it whenever you and Chuuya got into fights because you didn’t want to tell Dazai what Chuuya was saying about him, although you had a feeling he already knew.

Then he hopped on the bandwagon two months before Dazai took over as Port Mafia boss. You don’t quite know what happened between the two of them—Itou and Dazai were never friends. Dazai was always cold to the older boy, and Itou always kept a distance from him, but they were cordial for the most part. Something changed at eighteen when Dazai picked up a mission that was supposed to be yours. He went with your subordinates up to Kyoto to handle Ihara Saikaku, who was undoing all the work you’d done up there before you came to Yokohama. When they got back, Itou could never look at him the same. He wasn’t quite as loud and adamant about Dazai as Chuuya and the Flags were, but you could tell that he wasn’t fully on your side anymore when you vented to him.

So you were alone in your defense of Dazai. Alone, and for a long time, you never wavered—Dazai was odd, but he was indubitably alive, and he was indubitably human. You fought Chuuya on it, you fought Itou on it, but eventually, you had to fight yourself on it, too.

Your throat swells as you look at the small metal trinket resting in your hands. It’s ugly, haphazardly made—a bunch of wires twisted into an indecipherable shape. It’s only because you remember the offended expression that crossed Dazai’s face when he saw the confusion on yours after handing it to you as a gift when you guys were sixteen that you know it’s supposed to be a crab, and he has his own to match. Had his own to match. Chuuya had one, too, but he destroyed it right before your eyes during one particularly bad fight three years ago.

Dazai had made them after watching a movie with you and Chuuya before their shaky friendship fell apart entirely toward the end of the Dragon’s Head Conflict. You’re not really sure what pushed him to make them, but Chuuya immediately called them ugly and said that he didn’t want a stupid crab, and Dazai promptly threw it in his face. The two of them started brawling on the ground for almost an hour, but even after they fell out, you know Chuuya took careful care of the stupid crab—it brought you solace for a time because you knew it meant that a part of Chuuya, however small, still clung to his old friendship with Dazai even if they weren’t on good terms anymore.

Until he used his ability to ensure that there wasn’t even dust left when he destroyed it, that is.

“You already finished up with Mishima? I thought you weren’t supposed to be back until tomorrow.”

You lift your gaze from the crab, eyes falling on Chuuya as he leans against the frame of the door to your office. There’s an odd expression on his face, and you realize that he’s not looking at you but instead at the object in your hands, trying to figure out what it is. As casually as you can, you lean back in your seat and bring your hands into your lap, giving him a wry smile.

“Dealing with Mishima never takes more than a couple of hours,” you say, quietly dropping the trinket in your desk drawer before sliding it shut. “I figured you’d be busy with the new recruits today. I heard they were incompetent.”

“Don’t get me started,” he replies dryly, pushing himself off the doorframe to make his way over to you. He sits on your desk and you give him a withering look when he carelessly moves the documents you’d been reading. “I left Iceman to deal with it.”

“How considerate.”

“Always,” he agrees with a sharp smile. He leans back on his hands, hair falling in his eyes and hat crooked on his head as he looks down at you, eyes curious—you know him well enough that there’s a question on the tip of his tongue, but it’s likely a question he already knows the answer to and just wants to see what you say.

“We’re meeting at the bar in Hodogaya—you gonna come?”

It’s a casual question, an invite out with friends, so unassuming, but you know what the underlying question is.

Are you going to answer him when he calls for you?

It’s a Thursday night. Dazai usually calls for you on Fridays because you’re not quite as busy trying to get together reports before the weekend—he knows you like to have them done before Friday morning—but you had a mission today, so you know, and Chuuya knows, that he’s going to use it as an excuse to call you up to his office tonight.

There’s a heavy look in his eyes as he stares at you, waiting for a response, and you know what he wants to hear. He wants you to say yes, he wants you to turn your back on Dazai at last and come out with them instead—and you think he has some nerve expecting that of you when he still acts like Dazai’s loyal dog, killing and destroying on his command. This is going to lead to an argument between the two of you, not the first and certainly not the last. Every time you argue about this, he tells you that what he does for Dazai is different, he throws things in your face that you regret ever telling him, and then he’ll apologize when he calms down later.

Then the same fight will happen next week like clockwork.

“Chuuya,” you say quietly, letting out a sigh as you lean back in your chair, looking away. “You know—”

You sit upright when Chuuya suddenly leans forward, using his foot to push the drawer he’s sitting over open to grab what you tossed in there before he entered the room—you hadn’t been subtle enough. Your heart rate spikes, hand darting out to grab his wrist, but Chuuya is stronger than you, and he wrenches his hand away, staring down at the twisted wires with a disgusted expression

“Give it back,” you say tightly, holding your hand out. The air suddenly feels very hot, the room is suffocating. “Chuuya, give it to me.”

He doesn’t.

“You still have this shitty piece of scrap metal,” he spits, hand tightening around it. The Tainted Sorrow responds to his anger in an eerie red glow that emanates around his hand. Usually, Chuuya has impeccable control over his ability, he has to otherwise, destruction will follow him everywhere he goes, but the topic of Dazai is the only thing that manages to rattle the careful control he’s built. The only thing that wakes up the sleeping calamity god inside of him. “Why?”

“None of your business,” you say tightly, rising to your feet. “Give it back, Chuuya.”

“What the fuck are you still holding onto?” he demands, voice raising as he too comes to his feet, holding the trinket tight in his hands as he comes face to face with you. “He’s gone. How many fucking times does it have to be shoved in your face for you to understand? Dazai is gone.”

“Stop it,” you tell him, voice quiet but it wavers in a way you wish it didn’t. You’re not sure if you’re trying to convince yourself or Chuuya when you say, “He’s still there.”

“Dazai is dead,” Chuuya hisses. You can see he’s trying to calm himself down, but the frustration is whittling at his self-control. You used to be able to have conversations about Dazai, discussions about your opposing viewpoints, but now the instant his name is brought up, it’s like guns being drawn on both sides. “He died years ago. Whatever that thing is up in that office, it’s not him. Let him go, for fuck’s sake.”

“Rich,” you say with a laugh that you know grates his nerves. “Then why are you still here, Chuuya? You’re the strongest ability user in the world. No one could stop you if you wanted to leave, but you still answer his every whim like a well-trained dog.”

Chuuya’s expression twists like you’ve physically slapped him. A hurt expression crosses his face, and then something closer to guilt as he looks down at the ground. You know why—you know he partially blames himself for how Dazai changed. He thinks that there’s something he could’ve done differently in those months he knew him before he ‘died’ that could’ve led to a different outcome, and that’s why he stays at his side.

“Because once you’re done holding out hope that he’s still there,” Chuuya says, voice low and threatening in a way that has your hair on end—you’ve only ever heard him take this tone with enemies, “I’m going to fucking kill him.”

“Watch your fucking mouth,” you reply, voice just as low. “He’s still the boss.”

“He’s a walking corpse.”

“Watch your mouth.”

Chuuya suddenly laughs, taking a step away as he shakes his head. His eyes are wild, and you tense, waiting for him to escalate the argument, but you can’t brace yourself for the words that fly from his mouth.

“Always running to his defense, all for him to treat you like a whore,” Chuuya spits, slamming his hands down on your desk. He’s loud enough that you know all of the subordinates wandering the halls can hear. You don’t breathe as you stare at him, words processing slowly. “He calls you up there because he wants to get his fucking dick wet, and you spread your legs for him every time. Where’s your fucking self-respect?”

Your hand shoots out before you can stop yourself, palm stinging painfully as you slap Chuuya so hard that his head snaps to the side. He doesn’t budge for a second, staring at the far wall, a guilty expression crossing his face as if he only just now realized the gravity of his words.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” you say, and you hate that your voice wavers. “Get out of my office.”

Chuuya says your name quietly, regretfully. “I—”

“Get out, Chuuya,” you scream at him, taking one of the books on your desk and throwing it at him hard. He could use his ability to stop it from hitting him, or he could dodge, but he lets it drive hard into his chest, grimacing at the pain. “Get the fuck out.”

He leaves without another word, placing the bundle of twisted wires back down on your desk and only sparing one last glance in your direction before shutting the door quietly behind him. As soon as he’s gone, your hand is flying to your mouth to muffle the ragged breath you take in. Your eyes blur with tears, but you don’t let them roll over your cheeks—you don’t even have the chance to because your phone is buzzing with a message you’ve been expecting since you got back to base.

What timing, you think dryly, desperately trying to calm yourself down.

Dazai: Come up.

———

When you reach the top floor, your heart is in your throat. You don’t meet the eyes of either of the guards in the hall leading to Dazai’s office. You can’t even if you wanted to—as soon as you stepped out of the elevator, they averted their gaze to the ground.

You only come up here once a week—you only see Dazai once a week. You can hardly handle being in that office, it reminds you too much of Mori. It’s been four years, and you still sometimes expect to see him when you walk down this hall and through the double doors at the very end of it. You still haven’t fully processed his death—how could you with no closure? Dazai never even let you say goodbye. He didn’t tell you what was happening and had Mori’s body dumped before you could even race up to the top floor to stop him. By the time you got to the office, the deed was done, and Dazai was sitting at his desk, blood still fresh on his face and Mori’s scarf draped around his shoulders—a spoil of war, a symbol of his conquest.

There was no apology. No explanation. Not even a hint of guilt over what he did—for keeping you in the dark, for not even giving you the chance to cry over your father’s corpse.

He looked at you and said, “You were slower than I expected.”

He let you yell at him, he let you cry, but he never rose from where he was sitting at his desk. He watched impassively as you screamed your throat raw and cried until there were no tears left to shed, and when you sat on the ground heaving, finally starting to calm down, he told you to pull yourself together. That he needed your help reconsolidating power because the weeks directly after the transition would be the most vulnerable to internal and external conflict. That you needed to reach out to Leo Tolstoy and Mishima Yukio to let them know about the power transition and to ensure they were vocal in support of him.

Sometimes, you wonder if Chuuya is right because you don’t understand how Dazai could be so callous. And to you of all people. You can’t reconcile the Dazai of that day to the Dazai you knew for years—the one who lived in your apartment, who failed miserably every time he tried to make dinner, whose fingers trembled when you kissed him the first time.

He adored you for years, he looked at you like you were his whole world—he was cold to everyone else, but never you. From the day he met you when the Dragon’s Head Conflict was raging through Yokohama, he was gentle, overly affectionate, he gave you silly trinkets that reminded him of you, and picked the shittiest movies on Friday nights. He couldn’t sleep unless you were near him—a week before he killed Mori, he was curled up in your bed and complaining when you took too long brushing your teeth. You’d known the night before it happened that something was wrong, but you never could have expected what happened. Not ever. Not from Dazai.

He never explained why he really killed Mori; he blows you off with some shitty excuse about how it was what was best for the Mafia. How Mori knew this was coming. How it was always meant to happen. But you know there’s something he isn’t telling you, and his refusal to do so is as much of a betrayal as the act itself was.

When you reach the tall wood doors leading to his office, you take a moment to collect yourself. You remind yourself that it’s Dazai behind them, that Mori is gone, Elise is gone—you do this every time you come up here, but it’s never enough to rid yourself of the hope that briefly swells in your chest before it’s crushed by the sight of Dazai.

After what feels like an eternity, you finally push the door open and step into the office. The air is cool, brisk compared to the stuffy air of the hallway, and Dazai is standing on the other side of his desk, back facing you, hands clasped behind him. The door slams shut behind you with a deafening thunk, and you stay rooted to the ground in front of it, staring at the back of Dazai’s head.

He turns his head to the side, looking at you from the corner of his eye. For a moment, you almost think that his gaze softens as it lands on you, but it’s wishful thinking. You brace yourself when you see the way the corners of his lips quirk up into a sharp smile, how his eye glitters with a type of amusement that can only be malicious. His hands slide from where they’re resting behind his back to his front, out of view, and he says:

“You were slower than I expected.”

The air whooshes from your lungs—you don’t know what you thought he would say, but it wasn’t that. You try not to let the pain show as you recover from the blow dealt, but you know you failed to stop a grimace from crossing your face with how Dazai’s eye crinkles.

“You’re lucky I came at all,” you finally bite back, hating the way your voice so obviously wavers.

It’s always him, only him, who hurts you like this—he’s the only one with the ability to do this to you. Even Chuuya’s worst doesn’t come close to the damage Dazai can do with a few words. With everyone else, you can fight back, you can match their cruelty, surpass their cruelty, but he leaves you at a loss for words. He always has. He used to tease you with it—he was sweet and flirty, and it left you flustered, but now he’s cruel. He digs his fingers into wounds that he created and twists, violently reopening them so he can watch you bleed, and the worst part is, you don’t know why.

“Is that right?” he drawls, voice low and languid as he finally turns to face you, gaze roving over your body once before settling back on your face. His lips are pale and chapped, cheeks a bit sunken, the bag under his visible eye is almost black—you want to find pleasure in the fact that he’s clearly not doing well, but you can’t. He takes a few steps closer to you, and it takes all of your willpower not to let him back you up against the door. He lifts two fingers to your chin, tilting your face up to him and forcing you to hold his gaze—his fingers are so cold that it makes you shiver. “As always, all bark, no bite—you and I both know you’re too obedient to go against a direct order.”

You slap his hand away hard. His lips curve up into an unsettling smile that doesn’t reach his eye. He takes a step back to put some space between the two of you, hands taking their place behind his back again.

“What do you want?” you ask him after a moment, shaking your head as you look away. You know what he wants—you just don’t know what game he wants to play before he gets it. Especially not right now; he’s been so irritable and unpredictable the past few weeks. Sometimes, he likes playing politics, asking you about missions and how relations are with the Port Mafia’s allies; other times, he likes testing your limits, seeing how cruel he can be until you finally break. It always ends the same way for you—bent over his desk. “Hm?”

Dazai tilts his head to the side, giving you a lazy smile. “So cynical. What makes you think I want something? Maybe I just wanted to see you.”

You know better than to fall for that, lips tightening before you say, “You always want something.”

He leans forward on the balls of his feet, head dipping down, and there’s a playful expression on his face that gives you whiplash. You shift back, and for a brief second you see the Dazai you remember. The Dazai who giggled as he held your phone out of reach and watched you struggle to get it back. The Dazai who teased you into giving him your first kiss when you guys were sixteen. The Dazai who learned the names and stories of all of the constellations in the sky for you.

The Dazai you loved.

The Dazai you desperately want to believe is still here.

“Do you know what tomorrow is?” he asks, visibly excited about whatever it is. But you don’t know what he means, so you don’t know how to answer, and your throat feels clogged with fear.

What is tomorrow?

You’re fumbling, taking too long to answer, you know it, but you want this Dazai, you want him to stay, you want to drag him down to Chuuya and shove it in his face, ‘I told you it’s still him, don’t you see?’, and you want things to go back to how they were. You’re frustrated and panicked trying to come up with an answer for him, and on top of everything, you’re angry at yourself because you don’t know why you still cling so desperately to the boy he used to be after everything he’s done.

His smile starts to fade when you don’t immediately respond, and you blurt out:

“We have a meeting with the Red Chamber tomorrow.”

It’s not the answer he wants—you know it as you say it, but it’s the only thing you can think of.

“Right,” he agrees quietly, smile gone and gaze lowering to the ground. For a moment, he looks disappointed but not surprised, and then he closes off from you again. His eyes empty of excitement, and his expression flattens—the Dazai you loved is gone again just like that. You know you shouldn't feel as gutted as you are, but you are. Not for the first time, you wish that you could rip out that traitorous beating thing in your chest. It would be so much easier if you could hate him. “Come.”

You don’t move immediately, a heaviness settling over you as you watch him pace back over to his desk, lithe fingers flipping through a manila folder lying on top of it. You swallow thickly before making your way over to him. He slides the folder in front of you and shifts so that he’s looking over your shoulder. He’s too close. You can smell the smoke on his breath from the cigarettes he chain-smokes, the whiskey staining his tongue, the familiar metallic scent of blood. Your gaze drags from the folder to the bandages that peek out from under the dark sleeve of his jacket and then up to his face.

He’s already looking at you through his lashes, eye half-lidded. His gaze isn’t empty anymore, it’s heavy, dark. You don’t know what he’s thinking—you used to be able to read him well, but you haven’t been able to in years. You wish you could now more than ever.

“What is this?” you finally ask, voice quiet as you force yourself to look back down at the folder he passed over to you. The file is of an executive of the Red Chamber—an acquaintance of yours who worked to get Cao Xueqin to meet with you and Dazai tomorrow. “Why are you showing me this?”

“This friend of yours—”

“Acquaintance,” you correct with a frown.

“Acquaintance,” he echoes with an empty smile. “I want you to kill him tomorrow.”

What?

You don’t even realize you speak the word that instantly flies through your mind at the order he gives you. You turn to look at him again, and he’s watching you carefully now. You don’t know if this is a real order or if Dazai is just saying something ludicrous to get a reaction out of you. You can never tell with him.

“You heard me,” Dazai replies, dark eye dancing with amusement at your confusion.

“What purpose does that serve, Dazai?” you demand, shaking your head. You want to take a step away from him but his presence is magnetic, a black hole that relentlessly pulls you in. “Baoyu Jia is the closest to an ally that the Port Mafia has inside the Red Chamber. We may as well be shooting ourselves in the foot. You—”

Your words falter when Dazai reaches up with his left hand to grab your chin. He tilts your face up again, but this time, his thumb rests on your lower lip, effectively silencing you. He doesn’t speak for a moment, and you know that it’s a power play—forcing you to look at him, silencing you, and then just holding your gaze, daring you to continue. You want to rip your chin out of his grip and scoff at him.

You don’t.

“Don’t question me,” he finally tells you, voice cold, eye flashing with something indecipherable when he sees the rage that crosses your face, but it fades into disappointment when you don’t say anything.

Did he want you to?

You don’t understand him.

“I don’t do assassinations, Dazai,” you say instead, voice hard. The pads of his fingers are so hot against your skin, and his thumb against your lip feels too heavy. “I handle politics. You know that.”

His grip on your chin tightens just a smidge, there’s a cruel glint in his eye that you don’t like. You brace yourself for whatever he’s about to say, but nothing can prepare you for what he does.

“You slit your own mentor's throat in her sleep,” he says casually, like it wasn’t something you confided in him about when you were at your lowest years ago. “Surely, you can handle an acquaintance.”

You rip your chin from his grip, taking in a sharp breath as you physically step away. You turn your back to him so he doesn’t see the way your throat spasms as you swallow the sudden lump in it, the way your eyes sting with tears at his words. You don’t know what you expect coming up here every time he asks. You don’t know why you still have hope that he’ll treat you the same way he did before he put a knife in your father’s back and draped his red scarf around his shoulders while his corpse was still warm.

You don’t know why you still want him to.

“I hate you,” you breathe out, hating how shaky your voice comes out.

Your breath catches when he takes a step closer to you, chest brushing your back, fingers ghosting your hips. His presence is deceptively warm, considering he has no heart to keep his blood pumping, and you hate the way it makes your hair stand on end. You hate the way he knows because you don’t have to look at him to know that his lips are curved up into an amused smile.

He leans down, breath fanning against the nape of your neck as he whispers, “Then leave.”

You won’t. You don’t. You never do.

One of his hands rests on your hip, fingers deceivingly gentle as he caresses you when his words feel like knives through your back. He lifts the other to graze your jaw, leaning in to brush his lip against where he’d touched before he lets his hand drop back to your side, sliding down your body to join the other on your opposite hip, holding you steady when your knees feel weak.

“Leave,” he tells you softly again. You press your lips together to hold back the moan that nearly tumbles out of your lips when his teeth graze that spot below your ear that makes your knees buckle. Luckily, you have enough control over yourself that your knees don’t give out, but you don’t think you were as successful at muffling the moan as you thought you were because you can feel Dazai’s lips curl up into a smug smirk against your skin. “Go, I won’t stop you.”

You should. You know it even as he resumes the slow, languid kisses down your jaw. You know it when you feel his hands slide from your hips to your upper thighs. You know it when he shifts you forward so that the front of your thighs are flush against his desk, the wood pressing uncomfortably into your skin, and you know how this is going to end. You should leave, you should shove him off of you and go back down to your office, you should give him a hateful look and tell him that the way he touches you makes you sick and you can hardly stand to look at him even if it is a lie just to see if he’s still human enough to be hurt by your words or if he’ll just stare at you with that unnervingly empty gaze that makes you question if Chuuya had been right from the beginning.

But you don’t.

He pauses for a second. His hands go still on your thighs, his lips ghost your pulse point—he’s waiting to see if you’ll leave even though he knows that you won't. You never do. When you don’t move, you hear him take in a sharp breath, and you feel his grip tighten before he slides one hand up your back to fold you over his desk.

Sometimes, you wonder if he wishes you would leave, if he wants you to fight back, if he’s disappointed when you don’t.

You’re still wearing the black slip you wore to meet Mishima and his daughters. You purposely wore it because his daughters have wandering eyes and are prone to letting more information slip when they have something pretty to look at.

“You wore this for them.”

It’s not really a question, but there’s an edge to Dazai’s tone that makes you hold your breath. You turn your head to the side to look at him from the corner of your eye, hoping to catch something on his face, but it’s as blank as ever, entirely unreadable even with you bent over his desk in front of him, hands on your thighs as he slides up your short dress.

“What does it matter?” you ask, voice tight.

You don’t know how you want him to respond, but it’s certainly not with the way he does: “It doesn’t.”

His voice is as cold as it always is when he calls you up to his office for this. He’s never warm, never intimate—it’s always a quick fuck, it’s always over his desk and never in a bed, his fingers are always rough, and he never kisses you, not on the lips. He hasn’t since the two of you were eighteen.

But sometimes you’ll hear his breath hitch when he’s deep inside you, you’ll feel his whole body shudder, fingers digging into you so hard like he’s terrified of letting go, and when you look back, you’ll see Dazai. The Dazai you know, the Dazai you loved, the Dazai you can’t let go of. You see it in his eye when he looks down at you—the adoration and the desperation, the tears that he tries desperately not to let spill over—and in the way his lips part like he wants to say something but can’t bring himself to.

It’s why you keep coming back. It’s why you don’t leave when he tells you to. You cling to the idea that he’s still here like it’s the only thing that keeps you going. A part of you wonders if maybe it is the only thing that still keeps you going because the thought of your Dazai being gone leaves an aching hole in your chest that you don’t think will ever fill.

Sometimes, you wonder if you just imagine it. There’s no hidden intent. There’s no love that he pushes away because he can’t afford the weakness as boss of the Port Mafia; he’s not bringing you up here because he wants to indulge in something he shouldn’t be allowing himself to have. This is just another power play. He just wants to prove that he can have you whenever he wants—that you’re his even after everything he’s done.

You’re just as much of a spoil of war as the scarf around his neck.

He lifts his hand to shift your hair out of the way, and the tips of his fingers brush the nape of your neck. You hear him let out a noise akin to a scoff when he sees the ribbon tied neatly around your throat. There’s a pinprick of satisfaction that flies through you when you get the audible reaction from him.

“You still wear this thing?” He’s careful to keep his voice calm as he asks the question, but you know from the way his fingers are tense against your neck that he’s bothered.

“It was a gift,” you reply quietly, watching him intently. Your cheek presses against the mahogany of his desk. It’s cool against your skin, but you feel like you’re on fire with the fingers of one of his hands digging into your hip and the other resting on your neck. “Why wouldn’t I?”

He leans down a bit more, his chest to your back, weight pressing down on top of you. His hips are flush with your ass, and you can feel him straining against his black slacks. Your lips part in a silent gasp when he presses his lips to the underside of your jaw, trailing slow, wet kisses down your neck.

“You cling to the past too much,” he murmurs against your skin, teeth grazing your pulse point before he bites down far more gently than he usually does. “You need to let go.”

You have a feeling that he’s not just talking about Mori.

“Letting go has never been my strong suit,” you whisper, lashes fluttering shut when he sucks a dark mark into the crook of your neck. Your eyes snap back open when you feel him grab one of the ends of the ribbon, preparing to take it off. You grab his wrist to stop him. “Don’t.”

He pauses, you can feel his sharp gaze trained on the side of your head, but you don’t look at him this time. You don’t want to know what he’s thinking right now—you can tell from his body language that he’s about to make a comment you’re not going to like.

“What a dirty girl you are,” he murmurs, kissing the crook of your neck over the bruise he left on it. It’s deceptively soft, which lets you know whatever he’s about to say is going to twist the knife still lodged in your back. “Letting me fuck you over Mori’s desk while you wear the first gift he gave you… I’m sure he’d be rolling if he knew.”

You physically jerk at his words, head snapping around, a shocked expression on your face, but before you can get out more than a ‘you—’ he uses his foot to knock your legs apart, hand dropping from your hip to slide against the silk material of your panties. You inhale sharply, lips parting in a moan that you can’t catch as Dazai circles his index finger around where your clit is hidden beneath your panties, his lips trail from the crook of your neck to the top of your spine, and he uses his free hand to slide the zipper of your dress down, revealing your bare back to him.

He doesn’t take off the ribbon around your neck.

You almost wish now that he would.

“I hate you,” you say again, but your words catch over another gasp when he starts trailing hot kisses down your spine, fingers pushing your panties to the side so he can slide his fingers between your wet folds. You hate how your body is so quick to react to his touch. “I hate you.”

“So convincing, hime,” he drawls. You choke at the use of the title that Mori gave you as he sinks two fingers inside of you—it’s not his first time saying it, he used to tease you with it all the time four years ago. But it was always a soft teasing, you could see the way the corners of his lips curled up gently and the way his gaze was fond. This is mocking. It’s sharp. It’s the same tone people took when they used the title to insult you, to imply you weren’t worthy of your high-ranking position in the Mafia, that the only reason you had a seat at the table was because of your relationship with Mori. The ribbon around your neck suddenly feels too tight, cutting off the airflow to your lungs. “I can feel your hatred dripping all over my hand.”

“Fuck you,” you spit out, blinking away the tears of frustration that suddenly sting your eyes. Chuuya’s words ring through your head: where’s your fucking self-respect? “Fuck you, Dazai.”

You feel his lips curl up into an unkind smile against your spine. “In due time.”

A part of you wonders if the fleeting sight of the boy you once knew is worth dealing with who he’s become. If the pleasure you feel when he touches you is worth putting up with the cruelty. You enjoy the time you have with him—physically, at least. Dazai knows how to touch you in ways that no one else can compare to; he knows all of the ins and outs of your body and can bring you to the precipice with just a few touches like he’s doing now. You’ve tried seeking out others to warm your bed, but they paled in comparison to the way Dazai makes you feel.

But he knows your mind as well as your body; he knows all of the ways to make you hurt, and he knows how to make it as painful as possible. He reopens a wound slowly with honeyed words and sweet smiles before digging his fingers in and twisting. The hime was intentionally cruel—not just to remind you of Mori, of where you are, of what Dazai did, but also to remind you of who Dazai once was. He was shoving it in your face again, just like Chuuya always says he does—you cling to the past too much, you need to let go.

“I hate you,” you gasp again, but your lashes flutter as he fucks his fingers deep into you, slow and steady—the stretch is pleasant, familiar, dizzying in a way that no one can replicate. He hums against your skin as he drags his tongue back up the length of your spine after he’s left a trail of bruises down it, like he’s marking his territory on you. “I—hah—”

He kisses the nape of your neck at the same time as he presses that spot deep inside you that makes your eyes knockback. You claw at the mahogany of the desk you’re on top of, breath quick and thighs trembling as he leaves you on the edge.

“Things would be so much easier if you did,” he murmurs, and you think you’re not meant to hear it. You try to look back at him, and you catch an oddly resigned expression on his face as he stares down at the marks he left on your spine, the fingers of his free hand tracing them delicately. It’s so out-of-character that it draws you back from the edge, which is what finally pulls him out of whatever trance he was in, something strange crossing his face when he realizes that you caught him staring.

At once, his fingers slip out of your well-stretched hole, and you can’t stop the pitched whine that slips from your lips, breathing heavily as you try to regain your senses after having been brought so close to your high. Your cheek rests back down against the desk, vision a bit blurry as you reel from the loss of his fingers, but you know you won’t have to wait for long because you can hear him undoing his belt, pulling out his cock to use his drenched fingers to stroke his cock before he presses his tip to your entrance.

Your body shudders at the familiar feeling, eyes half-rolled back, just knowing what’s about to happen. You feel him lean over you again, chest to your back, and he lifts his fingers to press the two that were inside of you to your lips. It takes a moment for your gaze to focus on his expectant face, and you’re too out of it to consider turning your head away to be spiteful, lips parting so that he can push his fingers into your mouth, tongue instinctively swirling around them.

Where’s your fucking self-respect?

Again, the question echoes through your mind, but before you have the chance to answer it, Dazai fucks it away as he thrusts forward, hips flush to your ass as he suddenly pushes his cock deep into you. And fuck, if the stretch of his fingers was pleasant, the stretch of his cock is heavenly, the closest to rapture you’ll ever get. The moan of his name that spills out of your lips is garbled and unintelligible around his fingers, and he lets out a breathy noise—a scoff? a moan?—you can’t tell, too focused on the intoxicating feeling of being split open on his cock.

For the first time since you left his office last week, you feel whole, and maybe that’s the reason why you keep coming back. Dazai Osamu has ruined you to the point where you can’t feel whole without him—you need him in you, on you, around you. You want to be consumed by him, you want to consume him. From the day you met him when you were sixteen, you knew it would be him. It was always him, it could only be him. He loved you in a way that you never thought you’d be loved from the moment you met. He had you as early as that night he brought you to the rooftop to tell you the stories of the stars—you were his, and you thought he was yours.

You fell so hard for him, so quickly, it was almost unreal. He understood you in ways nobody else ever did. Sometimes, you swore it felt like he knew you before he ever actually knew you. You’d never felt so seen by someone before, you’d never felt so loved. You spent years alone in Kyoto, and before that, you were following around a man who was hyper-focused on your ability and your failures. Dazai was the first person who saw you for you. He was the first person to make you feel like your life had meaning beyond just furthering the interests of the Port Mafia for Mori.

And Dazai is observant, sure, but you've seen how he interacts with everyone. You studied it carefully because, at first, you were worried that you were reading into things you shouldn’t be, especially with Chuuya’s warnings about him ringing through your head. But the way he saw everyone else was different from how he’d seen you—he saw them for their weaknesses and their faults, so he could exploit them whenever he pleased, but he saw you. He knew you—he knew little things that he had no reason to know, that he couldn’t exploit: how you took your coffee, that you love thrillers and are bored by comedies, he knew your favorite book, your favorite constellation, your favorite color, he knew everything from trivial details to all of the fears that you could never bring yourself to speak out loud.

That’s why you cling to the past, that’s why you keep coming, that’s why you never leave. You can’t accept that he’s gone, you can’t accept that he sees you now the same way he sees everyone else: as a pawn, as someone to exploit. So even if it means having to endure his cruelty and the whirlwind of emotions that follow every meeting with him, if you can get a glimpse of who he used to be, any shred of proof that the boy you loved, the boy who loved you is still there, it makes it worth it. Because it’s easier to deal with cruel words than it is to deal with the loss of meaning in your life that would follow accepting that he's gone. It wouldn’t just be losing him, you would be losing the only other thing that’s kept you moving, too, because Dazai became the Port Mafia as soon as he took over as boss.

The breath you take in around his fingers is ragged. You don’t know why you’re suddenly thinking of this—maybe it’s because Chuuya’s words are haunting you, demanding to know where your self-respect has gone, maybe you just need to rationalize why you’re so dependent on someone who treats you like this. You don’t realize you’re crying until Dazai’s hips suddenly still, and he pulls his fingers from your mouth to grab your chin, turning your head to force you to look at him.

Something strange crosses his face—pain, guilt—and it’s only then that you realize that your vision is blurry, that your cheeks are wet. His throat bobs as he swallows, and he’s uncharacteristically gentle as he uses his thumb to wipe away your tears. His hand drops from your face, and you lay your head back down on the desk, taking in a shuddered breath when Dazai rests his weight on top of you. He kisses your shoulder blade, and he kisses up to the crook of your neck again before burying his face in it for a moment—it’s almost intimate, it almost feels like an apology, but you know better than to hope for that.

You don’t know how long you lay there with him like that, but you bask in the intimacy he rarely allows you. One of his hands runs up and down your side soothingly, his breath steady against your neck, you can feel his heartbeat against your back.

A reminder that he’s alive, a reminder that Chuuya is wrong.

For a second, your Dazai is back. The Dazai that loved you.

It’s only when your breathing starts to steady and the tears stop rolling over your cheeks that Dazai finally moves, but it’s not to pick up where he stopped. Your lungs are drained of the air within them when you feel him move away from you, when you hear him tuck himself back into his pants, when his fingers brush the small of your back to zip your dress back up. Just like that, you’re left hollow again, a shell, half of a whole without him to complete you.

“Dazai—”

“Get out,” he says, voice cold and sharp. It’s not the same teasing ‘then leave’ he says every time you come in. It causes a pit to form in your gut, uncertainty riddling you as you stand up unsteadily. His back is to you, hands out of sight in front of him as he looks out the window over the skyline of the city, only lit up by various buildings now that night has fallen.

“But—”

“Get out,” he repeats, harsher this time. “That’s an order. Don’t question me. And don’t make me say it again.”

Your throat swells as you stare at the back of his head in disbelief. “I—”

“Now.”

You feel sick to your stomach, straightening out your dress as best as you can, fixing your hair, and making sure your makeup isn’t terribly smeared. You don’t dare to look at him, you think you might cry if you do. So you set your gaze on the far wall as you fix yourself up, not looking back even when you hear him moving.

Once you feel somewhat presentable, you raise your chin and make your way out of his office, only pausing when you get to the double doors to spare a short glance behind you. Dazai is sitting at his desk, face buried in his hands, fingers trembling almost as much as his shoulders are shaking. Your throat swells—you want to say something.

You know better.

You leave his office quietly, making sure to hold yourself together as you walk past his curious guards. You know they must have an idea of what goes down in his office when you’re called up; they’re probably the reason why so many rumors circle around about you sleeping your way into an executive position, but you refuse to let them see you with your head hanging, so you only meet their curious stares with a cold one of your own before taking the elevator back down to your floor.

It doesn’t take long for you to get down to your office, and you inhale as you brace yourself for your subordinates’ attention, but you freeze when the elevator doors open and you’re met with an empty hall. This hall is never empty, and it’s only when you see Chuuya waiting for you at the end of it near your office that you realize he must have cleared them out.

His expression is taut, but his eyes are gentle as they roam over you, and you let out a wet, shaky breath when you realize that he’s here to make sure you aren’t alone even after the argument the two of you had. You take one step toward him, and then another, and then you’re breaking over a sob and rushing toward him a bit faster—he meets you halfway, strong arms circling your waist as you cling to his shoulders.

“It’s not—” You don’t even know what you’re trying to say as you choke over your words. “It’s not simple, Chuuya. I can’t just—you don’t understand—”

“I know,” he murmurs, turning his head to the side to press his lips to your temple. “I’m sorry. Let’s get out of here, yeah?”

“... Yeah.”

———

You’re already wasted by the time you get to the bar with Chuuya. The two of you went to his penthouse to drink away your sorrows before Albatross started spam-texting you, trying to get you to come to the bar with them. Chuuya was planning on ignoring him and spending the night relaxing with you, but you didn’t want them to think something was wrong, so, against better judgment, you ended up making your way to meet them.

They’re already there and several drinks in by the time you and Chuuya arrive. You’re still steady on your feet, but you can feel the wine that the two of you had been drinking getting to your head. You just want a nice night, you want to forget about Dazai, you want to get drunk with your friends, and maybe if you’re feeling especially spiteful, bring someone back to your bed because you know it will get back to Dazai because everything gets back to Dazai.

No, you remind yourself, no more thinking of Dazai tonight. Even in spite.

Unfortunately, your hopes are crushed the moment you approach the private booth where the Flags are drinking.

“Do you hear half of the shit they say about her?” Iceman asks, not realizing that you and Chuuya are approaching. “I beat the shit out of one of my own subordinates who thought it would be okay to say shit about her around me. When the fuck did they start getting so bold?”

“I’m just worried about her,” Lippmann murmurs as he takes a sip of his drink. “You haven’t seen her lately, she’s…”

Great, you think, teeth grinding together as you try to push their words out of your mind. Chuuya squeezes your bicep before his arm drops from around you, clearing his throat and giving Iceman a heavy side-eye. Iceman and Lippmann, to their credit, do go quiet when they realize that you overheard what they said.

You force a smile onto your face as you move forward to take a seat in the booth, knocking your hip against Albatross to force him to move in. Chuuya sits on your other side, squeezing you between the two of them. You reach out to take Albatross’s drink from him, not caring what it is or what it might be laced with knowing the older boy, you just want to fucking forget about Dazai tonight, and if that means consuming Albatross’s questionable choice of liquor, then so be it.

“You guys are so dramatic,” you say. “I’m fine.”

You can tell that they don’t believe you. Lippmann and Iceman exchange a long look with one another, and Doc’s gaze lowers to the table. The corner of your lips waver, throat tight as you look down at the drink in your hands before taking a long swig of it. The plain vodka nearly makes you gag, but there’s an odd sweet aftertaste that leaves you a bit suspicious. Before you can swallow, you feel Albatross toss an arm around your shoulders and drag you into him, causing you to nearly choke over the liquid.

“I knew you’d come out,” Albatross croons, pressing his face hard into the side of your head and nuzzling. He kisses your temple obnoxiously twice before licking your cheek; you slap him away with a scowl. “My favorite girl’d never let me down like that.”

His sunglasses hang off the bridge of his nose, and when you see the way his pupils are the size of nickels, you start to question what exactly is in the drink you just took from him. He seems to know exactly what you’re thinking from the way he tosses a wink at you and leans back against the booth, arm still snug around your shoulder.

“It’ll make you feel good,” he promises with a sharp smile before turning to Doc. “Hey, so about that…”

You tune Albatross out as you turn your attention back to Chuuya, who gives the glass in your hands a reproachful look but otherwise doesn’t say anything else. You give him a pointed stare before you take a sip of it, you don’t have to look at him to know he’s rolling his eyes at you.

You turn your attention to Iceman and say, “You should probably stop going out of your way to defend me. Otherwise, there’s just going to be more rumors about me spreading my legs for the whole upper echelon. They already say I’m sleeping with Chuuya, Albatross, and Piano Man too.”

Piano Man’s expression twists in disgust at your words, immediately taking another sip of his drink, and Albatross quiets down, looking at you from the corner of his eye. Chuuya only gives you a heavy look that you can’t bring yourself to look at him.

“So you just want us to let them talk about you like that?” Iceman asks with a frown, taking a long drag of his cigarette. “They’re tearing your reputation to shreds.”

“It works in my favor,” you reply, although your voice is strained as you say the words, lips pressing together as you look down at your drink. “It makes it easier during negotiations, our enemies aren’t as guarded because they think I wasn’t given my position through merit.”

“Bullshit,” Iceman snaps, the corner of his lips curling into a sneer at your words. You shoot him a flinty look, but he’s unrepentant. “You can sit there trying to convince yourself that to make yourself feel better, but not me. I’m not going to sit and let my subordinates disrespect one of our executives.”

“Rich, considering how you talk about Dazai behind closed doors,” you say lightly, but your fingers are tight around your glass as you take another sip. Dazai’s name feels like ash on your tongue, a heavy feeling settling over your chest as you remember what happened in his office—weren’t you supposed to forget about him for the night?

Always running to his defense, all for him to treat you like a whore.

You think Chuuya is reminded of his words from earlier, too, because you see his throat spasm as he looks down at the table. The moment Dazai’s name is spoken, the tension at the table spikes—sharp and sudden. You’ve never confronted them about their resentment toward their boss. It’s always been an unspoken rule, a line carefully danced around but never crossed. They respect him, acknowledge how he’s elevated the Port Mafia to new heights, but his name still leaves a bitter taste in their mouths—especially when it comes to his treatment of you and Chuuya.

But it’s more than that. It’s not just bitterness and resentment—they don’t understand him. They never did, even before he took over as boss. To them, Dazai is something cold, something wrong, something inhuman. They prescribe to the same belief Chuuya has: Dazai Osamu died seven years ago, and the thing living on the top floor of the building is a husk that wears his face. He doesn’t think like they do, doesn’t feel like they do. When they report casualties from missions, he turns a vacant gaze on them and tells them to leave; you don’t think they ever fully got over how he murdered Mori and how he treated you afterward. He’s a machine—a monster—in the shape of a man, all calculations and sharp edges where warmth should be. They might fear him, might even admire all he’s done for the Port Mafia, but they’ll never trust him, and they’ll never like him.

On nights like this, when you all have a few drinks in you, they get a bit bolder with their opinions—especially Doc and Iceman. You made a mistake bringing him up, you don’t want to argue with them—not tonight, not after you argued with both Chuuya and Dazai already. You’re so tired, you just wanted a nice night out after how shitty the rest of your day had been.

“Oh my,” Piano Man sighs airily.

“Come on, guys,” Albatross complains. “Can we not?”

But Iceman has a temper. The table shakes as his fist drops onto it, he leans over to get closer to you, putting his cigarette out on the ashtray. “It’s because of that bastard that half of the fucking Mafia thinks you’re a walking fleshlight—”

“Jesus Christ, Iceman,” Chuuya spits, interrupting him as he slams his hands against the table and rises to his feet. You don’t react to the comment—it’s nothing you don’t know, nothing you’re not used to hearing in whispers. You finish the glass of vodka, that sweet aftertaste lingering in your mouth. “Watch your goddamn mouth.”

“Come on, man,” Albatross complains again, rubbing his face. “Too far.”

“I’m only repeating what I have to hear,” Iceman says, holding his hands up before he lights another cigarette. You can tell he’s upset because it takes three tries for him to get it lit, fumbling with the lighter. “What I have to hear because of how he fuckin’ treats her, only for her to keep defending him.”

You should be angry, you think, but whatever was in Albatross’s drinks must be working because all you can feel is a dull haze as your fingers thrum against the tabletop.

“I have free will,” you say, voice distant even to your own ears. Doc raises his eyebrows and looks down at the table, not commenting but making his position clear with how he gives you a long look. “I choose to go up there, I let him fuck me. Albatross whores himself out like no tomorrow. He spends every night in a different person’s bed. Why is it an issue when I fuck one guy?”

“Yo, why am I catching strays?”

“Because of the optics of it,” Doc replies, ignoring Albatross as he fiddles with something under the table. “Because of who you are, who he is. Because of how it looks.”

“I know the first thing Kitada-san taught you was the importance of optics,” Lippmann agrees quietly. “He knows, too. He could have anyone he wants, there’s no reason for him to be letting the Mafia drag your name through the mud like this.”

The thought of Dazai with anyone else makes you feel distinctly unsettled to the point where the intoxicated haze starts to abruptly fade away.

“He could easily find a whore to fuck if that’s what he wants,” Iceman adds with a scoff. “He knows what he’s doing to you by making you spread your legs for him, he knows how it looks on you. On both of you.”

And just like that, lines are drawn. Doc, Lippmann, and Iceman are on one side; you, Chuuya, and Albatross on the other. Piano Man remains in the middle, ready to intervene if things escalate. Though you know Chuuya and Albatross agree with the other three, they’ll always take your side in public, and you know the other three are only angry because they’re angry on your behalf, but it makes you sick to your stomach to know that they think… they think what? That Dazai calls you up there, and you have no say in the matter, that you let him on you, in you, because you can’t say no to the boss and not because you want it.

“I don’t give a shit,” you say tightly. “He’s not making me do anything. If I want to fuck Dazai, then I’ll fuck Dazai. If I don’t want to fuck him, I won’t fuck him.”

“Right,” Iceman drawls sarcastically. “You think that piece of shit gives a fuck about what you want?”

The rage hits you suddenly—you don’t know if it’s the alcohol, the stress that’s been weighing on you all day, or whatever Albatross had in his drink, but it makes your vision go red too quickly for you to control. You rise to your feet, the table shaking as your palms hit it hard—you think it must be a combination of the alcohol and whatever was in Albatross’s drink because you don’t even feel the pain you should feel when a piece of glass cuts into your hand.

“What the fuck does that mean?” you demand.

Iceman raises his chin, exhaling a cloud of smoke before he says coolly, “Exactly what it implies.”

“Fuck you,” you reply, eyes stinging with sudden tears as you stare down at Iceman. The older man has the decency to at least look ashamed when he sees your reaction, but he’s unapologetic otherwise. “You don’t know shit about Dazai, and you clearly don’t know shit about me either. This was a mistake.”

You move to leave, but Chuuya is in your way. Glaring down at him, you snap, “Move.”

“You’re drunk and fucked up on whatever Albatross is on,” Chuuya says, disagreeing, but when your face twists in frustration, he lets out a heavy sigh and moves out of the way. “Let me come with you.”

“I just need some air,” you say, voice rougher than you intended as you stumble out of the booth. “I’ll be back.”

Distantly, you hear Albatross spitting something at Iceman, and you can hear the anger dripping from his tone. Albatross never gets angry, and you don’t know why that makes you tear up more. You feel too suffocated in the bar; you can feel too many eyes on you, and you just can’t breathe. You slap away the hand of an attendant who tries to help you when you stumble, pushing the door open and greedily inhaling the cool air of the midsummer night.

You rest your back against the wall of the building, trying not to let the tears in your eyes roll over your cheeks. You don’t know why today has left you so emotional—it’s just like any other day you meet Dazai. You argue with Chuuya, you go to meet Dazai, and then you deal with all of the emotions that the meeting drags up. Maybe it’s just that you’re drained from dealing with the Mishimas all day, or maybe it’s because Chuuya didn’t have to spend hours trying to calm down before he came back to you, or maybe it’s because you don’t know what went so wrong earlier with Dazai.

You still don’t fully understand why you spiraled so much. More than that, you wish you hadn’t left when Dazai had told you to. The way his fingers were trembling, the way his shoulders were shaking—there was no hiding that he was crying, and you think that if maybe you’d stayed, if you tried to press a little harder, you might’ve been able to get some answers out of him at last.

You take in a wet, shuddered breath as you try to get ahold of yourself. You miss Dazai, you miss how things used to be, and you don’t know how much more you can take of whatever this is.

You hear noise from your left, and you think that Chuuya or one of the Flags came out to check on you, but you’re startled by an unfamiliar face staring down at you, expression unreadable.

“Who-”

You yelp when his hand darts out to grab your arm. He tugs you into his chest harshly, and you don’t even have time to scream for Chuuya before there's a rag being placed over your mouth. Your hand claws at his wrist when the familiar sharp scent meets your nose, but it’s to no avail. You find your vision darkening and your knees going out—and the last thing you think of before everything goes black is him.

#dazai x reader #dazai x you #dazai smut #dazai osamu x reader #dazai osamu x you #dazai osamu smut #bsd x reader #bsd x you #bsd smut #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs smut #bungo stray dogs x you

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p1astr81 · 2 days ago

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friend is just a word

In which: you’re drunk off your ass and accidentally mistake formula one driver for a friend.

Pairing: oscar piastri x fem!reader

warnings: excessive alcohol consumption, not proofread😵‍💫

an: TYSM FOR 600 FOLLOWERS🥳🥳🥳

The music was blasting, light flares obstructing your vision while you tried to stumble back to your friends on weakening legs. The drink in your hand kissed the rim off the glass every now and then, but you hadn’t spilt any of it.

Your shoulder bumped into another, and you went to apologize, but your thoughts were thrown off by his familiar face.

If his face was familiar, he had to be a friend. Right?

A hand of yours gripped onto his shoulder for stability. He eyed the hand with a raised brow, but neglected to verbally question it.

It felt like your brain was trying to communicate with you, but it couldn’t penetrate the fog caused by the alcohol. “I didn’t know you were here!” His brown hair flopped when he flinched away from you, your voice far too loud for his ears to bare. “How have you been?! I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever!”

“Uh, good. I guess?” You didn’t catch his nervous glances.

“That’s amazing! You know, I’ve been meaning to tell you that I got that call back about the job with sky sports.”

He raised his brows in interest. “Oh really? What for?” His head cocked to the side.

“A second interview! I didn’t even know they did second interviews. I thought it was just one and done!” You laughed, an irregular high-pitched sound.

By now, Oscar was quite sure you weren’t aware of who he really was. Just that you thought you knew him. “Probably so they know you won’t bother the drivers.”

You feigned offense. “What! I would never do such a thing!”

Ironic, Oscar thought, you’re kind of doing it right now. But he didn’t really care. He actually found it kind of amusing.

He chuckled. “No, I’m sure you’d never bother them.”

You folded over in laughter. He didn’t even know he said anything funny. “Oh, you are too funny, Oscar!” You pretended to wipe a tear.

Strangely, that action might’ve brought you to your senses.

“Piastri.” Was the only word you spoke. It sat on the fringes of inaudible.

The panic that washed over your features was too humorous. He couldn’t not grin.

And then you went white. “I’m so sorry. I thought- oh, god.” You hid your face behind your hand. “I did not mean to bother you. I thought you were one of my friends.”

Oscar only chuckled. “I figured. No worries. It was pretty funny to watch.”

Maybe, just maybe, a part of him was glad it was him and not some other random guy in the bar.

“I’m gonna- yeah I’m gonna go back to my actually friends now.” You rambled. “Sorry!” A squeak.

The conversation didn’t end when you left, because then he had to return to his own party. Lando made fun of him for it.

“Awe! Osco finally found a girlfriend!” He teased, earning a head shake from Oscar.

“She was just drunk.” He waved off.

But lando wouldn’t let up. The whole night, he made off handed comments. He pointed her out anytime he saw her. And at one point,

“I’m gonna go talk to her. Be a wingman.” He flashed Oscar a toothy, mischievous grin and winked at him. Before Oscar could object, he was off.

You were laughing your ass off at something one of your friends said when a slightly slurred, British voice interjected. “Hey girls!” He greeted the group, a bright smile, before turning his gaze to you. “Hi.” He repeated, trying not to laugh at your overly shocked expression. “You see that guy in the blue shirt? Yeah, he wants your number but is too much of a pussy to ask for it himself, so here I am.” He explained with copious amounts of amusement.

Your brain took a minute to catch up with him. “Uh, uhm- yeah. Sure. I guess. Uh.” You scrambled to find something to write on and write with. “I have no paper.”

“Right.” Lando handed you his phone, open to the notes app. He couldn’t stop grinning as your fingers fumbled to type in your number, and when he said his goodbyes, and when he returned to Oscar.

“Got it. You can thank me by making me your best man.” He shrugged, too cocky for how easy the situation was.

“Yeah, whatever.” Oscar dismissed, but he took the number and saved it in his phone anyway.

He made a mental note to call you tomorrow, after your inevitable hangovers faded away.

#f1 x reader #f1 #formula 1 #formula 1 x reader #f1 blurb #f1 fluff #op81 #f1 x you #oscar piastri x you #oscar piastri one shot #oscar piastri imagine #oscar piastri #oscar piastri x reader #oscar piastri x fem!reader #oscar piastri blurb

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alchemistc · 2 days ago

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my heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue

Tommy blinks awake and immediately wishes he hadn't. This is his third time waking up, and apparently they listened to him when he asked them to slow down his morphine drip because everything hurts.

The busted leg he remembers - they'd kept him awake long enough to explain that they'd do everything they could to keep it but... Well. No buts, in the end, just titanium and enough pins to make sure he'll never get through TSA quickly ever again. Thank fuck most of his flying he does on his own.

Christ, if he has to get recertified...

Fractured ribs, a punctured lung, three broken fingers but thank god his arms had survived relatively intact.

The bruising on his face screams before the rest of it does, which is just - it's silly, actually, that somewhere in his head he's thinking about how awful he must look. Of course he looks fucking awful, he survived a helicopter crash. Why would he look great? He should look as bad as he feels.

On a scale from 1 to Fuck Off he's very firmly toeing the line into Go Screw Yourself.

The knock startles him.

The startle wrenches something in his neck area, and Tommy groans through the pain. Shit. Screw his dad just that little bit more for providing the perfect genetics for a proclivity for addiction.

Evan.

He's standing at the door, looking apologetic, head ducked a little like he does when he either wants something, or thinks he's done something wrong. Puppy eyes, he'd heard Hen call it once, while she mimed barfing, because Tommy thought it was adorable.

He still thinks it's adorable.

Fuck.

"Hey," he says, in his Hospital Voice. (Tommy is new to this voice, but he's growing more used to it, now: third time awake and it's the third time Evan's been there. In a chair at his side, flirting with a nurse while he wrote on Tommy's chart, now perched in the doorframe looking... a bit grungy if Tommy's being honest. Like he hasn't slept in days. Like those are the same clothes Tommy first saw him in.

Evan dances in the door and it's the first time he's noticed that one of his arms is tucked behind his back. "If that's a bouquet you should know I'm allergic," Tommy says, and doesn't hate the way his voice sounds quite as much as he has in recent memory. He's almost managed to get back the ironic lilt.

Evan's smile widens. "You're lying, and besides, you can't be allergic to every flower. Are you allergic to the corpse flower?" He pauses. Narrows his eyes like he's heading Tommy off at the pass. "You can't say the smell is as bad as the allergies would be."

"I feel like a corpse flower," Tommy intones, and he wonders - is that - is this what - they're just not gonna talk about it? What he'd said, in the air, with half the public servants of the city listening in? Or the fact that Evan hasn't left this hospital in two days? Or whatever he's still hiding behind his back?

Evan steps into the room. Rolls his shoulders with a shit-eating grin. Brandishes the item he's been hiding - a stuffed chicken. There's something sticking to the end of one leg, and Tommy squints to try to make it out. Looks like -

"Bobby got it for you! He said you'd know what the knife was for."

Tommy groans, tips his chin against his pillow, groans again because the pain is radiating throughout his body. Evan steps closer.

"I really wish you'd at least let them give you the muscle relaxants," Evan murmurs, closer, so much closer. Hand on the bed, fingers lifted like he's thinking about squeezing Tommy's thigh, and god - god, he wants that. But they can't just - they're in this whole mess because they talk around shit instead of about it.

Evan sets the chicken on the table next to the bed. His smile is loose and light, but his eyes are worried.

"I'm still pissed they put me on a morphine drip that first day, Evan, it's in my chart not to -." Evan bridges the gap, distracting Tommy thoroughly - fingers soft and light, careful, sliding across his thigh and dangerously close to the crease of his groin. Even if he weren't in a hospital bed he's in way too much pain to even think of getting it up but it's compelling. It's distracting. Tommy never wants him to move his hand.

"Hey," he says, and Tommy blinks. Frowns. Drinks in the sight of Evan's plaintive head tilt and tries to breathe. He hasn't really been this lucid, before. "I have one more thing for you."

Tommy raises a brow. Clenches his jaw. Tries not to freak the fuck out when Evan reaches for the pocket of his likely rank flannel and pulls out a suspiciously small box. No. No, absolutely not, has he learned nothing from Tommy's multiple attempts to get him to slow down.

Evan pops the lid.

Tommy feels the hysterical laughter bubbling in his chest and tries to push it down because laughing right now would jostle so many fucking things and he can't -

"So. Um. I know we - I know we still need to - to sit down and, like. Talk. About things," Evan says, while Tommy stares at the metal-on-velvet. "A-and this isn't me asking for anything. I'm just..." He presses a fist to his eyes, rubs, fingers opening to rub at the scruff on his jaw. "So. I have a spare room. And you won't be able to manage stairs for a minute, and - and I have, like, so much PTO, Tommy, an insane amount of it, and I just thought. While you get your bearings..." Tommy watches him, still quiet. "It really sucked being on my own dealing with a bum leg. And - maybe - maybe we take some time to talk. Crack open that champagne once your doctor clears it."

Tommy stares. Tommy contemplates. Tommy sucks in a deep breath and swallows hard.

"You want me to sleep in the spare room?"

One of Evan's hands is still on his thigh. The other is still palming a house key. His grin is wry. "I would like nothing less, but I thought I'd offer."

Tommy's hand has been creeping steadily towards the one on his leg for a minute now. He makes the final effort, curls fingers around Evans wrist. "Please tell me your mattress is off the floor."

"There's even a top sheet."

Tommy feels his lip quirking. It had been an almost-argument, a generational gap they couldn't bridge, something so small and silly it hadn't seemed worth the time to fight about it when there were better things they could be doing with the bed. He wishes they'd fought about it. He hopes they have a thousand fights ahead of them.

Tommy releases the hand circling Evans wrist, palms the key. Evan beams.

"It's not exactly traditional, but, uh - you have the one watch you refuse to take off for anything, and I wasn't gonna make you like, a paper crane, so..."

"Traditi - Evan, what?"

His smile goes a little coy. "I know there's like, a break in there, or whatever, but - uh - happy anniversary."

Tommy wants to cry. He wants to grin until his lips hurt as much as the rest of him. He wants -

"Come down here and kiss me, you lunatic," Tommy says, and Evan grins as he obliges.

#bucktommy #bucktommy fic #tevan fic #crash! that! helicopter!#(coda)

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mouseplaid · 3 days ago

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buffy: had a hard day, is pissed off and walks by a pet store, decides spike needs to be punished because its his fault she had a bad day and she wants to go to him

buffy: if you wanna have sex with me youre gonna have to wear this.

spike, who just got so horny he almost blacked out after he saw the dog collar buffys holding: c-can you put it on me i cant feel my hands

#spuffy #buffy the vampire slayer #btvs #buffy summers #spike #spike btvs #does anyone else see the vision.#i love them sooo much oh my god

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enavstars · 1 day ago

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I wanted to do this in digital but I don't have the time right now.

For context I hc Rin and Obito as 2 years older than Kakashi, so Kakashi was 12 during Kannabi and Rin and Obito 14.

I don't usually draw Rin that much but I absolutely love her and plan to do more with her. It's funny because when I first watched the show I didn’t like her. It wasn't until I began to read fanfics and saw all the headcanons and interpretations of her character here on tumblr that I started to like her. So thank you all for that <3<3

So here are some (bits of how I see her/of my my headcanons about her) on her relationship with Kakashi.

Rin used to idealize Kakashi, so ended up crushing on him. And Kakashi really did carry himself with a lot of self-confidence and strenght, always giving that prodigy vibes. So Rin being a kid didn't realize how young Kakashi actually is.

This changes after the Kannabi bridge mission. Kakashi, whose body is still adapting to his Sharingan, is unable to keep the confident facade due to the inmense pain he's in (I can expand on this in another post if you'd like), so he looks extremely vulnerable and small.

After seeing Kakashi in this state, Rin can't ignore anymore that Kakashi is a kid even younger than herself and inmediately drops her crush.

So now Rin sees Kakashi as more like a little brother, and she decides to look after him. (This comes from what little caracterization we have in canon of her. In the scene where Obito dies, while Kakashi is crying and shaking, Rin inmediately stops crying when Obito asks her to do the transplant, showing her incredible mental strength).

And she takes care of Kakashi not just because she understands how important he was to Obito, but also as a way to cope, in the same selfless (but unhealthy) way she's always known. She needs this, needs to take care of someone vulnerable to help herself. After all, she was really messed up by Konoha and the war, she is still a child soldier who got her obsession with being useful to the village drilled into her head. So she distracts herself from her own grief by helping Kakashi with his, thinking it's what Obito would have wanted, even if it's slowly destroying her.

Because here's the thing, Rin underestimates how important she truly was to Obito and prioritizes Kakashi over her, in the same way Kakashi prioritizes Rin. Neither realizes that both of them were the most important people to Obito.

So in summary, Rin seals her own pain and refuses to cry or show weakness in front of Kakashi (supporting him like she supported Obito) but at the same time she spends most of her time with him with the excuse that she’s helping him with the pain from the Sharingan.

They sometimes sleep in the same hospital bed, hugging and exhausted, and then there can be heard soft sobs and sniffles. But it's impossible to know which one of them is making those noises.

#canon will say Rin was the center of Team Minato but it was actually Obito #Also for clarification I know Obito had a deeper relationship with Rin than Kakashi when they were in the team #but this is about what Rin thinks and it's true that Obito’s precious people have always been Rin and Kakashi #I'd like to explore Rin and Obito’s relationship too but I want to do a deeper analysis on the canon before #art #sketch #naruto #kakashi hatake #rin nohara

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jade-jini · 3 days ago

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/jade-jini/736010537938403328/im-sorry-for-not-posting-in-like-forever-but-im?source=share

PLEASE WRITE THE SECOND PART I BEG YOU

(This pic omg I wanna gnaw on her shoulders, Also I want to apologize for how long this sht is. )

Warning: Smut, multiple times. G!P reader.

14k fuckin words 😭

Somebody commented it on the first part but sigh how do I write this. Aeri and lactation kink, yes there I said it (also I’m sorry if I sound ignorant, idk much about this-). My bad, I got carried away with the lore.

————————————————————————

Let’s picture this; rich girl! Aeri, as in Diva Giselle. Bad bitch who always gets what she wants, and what does she want? You.

As daddy’s girl, she’s spoiled af, but not stupid nor ignorant to stuff. In fact, she’s her dad’s best counselor when it comes to certain decisions about the company, but she prefers to keep it as an unofficial position, Aeri loves her free time too much. That was, until she saw the new employee (at least she thought you were new ‘cause she had never noticed you before in these floors and offices that were rather for the more important executives).

Ah, so you were the one she’s heard about. That one employee who started at a rather lower position and was able to expand and work with this big idea (idea that Aeri actually proposed:D) to such level that you were offered a nice promotion.

“Hm, one with brains, that’s a first…” Aeri thought as she was eyeing you for the first time, up and down “I like that.”

You were nervous. Only recently you went from some executive’s rookie assistant to being offered a position ABOVE him (😭), and currently also a project manager.

Now, you were having this type of unofficial meeting with 2 directors, a senior manager, and the CEO of the company, Mr. Uchinaga, who had brought his daughter (who was none other than the person who proposed and planned the project that gave you the chance to prove your potential). Thankfully, the three other people you were working with (and who you knew were close with the boss) were kind and supportive, knowing you had potential but not so much experience with such a heavy position. You weren’t expecting the team around you to be so kind and cooperative, not with what you’ve heard of powerful and rich people. But you were thankful that you got lucky enough to have that good environment around you.

The short meeting at the CEO’s office went nice and smooth, just clarifying some points and expectations. You knew the boss was carefully listening to your words, with a strict look, but pleased with the answers you were giving so far. You learned he was a serious and straightforward person, but always respectful and clearly with the best intentions for his company and employees. That helped your nervous state, but the way his daughter was quiet the whole time as she just stared at you with a look you couldn’t read… didn’t help much. It was intimidating, to say the least. She wouldn’t stop eyeing you up and down, making you feel so exposed that you had to adjust yourself on your seat and clear your throat (and gulp lmao) multiple times throughout the conversation. You thanked God you brought a file for the project, which she and her dad quietly read, giving you a break from her intense stare. However, her face was so unexpressive you didn’t know if she liked or hated what you worked on. Or maybe simply didn't care. She seemed to approve though, because she gave a nod to her dad, and one of the directors slightly grabbed your leg and winked at you with a smile, so you assumed this was a very good sign.

You covered a sigh of relief once the others got up and started saying their goodbyes to both the boss and his daughter, who respectfully but uninterestedly did the same. You tried to pay attention to what your superiors were saying as you four walked down the hallway, the senior manager asking you to stop at her office so she could give you some documents to work on, and you nodded to it, but your mind was stuck on Aeri. In the way her leather skirt slightly moved when she crossed her legs. You shook your head, scolding yourself mentally. You didn’t want to allow your mind to go there about a girl you just met. Specially not a girl in her position. “Too dangerous” you told yourself.

————————————————————————

“Yeah. She seems like a brilliant young lady, a lot of potential right there.” Mr. Uchinaga commented to his daughter when she asked about you, excusing it with wanting to know a bit since she’s never seen you before.“she’s still on probation, though. She did good with your project idea, now it’s her time to show if she’s stable and responsible enough for this position. Not just some lucky strike, you know what I mean?”

“You seemed satisfied with every answer she gave you earlier though” she reminded her dad with a smile “almost like she could read your mind. And you were doing your best to play it off. So mean, daddy” she giggled. Mr. Uchinaga rolled his eyes at his daughter.

“Well if I react too much, people are going to think the bare minimum is enough to satisfy me. She did very good, but I need to make sure they all know it’s not an easy job and they gotta do beyond their best. That’s how you incentivize them.” He said as he poured himself a cup of coffee and gave it a good sip, letting out a satisfied and happy sound “Except this coffee. This coffee always does a perfect job. No notes!"

Aeri rolled her eyes as she smiled and shook her head, looking at one of the documents you left in the office for them to review.

“Plus, I don’t know what you’re scolding me about. You didn’t even talk to the kid. Honestly if you weren’t checking those documents like you KINDA cared, I would’ve thought you were about to abandon this building in the middle of the meeting, dear.”

“I just didn’t have much to say. You know I don’t like meetings or any of this office stuff, daddy” Aeri said nonchalantly.

“Oh I know” the old man sighed “I still appreciate you decided to join this one. Come here!” He said as he caught her daughter by surprised with a bear hug lol. Aeri complained, but couldn’t suppress a giggle.

“Dad, you’re causing almost as many wrinkles on my clothes as the ones you have on your face. Put me down!”

————————————————————————

For someone who has been spending so much time thinking about Aeri, you sure as hell looked surprised when the literal creator of the project you’re the manager of appeared in front of your office with questions about it.

“Hello? did you hear me?” She called, waving her hand in front of your face “can I come in or not?”

You shook your head and cleared your throat, getting out of your trance and moving out of the way for her to enter “of course! What can I do for you?” You stuttered as you nervously rubbed your hands together. “Would you like some coffee? Let me get you some coffee-”

“Ms. Y/l/n I can get that for you” your secretary kindly suggested. You were still so not used to having one, but Eunjoo was so patient and kind, and around your same age, so it made it easier.

“Oh no no don’t worry, I don’t wanna bother you” you said with a nervous giggle.

“It’s my job, ma’am, No bother” she insisted already getting up, but Aeri stopped her.

“Don’t worry, Eunjoo. I already had coffee earlier, just make sure nobody bother us will ya? Thank you. ” Aeri said with a smile you weren’t sure was genuine or not. Your secretary simply answer with a ‘yes Ms. Uchinaga’ and sat back down to continue her job. Aeri closed the door and walked inside your office as if it was hers. But that’s how she walked and acted everywhere, like it was hers. That’s that confident attitude she had. That intimidating behavior and charisma flying through the air whenever she was present.

She wondered how exactly to start the conversation. I mean, she didn't wanna be to aggressive about it, but honestly she also wasn't one to care much how people took her words. She was gonna tell you what was on her mind, and you could do whatever you pleased with that. When she received a few new pages of the edited project just the day before, she noticed the changes you had made, and decided to talk to you about it personally. I mean, it was the project she started, and she never saw mistakes on her plans, so why did you make so many changes? and why did she care much anyways? maybe an excuse to see you again. No wonder she had been around the office more often the last week. It made her dad happy though.

The young woman stared at you, like she was waiting for something. Confused, you looked away and back to her “yes?”

“You’re not gonna sit down?” She asked with an obvious tone. Nervously, you quickly sat on a small chair close to the door. Aeri sighed and you looked at her getting worried.

“What?” You asked, not understanding why she was staring at you like you were doing something wrong.

“Don’t you prefer to sit somewhere else? I don’t know, on your own chair and desk maybe? since this is your office?” She asked sarcastically while pointing at the objects, finding it ridiculously funny how clearly new and unfamiliar you were with your new position in the business hierarchy.

“Ah! of course! Heh..” you nervously laughed as you hurried to your corresponding seat. “My chair, with my desk” you patted the table in front of you “in my office.” You smiled so innocently that it made Aeri’s eyes shine with how cute you were. But she didn’t wanna show that side. The Japanese girl simply sat in front of you, putting the same project binder you gave her and her dad some days ago. Aeri had actually been studying it in more detail (well-), and caught a few details that you seemed to have changed from her original idea. You looked at it as it rested on your desk, frowning your eyebrows a bit as you now looked at Aeri, waiting for her to start.

“I’ve noticed you took certain.. creative freedom with my project, right?” She started, opening the documents and going through it. “For example, here. It seems you have an interest in adding trade shows. This company is already well known, y/n, we don’t really need this” she remarked, as if the subjection of investing time and any effort on it was absurd. However, this is something you had discussed with the other members that were working on the project, and they seemed to agree very well with your subjection, that’s why you were so sure to add it to the project.

“Well, yes of course the company is one of the most popular in the country and even internationally wise but, since we’re taking such a different path here, presenting something so new for this business, that’s why with the other managers we discussed it and thought it would be good to invest in new relations and marketing strategies” you explained to her, with a kind and shy smile as you spoke. You could already tell she seemed to take it a bit personal when other people change whatever she initiated.

Aeri simply “hmm” at you as a response, as she continued passing the pages. “Ah! here as well. What do you mean the design and location of one of the first stores ‘didn’t make any sense’?” Yeah. That one she took personal.

“Ah..” you nervously giggled as you looked down, a bit embarrassed at the way you wrote that note down. “Yes, about that.” The girl looked at you, as if waiting for a completely different response “we did a geographic study of the business, and locating a store in that part of the city just wouldn't really work. You see even though it's a centric zone, it's already saturated with a completely different market, the only available space is really small, and it wouldn't even sell well. It wouldn't be profitable there, Ms. Uchinaga. At least not this product." you explained to the young woman, hoping kinder words would get a better reaction out of her this time. "Anything else you would like to ask about?"

"Anything else?" she scoffed, a bit sarcastic, making your smile fade away. Aeri picked up a couple pages from the folder, holding them a bit too rough in your opinion " you added pages and pages of changes to the project." she exclaimed, letting the pages fall on the desk abruptly.

"J-just a few corrections nothing too-" you tried to clarify, a bit nervous with her attitude, picking up your notes and organizing them.

"Corrections? did I make that many mistakes?"

“Of course not, ma’am, but-” she interrupted you again.

"you might as well just make a new project from scratch if you think I'm that uncapable, you know? I mean- " She challenged and stood up as you looked up at her, gulping. Her high heels made her look way taller than you remembered. What was this girl's problem??

“With all due respect, Ms. Uchinaga” You interrupted her this time raising your hand, making Aeri stare at you surprised. "I understand that seeing so many changes in something one started might feel a bit insulting, but I assure you ma'am that any decision made is with the best intention for the project and the company, and of course, after discussing it with the rest of the team." You weren't sure how you didn't stutter saying all that. You felt like your tone was a little too defiant, even when you weren't trying to be so. But you didn't want to just stay quiet and agree with everything without considering what really was best. "Your project is good, really good, and it's great to work on it and see it getting developed, but no matter who created it, what I care about is seeing it out there with its full potential, no matter how many corrections we have to do to it, which really wasn't many. I know how those documents might look, but most of it are notes, not corrections. Here, please. Take another look." You handed her the notes, making sure she notices that there's stuff written in the back of the pages as well (lol).

Aeri felt whatever she was going to say stuck in her throat. She wasn't familiar with the feeling of people leaving her speechless, and she didn't know how much she liked that. Not used to other employees standing up for themselves like you did, even if it wasn't too big of a deal or argument.. it really made her more curious about you. Aeri took the papers from your hands, this time being more gentle, and put them together with the rest inside the folder.

"I'll review this a bit more, and see you in the next meeting." the Japanese girl simply stated, as she started her way out. You licked your lips, and nodded as you processed what happened. You felt like you guys were there for hours, even though you were sure it was just a few minutes.

"Yes, ma'am."

“And it’s Aeri.” she firmly said, looking at you over her shoulder.

"Excuse me?" you asked, not processing something so obvious as her telling you her name, dumbass.

"My name, smartass" she said as if it wasn't obvious (told you) "we must be around the same age, so just call me Aeri" and just like that, she left foreal this time, closing your door behind her.

"Aeri..." you whispered once you were alone in your office. You groaned, clearly disliking how you were feeling "she even has a nice name too?! goddamn it!"

————————————————————————

Aeri lied to you.

She didn't wait until the next official meeting to see you again. Almost everyday of the following weeks you could find her in your office, working and reviewing the details for the project together. Heck, you guys would even have lunch together in your office. At some point, Aeri's dad could swear he could hear laughs from inside your office. His daughter's laugh. That careless laugh that would make him smile the second it resonated. It's been a minute since he's heard Aeri laugh like that with somebody, let alone in the company. Nonetheless, he was happy to know his daughter seemed to have found a good friend in this environment. He looked at your assistant, who was probably just slightly younger than you, and asked her.

"Tell me, Eunjoo, are those two always laughing like that?"

Eunjoo looked up a bit shy that the big boss was talking to her, but after listening to the question she relaxed a bit and gave him a smile as well as she nodded happily "yes, sir. At least the last few days since they have been spending more time together. I can tell they work well together." Mr. Uchinaga listened attentively, happy to hear that her daughter found somebody who motivated her to work and care for something.

"You know, sir" she added, catching the older man's attention again "with all due respect, I wasn't used to see Ms. Aeri in the office so often, but since she started coming again, Ms. y/n seems to have been feeling more comfortable. More confident too" the young girl said, her cute smile appearing once more. Eunjoo had grown fond of you, and she was genuinely happy to see you grow confident, she herself knowing how nerve-wracking can be.

"I'm glad to hear that. I'm sure this is good for both of them" he commented, receiving a nod from the young girl "please, let them know the meeting will be soon, ok?"

"Of course, sir." and the man started walking back to his own office.

————————————————————————

"Oh my God, calm down already, y/n!" Aeri dramatically sighed as she grabbed the girl in front of her by the shoulders. She was trying her best not to laugh, but the girl just looked too funny panicking since Aeri told her that an important investor was gonna be in the meeting they were having today. "It's gonna be fineee!"

"You dont know that!" you said, your voice denoting your anxiety "w-what if I mess up, or if I say something wrong or if he isn't convinced or-" she interrupted you, her cold hands holding your face now.

"Read my lips, since your ears are clearly not working" she said, rolling her eyes "It. will. be. fine. We've been reviewing the details for days now, and everybody already gave their thumbs up about it. It the senior executives are chill, why not you?" She asked, her words slowly helping you "Besides, the meeting is in a few hours, you have time to review a few more times and-"

"Excuse me, ladies" you heard Eunjoo's voice through the phone "Mr. Uchinaga asked me to inform you that the meeting will start soon~"

"Oh shit, I guess I was wrong" she giggled, and you groaned as you started walking around your office again, clearly not feeling ready. Aeri lost count of how many times she had rolled her eyes at you today. 'God how I wish I could shut her up somehow, she's driving me crazy. Why can't she just relax?!' she thought, and that's when an idea hit her.

Aeri and you had grown closer (even flirting jokingly sometimes), talking about each other's lives often. One afternoon, for example, you guys were talking about your sexual life, and you talked to her about what's in your pants. Her reaction was very positive, more curious than anything. You confessed to her that even though you weren't a virgin, you haven't had that many experiences. In exchange, Aeri told you about how she started to be sexually active back during her last year of high school. Since she came from an important family, and was going to a prestigious school, she constantly had that stress on her shoulders to have perfect grades. As a senior, that stress just got worse, but she decided she couldn't live feeling like this. So during a sleepover with a friend at the time, she opened up about how she felt. Her friend offered help, and as several teenagers finding their new reckless, hormonal selves, she accepted.

Aeri quickly learned how good it felt to relieve stress in that way. A way that till this day she still uses often, having casual hookups from time to time. She even joked once that if you ever got too stressed, she'll help you too, but you guys just laughed it off. Maybe this time she didn't need to treat it as a joke, not when, to be honest, she never even wanted to treat it as such.

Aeri couldn't deny to herself her attraction for you, and she wasn't sure if you noticed, or if you were too oblivious, but the tension between you guys... sometimes it felt crazy. But she wondered if that was all in her head. After all, she also learned from you that you hadn't been that sexually active in your life. However, today Aeri was more than willing to take a risk and confirm if you wanted her too.

"Sit down, y/n." she ordered, and you stopped walking to look at her.

"Sitting?!" you exclaimed, throwing your hands in the air "we gotta get going, Aeri! I-I need to make sure the documents are in order and we need to rush and-"

"Sit. down. Now, y/n." she repeated, and by her tone and look, you could tell there was no choice, but to follow. So you went to the couch on your office, and sat down, waiting for her to just do or say whatever it was she was going to. You guys were going to be late and you knew you'd be the one to blame because who in the world would blame the daughter of THE boss of the company?!

You looked at the girl in front of you as she slowly started walking towards you. Confused, you lowkey side-eyed her, wondering what was she planning.

"I think we need to.. relax a bit, before going to that meeting, don't you think?" she suggested, her voice feeling softer than usual, almost like velvet, almost.. coquettish?

"I told you, Aeri. I can't. I'll just push through it, it's ok. C'mon I don't wanna be late." You sighed, just accepting your faith and getting up. But you fell back to the couch, Aeri had pulled you by the shoulders, sitting on your lap to make sure you didn't try to get up again. You gasped quietly, shocked by the girl's actions "w-what are you-"

"It's not gonna be good for neither of us to go to that meeting all stressed and believe it or not, your anxious ass is contagious, so now I'M stressed too." She scolded, her voice for some reason making you shrink into the couch. "I think it's only logical and fair that we.. help each other before we go, yes?"

"Aeri, I dont know if-" you stuttered.

"Let me help you relax, yes?" she sexily whispered next to your ear, and you could feel your member already getting excited inside your pants. Aeri gave you a mischievous smile "I think one of you guys already have an answer, huh?"

"We-we're gonna be late..." you gulped, not wanting to miss such important meeting, but incapable of rejecting the girl. I mean c'mon, she had been in your mind since the day you first saw her.

"Then let's hurry. The faster you get to relax, the faster we'll go to your precious meeting"

"But I dont have any condoms with me I-" You tried to explain.

"It's ok, I take pills. C'mon I know you want this just as much as I do"

Aeri started undoing your shirt a bit, just enough to have access to your neck, which she started kissing as she grinded on your lap. The friction feeling so good with her lips on you, that you gave up to her. You started undoing your belt and pants, and you could feel her smile against your skin. You softly scoffed with a smile 'help me relax, sure' you thought to yourself.

Once your already hard member was out and free, you moved her miniskirt a bit, and then her panties to the side, so you could rub it against Aeri's clit, wanting to make sure the girl was wet enough so you wouldn't hurt her. But the moment you made contact with her, you could tell she was more than ready.

"You're so wet already, for how long have you been this horny?" you teased her, the sensation so good, her fluids covering your cock as you kept rubbing it in between her lips. Aeri whined, so impatient to feel you but annoyed at your teasing.

"S-shut up and put it in already..."

You laughed, and did as she said, slowly getting inside her pussy and enjoying how she wrapped around you, how warm she felt. You both moaned as you got deeper and deeper.

"It's actually bigger than I imagined..." Aeri said, struggling a bit to talk as she adapted to your size.

"So you've been fantasizing about it, huh?" you smirked, as if you hadn't done the same. Aeri complained, and punched your shoulder, making you laugh at her reaction. You decided to tease her more, just in a different way. You got close to her ear, and whispered "It's ok, I have thought about you too, you know? And you feel even better than I could've ever imagined. So tight around me, and taking me so, so well~"

Aeri gasp loudly, almost forgetting that there probably were people outside your office. But all that was in the back of her mind, you felt too good for her to worry about that.

Once you were completely inside her, you let her take control, moving once she felt ready. That didn't take long, Aeri knew you guys had no time to waste. That is, of course, if you were still planning on going to that meeting, and Aeri knew you weren't gonna miss it for anything.

So she started riding you, going up and down on your dick at a pace not too fast, but not too slow. Your hands went to her waist, keeping her steady. God, she looked so hot like this, on top of you, focused on making you reach those spots inside her that she liked so much. You were hypnotized by her, lost in the pleasure you yourself were feeling as she sped up each time. You held her by the waist, and kissed her deeply, catching her off guard. Normally, Aeri's sexual partners in their majority have been those who think kissing is rather intimate, not for something like a 'quickie', which sometimes disappointed her. So she grabbed your face, and reciprocated the sweet, hungry contact. She could feel you moaning in her mouth, and smiled as she separated a bit, biting your lip in the process. She rested her forehead against yours, and bit her own lip. You looked so into it, into her. She always loved to feel wanted, needed, desired.

"Does it feel good?" she whispered caressing your face, knowing the answer just by looking at you, but wanting to hear you say it.

"uh-huh.." you mumbled as if your brain was off, making her giggle.

"Are you feeling more relaxed?"

"Yes, r-relaxed, sure..." You said in between teeth as you held her waist tighter, making her jump faster and harder on your cock, reaching as deep as you could. Aeri left out a cry "Fuckk~ you feel so good, Aeri" you groaned, already almost tasting the sweetness of climax.

"Ms. y/n, everything ok? The meeting is about to start" you suddenly heard Eunjoo's voice through your office phone. You panicked, trying to reach the phone without stopping what you guys were doing, which was impossible. You looked at Aeri, but she just aggressively shook her head.

"Dont stop, I-I'm close, dont you fucking stop!" she ordered in between moans, fucking herself on your cock. Fuck. You got up, carrying Aeri with you, and sat her on your desk as you pressed the speaker.

"We're al-most ready, Eunjoo!" you said, trying to sound as normal as possible, but clearly out of breath.

"I'm coming!~" Aeri whispered, hugging you tight.

"Shhh!" you whisper-yelled at her, and she bit your shoulder to keep herself quiet.

"Yeah, we're coming, just give us a minute!" And you hung up. "Jesus, you cant be saying that when somebody is literally listening, you know?!" you scolded her, the adrenaline making you fuck her harder, making her come so hard you almost thought she was gonna bite your shoulder off. But you didn't care about the pain, not as you came hard inside her, emptying yourself inside her pussy so good you felt your heart in your ears once you finished. You stayed inside her until you both were breathing normal again. Your brain felt on cloud 9. What just happened between you guys, it was such an experience. You looked at Aeri once she looked up from resting on your shoulder, and you both giggled. You moved a bit, letting her get down as you got your boxers and pants up.

"God, I don't remember the last time I came that hard" you admitted out loud, causing a giggle out of Aeri as she pushed your shoulder "Auch! careful, I think you fractured it you know?"

"Oh my God, shut up! make yourself look presentable so we can go." She told you, fixing herself in front of the mirror you had in your office.

"Go where?" you asked innocently, as you stared at her.

"To the meeting, where else?!" she said, frowning and confused at your answer. Did she fuck you into amnesia or what??

"..."

"y/n? hello?!" she shook your shoulder.

"... Oh my God?! hurry up!!" you yelled at her, rushing in between dressing up and getting your documents.

————————————————————————

Needless to say yes, you made it a few minutes late to the meeting, but the moment Aeri entered the room behind you, all eyes went to her, and you swore you heard someone gasp. Some knew that Mr. Uchinaga's daughter developed a particular interest in being properly involved in this project, probably because she started the idea. But nobody was expecting her to willingly participate in official meetings. They seemed to had forgotten you guys were late, and you were thankful for it. It made sense, though. Aeri's presence always made time feel unreal.

"Ladies, thank you for coming" one of the other managers said, trying to suppress an excited smile as she held her hands together. "Take a seat please, we were about to start".

You nodded with your head as a silent thank you, as you were about to sit next to one of your colleagues, but Aeri had a different idea, and nonchalantly pulled you by the sleeve as she walked both of you to the front, her sitting next to her dad, and you next to her. Some were a bit shocked by this, including you, but Aeri couldn't care less about other people's reaction.

————————————————————————

It really took just a taste of you for Aeri to want you almost everyday.

you guys kept having those passionate encounters, these becoming so frequent that more than two days without it was already weird for you guys. Nothing was discussed about it, you weren't official, or exclusive, and didn't think you wanted to. Or well, to be honest both of you have been enjoying whatever was going, and also busy with work, that you genuinely haven't thought too much about formalities. However, you were around so often that even her friends knew you, due to Aeri deciding that you were worthy of keeping her company even if it wasn’t related to sex (at least, for part of the night).

The group of friends already knew how casual Aeri tended to be, not being a fan of relationships nor commitment. She never really brought any of their hook ups around. So, naturally, they were a bit weirded out when they noticed that the person she had earlier introduced to them was clearly more than a friend.

“Aeri??” Ningning said, an incredulous tone in her voice “Uchinaga Aeri. Our Giselle. Getting serious? Bitch please, YOU be serious.”

“Oh fuck off.” Karina responded with a frown before pointing at you and the Japanese girl who were moving around the dance floor “look at them. They look so.. comfortable with each other, and still-"

“That means nothing, Gigi looks comfortable with us too all the time” Ning affirmed wanting to make her point too, her arms crossed in front of her chest looking like a smartass. That’s until Minjeong caught the girls’ attention.

“Damn, well I don’t know about you guys but Aeri has never done *that* to me” she pointed out at you two. At some point in the conversation, Aeri dragged you to a little corner, both of you probably too drunk to notice it was not that secret or away from your friends. Aeri decided she needed to kiss you, to touch you, and she couldn’t wait until she was home. Dancing with you just affected all her senses. And the taste of your lips mixed with the alcohol she had earlier was the perfect killer combination.

“Aeri you horny ass.” NingNing said with fake disgust, while Karina was laughing her ass off and Minjeong was just staring at you guys with her mouth open “Minjeong, please, go get them before we get kicked out for indecency”

“No no give them a minute, they seem to be having fun…” the young girl said while licking her suddenly dry lips. NingNing’s fake disgust face lowkey turned into a real one. She slapped the back of Minjeong's head, and pushed her a bit.

“Bitch now!”

“Aww man you’re so boring…”

————————————————————————

"So... you and y/n, huh?" NingNing started, the other two girls staring at Aeri as she was confused.

The four girls met the morning after to have coffee together at Aeri's. Of course, without notifying her first lol. Aeri was still asleep when they got there, but you were on your way to work and opened the door for them.

"... oh- good morning, y/n" NingNing said, bowing a bit once she got out of her shock. She wasn't used to seeing Aeri's hookups stayed for the night. Karina suppressed a smile, in her eyes this was just more evidence that you and Aeri were probably growing closer.

"Good morning, girls" you responded kindly, though a bit nervous since the women in front of you looked a bit surprised to see you "Aeri said she was coming to the office later so she'll probably wake up any minute. I was on my way already, but I made some coffee! feel free to have it, just please leave some for Aeri~" you asked, and they nodded, looking at each other discreetly. You all said your goodbyes, and just as you left the big apartment, a sleepy Aeri was coming out of the room, only using her panties and a shirt that clearly didn't belong to her. She was calling your name, her husky voice sounding rather sweet, which made her friends give each other looks again.

Now the three of them were sitting on the couch, drinking the coffee, while Minjeong terrorized Aeri's fridge.

"Me and y/n what?" Aeri asked her back as she took a sip of the coffee you made, a satisfied noise escaping her lips. Just the way she liked it.

"Don't play dumb, bitch. What's going on between you two."

"Yeah, you bring her around often, you dont kick her out before morning. You use her clothes to sleep!" Karina highlighted, using her fingers to enumerate.

"She even knows how to make your coffee! that's cute!" Minjeong yelled from the kitchen, a little hard to understand 'cause her mouth was full of sandwich.

"Swallow your food before speaking!" NingNing scolded pointing at Minjeong, who frowned at her.

"No!"

Ning tsked, and got up to scold Minjeong a bit more (and steal some food herself), making the blonde girl pout.

"I don't know why you guys are so surprised. She's good company and a good fuck, nothing less and nothing more." She assured her friends, not wanting this conversation to become such a big deal.

"Hey, isn't this your birth control?" Minjeong said after picking up a medicine box that was on the floor next to the couch. Aeri gasped, she had forgotten where she left it.

"Shit, thanks baby." Aeri said, making her way to the kitchen.

"Are you seeing other people besides y/n?" Karina asked, joining her friends in the kitchen and getting some fruit for herself. Aeri shook her head "Then why are you taking these?"

She looked at her three friends, raising her eyebrows with a look that explained everything without needing words (Author too lazy to make this explaining g!p scene, they got it and were like oh :0 and then didn't care.)

"Lately I've been so busy with work that I keep forgetting everything" she said nonchalantly as she got some water and swallow the pill.

"Be careful, Uchinaga. You know with these things you can't just be silly and forgetful" Karina reminded her, a frown in her face as she watched her friend take the medication.

"Relax, It's not like I'm gonna get pregnant." Aeri laughed at her friends, they worried too much sometimes.

————————————————————————

"So... apparently I'm pregnant." Aeri confessed the next time the four friends were together in her apartment.

The three women in front of her in her living room went quiet, as if not moving nor breathing could make what their friend just suddenly dropped not real.

"... huh?" Minjeong was the first to speak, her voice high pitched and shaking, not sure if she heard right, if Aeri was foreal, or real, or if anything was real.

Aeri looked at her friends, not even sure how to explain it. She herself couldn't believe how careless she fucking was with those stupid pills.

(Flashback ig)

You and Aeri hadn't seen each other in so long (literally two weeks only), you went away with a group as representatives of the company to this important event, having a lot of work before and after the trip. Aeri had been texting you often about missing having you in her bed. So when you finally coincided in the company, she needed you. Right there and then. You saw each her on an empty hallway, shocked to finally be on each other's presence, and almost ran to hug you. You giggled a bit, thinking the reaction was cute, and a little unfamiliar coming from her. You thought she was gonna drag you to her office, but Aeri had a different, riskier idea. Looking around to make sure nobody was seeing you, she pulled you inside a janitor's closet (haha classic jade-jini).

"Wow, I missed you too" you said, laughing while she locked the door. This reminded you a bit of that time a cousin of yours told you her and her lover once did it on a janitor's closet, what was the girlfriend's name? Sana, was it? anyways.

"Why the fuck did you have to go on that trip?" Aeri complained, as she quickly started undoing your pants, kissing you before you could even answer. You held her face, sighing as you realized how much you missed those lips.

"It means they're trusting me more, it's a good thing" you said against her lips as you made her sit somewhere, getting comfortable between her legs. Your hands traveled to her buttoned up shirt, wanting to rip it off her but deciding not to.

"I hope that doesn't mean you'll be away for this long often." she pouted, making you giggle. Once her chest was exposed, you immediately went to one of her nipples, sucking on it thirstily. Aeri moaned at the feeling of your tongue against such sensitive skin, one hand caressing your hair while the other one was masturbating you, your member getting harder and harder in her hand.

Both of you needed to compensate for the wasted time, and let's say nobody saw you for a while.

“More..” she moaned in your ear as she softly grabbed the back of your head “harder”. You could feel Aeri again getting tighter around your dick, reaching for her climax once more.

“If I go harder you’re gonna get louder again, we can’t get caught like this, can we?”

“We both know you’d be the one getting loud. Out of everybody with a dick that I’ve fucked before, nobody gets as whiny and moans like you.

“Hmm..” you groaned at her teasing “I don’t wanna hear about the other people you’ve fucked”

“Don’t worry, you’re probably in my top of decent hookups anyways” she said with a mischievous smile, clearly trying to tease you even more.

“Not even one of the best?” You asked as a pout adorned your lips, your hips not stopping the pace you marked, but knowing you’ll go faster if she didn't stop teasing you.

“Hmm, we’ll see. Maybe, if you listen more, maybe.” Lies, you were the best she’s ever had and she knew it, but Aeri was not gonna admit that to you. "Be a good girl, and fuck me harder. I know you wanna come inside me again" she whispered in your ear, to then bite it softly. You grabbed her by her ass, going so hard on her you could both feel tears in your eyes. You weren't sure how many orgasms you had given each other already, but you were so sensitive. It just felt too good. Aeri felt herself coming just as you emptied yourself inside her once again, filling her up to the point you were going to have to clean the floor once you finally finished your intense encounter. But who gives a shit? you felt amazing inside her. It was like an addiction.

A dangerous addiction, because as mentioned before, with so much work and things in her mind, Aeri didn't exactly prioritize her strict schedule to take her birth control pills.

Fucking great. Fucking genius.

And that's why, sooner than later, she started feeling constant nausea the following month, not to mention how her period decided to not show up that month either. Expired food? stress? please God literally anything but that? that's what was rushing through her mind as she waited for the 5 pregnancy tests to show the result. And they all showed the same.

Fucking positive. Congrats, Aeri!

"Oh my God.. Oh my God?!!" she screamed from her bathroom.

Aeri decided not to go to the company for a couple days. She needed some peace, some space. After not seeing her for two days, you contacted her, but she simply responded with being too busy with 'stuff'. You decided not to push, even though you wanted to see her, and not just to fuck. But you knew you had no right to ask much from her. You guys weren't really 'a thing', so, what to do. Whenever you missed her you'd just sigh, and do your best to focus on the mountain of work you had.

A few days had passed since she took the pregnancy tests, and that's how now she was in front of her best friends, giving them the news.

"WHAT THE FUCK UCHINAGA?!" Karina screamed, getting up her chair as she started anxiously walking around the room, her hands shaking, going to her hair, chaos I dont know "I FUCKIN TOLD YOU, I TOLD YOU TO BE CAREFUL OR THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN! OHH-"

Aeri looked at her friend, not knowing how to respond to it, but probably Karina wasn't gonna listen anyways.

"No no no no no this can't be happening!" Minjeong repeated over and over again, hugging her knees to her chest as she rocked herself.

NingNing was just speechless looking at nothing, her mouth making a big O.

"I thought i jinxed it, I thought I could make it go away, but naaah!"

"We're too young for this we're too young for this we're too y-" she could hear Minjeong from the floor.

"What are you gonna do? what are we gonna do?! have you told your dad? how about y/n? WHERE EVEN IS Y/N RIGHT NOW, HUH? HUH?!" Karina scolded, and Aeri started to feel too overwhelmed.

"I don't know!" Aeri snapped back, her voice breaking, a sign that she was going to start crying. This made her friends react and look at her. Silence was dominating the apartment again, that's until a sob involuntarily escaped Aeri. "I-I don't know what to do. I didn't plan for this to happen, I don't know how I was so stupid to forget" She said in between sobs, shaking and crying in such a way that broke the three girls' hearts. They quickly rushed to hug her, trying to comfort her. She was their friend, their sister. It didn't matter what happened, they would always be there for her.

"Hey, hey, it's ok." NingNing said as she caressed the girl's hair. "we're here for you, no matter what. You're not alone in this, Gigi."

"Yeah, we'll always be here, no matter what you choose to do... but what do you think you'd really want to do?" Karina asked, letting the girl rest on her shoulder.

"I dont know.." Aeri responded with a soft string of voice "I don't think I wanna get rid of it, you know?" she confessed, making her friends looked at each other a bit shocked, but they weren't lying when they said they'd support her no matter what.

"Then I guess it's time to start going to auntie classes so we can be ready" Karina joked, getting a soft giggle from Ningning and Minjeong,and a smile from her friend, whose eyes were still covered in tears.

"I mean, at least you know two things for sure" Minjeong said, making her friends look at her curiously "the baby's gonna be born rich AND good looking." she continued with a smile. This made her friends laugh, which they all really needed at the moment "but foreal, though. You'd be a great mommy, if that's what you end up deciding on, we promise to always make sure you guys are ok."

"Thank you guys" Aeri said, sincerity filling her words as she cuddled more with her sisters.

"Have you told y'n about this?" NingNing asked once she noticed the girl stopped shaking so much. Aeri just shook her head.

"No, we haven't talked in a couple days".

"Why?" Minjeong asked curiously. " You genuinely seem to enjoy having her around."

"I just needed some space to process all this" she expressed, pointing at her belly. Minjeong nodded at her words, understanding.

"How about your dad?" Karina questioned carefully. Aeri just sighed.

"I guess I'll have to go visit and deliver the news..."

————————————————————————

"I'm so glad you came to see me, dear" Aeri's dad said as he placed some tea for him and his daughter in the little coffee table between them. They were currently in the big garden in his house. "when I asked y/n where were you and she said she hadn't seen you in the office in days, and when I called you and you said you just didn't feel like going, after being so involved in your project. I mean, I know you're a free spirit, but" he softly giggled with his raspy voice.

The mention of y/n made her heart jump. She still haven't contacted you. In these days that she hasn't seen you, she hoped the words and courage to tell you about the pregnancy would sprout. But they didn't.

"I just needed some days off, dad" Aeri started, trying her best to cover the nerve-wracking fear in her voice "Something really big happened and.. and I just needed to process it."

"Hmm? What do you mean, darling?" the man asked, taking a sip of his cup.

“I’m not really sure how to explain this…” the young girl murmured, looking at her father as he put the cup down, looking at his daughter with a frown, worried. Very worried.

"Aeri, whatever happened, you can talk to your dad about it. I'm here for you, my love" Mr. Uchinaga said, offering his daughter a smile. Aeri breathed in and out, thinking she should just be done with it. There was no point on dancing around the subject.

"Dad... I'm pregnant." she finally said "You're gonna be a grandpa" she also added with a bittersweet intent of a smirk, hoping she made it sound at least a bit better.

"...What?!" didn't seem to work- "A.. a baby? oh Aeri that's- I mean-" he was so speechless. I mean of course he loved the idea of being a grandpa one day, but he didn't think it would happen so soon, and he expected to see a ring on his daughter's finger first. Why was she telling him this alone? "Darling that's.. I mean it's great of course but.. I didn't know you had this in your plans I mean.. so soon after college?" the old man was going through a series of millions of emotions, all rushing through his mind.

"I know it's very shocking but-" the young girl tried to speak.

"Was this something you even had in mind? You didnt even tell me you were with somebody" but it didn't look like her dad was listening much at the moment.

"Well, not exactly but-" She was feeling more and more overwhelmed by the second.

"Did you even plan for this?!" he insisted, his own forehead feeling sweaty as the realization hit.

"No I didn't plan for this, dad, ok?! but it happened and I-I'm trying to take responsibility about it and deal with it how I can, and I'd really appreciate if you could please, please calm down a bit and let me at least speak."

"Calm down?! my youngest daughter is pregnant! Not married, not even compromised, but with a baby on the way and the father nowhere to be seen in this house!" he snapped, as if asking him to tone it down a bit was absurd "you wanna talk to me about responsibility? hm?! responsibility would've been avoiding a situation like this. THAT would've been responsible."

Silence covered the place, the echo of their voices resonating against the wall, accompanied by their unstable breathing. Aeri felt so fragile and small in front of her father. He saw hurting in her eyes, and he hated the idea of ever making her kids feel this way.

"He could've at least come see me with you, you know?." Mr. Uchinaga then said, a much more calm tone in his voice now, and less accusatory too.

"I-I can't bring this person, dad. At least not yet.."

“Don’t tell me you don’t even know who the father is…” the old man pleaded, and Aeri shook her head.

“Oh I know who it is, dad, please. And you know her well too”

“…her?” Mr. Uchinaga repeated, clearly confused. Aeri sighed, and signaled for him to sit next to her on the couch inside.

“Please sit down for a moment, dad”

————————————————————————

“I can't believe it. And she looked so shy at first" Mr. Uchinaga clicked his tongue. "And she put that baby there?!"

Aeri had explained to her dad that you were the other parent of the baby she was expecting. At first he was shocked, I mean yeah he thought about how you could be a good partner for his daughter. You had a good future, a good job (at HIS company mind you.), brains, you seemed like a very kind-hearted girl, and he could tell you guys had a lot of chemistry. But never in a million years he thought you were gonna get her pregnant, asshole.

“Dont say it like that, and yes. She's the mom. As I said, she's the only person I've been seeing." Aeri explained.

“I didn’t know you guys were together”

“We aren’t” Aeri murmured, and quickly regretted it knowing how worse it sounded that she was not only pregnant before getting married but pregnant to somebody she didn’t even consider her official partner. Her dad raised an eyebrow, not liking what he was hearing. Again.

“No no, wait! We are- We are together. We just didn’t really… plan for *this* to happen” Aeri said, trying to fix the answer she gave. "But yeah, we are together and.. serious, yeah." The man nodded, kinda buying what his daughter said, kinda not.

“Well, now you two are going to have to get married” he proclaimed after finishing his cup of tea. Aeri almost choked on hers.

“Married?!” her dad had said it so calmly that it took her a second to process what he even said.

"Yes." he responded as if it was the most obvious thing. "You guys are having a baby, Aeri. You know how it can look if you have it without being married. Plus if you guys are already together and serious, then why not? it was just a matter of time."

Aeri felt her pressure going up and down. Marriage?! hell nah.

"Marriage wasn't in our plans either, dad, and you know how I feel about it."

"I want you to bring her here so we can all talk about this. This is a family situation now, and if she's the mom of your kid, then that makes her family whether you like it or not." the older man stated firmly. Aeri was massaging her temple, knowing her dad wouldn't take a no for an answer, but she just wasn't ready to talk to you about all this.

"Dad I don't think this is-"

"You are bringing her here, Aeri. End of discussion."

————————————————————————

Aeri could feel the panic traveling through her whole body.

She was sitting on the couch, waiting for you. Her leg bouncing impatiently. You were gonna be there any minute. She was feeling so impatient, and at the same time was praying something could rip time and space so she'd never have to have this conversation with you.

"This is ridiculous. We’re not even dating, I haven't even told her about the baby, and now I have to also bring her to my family home to talk about marriage?!" Aeri thought out loud, clicking her tongue at how unbelievable her situation was "How am I supposed to do this?!"

"Do what?" A random ass Minjeong casually asked as she came out of Aeri's room.

"JESUS!" the japanese girl screamed, her already accelerated heart almost jumping out of her "what the fuck, Minjeong?? how long have you been here?!"

"About two, three hours maybe. I came to see you but you were gone so I made myself something to eat and then passed out in your comfy comfy bed" the blonde girl yawned, stretching her arms.

"You guys are too comfortable coming to my apartment." Aeri complained, but the younger girl just smiled at her.

"It's called being family." she replied, sticking her tongue out "anyways, did you bring anything? I'm starving" Minjeong added as she rubbed her tummy.

"No I didn't bring shit and you need to leave, y/n is coming any minute and-"

*knock knock* (like Twice)

The two girls looked at each other, Aeri already feeling her hands shaking.

"I think she's here" Minjeong said, and Aeri rolled her eyes as she walked to open the door, you were outside with a takeout bag.

"You think?!" Aeri exclaimed, sarcastically. But Minjeong didn't catch the tone.

"Yes yes! She's right there! Hi y/n~" the blonde girl pointed and then waved at you, with a big smile on her face. You were a bit lost but reciprocated her smile, it was too cute to not be contagious.

"Hi Jeongie~" you replied as you entered the apartment, whispering a little 'hi' to the owner, who simply gave a little smirk. You could already tell she wasn't in the best mood.

When Aeri texted you earlier, she wasn't really clear about what was the reason she suddenly contacted you, asking you to come to her apartment. It has been days since the last time you two spoke. At first you thought maybe she was finally free with whatever it was that kept her so busy, and wanted to have some fun with you again, but when she mentioned that she actually needed to talk to you about something important, you worried that maybe something bad happened. When you asked for details, she simply replied with "We'll talk once you're here, just come. Please.. I need you here."

So you quickly picked up a jacket and your keys, stopping for some food on your way to her place. Something from a restaurant Aeri mentioned multiple times before. How sweet of you.

"What you got in there? it smells amazing" Minjeong curiously asked as she freed your hands. You sat on the couch as you witnessed the little blonde thief undoing the bag.

"It's just some pasta with-"

"Oh! my favorite!" you heard her said from the kitchen, as she took the first bite, satisfied with the flavorful taste.

"I thought it was Aeri's favorite" you pointed at the mentioned girl, who just shook her hand.

"She was gonna say 'my favorite' no matter what you had in there" Aeri explained, and you simply nodded as your mouth did a O.

"I'm gonna get this out of your way, you guys are gonna be too busy to eat anyways. I'll be on my way!" Minjeong quickly said as she made her way to the door, your bag now becoming her dinner.

"Wait- but the food!-" you tried to stop her but it was too late.

"Byeeee!" and with that, she closed the apartment door behind her. You sighed, just accepting that you were going to have to order delivery now.

"Wow~ she really left with it. What are we gonna eat now?!" you asked in between giggles, but Aeri seemed to stay serious even after her friend's shenanigans.

"Don't worry about it, I'm sure you'll lose your appetite in a minute." You stopped laughing, now looking at her a bit worried. You could see in her face, whatever the reason was for you to be there right now, it was clearly important.

"What's going on, Aeri? did something happen, are you ok?" you questioned, softly holding her arm as she sat next to you.

"I'm ok.. well, kinda." She tried to explain, but that answer didn't help at all.

"Just tell me what is it, I'm here ok? whatever it is you need help with, you can count on me" you smiled at her, hoping you could give her some comfort. It couldn't be that bad, right?

"y/n..." Aeri took a deep breath. 'here goes nothing..' she thought.

right?

"I'm pregnant..." Aeri finally said, doing her best for her voice not too shake as much as her hands.

"..."

"y/n..? Did you hear what I said?" she asked, shaking you a bit as you stared at her, your face completely absent of any thought or emotion.

"..."

————————————————————————

"Pregnant... PREGNANT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN PREGNANT? WHAT DOES SHE MEAN PREGNANT? HOW THE FUCK? WHEN THE FUCK? Oh my God but she said she was on the pill?!!!! How the fuck did I let this happen? I'm gonna be a parent?! But I'm too young... my parents are gonna kill me.. HER DAD IS GONNA KILL ME. DOES HE KNOW ALREADY?! I would be dead if he knew..."

————————————————————————

"So.. you're pregnant." You said, still not fully processing what the girl in front of you had told you. After Aeri told you about her pregnancy, you passed out for a bit, not really sure how long. So she used the 'making you smell alcohol' method, and had some water for you.

"Yes." Aeri said, sitting next to you on the couch, face to face.

"And it's mine" You said, almost as a question.

"It might surprise you but all this time I've only been sleeping with you, so yes, it's very yours."

"And.. are you.. gonna keep it?" you asked, as careful as possible but bitch, how you ask something like that?? Aeri looked at you like she couldn't believe your shit.

"Are you fuckin serious right now?"

"Wha- i think this is a very valid question!" you tried to defend yourself, your hands up.

"This is ridiculous, what do you think, y/n?!" ok clearly the answer was obvious. And you felt so bad for asking such thing.

"Ok ok I'm sorry!" you apologized, panic clear in you "Jesus, I didn't mean for it to sound like that, i just meant that it is your body and your decision, and whatever you decide i support you and I'm here for you and honestly i don't hate the idea of having a baby but i just didn't think it was gonna happen during these circumstances! I never planned for it!"

"And you think i planned for this?!" she yelled at you as she stood up, feeling like you were accusing her.

"That's not what I'm saying!" but you just felt like crying.

"I know that's not what you're saying! but what you said earlier wasn't a good response either!" you stood up as well, feeling so overwhelmed with this argument. You hated arguments.

"Well I'm sorry then!" you yelled, matching her tone. Your breathing felt irregular, just like her. For a second, there was just silence "...I'm sorry"

Aeri looked at you, and as reality hit both of you once again, she looked like she was really gonna cry, so you quickly wrapped her in your arms, letting her be as vulnerable as she needed. She sobbed against your chest, and you felt your heart shake. It pained you, seeing her so.. scared and fragile. And you hated thinking that any of your words made it worse.

"I'm so sorry." you repeated as you held here in your arms, caressing her hair and back "I'm here ok? I'm here with you, and I'm not leaving. We're together in this. We're ok, it's gonna be ok."

You felt her nodding against your chest, still crying. So you kissed the top of her head, letting her take her time. After some minutes, she looked up at you, and you looked back at those beautiful dark eyes.

"I feel insane, being so.. scared, but not hating the idea of having a baby, you know?" she voiced, with a bittersweet shadow of a laugh.

"...I don't hate the idea of having a baby, either." you confessed, catching her a bit off guard, but it seemed to have been a good answer "plus, if it's with you, they're gonna come out beautiful" a sweet smile adorning your lips as you mentioned this, which made Aeri smile as well as roll her eyes "I'm here, Aeri. and I'll be here when that baby's born. I know we've never really discussed what we are and I know you didn't mean for it to become anything serious… but I am here. For and with you. I promise."

Aeri stared at you in silence, feeling moved by your words. She really needed to hear that from you. Your embrace, the honesty and determination in your voice and eyes, it made her feel... safe.

Then she remembered what her dad had told her.

"Yeah, about that…" she said, separating from you and playing with her hands. You looked at her confused. Was there something else she hasnt mentioned? surely it couldn't compare to the baby, right?

"My dad wants to talk to you, so we gotta go to his home"

... right?!

"And it's related to... marriage." she finished, now anxiously playing with the ends of her hair.

"…" silence. Your mind felt like it exploded.

"Hello??" Aeri shook you by the shoulder when she noticed you were paralyzed once more. The girl clicked her tongue, what a bad habit of yours "why do you always do this?"

"I'm jumping through the window."

"Get in the car, y/n."

————————————————————————

Things didn't go easy with Mr. Uchinaga. So much scolding, the speech about how you guys were careless like two teenagers, and the marriage conversation. Ouh the tension was ugly. But trying to be positive, it didn't go that bad either. After so much yelling, you guys seemed to have touched a good nerve. The old man didn't dislike the idea of being a grandpa anyways, and at least you weren't some good for nothing. He liked you for his daughter, he just wished you guys didn't do it this way. But what was done was done. You all got to an agreement, as in you told him kinda what he wanted to hear, and bought Aeri and you some time to really figure things out. You guys grew fond of each other since the moment you met of course, and you had a strong attraction too (clearly), but you two never really.. thought of a relationship, let alone marriage. And a kid didn't change that either (for now MUAHAHAHA). You brought Aeri back to her place after talking with her dad, you two were currently sitting on the couch, staring at the ceiling.

"What are we gonna do, y/n?" she asked, and you could feel the emotions in her voice. The doubts. The confusion. The fear.

"I don't know..." you answered sincerely, trying to find the words to comfort her. "But that's ok, Aeri. We're together in this."

"y/n, we're not even dating, how do you think this feels?" she questioned you, making you look at her as you stayed quiet for a bit.

"...But we could."

"What?" she asked, not sure what she heard.

"C'mon, why not give it a proper try? we're having a kid. I don't think it's gonna kill neither of us to see how it feels to be a couple. We can start by being girlfriends!" you suggested, your excited tone made her giggle "or! if you want, we can start easier. I'll court you or whatever is called. I'll win your affection!"

"what, you're gonna take me on dates? I think we already skipped a few steps here, didn't we?" she said sarcastically, pointing at her tummy.

"Hey, we gotta start somewhere if we're going to maybe get married! just because the final level is already happening doesn't mean we can't enjoy the.. side quests..?"

" the side quests?" she repeated, trying her best not to laugh.

"Listen, you know I'm not good with my words sometimes, but I'm trying, ok?" you replied, a pout on your face that made her finally laugh "What I'm trying to say is, I'd like to treat you to these things we didn't do before we started what we had. Who knows, maybe exploring these things together will help us take a decision about how our relationship will be. Maybe we'll see new sides of each other that we can learn to you know, embrace and more. I'm more than open to it, and if you need time, then I'll be as patient as you need me to be."

Aeri listened to you with a soft smile on her face. You were so sweet sometimes. With anybody else, she'd probably feel like throwing up. But hearing these words from you... it made her heart feel different. It felt good, and warm, and comfortable.

"You are sooo cheesy, y/f/n." she teased. You dramatically got up and started walking to the bedroom, surprising her but making her laugh once again.

"You're sleeping on the couch tonight for that comment!"

————————————————————————

It didn't take long for you guys to grow even closer. I mean, you were already comfortable with each other so, honestly, you just needed to break that barrier that was stopping you from opening your hearts and welcome each other more into your lives. For you it was rather easy, you were such a lover girl. But Aeri... you knew it was gonna take some work, but you didn't mind. Honestly, you were happy with it being a slow process. It felt like.. somehow really close friends, but so much more to each other. Still, it felt so hard to give it a name.

But Aeri was so grateful you wouldn't push or rush her. You really were there for her without expecting anything. Aeri even felt comfortable enough to go back to the company, and you'd spend your lunch together basically everyday again. And thus, the sweet laughs from your office came back. Mr. Uchinaga would hear them sometimes whenever he was around that floor, and he'd just shake his head, a smile threatening his lips.

————————————————————————

So going back to what we’re here for. breastfeeding kink (😭). It started rather earlier in Aeri's pregnancy. And she, or well, her tits would get so so sensitive. She wasn’t sure how to deal with it until a light bulb appeared on top of her head; you, as her (un)official partner, were obliged to help her with her struggle. I mean after all it was your fault she was going through it.

Yeah, she saw it once in a video. Hey! don't judge her. She was trying to find some information about how to deal with the sensitivity in her breast, and ended up in very.. graphic websites. But anyways, Aeri knew she needed to get that milk out of her body. But there was no baby yet, until

“Hi baby!” She said with a very suspicious and big smile as she stood next to you the moment you entered her office. You looked at her with a raised eyebrow. Aeri normally doesn’t call you by any pet name, at least not outside the bed.

“Hello?” you answered with a slow, careful tone. Aeri had called you earlier that day to discuss something about a doctor’s appointment, but of course, she forgot she did. Now she was simply staring at you, still smiling. You sighed, knowing where this was probably going “Ok, what is it?”

“Oh, nothing~” she sang in a very fake innocent tone.

“Aeri…” you said with a threatening-but-not-really tone, just wanting her to admit whatever it is she needed you for this time.

“Nothing that you wouldn’t enjoy” she corrected herself. For a second, though, she looked up reconsidering her thoughts “well, hopefully.”

————————————————————————

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” You asked her, needing confirmation once again.

Aeri had sat you down on her office couch, massaging your shoulders as she straddled you. Your hands were tied up and resting against your chest. That was for no particular reason, Aeri just thought it was hot. She started speaking in a relaxed (relaxing) tone, explaining what she needed from you. The idea of sucking on her titties right there and then was an offer you wouldn’t even have to consider once, you’d just do it. But she did need to let you know why she needed it so bad right now, even though you never asked for an explanation when it came to stuff like that. Once she mentioned her breast had started producing milk though, your thoughts slowed down a bit, and you started to seriously listen to her words. She explained how her body, specially her chest, was very sensitive. And she really, really needed your help.

This was a completely new experience for you. You've never really experimented much kinky stuff before in your life, the riskiest things you've done have been the almost daily occasional sex at the office with Aeri. So naturally you felt a bit nervous a first.

However.

Once Aeri started slowly undoing her shirt, her tits looking even bigger, more appetizing than usual... your mouth got so watery and your brain felt funny, you didn't need to think about it too much. There was something about Aeri lately, you wanted to take care of each and every need she had, both in and out of bed. Maybe it was the closeness between you guys now, 'cause whether you guys admitted it or not, she was yours and you were hers. Or maybe it was the pregnancy hormones. I mean of course they affected her, she was the one pregnant- but it also affected you. You wanted to make sure she was ok, happy, satisfied, all the time. Like it was your mission in life. And you had to be honest, you desired her even more everyday.

"I'm sure, yes" she answered, her voice so soft in your ears, so sexy "Do you wanna back off? I can untie you-"

"No!" you quickly interrupted, not expecting to sound so desperate. Aeri looked at you with a raised eyebrow, finding your reaction so entertaining. You cleared your throat before speaking again "Don't look at me like that, I just wanna help if this is really what you need. You know how much I like helping you... relax" you said in a suggestive way, Aeri catching your little reference. She let a soft laugh at your comment.

"Right, I know." her hands opened her shirt, getting her chest closer to your face as she pressed down on your lap, moving against your already hard member. You groaned softly, lifting your hips a bit, wanting to be inside her already, but Aeri shook her head, patting your head.

"Ah ah ah~" she stated "You give me what I need, I'll give you what YOU need. Needy baby."

You pouted at her teasing, but simply nodded as you started kissing and sucking on her nipple. Aeri hissed, the familiar feeling of your tongue against her sensitive skin hitting just right. She could feel her clogged breast finding some relief in your mouth. Her moans didn't wait either, but her volume was the least of her worries, she was too focused on your lips.

Aeri looked down, the image of you sucking on her tits turning her on tremendously. You looked up at her, your cute puppy eyes shining as you eagerly sucked and taste the sweet liquid coming out of her. God, if you knew how good this was, you would've thought about getting her pregnant earlier.

"You s-seem to be enjoying yourself, aren't you?" Aeri mumbled between moans, her mouth slightly open as she tried to stabilize her breathing. "Does it taste that good?".

You felt on cloud 9, your body and mind discovering new feelings as you swallow the girl's sweetness.

"It's so good... tastes so good." you forced yourself to stop for a moment to speak, a drop of milk on the corner of you lips as you licked them, feeling yourself getting thirstier than before. Like a whiny baby, your begging eyes were asking her to let you please her more, you kept thrusting your hips up, making her feel your neediness against her clothed core. Aeri clicked her tongue, but the truth is she needed you just as much. Urgently freeing your cock from your pants, she sat on it, tightly gripping on your shoulders as your big size stretched her. You wanted to growl at the pleasure you were feeling, you could never get used to the way Aeri's tight pussy felt around your cock. So warm, welcoming, so wet. It was just perfect. And Aeri loved it just as much, no matter how often you guys fucked, you always stretched her so good, the perfect mix of pleasure and a pinch of pain. It drove her insane each time.

"Why d-did you stop?! I didn't tell you to stop" she groaned, pushing your head back to her breasts. You quickly went back to your task, you tongue feeling tingly. You wanted to hold Aeri tight against your body, knowing your thrusts could go faster. But if she wanted you like this, completely under her control, then you were more than ok with it. Adrenaline was overtaking you completely. You were happy it was lunch time and the floor was mostly empty 'cause there was no way that somebody outside couldn't hear what was going on inside that office. Between skin slapping against skin and Aeri's loud moans, the room was a mess of obscene noises.

"Ah! just like that~" Aeri would cry as you hit the right spot "Fuck, yeah.. right there, y/n.."

"Yeah? Does my cock make you feel good?" you groaned against her breast, swallowing and letting your tongue make a mess with her oversensitive nipples. Your fast, rough pace was ruining Aeri's mind. She could feel how hot and hard you were inside her.

"Mhmmm fuuuck, baby~" Aeri felt tears in her eyes 'cause of how good you were fucking her. She loved giving herself to you 'cause you really knew how to treat her right, how to make her feel like she was reaching heaven. She half-opened her eyes, just to see how some of her milk was going down your chin, and she felt herself getting so so close to her climax "Please don't stop, please don't stop" she begged in between whimpers.

"Fuck.. I wanna come, Aeri" you said, your focused expression almost looking like you were in pain. You wanted to make her finish first, but you were just so turned on, and she felt so good on your dick, and the taste of her milk in your mouth. You weren't gonna last much longer. That didn't mean you wouldn't keep going for her though "hmm I wanna come inside you, please.."

It almost sounded like you were asking for permission, as if whatever she said was orders for you. And it was like that in the moment, and Aeri knew it. Her hands traveled to your face, kissing you deeply, almost stealing the air from your lungs. At the same time, she started riding you even faster than before, making you moan and whine.

"Fuck, Aeri.. more.. please~" you repeated over and over again, until you finally came so so hard, filling her up 'till you couldn't anymore. It felt beyond good, your thighs were shaking under her, and you could barely open your eyes. But Aeri didn't stop. The feeling of your cum inside her pushed her closer and closer. You were surprisingly still hard, and she needed to come. She fucked herself on your dick, focused on nothing but reaching her sweet climax as well. "Aeri, w-wait.. not so fast p-please, I'm-" you couldn't even speak properly. Your dick was so sensitive, and she was overstimulating you.

"S-shut up... fuck~ you g-get to come, and I don't? I don't think so.. ah.. fuck, so good~" she said in between desperate moans, her forehead sweaty. You couldn't even argue, you'd be crazy to. So with tears in your eyes because of how sensitive you felt, you enjoyed the painful pleasure her tight pussy gave you. "Close.. fucking close.." she gasped, her whimpers getting higher and higher as she came undone on top of you, almost sounding like she wanted to cry 'cause of how good her orgasm hit her.

Once your breathings became normal, you looked at each other, and couldn't help but laugh at the realization of the things you've done. You looked at her, and you wondered how somebody could get more and more beautiful every time you looked at them.

"Can you.. untie me now? my wrists hurt a bit."

————————————————————————

"I'd do anything for you, you know?" You whispered as you caressed her hair. Aeri was lying on your chest, comfortably resting and listening to your heartbeat, only your jacket covering her.

"It's not like fucking me is a challenge for you, is it?" she muttered, making your chest elevate a bit as you giggled.

"True, but I didn't mean just that. I wanna make you happy, I wanna be here for you always. I think.." you carefully considered your words before speaking out loud, but there was no doubt in you "I think I've fallen hard for you, Aeri"

Aeri stopped breathing for a moment, processing your sudden confession. She could feel her heart happily jumping against her chest, making way for a warm, cozy, beautiful sensation to travel everywhere through her body.

"I think I've fallen just as hard, if not even harder."

————————————————————————

The closer you and Aeri got, there was no denying how much you started to feel for each other. There was so much more than just passion between you two. In short time you guys were already calling each other "girlfriend", and surprisingly you'd catch Aeri giggling and giving you dreamy smiles whenever you refer to her as that. After a few months, the f word was already being used.

Fuck.

KIDDING! Fiancée lol

Mr. Uchinaga didn't need to insist or push you guys, because once you let your barriers down and open your hearts to each other, there was no stopping what was happening between you two. So eventually, you proposed to Aeri. You guys started basically living together a while back when you became official, so you prepared the apartment one afternoon. You did it in private first of course, not wanting to put any pressure on her about it, even though her answer felt obvious. But after the "yes", the kisses, the crying, and the celebration in the bed, you planned on doing a nice dinner with friends and family soon. Even though you guys already knew the news, you couldn't help but to cry again as everybody screamed and celebrated in the restaurant.

And of course, the day of the wedding, tears and tears as you put the ring on her finger, kissing her knuckles and then sharing the sweetest kiss ever. The crowd exploded in applauses and congratulations.

"My shaylaa~" you heard Karina cry next to you guys.

"You and Minjeong when, Jimin?" NingNing teased, and Karina pushed her while trying to dry her tears. Minjeong was just sobbing like a baby while clapping, so happy for her sister.

"When are we eating the cake?"

————————————————————————————————————————————————

Once in your bed after the wedding, resting on each other's arms after a passionate encounter that could probably make Aeri pregnant if she already wasn't- you guys were cuddling and talking about life, about the honeymoon, and about the future as a family.

“So how are we gonna tell our kid that we created them in a janitor’s closet?”

“Why the fuck would we ever tell them that?”

I swear this was supposed to be a short thing about sucking boobies and milk and- yeah anyways goodnight.

#kpop gg #kpop imagines #kpop smut #kpop scenarios #aespa smut #aespa giselle smut #aespa giselle #aespa giselle x reader #aespa aeri #uchinaga aeri smut #aeri uchinaga #giselle smut #rich girl! Aeri #g!p reader #Aeri x g!p reader

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dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth · 3 days ago

Text

Just 2 years ago I visited a Pet Smart with my mother. The cashier was a cool dude with these gauges in his ears, and tattoos all over, a real rugged punk type like myself!

But as we approached, my mother outright asked him if it was hard to get a job with all of that. She asked if it's impractical to have gauges and tattoos because what if people think poorly of him?

Completely unprompted. She just suddenly began drilling him.

The cashier, gods be with him, brushed it off and took it like a fucking champ, expressing his love for how he appeared and I can't blame him!! He looked badass as hell!! Yet my mother kept pressing and causing obvious discomfort to not just him and myself but others in line as well, as if somehow her berating questions would get him to change. But that man defended himself relentlessly but kindly and with an upbeat attitude!

My mother literally didn't stop trying to push her point until I ushered her out of the store.

Once, as a little kid, I saw a cashier at the art store with blue hair, and seeing that blue is my favorite color, I wanted to compliment her!!

Before we even got in line, my mother pulled me aside and told me, word for word, "Do not say anything about her hair."

I ignored her, of course, and a few seconds after we arrived at the register, I told the woman I liked her hair a lot!

And my mother just exhaustedly sighed and held her head in utter dismay, IMMEDIATELY reprimanding me verbally for having said anything!!! That cashier told my mother it was fine and she was so happy to hear somebody say something nice about her hair!!

While I was walking with my mother through our neighborhood as a kid, we'd passed by a boy shooting hoops or something, but he was making every shot and well, so I said aloud as we passed, "Wow, that boy is REALLY good!"

And my mother SCOLDED me!! She harshly said, word for word, "Magnus, you DON'T do that!" And she was VERY relentless and angry in how she said it.

I was so confused. I still am.

My grandparents were the exact same. I encountered many situations like this when with them growing up. My aunts did the same, reprimenading me for giving a compliment. But all of them found it completely ok to berate a stranger for any reason at all, prompted or unprompted.

I tried asking my mother why I couldn't say something nice, and she couldn't give a valid explanation no matter how much I asked. All my mother did was continuously insist I don't do that (complimenting a stranger), and that it's rude to say anything of the sort.

Why is it so abhorrent to say someone is good at something? Why is it horrible if I tell someone their appearance is cool? If their talents are great? Why is it acceptable to berate somebody and call them out for any minor reason completely unprompted, but it's not acceptable to voice unprompted kindness and support with genuine desire to share love???

Why is rudeness acceptable but kindness isn't????

Now, I'm autistic, and I don't even pretend to understand social norms. But I do know how kindness can literally save lives, and how it genuinely just makes shit better for everyone no matter if they're having a good day or bad, when they are given a genuine compliment. So I was never sure if this is just some double standard or if it's something deeper, either or obviously being ingrained over many generations, but I say fuck it.

I compliment strangers constantly these days. I tell folks their tattoos are awesome, that I love their earrings, their outfits are so cool and well put together, their hair looks perfect! I compliment folks on their talents, and I'm genuine and heartfelt about it, meaning every word I say with sincerity!!

Strangers have given me hugs! People have broken down crying and hugged me for my I kindness!!! So many people have told me word for word, "That's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me!" And I'm not kidding.

I find every possible reason to compliment somebody, to voice kindness, especially for things such as piercings and hair dye and talents and the sort, especially those that many would disapprove of.

The way I see it is that if nobody ever hears support, then how will they know they're being supported at all? And if all anyone voices is disdain and berating, then how does anyone feel loved and supported??

So yeah. I don't get the whole belief of compliments = rude, and berating = fine. I don't think I'll ever know why this is normalized here.

But I'm damn tired of this because it's the precursor to allowing folks to walk all over you. If you can't voice a kind compliment to another without being shut down, then you're never going to be able to vocalize support of someone in need when they're being berated harshly and given shit left and right.

weird as fuck living in a culture where it's considered more impolite to speak up and defend yourself against someone treating you unfairly than it is for someone to be rude to you in the first place

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valentina-writes · 7 hours ago

Note

Here's an idea for a Azriel x reader fanfic if you're interested! Azriels mate is pregnant and she is a cauldron made high fae. While he's away on a mission. She is taken by his half brothers and put in the cell he spent the early years of his life. Azriel must go rescue her. We love a protective azriel

no grave (can hold my body down)

Azriel x reader

summary: shortly after you find out you're pregnant with Azriel's baby, two illyrians kidnap you on a mission. But it turns out they're not strangers, after all.

warnings: physical violence, predatory behavior, pregnancy, hurt/comfort

genre: angst, (a bit of fluff) | words: 4.3k | masterlist

A/N: Thanks for the idea, anon! Funny enough, I was thinking about opening requests again when this came in (I'll update you on that soon). I really hope you like it ;)

It was a routine mission, nothing more. A quick trip to the illyrian steppes to gather healing herbs, at your own request. To free your head. You had done this countless times, winnow in, pick herbs, winnow out. But not this time.

You were crouched in a meadow, trying to identify the many plants. Every now and then, you pulled out a little booklet with descriptions of the herbs you were looking for, comparing them. But your mind was elsewhere. This morning, Madja had visited you, after weeks of feeling unwell, vomiting and utter exhaustion. Her beaming smile, the wrinkles forming in the corners of her eye, had been a shock, much like her words. You're pregnant, dear.

Pregnant. And instead of being excited, you had felt sick to your stomach and immediately fled from Velaris before Azriel returned from his own mission. And here you were now. It wasn't that you didn't want this baby, or that you were scared Azriel would be anything but elated. But it would change your lives so drastically, so suddenly.

You quietly hummed a sweet melody to yourself. What would he say? What would you do?

Over your song, you didn't hear the birds stop chirping and the wind stilling. Lost in thought, you kept hacking away at the plants before you.

"Who do we have here?". You stilled and then turned, drawing your knife.

It was Azriel standing before you, your beautiful mate. You let your knife sink. His big wings were folded against his back, his soft dark hair blowing in the breeze. You opened your mouth in surprise. He stepped closer. "If that isn't little Y/N".

Why was he here? Why was he talking like this? He was unlike himself, but you couldn't quite make it out. Something about him was different, you mused. Your gaze wandered over him, trying to understand. The wind stilled, and then you saw it. There were no shadows. And the hand, hovering over the knife, that wasn't truth-teller, was unmarked.

You bolted, dropping the pouch you had gathered the herbs in. That had been the first lection Azriel had ever given you. Run. Bring as much distance between you and the opponent as you can and then winnow.

Five steps. That was how far you got, because right before you, another illyrian dropped from the sky. He looked less like Azriel, but the similarity was still startling. So much that you lost a precious second staring at him. A second he used to grab your arms in place and throw away your knife. And he blew something into your face, a kind of powder that left a heavy metallic tang in your nostrils. Faebane. Strong hands gripped you by your neck from behind.

"My favorite sister in law", Azriel's brother before you crooned, "what a shame the invitations for the mating ceremony got lost. I would've loved to see the bastard-union". The faebane burned in your nose and in your mouth. The grip of the male behind you was so strong around your neck that you were fighting for each intake of breath, trying to cough out as much of the poison as possible.

Don't panic, you thought to yourself, fighting to stay composed. You gathered all of your magic, tried to fold the cosmos and step right into the next world. You imagined the old woods and fields of fire-like flowers and gathered all your energy. But the power escaped your grasp. It wasn't enough to winnow. Not to a different world, not to Velaris, not even to the other side of the meadow. The power inside you had dwindled into a small spark.

And the bond. The mating bond inside your chest numbed down, its glow being cast into darkness. You grasped at it, but it escaped your reach. With your last spark of power, you grapped the bond, refused to let go, even when it ran tight and fickle, and tugged. Hard. Harder than ever and only let go when the bond went fully dark.

"You will die". They didn't expect you to fight. The surprise was on your side when you kneed the one in front of you straight in the groin. His eyes widened and the warrior dropped to his knees, but still wouldn't let go. A second kick made him groan, dropping his arms and cursing under his breath. But there was no way you could shrug off the other one, his hands still tight around your neck. Not without the knife. You clawed at his hands, kicked at him, but he was just too big and you were too exhausted. Your cauldron-given powers were stolen from you. Under normal circumstances they would've been dead the second they laid hands on you. Not today.

He was hard against you now. Bile rose up in your throat at the feeling of him rubbing against you. "What a feisty little bitch you are", he whispered into your ear. And then he squeezed your neck hard and the world turned dark.

It was dark around you. A blackness so infinite you couldn't make out your own hand engulfed you. You had no recollection how you got here. The stone floor you lay on was nastily cold and wet, draining any warmth from your body. Any energy from you and the baby. The baby. Your hand shot to your stomach and chains rattled on the floor at the movement. They had shackled you. The cuffs were ice-cold around your wrists and so tight it hurt. A whimper escaped your lips. With soft strokes, you caressed your stomach. How unfair it was for this little baby. In a few weeks, you would start to show, you realized. You forbid yourself imagining what Azriel's brothers would do to your unborn child if they found out.

You sat upright. The chains that bound you to the wall allowed you to move through the cell. You explored every inch of it. There was nothing but cold stone and a bucket to relieve yourself. No door. Not even a window. This was the place Azriel had spent his childhood in, you were sure of it. He seldom talked about this time period. But from what you knew, from what he screamed during his nightmares and afterwards whispered to you, gasping for breath, this was it. Now, often you woke up screaming, too, haunted by dreams of a little winged boy sharing your cell. But you didn't allow yourself to cry. Not once.

Had he even felt the last tug you had given the bond? Azriel was on the continent, as far as you knew. Maybe your magic had been too weak, the distance too far. There was no way of knowing whether he was aware that you were gone. But then again, you tried to console yourself, Rhys knew exactly where you had last been. They will rescue me, you repeated again and again. They will find me.

You couldn't tell how much time had passed already. In the beginning, you screamed and shouted and tugged on the shackles, so hard the skin rubbed away and left a bloody mess. Every now and then, you tried reaching for the bond, for your mate. But it was gone, just like your powers.

The only thing that disturbed the emptiness of the cell was stale bread and water. Sometimes it seemed like not even an hour had passed between meals, sometimes it felt like days. The food was poisoned, you were sure. But, after a few days, hunger won over all else, and you ate the faebane. Everytime you ate, you prayed to the Mother. Not the baby. Let it survive. Don't let the poison affect it.

There was no way to tell the time, not even a sound from outside the cell reached you, but more than a week must have passed before they came to see you. Light broke the dark void. Violent beams of it hit your eyes, blinding you almost entirely after - what? - days? weeks? in the darkness. You had no clue how long you had been here already.

"How is little Y/N?", a deep voice sounded. His face was unrecognizable, so blinded were you, but it was the one you had kicked in the balls, you were fairly certain. His tone was pure mockery. "Tired of this yet?"

You wouldn't give him the pleasure of seeing your distress. "What do you want?"

"See how my little bastard sister in law is doing, of course".

"If you're so concerned for my wellbeing, maybe you shouldn't have put me in a cell"

"No, I think you're exactly where you belong. Where he also belongs". Your heart twisted. Azriel had spent years in this cell. Images of his child-self forced its way into your mind. His hands, freshly burned and torturingly painful. His wings, useless and limp because they had never taught him to use them. You slowly breathed in. Now you needed to be strong for all three of you. Not despair.

"Let me go. I haven't done anything to you. I don't even know you. Let me out"

"You're right. But word says not only the Archeron sisters came out of the Cauldron and took something from it. That when you were made you bargained with the Mother herself and she loved you so much she gave you a power like no other". Your blood ran cold. Thoughts of the day you came out of the Cauldron swirled through your head. Azriel's face as he watched in horror, half-dead. The bond snapping immediately. The Mother. The gift.

"What do you want?"

"I'm here to offer a bargain myself". You didn't answer. It was clear what he wanted.

He tried once again. "What is it that the cauldron gifted you? That has the high lord make the mountains shake in rage at your disappearance?". Finally, you could make out his face. You studied him quietly. His face was twisted into a sneer, eyes dead. There was no empathy in his gaze, no sign of remorse. And it didn't seem to occur to him that Rhys would always go to the end of the world to rescue his brother's mate, no matter their power.

You stilled, thinking. He didn't even know what powers you possessed exactly. Was it all an act of speculation?

He grabbed you by your hair, forcing you to look him in the eye. His grip was so strong it brought tears to your eyes. "Answer me, bitch"

"Maybe you should've investigated on my powers before throwing me in your little dungeon", you hissed. He dropped your head immediately. His big hand met your face with a thundering bang, so hard the back of your head met the stone wall with a sickening thud. A pained gasp left your lips. Your cheek burned where he had striked and your skull. Your skull was ringing, throbbing so hard you saw stars and a wet patch formed at the back of it. Hot, blazing pain killed every thought in your head but one. Not the baby.

"All talk, no bite", he chuckled and kneeled down before you. "Let me get this straight. You service me and my brother with your power and in exchange you get to leave the cell". It was such a shitty bargain, under normal circumstances you would've laughed. But all you could do was sob at the pain blooming in your skull, the sounds of it ricocheting off the walls.

Another voice, right at the trap door. The other brother. "Try not to kill her"

The male before you retreated.

"Leave her. She will come to her senses soon".

They left you there, bleeding on the floor. No healer came. The wound stopped bleeding after a while, but the throbbing pain remained. You drifted in and out of sleep, only awake long enough to retch up the little food you got. You would never return home. Azriel would never get to meet his child, not even know he was a father.

He came back regularly. Each time, he offered the same bargain. Each time, you refused a little less violently.

"Tell me about your powers", he would demand again and again. And you would shake your head until he hit and kicked you, until you were a sobbing mess on floor of the cell. But you didn't tell him.

Until, one day, the other one came. The one with the predatory glint in his eye, the one who had gotten hard at your tries to get away from him. He was so tall he had to crouch before you. And when he threatened to touch you, when he whispered into the darkness how he would use you, you had broken down. The words had spilled out of you like your tears and for a moment you were scared he would touch you anyways. I can winnow between worlds. But he only grinned and left. He had what he wanted. The next time he'd ask, he knew you'd accept whatever bargain he would offer.

That night, the darkness around you felt different. It wasn't empty. Something was watching you. You tried to ignore it, to simply fall asleep, but its presence made it impossible. So, you searched every inch of the cell. On hands and knees you crept through the small room, trying to find whatever it was. You found nothing but cold hard stone. But it was there. Everywhere. And when you finally closed your eyes again and laid your head against the cold stone, the darkness became a thing. And you could have sworn it sung a lullaby to you, in the language of the wind.

The trap door swung open once again. Blazing Light blinded you and you could barely make out a tall illyrian landing before you. He was too big for this cell. His wings scraped against the walls on both sides, and his head was ducked low as to not bump into the ceiling.

You scurried away from him, using your hands on the wall to guide you into the farthest corner. Inside you, your heart hammered against your ribs. This was it. He'd force you into the bargain.

The male extended a hand to you. You couldn't see more than his outlines, so blinding was the light. "Y/N, it's me".

You bared your teeth at the male and hissed. "I'll do what you want but if you touch me one more time, I'll fucking kill you".

A sharp intake of breath. "I'll get you out of here, Y/N. Please. It's me, Azriel". His tone was pleading, his voice oh so familiar. But it couldn't be him. Just another one of their tricks to get you to comply.

You dropped your head against the cold stone. "At least make it quick this time", you mumbled.

The male crouched down before you. Slowly, your eyes adapted to the light and you could make out his features. He looked like your mate. The golden specks in his hazel eyes, the dark locks of hair. But then again, his brothers looked so similar. It must have been wishful thinking. A trick of the light.

"I'm here to bring you home", he whispered, his voice breaking. Soft tendrils of air swirled over your shackled wrists, tugging at the cuffs. Dark and silky, kissing your raw skin where you had rubbed it open trying to free yourself. The male's hands met your face, stroking your cheeks. Scarred hands, wiping away tears that were running from your eyes.

Your head snapped up. "Azriel". It was more an outcry than anything, strangled and barely understandable. You flung yourself at him, as far as the confines allowed.

"Shhh, I'm here, I'm here. We're going home. Everything will be okay". Another figure appeared behind him and the shackles dissolved into thin air. Azriel was all over you in an instant. His strong hands roamed your body, pressed you tightly against him as if to never let you go again. You sobbed into his shoulder. He had come for you. He had saved you. "It's over. It's over. You have been so strong", Azriel whispered to you. He pressed a kiss to your temple and threaded his hand into your hair, where he met-

"Ow", you sobbed harder as he touched the wound. Azriel's hands immediately let go and curled aaround your shoulders instead.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry they did this to you".

"Get her out, Cass and I will handle the rest", the other person said. You had almost forgotten about him. Rhysand, you registered. Azriel picked you up, your limbs curling around his strong body. Your face buried into the crook of his neck, still whimpering against his shoulder. But it were tears of joy. His wings closed in around you immediately.

"No. I want to see the light leave their eyes for what they have done to my mate". His tone was cold, unyielding. So unlike the soft hand stroking your back, the nose buried in your hair, breathing in your scent deeply.

"Then I will keep them alive. But first, you leave. Now".

He stepped through the wind with you in his arms. You didn't feel it in his tight embrace, but he must have winnowed because moments later he sat down on your bed with you on his lap. His wings folded around you half-way, so that light could still come through. The familiarity of the sight took your breath away. You'd thought you would never be with him like this again.

"You're at home", Azriel whispered to you. "It's okay, we're at home". Strangled sounds filled the room, sobs and whines and only when his rough hands stroked your back and he told you to breathe, you realized you were crying and you were making the sounds.

"My love, I've got you. You're safe here". You forced yourself to breathe and dropped your head to his chest.

"Shh, I'm here. They can't hurt you anymore". Azriel kissed your head. You counted his breaths, trying to mimic them, In – out – in – out, and took in his scent of night-chilled air and cedar.

You didn't know how long you stayed this way until you could breathe again and stopped sobbing. Only then did you realize what had happened.

"I thought I'd never see you again", you forced out. Tears were welling up in your eyes again, but you willed them away.

For a while, you only stared at him, marveling his beauty. The way the sun illuminated the gold and emerald streaks in his eyes. His hair that was already a bit too long for his liking and fell into his forehead. The gloriously full lips you loved so much. How could you have ever mistaken your captors for your mate?

"How did you find me?", you finally asked with a hoarse voice.

"I felt the bond". Azriel nearly choked on his words. "That last tug – and then it went dark and I thought I had lost you". A tear rolled down his cheek and you tightened your grasp around his waist. "We searched the steppes for you, but there was nothing. And then, last night... my shadows called out to me. Across the entire court". The darkness singing a song to you, the thing in the night. You hadn't made it up.

You stared at him in awe. "How?". They never strayed far from him.

"I send them into every corner of Prythian and... it had been so long and I didn't think they'd find you. But then they were called to where they came from". He dropped his face onto the crown of your head and pressed a kiss to it.

"It was so dark in there". Your breath hitched at the thought of the cell. Lightly, you rubbed over the scabs at your wrists behind his back. "And I was so alone. Until I wasn't"

"What do you mean?"

"Something was there - it... it watched me. And then it turned into something else. And sang me to sleep." Realization hit you. "I think that were your shadows".

"Was that... was that what it was like for you as well? When you were in that cell? I thought about you every second, how you spent your childhood in there and..." He frowned.

His gaze was very far away, centuries ago. "It was the same. Only that nobody came for me". HIs eyes met yours and turned soft at the pain that was painted on your face. "I'll tell you all about it. In a while, when you feel better".

You laid your head onto his shoulders again and held onto him. You weren't quite sure who was comforting who now. Maybe you found solace in each other, through the hardhips you had shared.

But there was something else you shared. Someone.

You drew back slightly and locked eyes with him again. "I was so scared, Az. I thought I'd never see you again". You grasped his hand and laid it on your stomach. The anxiety you had felt the morning you had found out about the pregnancy was all gone. "I thought I'd die and you'd never even know that you are a dad".

His eyes widened in surprise. "What?"

"That day, Madja came to see me and told me. That's why I went to the steppes, to free my head and think before telling you". Tears ran down your cheeks again now. "I wish I had just stayed home and wited for you to return", you weeped.

"You're pregnant?" There were tears pooling in his eyes as well. "My Y/N. My mate. Thinking I had lost you was the worst I've ever felt. But to think I could've lost both of you, without even knowing...". Azriel broke off and pulled you into a tight hug, his hands shaking.

He took your face in his hands and kissed away the tears.

"Are you happy, Az?". Your voice was barely a whisper.

"I couldn't be happier now that I have you back. And I couldn't be happier about our baby". Azriel's lips met yours in a soft caress. He tasted like home.

You didn't leave the bed all day. You stayed with him, curled underneath the covers. Azriel kissed away the pain and held your hand when Madja came to check on the baby and your head. You both were healthy, thank the Mother. And when Madja was gone, Azriel wrapped you in his arms and wings and never let go. He didn't urge you to talk any more about what had happened. Maybe the frail wisps of midnight air that circled around you now had told him everything already.

"I will kill them for what they did to you", Azriel whispered after he had made love to you slowly. Your naked limbs were still tangled with his, his entire body splayed over you, as if shielding you from the outside world.

Your breath hitched in your chest and Azriel planted a soft kiss on your jaw.

"No". His entire body turned rigid and he rolled off you without letting go.

"Why no? Y/N, I can't let them live after what they did", he murmured, kissing up your cheek, "I wasn't there to protect you. This is the only way I can make up for what happened".

Your hug around him grew tighter. "It's not your fault. I reacted too late. There is no debt to pay me, Az. And even if there was, you would've paid it back the moment you brought me home". Your hands threaded into his hair.

Azriel buried his face in your neck and his shadows stroked your cheek. "Please. I will never forgive myself for leaving you both unprotected. Please let me make it up to you. To the baby. If you were any other male's mate, if you were Cassian's mate or Rhys's they wouldn't have done this to you. It's because of me".

He meant it. Your heart dropped at the realization. He thought he was responsible.

"It's not your fault, none of this"

He wanted to interrupt you, but you didn't let him. "Not for this and not for what they did to you as a child. I don't want you to kill them for me. At least not only for me. I want you to kill them for what they did to you as well"

He stilled for a moment and then nodded slowly. "I can live with that".

"Good". You closed your eyes and soaked up his warmth. There was no other way you wanted to spend your future with him. You'd die a happy death in a thousand years if all you did until then was lay in bed next to your mate.

A wisp of air circled around your wrist, darted over chest and pooled over your stomach where it stayed, humming.

"It's yours now", Azriel murmured into your hair, "that's the one that found you. It told me it won't leave your side again".

Your fingers threaded through the shadowy tendrils and you could've sworn they purred at your touch.

"And I will also never leave your side", he whispered before his lips met yours.

#azriel x reader #azriel x y/n #azriel #azriel acotar #azriel imagine #azriel shadowsinger #acotar writing #azriel x reader angst #azriel angst #azriel x reader fluff #azriel fluff #azriel x you #azriel x reader imagine #azriel hurt/comfort #hurt/comfort

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lostinlovingrevery · 2 days ago

Text

Audience

Worst Wolverine X F! Reader

You put yourself in a dangerous situation and Logan didn't appreciate it

A/N: This is just a silly lil fic, it was originally planned to be smth else but I changed my mind but didn't want to get rid of what I had!

Warnings: Canon-typical violence, Marvel cameos, blood mention, Reader having no survival instinct lol, Logan gets mad at reader, fluff at the end! suggestive ending ;)

You’re not quite sure what happened.

You were just enjoying a simple afternoon at your favorite coffee shop. You got your sweet treat, a caramel cider, and a strawberry donut - delicious. It’d been a nice day, sunny, warm, so you sat outside at one of the little tables offered out there. Took the day off from work- just because. Someone complimented your new dress!

The only bummer was that your boyfriend couldn’t make it. Logan called, his voice being more unusually angry than it is on the phone, told you he wouldn’t be able to make it to your planned coffee date. Said that something came up- you swear you heard Wade in the background during this conversation. Decided to not ask why, if it involves Wade, you don’t wanna know. Logan promised he’d make it up to you, and knowing him, he will.

So you enjoyed your solo coffee date, while you did miss Logan, it was quiet- rarely do you get a moment to yourself. Then you heard the sounds of fighting- a few screams, and people running away. You stood up from your chair, eyes searching for the supposed chaos that was happening. All you saw was people running, some looking more disheveled than others. You caught one woman by her arm,

“What’s happening?”

“A bunch of those-..UGH! mutant freaks are fighting it out!” She shakes her head, escaping your grip and continuing to run.

Mutant-?

Oh.

Against your better judgement, you had to confirm her words. You ran against the crowd, people shoving you to the side but you ignored it, too curious- wanting to see what was happening. If it’s what you think it is, you couldn’t miss out.

You reached the corner, an intersection. When you looked left, that’s when you saw it. Cars tossed on their side. Multiple police cars, police barricades, a few swat trucks.

A really big dude with a helmet on, a guy with a metal arm-

no, not that one, the other one,

a familiar asshole in red spandex, a second guy in re- holy shit, is that Spiderman?

The scene was chaotic. Some of the costumed heros you didn’t know, all of them fighting against the big dude, and if you knew your lore right- you could guess that it was Juggernaut. When Wade would go on his drunken rants about his adventures with a groups of misfits, he mentioned that he had no clue what happened to Juggernaut after he was well…You rather not repeat how Wade described it.

You saw a flash of yellow, and you recognized it as your man, and you were quickly vexed. You knew better though, this was dangerous- you should leave.

As you turned to run down the street, you heard a commotion, and then a car landed right in front of you- inches from your face. You couldn’t even let out a sound. You way was a bit….blocked, so you opted to hid yourself behind a street tree and watch the fight go down- and see Logan in action.

The fight was intense. Juggernaut was strong, fast. You watched him power through multiple cars and barricades, tossing various heros aside as he charged after Logan. His stomping rumbled the ground below you, and your heard the windows of the apartment building behind you shake with each step, threatening to break.

You gasped as he reached Logan, but instead of Logan getting pummeled to death, he holds his own. Snarling with gritted teeth, he threw the first punch. The metal clang the echoed through the street sent made you wince, putting your nerves on edge.

Logan may have metal bones but that could not have felt good.

A few punches are thrown at each other- both taking them well. Logans claws came out, as he roared. One leap and hes on Juggernauts back, stabbing his claws into the giants shoulders. Spiderman (woah!) comes swinging in, using his webs to wrap around his legs, knocking Juggernaut down to the ground.

You really wanted to cheer- but decided that you should probably keep your mouth shut since you don’t believe anyone has spotted you yet, best to be kept that way. Logan probably wouldn’t appreciate you putting yourself in a potential path of danger just because you wanted to be a fangirl.

The victory didn’t last long. Spidey’s webs quickly torn as the Juggernaut pulled Logan off and tossed him to the side- which he landed into the side of the car, creating an ginormous dent into the metal and breaking the windows. He lunged after spiderman, who jumped away. Wade charged after him next, sticking his katanas into his side. Juggernaut- seemed unaffected, grabbed Wade and-

You looked away, not wanting to see his arms be torn off. Again.

Logan snarled again, having removed himself from the car, he lunged onto Juggernauts back once as he drops Wades limbs to the ground. You watching his arms hooks around his shoulders, locking his arms from being able to grab Logan again.

You couldn’t deny, seeing Logan fighting- way hotter than it should be. You’ve seen him fight before, typical bar fights, usually ones where he gets pissed because some guy had the nerve to check you out right in front of him.

While you didn’t believe the fighting was neccessary, you did love Logan defending your honor.

This time though, there was something particularly attractive. Maybe it was the suit. You never saw it on him completely- Only the pants and the cowl. The first time you met, he and Wade had walked by your apartment as you were leaving, looking like they came out of hell. You didn’t even know Logan got his suit repaired, a suspicion that Wade was likely behind it.

Either way, Logan looked damn good with that suit.

Logan seemed to have frozen for a moment, and you watched with confusion as he hold on the Juggernaut loosens, who eventually grabbed Logan and throws him across the street, right next to you.

He slams into the brick of the building, creating a divot in the wall, as pieces crumbled around him. He groaned, cursing under his breath and his head lfits up- and sees you staring back at him with wide eyes.

You smile awkwardly, and gave him a small wave.

“Hi baby-”

“What the hell are you doing here?!” He snarls as he pushes himself out of the building. Stomping over to you, pieces of brick and dust fell off his shoulder. You cowered, like a child being scolded. In the background, Spiderman, Cable, and a few others attempt to fight off Juggernaut. Wade was spinning around- armless, and blood shooting out, he was thrusting his shoulders forward side to side as if he was throwing punches with his arms, abandoned nearby.

“Well I- I was just in the neighborhood and I saw you-”

“You should not be here!” His voice turned low and angry. You press your lips together.

“Well-” You stammered, trying to think of an excuse, gesturing to him and the fight happening besides you both on the street. “What about you- You canceled our date for work?!”

He stares at you incredously. You sigh, dropping your shoulders, “That’s not gonna work.…”

He stuck a finger in your face. “Go home. We’ll talk about this later.” He sneers, but honestly,it only turned you on more. The anger, just barely concealed by his mask with his lips curled back and his teeth bared, the way he towered over you. The suit stretched over his muscles…

You noticed his nostrils flare, but before he could say anything, a large piece of debris was thrown at you both, in which he grabbed you and dodged it, careful to make sure no harm came to you.

“You need to get the hell out of here-” He says, concealing you from the fight. He looks around, searching for a safe and quick escape route for you. Just then, Spiderman had landed next to the both of you. “You-” He pointed at him, waving him over.

“Oh- Yeah? Mr.Wolverine sir?”

“Just…Wolverine.” Logan shook his head. “Take her home.” He motions to you with his hand.

“I can get home by myself-” You stopped, and looked at the spider hero with confusion. “Are you a teenager?” You ask, upon hearing his slightly higher pitched voice.

“No!”

“You couldn’t even stay away from a fight!” Logan snaps at you. You put your hands on your hips.

“Lo- Wolverine- Don’t you talk to me like that!” You snapped back.

“Uh so what am I doing?” Spiderman says awkwardly, clapping his hands together and bouncing on the heels of his feet.

“She lives on Elm street.” Logan says. Actually, you both live on Elm street. You were going to correct him- for no real reason, but was interrupted.

“You-”

Juggernaut lets out a yell, and starts charging towards you three. Logan snarls, getting into position to fight.

“Take her!”

“Right!” Spidey, grabs onto you, “Hi ma’am!”

He shoots a web, and you’re before lifted off the ground just into time, as Juggernaut slams into Logan and the fight continues. You’re screaming, clinging to the young hero in fear as he swings from building to building.

“So, like- are you and Wolverine a thing?” He asks amidst your screams.

You’re back home now. You’ve been anxiously cleaning, doing laundry, even cleaned out the fridge. Waiting for Logan- and the inevitable scolding he was going to give you. You were preparing all sorts of arguments. Like, why didn’t you tell me you were going back to superhero business?

Which you were a tad butthurt about. He canceled your date, that doesn’t upset you- but he could have been honest about why.

Just as you sat down, thats when the door to your apartment opened and Logan stepped in. He was still wearing his suit and cowl, although it was a bit torn and dirtied up now.

You stood up from your chair, fiddling with your hands nervously as you looked at him. He stepped inside, a frown on his face as he slammed the door shut behind him. He turned, making sure to click the lock shut.

“Logan-”

“Save it.”

He walks over to you, and you made yourself smaller to him. Looking up at him with big, innocent eyes. You pout your lip.

“Don’t make yourself cute.” He shook his head. “That was stupid. That was really fucking stupid. You could have gotten killed! What if I wasn’t there? The others couldn’t stop him! What if he went after you, you-” He stopped himself, a small shake of his lips, a flare of his nostrils- you could see he was trying to calm himself down.

“I-” You opened your mouth to defend yourself, and closed it. Surprised to see so much emotion coming from him. “Yeah, I know.” You looked down, with a dejected tone. “I was originally going to leave and then this car got thrown at me and-”

“That’s exactly why you shouldn’t have been there.” His tone becomes less angry, and more firm. “What was the point? Huh?”

“Well I….” You bit your lip looking away. “I just, I guess I wanted to see you in action. Why didn’t you tell me what you were doing?”

He stares at you, and lets out a sigh. He pulled down the cowl, so you could see him completely. “I didn’t want you to know.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s dangerous.” He says. “Everyone….Everyone I knew that was apart of this stuff. They….”

You stepped closer to him, putting a hand on his chest. “I’m fine Logan. Aside from that terrifying trip with Spidey-”

“Spidey?”

“He’s a pretty sweet kid actually.”

Logan sighs. “I could smell you. While I was fighting, and it fucking terrified me. I didn’t know how or why you were there. Didn’t even know where you were till I finally saw you.”

“When the fighting started I ran to see what was happening. I thought maybe it was Wade pulling his usual antics, or the X-men. I actually didn’t expect to see you.” You explain. “It was kinda cool to see you in action though…”

“Bub, listen.” He puts his hands on your arms, pulling you closer. “You can’t be doing that shit. It’s dangerous. You could get hurt, or worse. I can’t have that.”

You looked at him, hearing the sincerity of his voice, the concern. It’s not something you heard from him before. Logan was always a bit gruff, had a bit trouble talking about his feelings but you were okay with that because you were always willing to put in the effort to make things work. Slowly, you nodded.

“Lo?” You say his name softly.

“Yeah?”

“Why are you doing this?” You ask. “I thought you said you were done with the superhero stuff. After everything you’ve been through.”

He was silent. Not answering initially, You could see he was thinking in his head what he wanted to say. You half-expected a bullshit excuse, or him blaming Wade, dragging him into it or something.

“You.” He says. “I’m doing it for you. To be better.”

You took in his answer, and once processed, you didn’t hesitate to kiss him. Your arms wrapping around his neck to pull him closer. He immediately returned the sentiment, wrapping his around you tightly. His lips moved eagerly against yours, before nipping at your bottom lip- eliciting giggles from you.

“Still pent up huh?” You muttered against him.

“Want to find out?” He grumbled, pulling your hips against his.

“Mm…I love the suit by the way.” You hummed. “Mister Superhero.”

“Ah- Don’t call me that.”

“Alright, Wolverine.”

“Better. Much better.”

#logan howlett #wolverine #logan howlett x reader #logan howlett x you #logan howlett fanfiction #wolverine x reader #vans daydreams #logan howlett fic #worst wolverine #worst wolverine x reader #wolverine fluff

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supernovafics · 24 hours ago

Text

𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐌𝐀

pairing: rockstar!eddie munson x actress!reader

word count: 5.9k words

summary: in which, after knowing of him for a while, you finally meet eddie munson at a movie premiere

warnings: explicit language, some fluff, smut (18+), fingering (f!receiving)

author’s note: yes this is very much inspired by the harry styles song. i had this idea like a year ago and then i left it unfinished for months upon months but it’s finally finally done now so enjoy<333

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“Aside from Steve, is there anyone else I’m going to know at this premiere?”

Maybe you should’ve asked Melissa that question before you were on your way to the theater in West Hollywood where the movie premiere was taking place. That would’ve given you more time to mentally prepare if your publicist’s answer was no; which would mean that you’d have to have a fake smile plastered on your face during most of the night.

You slightly shifted in the backseat of the car you sat in with Melissa on your left. You were trying not to move too much or even get comfortable in your seat during the drive for fear of somehow messing up the simple black dress you were wearing. Tonight didn’t even really matter for you, you knew that. You were only going to this premiere to support a friend, and the red carpet walk you’d have to do would be a quick and very unimportant one, but you still felt the need to make sure that you were perfect.

Melissa started listing names you quickly recognized, people you’d worked with before or had a handful of passing conversations with. “Oh, and Eddie Munson is gonna be there as well.”

“Oh,” You said, looking down at your dress and smoothing out a non-existent wrinkle. You cleared your throat and attempted to act as nonchalant about it as possible. “Oh, cool. Why is he going to a movie premiere?”

“His band worked on the soundtrack for the movie.”

You nodded at that. “Oh, okay.”

“You two should try to get a picture together. That would be really great,” She said, taking a quick glance at you before going back to look at her phone. “After the interview thing, people would love seeing this.��

You more so saw that whole situation as “the interview incident” instead of simply “the interview thing.” It was only a few months ago when you had to do some promotional interviews for a movie you filmed earlier in the year, and you had been randomly asked about your favorite music. You talked about Corroded Coffin’s latest album and you specifically mentioned Eddie’s great songwriting and voice. You went on something close to a ramble about him and his band and then regretted it immediately when you were done because you knew that you probably sounded something equivalent to an obsessed fangirl. And, of course, none of it got cut out of the video.

And then, about a month later, Melissa sent you an article about an interview Eddie did where he mentioned one of your movies and also said that you were one of his favorite actresses. You felt entirely indifferent about the article because it just seemed way too coincidental to you. You knew that his publicist and Melissa were a part of the same firm, so it made sense that they would wanna do something to potentially “stir” something up.

You let out a sigh. “I know that you told his publicist to have him mention me in his next interview.”

Melissa only shrugged in response. “He and his band have gotten so big in the last year, and you’re getting really big right now too. This could be a great moment.” She took another look at you and smiled. “Just saying.”

You knew that in the grand scheme of things, she only wanted what was best for you, and you appreciated that; it was why she’d been your publicist since you had started your career in your teens. But, that didn’t mean that you liked these kinds of curated moments, pretending and staging friendships or even relationships— it all just felt so dumb to you, and it was your least favorite part of your job. But, you still always found yourself listening.

“I’ll try,” You ultimately told her. “No promises, though.”

When you made it to the theater, it was a sea of people and cameras, loud voices and bright flashes; none of which necessarily fazed you anymore. In the beginning, you had loved this kind of thing because it all just felt so magical and surreal. You’d get excited and nervous jitters at the “glamour” of it all. Now going to any event only felt like putting on a show; it somehow felt like more of a performance than actually doing a scene in front of a whole production crew of people.

You followed Melissa and listened to her tell you what the plan of action would be for the next half an hour until the actual premiere started— you’d take some quick pictures, and then she’d introduce you to “a few very important people that you should build some sort of a rapport with;” the director of the movie and a few of the executive producers. You nodded along to her words, understanding that you’d need to turn on your charm during those brief introductions, while your eyes were focused on the red carpet just like almost everyone else’s was— looking at Steve and the female lead of the movie, walking the carpet separately and then also taking a few pictures together.

You smiled a bit at seeing Steve because, more often than not, it was nice to see him. The first big movie you did was with him; a romantic comedy that you now saw as way too cheesy, but you still had the fondest memories of it. The two of you didn’t talk or see each other as often as you did back then during filming and during all of the press that was done for the movie, but you’d still always consider him a good friend. One of your first real friends in the industry, even though everyone had always tried to say that it was more.

You then noticed Eddie and his bandmates. He looked nice— a simple black suit with a white button-up underneath, a bowtie that you couldn’t help but think was insanely cute, and his long curly hair mildly tamed in a way that looked effortless.

Almost too abruptly his eyes met yours. Instead of immediately looking away and avoiding his gaze, you gave him a small smile and nod, and he did the same; that was the extent of the nonverbal interaction. Seconds later, you were being ushered along by Melissa and you pulled your eyes away from Eddie and focused on what she was telling you.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

In your mind, an entire hour was more than enough time spent at the after-party.

You’d been in enough conversations with unfamiliar faces, introducing yourself and attempting to make new “connections” with people, as per Melissa’s request. And you also talked to a few old friends, accepting invitations to get lunch sometime soon and “catch up about life.”

You were ready to finally head home for the night, and you tried to spot Melissa among the small crowd of people to tell her just that. Maybe you’d even say a quick goodbye to Steve and congratulate him one more time on the movie; which you had actually really enjoyed.

A tap on your shoulder grabbed your attention and you turned your head. You weren’t entirely sure who you were expecting to see, but it definitely wasn’t Eddie Munson.

“Hey, I’m Eddie,” He said and extended his hand toward you, which you took after only a millisecond of awkward hesitation.

“Hi,” You responded softly, suddenly feeling so nervous for some reason, and then said your name as well.

You had come to the conclusion early on in your career that you shouldn’t meet people that you admired or were fond of because nine times out of ten they actually turned out to be assholes. You only knew about Eddie from afar and you honestly wouldn’t have minded keeping it that way. But, that wasn’t the current set of circumstances you were in, so you had to completely throw that mindset away.

“I didn’t know your band worked on the soundtrack until tonight. The songs you guys had in the movie were great,” You told him, voice coming back to life. “I really love all of your music, honestly.”

“Thanks,” He smiled at you. “I love your stuff too.”

You gave him a small shy smile as you shook your head. “It’s okay, you don’t have to do that.”

“No, I’m serious,” He told you, and he actually sounded like he was being honest. “That Indie film you did last year was really great.”

It was hard to hide the immediate shock you felt at his words. “Oh, okay, wow, thank you…” You shook your head again. “Sorry, I was just so sure that your publicist told you to say that in your next interview or something after the interview I did came out.”

“Oh, yeah, she did, but it didn’t feel right saying that without seeing anything of yours, so I watched a bunch of your stuff.”

Hearing him say that warmed your heart a bit and you had to pull your eyes away from his in response at first— he saw your movies and actually liked them. And then you thought about something.

“Oh god, I hope you didn’t go too far back in my filmography.”

He smirked at your sudden shyness. “Don’t worry, I didn’t watch that Disney Channel Halloween movie you did when you were, like, seventeen.”

“Good,” You told him, laughing a bit.

Before either of you could say anything else, a photographer was walking up and grabbing your attention.

“Hi, can I get a quick picture of you two?”

You both nodded and stepped closer to one another; Eddie placed an arm around your waist and you did the same to him. You told yourself that everything about this moment was completely and utterly innocent and friendly, even though having him this close to you felt too nice.

When the photographer walked away after saying a quick “Thanks,” you pulled away from each other and you pretended that you didn’t immediately miss his warmth.

“Can’t wait to see that circulating everywhere tomorrow,” You said.

Eddie laughed a bit. “Our publicists would be very proud.”

“This just might be able to get me out of going to this annoying event tomorrow,” You responded and then noticed his eyes becoming fixated on something behind you. You tilted your head at him. “What’s wrong?”

His gaze met yours again. “Do you wanna meet the other guys? They keep gesturing to me.”

You glanced behind you and noticed his two bandmates standing maybe fifteen feet away from you both. They were waving wildly at Eddie and then immediately stopped and attempted to look as normal as possible when you looked at them. You laughed as you turned back to Eddie. “Yeah, sure, I’d love to meet them.”

He waved them over and then looked at you. “I should probably warn you that they still get starstruck over almost any celebrity they see, so yeah… They might be a little intense, at first.”

“That’s how I was in the beginning too. Until I realized that most people you meet suck anyway,” You said with a shrug, and then realized your words and immediately felt like an idiot. “Oh, um, not you, though, you’re cool.”

He let out a quiet laugh at how flustered you became. “You’re cool too.”

Instead of responding with an awkward “Thank you,” you turned your attention to the pair now walking over to you both.

“This is Gareth and Jeff,” Eddie said, pointing out each of them, but you already knew who was who. That was probably the funniest part about meeting other “celebrities;” introductions felt unnecessary but they still always just seemed like the normal thing to do.

You smiled. “Hi, I’m–”

“Oh, we definitely know who you are,” Jeff interrupted, which made you laugh a little. “That movie you did last year was so good. We watched it a bunch of times when we were on tour a couple of months ago. It’s awesome to meet you.”

“Thanks so much,” You said. “It’s great to meet you guys too. I love your guys’ band.”

“My personal favorite of yours is that romcom you did with Steve Harrington. I forced them to watch it at least three times,” Gareth jumped in. “Oh, we also just met him too. He invited us to his house for the after-party he’s having. You’re coming, right, Eds?”

He nodded at the question. “Yeah, sure.” You then felt his eyes land on you. “Are you going?”

If it had been anyone else asking you that, it would’ve probably felt easier to say your initially honest answer of “No.”

Steve found any and every reason to have a party, but you had to admit, at least tonight’s made sense. When you talked to him earlier in the night, he mentioned it to you, like he always did— invitations were always extended to you when he saw you or knew you were in town— but you hadn’t actually been to one of his parties in what felt like forever. It just had never truly been your thing.

Now that you knew Eddie was going, though, you actually wanted to say yes to the invitation for the first time in a long time. And right then you decided not to think about what exactly that meant.

Ultimately, you nodded. “Yeah, I was planning on going to it. At least, for a little bit.”

It almost felt funny how much things had shifted in the past ten minutes. You had been so ready to leave and head home for the night, and in a way you still were, but now you also wanted to do something different— something you hadn’t done in a while.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“You actually came for once,” Steve said in your ear when he pulled you in for a hug; it was the only way to be heard over the loud music. He squeezed you tight and you could practically hear the smile in his voice. “See, and this is why I always invite you to everything, because I knew you’d eventually say yes again.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s how probability works,” You told him with a laugh before pulling away and moving to the side a bit so that he could greet Gareth, Jeff, and Eddie.

Everything moved quickly after it was decided that you’d be going to the party too. You finally found Melissa because she had your phone and small purse that couldn’t hold anything more than just your wallet. She didn’t question you on the fact that you were going with Eddie and his band, but you could tell that she knew that you were going because of him; she had known you long enough to read you pretty well. You had a feeling that you’d get a phone call from her in the morning, asking all of the questions that she couldn’t right then.

The four of you left the party together and made the near-hour-long Uber ride to Steve’s huge home in Malibu. In your eyes, it was a classic celebrity house party— loud music, varying degrees of famous people, and the faint smell of weed. You were almost too easily reminded of the last time you’d gone to one of his parties; the abrupt offer of something much stronger than weed from a random guy and your immediate no, and you left after saying quick “Hi’s” and having brief conversations with a few people you knew.

This was not at all your scene and it never entirely had been; not even when you had been a teenager that was abruptly thrust into this world. You were scared of doing something to ruin everything that you’d worked so hard to have. Everything you did was judged, no matter what, so you always felt that there was no room for you to not be perfect.

This moment was different, though. You were pushing yourself out of your typical comfort zone, and right then you didn’t want to even inwardly admit why you were doing it.

“So, what are you like at this kind of thing?” You asked Eddie as you both watched Gareth and Jeff immediately join the hordes of people in the living room.

“Depends on the party,” He answered. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to ‘Hollywood parties,’ but the guys love dragging me to them.”

“All of these parties are basically the same; equal parts mundane and very ridiculous,” You shrugged, and then realizing he was like you when it came to parties made you think of something. “Is it okay if I show you something that’s away from all of this?”

Eddie nodded. “I’d love that, actually.”

Without thinking too much, you grabbed one of his hands and led him away from the living room.

You knew Steve’s house pretty much like the back of your hand; it was too nice not to. One of the first few times you’d been there— at a different party of his that you had forced yourself to go to before you realized that he wouldn’t feel offended if you said no— you walked around for an hour simply exploring all of the spots you hadn’t been to before.

There were a few guest rooms that had balconies with such nice views of the ocean in the distance and a game room that had a pool table in the center and some vintage arcade-type games tucked into the corner.

And then there was your favorite spot in the house; the theater room, where a few sets of couches faced a huge projector screen that at most times was playing random cartoons instead of movies.

When you found the remote hidden within a heap of blankets, you turned on the projector, which brought some light to the room. A random episode of Tom & Jerry started playing, and you decided to leave it going, but just turned down the volume a bit. You offered one of the blankets to Eddie, which he accepted, and then you grabbed another and wrapped it around your shoulders. You two made the silent decision to sit on the couch all the way in the back.

It was quiet for a moment and then Eddie was saying, “So, you and Steve dated, right?”

That question didn’t necessarily surprise you, but it still made you a little annoyed; more so at yourself than at Eddie.

This wouldn’t even be a question on anyone’s mind if you had done things a little differently five years ago when you and Steve did that infamous romcom. Pretty much everyone thought that you and him were dating during that time and rumors circulated because of that. And since they were never outwardly denied— a decision that Melissa and Steve’s publicist thought was the best— they continued to circulate until a year later when Steve actually did get a girlfriend.

You shook your head at his question. “No, we’ve always just been good friends.”

Eddie nodded understandingly and a silence lingered between you two for a moment, and then you felt the need to explain further.

“He was kinda my first friend in this ‘world,’ actually,” You continued. “Before the movie I did with him, I had just been in a bunch of small things that didn’t really matter. But, after that romcom came out, that was what kinda really pushed me into all of this. There were so many more eyes on me so suddenly, and it was really fucking weird at first. He grew up in all of this, so he knows ‘how it works,’ I guess, and aside from Melissa, he was the only person that checked in about how all of this fame shit was treating me.”

“That’s really nice,” Eddie said softly. “I couldn’t imagine going into all of this alone. I don’t think I’d be able to do any of this shit without Gareth and Jeff. Don’t tell them I said that, though.”

You laughed a little. “Your secret’s safe with me. You guys grew up together, right?”

“Yeah, this small town in Indiana,” He answered. “We met in middle school.”

“That’s really nice too. I wish I still had friends from that long ago,” You told him. At this point, it was even hard to remember the friends you had in middle school and high school before you moved to California in the middle of your Sophomore year with your parents. It honestly felt like an entirely different life you had lived.

“When did you move here?”

“When I was sixteen. It was kinda my birthday present actually. I had been begging and pleading to do this since I was thirteen, but my parents weren’t fully on board until I got a little older,” You answered, shifting slightly and adjusting your blanket. “It was kinda like how a kid begs for a puppy for Christmas.”

“Your puppy was Hollywood,” Eddie concluded, giving you a small smile.

“Exactly,” You nodded and then stopped abruptly. “That probably sounds stupid.”

He shook his head. “No, it doesn’t. You knew what you wanted. I think that’s pretty fucking cool.”

“A lot of people thought it was the opposite of cool,” You said, thinking about the things that the kids in your grade and old friends had said to you. “I was always so quiet and kinda shy, still am sometimes, so nobody understood why I wanted to get into acting.”

“Why did you?”

There was a long-winded explanation you could’ve given him, but it felt like too much for this moment.

“I could just see it,” You ultimately answered with a brief upturn of your shoulders. “Weirdly enough, the thought of acting never once scared me. It always just made sense.”

You wondered if you were being too vague, if you should’ve just told him about those times in the mirror where you would recite monologues from your favorite movies and then eventually ventured out to random ones that you found online.

You didn’t need to explain further, though, because Eddie nodded. “I get that. There was this moment when me and the guys performed at our eighth-grade talent show. It was terrible, I’m honestly glad there’s no video proof of it circling the internet right now. But still, after that night, I just knew that that was where I always wanted to be. Onstage. Performing. I felt it.”

“Exactly,” You said as you nodded at his words. “It’s a feeling. And I have no idea how to fully explain it because it feels so hard to put it all into actual words, but yeah, it’s a feeling.”

It felt so refreshing having this conversation with him. You couldn’t remember the last time you had talked so easily with someone you just met— you’d had conversations like this with Steve before, even though he couldn’t fully get it because he was quite literally born into this industry, and you’d even had this kind of conversation with Melissa, but she could never fully understand what you meant either.

Eddie was different, though, obviously so, and it didn’t even matter that you two were in different parts of this fast-paced industry— music on one side and acting on the other. It felt like two sides of the same coin; different, but somehow you two could so easily relate to one another. Any and all initial awkwardness you had felt when you first talked to him back at the after-party had so effortlessly faded away as you learned just how similar you two were.

“Okay, I have a stupid question,” Eddie said after a moment.

You had no idea what he was about to ask, but you couldn’t help but smile anyway. “I love those.”

“Feel free not to answer and tell me how much of an idiot I am for asking this,” He started and even in the semi-darkness you could see the redness starting to tint his cheeks, which only further intrigued you about what he was going to say. “Are, um, doing sex scenes weird?”

You couldn’t help but laugh at first; a soft one that surprised you as much as it made Eddie’s cheek turn an even deeper shade of red.

“Nevermind, nevermind.”

“No, no, it’s okay. Honestly, that’s not a stupid question,” You told him and then thought about how to answer it. “They definitely intimidated me at first. The first time I had to just kiss someone I thought I would immediately fall in love with them on the spot.” You remembered the first on-camera kiss you ever had to do. It was for a stupidly bad teen movie and kissing the guy felt awkward until it didn’t, and then it simply felt like what it was— acting. “But, it’s really not like that at all. Everything just feels so fake and staged and you do so many takes of that one thing from a bunch of different angles, usually, that it all really seems like nothing after a while. And it’s pretty much the same way with sex scenes.”

Eddie nodded. “Okay. That makes sense.”

“Sorry, am I ruining movies for you?” You asked, mainly joking with your words. Once you had learned the logistics behind everything, it did slightly make things feel less “magical” to you. It was hard to watch movies now and not think about how certain shots were set up and what specific angles meant.

“No, I’m loving this peek behind the curtain,” Eddie said, playfully smiling at you, and that made you want to tell him more.

“Okay, so it’s all just so mechanical. Like, choreography pretty much.” You shifted so that you were a lot closer to him. You let your blanket fall off your shoulders as you reached out to grab Eddie’s hand and place it on your waist. “So, they’d tell you to put your hand there and I’d put my hand on your cheek.” You moved to do exactly that. “But not too high because then the camera wouldn’t be able to catch your expression. And then I’d lean in, tilting my head in a slightly awkward position, and we’d kiss.” You didn’t move to do that, even though you were surprised by how much you found yourself suddenly wanting to. “It, um, feels so unnatural, but it looks great on camera. And then with a sex scene, it’s kind of the same thing, except more… movement, obviously. And more directions to make sure everything looks okay on camera too.”

Eddie nodded understandingly again as his hand on your waist mindlessly moved down and settled in a much more comfortable position on your hip. In turn, your hand dropped from his cheek to the curve where his neck met his shoulder, pressing softly into the collar of his white shirt. You didn’t realize it at first, but you were practically in his lap now, and surprisingly enough, it didn’t feel weird or awkward; it felt okay, comfortable even.

With your explanation over, it would’ve made sense for you and Eddie to pull away from each other, but something had silently shifted in the past minute. For some reason, it didn’t feel right to go back to sitting on your different parts of the couch, wrapped up in separate blankets, after being this close to one another.

The warmth radiating from the hand on your hip and the rest of his body felt a thousand times more comforting than the blanket had. You pushed yourself closer to Eddie, settling in his lap completely, straddling his waist, and smiling at the soft sound he let out as you did so. Both of his hands took hold of your hips and gave a light squeeze that made a warm feeling settle in the pit of your stomach.

A part of you could recognize that this entire moment, this entire night, didn’t make sense. But then, at the same time, it definitely did— all of this simply felt inevitable. Something equivalent to this moment had been building from the moment you mentioned him and his band in that stupid interview all those months ago and when he then returned the compliment weeks later in his own interview.

So what was there really to do aside from lean into the inevitable?

And you also didn’t want to think too much at all.

What you wanted to do was kiss him. Honestly, you found yourself wanting to be as close as you possibly could be to him in this huge but quiet room.

Instead, though, for the time being, you softly said, “I have a stupid question too.”

Your hands resting on his shoulders moved to the nape of his neck. The thought of his music was suddenly on your mind too and it was the one thought that you didn’t want to push away.

Eddie smiled a little. “Yeah?”

You nodded. “That one song you have.” You didn’t even have to say the name for him to know which one you were talking about. “Is it really about…”

You trailed off with your question and Eddie finished it for you. “Cumming?”

You gave him another quick nod. “Yeah.”

If he could ask you about sex scenes, then you could ask about something somewhat equivalent.

The speculations about what the song was about were there the second it came out, but like most musicians, Eddie never outwardly confirmed nor denied song theories to pretty much any of his songs.

“Oh, I don’t know,” He said, another teasing smile tugging at his lips. “Anyone can see it how they want to. Everything’s up for interpretation.”

You playfully rolled your eyes at him. “Thank you for that interview answer.”

Your gaze settled back on him and you got the sudden urge to run your fingers through his hair, his mop of curls that still looked so effortlessly perfect, so you did. His sigh in contentment was immediate as your fingers twisted in his curls, not at all tugging or pulling, although you were fairly certain he wouldn’t have minded that either.

“Can I please get a real answer now?” You asked softly and Eddie didn’t hesitate to nod.

“Yes, it’s about that. But, more specifically it’s about the girl. Making her come,” He told you as a hand pulled away from your hip and instead slipped beneath your dress, traveling upward along the outer part of your thigh.

“Oh, really?” You said, trying your hardest to feign innocence and nonchalance, even though his words made you want to explode and you could feel something stir deep inside your stomach. You slowly shifted in his lap, spreading your legs a little further and silently telling him where you really wanted his hand to be.

Eddie picked up on your not-so-subtle hint and his hand finished its journey up your thigh and settled at the waistband of your underwear. “Mhm.”

Silently, he slipped past the thin barrier and you sucked in a quick breath when his middle finger started teasing your already slick folds.

“Shit, you’re soaked,” He whispered, and all you could do was hum in response.

One of his fingers slipped inside of you and your eyes squeezed shut and then you couldn’t hold back your loud moan when he immediately added another.

“Eddie…” Was all you could manage to say in the quietest voice as your eyes slipped shut and you focused on the feeling of his fingers inside of you, somehow quickly finding and hitting the most perfect spots.

“God, you feel so good. You’re squeezing my fingers so tight,” He said, voice low as his thumb found your clit.

Your head tipped back as another soft moan fell from your lips and Eddie’s mouth immediately went to your now-exposed neck. He nipped and pecked at the soft skin, leaving marks that you were certain would be there later and would be a bitch to cover up, but in that moment you couldn’t find it in you to care in the slightest.

You couldn’t even find it in you to feel embarrassed about how quickly and easily he was able to bring you so close to coming on his fingers. Your heart hammered in your chest and your stomach twisted up in knots as he pushed you closer and closer to the edge.

Slowly, you grinded down against him so that you could meet every thrust of his fingers. You started practically riding his hand and the low sound Eddie let out as he watched you made a small smile tug at your lips.

“Fuck,” He groaned, his other hand squeezing your hip and slightly guiding you. “You’re so perfect.”

You let out the softest sound. “I'm so close.”

“Yeah, you’re doing so well for me, sweetheart. Come on. Come for me,” Eddie whispered, pulling away from your neck because he wanted to watch you come undone on his fingers.

And you did. With his thumb expertly circling your clit along with one particularly rough thrust of his fingers, hitting a spot that made you see stars, you were pushed over the edge. Your eyes screwed shut and you had to bite your lip to stop yourself from screaming.

Eddie continued fingering you through your orgasm, waiting until your soft moans faded out and your quick breathing became a little more steady before slowly pulling his fingers out. It was hard not to whimper at the loss of contact as your eyes opened again and you looked at him.

“Yeah, that’s exactly what the song’s about,” He said with a teasing smile on his face as he licked his fingers clean, which was quite literally the hottest thing you’d ever seen.

And it was then that you realized that you hadn’t even kissed him yet, and you further realized that you needed to change that immediately.

You leaned in and met his lips in the messiest kiss. Tongues clashed and when you tasted yourself on his mouth, you couldn’t bite back your moan.

Eddie’s hands went to your hips and then circled your back to pull you impossibly closer to him. You wished there were no layers separating the two of you; not your dress and not his suit, nothing.

“I need you,” You said the three words in between quick kisses.

“Here?” Eddie whispered against your lips, which made you remember exactly where you two were and pulled you out of the lust-driven haze you were in.

You parted from Eddie, leaning back a bit and meeting his eyes. “I’m friends with Steve, but I don’t know if our friendship is on that kind of level, so no definitely not here.”

He laughed a little at the playfulness in your tone. “We can go to my place. I’m only like thirty minutes from here.”

“That sounds perfect,” You smiled at him and then kissed him one more time before shifting off of his lap and then standing up to readjust your dress on slightly wobbly legs.

The party was still in full swing when you and Eddie emerged from the theater room and headed back into the living room, so no one took notice of you and him slipping out the front door.

Eddie’s hand found yours as you two waited for the car to come and he didn’t drop it once you two were settled in the backseat, sitting as close as you possibly could be.

The smallest part of you wondered when some sort of logical thinking was going to settle in. You never did things like this; it was rare that you simply even kissed someone that you just met, let alone did anything more. However, you realized that you couldn’t remember the last time you felt this comfortable and okay with someone new either, and that made you understand that this was the logical thing to do. Everything about this moment simply felt right.

“What are you thinking about?” Eddie whispered to you, mouth right at your ear.

“You,” You answered, voice matching his soft tone, and the smile he gave you in response was probably the sweetest thing you’d ever seen.

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