#because Deku is in a coma– never mind he just left with the skeletal giraffe that’s missing his kidney and an awareness of mortality
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Life according to Bakugo
Deku: *begins looking down on him*
Bakugo: doesn’t get freaking worse than this
Deku: *gets a quirk*
Bakugo: I stand fucking corrected
*other people Deku thinks are cool exist*
Bakugo:
.
.
.
I’m not even really exaggerating
#kacchan#bnha bakugo katsuki#bakugou katsuki#deku#everyday Bakugo goes to bed and says ‘if today is as bad as it than at least it’s over’#but each new day is somehow a brand new ‘as bad as it gets’ except for when he gets comfortable with it than life gives him a small win#then shanks him in the liver and steals his bf#and probably whatever spare change he had in his hero pants that day#it just feels like that’s the kinda luck he has#like so much shit is going wrong that he can’t even bring up the fact that he was a victim of petty crime#because Deku is in a coma– never mind he just left with the skeletal giraffe that’s missing his kidney and an awareness of mortality#apparently if you tell a fortune teller in a tie to go fuck themselves and then out live them you’re granted delusions of immortality#which I mean honestly fair if you think about it#or that they communal fridge was out of his favorite snack#and has been for over a week even though it’s been on the list there’s been at least 2 grocery runs since then#and if they’re not gonna but it anymore just fucken says so so that he can go get it#because if he goes and gets it now he just knows that when he returns someone else will have done it and there’ll be a surplus#it’ll go bad and he’ll have wasted his money and a lot of time getting permission and shopping#and why is it only ‘his squad’ that skips shit on the list? Glasses and Halfie never fucken messes this shit up#and their sheltered asses don’t even know what most of it is!#and ppl need to stop acting like it’s his responsibility to make Kiri and Kami bring the list he’s not their mom#Cheeks only ever gets the value brand of shit but no one blames Deku for having to drink Mr.Pib and stale spicy cheese corn puffs!#it’s not even her money just get the fucken hot cheetos and the goddamn soda with a degree!#*I fully hc that while learning anger management he swallows the big angers and flips out over ‘small stuff’ bc healing is messy like that*#it’s 3 am and softy’s rambling in the tags again lol
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