#beauty box korea

[meichenxi]

learning chinese like 

and then learning scottish gaelic like 

this word guga ‘young gannet’ is on lesson 3 of duolingo. if there is any better way to exemplify the difference between these languages than these two screenshots, I’ll wait

[hwangism143]

off-limits

synopsis: hwang hyunjin was multiple things to you: incredible. god-like. everything. but most of all, he was off-limits. that is, until, you both are forced to share a room at a beach getaway. sounds perfectly romantic, right? except for your fear of the ocean and his recent break-up.

pairing: non-idol!hyunjin x fem!reader

genre: best friends brother trope, one room trope, angst, fluff

warnings: mentions of alcohol, swearing, mentions of death, nightmares, graphic description of nearly drowning, eating and food, slightly suggestive, near death experience

please do not read if any of these topics are triggering

word count: 15.4k words

playlist: box in the ocean - alessia cara, swimming pools - francis on my mind, mixtape: time out - stray kids

a/n: guys. my baby is here. this was requested by the wonderful @scarlet789 also, shout out to my bae avi (@stayinlimbo) for letting me scream in her dms. as usual, pls leave your comments and reblog!! they mean everything to me <3

"all these explosive emotions, i'm holding"

Hwang Hyunjin was multiple things to you. Beautiful, heavenly and ethereal were just a few words to describe him. Off-limits, however, was probably the best and most encompassing in this situation. He was your best friend Hyun-jee's brother, and a long time ago, you chose friendship over love.

Hyun-jee and her brother came from an extremely well off family. Hyun-jee's mother was a famous model while her father was the owner of one of the most popular media channels in South Korea. Unlike the stereotypical rich kid, however, Hyun-jee genuinely did want to inherit her father's business someday, eagerly waiting to take over as CEO after his retirement. For now though, she was content with just being the CFO of their overseas subsidiary.

Hyunjin however, was a bit of an enigma when it came to company legacy. Rebellious couldn't be the right word considering his parents never really minded about what he would become (they did have the extremely ambitious to the point of it being slightly terrifying younger daughter). Hyunjin was destined for greatness though. The entire Hwang family was. To your astonishment, even the family dog had his own fanpage.

Hyunjin had cemented himself in the art industry, having gone to a special arts high school and studied painting in Paris for a few years. His artwork sold in the millions, and their relevance was extremely pertinent to everyday life. A part of you marveled about how you even came to become friends with such extraordinary people when you were just the opposite of that, bland and normal.

You first met Hyun-jee in boarding school, you with a scholarship and starry eyes and Hyun-jee with her father's massive paycheck and worldly wisdom that rivaled that of the oldest ahjumma's. It was an international one, meaning that the medium of speaking was almost entirely English. You could have taken Korean as well, of course, but you opted for French instead. That was when you met Hyun-jee, the dorm arrangements being set according to the second language chosen.

Hyun-jee shone as bright as a star but she never made that cover your light. If anything, she amplified it to an incredible degree. Being friends with her wasn't slavery (as popularized by fiction), but instead it was earth-shaking, revolutionary and the most brilliant thing to happen.

Ah, fourteen year old minds.

But really, Hyun-jee was a friend you would always cherish, having been extremely close to her even after graduation. Every first day of school, you two would curl up in the couch of your common room and start telling each other all about your wild summers.

You knew, of course, about Hyun-jee's brother, but she rarely brought him up. He was a slightly sensitive topic in your friendship and you knew why. All you knew was that he liked painting and was a year older than Hyun-jee.

To be completely honest, not only were you Hyun-jee's best friend, you were also probably her first and only close friend. People had a tendency to get close with Hyun-jee just to take advantage of her family. Nine out of ten times, that was girls who wanted to date Hyunjin.

Hyun-jee loved you for being completely unaware about who she was until after you met her. Not being a South Korean native, you had no idea who the Hwang family was. The only member you did personally know was Hwang Hyun-jee, future CEO. Except to you, she was nearly a sister. She was the girl who snorted milk out of her nose while laughing, owned practically a shrine dedicated to Michael B. Jordan and had the most awful bed head. You saw a Hyun-jee that she only showed to two people in this world: you and Hyunjin.

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All that ambiguity was about Hyunjin was about to change however, that junior year of high school. It was the first day of school and you were waiting for Hyun-jee to be dropped off near the school gates. This time though, it wasn't her old driver but someone a lot younger pulling up to the school front.

Hyun-jee opened the door and practically flew into your arms, causing a giggle to arise from your mouths and the both of you slightly stumbling backwards. Behind her, you heard a throat clear.

"Your bags, miss?" came an overly exaggerated tone of what you assumed was a male.

"Oh, piss off Hyunjin," snapped Hyun-jee, straightening her school uniform and letting go of you. She quickly introduced you both to each other. Hyunjin offered his hand and, your brain must have been on autopilot because your hand smoothly grabbed his without a hitch.

Your mind, however, was a mess.

Hyunjin was absolutely gorgeous. You could tell why so many women (and some men) pined over him. His then blonde hair fell into his eyes and he had a literal, a literal twinkle in his eyes. You probably just imagined it, but when your hand grabbed his, you felt a shock coursing through (although in hindsight it was probably just static electricity). He was attractive, yes, but you wouldn't really call it a crush, per se. It was more of a 'hey. you're good looking.' type of situation, not a 'i have envisioned our entire future together pls marry me.' kind of situation.

That was, until, Hyun-jee invited you (well, more forced by her parents to invite you) to spend the summer before senior year at her family's ski resort.

Hyunjin made you feel like you were glowing, like you were the only person in the room. If Hyun-jee amplified your brightness, Hyunjin captured it, understanding you in a way nobody else did.

While Hyun-jee was off skiing and being athletic, you and Hyunjin spent hours locked in the library. Sometimes, you sat in silence. Other times, you talked about everything under the sun, from classical literature and Jane Austen to cat videos and singing to Taylor Swift.

Being a huge bookworm yourself, you adored the concerningly large labyrinth which they called a  library housed in their lodge. Hyunjin would paint on a chair with him and his easel facing you as you would lounge on the sofa, poring over yet another thick, hard bound novel. Then, you would pass that book to Hyunjin, who would also read it, giving you both a topic of conversation.

You were never bitter towards Hyun-jee for leaving you behind with Hyunjin while she took classes and taught classes at the local ice rink and snow hill. She always was better left outside than cooped up inside, unlike you and Hyunjin who were ambiverted to a fault and short-circuited if outdoors for too long.

In fact, you were thankful for it. If Hyun-jee hadn't been gone long enough for you and Hyunjin to have some time together, you never would have experienced falling in love with him. If that is what it was.

Your relationship never blossomed into something more than soft smiles and knowing glances, even the occasional (and never accidental, at least on your part) brush of fingers being constrained and a rare occurrence. Even though you weren't sure if Hyunjin had such feelings towards you, you both knew that there was a line you couldn't cross.

Still, your brain romanticized all of it. Being in love with you best friend's brother, secluded moments in a library... it really was turning into an 'i have found a wedding dress. get a ring. we are already mentally married.' cacophony of feelings. Paired with the snowy backdrop of the mountains and Hyunjin more often than not offering you his hoodie, you were, to put it mildly, in heaven.

"Hey, do you want to make hot chocolate or bake something? I'm not really getting inspiration to paint and..." Hyunjin just waved his arm around, trailing off and looking at you with hopeful eyes.

The lodge had a personal chef who could whip something up at just a sentence. He knew that. You knew that. You grinned at him, "Okay. Let's do it."

The two of you worked your way up to the private kitchen (the shock you felt and finding out they had two kitchens was so comical that Hyun-jee even recorded it). Baking with Hyunjin was terrifying. By the end of it, you had flour all over you, Hyunjin having icing on his cheek. The end result was delicious but very off-putting looking cupcakes.

While Hyunjin busied himself with cleaning, you swiped your thumb across the icing that had laid base on his face (conveniently missing the tissues practically staring at you).

Hyunjin turned his head to look at you in surprise, eyebrows scrunched and cheeks puffed. "I'm sorry," you stammered, "There was icing and-"

"No," he laughed, "It's not that. Your hands are really cold. I thought I was doing a good job of keeping you warm."

A small pout formed on his face as he motioned to take your hands. You obliged and he rubbed them for a bit, humming along to some pop song that was trending. As he was doing so, you nearly bore a hole into the floor with tour eyes, trying (and hopefully succeeding) in hiding the massive blush threatening to creep onto your face.

That night, Hyun-jee asked you nonchalantly, "Is something going on between you and my brother?"

While the question might have seemed like an innocent one, you knew the venom and pain behind it. Your thoughts were only confirmed by her usage of the terminology 'my brother', instead of just his name.

You were laying down on her bed, bile rising in your throat. Love or friendship? The thoughts in your head collided, crashing into each other like a tsunami. Hyun-jee had been there for you your entire time in Korea, caring for you like you were her own blood. Hyunjin had only known you for a few weeks but made you feel like the only girl in the world.

Your conflicting feelings towards both your situations gnawed and twisted at you like a thorn bush, scratchy weeds clawing at you and desperately awaiting respite. All it would take to get rid of that awful feeling would be one sentence of confirmation or otherwise.

Hyun-jee made eye contact with you through the mirror as she brushed her hair. "Well?" she prompted, slightly impatiently.

You rolled over onto your stomach, eyes locked onto hers. "Hm? Sorry I couldn't hear you. Nope, we're just friends, if you can even call it that." You shrugged at her and she shot you a grateful smile, eyes full of relief. Your stomach, on the other hand, was tangled up in knots that felt painfully similar to the knots that had wound their way into your heart.

Hyunjin didn't see you in the library again.

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The irony of your situation, looking back was, well... ironic. Of the three months that you spent with the Hwang family, half of it went in trying to spend as much time with Hyunjin as possible and the other half went in avoiding him at all costs.

You were never a hopeless romantic, not really. You knew what love practically looked like, and that it wasn't perfect. If it was, then the phrase wouldn't be something as harsh as falling in love, would it? However, one thing that you constantly chided yourself about was the importance of first love.

You placed first love on a pedestal higher than anything else. You were extremely meticulous about it though. You were frighteningly determined to experience the most perfect first love one ever could, tailored to your desires. Falling in love with Hyunjin, however, was not part of the plan.

Falling in love with Hyunjin was like breathing. It came so naturally, as if it was always there but couldn't be shaken off as soon as you noticed it. It felt inevitable, it felt like life was giving you another reason to live in the form of a soft-spoken artistic boy who had a penchant for dyeing his hair.

It was so extremely easy too. How could it not be? The way his eyes crinkled in the sides when he smiled and high pitched laugh were sensations that you would pay anything to relive. The way his eyes never left you when you passionately (and sometimes violently) gesticulated about your favorite books, the way he somehow understood what you were communicating his way even without you verbalizing it, made you realize that no one had ever quite made you feel this way.

'This way', being, feeling excited at just the mere thought at knowing that you were inhaling the same air as them. Small firecrackers igniting in your stomach at just the thought of seeing them. Feeling like you would simultaneously combust and drown if you couldn't be with them.

You often lied to yourself though. No, it wasn't love. Just a passing crush, was your mantra, repeated over and over again in your head until you almost believed it. Almost. A passing crush wouldn't entail not being able to concentrate on anything apart from Hyunjin when he was in front of you. A passing crush wouldn't cause you to look at him when he thought you weren't, in an attempt to memorize his features, capture every moment and seal it in an imaginary locket.

The reason why you made yourself think these thoughts were because you were unraveling. The realization that your first love did not love you back, not even a little bit (or so you thought) crashed down all your ideals about romance. The you that existed back then was positive that you would never, ever, love again. If the person you had first fallen in love with couldn't fall in love with you, then how could anyone else?

Of course, compared to your life now, such issues felt trivial. Right? Then why did you still have such a hard time forming romantic attachments? Why was your self-esteem when it came to be loved was in the gallows, rotting in the negatives?

It wasn't Hyunjin's fault, it never was in your head. It was the causation and effect of your own fucked up idolization of falling in love for the first time. You had so profoundly accepted the notion of first love being unforgettable that you only assumed it to be positive, not even thinking about how you would grapple with the situation if it were negative.

Maybe if you did, you would learn and grow from every failed romance that you would have, all up until you found 'the one', even if it was just for that moment. But you didn't. Instead, you had grown such a clawing and deafening fear of rejection that you refused to fall in love at all.

Somedays, the loneliness would get to you. The day Hyun-jee announced to you that she officially had a girlfriend, you were happy, immensely so, but a part of you just... broke. Going to parties and dinners and even just staying in with your friends meant that you had to witness all the small things about love that you would never experience.

Your friends and their significant others were never obvious around you. They weren't constantly touching each other and making comments about their undying love for each other. But even those tiny actions, the little aspects, didn't go unnoticed by you.

The small smile of affection on one's face at anything the other did, an entire conversation passing through just a glance, the featherweight touches that probably had a heavier meaning that you would ever know - all of this was just something you could vicariously experience through the people in love all around you.

Maybe, if you weren't such a coward, you would be in love right now too, instead of wallowing in despair and the trenches of missing out.

On the last day of your stay at the Hwang lodge, you went to the library to see Hyunjin one last time. For seeking some sort of closure? Probably. For seeing Hyunjin one last time and committing his features and mannerisms, anything and everything that made up him to memory? Definitely.

You had pushed the doors open softly, letting out a shaky breath and attempting to still your restless legs. Hyunjin was hard at work behind a large canvas, propped up on a wooden easel. His arm furiously brushed against the canvas, angry strokes slapping against the medium of artwork.

He didn't notice you, continuing his work, until you cleared your throat. "Hi," you said uncertainly. Hyunjin looked at you in perplexation, like a deer caught in headlights. Quickly turning around his easel and regaining his composure, he motioned for you to take a seat on the couch.

You took him in, the light streaming in from the large window bathing him in cold sunlight that glinted off the snow. He looked like he wasn't human. It hit you, the absurdity of it all. If there was one word you would use to describe Hwang Hyunjin, it would be human.

He captured humanity within him in the sweetest form possible. He wasn't the blueprint, not by any means; he could be petty, overly dramatic and had a bit of a temper. But he was kind-hearted, constantly curious and overwhelmingly empathetic. He was so perfectly imperfect that it was incredible to you how someone like him could be a product of society as cruel as this.

"I leave in a few weeks," he said almost ponderingly, breaking a silence that hung between the two of you that was, for the first time, uncomfortable.

"If you want, I can get you something," he enunciated. You knew there were several unsaid words on his end; there were some on yours as well. But you had almost no indication about what they could possibly be, and were itching to know what they were.

"We can't- we can't be friends," you blurted out.

Hyunjin's expression was one of expectation. So he knew this was coming. He sat down next to you and let out a resounding sigh.

"I know. I'll send you something from Paris anyways," he lightly responded, attempting to liven up the mood. You just raised a shoulder and the two of you sat there for what felt like hours. Finally, you got up and made your way to the door. But before that, you stopped.

"Do you mind if I see what you were painting?"

Hesitantly, Hyunjin turned the easel around. You were met with absolutely nothing, just splashes of water all over the canvas.

"Artist's block," he said matter-of-factly.

You nodded as if you understood, even though you didn't and walked out the door with a, "Thank you. I'm sorry."

Head hung in shame, you took a step outside. You were about to step out when a voice called out to you, "It was nice, to pretend. Even if it was just for a while."

You turned to give him a wry smile, "Thank you for making summer fun for me."

He would understand what you told him. You knew he would. But that didn't mean it wouldn't hurt. That was the last time you had ever physically seen Hwang Hyunjin, ever spoken to him.

He never sent you anything from Paris.

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While you wished that your relationship with Hyunjin would be one for the romcoms, your relationship with Hyun-jee was definitely one for the situational comedies. The rich girl becoming best friends with the new scholarship student? Cable TV viewer gold.

If you were being completely honest, the first time you met Hyun-jee you did find her a little bit stuck up. The two of you had to end up being friends though. Studying the same language, French, meant that she was your roommate for the four years you would spend at that high school (unbeknown to you then, she would spend another five years as your roommate in university).

Seeing Hyun-jee walk into the dorm room, decked in designer clothes and lugging a large suitcase behind her, was enough to demolish your self-confidence. The sight made you feel extremely self-conscious about your jeans, which were sporting gravy stains, and the mud brown sweater vest which your mother simply insisted you must buy.

All your fear disappeared, however, when one of Hyun-jee's heels (Dior!) caught on the edge of the living room carpet. She collapsed onto it, placing her palms face down to avoid hitting her face. She looked up at you.

"Hi, I'm Hyun-jee. I would shake your hand, but this is the unfortunate circumstance of letting my mother style me for the first day of school."

You laughed and offered her your hand and she held onto it, steadying to her feet. You gave her your name and a once-over to make sure she wasn't hurt. Then when you finally looked into her eyes, the two of you burst into laughter over the farcical situation that had just taken place. You both were wheezing by the end of your solid ten minute fit of laughter, laying on the couch in contorted positions and trying to catch your breath. Her eye caught yours, just setting of another bout of giggles.

You two had been inseparable ever since.

Hyun-jee wasn't as perfect as she was made out to be, and she had no shame in it. If she had the choice, she would go everywhere in her pajamas. She was horrible at Math and made fun of the World History teacher you both shared, convinced he was a Freemason. Hyun-jee was as human as one could get.

Even her parents were quite natural around you, or at least the cookies her mother sent everywhere which she and Hyun-jee baked made it seem that way. Hyun-jee was always sensitive when it came to the topic of her family. She skirted around it when it was a topic of conversation as if it was poison.

It wasn't that she had a bad relationship with them; she adored her family. She just seemed extremely uncomfortable about the topic, so you never really pried, instead regaling her with stories about your two younger sisters, parents and lineage of goldfish with abnormally high mortality rates.

There was moment in your life when you understood the gravity of just how alone people like Hyun-jee was in this world. You had noticed, that despite being extremely well-known and friendly with everyone, Hyun-jee could only call you her friend. On the other hand, you weren't at all as well known as Hyun-jee but had multiple friends.

That moment was at this end of the year party your academy was hosting to celebrate the end of exams. The upperclassmen were planning to go to another location, without teachers for an afterparty, but you had convinced Hyun-jee against attending it. She always had been the risk taker in your friendship.

You were walking around, checking off your social pleasantries. Light shone in the big auditorium and you swished around your floral flock. You caught Hyun-jee rejecting yet another poor guy (too bad he didn't know she was gay), and laughed a little to yourself. Even at fourteen, Hyun-jee had model-like looks. Probably because she inherited them.

You were lost in the moment of it all, entranced by the fact that you were even standing here. Coming to this prestigious international academy was your dream. It would kickstart your scientific career, which, back then, only revolved around discovering something incredible and winning a Nobel Peace Prize.

You came from an extremely mundane family. Middle class, living in a different country in a three bedroom apartment. Both of your parents worked in software engineering, and while you loved them for it, you couldn't help but find it slightly boring. You wanted to do something great, be someone great.

Hyun-jee must have walked over to you at some point in time when you hadn't noticed, because she laced her arms through the crook of your elbow and asked, "What's got you so concentrated, wife?"

Hyun-jee had a habit of jokingly calling you her wife, which you always entertained because why not? She had made it extremely clear that she would never date you, despite being romantically interested in women. "Eh, too nerdy," was her response when you asked why. She wasn't wrong though; if it wasn't for your 'nerdiness', you wouldn't be where you were.

You just shrugged in response to her question and turned to give her a smile. The expression you were met with gave you a bit of a surprise. For once in her life, Hwang Hyun-jee looked serious about something. Her normally mischievous eyes were now set in an unreadable expression.

"What is it?" you asked as the two of you headed to the buffet. Hyun-jee grabbed two plates, one for you and one for her, and proceeded to put a little bit of everything in her plate onto yours, despite you already having taken a lot.

She didn't give you a reply, instead opting to walk towards the table where you two had laid claim. You towed behind obediently, sitting down with a satisfied 'ah!' after having been standing for over an hour. You were digging into your food, relishing the taste of school food that was good for once (okay, that was a lie; your school actually gave you good food but that was only justified considering the insane costs).

"I was trying to figure out a way to say this but..." Hyun-jee's voice faltered.

Your glanced at her, finally looking up from your plate after eating like a starved, ravenous beast. Your eyes slightly widened. Did she not want to be friends with you anymore?

Hyun-jee took a visibly deep breath, "I just wanted to say thank you."

"Thank you for being my friend. I have never really had anyone to call my own. If anybody ever got close to me, it was just to take advantage of me or use me to gain access to my family. Especially when it comes to my brother that I mentioned, remember? Hyunjin. Guys aren't friends with me because they're intimidated by him and girls only become friends with me because they want to date him. All my life I have felt like nothing more than a porcelain doll, only valuable because I held the title of being a Hwang daughter. I was labelled before I was even born, I have had to wear that label, written all over myself with fake pride, even though it sickens me. That was until I met you though. As Disney cliché as it sounds, you not knowing anything about my family and treating me like a normal person has really made me feel seen this past couple of months. Thank you, Y/N, for being my friend. A real one."

Tears began streaming down your face and streaming down her face. Paired with the emotional word vomit that Hyun-jee had just placed before you and both of you being on your menstrual cycles, this was kind of bound to happen.

You reached over to give her hand a squeeze. You were unable to say anything, partly because you were choked up with emotion and mostly because you had stuffed an entire slice of chocolate cake into your mouth while Hyun-jee was in the middle of her monologue.

That was the day that you made sure to make Hyun-jee never feel used, and that started with keeping her family at a seven-foot man's arm's length.

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seven months before.

Needless to say, your friendship with Hyun-jee wasn't always perfect. One topic that often came up during arguments was stepping out of the house. Hyun-jee was naturally more extroverted whereas you preferred the comfort of your home.

You both came up with a plan to alternatively go out and stay in while you both were roommates in college and this practice continued well after Hyun-jee had graduated.

Hyun-jee had dragged you to this upper class, high profile party as her plus one. Her girlfriend was at her parents' home and Hyun-jee simply 'could not go alone or would combust'. Regret at deciding to attend university in Korea was palpable in you (but no where else would you get delicious kimchi).

Beads of sweat clung to your forehead as you surveyed your surroundings. The party was filled with almost-drunk socialites, foreshadowing business deals and gossiping with each other. You rarely attended such events with Hyun-jee; this was her circle, not yours. You always overthought every little interaction that you had with one of them, turning it over in your head millions of times.

Even at such an event taking place at a simple rooftop resto-bar, you spotted the occasional man wearing an entire three piece set and woman rocking an evening gown. You had confirmed with Hyun-jee about what the dress code was multiple times leading up to the event, not ready to lose face in front of such prestigious people. She kept reassuring you that it was 'casual'. Clearly, the upper class' definition of casual and yours were worlds apart.

You were wearing a black, tight crop top, white skirt and white jacket that was currently below your shoulders and in caught in the crook of your elbows. You had already fended off quite a few men approaching you with a look in their eyes which made you quite uncomfortable. Having excused yourself uncountable times using numerous excuses (you had to put use to the skills that you had picked up on as an ambivert), you decided to step out onto the open area to catch some fresh air.

You glanced at the cup in your hand, not knowing where it came from. It definitely looked alcohol though, and you sent a small glare towards the cup while you set it on the first surface that you could fine. You drank sometimes, but today you opted against it. You were going to be driving yourself home and knew that Hyun-jee was going to be wasted, having lost her a few minutes after entering the premises. 

You knew that Hyunjin was there too, and were uneasy at the prospect of seeing him again. After the ski lodge, you never really met him again. He had taken you phone number once while he dropped of you and Hyun-jee snowboarding while you were there at their lodge. You both rarely texted, never going beyond the cordial 'happy birthday's' and exchanging wishes during various holidays. He never questioned why you stopped coming to the library, just giving you an understanding nod when you linked arms with Hyun-jee and looked at him with guilt evident in you eyes.

Deciding to ditch whatever the hell this glorified adult frat party, you made your way to the front door when you caught sight of Hyunjin. He sat near the door, scrolling on his phone. He seemed as uninterested to be here as you were. His hair was black now, slightly wavy at the end. You knew that; of course you knew. You followed him on social media and witnessed his hair evolution, praying for his scalp while you did so.

"Hi Hyunjin," you said hesitantly. Hyunjin glanced at you, surprise evident in his face while his eyes scanned yours, "I was just about to head out. I thought I'd stop by and say hello."

"Oh, you're leaving?" he questioned in a tone of confusion laced with something else. Recognition, maybe. "Call me when you get home, so I know you're safe."

He must have noticed you expression of apprehension, because he quickly added, "So I can let Hyun-jee know when we drive home of course. I think she mentioned that we're driving to our parents house tonight."

You aren't shocked by his request, knowing how protective (and worried to death) he can be, but were taken aback at the fact that he did not want nothing to do with you. "I actually wasn't planning on going home," you told him.

At that, it was Hyunjin's turn to wear an expression of surprise. You drank in his features as you noticed the gears twisting in his head. He was thinking hard about something. Deciding that this was his way of dismissing you, you headed towards the door that led to the stairwell that would take you downstairs. Abruptly appearing beside you was Hyunjin, giving you a small tap on your shoulder.

He offered you a small smile. "Mind if I join you?"

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Hyunjin was probably at that party because of his presence in the art world. Something about his art always spoke to you, in ways the no other piece of media ever did. You always proudly reminisced about how Hyunjin showed you artwork that summer that he hadn't ever shown anyone else.

His artwork was capable of moving someone without words. You could nearly feel the emotion pouring out of him and onto his canvas. It was like his paintbrush was just an extension of himself. Everything, from the colours he used to the angle of his brushstrokes were calculated measures, all joining in the most radiant harmony of pure artwork.

After a small discussion of where to go, you both decided that it would be best to catch some fresh air and then proceed to go your separate ways. You both walked a little ways down to an old park.

You were still processing the entire situation, marveling at how on earth you managed to keep your cool the entire walk here. You both didn't say a word while on your way to the park, walking in silence. Hyunjin had his hands jammed into his pockets while you played with the strings of your jacket, curling them in and out.

That was when Hyunjin spotted a playset, smack dab in the middle of the aforementioned park.

"Come on," he squealed excitedly, "Let's go on the swing set."

You couldn't help but let out a burst of laughter. No 'hi' or 'how is life', but suggesting swing set antics instead? Gosh, he was so endearing. You both didn't really talk much, just exchanged giggles as you swung as high up as possible. Finally, after around ten minutes of swinging and one rendition of 'I Believe I Can Fly,' you both finally came down.

A part of you still loved him, didn't it?

It was dark, but you didn't really care. You were with Hyunjin and the area was known to be one of the safer, more-family centric parts of the city you lived in. You sat on the grass, knees brought up to your chest. Your arms wrapped around them while you closed your eyes, a small breeze whipping around you. It was strong enough to keep you cool yet gentle enough to not cause your hair to be similar in nature to that of a tornado.

Hyunjin observed you silently, leaning back on the grass with the help of his forearms. His legs were sprawled in front of him and he broke the silence with a casual, "How's life?"

You suppressed the urge to burst out into laughter. Imagine being asked by one of the hottest men you had ever seen, and had objectively been in love with for the longest, ask you 'how's life'. Adding to that, he was asking you the said question after suggesting that you both swing on a swing set.

"Fine, I guess. I'll be submitting my thesis, hopefully by the end of summer and then receive my doctorate," you replied, ignoring the rapid thumping in your chest.

You were not going to be held captive by a high school crush. You were so much better than that. You hadn't physically seen Hyunjin is over five years. He could have changed completely for all you knew. He could have had a girlfriend (which Hyun-jee would have told you about if that was the case, but you never know), maybe even a wife. And yet, that familiar feeling of wanting curled through your bones, engulfing you.

The two of you started talking about your lives, him as a painter and you as a final year PhD student.

"Hmm," he hummed in contemplation to something you had said, "You know, I always liked your company more then Hyun-jee's. Don't tell her though." He had mischievous look in his eyes and a smirk on his lips, eliciting a laugh from within you and bringing back a memory you had forgotten.

You were still slightly awed by the fact that the Hwang Hyun-jee invited you to spend summer with her. At a ski lodge. A fricking ski lodge! The shocking revelation that you could be considered cool enough to hang out with her and her brother were the thoughts in your head as you stared at the copy of Emma in your hands, pretending to read the text.

Beside you, you could hear the steady scratching of pencil against paper, interrupted only by the symphony of an eraser rubbing against the sheet. This little orchestra playing next to you was evidence of Hyunjin's existence, an art in itself if anyone asked you.

"You should teach me French," he asks you out of the blue, "For when if leave to go to Paris."

You look at him inquisitively. He told you that he got accepted into art school in Paris a few days ago. You did feel sad about the fact that he was going, but deep down you knew very well that practically, after this summer your interactions with Hyunjin would be few and far in between.

"You have Hyun-jee, she can teach you. If, that is, you can put up with her," you retort teasingly.

Hyunjin gives you a sly smirk, "That's exactly why I was asking you. I think I'll like your style of teaching better. And so, I want you to please, please, please teach me French."

You had no idea where this sudden newfound confidence to flirt with Hyunjin had bloomed within you but, oh well, you only live once. "Do you want me teaching you, or just me in general?"

"Ah," he said shaking his head regretfully with a smile, "Even though you have only known me for a few weeks, you already know me too well."

Butterflies ignite in your stomach, although you're pretty sure he was just playing along with you. You wonder what he's sketching, his bottom lip caught between his teeth and his eyes set in concentration. Even though you have a feeling it isn't, you sincerely hope it's you.

You don't know that your hopeful assumption was true.

A tightening in you chest starts to grow when the topic shifts to love. Earlier, talking to Hyunjin about love used to come as easy walking on your two feet. Now, it just hurts. He asked you if you were seeing someone. You promptly replied in the negative. You asked him if he was seeing someone. He reflected your answer back onto you.

But what did it really mean? You were always going to be bound in this life by that unspoken oath you made to Hyun-jee all those years ago. It wasn't even about love anymore, it was about not breaking another person's trust, a person who you held closer to your heart than most of your family.

You started thinking though. What was the point of hiding your feelings, old or not, from Hyunjin any longer? It wasn't like you could act on it, but you may as well have told him. Maybe then a huge weight from your chest would be released and you wouldn't be shackled by commitments, things you felt you owed to both of them.

"I don't think you know this but," your expression suddenly changed, "I used to have the biggest crush on you that summer."

"Used to?" At this point, Hyunjin is sitting up straight, eyeing you curiously. You roll your eyes and give him a playful slap on his arm. His expression, however, turns into one of regret. You begin to feel remorseful about telling him, paranoia settling in and molding itself into the fabric of who you were.

"That's a shame," he says quietly.

The air changes, charged with something you can't quite place. Hyunjin holds eye contact with you, unsaid words coursing through them. You never really believed in the phrase 'the eye is the window to the soul', but right now, you were terrified of whatever the hell your eyes were revealing to him right now. Hyunjin then proceeds to utter something, something so capable of infusing you with poisoned hope, that it takes your breath away.

"I think I would have loved loving you."

Time has stopped. Feelings of desperation, annihilation and most importantly, temptation, cascade in a whirlpool inside you. It had been years. This was wrong. This was the universe dangling temptation in front of you, urging you to just take a bite. Rebelliously, you wondered, what if you were selfish for one? Why were you feeling this way now?

"I think I would have loved being loved by you," you whisper back. Hyunjin's hand laces through yours and gives it a little squeeze in response.

That is when it dawns on you that Hyunjin is as confined in this matter as you, if not more. Hyun-jee is his sister for God's sake; whatever guilt you felt in wanting him, he must have felt tenfold in wanting you. You know exactly what the little squeeze he gave you signifies: It will pass. If it cannot be, it will cease.

And you know it's true because you and Hyunjin can never be 'us' or 'we' as long as you were present in this reality. You wished there was a universe somewhere, a parallel reality when Hyunjin and you were considered of one breath because to breath you would need him like oxygen.

Judging by his expression, he must have been drifting in thought about that too.

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Hyunjin was a hopeless romantic. Everyone he knew was painfully aware of that. He romanticized love in all it's aspects and yearned for it like a prerequisite for living. His standards were obnoxiously high though, and he had never met anyone even close to reaching them.

The thing was, Hyunjin didn't have high standards when it came to a romantic partner. He had high standards in what to expect during a relationship with said partner. Having never been in love himself, he could only witness it through other's experiences.

Until he had met you.

The first time he had seen you, you seemed unremarkable. Not in a rude way, of course, it was just that nothing about you really stood out to him that way. Hyunjin was a firm advocate of 'love at first sight' not being a logical concept. How on earth could you love someone without intertwining the fibers of being that made you with the strands of life that made them?

But then, when you walked into their hauntingly large ski lodge, your face full of wonder, Hyunjin felt an overwhelming calling of entrapping that moment forever. Your expression was so pure that is caught him off guard. He forgot what it was like to see some genuinely enjoy something. That night, he was sitting on his bed sketching something without any clear intention. The end result bore an uncanny resemblance to you.

Soon enough, the two of you began to spend exponentially increasing amounts of time together. Hyunjin was quite introverted, which was in stark contrast to the rest of his family. His mother used to also like spending her time in a lot, but nearly twenty five years of marriage to his father had definitely worn off on her.

The first time you stumbled into the library, you had audibly gasped. Hyunjin peered up, only his eyes visible, the rest of his face covered by the easel. When he saw that it was you, a small smile broke across his face and he sent you a wave, striking up a conversation with you and inviting you to sit down with him.

Hyunjin even knew exactly when realized that he had fallen in love with you. It was around a month into your three month stay with them. You were on the couch, laying down on your belly and Hyunjin was on a bean bag, munching on popcorn. You had a blanket covering you and a book in your hand, but your eyes stayed on Hyunjin as you both talked.

"I have a question," asked Hyunjin in between his mouthful of popcorn.

You rolled over into a position of sitting, legs crossed underneath you. "Before you ask, my interpretation of the meaning of life is pining for Michael B. Jordan against all odds. Blame Hyun-jee for forcing his movies down my throat and coming to me about her daily rants about how he is the only exception to her sexuality and how she would elope with him in a heartbeat."

Hyunjin shook his head with a laugh and passed you the bowl of popcorn. Having been on the receiving end of the conversation one too many times himself, he could quote Michael B. Jordan's monologue from Black Panther nearly perfectly.

"What I actually wanted to ask was whether or not you're happy with what you plan on studying in the future," Hyunjin asked curiously. You always avoided the topic of this, reiterating your love for Science time and again but always talking about how you planned on taking an English course on the side while in university.

At his question, your face fell a little bit. "Oh, well," you said sadly, "Truthfully, not really. But it's what my parents want me to do. I figured that if I did what they wanted me to do, then my sisters could be given a little more freedom at what they wanted to do."

Hyunjin's lips slightly parted, turning over your words in his head. Your selflessness really hit home, especially when he was so extremely selfish. He suddenly felt like he didn't belong to even be in your presence, and yet cherished it nonetheless.

"I have always been so adamant about becoming an artist that I never thought that it could lead to Hyun-jee potentially thinking that she doesn't have an option other than taking over the company," fell Hyunjin's confession from his lips. His eyes swirled with shame.

"If I'm being honest, she might have felt that way initially, but she truly loves the business Hyunjin," you told him comfortingly.

"You're a good person," he whispered to you softly.

"I'm not," you laughed condescendingly, "I'm really not."

Hyunjin's heart broke when those words flew out of your mouth. He wished he saw yourself at the standard that he did. But his heart pieced back together when he realized that he loved you. The realization dawned upon him when it hit him that your laugh, in no matter which context, seemed to lull him like a siren's call and draw him towards.

Later that day, Hyunjin called up seven of his closest friends to lament about his unfortunate predicament. He had all the textbook symptoms: gazing at you when you didn't notice, making up excuses just to be close to you and turning a fire hydrant reminiscent shade or red whenever he was near you (to the point where you would often end enquiring about his health).

"You are down bad in love," declared Changbin over the phone. Hyunjin decided against telling him that he had self-diagnosed himself before seeking anyone else's consul.

Hyunjin wasn't blind either though. He knew you felt something towards and although he couldn't quite pinpoint whether is bordered on love or like, he was quite content with simply knowing. It was extremely evident to him, in the way you began stuttering when he started flirting with you and the blush that would creep up your neck (albeit less pathetically obvious as his) when his fingers would accidentally or otherwise brush against yours.

He knew though, that blushes and wandering eyes was all your relationship ever could be.

He loved you, but by extension he loved his sister more. The night she came home to him, eyes puffy from crying and making him swear that he would never date one of her friends in the occasion that she ever did make a real one.

In that moment, Hyunjin made an oath encased in salty tears and bruised emotions that would haunt him for the rest of his life.

When you stopped coming to the library to squander away your time with Hyunjin, he knew he should have expected it. If you hadn't initiated the distance, then he would have been the one to do so, knowing it to be imperative when Hyun-jee questioned him on the nature of the both of yours's relationship.

He couldn't create anything, however. It was like your presence was what gave him the patience and creativity to actually go through with fishing a piece of art. He was frightened to death at the prospect of never being able to make something again if you weren't there.

Slowly, he realized that that wasn't actually the case. He could still paint, still draw, because he found love and emotions in so many other places.

Hyunjin found love in the way dewdrops beaded flowers, he found love in the cobblestoned alleyways of Paris and in the steaming mug of Americano he would drink every morning. He came to understand that he could pull inspiration from any love, romantic or otherwise.

But all of them paled in comparison to the love he held for you.

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five months before.

You were lounging in Hyun-jee and her girlfriend, Reina's apartment, which was practically your second home. The three of you went to the same university, one of the most prestigious in Seoul, and were quite a formidable trio. Hyun-jee was studying in business school, you were studying bio-chemistry and Reina was a lawyer in the making.

People had a tendency to stay away from the three of you.

You were sitting cross-legged on the floor of their apartment, back resting against the leather couch. Reina was in the shower and Hyun-jee scrolled on her phone. You gazed at the blank wall, completely zoning out from reality.

"Oh," Hyun-jee said with a small smirk, "Hyunjin is coming over."

You tried to hide your surprise and anticipation. Excitement brewed a sickly solution within you as Hyun-jee caught your eye and sent a wink your way, signaling that she would be teasing her brother mercilessly upon his arrival.

Her grin faltered, however, when she her eyes went to her screen which lit up with yet another text message, presumably from Hyunjin.

"Oh. He's bringing a girl."

At that, you jerked your head up to Hyun-jee's, leaving your task of picking at your nails behind. She just gave you a shrug, indicating that she had no idea about any of this either. You studied Hyun-jee's reaction to this carefully. If anything she seemed unfazed.

Jealousy and anger pooled within you. You wished that it was you who Hyunjin was bringing, which was absolutely absurd because you were already in Hyun-jee's apartment. The girl he was bringing would probably be beautiful. At least, far more than you.

In the events that followed leading up to Hyunjin's arrival, you were halfway here and halfway not. Reina had come out of the shower, Hyun-jee had ordered some food, Reina had put on a movie, Hyun-jee had given her a kiss; everything happened around you presently, but you yourself weren't present.

Oh. He's bringing a girl.

You resorted to biting your lip anxiously, drawing blood even. Ah well. Small problems compared to the things people have to face all over the world on the daily. But it should have been duly noted that your small problems felt gigantic to you.

Sighing and attempting to kill time, you decided to be extremely unproductive and watch a romcom. They really did help make up for the lack of romance in your life (as if). Eventually, however, you got bored and instead switched your screen to watch a zombie movie.

You were sitting on one of the three barstools that lined the marble island countertop. Your hands were propped up on your elbows and you had managed to precariously balance your phone against a jar of strawberry jam.

You heard the doorbell ring amidst the screams coming from your earphones. Quickly stuffing away your phone in your pocket in the name of courtesy, you cupped your chin with your hand.

Reina went to open the door and in waltzed Hyunjin in all his glory followed by, yep, only the most drop dead gorgeous woman you had ever seen.

He quickly made introductions, introducing her as Ellie. You avoided Hyunjin's eyes like the plague as you offered her a smile that you hoped looked genuine because it most certainly was not.

Ellie was extremely sweet. She even brought cookies. Ellie laughed and smiled and made herself feel comfortable. You laughed and smiled and contemplated what life would be like in jail if you committed murder.

You couldn't help it. Jealousy came to you in waves inhibiting your sense of everything and clouding your judgement. You hoped the scowl on your face wasn't obvious as you offered to go bring plates for the pizza in an attempt to excuse yourself from the conversation taking place.

"Oppa," nudged Hyun-jee, "Go help her."

Hyunjin stood up and approached you the way one approached a hungry tiger. His smile was warm and inviting but his eyes reflected well deserved caution. He attempted at making conversation with you but you only answered with nods and hums.

Eventually, he just gave up and sat on a bar stool sprinkling seasoning over the freshly delivered pizza. "I'm surprised you got your girlfriend here," you broke the silence, the snark in your voice painfully audible.

"Why?" Hyunjin's eyes trailed up from his tedious task and surveyed you carefully.

"Well, after our conversation that night..."

Irritation flashed in Hyunjin's eyes. "Not all of us can pine over someone we know we can never be with," he huffed.

You blinked for a second, something suspiciously wet prickling the depths of your eyes. What? To him, this might have been just a casual passing comment. To you, this was venom, seeping into your heart and poisoning it.

"Maybe if I didn't have unreasonably high standards of love, I would be better at holding onto it," you rebutted harshly without even thinking about the consequences of what you had said.

Hyunjin's face wore the undeniable expression of shock. In the heat of the moment, you felt almost angry at him. How could he say something so cruel and not expect you to give a befitting reply in return?

Then, the effect of your entire conversation weighed upon you. Gasping at your insolence, you turned around and felt a drop of water slide down the side of your cheek. You wondered if Hyunjin's eyes became a catchment area for tears the way yours did, pushing violently to be let out in a torrent.

Afterwards, you barely spoke to anyone. Quickly eating a slice of the unfortunately delicious pizza, you cited sickness as a reason to not be a present of the lovely and suicidal thought inducing situation you were stuck in.

Making a mental note to ask Hyun-jee where she ordered the pizza from, you headed home, thinking and over thinking your conversation with Hyunjin. The entire scene replayed in your head multiple times but one thought was annoyingly persistent: You went from loving Hyunjin, to somewhat professing said love for him, to giving him very, very good reason to despise you.

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the day of.

Hyun-jee was finally turning a year older and after spending her last six birthdays in the comfort of only you and Reina, this year she was planning a lavish one week beach getaway. All her closest friends were coming which honestly wasn't a lot: just you, Hyunjin, Reina and one of Hyun-jee's cousin's and her boyfriend.

You hoped that tensions would be alleviated between you and Hyunjin considering that you both hadn't communicated a word to each other since the mini argument you both had five months ago. Surprisingly enough, Hyunjin broke up with his girlfriend a few weeks ago, after only a short two months of dating.

You gulped in fear at the thought of you and Hyunjin being the only single people on the trip. Mustering up courage nonetheless, you sat in the taxi that was taking you on the way to the resort lobby where you would meet the others.

Sitting in the car, you decided to try and get some more writing for dissertation done. You already had all your research and citations compiled; all you had to do was type it all up and submit it. Hell, you even had your thoughts in order, but every time you opened up that blank document and watched the cursor blinking at you, all your motivation vanished into thin air.

Not wanting to put yourself through any more torture, you decided to open up your phone and scroll aimlessly through social media. The thought of a beach getaway excited you. After working to death's end for the last few months, you knew you had earned a well deserved break.

When the taxi pulled up to the resort, you got out and closed your eyes at the salty breeze that hit your face. You didn't care that the wind blowing around did not, in fact, make your hair look like it was in a shampoo commercial and instead made it look like the individual strands were having a seizure. The cool air was a welcome contrast to the stuffy interior of the airplane and subsequent taxi you had taken to get here.

You walked into the large reception lobby, trying not to gasp at the sight in front of you. Large potted plants lined the walkway with a humongous fountain of an angel in the middle. Golf carts whizzed around you and servers carrying bottles of champagne and rose offered you kind smiles.

Noticing that Hyun-jee and the other's had just arrived then, you raced up to her, lugging your suitcase behind you. Hyun-jee face lit up as soon as she saw you. Throwing her hands around your neck and pulling you in for a hug, the two of you giggled after she stumbled on a stray pebble. Giving everyone else a warm grins and nods, your eyes met Hyunjin and he offered you a tight smile in acknowledgement.

This was going to be a long week.

Hyun-jee walked up to the receptionist to ask for all of yours's rooms. While she was busy with that, you took out your phone and clicked pictures of everything. You never really posted pictures like these (or any in general), rarely ever active on sites like Instagram unless the occasion called for obsessive internet stalking (which you were questionably amazing at). Instead, you sent all these pictures to your sisters, mostly to make them feel jealous because that was a very older sibling-like thing to do.

Snorting at your youngest sister's almost instantaneous response, which was a string of emojis containing mostly eye-roll emojis, you didn't notice Hyun-jee walk back to the group. You noticed the worried expression on her face, taking in her knitted eyebrows. She had been spending a lot of time sorting out the reservation with the receptionist.

"Guys, I'm really sorry but turns out I forgot to reserve the rooms and I'm so sorry and-"

"Breathe, Hyun-jee," Hyunjin cut her off and placed his hand on her right shoulder.

Hyun-jee took a deep breath, the guilt simmering in her eyes. She sneaked a quick glance at you for reassurance and you notedly obliged, shooting her a thumbs up.

Hyun-jee was nothing short of a perfectionist. Lately, she had been spending literal days at her office, wrapping up an important business deal. Always having everything planned, always knowing the exact details of everything was something she prided herself on.

"So- so here's the thing. I have booked three rooms right now which are on the same floor. Two of them have one bedroom and the third-" Hyun-jee slowly glanced at you and Hyunjin, "And the third is one room but with two beds."

Oh, so then you would still be able to stay here. Perfect. Oh. You would have to share a room with Hyunjin.

Hyun-jee looked at the both of you nervously, gauging your reactions. You hadn't told her about your petty little conversation with Hyunjin and assumed that he hadn't either. His eyes widened with shock and met yours, but a wave of understanding passed through the both of you: you would tolerate it because it was Hyun-jee's birthday and she was the priority here.

"Is that okay?" Hyun-jee stuttered softly.

Reina had walked over to Hyun-jee and wrapped her arms around her waist. Hyun-jee's cousin, Byeol, assured her that the arrangement was just fine.

Not wanting to worry Hyun-jee further, Hyunjin hastily replied, "Yes, yes, of course."

You spared him a glance before your eyes went to Hyun-jee's once again, and with a smile you hoped did not look stressed, you added on, "Yep. I mean, it's just a week, isn't it?"

Hyun-jee let out a sigh of relief and reached out to give your hand a squeeze. Absentmindedly, you gave her a distracted smile. Your mind was on other things, Hwang Hyunjin and the prospect of sharing a room with him at the forefront of your long train of thought.

It would be fine, right? After all, there were two beds. And as absurd as the entire situation was, you had read enough romcoms and watched enough Hallmark movies to know that the real problems only began when there was just one bed. Which there wasn't. Unfortunately.

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Hyunjin had graciously offered you to take a shower first. Stripping bare, you felt the lukewarm water hit your skin as you went through the itinerary of the day ahead in your brain again.

1: Lunch at a cute rooftop restaurant that Hyun-jee had (for real this time), reserved.

2: Coming back to the resort get changed into your bathing suits.

3: Fulfilling the 'beach' part of the beach getaway.

4: Sleep, maybe.

5: Bonfire dinner!

You came out of the shower wearing tank tops and jeans shorts, a wet towel in your hand. Hyunjin strewn was on his bed (closer to the door), texting someone, or in his case, multiple someones. You assumed it was a group chat because the screen lit up with a notification numerous times.

The sight of Hyunjin biting his lip to stop himself from bursting out in laughter while wearing nothing but (at least you assumed it was nothing) a bathrobe did things to you that most definitely should not have been done.

For the sake of your sanity, you cleared you throat as a sign of banishing Hyunjin to the shower. He gave you a nod, grabbed his towel, and walked away. You let out a sigh and after hanging your towel on the balcony railing, dramatically fell onto your bed.

Hyunjin hadn't really told you much after you both entered the room. He only offered to let you shower first. You were brushing your hair and humming in partial contentment. You had resulted against washing your hair, knowing you would wash it again after coming back from the beach.

You're Taylor Swift album marathon was rudely, in you humble opinion, interrupted by the sound of a door opening. You were met, however, with an ethereal looking Hwang Hyunjin, fresh out of a shower. Beads of water hung to his neck and the tips of his hair. You were overcoming by an extremely concerning urge to lick them off.

Although Hyunjin was currently very aggressively wiping his hair with his towel, he had a smirk on his face, an obvious indication of him noticing you checking out. You looked away with a cough and a blush. Hyunjin fell onto his bed with an oomf and laid on his back while playing games on his phone.

You decided to break the ice wall erected between the two of you by blurting out, "I'm sorry for what I said that night. You didn't deserve to here any of that."

Hyunjin looked up from his phone in surprise. He studied you for a moment. Hyunjin finally broke the agonizing silence. "Likewise. I genuinely apologize for anything I may have said that night," he hesitated, "Does this mean that we can go back to normal?"

You gave him a small smile and a nod, although you knew just as well as him that there was no 'we' to go back to normal too.

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All throughout lunch, you failed at acknowledging the close proximity between you and Hyunjin. He sat next to you because, who was he to sit with somebody else's significant other? His thigh was pressed against yours and his fingers brushed yours over and over again.

"So, um, I heard about your breakup. How have you been holding up?" you asked. You wanted a gauge on how depressing your de facto roommate would act over the week.

"Oh," he responded nonchalantly, "I never really saw it as a relationship. We just weren't compatible at all."

Your brain processed his words as your eyes trailed the plate of seafood kebabs being brought to your table. You were in the process of eating one when Hyunjin added, "I think I might actually like someone else, and I'm not one for emotional cheating."

It's safe to say that the hot sauce you dipped the kebab in went down the wrong pipe.

After that tantalizingly long endeavor you had just undertaken, you were back in the comfort of your hotel room. You and Hyunjin decided that you would change in the bathroom while he would change in the actual room itself.

You had absolutely no intention of actually getting into the ocean water. It was getting late (yes, you considered three in the afternoon late) and you were not a big fan of swimming, despite having learnt it when you were younger. Your outfit was extremely simple, consisting of a sage green crop top, white long flowy skirt, a pair of sandals and finally a cute tote bag to store your camera, books and other essentials.

Stepping out of the bathroom, you did a little twirl to check if the skirt was spin worthy. Hyunjin watched you with a smile and give you a small clap after you were done. You blushed profusely, his existence somehow (?!) completely slipping from your mind.

"You look beautiful," said Hyunjin kindly with a wide smile.

"So do you," you replied breathlessly.

Hyunjin looked effortlessly attractive in a white button up that was half untucked and loose black pants. The first button was undone and you could see a shark bone necklace perfect encapsulated in the dip of his collarbone.

You were imagining how it would feel to run your fingers along it when Hyunjin asked, "Don't plan on swimming? I know I don't."

"Nope," you replied sheepishly as you both walked out the hotel door, "I actually have a fear of the ocean, as embarrassing as it sounds."

"It isn't embarrassing. I get nightmares about carrots," Hyunjin confessed with a shudder. You snickered at his words.

Hyunjin's hand lightly held your arm and guided you towards the right direction. The feel of his skin on yours completely wiped away your initial mortification at walking in the completely opposite direction.

He dropped your arm as spontaneously as he held it and you both stood awkwardly in the lobby, waiting for Hyun-jee and Reina. Byeol wasn't feeling well (she could come up with a better excuse) so her and her boyfriend went ahead with the decision of staying in.

The four of you walked out the resort in animated chatter. Being more of a listener yourself, you took a backseat as Hyunjin and Hyun-jee wildly gesticulated about work, life and (for some reason) the benefits of chocolate milk. Reina passed you a knowing smile; the two siblings once brought together could not shut up for the life of them.

You noticed Hyun-jee hanging back. She waited for you to catch up to her and said, "I'm sorry about the arrangement. It can't be easy for you."

You looked at her questioningly, "Why wouldn't it be easy?"

"Well, you both don't really know each other that well. To top it all off, Hyune oppa stopped seeing that Ellie girl. He hasn't been moping around much, probably because it only lasted like a month."

Hyun-jee paused and continued in a whisper, "I think she was more into him than he was into her."

You just laugh with a shake of your head and run up to Reina, throwing an arm around her shoulder. Through the corner of your eye, you see Hyunjin observing the three of you with a sad smile. You instantly feel guilt at leaving him out, even though the three of you were close friends long before Hyunjin came into the picture.

When you finally reach the beach, everyone settles into their designated role. Reina and Hyun-jee play volleyball with a bunch of locals while you and Hyunjin retreated under a covered cabana. Hyunjin sat on one side of it, sketching on his sketch pad, while you laid down on the other side, indulging in a mystery thriller.

Old habits really do die hard.

You turned to look at Hyunjin. The expression of concentration on his face was still the same. His hair was longer now though, and locks of it fell into his eyes. You felt the urge to push it away and subconsciously, ended up doing so.

He looked up at you. "Oh, um, your hair, I-" you stammered incoherently.

Hyunjin let out a chuckle. "It's fine. Thank you."

He turned back to his unfinished sketch and you put your book back in your tote bag. Wanting to stretch your legs, you noticed a dock like structure stretching out over the vast expanse of sea. Hyun-jee beckoned you towards her and the two of you set off to take pictures near that dock.

It felt slippery, at first, but eventually, you and Hyun-jee caught your balance. The farther out you went, the deeper was the ocean. The colors all blended to create beautiful hues of blue. They eerily mimicked the same hues that you currently were living in.

Hyun-jee's arms were full of shells, multicolored and all shaped differently. You both were so engrossed in picking at them that you didn't notice that you almost reached the end of the dock. Your sandal got caught on one of the stray nails.

And then you slipped.

And then you fell.

━━━━━━━✦✗✦━━━━━━━━

Funnily enough, the only thought in your mind while you were falling was how the whistling of the wind sounded like that of a tea kettle. You had only heard the sound of a tea kettle once before, at your grandmother's house. Your mom decided to take out the old blue kettle that laid forgotten under the stove and decided to whip up some chamomile tea with it.

What an odd thing to reminisce about.

After what felt like hours, your body hit the water. The screams you were initially hearing were now muffled. Water attacked you, dragging you downwards. You did learn how to swim, but your body felt like it was made up of bricks and lead, not skin and bones.

Instinctively, you closed your eyes and tried to throw your hands up. In an attempt to get an intake of breath, you opened your mouth. What a stupid mistake. Seawater and other substances flooded into your mouth. Bile rose up but you couldn't close your mouth. When you finally could, you were compelled to close it.

You felt your brain separate from your body, as if you were just watching what was happening and weren't present in the situation. All sense of time was gone. You had never felt more helpless and locked out of your body before. Tears streamed down your face, but it didn't matter because all of you was drenched anyways.

You felt your consciousness slip, and felt a peculiar serenity that you had never felt before. You were floating out of your body now, your mind keenly observing the vessel that was once you, flailing about like a fish out of water.

How ironic.

People said that drowning was the worst way to die.

Wait, what? What were you even thinking?

You were dying.

You were dying.

No. No, you couldn't die. There was so much left for you to see, to experience. You wanted a stable job, a family. You wanted to taste what a snickerdoodle cookie was like and wanted to see Olivia Rodrigo in concert. But most of all, you wanted to live.

Life was so beautiful. All the dips and highs and small straight lines made it an endless rollercoaster, yes, but it was a ride you were not ready to get off yet. If you lived after this, you told yourself, you would be selfish and do what you wanted.

You wanted to submit your thesis and and stand on that podium, certificate in hand. You wanted to go on a date with Hyunjin and did not care about whoever objected otherwise. You wanted to be Hyun-jee's bridesmaid when she and Reina got married in San Diego. You wanted to tell your parents you loved them and wanted to watch your sisters grow up.

You wanted, and wanted, and wanted and that was enough to keep you some kind of awake and alert.

You felt a pair of arms around your waist and another hoisting you up. Concerned chatter and sighs of relief were sounds that managed to seep through the thrumming in your ears. Opening your eyes and letting it adjust to the light, you collapsed onto the dock. You threw up whatever was inside of you, feeling someone patting your back.

Somebody helped you stand up, since you were still shaken up by the whole incident. You could see a small crowd on the actual beach and a drenched Reina in front of you. Hyunjin must have been the one holding you up then.

Hyun-jee face was frozen in shock, eyes still glued to the place where you had fallen. When she finally looked up at you, she let out a choked sob, and eventually a torrent of tears fell from her eyes. Watching her cry made you cry, as you were gently tugged back to the beach by Hyunjin.

He sat you down on the edge of the cabana you both had occupied earlier. A lifeguard was rushing over to you, checking vitals and making sure you weren't having any problems with your breath. After you felt like you were in a sober state capable to answer questions, you rattled off responses in a monotonous tone.

"Considering she was in the water for just under a minute," confirmed the lifeguard, "She should be fine."

Worry was still etched on everyone's faces though, frustrating you. You were not okay, and you knew that. Not being okay after such an incident was to be expected of you. But you were not okay in a way that couldn't be helped by them. You had no such severe physical injuries or major repercussions; but mentally?

You weren't quite sure your mind was even yours.

You assured everyone that you were okay over and over again. Hyunjin grabbed a blanket from a kind family also on vacation, offering you some water and hydrated salts as well. After thanking them profusely, you stumbled into the taxi that Hyun-jee had booked. While Hyun-jee and Reina stayed behind to file formalities with the local authorities, Hyunjin volunteered to take you back to the hotel room.

The entire sequences of events left you so dazed, that you couldn't even process what was happening. Sitting in the taxi and reflecting on what happened finally allowed the physical effects of almost drowning to settle deep into your bones.

It started with the shivering, your body uncontrollably shaking. You could feel someone's arms - Hyunjin's - wrap around you and start rubbing your sides. Then came to coughing, your throat parched and desperate for water. Through it all though, your mind stayed fixed at one point.

There was a light. And peace. So much peace it felt nearly unnatural.

You began sobbing. Your head was throbbing and the entire world felt dizzy. Hot tears streamed down your face. You could feel some rubbing circles on your back, hear someone comforting you. But you weren't present in the situation itself. Words blended into white noise and everything hurt.

The entire time, from Hyunjin helping you out of the car to Hyun-jee clearing the way to your hotel room, your brain was on autopilot. It wasn't that you were thinking about something else; you just couldn't think. You wanted silence and quiet.

As soon as Hyunjin closed the door, you slumped against it, dragging Hyunjin down with you. You entire body was still covered in water, but you didn't care. You couldn't even take in complete breaths; the lack of dryness on your skin didn't even occur to you.

Hyunjin put his chin on your head and whispered, "Just breathe. It'll all be over soon."

As your breathing and heart rate slowed, you became distinctly aware of the fact that you were currently covered in dirty water and the pee of aquatic animals. Breaking away from Hyunjin's comforting hold, you let out an incoherent string of words, grabbed the first pair of pajamas you could find, and staggered into the bathroom.

Throwing off your clothes with a newfound urgency to feel dry and clean, you stepped into the shower and let out a tired sigh as soon as the hot droplets hit you repeatedly. It was a startling contrast to the unchanging sensation of cold you were locked in for the past thirty minutes (at least that was what you assumed it was, considering your knowledge of time itself was currently fucked). Feeling your muscles loosening underneath you, you made the blunder of closing you eyes.

As soon as you did, the water now sliding down your naked skin felt all too similar to the water that nearly took your life.

You were drowning again, literally in water and figuratively in despair. You reached out for help, screamed until your voice went hoarse. The light was coming for you, luminescent orbs turning into menacing vessels of death. But nobody came. And the terrifying reality was, nobody would.

Tripping over the shower cubicle, you lunged for your towel and scrubbed your skin until it was red and raw. Even a single drop of water felt like acid on your skin. In you haste to put on your clothes, you forgot to turn the shower on. Mustering your courage, you reached to turn the knob and made sure that no part of your body contacted anything other than a dry surface.

When you teetered over the elevated surface of the bathroom an soon as you opened the door, Hyunjin was already there to steady you.

"I'll dry your hair," he offered.

You nodded, still mum, and sat down on Hyunjin's bed. You noticed that he had changed into a white cotton shirt and gray sweatpants. Hyunjin leaned over to plug in the hairdryer. Coaxing you into turning around, his hands wove through your hair and nearly rocked you to sleep.

"Hyunjin," you whispered deliriously, "I feel safe in your arms."

You must have been really tired because you completely missed his response.

"And I feel safe knowing you are in my arms."

━━━━━━━✦✗✦━━━━━━━━

After Hyunjin had dried your hair, he helped you onto your bed. You had fallen asleep due to the sheer weight of your exhaustion. Hyunjin promised that he would be in the room, not leaving for a second. Your eyes shut and you slept for almost four hours.

When you woke up, it was late. The sky was no longer colored light blue, but instead shone a dark navy. You turned over your phone on the nightstand.

9:00 PM

"Hyun-jee came over," Hyunjin said.

You turned around to see him watching a drama on his phone. His hair was tussled, as if he had run his hands through it repeatedly. His eyes looked tired and his body looked weary but his smile was like a peek of sunlight on an unreasonably cloudy day.

"She left some noodles for you," he motioned towards the large Styrofoam box on the little coffee table in your room.

You snatched up and hungrily began eating. "Thanks," you said between mouthfuls.

"No problem. You should be thanking Hyun-jee."

"I will."

"Do you want to watch something?"

"Okay."

Hyunjin started a new drama for the both of you to watch. The only sounds in the room were noises from his laptop and your slow chewing. You were grateful that Hyunjin didn't press whenever you replied half heartedly or with one word.

It was such a paradoxical situation, the one you were stuck in. A mere ten hours ago, the thought of him being in close proximity almost drew you to insanity. Now, his steady presence was the only thing keeping you grounded.

Fate truly is fickle.

━━━━━━━✦✗✦━━━━━━━━

You woke up from your slumber with a start, sweat soaking through your clothes and onto your bedsheets. You were breathing heavily, so much that your lungs were hurting. Beside you, you could hear Hyunjin stirring in his sleep.

You chest was constricted and your breathing was shallowed. Ugly tears inched slowly, down your cheeks. Your hands were shaking and your vision was blurry.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm here now."

"I'm fine, I'm fine," you whispered to Hyunjin in the darkness.

"No," he said firmly, "You clearly aren't. Let me help you. Please."

You gave him a nod, which he probably didn't see in the darkness. Leaning over to turn on the table lamp nestled between the two beds, with a small click, the entire room was eliminated.

"Nightmare?"

"Yes. Sorry for disturbing you."

"Don't be."

Hyunjin started humming something into your hair, making you feel drowsy. Sleep was coming in waves, but you refused to close your eyes. Fighting to keep them open, you tried to place why whatever Hyunjin was humming sounded so familiar. Finally, you realized it.

"Oh my god," you snorted, "Are you humming the Sofia the First theme song right now?"

"Shh," he giggled, "Let me honor Sofia in peace."

You nestled into him more comfortable and felt his head fall onto yours. Slowly, he pulled you down onto the bed.

"Do you mind is I sleep?" he questioned.

"No," you replied, "Just please keep holding me."

He placed a soft kiss on your cheek in response and comfortably placed his head on the crook of your neck. Soon enough, melodious snores (how do even his snores sound attractive?) filled the silence in the room. You could do this forever.

Oh. You could do this forever.

But you didn't have forever. What you had was tantalizingly short in the grand scheme of things. And nearly dying had really put things into perspective. You might not have forever, but you have now. And ideally, now was all you needed.

But what would Hyun-jee think?

Except, did it really matter what she thought? She was your best friend, she had seen pieces of you that you hadn't shown anyone. If anybody would understand, it would be Hyun-jee. You began to question yourself. Was it really Hyun-jee you were scared of, or something else entirely?

Putting the blame on Hyun-jee for stopping yourself from pursuing Hyunjin was so easy. The truth was, you were frightened. Hyun-jee's opinion had nothing to do with it whatsoever.

You were so scared of the consequences after the falling apart of a relationship, that you were hesitant to be in one in the first place. The prospect of heartbreak and it's accompanying nastiness petrified you to the point where you were blind to the beauty of being in a relationship.

Your situation was pathetic really. You were pathetic. It wasn't even a paradoxical situation of unrequited love where you were hopelessly head over heels in love with Hyunjin and he couldn't have cared otherwise. He liked you back, at one point, may even have loved you back.

After tossing and turning, you finally came to one decision you were determined to go through with.

That night, you didn't sleep for two reasons: fear of drowning in the ocean and anticipation to drown in Hyun-jee's.

"Good morning angel," he yawned, "Did you get any sleep?"

"No," you gulped.

"Well that's to bad," he mumbled against you neck.

His hair tickled your face and you began second guessing whether or not you should really do this. Hyunjin blinked once, slowly, as if taking in his surroundings. When he probably realized where he was, he got up with a start.

"Shit, I had no idea I was this close to you. I'm really sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable and-"

"I like you," you blurted out. "I like you and I want to date you. I know you like me as well and I love Hyun-jee, but I want to experience loving you."

You looked down shyly as Hyunjin's jaw dropped. He cupped his hand around your cheeks and replied breathlessly, "Oh thank goodness. I would kiss you but you just survived a traumatic event and my breath probably stinks."

You opened you mouth to respond but ended up yawning instead. Hyunjin visibly held back his laughter and you playfully hit his arm.

You gave him a side-eye and he pulled you back into bed again, tickling you in the process. You shoved him and he laughed at you and by the end of it, you were so out of breath and so happy, that a part of you forgot that you very well may not have been here today.

You didn't have forever, but you had Hyunjin and that was enough.

━━━━━━━✦✗✦━━━━━━━━

epilogue.

You put your bags down on the wooden floor with an animated 'oof!' while you once again took in the grandeur of the Hwang family ski lodge. You were back again, invited (this time by Hyunjin) to spend the summer with the Hwangs.

Everything was coming full circle, wasn't it?

Hyunjin's mother approached you with a smile on her face. She pulled you in for a tight hug, her perfume attacking your senses.

"How have you been, my child?" Her hair was pinned up to perfection and her skin was flawless.

"Really good," you told her excitedly, filling her in on all the gossip that was taking place at your university.

She listened to you keenly and once you finished, she told you, "Oh, Hyunjin is in his room, by the way."

She shot you a wink and you felt like you would melt out of embarrassment.

"I didn't know he told you," you said sheepishly.

"He didn't have to," his mother laughed.

Mothers. Their powers were strong enough to make the childhood version of you believe they were psychic.

You bounded up the familiar stairs to Hyunjin's room. Not bothering to knock (what's the worst he could be? naked?), you rushed inside and fell dramatically onto his bed. Hyunjin regarded you with a hint of fear at you sudden entrance.

Turning over on your stomach to face him, you announced with an air of superiority, "I did it."

That could only mean one thing in this context.

Hyunjin's eyes widened. "You did it? You submitted your dissertation?" he asked in awe.

You nodded enthusiastically and brought your face close to his. "I'm yours for the next three months now."

Hyunjin pouted, "I thought you already were mine."

You rolled your eyes at him and pulled him in for a long awaited kiss. It was to no avail however; you both were smiling against each other's lips so much that it wasn't quite a kiss.

Breaking away, you were about to settle in next to Hyunjin when you told him, "It feels weird though. Not having to do anything. Does that make sense?"

"If you say it, it makes sense. And if I happen to think it does not, I will attempt to look at it from your perspective. Regardless of either situation though, I will accept it because I love you, and that to me is what love is. Unwavering dedication and acceptance," Hyunjin replied with ease.

You felt your heart stutter. He was the first to say he loved you, two weeks ago under a dimly lit bookstore you were in. Hyunjin was said he knew the moment you gave him a smile and he realized, it was a smile you only presented in front of him.

"I love you too, dork," you said cheekily.

Hyunjin had shown you shades of love that you could never escape from. Every little action of his encompassed love. From the small smiles he always sent your way to the way he tucked your hair behind your ear and always carried extra rubber bands for you, Hyunjin was love personified

"I'm here!" came the unmistakable voice of Hyun-jee.

You and Hyunjin exchanged a glance. You had decided that it would be best to tell Hyun-jee about the relationship as soon as possible. Hiding your relationship from her for three months seemed like a mammoth endeavor.

After finding Hyun-jee wolfing down cookies in the kitchen and giving her a customary bear hug, you gave her a nervous laugh.

"Wosh? You bosh look like you neesh to chell me shomething."

"Ew," whined Hyunjin, "Chew first."

Hyun-jee swallowed and said, "You both look like you're hiding something from me. You didn't break something I own, right?"

"Actually," you hesitated and Hyunjin gave you a small nod of encouragement, "We did have to tell you something. Hyunjin and I... we have been dating for the last two, two and a half months."

You let out a slow breath, gauging Hyun-jee's reaction. Her eyes widened and her eyebrows knitted. You could see her visibly tensing and take in a shallow intake of breath.

Shock slowly settled into Hyun-jee's features. "How long?"

"Well technically since we were eighteen, but we were scared of your reaction and-" you gave Hyunjin a small kick to his shin. He ruffled your hair back.

"So, you are telling me that you both have liked each other for that long but decided not to do anything about it because you were scared of me?" Hyun-jee marvelled.

"Well, yes-"

"Oh my god," Hyun-jee laughed, "You both are so dense. Do you know how much I have been rooting for this relationship? Hell, I even booked one room for the two of you as soon as I realized that I forgot."

"You did that on purpose?" you were reeling from the revelation.

All of your belief that you would have to choose between friendship of love came crashing down. Relief washed over you and a sob that was lodged in your throat finally found release.

Hyun-jee and you went back and forth until Hyunjin finally put an end to the conversation. "These," he declared picking up the tin of cookies that Hyun-jee was previously snacking on, "Are mine."

He proceeded to run out of the kitchen as Hyun-jee chased him with a spatula, screaming bloody murder. After the siblings finally calmed down, all three of you collapsed onto the large couch in the middle of the lounge. Looking at your friends, your family, made you realize that you were loved.

Maybe, falling in love wasn't so bad. Yes, you fell. You fell hard and soft, you fell with your hands bloodied and the sensation of flying. You fell, but Hyunjin was there to catch you. And as he assured you over and over again, he would always be there to catch you.

Hyunjin laced his hands through yours and gave it a squeeze. This time, it was a promise. A promise of whatever eternity you both had left that would be spent together. A promise to love through the light and the dark.

A promise to be each other's first and last loves.

main taglist (reply to be added) -

@linoalwaysknows @moon0fthenight @hyulino @palindrome969

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fic taglist - @scarlet789 @taichoushadowficrec

[ghostofhyuck]

NCT Dream proposing. 

AN: This is long because I got carried away. 

Mark Lee ; Composed a song for you.

I MEAN, what else will Mark do aside from composing a love song to his future wife??? He'll make sure that his song's message is clear that he's proposing to you and he wanted to have a future with you. He has the NCT members listen to the song, Mark gotta make sure that his message is there and although it is endearing, the members ARE TIRED, "Mark, it's great and cheesy, she will love it." they repeated numerous times. That's not enough, he'll drag them in his small scheme. He'll prepare a solo stage, rent a theater place where you thought you will be watching your favorite rom-com movie. But then Mark leaves suddenly when the movie is about to end. And then after the movie end, the lights turn off, and then the spotlight is on Mark, who's on the stage, holding a mic. He'll began singing it and you're just in daze there. Then the Dreamies will appear, giving you roses one by one, and Haechan guides you towards Mark. As soon as he finishes the song, he grabs the velvet box in his pocket and then proposes to you. Of course you said yes, almost teary-eyed, and the Dreamies will celebrate with you two!

Huang Renjun ; Over a vacation.

Renjun will prepare a three days and two nights out of the country trip with you. It's a once in a lifetime experience, and he made sure he'll choose the place that you've been wanting to go, he'll rent a hotel room from a luxurious resort and made the itinerary alone. He made sure that you don't have any worries aside from packing your stuff. When the vacation arrived, you two made the most out of it, like two lovebirds on their honeymoon. Renjun envisioned it and he feels giddy about proposing to you. Then on the last night of your stay, he'll bring you to an expensive restaurant, book a private room for the two of you. It was special, and you look gorgeous in your dress. At the end of the dinner, Renjun grabs your hands and he felt nervous, even stuttering through his words, and when he popped the question, you couldn't help but cry. Holding his hands endearingly and saying yes to him. When the two of you returned to Korea, both of you are wearing engagement rings. 

Lee Jeno ; Privately, just the two of you. 

Compared to the other members, I feel like Jeno's proposal to you is very simple. It'll be just the two of you, at your shared apartment. You just finished washing the dishes, and you two decided to stay at the kitchen, talking about the future. There's a few bottle of beers opened as you two talked about what you two envisioned about the future. It'll be in the most random moment, Jeno noticed you more than the usual, have you always been this beautiful? He would randomly brush his hands to your face, surprising you. In the moment of silence, Jeno asked if you want to get married, and you became quiet for a moment. "Right now?" you asked. "I mean, not right now, but maybe in a few months?" then Jeno proceeds to explain how you two have been live-in partners for years, so it felt natural to proceed to marriage. "Of course I would love to," you answered with glee. Wrapping your arms around him and giving him a kiss, in which he reciprocates.

Lee Donghyuck ; In front of your family.

Haechan's a family man, let's be real. He'll be the type who'll propose to you in front of your family. It'll be a small private dinner party. You were wondering why he decided to host a dinner party and Haechan lies to you, telling you that he just feels like hosting a dinner. So when the party arrives, his family and your family are there, since you and Haechan have been together for a long time, everyone's acquainted with each other. In the middle of the party, Haechan suddenly grabs everyone's attention, you thought that it'll be simple speech since he's the host but then he calls you and cluelessly you approached him, Haechan proceeds to thank you for being there for him, and all the cheesy words that he could say without stuttering. BUT THEN, he goes onto his knees, that's when you started to get nervous. Haechan grabs a velvet box from his slacks and then asked you, "Will you marry me?" and you were embarrassed for a moment because your family is there, but of course, you said yes to him. Everyone celebrated your engagement that night. 

Na Jaemin ; Extravagant dinner date.

Jaemin will be the type to drop hints that something will happen. He brought you a gorgeous dress, gave you money to pamper yourself, and even told you to clear your Sunday night for a dinner. At first, you thought that it's just a normal dinner at an expensive dinner since Jaemin has brought you to those kind of dinners numerous times, but you couldn't help but still feel nervous about it. When Jaemin picked you up, he gave you a huge bouquet of roses which made you smile. You kept asking him what's the occasion but your boyfriend only gave you a smile. As you two reached the place, you found out that he rented a rooftop restaurant for just the two of you. From the top, you can see the whole view of Seoul. It was wonderful and the food was even more delicious. At the end of the dinner, Jaemin brings you to the edge of the balcony, there he confesses to you once again, telling you how much he loves you and he wanted to be with you forever. He grabs the velvet box from his suit and as he opens the box, fireworks went on display. Overwhelmed with the feeling, you cried as you said yes to Jaemin. He puts the ring on you, and you two shared a heartfelt kiss. "Oh by the way, the fireworks was just a coincidence," Jaemin said, making you laugh.

Zhong Chenle ; Where you two first met

Chenle would be a sentimental type of person. He wanted to make sure that you'll remember his proposal, so he brings you to the first place you two met. It's by a coffee shop. You were a customer and he was next to you, he rescued you when you realized that you forgot your wallet. You told him that you'll repay him, but Chenle was love-struck by you, and told you to repay him with a date instead. So when he asked you to meet him at the same coffee shop, you only smiled, remembering the first time you two met. As soon as you entered the place, you noticed the extravagant designs. It was empty. There were flowers and balloons around on display, and even the place was scattered with rose petals. From the back door, Chenle exits and approaches you. You were dumbfounded as your boyfriend started his speech, saying how this is the place where he met the love of his life, he thinks that the two of you fated for each other. He then goes onto his one knee, grabs the box from his pocket and asked you to marry him. You couldn't help but to hug him, making him lose balance. You showered him with kisses on his face before you said yes. 

Park Jisung ; On the stage. 

Jisung is a sneaky bastard with this one. Since you're a dancer, he wanted to do a collab stage with him. It was for his solo stage in Dreamies' concert. You two perfected the choreography which Jisung created. You thought that the routine is finished. Your moves were synchronized and your audience (Dreamies) can see the chemistry between the two of you. When the concert arrived, you were nervous but at the same time, was confident with your skills. One by one, Dreamies performed their solo stage, and when it was Jisung's turn, he assured you that everything's going to be fine. You two performed and the audience were in awe with your performance, they knew that you two are in a relationship but only did they realized that you two are meant for each other because of the performance. When the music stops, you two did your final pose where you two are standing in front of each other. He then smiles at you and then steps back, grabs something from his pocket and the only thing you can hear is the audience's scream. "Marry me?" Jisung whispered to you as he raised the ring so that you can see it, you hold back your tears but didn't hesitate to say yes to him. Everyone knew that you said yes when they saw Jisung's gummy smile as he puts the ring on your finger, and proceeds to hug you. 

[sxgakookie]

Summary: Your husband has found your behavior to be annoying at best, and he knows exactly how to make sure you’re back in line. Genre: Smut (dom! and mafia!Yoongi x reader) Rating/Warning: Adults Only (Strong language, explicit sexual content including dom-sub roles, anal sex, sex toys, oral sex [f receiving], unprotected sex, light choking, spanking, praise kink, daddy kink, degradation kink, female and male orgasm, brief aftercare.) Word Count: ~ 2.5k

When Yoongi walked into the bedroom, he was happy to see that you obeyed him for the first time that day. You, his beautiful wife, had acted like a brat since that morning. Whiny, demanding, spoiled, calling his office and interrupting meetings. He knew he spoiled you, and in all honesty, he knew he’d continue to do so. Being the wealthiest crime leader in Korea allowed him to. A closet of designer clothes, the best vacations and the most expensive restaurants for your date nights together. But when you acted like a brat, he knew he needed to discipline you properly and remind you of your place. He was your husband, and he demanded respect. 

You were bent over in the center of the bed, with your head resting down in the soft pillows. Your eyes were covered with a silk black blindfold, preventing you from seeing anything. You wore only black lace panties, with your breasts exposed. The panties themselves were a revealing pair of thongs, presenting your body for your husband to use as he liked. You waited patiently, as Yoongi rolled up the white sleeves of his button-up dress shirt. 

“What a fucking slut.” He murmured, walking over with the tap of his shiny black loafers hitting the floor. He caressed the soft skin of your bottom, before grabbing a handful to grope you properly. “You’ve been a real fucking brat today, honey. Did you know that?” 

“Yes, sir.” You mumbled. 

“Louder.” He demanded, earning you a harsh smack on your ass. 

“Yes, sir!” You repeated louder, feeling your skin grow hotter after the hit. 

“That’s better.” Yoongi said, walking away to go to the special drawer of your shared dresser. Your ‘toy box’, he often referred to it. “Speak up when I ask you a question. When you’re bratty, you know I don’t have a choice but to discipline you. What are the rules of your punishment, honey?” 

“Red light means stop. Yellow means we need to take a break. Green means go ahead.” You repeated your previous lessons. 

“Very good.�� Yoongi said, kneeling on the bed behind you. “So it seems like you can listen when you want to.” 

Your breathing picked up in anticipation with your husband being so close to you. You hadn’t had disciplinary sex in quite some time, and you knew your husband enjoyed bringing you to your breaking point. Yoongi loved watching you sink deeper into your submissive headspace, as he coaxed all the attitude out of you, leaving you fucked out and compliant. 

“You’ll receive 20 spankings.” Yoongi’s tone sounded nonchalant, teetering on boredom. “You’ll thank me after each one, understood?” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“Very good.” He nodded, starting off with another soft caress of your skin, before landing down a hard, loud SMACK onto your skin. 

“Thank you, sir.” You cried, feeling your skin sting. 

Another. “Thank you, sir.” Another. “Thank you, sir.” Another. “THANK YOU, SIR.” You sobbed, feeling the hot sting of your skin. 

“Color?” He paused, looking at the bright red marks your ass. 

“Green, sir.” You responded, gripping the sheets. 

“That’s my good girl.” He hummed, continuing his assault on the soft skin of your ass. 

Yoongi grew hard in his slacks, watching as you took each hit. He loved disciplining you, and loved how quickly your body reacted to it. You melted so easily, complying with thanking him, as he could see the wetness growing between your legs. You loved it just as much as he did.

“One more.” He said, placing one more hard hit onto your ass. 

“Thank you, daddy.” You whimpered. 

“You did very well.” Yoongi praised. Your skin was red, glowing with his punishment. “I’m going to remove your panties now.” 

You felt the fabric slide down your thighs, and stopped right where your knees were. Not taken off any more, just enough to allow your husband access to what he needed, and to expose your body to his eyes. 

Then, you felt his fingers and the cold metal of his wedding ring caressing the wetness of your opening. You let out a quiet “ah!” in surprise. 

“Settle down.” Yoongi’s deep voice said. “Be good, hold still, and take what I give you.” 

A finger, at a painfully slow speed, breeched your entrance. Your lips parted in response, but no noise came out. Only deep breaths, feeling him fuck his finger in and out of you. Rough, calloused skin of his hand pleasured you, creating more sensations as he added more digits. 

“Daddy…” You moaned. 

“Daddy?” Yoongi’s smirk was practically audible. “That’s what I like to hear. Is my sweet girl coming back to me?” 

“Daddy, I wanna cum.” You said, ignoring his question. 

“Tsk.” Yoongi responded. “Even after your spankings, you’re still being a brat.” 

He pulled his fingers from your opening, causing you to whine at the loss of contact. You felt so empty without him inside of you. Moments went by without any contact, driving you crazy, until finally, you heard the pop of a bottle cap opening. 

“Brats don’t get their pretty little pussy’s played with.” Yoongi said, shaking his head as though you could see him. “That's for good girls. But you haven’t been a good girl, have you, angel?” 

Just then, something wet and cold on the soft skin of your ass. Metal. Round. A plug. Yoongi found your anal plug in your “toy box”, and slowly began working it into your hole with the help of wet lube. 

“Relax, baby.” Yoongi encouraged, giving your cheeks soft kisses as he slid the the plug in a little deeper. “Open your ass for me…. Good girl. Breathe in, now back out. That's my good girl. Color?” 

“Green, sir.” 

“Good.” He gave your skin a playful nibble, before sliding the plug in completely. You gasped and your toes curled at the stretch. You kept your ass spread for him, knowing it’s better to do so until he says otherwise. “It’s been a while since I’ve chosen to give your ass a good fucking, hasn’t it, honey?” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“When you act like a brat, you get fucked like a brat.” Yoongi explained, pushing and pulling on the plug just enough to drive you mad. “You get fucked like a slut. Bent over for me with your legs and ass spread open, giving me your sweet little holes to stick toys in. What a dirty, slutty girl. Already dripping down your legs."

Yoongi’s voice was heavy with arousal, and before he could stop himself, he licked up the soft skin of your thighs. You shuddered at the feeling of his wet tongue, gathering your wetness to taste, and working his way to the source, pressing a soft lick to your pussy. 

“Daddy…” You whimpered. 

Yoongi had reached into his own pants, palming himself to the erotic scene before him. You tasted delicious, and he lapped at your pussy like it was his favorite drink. He sucked, kissed, licked and nibbled different areas of your sex as he saw fit, creating a collage of pleasure on your skin, and you responded accordingly. You gripped the sheets, you curled your toes, you deepened your breathing. Yoongi listened to every last whimper, whine, gasp and moan, drinking it in alongside the sweetness of your pussy. 

“Daddy… Gonna cum for you…” You whimpered, earning a pressured lick to your clit. “Daddy… Fuck…Please don't stop, love your fucking tongue so much…” 

Yoongi knew you were close to the edge by your babbling. He continued his sweet flicks onto your sensitive clit, bringing you closer and closer to a high. But right at your legs began to shake, and your sweet noises became louder… he stopped. An almost evil smirk appeared on his face.

“No!” You cried, feeling so, incredibly frustrated by your stolen orgasm. “Daddy, please! Please, I need to cum.” 

“Brats don’t cum whenever they want to.” Yoongi’s deep voice said as he began fully undressing himself. He wrapped his own hand around his remarkably hard erection, and slowly pumped himself to relieve some of his own ache. “You’re using your polite words now, baby. That’s good. What do sweet girls say when Daddy gives their pussy’s kisses?” 

“Thank you, Daddy.” You said, voice in a clear pout. 

There she is. Yoongi thought.

Yoongi slowly, gently, began to remove the plug from your ass, making you want to cry at yet another place no longer feeling full. 

“Shhhh, I know, baby.” Yoongi reassured you, speaking gently as he knew your bratty behavior was slipping away, making way for your submissive side. “I'll give you what you need, baby. Promise.” 

When you were no longer filled at all, Yoongi took his hard cock that was desperately throbbing, and lined up his red, frustrated tip with your opening, letting it rest on your cheek. 

“Gonna fuck your ass tonight, baby.” He whispered, staring at the way you waited so patiently for him. “Breathe for me, ok?” 

You did so, feeling his cock sink into you. It made you feel so full. Your husband’s length was large and thick, with textured veins that you could feel, no matter where he decided to breech you. As he pushed further, he let out a deep fuck from under his breath. The lube from the plug helped him slide in well, and he could feel every inch of you as he penetrated further. 

“Gonna fuck the brat out of you.” Yoongi growled, his length throbbing against your walls. “Gonna make sure you remember who the fuck you’re talking to.”

“Daddy, please.” You whined, as he began pushing himself in and out of your ass. You weren’t sure what you were begging for, but the feeling of his dick properly taking your ass for the first time in so long was almost overwhelming. 

“Take my cock, baby. Settle down and fucking take it.” He groaned, throwing his head back and gripping your hips tightly to keep your body in place. The sound of his skin slapping against yours echoed across the large mansion bedroom. “Whose pretty fucking hole is this, baby? Hm?” 

“Your hole, Daddy.” 

“Such a good girl. What belongs in this hole?” 

“Your cock.” You squeaked out. 

“That’s right, baby. So fucking smart.” He growled. “But that’s all you need to know, isn’t it baby? I pay for your clothes and shoes, pay the rent and bills, and get rid of anyone who fucking looks at you. All you need to worry about baby, is giving me a pretty little hole to fuck and speaking sweetly.” 

“Daddy, thank you…” You cried, feeling the friction strongly now with every push and pull of his hips. 

“I can tell I’m fucking the brat out of you.” Yoongi chuckled, bucking his hips. “You’re gonna listen, aren’t you baby? Gonna be my good girl?” 

“Yes, Daddy.” 

“All it took was your husband’s cock up your ass to get you to act right.” He tsked, placing another smack to your cheek, causing you to squeal. Yoongi moved your body so that you laid flat on your tummy, allowing him to press deeply into you as he laid on top. His arm snuck between your hips and the mattress, letting his fingers find your clit to play with. Yoongi’s lips were to your ear, so that he could whisper things more closely, and you could feel the warmth of his breath. 

“Ah!” You cried, feeling the soft pressure on your clit, combined with the rough pounding from behind. It made your head spin, the differences of how Yoongi could touch you. 

“Who makes you feel like that, baby?” He whispered in your ear. “Hm? Who makes your pussy that wet?” 

“You, Daddy.” 

“And don’t you ever fucking forget it.” His deep voice growled. “I love to spoil you when you’re listening to me, baby girl. That means letting you make a mess of the bed sheets.” 

He could feel you dripping onto the expensive cotton sheets, driving him crazy. He could hear your deep breaths and whimpers, and feel how close you were to an orgasm. 

“I wanna see you cum.” He finally said, wrapping a hand around your throat gently, just enough to give himself more control. “I know you need to, angel. Let go, and show me what a dirty, messy girl you are.” 

“Ah! FUCK... Love your fucking cock... SHIT...” You shrieked, gripping the sheets. You soaked the bed, crying as you came intensely. Yoongi tenderly peppered kisses to your cheeks, and slowed the harsh pounding to more delicately work you through your orgasm. 

“Good girl.” Yoongi whispered into your ear, pressing more kisses to your face. 

“Thank you for letting me cum, Daddy.” You whispered, a few tears still falling. 

“There’s my girl.” He whispered. “So polite, and so goddamn pretty, cumming so well for me. We’re gonna finish your discipline, ok? But first, give me a kiss.” 

You turned your head so Yoongi could connect your lips to his. As he did, he untied your blindfold, and threw it to the side. His eyes met yours for the first time that session, and as he pulled away, he wiped a tear from your eyes. 

“You’ve been so good tonight.” Yoongi praised, his hips beginning to pick up. “Look at me while I fuck you. Keep your eyes here, I’m gonna cum in your perfect little hole.” 

“Yoongi…” You whimpered, using your husband’s name for the first time that night. 

“Look at me, honey.” He reminded you, keeping his hand on your neck, squeezing gently. “Good girl… Let me see how pretty you look while I cum…” 

With only a few more pushes and pulls of his hips, and a soft kiss to your lips, Yoongi groaned as he emptied himself into you. You could feel his length twitch as he finally released, sighing into the kiss. 

“I love you, honey.” He whispered, deepening the kiss. 

“Love you, too.” You responded. 

“Let’s get you cleaned up, angel.” He whispered, brushed a lock of hair from your sweaty face. “Was I too rough with you, honey? Did I really hurt you? Did I say something wrong?” 

You shook your head no, planting a sweet, quick kiss to his lips. 

“I like it. All of it.” You reassure him. Being married to Yoongi meant being used to his dominant side, both in and out of the bedroom. It was a turn on for you, especially when he switches afterwards to treat you so delicately. It was something only you knew about, as you were the only one who knew him so intimately to see it. 

Yoongi, as exhausted as he was, still made sure to bring you to the bathtub and let you soak your sore muscles away while he changed the sheets, giving you both a fresh place to sleep. When you were finished cleaning up, he gave you a shirt from his side of the closet to put on, large enough on your body to act as a nightgown with nothing underneath. 

You settled in to bed, and fell asleep as he took a shower. Yoongi slipped on a clean pair of boxers, and crawled into bed with you, pulling your sleeping figure into his arms. 

“Love you so much angel.” He whispered, before planting a soft kiss to the top of your head. 

[whoreforjisung]

Pervy neighbor Jisung one-shot ✨

-Might continue the story in multiple parts if people are interested! I still have many ideas when it comes to pervy jisung

-Content / tags / warnings: smut / non-idol au / perv!jisung pining for new neighbor reader / masturbation (m,f) / ji is a little bit of an asshole / non-consensual pictures / one use of “noona” / drug and alcohol consumption / brief mentions of Felix, Minho, Changbin, and Seungmin

-Names are used as faceclaims only, and do not reflect the actions and personalities of real people

-Word Count: 6.2k

-I am very new to tumblr, and this is my very first time writing anything like this, so it is not proof-read or edited. Constructive criticism welcome!

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As a full-time freelance artist, you luckily had the liberty to pack up your cherished belongings and move to wherever you desired whenever you liked. That’s how you ended up landing yourself in Seoul at the ripe age of 24. It might sound silly, but you had a lifelong dream of living in a cozy apartment with a decent-sized balcony area. When a listing popped up during an impromptu trip to Korea, in Seoul nonetheless, for a manageable price, you immediately jumped on it. It was game over as soon as you visited and saw the beautiful balcony with a wrought-iron spiral staircase. After reluctantly returning home, it was hard to contain your excitement in the weeks leading up to your move. You were already eagerly selecting furniture to buy, as well as decorations, and brainstorming ideas on how to use the space as soon as you finalized the lease.

As you finally pulled up to the new apartment, you couldn’t contain the wide smile that crept across your face as you shielded your eyes from the sun, admiring your spacious balcony. Just the thought of being able to curl up at dusk with that book you’ve been meaning to read for ages on the hammock chair you purchased for it, had you teeming with excitement. It kept you in a positive spirit as you lugged boxes containing your possessions one by one up the stairs and into your new home. That was, until you accidentally dropped the large framed painting you were attempting to transport, sending it tumbling down the stairs leaving hundreds of glass shards in its wake. The sudden noise startling your cat, Newt, from his peaceful slumber in his carrier. He reacted with a hiss and a few agitated meows.

“Would it kill you to keep it down? Some of us are trying to WORK here! FUCK!” You look up from your kneeled position on the stairs as you’re scrambling to pick up the glass shards, and your eyes meet a young man with a scowl on his face, leaning over the balcony opposite to yours. He has a pair of headphones dangling around his neck and is clutching a can of beer, fingernails adorned with black nail polish. “I’m so sorry! I should’ve been more careful. It won’t happen again!” You replied as you continued picking up the pieces. “Whatever. Can you do something about your hairball? It’s making my damn ears bleed.” He angrily snapped in response, pointing towards Newt’s carrier. You could tolerate the first comment, but who did he think he was to so directly insult your pet like that? “Just because I caused a minor commotion doesn’t give you the right to be so rude to a complete stranger. Since I’m no longer disrupting you, Why don’t you close the window, remove the stick up your ass, and get back to your oh-so-important work while I quietly move the rest of my boxes into my house. Sound good?” He didn’t seem to have a response for you, instead opting to toss back the remainder of his drink, crushing the can and tossing it directly towards your feet before shutting the window. Taking a deep breath, you grabbed your dustpan from the box labeled “cleaning supplies” and swept up the rest of your mess (along with “mystery jerk neighbor’s” added trash) before moving the final few boxes, as well as the cat carrier inside.

You were so grateful the place came furnished, as you promptly slumped down on the green velvet couch, allowing yourself to take a quick breather before taking Newt out of the carrier, letting him explore while you unpacked his necessities and began assembling the cat tree. By the time sunset began to roll around, you had made a decent amount of progress unpacking and building a good amount of your living room and kitchen furniture, including your hammock chair for the balcony. After brewing yourself a cup of tea and grabbing the book you intended to read, you finally made your way to your new outdoor relaxation sanctuary.

After situating yourself in the chair, draping a thin blanket over your legs, and taking a sip of warm green tea, you let out a content sigh as you finally opened your novel, ready to immerse yourself into the story for the next hour or so. You made it through exactly 2 1/2 chapters before “mystery jerk neighbor” made his second appearance. This time, followed by a small white puppy and the unmistakable smell of weed. Now, you normally wouldn’t consider yourself to be the petty type, but his disrespect towards you earlier prompted you to throw some back his way in retaliation. When he took a long drag and proceeded to start coughing up a lung, you shouted “Keep it down would ya? Some of us are trying to READ here!” Mirroring his first words to you. “Oh that’s realll original” he replied with a pained rasp between coughs. Rolling your eyes, you redirected your attention back to your book, assuming that would be the end of the distraction.

A small handful of pages later, a loud “YOOOO FELIX” pierces through the silence as he starts a phone call. Placing a bookmark to save your spot, you close the book and set it on your small side table. After a few minutes you return , donning your noise cancelling headphones. You’d be damned if you were going to let him ruin your highly anticipated reading time after a long and exhausting day. A peaceful 10 minutes later, he retreats back into his own apartment- much to your delight. However, your joy is short-lived as he soon returns with an acoustic guitar slung across his torso and takes a seat. Unfortunately, you quickly realize his strumming penetrates through your headphones. So much for noise-cancelling. Completely losing your focus and not wanting to engage with him any further, you decide it’s time to head inside and get yourself ready for bed. After a much-needed shower to rinse off the sweat and dust that had accumulated on your body throughout the day, you continue your nightly routine. Slipping on a pair of panties and one of your many oversized sleep shirts, you head to the kitchen to finish your cup of tea while absentmindedly scrolling on tiktok. After setting your mug in the sink and brushing your teeth in the bathroom, you finally turn into bed and listen to Newt’s content purrs as he cuddles up to you, both of you quickly drifting off to sleep.

You curse yourself for setting your alarm so early as you’re jolted awake by the incessant, absurdly high-pitched beeping at 8:00 AM. You did have a specific reason for wanting to wake up so early though, as you remember your plans and reluctantly drag yourself out of bed. Your first task of the day was grocery shopping, so after brushing your teeth and twisting your hair up into a claw clip, you threw on a pair of sweatpants with a black cropped hoodie and began your walk to the nearest market.

Arriving after about fifteen minutes, you began working through your ingredients list. You stopped at an herb stall with a middle-aged woman behind the booth. One of your many plans for your balcony space was to install a fresh herb garden, so you engaged in small talk with the seller as you selected various herbs to purchase. “Do you sell cat grass?” You asked. Suddenly, a young man with blond hair springs up from under the counter. “You won’t find any here at the market, but I can show you where to get some!” You’re taken aback by the deep voice that comes out of him, as well as his strangely friendly offer. Sensing your apprehension, the woman adds “Oh don’t worry dear, you can trust him! Yongbok here is our designated neighborhood helper.” She smiles at him as she pats his back. “Oh uhh okay. I have a few more things to grab here first, if that’s okay?” You reply, setting your items down for him to ring up. A few minutes later, you finished picking up the rest of the items on your list and returned to the stall to let him know you were ready. “I’ll be back in about twenty minutes Auntie!” He called back to the woman as the two of you walked away.

You found it surprising how talkative he was. He told you his name was Felix, he grew up in Australia, but moved to Korea when he was seventeen, and he loves cooking, baking, and gaming. Even though you just met him, you were happy you shared some of the same interests, and honestly a little part of you hoped this wouldn’t be the last you’d see of him. The short walk led you to a large apartment complex. Felix told you his friend, Minho, is a huge cat-lover who grows his own cat grass, so you figured this is where he lived. It seemed like he spent a lot of time at Minho’s place, as the security guard immediately buzzed you both in as soon as he saw him, greeting him with a wave.

Felix knocked on the door as you arrived at, presumably, his friend’s unit. You could hear multiple voices from outside the door, and began to feel a little bit anxious. The door opened to reveal quite possibly the buffest man you have ever seen in person before. He quickly pulled your new acquaintance into a bear hug, shouting “FELIX IS HEREEE- and who’s this?” He added as he broke away, noticing you. You shyly introduced yourself to him, still standing in the doorway before Felix enters, pulling you both in. Feeling slightly overwhelmed by the amount of people present, you keep your gaze trained on the floor as he ushers you into the kitchen. “Hey Minho! This is the girl I texted you about. You know- the cat grass” He explained as he gestures toward you.

You pry your gaze from the floor to see an -admittedly, beautiful man holding a spatula and wearing an apron that says “world’s best Mom” on it in hot pink lettering. As you struggle to stifle a giggle, he quickly explains that he received it as a gift from his friend Seungmin. Since he can’t leave the kitchen while he’s cooking, he instructs Felix to take you to his study, where he has prepared a small pot for you to take home. As you enter the study, you notice a sleeping figure on the black leather couch in your peripheral vision. It wasn’t until you quietly retrieved the pot, turning to exit the room, that you recognized the person sleeping. He was your mysterious jerk neighbor! You had to admit though, as much as your very limited interactions with him pissed you off, he looked kinda cute peacefully sleeping like that- with his dark, curly hair cascading over the side of his face, cheeks all puffed out and lips formed into a devastating little pout. It was hard to believe this was the same man as the asshole that lived across from you. Once you realized you were staring at him, you shook your thoughts away and silently made your way back into the living room. Thanking Minho and bidding farewell to everyone else, you and Felix began your trek back to the market.

Arriving back home shortly after dropping Felix off and giving him your socials, you got to work putting away your groceries and began to tackle the daunting task of unpacking and organizing your belongings. In order to not burn yourself out, you made sure to take breaks every few hours. During your breaks you would work on artwork, watch an episode of the kdrama you were currently immersed in, play with Newt, crochet, and stretch- even doing a little bit of yoga in the evening.

After you were satisfied with the progress you made for the day, you booted up your computer and logged on to Miroh- a new labyrinth MMORPG you had found yourself getting absolutely sucked into lately. You didn’t find the time to game as often as you would have liked to, but when you did, you preferred to set aside a good four hours or so in order to ensure you’d make a decent amount of progress with every session. After several failed attempts to demolish the octo-cyclops boss of the S-Class dungeon- in order to acquire its exclusive armor set, you were about to call it quits for the night when a random player requested to join your party. You accepted the request from _doolsetnet, sending a gratitude emote as you entered the dungeon for the umpteenth time that night, this time with another player at your assistance.

Your morale was high as you successfully cleared the second stage almost flawlessly, mentally preparing for the third and final stage. It started off well, but as the boss’s rage intensified, so did it’s attack speed. You both took a few good hits, your health bar depleting rapidly. Your helper still had a good three-quarters of their health to spare, and enough mana to cast one spell. The boss only had about a quarter left on its health bar- two more good hits and it would go down. You unmuted your mic to request a heal from your partner, which they promptly offered. With your health bar restored to half-full, and your mana charged for two attacks, you were finally able to hear the sweet, sweet cries of defeat as you slayed the beast. You jumped out of your chair, raising your fists in the air and letting out a loud “FUCK YESSS! TAKE THAT YOU ONE-EYED SLIMY CUNT” as the game rewarded you with the gorgeous mother-of-pearl armor set you’ve been ogling for months- complete with an iridescent helmet showcasing the monster’s eye. You sent user _doolsetnet a thank you message, and attached a gift containing a couple hundred gold along with a few of the rare armor dyes you had extras of. They responded by shooting you a friend request, which you accepted, and a rare weapon skin you also had your eye on. After logging off for the night, you hopped in the shower, brushed your teeth, crawled into bed with Newt in your arms, and fell asleep.

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The day you moved in was a rough one for Han Jisung. All morning he worked tirelessly, trying to perfect the song he was commissioned to produce for a high-profile client. Each time he finished editing and emailing the file, he was always met with a problem. The beat overpowers the vocals, the guitar is too quiet, the bpm is too fast, too slow- it was impossible to please them with this song, and he was going to absolutely lose it. As a perfectionist, he couldn’t let it go until both him, and the client, were both one-hundred percent satisfied. He was running on about six hours of sleep in the past three days, with a concerning lack of food and over-dependence on coffee, energy drinks, and beer. He could barely rip his focus away from the project long enough to shower and make sure his beloved puppy, Bbama, was still well taken care of.

When the blaring hisses and sharp beeps of the moving trucks breached through the music he was working on, he nearly screamed out the window at them to shut the fuck up, but he still had self control. Honestly, it was his fault for procrastinating even though he knew someone would be moving in across from him today. He tried to drown out the noise for the next hour, and when the trucks pulled out, his focus finally pulled in again. He locked in- diligently toiling away at the project, until two hours later, he had the latest revised version complete. Making sure he took all of his client’s requests into account, he submitted the file and began the waiting game. Anxiously pacing around his apartment and biting his nails for another hour, he received an email notification. He sprinted to his computer, not even bothering to take a seat as his hand hovered over the mouse for a few seconds in anticipation. He slid the cursor over the most recent email in his inbox, squeezing his eyes shut and chanting a quiet “please, please, please..” he clicked the mouse and slowly opened his eyes, scanning the results. “Mr. Han, We always appreciate your hard work, and are nearly content with the song. There are just a few small tweaks we would like to- “MOTHERFUCKER” he threw himself onto his couch and muffled an anguished scream with his pillow. He nearly started bawling due to the overwhelming frustration and crippling exhaustion.

The deadline was tomorrow, and he would have to rework the godforsaken song for the sixteenth and last time. He had to make his next submission perfect- or risk losing one of his most important clients. He peeled himself off the couch, sauntered over to his fridge to grab yet another can of beer, returned to his desk, took a few deep breaths, and got to work. There was one specific part of the song that needed reworked. He began playing the same fifteen seconds repeatedly, closer and closer to losing his sanity as he just could not pick out what was wrong with it. Another ten times- still couldn’t place it. Twenty more times, and then he caught it- at the very end of the segment. His full focus on the next loop, he cranked the volume and listened intently, not even daring to breathe in fear of it disrupting his flow. The last five seconds coming up- this was it.

A loud crash broke his focus, followed by the shrieking howls of an agitated cat. That was his last straw. He slammed his left fist down on his desk, still clutching his beer can in his right hand. Shooting out of his chair he flung open the sliding door and stormed to the edge of his balcony. He started yelling before even thinking, just letting all of his pent-up rage out on whoever his new neighbor was. Once the red-hot fury died down, and he actually saw the unfortunate victim of his outburst, he retreated in embarrassment. She was a girl who looked to be in her early to mid twenties, around the same age as him. Kinda cute too, and he threw his fucking beer can at her! God, what the hell was wrong with him? He wanted to crawl into the fetal position and just disappear forever. Unfortunately for him, though, he still had the grueling obligation of completing his wretched assignment. He stretched, cracked his knuckles, and got to work once more.

A painstaking six hours later, he checked over the email again, to refer to his clients requirements. Making damn sure he remembered EVERYTHING this time, he went through a mental checklist. He listened to the full song one more time, paying close attention to the fifteen second segment he had reworked dozens of times. This time, he had swapped the guitar for a bassy synth to create a break at the end of the pre-chorus, and he honestly felt satisfied with the outcome. He might’ve entered a state of delirium after twenty-four restless, stress filled hours, and slipped into a rather cocky mindset. He was happy with the song at last, and the client would be content with it too. Honestly, they were lucky to have a producer like him working with them. He was a musical genius. After confidently re-submitting the file for the final time, he rolled himself a much-deserved joint. He gave little Bbama all the belly rubs and smooches he had missed the last few days as he made his way to the balcony for a stress-relieving smoke.

Jisung took a few deep drags, feeling increasingly calm with every exhale, until his breath caught in his throat upon noticing you lounging on your balcony straight across from him- seemingly deeply invested in a book. The smoke in his throat burned, launching him into a painful coughing fit. He silently prayed that you wouldn’t notice, and mentally cursed himself when you did- repeating his same harsh words to you earlier, absolutely dripping with sass. He threw back a half-assed reply, wishing he could’ve put more effort into it, and was rewarded with a nonchalant eye-roll. Oh, it was game-over for him now. One thing Jisung could never control himself around, was a person who simultaneously gave off the vibes of a dom, while exuding just the perfect amount of brattiness- just enough for him to want to mercilessly fuck the attitude out of.

He decided right then and there to “test your limits”- so to speak. He dialed up his buddy Felix, making sure to greet him as loudly and obnoxiously as he could possibly muster. Only to be met with disappointment, as you just sighed and closed your book, withdrawing back into your living space. Maybe he jumped the gun- and assumed too much too soon? Oh well, he’d have plenty more chances to get a rise out of you, and began plotting his next move as he continued his conversation with Felix. When you returned wearing headphones, and sat back down to resume your book- completely ignoring him, he immediately felt his dick tightening against his pants, begging to be freed. He didn’t have you all wrong- quite the contrary. He had you just right, and the little bit of tantalizing cleavage your tank top revealed to him was the perfect tease, your breasts slightly squeezing together with every page you turned.

He attempted to mess with you a little more, even bringing out his guitar, in the hopes of disrupting your reading just enough to prompt an annoyed outburst. (And maybe even impressing you a little bit with his skills). When you once again retreated inside, and didn’t return, he figured you just went to bed this time. It was like all of his pent-up frustration throughout the week sent itself straight to his manhood. He was throbbing as he fell back on his couch, palming himself over his jeans. He had to use his imagination, having only his limited view of your cleavage to work with, but that wasn’t a problem for him.

You were straddling his lap on his couch, plush thighs squeezing either side of his as you slowly and tortuously ground yourself against his aching length. In this scenario, you had caught him sneaking a peek at you through the window and stormed over, angrily knocking on his door to confront him. You were yelling at him with your arms crossed, squeezing your tits together and giving him the perfect view. -He finally released himself from his denim prison, wrapping his hand around his thick, hard length, and letting out a sigh- When you noticed where he was staring, and looked down to see the prominent bulge in his pants, you forcefully pushed him down on the couch, climbing on top of him. Yanking the nape of his curly hair, you compelled him to look up at you, chastising him for being a dirty pervert. “You disgusting piece of shit- can’t even be scolded by a woman without getting yourself all hot and bothered.” You spat at him as he let out a whimper. “How pathetic” the way you breathlessly enunciated that word had him fisting his angry cock furiously, thighs twitching and breaths panting as he felt his chest tighten. He was so close already- probably due to his lack of jerking off for the past few days.

When you crept your hand up his chest and around his throat, harshly squeezing your fingers around it, he came. All over his hand, shirt, pants, couch, and even spilling a few drops onto his floor. He can’t even remember the last time he came this hard- it was probably one of the first times he ever masturbated. He didn’t even get to the best part in his scenario, the part where he takes over, flipping you onto your back and burying his face between your legs, eating you out like you’re his last meal while you’re whining and begging him to take you, as you release all over his fingers and face. He felt himself twitch, and looked down in disbelief to be met with yet another raging boner. God, the things you did to him, and you didn’t even know him, or his name. It just made the whole thing that much hotter. He’ll make sure you’ll find out soon, though, so the you in his fantasies can scream it for him.

After cleaning up his mess, and slipping into a clean pair of sweatpants, he made his way over to his fridge, and grabbed himself a cup of water. Chugging it down to soothe his dry throat, he glanced out the window- his eyes falling on you. You were wearing nothing but a large t-shirt, barely covering the curve of your ass, as you leaned over your kitchen counter. Sipping on a mug in one hand and scrolling on your phone in another, you were unknowingly giving him some quality material to work with. He made sure to engrain that image of you in his mind, taking note of every detail of your legs, including your tattoos, for next time.

The next morning, after getting a few hours of sleep and clearing his brain fog, he was mortified to say the least. He made himself out to be a complete asshole to his new (hot) neighbor, and immediately proceeded to ferociously pump himself dry to his imagination of said neighbor. Embarrassed was an understatement. He groaned as he got out of bed, heading into the bathroom to brush his teeth. As he refilled Bbama’s food and water dishes, he decided he should apologize to you for his rude behavior.

A little while later, he found himself standing outside your door, preparing his fist to knock. As he heard your footsteps nearing increasingly closer, he panicked and made a beeline to the end of the hallway, tucking himself around the corner. He caught his breath, noticing you exiting your unit and heading down the stairs. He was startled by his phone buzzing, pulling it out of his pocket to read a text from Minho. “Get your ass over here NOW. I know you haven’t eaten well in days and I’m preparing some bulgogi.” He honestly didn’t even notice just how hungry he was, being too distracted by this work, and- well, you, to care. He pulled himself up and made his way over to Minho’s.

He immediately flopped down on the couch in the study after greeting his friends. They knew him- and his current work dilemma, well enough to understand he didn’t have the energy for socializing until he got a good rest, so that’s exactly what he proceeded to do. Seungmin kicked open the door when their meal was ready, jolting Jisung awake. He drug his feet to the kitchen, joining Minho, Changbin, Hyunjin, and Suengmin at the table and taking his seat. While quite literally stuffing his mouth, he listened to his friends converse and argue, adding in a few comments muffled by the food stored in his cheeks. His interest piqued when Changbin mentioned the girl that came by, turning to Minho and sending him a puzzled look. Since when does Minho invite girls over? His older friend noticed his expression, and responded by explaining that Felix had brought her over because she was on the hunt for cat grass. “I can’t deny though, she was just my type. I’ll have to ask Felix if he got her number.” Hyunjin piped up, wiggling his eyebrows.

Seungmin shot him a side-eye, pinching his arm and causing the other to yelp while chastising him for his fuckboy attitude. Jisung on the other hand, was intrigued- asking Hyunjin to describe her appearance, practically begging, honestly. Who could blame him? He was currently down bad- astronomically, even. After listening to Hyunjin’s description, agreeing that she did, in fact, seem very attractive, he rewarded his friend with a description of the goddess that had just moved in next door to him. Hyunjin was practically drooling as he described her perky tits and thick, tattoo-adorned thighs in great detail, prompting Seungmin to manually shut his jaw. “No more horny talk over the meal I slaved away at all day, to prepare for you ungrateful degenerates!” Minho shouted, bringing the conversation to an abrupt halt. After finishing the perfectly-cooked bulgogi and cleaning up after themselves, Jisung walked home, with Hyunjin in tow, begging him to let him crash at his place. Hyunjin lived only a block away from him, so he knew the only reason was so his friend could get a look at you. Cursing himself for his overly-enthusiastic recounting of your gorgeous body- only having seen the lower half so far, he pushed Hyunjin towards the opposite end of the fork dividing the paths between both of their residences.

When he returned home, he cracked open a can of beer, bringing it to his lips as he looked out his window, once again catching a glimpse of you. He quite literally spit out the liquid he was holding in his mouth, as his gaze was met with your ass pointed directly towards him, your back arched towards the floor, and arms outstretched while you contorted your body into what seemed to be a yoga pose. He silently praised whatever god might exist for you leaving your curtains open, and wearing the shortest compression shorts, as he stared- dumbfounded. He could literally see the outline of your pussy, leaving barely anything to his imagination. He wasn’t proud of it at all, but simply his memory would not suffice. He just had to snap a pic. He laid down on his bed as he pulled down the waistband of his joggers. Staring at his new favorite picture,

He began to slowly stroke himself as his imagination ran wild.

This time, you were doing yoga on your balcony when you caught him staring. You didn’t seem mad, quite the opposite, however, as he watched you sit down and part your legs, not breaking eye contact as you shoved your fingers in your mouth, slowly sucking on them. He watched you leisurely trail your other hand down your chest, squeezing your right breast, and releasing a pretty moan muffled by your fingers as you grazed over your nipple. He wondered how your moans would really sound. Would they be as needy as he’s picturing them right now? He hoped he would get the chance to find out. He imagined you releasing your spit-covered hand from your mouth, placing it on your inner thigh and leaving wet trails as it inched further and further to your puffy cunt, obstructed by your tight compression shorts. Still not breaking eye contact with him, you slid the garment to the side, as well as the tiny red thong you wore underneath in his fantasy. Giving him a mouth-watering view of your dripping heat, you plunged two fingers in, gasping at the feeling of fullness. You closed your eyes as you slowly pumped in and out, letting the quietest whimpers grace his ears. You lifted your head and offered him a sexy smirk, beckoning him to “come here” with your two glistening fingers. He brought his hand to his mouth, spitting into it and resuming its position wrapped around his needy cock. The added lubrication allowed him to increase his pace- still careful not to go too fast and risk missing out on the best parts of his scenario again.

He started to let out a few breathy whines as he imagined himself knocking on your door. You answered quickly, grabbing him by his shirt and pulling him in before closing the door, and leading him to your bedroom. He kicked off his shoes somewhere along the way, and you sat on the edge of your bed, instructing him to kneel on the floor between your thighs. He trailed sloppy, open mouthed kisses up your inner thighs as you tangled your hand in his curls. He broke away to remove your shorts and thong, giving him a clear view of your arousal. He caught a whiff of your sweet scent, flattening his tongue and slowly lapping up towards your clit. You responded by pulling on his hair and grinding yourself against his face, causing him to release a deep moan, the vibration had you shuttering against him. He slipped his ring finger in, the cold metal of his ring contrasting with the warmth of your walls caused your eyes to roll back. You let out a loud moan as his middle finger joined the other inside you, relishing in the juxtaposition of slight pain and pleasure, as he stretched you out. You used his fingers to fuck yourself towards him, allowing his undivided attention to focus on sucking and circling your clit. This had you absolutely reeling, crushing his head between your thighs and coming undone, rewarding him with the most filthy, sinful, screams as his face was coated with your sweet nectar. He looked up at you as he sensually plunged his fingers into his mouth, licking up your release, and groaning at the taste. Your eyes glistened as he stood up, looking down at you as you returned his gaze through your lashes. You lowered your focus to the tent in his sweatpants, taking in the perfect outline of his curvature as you parted your legs and begged- no, pleaded with him to fuck you. You promised you’d be good for him, make him feel good, let him use you. The incoherent mumbling faltered as he sandwiched himself between your legs, and pulled his waistband down- his hard, leaking dick slapping against your abdomen. He hoisted your legs over his shoulders, keeping a strong grip on them as he finally plunged himself deep into your soaked cunt. He allowed you to adjust yourself to the stretch, choking out a guttural groan and a “fuck.. noona!” (He has no idea how old you are, he just has a little bit of a fixation on the idea of you being slightly older than him. He’ll unpack that another time.) As he imagined feeling you clench around him- and he felt his cock twitch violently in his hand- he blew his load all over himself, feeling the warm liquid coating his fingers and abs.

Panting heavily, he still couldn’t look away from his phone in his grip, displaying the picture he took of you. He wanted -needed- to know what it was like to see you up close in the same position. After taking a few moments to collect himself, he walked past his window on the way to the fridge. Seeing you sitting in front of your computer, back tensed in what appeared to be frustration, he tried to maneuver his vision around you to get a peek at what you were working on. He figured you were an artist, as you had all kinds of equipment set up around your living room- canvases, easels, and a cart full of what appeared to be paintbrushes and paints. He wanted to see if you were working on a digital art piece, and nearly came in his pants when he finally caught a view of your computer, instantly recognizing the images on your screen. You weren’t working on art, you were playing Miroh- his current favorite MMORPG. He opened his phone camera and zoomed in to try to get a better view of the game. Adrenaline surged in his chest as he saw the familiar Octo-Cyclops he has beaten countless times. In fact, he helped many players through that dungeon in the Miroh discord server he was an active member in. This was his time to shine. He captured a picture of your screen, hoping to make out your username. Sure enough, it was legible.

He practically sprinted to his computer and logged into the game, quickly typing in your tag and requesting to join your party, which you immediately accepted. He got to work preparing his inventory and chuckled to himself when you sent him a cute emote to thank him in advance for helping. At the third stage of the boss fight, he was playing defensively- letting you take the brunt of most of the attacks while he conserved his mana for a healing spell. As he watched your health bar start to deplete, he was preparing to heal you when you unmuted to beg him for help in the sweetest voice. He smirked as he released the spell, effectively restoring your health and mana, allowing you to fire off your last two attacks, defeating the boss. He smiled to himself as he heard your sailor-mouthed victory chant. Browsing his inventory for his rarest extra weapon skin, he attached it to the friend request he sent you before logging off and heading to bed. He was overflowing with pride with himself for being able to send you a nice gesture, even if it was anonymously.

[notsoverymerry]

lucky trip (k.ys x reader)

<kang yeosang x fem!reader> summary: On a particularly tiring work trip, you're forced to share a room with Yeosang; only there seems to be a problem with your sleeping arrangement… genre/warnings: smut, fluff, friends to lovers, use of pet names a/n: sure let me know anything you want! don't hold back, bby < 3 word count ~3.3k

KQ Entertainment greeted you with a piece of great news this morning. There's going to be a trip to Sokcho Beach to film a show segment. Two days and one night, and you can try yourself out as a camera operator.

Starting out in college, you weren't so sure you'd make it. Sound and video equipment is great; you always wanted to be the one in charge of setting it and making sure it works properly. Really, it's a perfect job that allows you to use your brain, and you've got a great one at that, and provides room for creativity and exploring hobbies in a workplace. You're curious about how they do weather reports and want to keep up with sports? Try to secure a place in a news studio. Want to go to concerts for free? Welcome to the venue setting-up team. Come to think of it, you'll see a show free of charge, and they'll pay you for it. Isn't is a dream come true? Working for an entertainment company was not something you expected to pick, yet it proved to be the right choice. Sure, it took a while before your company got rich enough to grant a decent, steady salary, but the results were worth it. The team was full of talented, ambitious people, and the tight setting laid out a path for you to become a true found family. You and other staff members cared deeply for each other, always ready to offer a piece of advice or listen to your problems. The band members, Ateez, were also sweet and kind, treating staff respectfully and being friendly overall. So, when you were picked for a short working trip, you felt excitement. You're going to be surrounded by friends, you're going to do your best to help create entertaining content for fans, and you're going to see a part of Korea you haven't visited before. Win-win, win. Bonus points if there's food you didn't try yet. The ride on the bus was a little less chaotic than you expected. At first, things were pretty usual: Ateez bickered and made jokes, and you and your team laughed, sometimes awkwardly. Despite the elevated mood all were in, bad traffic and members' exhaustion got the best of them. Hongjoong was the first to fall asleep, others following suit quickly. Sat closest to them, you turned the camera off for the remainder of the ride. Now you could admire Yeosang's sleeping frame and get some rest as well. Oh, he was just so beautiful, so peaceful like this. He caught your attention first. He was so polite and sweet, and a little clumsy. When everyone was on the brink of mental breakdown before their debut, he used to stride nervously around the building, bumping into you with enviable regularity. He nearly broke your DI and stage box unit, and thus, your conversation started. You weren't mad, you get it he was stressed, and he was thankful. Like that, a friendship blossomed. During breaks, he'd ask you about your week or if you finished that show you were into. You'd ask how their recent choreo's coming together or if he'd finally discovered a new favorite dish. You'd blabber something about new lighting or broken audio cables, and he'd always pick fried chicken over anything. You found him delightful. He found that he didn't care that much about cables, but still wanted to listen to you anyway. You're really passionate about your job. Your eyes sparkle when he comments on the sound being set just right for his earpiece. You can make puns about your gadgets all day long, and if Wooyoung rolls his eyes at the third one, Yeosang considers them actually funny (are they?). You're just so vibrant and so pretty, and he wants to be around you longer. Maybe he should learn to set up and help you. He thinks it could be a good idea. Maybe he should just ask you out on a date. Seonghwa thinks this idea is better.

It took about nine hours to film the first part of the show. You tried to set things up as fast as possible. Hopefully, by the end of it, you won't be completely spent. You really want to take some time to walk around; take in the scenery, breathe fresh air, and reflect on life. The beach is wide and clean; the guide said there'll be illumination until late at night, it'll probably look really nice. The water is very clear, almost looks like a pool. You just want to admire the view without needing to control the picture frame or panic that someone might get hurt. Work-free, beer in hand, ocean gazing. What could be better?  Ocean gazing with Yeosang, probably. The whole crew settled down to have a quiet one at the end of the shift. Ateez seemed to have woken up completely, now lively chatting amongst themselves, waiting for you to put the rest of the equipment away for the night. Fresh air and cold beer will do that to you. You can feel eyes linger on your busy form. Turning around, you're met with his dark eyes. He follows your movement, not realizing that he's been caught until getting nudged in his side. Oh, now he's going to be teased the whole night. ''Wanna join them? You did great today, y/n, go have some fun.'' Your colleague tries to send you off.  You like to imagine you're smooth and nonchalant about your crush on a young and very attractive singer. Your friends, though, would use other words to describe it. What is it, let's see… Tangible? Painfully obvious? Yeah, that's the one. So they try time and time again to encourage you to confess. They leave you two in the room under a variety of excuses and give you tasks that would force you to go up to him unnecessarily often. Their efforts seem to go around both of your heads. You and Yeosang like to call yourselves very good friends. Everyone around you likes to call you fools. Just so you know.  ''It's okay. I think it's time we head to the hotel. Still plenty of work tomorrow, let's get some sleep.'' ''Yeah, about that…'' You do not like the sound of that. ''We might have got the number of rooms wrong.'' What's that supposed to mean? You're not sure you understand where this conversation is going. How can you even get the number of rooms wrong?

''Wait. No, no.'' ''Yes, you're sharing a room with Yeosang, yes.'' She sounds apologetic, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes, per se. ''He knows and he's okay with it!'' How did your sweet evening at the beach turn into a full-scale anxiety fair so fast? Of course he'd agree to share a room; he's way too nice. You should do a breathing exercise. It's just one night, and you're both tired, and you both have to get up early, so surely you will sleep. Just sleep. Nothing unusual, you'll wash up and get in bed. Yeah. You shouldn't worry about it. He probably doesn't even think of it much. Oh, god, what if you snore? With your heart beating out of your chest and your head heavy with thoughts, you got to your designated room at last. 

You don't know how much time you spent at the door, but you couldn't find the courage to enter. Maybe you'll be lucky and he'll already be asleep.  ''Oh, y/n!'' Well, shit. ''What are you doing? Did you forget your key?'' ''Yeosang! No, I was just waiting for you. To enter, you know?'' ''Such an intricate moment. I'm glad you want to experience it with me.'' Y/n.exe has stopped working. Did he mean it? You should ask what he means; you do not need misunderstandings, not with him.  But out comes, ''More like I want you to enter first to see if there's any entities present.''  Hu chuckles and reaches in his pocket for the key. The thing that comes next is something you were definitely not prepared for. You shared rooms with your friends before. The number of beds equals the number of people, right? Not today. A minute of silence hung in the air, and Yeosang let out a breath of confusion. ''Why— why are there so many beds in here?'' He asked, bewildered. 

In a relatively small room stood four twin beds. Adorned with— you do not care about artistic interior description right now. Four beds. Did you and Yeosang both get the room number wrong? You giggle. You don't know why.  ''I'm calling dibs on this one,'' you say, as you flop down on one of the beds near the window. The view is nice; you can see the waves a little afar, but you can't hear them from here. Yeosang settles on another bed by the window. You guide your eyes his way to find him already looking at you. You feel soft. Seen and appreciated. He can't just do that — to look at you like you're everything he's ever wanted. It's ufair. A soft smile is tugging on his lips, cheeks and neck tinted pink from alcohol. Suddenly, he errupts in a fit of laughter.  ''What's so funny?'' you inquire. ''We have four beds! Just for the two of us. And you're beautiful. Gosh, y/n, you're so beautiful and pretty and amazing…'' He's blabbering rather happily. It takes a moment to register what he said. You're beautiful… And it's funny. No, you don't get this man. Watching your face now very carefully, Yeosang reaches his hand for you. Too far. He can't touch you, and he's disappointed, and it shows.  ''Wanna touch you,'' he pouts. It sounds much less happy and way more needy than he had planned.  Your body moves on its own. There's an unexplainable gravity force that pulls it on his bed, a little too close for a friendship. His hands cup your face, and he sighs, relived. He wanted to feel your warmth for so long. Seeing how compliant you are, how there seems to be no hesitation in letting him near and into your personal space, and how content you look in his presence, he doesn't understand why he's never done it before. ''Yeosang,'' your voice is quiet, almost a whisper. ''What are you doing?''

He doesn't know. So, instead of answering his lips do something better. They touch yours. You can't believe it's happening. The moment your lips meet, he nearly moans. You feel so good. The kiss is head-spinning; it knocks the breath right out of your chests. He presses into you with demand, hands circling your waist to bring you closer. You don't want this moment to end. Yeosang is holding you in his arms like you'd disappear if he let go. Heat waves pulsate through your body; the way his hands linger on you makes wetness drip down your folds. You hug him back, clinging onto his hoodie like a lifeline. The room feels colder all of a sudden, and Yeosang thinks he can't let go of your hot form now. So he turns on the mattress a little and fumbles around so he can bring you to his lap. He brings your faces close once more, this time it's more heated, it's teeth and tongue and desperation. You feel his growing excitement press over your core. His mouth leaves yours to discover your neck is so sensitive for him. He's had a bit of beer, but it's your soft whimpers and mewls that get him really drunk. His hand slithers to grab and squeeze your ass. The sounds you're making are angelic, and your hands weave through his hair to tug at his strands, and it's just so right, he can't help thrusting into you.  ''Is this okay, y/n? Hmm?'' He breathes out, face back up to level with you, and his lips brush your cheek.  You nod; it takes all your brain capacity to let him know you want it too — forming words became a heavy task. Your confirmation is all he needs to lift you up and change positions, now hovering over you. He looks at you again, with shining eyes. A bit disheveled, hot, and bothered. He pushes your hair out of your face tenderly. This small action causes your heart to contract. Paitience wearing thin, you draw him back to you. 

''Do you have protection?'' ''Ye- yes, it's in my bag somewhere.'' You feel a cold prick at your skin when he stands up to roam in his belongings for a condom. It's lonely like this. All the other beds abandoned in the room must feel like icebergs, their covers rimy and uninviting. The second he's back on top of you is like a sunrise, you think. There's another kiss, the I'm sorry I had to leave kiss. He works on taking your top off. Exposed to his advances, your chest and collarbones get all the attention. His knee is between your legs, and when he bites your tender skin, you start to grind. He follows suit, now both of you groaning, trying to get rid of the rest of your clothes in a hurry.  There's plenty of great pleasures in the world, but nothing compares to the feeling of his skin on yours. To have him roam and clutch on your body everywhere he wants. You can't wait anymore; you want him, so you lean to kiss his neck up to his ear, tugging on his earlobe with your teeth. His little whimper trickles like honey down your legs. He can't seem to take his hands off you. Calling his name in a whine, your lips form a pout.  ''Please, Yeosang. I need you.'' ''I am right here, baby. It's alright, I'll take care of you.'' The nickname makes you clench around nothing. The friction that felt so good is gone; he moves his thigh away a bit so he can put on a condom. Yeosang thinks you look unreal. He wants to take his time exploring your body with his tongue, wants to mark you all over. Claim you so everyone knows. He'd spend hours eating you out, making you see stars behind your eyelids, and cry his name. He knows he can treat you right, the way you deserve to be treated. But he's so hard it almost hurts, and you look hurt he moved away from you at all. How can he ever leave his baby, even at an arm-length? So he rushes to your form and grabs your legs from under your thighs to yank you to him. You're mesmirised. You'd never think you wanted to be manhandled. But it's him, Yeosang, and it's so, so hot. His toned body glistens in the dim light coming from the window. Touching him is like heaven on earth, his muscules are tense under your fingers, and delicious sounds escape his throat. He pushes in slowly, savoring every emotion on your face. You are in bliss, hips start bucking onto him. ''Slowly, baby, I'm not going anywhere,'' Yeosang coos. 

He trusts steadily, drinking up every moan and breath you make. His own pleasure escapes him in the form of small grunts, making goosebumps run around your body. He ravishes your bare chest and collarbones in kisses and licks, wanting to mark you so badly. You are so tight and warm, your nails dig into his back, and he loses himself in the feelings completely. He speeds up and finally lets his teeth sink into the dip where your shoulder and neck meet. You mewl at the sensation; your wals flutter around his shaft.  ''What a nice little sound, baby. I think I'll bite there again.'' If your eyes didn't shut at all the pleasure he's giving you, he'd see endless dark pools your pupils turned into. All for him. Though his eyes were just the same. His lust takes over him more and more, thrusts getting deeper and harder. The way you pull at his hair lets him know you're enjoying yourself, too. The room is filled with wet sounds, skin slapping against skin, and your moans getting louder. Both of you won't last much longer.  You're a hot mess, stuttering pleas and praises and his name like a mantra. His voice is deep and full of relish, you want to record it, keep it all to yourself, and listen to it twenty-four seven. You feel so proud for making him feel this good. Your orgasm washes over like a tidal wave. It builds inside and makes you clench around Yeosang, nails leaving marks on his back. He stares at your face contorted in pleasure, feeling that impossible tightness bring him closer to his own high. ''That's good, baby, keep doing that, oh, god—'' He pulls you close so your body is pressed against his own. His hips stilling, he spills inside the condom with a groan. He's never felt so good.

Neither of you move for a moment. You need to catch your breath, and you just don't want to let go of him. Reluctantly, he tears himself off of you to clean the both of you a little. Settling into the sheets with you, he sighs and wraps his arms around you again. Your voice breaks the comfortable silence of your afterglow.  ''That was… amazing. The best sex I've had. I— I don't know how I'm gonna look you in the eyes tomorrow.'' ''Oh…'' Comes his reply. He didn't think about that. Honestly, he didn't think at all, you kind of overtook all regions of his brain. Probably even before this night.  ''I— Listen, y/n, I didn't want to do it this way. Truth is, I really like you… Shit, it probably is the worst time to ask and the worst confession you've ever heard in your life, but'' he sighs again, and there's a hint of nervousness in the way his fingers trace patterns on your arm irratically. ''Go out with me?''  He looks at you with those big, pleading eyes, lip stuck between his teeth in anticipation. Who ever told him he could pass as a doberman? ''Yeah, okay, I'll go out with you,'' you're trying to be smooth. Is it working? ''Really? Great!''  Good thing Yeosang doesn't care if you're smooth in the slightest. 

The next day starts off with a headache and a violent impulse to sleep in. If only you weren't stuck in the hotel with your colleagues. Surprisingly, Yeosang and you make it through the day without a trace of awkwardness or tension, keeping things professional and conversations light. The team is too busy working to tease you. The boys in Ateez also seem rested, even more energetic than the day before. Take the captain away from the studio to a nice beach… and he actually sleeps, huh.  On the ride back, you get a text from Yeosang asking when you're going to be free to go on a date. Your giddiness does not go unnoticed. Just then your friends decide to ask if there were any complications in your sleeping arrangement, a mischevous twinkle dances in their eyes. Time to get back at them.  ''Not at all! Our room was quite nice, and the view was great. We had four beds all to ourselves. Right, Mr. Kang?'' He offers a polite smile and nods at you and several curious sets of eyes turned his way. You're the only one to notice his eyes dart to your lips for a split second.  ''You had… four beds..?'' Your staff friends seem confused. They definitely had a different idea in mind. Hongjoong seems weirdly offended. ''Oh, so you get four beds, and I have to endure Seonghwa drooling on my arm all night?'' You definitely got the wrong room. Good for you. 

[dancinglikebutterflywings]

Family No Matter What | Bang Chan

-> Pairing: Bang Chan x Single!Mom Reader

-> Request: from anon

-> Synopsis: Chan didn't expect to find his family on a flight back to Korea.

-> Warnings: Mentions of an absent father.

-> Word Count: 1,023

-> Requests: Open until 31st June 11:59pm

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Chan is on the plane heading back to Korea after spending time with his family. He starts to unwind after the plane takes off, when he suddenly hears a soft whimper nearby. As he opens his eyes, he notices a mother and her baby sitting next to him. The mother appears exhausted and overwhelmed and is desperately trying to calm the baby before he starts crying. Instead of being annoyed, Chan's heart immediately softens at the sight and he does what he can to capture the baby's attention.  

Once he has the baby's attention, the baby's cries start to subside. Chan starts playing peek-a-boo and making silly faces with the little one. The little boy starts to giggle and clap his little chubby hands, causing Chan's heart to completely melt into a puddle of goo.  

The mother looks at him with gratitude in her eyes, silently thanking him for his help and kindness. As the flight continues, Chan continues to entertain the baby, until he falls asleep. 

The mother relaxes as she sees her baby fast asleep, his little fist clutching her shirt.  

"Thank you so much," she says turning to look at Chan. "This is his first flight. I had prepared for him to be grizzley and unsettled." 

"I'm glad I got to help," he smiles. "I'm Chan or you can call me Chris." 

"I'm Y/N and this little guy is Haneul," she introduces. 

Chan and Y/N engage in casual conversation while baby Haneul peacefully sleeps. Y/N reveals that she is a single mother, as Haneul's father left before his birth. It has been just the two of them since Haneul came into the world 9 months ago. Y/N also shares that she was in Australia visiting family whom Haneul hadn't met until this trip. Half way through the flight, to give Y/N's arms a break, Chan even offers to hold Haneul for a while. Haneul remains asleep until the plane touches down on the tarmac.  

After the plane lands, Chan stays behind to help Y/N with her luggage, offering his assistance. Although he offers her a ride, Y/N assures him that her sister will be picking her up. Y/N once again expresses her gratitude for his kindness and company, to which Chan waves it off, happy to have been able to help. 

Spotting her sister as they leave the luggage claim, she waves to her older sibling before turning to Chan one last time. "If it's okay, I'd like to buy you a coffee sometime, when you're free of course." 

 "I would love that," he smiles. 

"Great!" she exclaims, her face lighting up as she looks relieved.  

Chan takes out his phone and unlocks it. They exchange phone numbers and part ways with Chan promising to text her as soon as he finds out when he’s got some free time. 

 3 YEARS LATER:  

"Chris? Haneul?" Y/N questions as she enters their home finding the lights off and no one seemingly home. She’s just gotten home from spending the day with her sister, getting the full spa treatment and getting her nails and hair done. After hanging her handbag on the hook and removing her shoes, she walks further into the house. 

Upon entering the living room, she switches on the light and is completely taken aback by what she sees in front of her. Her boyfriend and their son are dressed in their finest attire, surrounded by a beautiful arrangement of rose petals in the shape of a heart. To her astonishment, Haneul, who is now almost 4 years old, is holding a sign that reads, 'please say yes'. 

"What's happening?" she stammers, taken aback.  

That's when Chan takes out a ring box and kneels down. Haneul stands beside him, brimming with excitement. 

"We wanted to make this moment special for you," Chan says looking at Haneul before looking back at her, his voice filled with emotion. "I love you more than anything in this world, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?" 

Tears well up in her eyes as she looks at the two most important people in her life, her heart overflowing with love and joy. 

“Say yes, Eomma!” Haneul shouts before she can answer. "Say yes so he can be my Appa!" 

She takes a deep breath and looks into Chan's eyes, her own filled with love. With a trembling voice, she lowers herself to their level, cupping Chan’s face in her hands and whispers, "Yes, Chan. I will marry you." 

Chan's eyes light up with happiness. He pulls her into a tight embrace, tears of joy running down his face. Haneul jumps up and down with excitement, knowing that they are now becoming an actual family.  

Letting go of each other, Chan kisses her, slipping the ring on to her finger before pulling apart again to bring Haneul in for a family group hug. Y/N kisses the top of her sons head.  

After a moment, they young family pull apart. Y/N takes her sons hands into her own and looks him in the eyes. "You know we've always been a real family right?"  

He nods, but his eyes betray him. Y/N and Chan have always been honest with him about everything including Chan not being his biological father, especially after all the rumours that started after Y/N and Chan started dating. Even though he would only be four in a few months' time and couldn’t really understand what was being said, they thought it would be best, if he knew the truth from the start instead of questioning all the rumours as he grows older. 

Chan also notices the uncertainty in Haneul's eyes and gently squeezes his hand, reassuring him. "No matter what anyone says, you and your eomma have always been my family, and nothing will ever change that. You're my son and I'm your Appa." 

Haneul's doubt slowly fades away, replaced by a radiant smile. He wraps his small arms around both Y/N and Chan. 

"I love you both so much," Chan continues, his voice filled with pure happiness as he embraces his family once more. 

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[andy-wm]

Please love me is Jimin's line today

The hardest few seconds for me to watch, were these...

Jimin was absolutely dreading appearing on screen without his trademark beautiful hair.

We know he left it as late as he could and didn't want to show anyone.

He looked like he was barely holding it together when he called attention to his hair being shaved. He must have genuinely been scared of the reaction he would get, even from Kook.

"It looks good on you"

Jungkook, you absolute fucking LEGEND 💜

He knew exactly what to say.

When Jungkook told Jimin he looked good (even with no hair) Jimin turned his face away <those feels choking him up> and when he turned back, the almost desperate look of gratitude mixed with relief was so clear.

Please love me is Jimin's line today.

This is not about vanity, ego or pride.

It brings home how fragile his confidence is. His need for approval and the assurance of being loved is strong. It’s so heartbreaking, but we know he hasn't had an easy road.**

Thankfully he did stand a little bit taller once JK reassured him...

But it wasn't an easy moment for Jungkook either.

Whether because he had to witness Jimin's fear and could do nothing more than pet his head, or because he was facing his own misgivings (probably both) he looked equally lost in that moment.

Remember that these boys have left their home once before and journeyed to a place that was less than welcoming. They've had to face the grim, disproving faces of unkind critics and a system that didn't support or value them.

I don't doubt there were echoes of that feeling on this day, that same sense of trepidation they've known before.

We know how the military treats men like them.

And then...

we got this:

You can take the boy out of Busan but you can't take Busan out of the boy.

(People say this about my home town too...)

The shadow of fear is still there in his eyes but.... he looks like a (very hot) backstreet thug who will absolutely fuck you up no questions asked.

It does occur to me that MS might be the reason Jimin has been learning to fight.

I mean really learning to fight.

Yes he's probably doing boxing too but i suspect something more than that ... you shouldn't get torn knuckles from boxing lessons unless you aren't wrapping your hands properly, just saying.

<Gotta love a person who can hold you and cradle your head, and also knock down an aggressor when they have to.>

If all else fails (words before fists, right?) I hope he can handle himself.

If he must defend himself, and someone (not him) looks like they've had a close encounter with his fists, I saw nothing.

I hope for both of them, their background will serve them well. In any case they will support one another and their love will see them through this. It's exactly why they are enlisting as companions.

🐰🐥

This is no easy journey, for these young men (all seven of them) or for their families, their friends, and their loved ones. Yes, it's reality of life for every person in Korea, but that doesn't make it easier when it's YOU or YOUR person who is going away.

I am seeing them off with an in ache in my chest - I know we all are. But I'm toasting their successful military service, and their quick return.

짠 지민아, 정국이! We love you 💜💛

See you soon, Angels.

** 'Hurry up and be me soon' ...

Some of us know how much it costs to put our authentic self out into the world. The sacrifices you have to be willing to make are huge. You're not only exposing your own vulnerabilities, but the flow on effect for your family and friends is real.

<talking specifically about Jimin here... how many times do you think his parents will have to say 'no, Jimin doesnt have a girlfriend, and no he isn't looking for one... No he doesn't plan to marry'.>

It's a long journey to self love and acceptance...

We know Jimin has been through a number of iterations of himself. He's been through the tough guy phase, the closed book, the siren, aloof and sophisticated, and the gently feminine.

The image he presents to the world is as much a construct as any person's is - and whether you're aware of this or not, all our public selves are social constructs.

"One size does not fit all" for queer people

For cis gendered heterosexual people, society has a few different ready-made constructs you can adopt, and the rest of society automatically understands the message you're sending. Most of them maintain the status quo of heterosexual cultural norms.

For anyone who DOESNT fit those norms, it's honestly never going to feel good expressing an image that isnt really you. Its like trying and make your circle self fit in a square box.

But theres nothing else that's readily available...

You really have to construct your public image from scratch.

When you aren't part of that typical demographic, figuring out how you want to be seen by the world can be an arduous and complex process.

How much do you reveal? How much do you risk?

You'll experiment with styles, behaviours, and social groups until you find a safe space you can occupy.

Jimin's safe space is with ARMY or his members, but it requires looking perfect.

Think about Jimin's hesitance to appear on camera without makeup. How carefully he chooses his clothes - whether for airport appearances, stage performance or out on the street. He usually has a team of people making sure he looks perfect. His hair is a trademark feature. It's always beautiful.

Remember that he's used to EVERYONE LOOKING AT HIM, ALL THE TIME.

Imagine how it feels to go out in public - against your will - with a shaved head.

Without hair, he would have surely felt naked. Plus, he's no longer in the safe embrace of ARMY, and his buffer of security and managers keeping him out of danger is gone.

He's immensely famous, but not universally loved (don't even go there) and bald, and small, and an IDOL, and very gay ... lets go with unlikely to be heterosexual.

No wonder he was feeling vulnerable.

Ngl, it broke my heart to see him so afraid but I'm sure he'll have a substantial group of supporters around him. I can only hope.

💜💛

[wen-kexing-apologist]

What are your top 5 “oh” moments. Like the moment that a character realizes that they are in love or that they realize another character is in love with them. ❤️

Ooo I love this question, and naturally the second I am presented with it I forget every single ‘oh’ moment that exists in all of media. And also I have watched too much of media so I forget a lot of things. I’m going to stick to BL because I didn’t really watch a lot of romance stuff before I found this genre and it’s fresher in my memory. 

Pat in Bad Buddy 

gif by @nick-nellson

My absolute favorite thing about the ‘oh’ moment in Bad Buddy for Pat is that Pat is someone that must act immediately. Pat does not sit on his feelings, he doesn’t mull them over, he doesn’t spend any time reflecting. He figures out that he likes Pran and then immediately seeks him out, immediately talks to him about how lonely he was without Pran when Pran transferred schools, immediately tells Pran his feelings. Pat and Pran are such good balances to each other. Pat’s family has always won, Ming has always won, Pat is not punished for interacting with Pran the way that Pran is. So Pran learned to quiet down, to hide, to keep things close to the chest. And he’s been harboring these feelings for Pat for so long without slipping up about it. But because Pat has never really experienced the severe consequences Pran has, he’s open, and honest, and expressive. 

I love love love love LOVE the sigh of relief, the utter bliss and joy that we see on Pat’s face when they pull away from their kiss, and you can tell that to Pat everything makes sense! It’s a relief, he understands his feelings, he’s let Pran know, Pran has responded in kind. And I love love love love LOVE Pran’s reaction to realizing Pat liked him back, the way he sets his jaw before he goes in for the second kiss, the way he can’t let himself have it, the way he knows he essentially signing a death warrant if he allows this for himself and his mother finds out. So he is devastated, he has to walk away from the moment. It’s such a phenomenal execution of an ‘oh’ moment. 

Im Han Tae in Sing My Crush 

gif by @smileytharn

Sing My Crush is probably my favorite offering I’ve seen out of Korea, I love it so much and for so many reasons. I love the level of comfortability and platonic intimacy that we get between Han Ba Ram and Im Han Tae from the jump. Those boys are so comfortable with each other, and though Han Ba Ram is a perpetually suffering homo being cuddled by his unrequited crush, the love and care they have for eachother is so palpable. What I love about the “oh” moment in Sing My Crush is that it really is simultaneously short and sweet and prolonged. In Episode 5, Han Ba Ram confesses his feelings to Im Han Tae, and we get Han Tae’s initial “huh?” reaction, that includes them dropping their held hands, and Han Tae has zero processing time before Ba Ram is telling him he is leaving and then running away. And I love that the second that Ba Ram is out of site and Han Tae has a moment to contemplate, he sits down, and he just stares at his hands. 

AND THEN WE GET THIS BEAUTIFUL MONTAGE THAT JUST REPLAYS ALL OF THESE MOMENTS OF INTIMACY BETWEEN BA RAM AND HAN TAE BUT HAN TAE IS RECONTEXTUALIZING THEM IN REAL TIME TO PROCESS HIS OWN FEELINGS FOR BA RAM. 

And then right after that we just a scene where Han Tae is just dissociating about it until he reaches a point of understanding and comfortabilty with it. And then…

Nothing. 

Han Tae and Ba Ram go right back to interacting like they usually do, and the confession just sits, and Han Tae is touching Ba Ram, is letting Ba Ram wrap his arms around him, is telling Ba Ram to lean on him. Han Tae is showing Ba Ram it is okay, he’s okay with this, at least with knowing that Ba Ram likes him. But Ba Ram is depressed, and he’s been hurt before, and I love the way Han Ba Ram and Im Han Tae are able to work through some of their own feelings in the boxing ring. And Han Ba Ram gets to devastate us all with the:  “Why is it so tiring to like someone? What did I do wrong?” 

Like, we know that Han Tae likes Ba Ram, but then he sits on it for an entire episode, until Ba Ram takes back his confession because of all the shit with that dickhead music teacher. And we get Ba Ram’s “oh, he likes me’ moment an entire episode later. I don’t know, I think it’s lovely. 

Nozue in Old Fashion Cupcake 

gif by @itachis

All I have to say is: Togawa, you poor fucker, I am so sorry for the agonizing torture Nozue unintentionally put you through by calling you hot, offering his body, and going out on dates with him when Nozue didn’t know you had a crush on him. Old Fashion Cupcake is nearly untouchable in it’s ‘oh’ moment. It’s handled so brilliantly, the rise in tension between them, the anxiety just radiating off of Nozue, the way all pretense from Nozue just falls away, the four minute continuous shot! 

Like, truly you when Togawa starts waxing poetic about how he’s got the spark for life because of Nozue and things start to click in to place for Nozue, and I love love love love love the build-up to the kiss, it’s peaceful and they are getting somewhere and then Togoawa gets the phone call and Nozue panics. Nozue starts making increasingly ridiculous, half-hearted, and obvious excuses to get the fuck out of Togawa’s apartment. The way Togawa grabs him? Incredible. But the response from Nozue throughout the kiss? It takes an incredibly strong actor to handle it the way that Nozue did. The utter confusion at the beginning, the gears turning in his head, trying to figure out how he fucking got here, while at the same time kissing back. GOD! So good! So so good!

Kiyoi in Utsukushii Kare, Season 2

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

This is a non-traditional ‘oh’ moment, because it isn’t a “oh i’m in love” or “oh I love him” moment at all. What it is is a “oh I’ve been mistaken” moment that is just absolutely brutal and heartbreaking. There is no doubt whatsoever that Kiyoi is in love with Hira, every fiber of Kiyoi’s being, every cell in that boy’s body loves Hira. But Hira has not loved Kiyoi, he’s been obsessed with Kiyoi, he’s glorified Kiyoi, he’s looked at Kiyoi as a god Hira should worship and serve. The way Yagi Yusei plays the moment that Kiyoi realizes that his understanding of his relationship with Hira is horrifically flawed. The way Kiyoi looks like he’s been slapped the second that Hira admits he isn't sure he wants to understand Kiyoi? It’s brilliant. “I’m sorry I like you” like???????? hello????????? 

Shiro, What Did You Eat Yesterday? Season 2

gif by @my-rose-tinted-glasses

Again not a strictly traditional “oh” moment, because Kenji and Shiro have been in a relationship for eight years at this point, they love each other, even if Shiro is not the kind of person to say it. But man, I just…nothing brought me to tears faster than Shiro’s “oh, he really loves me and I really love him” moment in Season 2 when Kenji runs out to get onions because he threw the old ones out and Shiro needed one to make dinner. The contrast we have had throughout the episode with the flashbacks to Shiro’s last relationship that was extremely one sided and cold, to the bright, colorful, warmth of the current day, with Kenji. I will never recover from the line “I think I’ll use two chicken breasts tonight” while Shiro stands there with tears in his eyes, overwhelmed at the realization that he truly loved and cared for. 

Bonus: Invisible Oh Moment

Uea in Bed Friend

gif by @ueasking

I want to talk about Uea’s “oh” moment in Bed Friend because I don’t think there is any clear “oh” moment. The boy doesn’t run, he doesn’t confess, but there are a couple of points that stood out to me as Uea shifting how he thinks of King, Episode 4 is really the point of change. There are a ton of little moments throughout the episode where you can really see Uea start to soften towards King. We have the first chip in the armor when King [tells Uea he doesn’t deserve to be treated that way after Pock’s assault in the garage], the second chip when King treats his bruises so gently, the third when King brings the birthday cake. You can tell the morning after that Uea is no longer thinking of King as a bed friend, and even more over you get this incredible moment in Episode 6 right after their sex scene where it is so disgustingly obvious that King wants to ask Uea to be his boyfriend and that Uea would say yes without a moment’s hesitation. And that is why I didn’t want to leave it out of the list. Because honestly, I have not seen many shows in 2023 that used sex better than Bed Friend. Every single sexual encounter we got out of KingUea was followed by a shift in their relationship, and in a space where kink is rarely used or used poorly, I think it was vitally important that the kinky sex is what solidified Uea’s feelings for King. 

Bonus Bonus: Uh Oh moment 

Teh in I Told Sunset About You

gif by @mickeysarmyguy

I go absolutely feral for moments where characters finally give in to a desire and then are able to just like, pull the leash back, clamp their feelings down, and walk away. I cannot overstate the level to which I was impacted by the final scene in Episode 3 of ITSAY where Teh is scratching Oh’s back and smelling him. I do not think I breathed through that scene because of how oppressive the tension was between them. But the second that Teh grabbed Oh’s pecs and realized there weren’t breasts there and he just locks all his feelings behind bars is just…I don’t even have words. 

[choidaisy]

where mingyu finds memories of his first girlfriend and decides to send her a message upon realizing she is nearby (part2)

Part 1 here

Four months had passed since the last time Y/N and Mingyu exchanged words over the phone. The sound of his voice, filled with nuances she cherished so much, had eluded her due to the hurried boarding of his flight, depriving her of absorbing every word he longed to share.

During this lapse of time, Mingyu harbored uncertainties about the appropriateness of sending her a message. A part of him yearned to reconnect the loose threads of communication, but the fear of being a bother hung over him like a persistent shadow.

It was on a night shared with some friends from the group, in the warmth of home, that the screen of his phone lit up with a few notifications.

"I'm sorry for taking so long to apologize for ending the call. I just don't know how to deal with it, it's still quite confusing to have talked after so long."

"I must confess that today has been a crappy day. I used to be the most excited person for this date, busy planning the best surprise for you."

"However, nowadays, it's just a lonely day for me, as it has been for the past few years."

"I'm sorry for bringing uncomfortable words on such an important day for you. But it's precisely on this date that I miss you the most."

"Happy birthday. Know that even now, I only wish the best for you in life."

"By the way, I'm in Korea and will be here for a few days. If by any chance we can meet during this time, please let me know."

He suddenly realized that when it came to Y/N, he felt an irresistible urgency to hear her. Text messages weren't enough for him at that moment. He hadn't even paid attention to the words she had written before "I'm in Korea".

He quickly got up and opted for a voice call, anxious, biting his nails as he waited for her to answer. Finally, she picked up the call, apologizing for the message, but before she could explain, he interrupted her.

"Y/N, I need to see you now. The guys are here, but I'm completely willing to ditch them to come to you."

"Mingyu, I don't want you to leave your friends because of me. They're there to celebrate your birthday," she argued.

"Y/N, I don't want to waste any seconds, please. Or join us. What do you think?"

There was a prolonged silence. "Y/N?" he insisted.

"Send me the address," she finally replied.

"REALLY? ARE YOU REALLY COMING?"

"Yes, I'm coming to wish you a happy birthday in person."

The call ended, and Mingyu returned to the room beaming, full of excitement and anticipation. The guys noticed his restlessness and asked what was happening. He replied, smiling, "You're about to be in the presence of the most beautiful woman in the world, so don't you dare stare too much."

His friends still didn't fully understand, just laughing it off.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang, and Mingyu scrambled to get up from the floor, knocking over some bottles and snack packages. However, it didn't matter to him at that moment.

Nervously, he opened the door and was met with a smiling young woman. "Happy birthday, Mingyu."

He brought his hand to his mouth, unbelieving of what he saw. "Is this really happening?"

"It's so crazy, isn't it?" she asked, letting out a little laugh.

Mingyu's heart skipped a beat hearing her laughter, feeling his legs go weak. He simply walked over to her and hugged her tightly, murmuring how much he missed her, to which she replied that she missed him a lot too.

Mingyu invited her inside, introducing her to his friends. Jeonghan, just for the pleasure of teasing Mingyu, commented with a mischievous smile, "You really are right, Mingyu." This earned him a glare from Mingyu. Y/N was a bit confused but smiled warmly at everyone present.

Mingyu promptly helped her out of the warm coat and scarf, guiding her to the coffee table where everyone was gathered. With a delicate gesture, she took out a box she was holding, revealing a cake that brought back memories for Mingyu. They used to celebrate together, sharing a cake on this special date. This time, she brought a pistachio cake, knowing it had always been his favorite.

As everyone admired the surprise, the festive atmosphere intensified when Y/N suggested singing "Happy Birthday." Friends quickly joined in with an enthusiastic and slightly off-key symphony, filling the room with laughter and joy. Mingyu, with shining eyes, couldn't contain his gratitude and happiness for having her presence on his birthday, sharing such a special moment with his friends. The lively chorus of "Happy Birthday to You" echoed, marking that moment as a memorable memory.

Watching Y/N happily sing the birthday song, Mingyu's eyes welled up, reflecting not only the joy of the moment but also the deep appreciation he felt for having her there, making his birthday truly unforgettable.

While the atmosphere at the table was lively, Mingyu found himself enveloped in a mist of contemplation and gratitude, focusing on the minutest details of Y/N's face. The other members noticed the almost dreamy expression on his face, exchanging knowing glances among themselves.

Amidst laughter and banter, one of the members, perhaps taking advantage of Mingyu's momentary distraction, decided to share an embarrassing story about him. The words unfolded animatedly, detailing an awkward situation from Mingyu's past.

Y/N, upon hearing the story, let out a spontaneous and infectious laugh. Her eyes met Mingyu's occasionally, capturing the essence of the moment. Mingyu's face, initially marked by the embarrassment of the revelation, began to soften in the face of the happiness evident on hers.

The embarrassing story continued, while Y/N genuinely laughed, and Mingyu, despite being the target of the joke, couldn't feel uncomfortable. Each of her laughs was like a melody echoing in his heart, and he found himself enchanted by every expression she made.

The other members, realizing the magic unfolding, exchanged approving and understanding looks. They could continue telling embarrassing stories all night if it meant keeping Y/N's enchanting smile. Mingyu, immersed in the contemplation of her presence, was willing to endure any embarrassment, as long as she continued to smile so charmingly throughout the night.

While everyone laughed, Y/N noticed a gaze coming from Mingyu. He was leaning against the table, his arm propped up, and his chin supported by his hand, his eyes fixed on her in a way entirely oblivious to the excitement of the small party.

Curious, Y/N asked affectionately, "What's wrong?"

Mingyu, with teary eyes and a slightly trembling voice, replied, "You're beautiful."

[zombyjuice]

INSECURITIES AND SHOPPING! ✧(σ๑˃̶̀ꇴ˂̶́)σ wonbin🎀❄️🦷🐰

In which wonbin is finally yours and he’s been learning things about you he thought he would definitely know by now.

Bf!wonbin x poc!reader

kinda sad idk and cute and smutty!! kindaaa pt.2 from this!

Wonbin knows you, inside and out he knows you yet he’s still learning new things about you.

He knew growing up was tough I mean growing up foreign anywhere in fact is tough and he knew how strong you were but he didn’t know all the racism you encountered.

You’ve discussed it once before “Well a lot of people here are just arrogant and I can’t put a big say in it I’m like Obama black to them but Koreafyed”.

But he just learned that the girls were brutal and the boys were pervs, them ruining your self-esteem.

The day you came with your hair done in box braids he could see you turning over into yourself, he could tell you didn't know if you liked it or not “You look so pretty my love, matches you so well” he saw your entire mood shift, it broke his heart.

“Really?! I was so nervous it wouldn't match me or I'd look dumb as fuck, oh em Gee or people would think I'm just some Korean girl trying to be black” You dramatically fell into his arms squeezing him tight, fake sniffling.

He smiled with so much love he thought you were so silly “I don't think anyone would've thought that nobody cares about cultural appropriation in Korea” you laughed out loud.

Waking up to him slipping his pretty cock in you and giving you a good fuck is not usually how you'd start the day.

He’d move you on top of him letting you hug him while he fucks you with his sloppy thrusts and whimpers, grabbing at your ass and giving light slaps not forgetting to finish inside you with multiple whiny “I love you”s. he would keep you stuffed till he got the energy to get up. “So pretty baby so pretty”.

“Wanna go out? I'll buy you some stuff I saw you were running out of concealer,” he'd bear hug you from behind moving his hands all along your front pinching at your tummy and squeezing at your boobs you stifle a giggle trying to concentrate on brushing your teeth “Could get all pretty together take pictures and stuff” he mumbled in your neck.

“Mhmm of course I love that” you smile spitting out whatever remains in your mouth and cleaning it off, turning to your beautiful boyfriend and giving a kiss on his lips.

He thinks you're just so lovely and he's gonna make sure you know.

[lesgetittkookie]

redamancy - jjk (part iii)

⤖ genre: fluff, future smut, angst, gardener!jeongguk x rich!reader, okay but jeongguk isn't really a gardener like that but you'll see, kinda slow burn but not really

⤖ pairing: jeongguk x female reader

⤖ rating: 18+

⤖word count: approx. 14.1 k words

⤖ chapter warnings: explicit language, angst

summary: jeongguk is just a normal dude with a simple routine. wake up, go to the gym, work his job as a waiter at this posh upscale restaurant in the heart of gangnam before coming home to a night full of video games and ramen (it's delicious and cheap). that routine gets disrupted when he accidentally taps the back of an expensive sports car of one of the richest men in south korea. considering he's broke, he couldn't afford to pay for the damages so the man makes a deal with him by offering him to work at his house as one of the gardeners. jeongguk takes it but wasn't prepared to meet this beautiful young woman who's constantly lounging by the pool, you, the rich man's daughter.

author's note: hi hi hi pls don't kill me yall. i know it's been MONTHS since i last posted. there were many life changing events that occurred in my life and it really held me back from ever completing part 3. i had half of it written in august but it was left abandoned for a while because of my college semester. i also lost motivation to write for so long too. im gonna be honest, i hate this chapter. no matter what i wrote, i was not happy with it at all and im still not. but i didn't wanna keep you guys waiting. the only thing i ask from you is that if you can really give me feedback and thoughts on the chapter, it would be really helpful. seeing you guys enjoy it keeps me motivated to continue writing, the more motivated i am, the sooner i can post future parts. im on summer break so i would really like to finish this story if possible. pls don't be a silent reader. i hope you guys like this chapter. xx M.

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“You’re going to what?” Jeongguk asks, almost dropping the garden snippers on his foot. 

Dohyun jumps a little at the older man’s loud voice, almost dropping the flower bouquet. He dusts off his white button-up, fixing the collar. 

“I’m going to ask Y/N on a date,” He reiterates proudly. “I got her these chocolates from that fancy chocolate store,” He holds up the white box wrapped in a baby pink bow. “And some roses from my aunt’s flower shop.” His other hand props up the bouquet, plastic rustling when he shakes it. 

No way. There’s no way he’s actually going to ask you. Not when you literally just said last night that you don’t have any form of feelings for Dohyun. But you also did mention that you wouldn’t have the heart to turn him down, not wanting to see him hurt. 

God, why did you have to be so nice? Are you actually going to accept the date when Dohyun asks you? 

He looks at Dohyun who seems to be in a daze, probably daydreaming about you and him together. He shivers at the thought of you kissing Dohyun on the corner of his mouth as you did with Jeongguk last night. 

Gross. 

There’s no way you’re going on that date with Dohyun. Not when you’ve made it clear that you’re interested in Jeongguk. If that kiss didn’t mean anything last night, he’d be quite upset. 

“Uh…I don’t know if that’s…a good idea,” Jeongguk replies, voice honeyed. He’d be damned if he lets Dohyun ask you out first. 

The excited smile begins to fade, forming a firm line. He looks at Jeongguk in confusion, “Why?” He asks. 

Fuck, what can he say? There’s no excuse coming to mind. 

“Listen, dude,” Jeongguk walks up to Dohyun, putting his arm around the younger man’s shoulder. “Girls like Y/N, they’re not interested in guys like us.” 

Is he gonna go to hell for lying like this? 

“Guys like…us?” Dohyun questions, looking up at Jeongguk with a clueless pout. 

Jeongguk nods, pretending to look sullen, “Yeah, I mean look at us, we’re just a bunch of commoners,” Something you’ve made very apparent that you don’t care about. “Y/N’s family…they’re rich. She’s probably into guys who own sports cars and Rolex watches.” Lies. You’ve mentioned how you couldn’t stand materialistic guys. 

“So what you’re saying is…” Dohyun stares at the grass thoughtfully, “That I need to have nice and expensive things.” Jeongguk nods in response. 

Yeah, he’s definitely going to hell. 

“B-But I made reservations at that expensive French restaurant,” He tells Jeongguk, looking a little sad. 

Lame. Going to a fancy wine-and-dine restaurant for a date would not impress you, he thinks. You already seem to be sick of your high-class lifestyle. The last thing you would want is to be sitting in a place surrounded by other rich folks.

If it were up to Jeongguk, he would’ve taken you to his favorite street vendor for some tteokbokki and then to the arcade to play games. He thinks you’d enjoy that more. 

“It’s okay man. That wouldn’t have been enough,” Jeongguk shakes his head, putting a hand on the other’s shoulder in a comforting manner,  “She probably would’ve ordered the most expensive wine on the menu.” 

Dohyun’s bottom lip quivers and a look of despair etched onto his face. “I would’ve paid for it.” 

Jeongguk raises an eyebrow, “You could afford that?” 

Dohyun shrugs, “I made a deal with the manager to pay in installments.” Geez, he really had it all planned out. 

“I don’t think she’s worth it, dude,” Jeongguk’s voice is laced with fake sorrow. He hopes you never find out that he’s saying this shit because he does not mean a single damn thing he just told Dohyun. 

“I mean I guess you’re right,” Dohyun looks down at the flower bouquet with a dejected look on his face. “She’s just always been so nice to me so I thought there might’ve been something there.” 

You are a nice person. So nice that it shook Jeongguk to the core. There wasn’t a single bad body in your body it seems. You would never have any ill intentions towards anyone. He’s witnessed it firsthand. You’re damn considerate of others that you were afraid of facing the day Dohyun confessed to you because you didn’t have it in you to turn him down and witness his heartbreak.

If anything, Jeongguk is doing both you and Dohyun a favor. 

“I hear you, buddy,” Jeongguk clasps his hand against Dohyun’s back, making the younger man wince a little. “Guys like us never get the girl.” 

Except for Jeongguk. He thinks he might have a chance.

Too arrogant? 

“I guess I’ll just cancel the reservation,” Dohyun states in melancholy, and Jeongguk immediately nods.

Yes, cancel the reservation. Please. Cancel so Jeongguk can ask you out on a date instead. 

“Well I’m going to go put this stuff back,” Jeongguk tells him, putting the tools away in the bucket. He’s also hoping to catch you sitting outside again. He wonders what swimsuit you’re wearing today. 

“I’ll go with you,” Dohyun mumbles, walking alongside Jeongguk. 

God dammit, never mind, he prays you’re not sitting outside. 

The two men are heading towards the back along the concrete pathway, stopping in front of the shed. Jeongguk looks over at the sunbed where you’re usually sitting but fortunately, you’re not there. His shoulders relax at that and he lets out a sigh of relief. He can’t help but look over at Dohyun, only to see him already staring at the sunbed as well with a gloomy look on his face. 

“Come on, help me put these tools where they need to go,” Jeongguk suggests in an attempt to distract the younger man. He’s not going to lie, he does feel a little guilty for lying like this to him. 

Jeongguk is never the type to really feel guilty which is why his Jin Hyung calls him a dickhead sometimes. But right now, he can feel it just a tad bit. 

Dohyun glances over at the sunbed one last time before hesitantly following Jeongguk inside, placing the bouquet and box of chocolates onto the wooden table. He takes out the tools one by one, placing them onto the hooks. Jeongguk just watches the other, noticing how his frown isn’t going away, eyebrows furrowed. 

Once the tools are placed in their respective places, the two of them head back outside. Dohyun leaves first and Jeongguk follows behind only to bump into the other male’s back when he pauses in his footsteps. He clicks his tongue, looking up at Dohyun only to find him staring longingly at something a few feet away. 

Oh god, please don’t let it be. 

He turns his head and there you are, walking outside of the house in your swimming attire. There’s a book in your hand as per usual and it sounds like you’re humming to a certain tune, earbuds on. 

Jeongguk finds himself panicking, ready to steer Dohyun away from the back but it’s too late. 

“You know what, I’m still gonna tell her,” Dohyun says determinedly. “I’m still gonna ask her out on that date.” He’s got to be joking. “I’m gonna ask her out on that date and then tell her I’ve been in love with her since we were kids.”  Before Jeongguk could respond, Dohyun is already striding over to you, chocolate and flowers in hand. 

This is not going to end well. 

+

It’s a beautiful day out, you think. The sky is a bright blue, the sun is out and shining high, the garden is looking colorful and vibrant with the newly planted flowers and there’s a nice breeze blowing through the air. You have a smile on your face as you think about all the things that happened yesterday. 

The way Jeongguk kept making you laugh obnoxiously and smile like a fool. He’s unintentionally funny because he’s so honest and blunt. He wouldn’t even try hard to make you laugh, he would just say something casually and actually be serious about it when you think he’s joking. You hope that you can see him again outside of your house soon. 

You haven’t seen him yet and you’re hoping he hasn’t left yet. At least not without saying bye to you. Not that he has to but it be nice if he did. 

You’re listening to music when you walk outside of the house into the backyard, book in hand, ready to begin your reading for the day. You plan to read just for a little bit, drinking a glass of red wine while you wait for Jeongguk to come to the back. 

Luckily, your mother isn’t home, having gone to her company’s building after finding out about some setbacks with the clothing material for her latest fashion line. You have no idea what it was exactly but she was definitely stressed out about it. 

Plopping down onto the lounger, you open your book to the page you bookmarked before picking up your wine glass to take a sip. Before you can bring the glass up to your lips, you hear your name being called by a ringing voice. 

You flinch, almost spilling the wine on your thigh, and look up to see Dohyun striding towards you, a look of determination on his face. In his hands, he’s holding a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates. 

Oh god. You were afraid of when this day would come. 

You set down the glass on the circular glass table beside you, closing the book as well. Mustering up your best (fake) smile, you greet him, “Hey,” You clear your throat, “Um you look nice.” 

The compliment immediately brings a bashful smile to his face as he looks down at the ground before looking at you once again. “Thank you,” He responds. 

“Mhm,” You clear your throat, awkwardly looking away. 

God, you were nervous. You already told Jeongguk you were never prepared for the moment when Dohyun was going to ask you out. You always hoped for him to eventually lose feelings and let you go. However, here he is, standing in front of you dressed in nice clothes while holding a flower bouquet. 

You felt like you were going to be sick.

“So I uh,” Dohyun lets out a deep breath. “I was wondering if you would,” No please no. “Sorry,” He shakes his head at himself. “I had a whole speech prepared but now I can’t seem to remember anything,” He tells you and a fake laugh escapes your lips. 

If he can just get nervous and maybe back out…

“Iwaswonderingifyoudliketogoonadatewithme,” He says it so fast that you almost miss it but you knew exactly what he just asked you. 

Your throat feels tight, eyes just staring at him in surprise. What do you say? How can you tell him no? Not when he’s staring at you with those hopeful eyes, hands clutching the bouquet and chocolates. 

How can you go on a date with someone else when you have a crush on Jeongguk? A major crush. Though you don’t know him very well, you know enough to like him. A lot. But maybe he doesn’t like you. He’s still a mystery to you. He’s made it clear that he finds you attractive but what if to him this is just some sort of little game to him? 

After all, he is only working here temporarily. He could just be trying to get into your pants and then disappear right after he gets what he wants. You don’t know. He genuinely seemed interested in having a conversation with you last night but at the same time, it could just be an act. 

“Um Y/N?” Dohyun’s call of your name causes you to snap out of your doubtful thoughts and look up at him. 

“Yes?” You say in surprise. 

“Wait, that's a yes?” An excited smile grows on his face. 

Oh fuck. That’s not what you meant. The smile on his face…how can you say no now? 

Letting out a regretful sigh, you gather a fake smile on your face. “Yes,” You can’t believe you’re doing this. “I’ll go on a date with you.” With those words leaving your lips, your eyes immediately snap to Jeongguk who you didn’t realize was standing a few feet away from you both. 

The look on his face causes your heart to drop into your stomach. 

Did he just witness you say yes to the date? 

Your eyes don’t look away from him, a guilty expression on your face as you stare at his now blank face. It went from surprise to blank in a matter of seconds, a way of showing you that he looks unbothered by what just happened. 

Maybe he is unbothered by it. 

If he isn’t, then he’s doing a great job at not showing it. 

You didn’t mean to say yes. In fact, you were ready to say no. But with the excited look on his face, you don’t have it in you to take it away. You just have to come clean later. You can’t get this far. 

Not when you know you can’t reciprocate your feelings for the man. 

“I’m so glad you said yes!” His smile is vibrant and it looks like he can’t contain his excitement, bouncing on his tiptoes. 

With a tight-lipped smile, you accept the bouquet of red roses he hands you along with the chocolates. Your eyes glance behind him again towards where Jeongguk is standing. He gives you a thumbs-up and a pursed-lip smile before heading towards the gate. 

You open your mouth to say something but Dohyun speaks before any words can escape you, your attention turning back towards him again. 

“So I can pick you up on Friday? How does 7 sound?” He asks you, voice sounding thrilled. 

The more you hear him speak, the worse you feel. There’s no backing out of this now. Jeongguk left without saying anything which causes you to question how he might’ve felt. Maybe he did like you back. Or maybe he just doesn’t care. 

Again, you don’t know. 

The overwhelming feeling of all kinds of emotions fills you and you just wish to disappear but instead, you just give Dohyun another fake smile and say, “Sounds good.” 

“Great!” He grins. “I’ll see you Friday!” He says before turning on his feet and leaving. You watch him walk towards the gate, no longer containing his excitement when you hear him whisper yes yes yes. 

“Jeongguk! Wait up!” You hear Dohyun shout, eagerness, and enthusiasm loud in his tone. 

You wince, looking towards the gate in hopes of catching a glimpse of Jeongguk but you fail to see him at all. He didn’t bother to come to the back and say. But you can probably understand why. You let out a sad sigh, holding up the bouquet of flowers in your hand and staring at them. 

Just one date. You just have to get through this one date. 

+ 

Friday evening 

The feeling of dread swirls in your stomach as you stare into the mirror with your hair and face ready for the date you’re about to go on. You’re not looking forward to it at all. Ever since you woke up this morning, you thought about coming up with some sort of excuse to back out of the date. Maybe lie and say you have the stomach flu or something. 

Then again, if you lie, you would just be postponing the date because you have a feeling he would reschedule it for another day. So you thought to yourself that it would be better to get it over with. 

Your plan is to go on the date, eat and then tell him that you don’t have any feelings for him. You know that if you lead him on further, it will end with a more painful heartbreak for him.

You’re also bummed because, for the remainder of the week, you did not see Jeongguk at all. Even when you sat down at the pool all day, constantly looking over at the door in hopes of catching sight of him, he didn’t come towards the back. 

Instead of Jeongguk coming to the shed to drop off the tools, it would either be some other gardener or sometimes even Dohyun who, of course, would wave at you excitedly and remind you about the time of your date on Friday. 

You think he might be disappointed in you and doesn’t want to see you. Or maybe he backed off because he probably thinks you’re giving Dohyun a chance when you’re not. 

You just fucked up by saying yes. 

After telling Dohyun that you don’t have feelings for him, you’re determined to tell Jeongguk you like him when you see him on Monday. And if he doesn’t like you back? 

Well then you’re just going to hide in your room in embarrassment until he finishes working his last few days at your estate

You’re wearing a black long-sleeved dress that has a square-shaped neckline and slightly ruffled sleeves. It reaches below your knees, a slit on the left side, revealing the skin up to your midthigh. You left your hair open in soft curls and your makeup is done minimally. 

You’re putting on your dangly earring when you hear your phone vibrate on the vanity. The screen lights up with a text from Dohyun telling you he’s out front waiting for you. You exhale deeply, attempting to calm yourself down, feeling slightly sick in the stomach. 

Just two hours. You just have to endure this date for two hours. 

Fixing the loose strand of hair in your face, you look into the mirror one last time before grabbing your clutch and walking out of the bedroom and down the spiral steps. You nod your head at one of the maids on your way out, giving her a polite smile. 

When you walk outside of your house, you see Dohyun waiting in front of the gate with another bouquet of flowers. He cleaned himself nicely, wearing a white button-up under a black blazer with matching pants. His hair is pushed back and he’s not wearing those glasses again. 

With an elated grin, he gives you a bow which you return before grabbing the flowers he holds out and muttering a small ‘thanks’ in response. 

He nods, seeming proud of himself before he holds out his hand which you hesitantly take. He walks you to his car, a red Toyota Corolla, opening the door for you politely. 

Your mind can’t help but wonder when you went out with Jeongguk that night at the bar and he told you that chivalry was dead so he wouldn’t open the door for you. You can’t help but smile at the memory, shaking your head. 

Once you’re sitting down in the car, bouquet in your lap along with your clutch, he gently closes the door before jogging towards the driver's side to sit down. His face is beaming when he starts the car again, the sound of a girl group song immediately playing on the Bluetooth loudly, causing you to wince at the volume. 

He looks panicked, cheeks and ears red as he quickly turns down the volume dial on the knob and mumbles a shy ‘sorry. You give him a reassuring smile before looking out of the window.

The car begins moving, an awkward silence immediately filling the air since neither of you say a single word. Dohyun is the first to break it, clearing his throat before speaking. 

“So how was your day?” He asks, attempting to make conversation. 

You shrug, watching outside as he drives out of your neighborhood towards the city. “It was okay. Didn’t really do much.” 

Other than hoping and praying for the date to be canceled one way or another. 

He nods, tapping his index fingers against the steering wheel as he says, “Cool cool. I didn’t do much either.” You nod, listening. “Well actually, I started this new Korean drama. It’s about this guy who…” 

He rambles about the drama, beginning from the first episode and providing you with details on how it all started, and for almost the majority of the car ride, he’s giving you a rundown on how each episode goes down one by one along with his personal opinions. You just nod and add in a few words to make yourself sound interested when really, all you wanted to do was open the car door and roll down the street. 

Unable to help yourself, your mind drifts to the time you were with Jeongguk and how you two talked about the most random things. He would tell you crazy stories about the things he’s done with his friends, always having something ridiculous to say which would make you laugh a crazy amount. 

Again, Jeongguk is blunt and careless about what he says and who he says it to. He never held back from telling you things that might sound absurd to others. 

For this one time when he and his six other friends had a competition on who can eat the most gamja hot dogs at a carnival before they all went on one of those spinning rides and ended up vomiting while the ride was still going. The whole ride had to immediately shut down and people who were waiting in line were not happy and covered in their puke. 

To make the night even worse, his friend Jin almost fought a little kid over the last alpaca plushie at one of the games and it resulted in them being kicked out of the carnival. 

The whole time he had told you that story, he had a smile on his face at the memories and you remember being enraptured by how beautiful he looked with his bunny teeth on display, the small mole beneath his rose-colored lips visible; the hand gestures he’d make to animate the story. 

You don’t realize you’re smiling again until Dohyun calls for your name, causing you to flinch in surprise. 

“Yeah?” You ask, smile dropping and you look at him questioningly. 

“I was um asking what you thought about it?” He wonders, glancing at you before looking back at the road. 

Fuck, what did he ask about? 

“I’m sorry,” You shake your head. “Can you repeat the question?” You look at him apologetically, mentally cursing at yourself for being distracted by Jeongguk again. 

Dohyun clears his throat, “I was asking what your thoughts were on the show so far.” 

Oh right, the show. The one you didn’t listen to a single thing about. God, you don’t know what to say. 

Think, Y/N, think. 

“It sounds…” You’re looking for the right word. “Like there’s a lot going on.” You slightly wince at that, hoping he doesn’t notice. 

Dohyun looks a bit confused, pursing his lips in thought before saying, “Really? I don’t know. I honestly think it’s quite boring. There’s no good drama going on with the characters.” He says and you nod. 

“Honestly you’re right,” You quickly add. “I don’t know what I was thinking,” You let out a fake chuckle. “It needs to be more dramatic.” 

You have no fucking clue what you’re saying. 

Seeming to be satisfied with the answer, he nods with a smile before moving on to a different topic. 

For the rest of the car ride, you try really hard to give him your full attention when he talks, chipping in on things when appropriate up until you guys reach the restaurant. You let out a slightly annoyed sigh under your breath when the restaurant comes into view. 

Pierre Gagnaire à Séoul. 

The French restaurant your mother absolutely loves meanwhile you hate. The food is not bad but it’s not to your taste. You’re also not a fan of the environment, surrounded by all the posh and stuck-up rich people. 

The restaurant has valet parking as well so when you guys pull up to the front, Dohyun quickly opens the door and runs to your side so he can open your own door for you, holding his hand out for you to take. 

You try not to think about how Jeongguk would probably tell you to open the door yourself because he wouldn’t do it for you. 

He hands his keys over to the valet before you both head inside, his hand holding yours. You try not to squirm when he tries to intertwine your fingers, letting out a breath to try and relax. 

He opens the door for you, allowing you to go in first and you give him a thank you before walking inside first, internally grateful that your hands are no longer clasped together.

The aromatic smell of the food immediately hits your nose. The sound of chatter fills your ears along with the utensils hitting against the plates. The sight you see with your eyes is one you are used to. Wealthy people dressed to the nines in their extravagant dresses and suits, sipping on expensive wine. 

“Good evening,” The hostess at the front greets with a practiced smile. “Reservation?” 

Dohyun nods excitedly, “Dohyun at 7:30.” He tells her and she nods, looking at the screen before grabbing two menus from beside her and nudging her head towards the tables. 

“Follow me please,” She says, Dohyun letting you go first before he follows behind you. You walk past other people, avoiding making eye contact with anyone you know. 

This restaurant is where all of the affluent people go, friends of your family that your parents are close to. You wouldn’t be surprised if you saw any of them here though you’d much rather not which is why you just stare at the hostess’ back as she guides you both towards your table. 

Dohyun pulls the chair back for you as soon as you reach the table before he sits himself down. The hostess places the menus down on the table before saying, “Your waiter should be here shortly.” And with that, she leaves. 

“I’ve never been here before so I’m excited,” Dohyun says, flipping through the menu with stars in his eyes.

You shrug, pretending to look through the menu though not really because you already know what you’re going to choose. “I’ve been a few times,” You inform him. 

“Oh,” He looks at you. “Do you like it?” He looks nervous when he waits for your response. 

You give him a pursed-lip smile and say, “Yeah,” You lie. “I like it.” 

He grins, seeming satisfied with the answer before looking at the menu again. You look down at your own menu again in order to distract yourself, waiting for him to decide what he wants to eat. 

“Good evening, my name is Jeongguk and I’ll be your waiter this evening.” As soon as you hear that husky yet gentle voice, your head snaps up to the person and the menu drops onto the table out of surprise. 

And there he is, standing in front of you wearing black slacks that accentuate his strong thighs while he wears a white button-up that hugs his chest. The sleeves are pulled up a bit, his inked arms slightly peaking out. His dark hair is pushed back to reveal his eyebrow piercing and strong brows, a single loose strand slightly falling forward on his forehead. 

His large doe brown eyes meet yours, shock evident on his face as he stares right back at you.  

“Holy shoot Jeongguk!” Dohyun sounds just as surprised as you look before a large smile overtakes his face. 

+

Jeongguk had no fucking idea that this was the fancy wine and dine restaurant Dohyun was going to take you to for the date.

The whole week Dohyun wouldn’t shut up about it and he didn’t bother asking the younger man which restaurant it was. He wasn’t interested in knowing because quite frankly, he tried not to care. 

To say that he was disappointed when you said yes to Dohyun would be an understatement. He knew you were too nice and didn’t want to hurt the guy but he really thought you’d muster up the courage to turn him down. 

Instead, he watched you say yes and take the flowers and chocolates from Dohyun with that pretty smile on your face. 

Now Jeongguk usually isn’t the type to get jealous. But that’s usually because there’s no one he’s really been interested in. Sure, he’s had a few girlfriends here and there but the relationships don’t last long enough because the girl either ends up batshit crazy or he just couldn’t return the same feelings. 

But seeing Dohyun all excited and happy about taking you out on a date would just piss him off. He wanted to be the one to take you out. He thinks his plan would’ve been more solid and fun. Taking you out to the arcade before eating at his favorite fried chicken spot with beer.

Jeongguk can’t deny that he holds these strong feelings of infatuation towards you. You interest him because you’re different. Sure, it might sound like those typical cliche things but he’s speaking the truth. You’re intelligent, funny, and so fucking kind to others. Let’s not also forget how immensely beautiful you are. 

Yeah, he’s got a gigantic crush on you. 

Too bad he’s standing in front of you as your waiter and not as the date sitting across from you. He can’t seem to take his eyes off of you right now. Taking in your wide eyes and slightly ajar mouth, he tries not to act just as surprised by keeping a blank stare. 

“Oh wow, didn’t expect to see you guys here,” Jeongguk says, voice flat and void of any emotion. 

Before you can say anything, Dohyun says, “Jeongguk, I didn't know you worked here!” Jeongguk tries not to wince at Dohyun’s loud enthusiastic voice. 

“Yeah,” Jeongguk clears his throat, giving his full attention to Dohyun so he doesn’t stare at you. “Usually the evening shifts now since you know…I work at the other place.” He informs him. 

Dohyun nods, “Cool cool.” He looks across at you. “Isn’t it funny how Jeongguk is our waiter, Y/N?” 

Jeongguk looks at you who’s just looking at Dohyun before glancing at him, “Yeah, it’s pretty crazy.” Your voice is shy of speaking and he thinks it's because of him. He holds eye contact with you, taking in the small pout on your glossy lips. There’s a certain emotion in your eye, almost looking apologetic but Jeongguk tries to brush it off. 

“Anyways, what would you guys like to start off with? Something to drink maybe?” Jeongguk asks, pulling out a pen and his notepad. 

Don’t fucking look at Y/N, Jeongguk. 

Dohyun looks at you first with a questioning gaze, “Y/N?” 

You clear your throat as you shut the menu, “I’ll just have water.” Jeongguk nods before looking at Dohyun. 

“I’ll also have water,” The younger man smiles at Y/N. 

Why the fuck is this guy always smiling? Jeongguk wonders. 

And why the fuck are they both just ordering water? If Jeongguk were you, he’d be ordering the overpriced wines for the hell of it. Maybe just maybe…he can make this date a bit more entertaining for himself. 

Jeongguk stands straighter and then looks at Dohyun, “Are you sure you guys don’t want to try the red wine? It’s Pinot Noir. A classic.” 

Dohyun’s eyes widen for a second before they glance at you and then back to Jeongguk. Jeongguk looks at Dohyun and secretly winks, almost as a way of communicating to the younger man that this is going to impress you.

Jeongguk knows it won’t but he’s bored and sad. Sue him. 

Dohyun nods rapidly and says, “We’ll have some of that as well.” 

Before Jeongguk can say anything, you cut in by saying, “Are you sure about that? It’s quite expensive, Dohyun.” You’re looking at him in concern, pointing a manicured nail at the price of the wine on the menu. 

Dohyun just shakes his head and tries to wave it off, “Don’t worry, Y/N. I can afford it. Order whatever you want.” 

You purse your lips, not saying anything else. Your eyes shift to Jeongguk slightly squinting at him almost in suspicion but he just shrugs, turning around to walk away. 

Is Jeongguk going to look like an asshole for trying to sabotage this date? Probably. Does he care? Not really. He’s trying to save your ass before Dohyun confesses to you. He needs to make sure that doesn’t happen otherwise you’re going to end up lying and telling the man that you like him back when Jeongguk knows damn well you don’t.

Though Jeongguk only really hung out with you once, he knows enough to say that you will feel extremely guilty for hurting someone else’s feelings. You’ve proven that just by going on this date with Dohyun regardless of the fact that you don’t hold any feelings for the guy. You just didn’t want to turn him down because you knew he’d be heartbroken. 

Jeongguk is not going to let you accept Dohyun’s confession. Not when Jeongguk likes you and you like him. At least he thinks you like him because if that kiss on the corner of his mouth didn’t mean anything he doesn’t know what the fuck that meant. 

Surely you weren’t leading him on. Or maybe that’s how you say goodbye to your friends? 

Wait, but then again you don’t have friends. 

This shit is going to give Jeongguk a headache. By the end of this date, if it doesn’t turn into a complete disaster, Jeongguk is going to stop being a pussy and say something. He doesn’t exactly know what yet. But something. 

Pouring the wine into the fancy glasses, he puts them on a tray and brings them back out to the table. The first thing he sees when he heads towards your table is your smiling face looking directly at Dohyun. 

Hell no. 

“Here’s your water,” Jeongguk places down each glass one by one. “And your wine,” He carefully puts down yours, making direct eye contact with you as he does. He notices you gulp and he tries to hold back a smile. When he’s setting Dohyun’s glass on the table, his finger accidentally knocks over the glass, causing it to tip over onto the table and a little bit on Dohyun’s slacks. 

Okay, that one wasn’t planned, Jeongguk swears. 

Dohyun gasps out of surprise, standing up with his pants slightly soaked in the wine. Meanwhile, you’re just staring with your hand covering your mouth, eyes wide. Jeongguk quickly acts shocked as well. 

“I am so sorry,” He picks up the white cloth napkin and attempts to dab it on Dohyun’s pants at the front. “I’m really sorry. I don’t know how that fell over.” He pretends to wince, facial expression feigning guilt. 

Some of the people at the surrounding tables are watching, talking amongst themselves as they stare at what just happened. It’s like they’re expecting Dohyun to lash out at Jeongguk or something but instead, he says, “Hey it’s okay. It was an accident.” He grabs the cloth from the Jeongguk, patting the pants himself.

This guy is so damn nice, Jeongguk hates it. Why is he so damn nice? 

“You sure you don’t want to go clean up?” Jeongguk hears you ask, watching the whole scene in concern. 

“No no,” Dohyun shakes his head and waves off. “It’s alright. At least I’m wearing black pants so it’s not that noticeable.” He laughs and you just nod in response. 

“I’ll get you another glass,” Jeongguk speaks, turning around to get him another glass. Once he returns with a new one, he carefully places it on the table. 

“Alright, so did you guys decide what you want to eat?” Jeongguk clasps his hands together, looking between the two, gaze lingering on you. 

Look away, Jeongguk. Look. Away. 

“Hm, I’m having a hard time deciding actually,” Dohyun pouts, brows furrowed as he studies the menu. “Do you have any recommendations?” 

Boy, Jeongguk sure does. 

Clearing his throat, he slightly cranes his neck to look over at the menu and points at one item in particular, “I recommend this filet mignon. Everyone loves it.” And it’s fucking expensive as fuck. 

Jeongguk hears you add to the conversation, “It’s almost 150,000 won…” You’re staring at him in ridicule, mouth parted and eyes wide. 

If there’s anything Jeongguk has learned about you, it’s that you’re not dumb. In fact, you are very fucking intelligent and he’s pretty sure you can see right through his actions. But for some reason, that doesn’t stop Jeongguk. Maybe he wants to have a bit of fun with this. In his defense, he’s trying to help you. 

“Don’t worry about the price, Y/N. I can afford it,” Dohyun acts nonchalantly, looking up at Jeongguk and confidently saying, “I’ll have that.” He then looks at you. “Y/N?” 

You let out a defeated sigh, closing the menu, “I’ll just have the risotto carnaroli de coquillages.” The way you say it so eloquently in French almost makes Jeongguk's dick hard. God, it sounded so hot. 

How much more attractive and interesting can you get? 

And also, where the fuck did you learn to speak perfect French?

It seems as though Jeongguk isn’t the only one affected by your French speaking because when he looks at Dohyun, the younger man is just staring at you with parted lips and stars in his eyes as if you’re the greatest thing he’s ever seen. 

You’re so damn nice that you ended up choosing the cheapest entree on the menu. You were just way too damn considerate. There goes that rich girl persona he was trying to paint to Dohyun. 

Trying not to physically drool, Jeongguk looks away and nods, “Got it.” He walks always so fast, almost bumping into another waiter on his way. 

+

You have a feeling that Jeongguk is trying to fuck up the date you’re on with Dohyun. You can see right through him. Having the poor guy choose expensive menu items so he can impress you when Jeongguk knows damn well you’re not about it. 

At least this can kind of confirm that he was affected by the whole date thing. That answers some questions but not all. 

Also, can you just say that Jeongguk looks fine as fuck in his uniform? 

If you had known that he works here as a waiter, you would’ve definitely joined your mother for the sake of seeing him. The sight of him wearing that tight-fitted button-up with those slacks hugging his ass almost had you drooling. 

You tried so hard not to just dead-on stare at him the whole time while he was standing right in front of you. You just couldn’t help yourself at times, eyes trailing down from his perfectly structured face to his chest and down to his tattooed covered hands and forearms that were peaking out from beneath his shirt sleeve. 

Your mind was steering away to some…unholy thoughts. Especially because of those damn thighs. 

Why did he have to be so damn hot? 

Okay, you’re getting a little too carried away right now. You need to focus. Focus on Dohyun. The man you came on a date with. You have to try and at least make some sort of conversation with him. He’s always asking you for your opinion and thoughts on what he’s saying but you end up stuttering your way through the conversation since you have no idea what he’s asking you about when you’re not listening. 

Jeongguk being here as your damn waiter does not help the situation at all. Although you think he’s trying to help you in a somewhat cruel way you need to get him to stop. You’re beginning to feel guilty as fuck when you see the man do something that is the total opposite of impressing you. 

“Um Y/N?” You’re snapped out of your thoughts when you hear Dohyun calling your name. 

“Yes? Sorry,” You apologize, feeling bad for being distracted again. 

Dohyun shakes his head, a small smile on his face, “No worries. I just wanted to talk to you about something.” 

Your heart races at that and you gulp, beginning to feel a little worried at what exactly he wants to say. No no, you didn’t think it be this soon. You need to tell him before he tells you. You can’t let him tell you first. 

Before you can say anything more, he continues, “I don’t know if you remember that before you left for college I was going to–” 

“More wine anyone?” Jeongguk cuts in, holding up the bottle and acting oblivious to what he just interrupted. Your shoulders relax in relief and you nod rapidly. 

You really need a fucking drink to get through this. 

“Yes please,” You hold up your glass and he pours it in for you. 

“There you go,” His fingers brush against yours which ensures the glass is in your hand’s grip when you pull it back and you try not to shiver at the tinging feeling and his eyes directly looking into yours.

“Dohyun?” Jeongguk looks at him with a questioning gaze, holding out the bottle but the other just shakes his head in response. 

“I’m good thanks,” He looks eager for Jeongguk to leave right now, knee bouncing in anxiousness. 

“Okay well your food should be here shortly,” Jeongguk says before turning to leave. He looks a bit hesitant to leave, glancing over his shoulder to look at you and you just send him a fake small smile, looking down into your lap. 

What the fuck do you do? 

“As I was saying Y/N, before you left for college I was going to tell you something,” Dohyun’s voice sounds a little shaky when he speaks. “But you had to leave and I never got the chance but for so long I–” 

“Bathroom!” You blurt out, eyes going wide. 

Dohyun looks confused, “Huh?” 

You let out a nervous laugh, “Um I just really need to use the bathroom,” You stand up, grabbing your purse. “Can you give me a few minutes? I really gotta pee.” No, you don’t. You need to go freak the fuck out and possibly climb out of the window. 

“Oh okay,” He nods understandably before flashing you a sweet smile. “I’ll wait.” 

You give him a fake smile in response, pushing into your chair before walking towards the bathroom. You maneuver your way around a few waiters, avoiding eye contact and rushing inside. Luckily no one else is in the bathroom so you just stand in front of the sink, taking a few deep breaths as you stare into the mirror. 

You don’t know how to turn him down. He’s getting so close to telling you about his feelings. You didn’t have the heart to turn him down for the date. What if you can’t reject his feelings for you either? 

If that ends up happening, you’d be absolutely fucked. 

You don’t even fucking see a window in here otherwise you’d escape right there. 

“You okay?” You hear a familiar voice ask, causing you to flinch in surprise, hand resting on your chest. 

“Holy shit,” You exhale. “You scared me.” You look at Jeongguk, wondering how the hell you didn’t hear him enter the bathroom. 

The women’s bathroom might you add. 

“Yeah yeah,” You try to wave off. “I’m fine. What are you doing in here?” You quickly ask, looking away and pretending to look into the mirror and fix your hair. 

“I saw you come in and you didn’t look too good,” He shrugs, hands in his pocket as he leans against the wall. “Just thought I’d check up on you.” 

Your heart swells a little at his concern. You’re in awe at the fact that he cared enough to come to see how you’re doing because he thought something was wrong. God, he’s making you like him more and more. 

“I’m,” You clear your throat, “I’m good.” You’re not. “I think.” You add before letting out a shaky breath. “It’s not every day that someone is about to confess about being in love with you for years.” You let out a humorless chuckle. 

“Well you’re right about that,” Jeongguk says and you look at him with a raised eyebrow. He clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “Sorry, not helping.” 

“Not at all,” You respond, turning around so you can lean your back against the counter of the sink. “Aren’t you going to be in trouble for being here?” 

Jeongguk shrugs, “Not my first time being in the women’s bathroom during a shift,” He smirks and your chest slightly tinges in jealousy at what he’s implying but then he adds, “I once had to help an old lady clean a stain off of her dress.” You relax at that, causing Jeongguk to smirk. 

“What did you think I meant?” He teases and you roll your eyes in response. 

“Was it a wine stain cus’ you sure seem to be quite clumsy for a waiter,” You ask with heavy sarcasm, watching how he pushes himself off the wall. 

“Hey! That was actually an accident,” Jeongguk tries to defend. 

“I’m sure it was,” You remark, arms crossed over your chest. You try not to notice how he’s slowly walking toward you. 

“It was,” He answers before saying, “Look I’m trying to help you out over here.” 

You pout, avoiding eye contact with him by staring down at the pristine tiled floor. “I don’t need help.” 

You’re lying. You really fucking need help. 

Jeongguk lets out a sigh, “Y/N, why’d you say yes to the date if you knew you didn’t like him?” He asks, pierced brow raised in question. 

Unable to meet his eyes, you fiddle with the rings on your fingers and say, “I just felt really bad because he just seemed so excited,” You look up at him, “I just didn’t know how to say no.” 

Jeongguk nods and you notice how he’s standing directly in front of you now. You swallow at the sight of how good he looks in his button-up that shows off his small waist and strong chest. The sleeves are snug around his biceps and the black dress pants accentuate his strong thighs. 

“Yeah but now look,” His hand gestures towards the door to refer to Dohyun. “You said yes to the guy, making him think he has a chance or that you might like him or something.” The guilt weighs down on your chest and you stare down at the floor in shame. 

 Jeongguk is right. You made the mistake of saying yes and it probably made Dohyun hopeful that the feelings he has for you are mutual in return. But that’s not true when the man standing a few inches in front of you is the only one you want. 

Seeing the uniform hug his body in a way that shows off his toned muscles almost has you drooling and you try not to shiver at how his dark eyes give you a once-over. You know you look good with the way your black dress is hugging your body, the slit reaching your midthigh, showing off your smooth skin. His eyes seem to linger on that area in particular and you try not to smile. 

“I just couldn’t say no,” You whine, pouting at the floor with your arms crossing over your chest. 

Jeongguk dips his head a bit, bringing it closer to yours with just a few inches of space in between, and asks, “And why couldn’t you say no?” 

Your eyes can’t help but wander to his rose petal-colored lips that look so soft at the moment. You’re curious to know how the piercing would feel if you were to just kiss him on the mouth. There’s also that cute little mole he has beneath his bottom lip. Swallowing, you look up to find his doe-brown eyes staring at your own lips as well. 

Clearing your throat, you answer, “Because he brought me flowers a-and…” You shyly look away from his intense gaze, cheeks flushing as you look behind him. “And he got those expensive chocolates. I just didn’t know how to say no.” 

“What about me?” Jeongguk inquires, causing you to snap your head to look at him in surprise. 

“What about you?” You raise an eyebrow in question. 

Your heart starts to race when you notice his right hand come up to your face, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. His fingers lightly brush against your exposed neck, causing you to slightly shiver at his touch. 

If he can just wrap those hands around your throat you don’t think you’d mind at all. 

“What if I brought you flowers and overpriced chocolates and asked you out to dinner?” He asks, eyes watching how you grab his right hand, fingers tracing over the tattoos on his knuckles. 

“I would’ve said yes even if you didn’t bring me flowers or overpriced chocolates,” You tell him truthfully, enjoying the satisfied look on his face. 

“Well,” He looks down at your joined hands before intertwining his fingers with yours. “Good to know I don’t have any competition.” You snort at that, suddenly feeling brave and pull him closer to you. 

You know you shouldn’t be doing this right now. Not when you’re literally on a date with someone who’s been crushing on you since you were kids but you’re in the bathroom with your waiter slash gardener slash friend? Acquaintance? Whatever he is, what you know for sure is that you want to kiss him right in the mouth because he looks too good not to. 

So you do. 

Forgetting about everything else going on, you make the move you’ve been desperately wanting to make since you saw the man standing in front of you. 

You grab the collar of his shirt and tug him down so you can press your lips against his in a lustful kiss. A small noise of surprise leaves his lips but he quickly reacts by putting his hands on your waist and returning the affection.

The feeling of his lips against yours was nothing like you’d ever felt before. They felt almost silk-like and pillowy as they moved against yours in the heated kiss. Sparks ignite, in your chest, buzzing throughout your entire body as his large hands slid up and down your back before moving down toward your hip. He squeezes it softly, causing you to inhale sharply.

His lips move against yours in a soft but sensual manner that has your knees slightly quivering and your heart pounding. You feel breathless when you pull apart for a few seconds with his forehead resting against yours. His right-hand cups your face, thumb playing with your bottom lip.

Jeongguk smirks, “You look good with your lipstick smeared.” You roll your eyes playfully but you can feel the heat in your cheeks at his comment. 

“Shut up,” You pull him until your lower back hits the counter behind you, his hands caging your body against it which causes a rush of excitement to run up your spine. You can’t help but give him a once over, noticing how pink his lips look now, hair slightly unruly from your hands. Jeongguk watches as you bring your hands to his chest, fiddling with the collar before letting them trail down his chest to feel his pecs. 

The muscles feel hard and firm beneath your hand as you trail them down toward his abdomen. When your hands dip a little too low, he quickly snatches your hand and holds it up against his chest, tugging you close by the waist with the other arm. 

“Nuh-uh,” Jeongguk clicks his tongue, “As much as I’m into the idea of fucking you in a public area, you are not about to start this in the fucking bathroom at my job.” Your cheeks flush immediately and you try to shove him away but he hardly moves. 

God, you just wanted to devour him right here. You couldn’t handle the sight in front of you right now. You know this is just his work uniform but you never would’ve thought that he can look this good. You just wanted to get on your knees and… 

“Y/N.” You immediately snap out of your horny thoughts, eyes wide and face warm. Jeongguk has a stupid smirk on his face as if he knows what you’re thinking about right now. 

Despite wanting to tackle him to the ground and have him take you right here, you remember you have a whole date waiting for you outside at the table most likely wondering where you are. 

“What?” You clear your throat, pushing those lustful thoughts aside. 

Jeongguk holds a teasing smile on his face, “Are you dreaming about my dick?” 

“What-no!” You deny, pushing him off and turning towards the mirror to fix your hair. You notice how your lipstick is smeared, courtesy of Jeongguk. You take a tissue and clean it before opening your clutch to pull out the liquid lipstick so you can reapply it. 

You can feel Jeongguk’s eyes on you the whole time as you’re bent over the counter, looking closely in the mirror. You try not to make eye contact, gliding the applicator across your bottom lip. 

Your breath hitches in your throat when you feel his hand slide on your hip but you pretend to like it doesn’t affect you even though your heart rate starts to increase and a feeling of thrill runs up your spine. 

“You were totally dreaming about my dick,” You glare at him through the mirror, elbowing him in the abdomen which causes him to slightly groan. 

“Why would I be thinking about your dick when I’m on a date with someone else right now?” You ask. 

Jeongguk snickers, “You weren’t saying that when you had your tongue down my throat a few minutes ago.” 

Your jaw drops and you turn around, pushing at his shoulder, “I did not have my tongue down your throat.” 

He has that smug smile on his annoyingly handsome face that had you contemplating whether you wanted to smack him or kiss him again. 

“It’s okay, you’re too shy to admit it right now. You’ll get comfortable eventually,” He shrugs, avoiding the little punch you were about to deliver to his chest. He grabs your hand instead and pulls you towards him once again with his tattooed arm around your waist while the other cups your cheek. 

“You’re annoying,” You mumble, playing with the top button on his shirt. You notice ink peeking out from where the shirt is unbuttoned which you somehow haven’t noticed before. 

Can this man get any more attractive? 

“I’d say charming,” Jeongguk responds before asking, “We’ve been here for quite some time now.” 

“You’re the one who followed me,” You retorted. 

“I had to make sure you were okay,” Jeongguk defends, thumb stroking your cheek. “What are you going to do now?” 

You let out a dreaded sigh, letting your hands rest against his chest as you say, “I’m going to have to tell him I’m not interested.” You shake your head. “I shouldn’t have said yes in the first place. It was a mistake from that day but he just had this hopeful smile on his face. I didn’t have it in me to deny him.” 

Jeongguk looks at you with a nonjudgmental gaze, nodding his head. “You can’t let this drag out any longer.” 

“I know,” You agree, thinking about how crushed Dohyun is going to look once you tell him the truth. 

“He’s going to be heartbroken,” Jeongguk adds. 

You pout, “I know.”

“But I’m going to be one happy man.” 

“I know–wait what?” You almost missed what he said and he just chuckles in response. “Why would you be happy?” 

“Cuz then I can ask you out on a date,” Jeongguk says with full confidence, wrapping both arms around your waist and swaying you side to side. 

“And you’re so sure I’d say yes?” You ask, eyebrows raised in question. 

He narrows his eyes at you playfully and says, “With the way you were about to get on your knees I’d like to think–” 

You slap his chest, “God, you’re so annoying! See if I ever give you head now.” 

“I’m kidding,” Jeongguk pouts. “You can’t take away that privilege already. You haven’t even done it yet.” 

Rolling your eyes at his response, your hand plays with the piercing in his right eyebrow. His hands rest on your lower back casually as if you guys have done this a million times. Jeongguk is definitely a touchy person but not in a way that’s made you uncomfortable of course. You’ve enjoyed the feeling of his hands on your body and you wonder what it would feel like on your bare skin. 

You’d definitely like to find that out. 

To say that you’re surprised he’s even talking to you would be an understatement. Especially after the day he saw you accepting Dohyun’s little gifts and proposal to dinner. He had left so abruptly much to your disappointment. And even after that, you didn’t even catch wind of him when working around the garden. 

You really thought you lost your opportunity with him but his actions and words say otherwise. 

“You didn’t answer my question,” Jeongguk’s statement breaks you out of your thoughts. 

“What question?” 

He raises an eyebrow, “If you’d like to go on a date with me.” He runs his thumb over your bottom lip, staring at them as if he wants to just devour them again but he’s restraining himself. 

You didn’t even realize he asked you that question. 

With a snort, you say, “Are you seriously going to ask me this in the bathroom while my actual date is waiting for me outside?”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes at you, “I’m sorry would you like me to shower you with flowers and expensive as fuck chocolates? I can also ask Bill, who is playing the violin in the dining room right now, to play you a song while I ask you out.” 

This time you roll your eyes at his response, “No need for flowers and expensive as fuck chocolates,” you emphasize his words. “And his name is Bill? He doesn’t even look like a Bill.” 

“That’s what I’ve been telling my coworkers. He looks more like a Marvin to me.” Jeongguk says and you nod your head in agreement after a quick thought. 

“Tell you what, give me your number first and then I’ll give you a response,” You don’t know where this confidence suddenly came from 

“You know you could’ve just asked me for my number if you wanted it so bad,” He laughs and you ignore him, handing him your phone. 

“Hush, I need to leave now so hurry up,” You watch as he types in his number, an amused smile pulling at his lips which causes you to narrow your eyes at him.

He hands you back your phone, an innocent smile on his face while you’re looking at him suspiciously. When you glance down at your phone, you understand why he has that look on his face. 

The contact name for his number is My super hot gardener &lt;3 <3

Can he get any more annoying? 

“Are you kidding me?” You ask him but don’t change the name anyways. 

“Not at all, love.” He pulls you forward once more, cupping your face with both hands this time, causing you to look up at him. “Listen, don’t worry about how Dohyun is going to feel, and don’t beat yourself up about it either.” You nod sadly. “You can’t keep leading him on like this. Neither of you deserve that. So just be honest about your feelings towards him.” Jeongguk tilts your head up to look at him. “You have to put yourself first okay?” 

You nod understandingly, hands going behind his neck to pull him down for another sweet kiss because you just couldn’t fucking help yourself. The feeling of his lips on yours was just so damn addicting. The way he was gazing at you with those soft doe eyes and the comforting words he provided had your stomach fluttering with butterflies. 

Your lips move in sync, arms tightening around one another as if you didn’t want to let each other go. His tongue prods at your lips, asking for entrance which you grant. His tongue slides into your mouth, hands digging into your hips as he fights for dominance with your own tongue. The kiss becomes more and more heated, your hands tangling in his wavy hair once again while you’re pretty sure your lipstick is smeared over both your lips as well as his own. 

The sound of your phone vibrating has you pulling back from his lips with a loud POP. Your chest is heaving, slightly out of breath from the intense kiss. Jeongguk runs his thumb across his lip to clean the faint lipstick while you’re opening your purse to see a message from Dohyun. 

Dohyun: Hey Y/N, are you okay?” 

Great, he must think you’re fighting for your life in the bathroom or something. It’s probably been well over 20 minutes so you can’t blame him. 

“I really have to go now.” You tell Jeongguk and he nods understandingly. 

“It’s fine,” He grabs a tissue and brings it up to clean beneath your lower lip. “Your lipstick smeared again.” You smile at the gesture in a thankful manner, letting him clean it for you.

He’s going to kill you. 

“Remember what I said okay?” He tells you and you nod in response, your throat feeling tight already at the conversation you’ve been dreading the whole night. “And I’ll be nearby in case you need help.” You nod once again, feeling reassured by his words. 

“Okay, thanks.” You give him a sweet smile, leaning up on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek which catches him off guard.  

“Yeah…” He clears his throat, “No problem.” 

With a small smile, you turn around and walk out the bathroom door not without looking over your shoulder at Jeongguk one last time. 

Here goes nothing. 

+

“Hey, sorry I took so long,” You apologize to Dohyun, straightening out your dress before sitting back down on the chair. 

Dohyun just gives you a sweet, understanding smile in return and says, “It’s okay. Jeongguk hasn’t even come by with the food yet.” 

You cough, taking a sip of your water to hide the flush of your cheeks. If only he knew Jeongguk was too busy with his tongue down your throat in the bathroom. The thought of what just went down in the bathroom had your stomach swirling in excitement. You hope the small smile on your face was not too obvious.  

“Is everything okay?” Dohyun’s voice is filled with concern. 

You’re snapped out of your thoughts at the sound of his question, looking up at him with wide eyes. You need to focus on the fact that you’re on a date with Dohyun right now and that you only have to endure this for a little bit longer before the food comes. 

Then you actually have to let Dohyun down politely. Honestly, you don’t even know why you don’t just get it over with right now. 

Jeongguk’s words echo in your head, telling you that it’s okay to think about yourself and turn Dohyun down. There’s no reason for you to be stretching this time out even longer. It’ll save him the heartbreak. It’s not like he was wrong. The further you lead Dohyun on, the more hurt he’ll be in the end when he finds out you do not reciprocate mutual feelings.

You also can’t forget the soft look in Jeongguk’s eyes. It was a look that you’d never seen on his face before and one that you didn’t think he was capable of showing considering his intimidating aura. But if there’s one thing you learned, it’s that Jeongguk is far from intimidating underneath all those piercings, ink, and black clothes. 

God, you just wanted this date to be over so you can tell Jeongguk to fuck off his shift for the night and go somewhere so the two of you can spend some time together. 

“Uh yeah, I’m okay,” You take a sip of your wine this time. “I’m fine. It’s just a little hot in here.” You’re praying he buys that excuse for your flushed face. You exaggerate it by fanning yourself with the menu listed with the different alcoholic beverages. 

“Oh no,” Dohyun looks worried. “Do you want to go somewhere else?” He asks seriously. 

“No no,” You wave off. “I’ll be okay. Thank you though.” You reassure him with a small smile. You are not about to drag this night out any longer. 

Dohyun nods though he looks a bit unconvinced. You fiddle with your fingers, unsure of what else to say. The silence between the two of you is awkward. You’re staring down into your lap while Dohyun opens and closes his mouth as if he wants to say something but holds himself back. 

“So Y/N,” You look up at Dohyun. “You probably already have an idea why I asked you out to dinner.” You try not to make it obvious when your eyes become a little wider, your heart dropping in your chest. “I mean..” He chuckles a bit, scratching the back of his neck. “We’ve known each other for so long. I remember watching you as a kid, thinking you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.” You try to smile but you think it looks more like a grimace. 

“I remember when one of the kids your mom would set you up with for playdates was being so mean to me  but you just…came to the rescue and told them to leave me alone.” The memory was quite vivid to you only because ever since that day, you noticed how Dohyun would start bringing you small gifts like a flower from the garden or pieces of candy. “That’s when I knew I started to develop feelings for you.” 

And there it is. The expression on his face is filled with admiration and love as he stares at you intently, pouring his heart out to you and confessing his feelings. Something you’ve always feared because you knew that by the end of this, he was going to leave with a broken heart. You let yourself get way too far and led him to this point. Now it’s your job to end it. 

“I just really want to tell you that I’ve always loved–” 

Dohyun gets interrupted when Jeongguk arrives with a tray carrying your entrees. “Alright you guys, the food is here.” Dohyun’s face drops, falling silent at the interruption while you’re filled with relief, exhaling out a breath. You look up at Jeongguk only to catch him already looking at you, giving you a small wink that Dohyun isn’t able to see. 

“Filet mignon for you,” Jeongguk sets down the plate in front of Dohyun who thanks him in response with a polite smile. “And risotto for the pretty lady,” Jeongguk emphasizes pretty and you bite your lip to hide the smile that threatens to form on your face. 

“Thank you, Jeongguk,” Your foot brushes against his ankle purposely when you uncross your legs and he just looks at you with a certain glint in his eyes, a pierced eyebrow raised at the gesture. 

“No problem,” He clears his throat, breaking eye contact so it doesn’t look so obvious to Dohyun. “Is there anything else you guys need?” 

Dohyun looks at you in question and you shake your head as a no in response. He then looks back up at Jeongguk and gives him a grateful smile, “No, we’re good. Thanks, man.” 

“Yeah, no problem. I’ll be back to check on you guys,” He informed you and it sounded like he was mostly talking to you from the way he looks at you, eyes lingering before leaves. He needs to stop making it so damn obvious. 

“So…” Dohyun is about to start talking but you interrupt him. 

“Let’s eat, I’m starving,” You immediately pick up the fork and dig into the feed even though you had no appetite to consume food. If anything, you felt nauseous. You’re dreading the conversation that you’re about to have. 

“Wow,” Dohyun’s eyes are wide as he chews his food. “This steak is amazing.” He gushes, cutting into the meat with his knife and fork before holding it in your direction. “You need to try this.” 

You shake your head, “Oh no, I’m okay. Thank you though.” You politely decline and give him a grateful smile. 

“No seriously,” He responds. “You have to try this.” He seems persistent, wiggling his fork towards you with a bite of the tender-looking steak. You gulp, noticing how he’s leaning forward in anticipation with an eager look in his eyes. You’re about to lean forward, lips parted to take a bite but Jeongguk being the savior he is–God, you can just kiss him–comes back. 

“You guys look like you’re running low on wine so I brought some more,” Jeongguk chirps, moving Dohyun’s arm back so he can pour into the glass. You bite down on your lower lip to keep yourself from smiling widely, meeting Jeongguk’s eyes with a thankful expression. You opt to stare at his beautiful inked hands pouring into the wine glass as you try not to make it obvious when your hand secretly strokes his thigh. You hold back a laugh when you notice him slightly flinch out of surprise, jaw clenching, and eyes narrowed when he glances at you.

You feign a look of innocence and say, “Thank you for the wine.” You’re grateful that the table is high enough that Dohyun can’t see how Jeongguk takes his left hand while the right is still holding the bottle and squeezes your hand. 

Jeongguk clears his throat, 

“Thanks, Jeongguk,” Dohyun gives him an appreciative smile, “I was just trying to get Y/N to try the filet mignon.” 

“Oh yes,” Jeongguk says, attempting to sound professional and you bite back a laugh, “Many customers rave over the filet mignon. The cows were fed organic grass which is one of the reasons why it’s so delectable.” 

Organic grass? What the fuck is he even saying? 

You know damn well he’s trying to be funny but the way he said it with a straight face would make one think he’s serious. For example, Dohyun looked utterly fascinated by the thought. 

“Wow, are they really?” 

Jeongguk snorts but quickly covers it with a cough, “Yeah man. Don’t you know? Those cows are living their best life. Better than you and I,” Jeongguk takes the fork out of Dohyun’s hand and the other boy just stares at him, eyes wide in curiosity. He grabs the piece of steak that was originally meant for you and slides the bite into his mouth before giving Dohyun the fork back. Jeongguk scrunches up his face in delight, almost looking angry as he chews before he lets out a sigh and looks back at Dohyun. “Dare I say the cows are living a better life than Y/N too.” 

You cover your face, unable to hold back your giggles while Dohyun just looks confused now. Jeongguk has a small smile on his face as he glances at you, feeling accomplished for making you laugh so cutely. 

“I have to ask my uncle about this if it’s true,” Dohyun shakes his head, expression full of surprise as he looks deep in thought. “He owns a farm so maybe he can start doing that too.” 

Jeongguk looks like he’s trying not to burst out laughing this time but instead nods, “Yeah let me know what he says, man.” 

“Jeongguk, Suho is calling you to the back,” A waiter whispers into his ear, “Like now.” 

“Now?” Jeongguk asks and the other waiter nods. He looks back at you and sees you swallow nervously. This means Jeongguk can no longer save you from delaying this any further. It’s either now or never. 

You look back at Jeongguk and give him a reassuring nod in a subtle manner to tell him it’s okay if he leaves. He glances over at Dohyun, noticing how the other boy is tapping his foot impatiently beneath the table as if waiting for Jeongguk to leave so he can pick up where he left off. 

“Alright,” Jeongguk clears his throat, “Looks like I’m needed in the back. Are you guys good?” He asks, mostly directing the question at you based on the direct eye contact he makes, eyebrow raised. 

You give him an appreciative smile, “I’m good. Thank you, Jeongguk.” 

“Me too. Thanks, Jeongguk!” Dohyun says a slight eagerness following his tone. 

“Okay cool, be right back.” He tells you, sending you a small comforting smile. You let out a deep breath, looking over at Dohyun who’s already staring at you with a nervous expression on his face. 

“Y/N, there’s something I need to tell you. I’ve been meaning to tell you for so long but…” Dohyun twiddles with his fingers resting on top of the table. “I would just get so nervous and chicken out,” He chuckles at himself with a shake of his head. “I’ve always admired you and your kindness. Your kindness is what drew me to you more than anything. Comforting people when they’re upset and going out of your way to make them feel better.” Your lips turn up into a small smile at his words but your chest aches out of guilt with what you’re about to do. “Basically, what I’m trying to tell you is that…I uh really really like you. I’ve liked you since we were kids. Maybe even love.” Dohyun lets out a quivering laugh, avoiding eye contact. “I was wondering if you’d give me a chance.” 

Your throat feels like it’s closing up as you hear his words, processing them clearly. The feeling of your heart pounding against your chest and beating in your ears, your face feeling warm and flushed. You look down at your hands in your lap, playing with the ring on your index finger as you let out a shaky breath through your lips. 

“Dohyun…you’ve always been a sweet guy,” You begin, “So selfless and always thinking of others.” You add and he nods, a smile playing on his lips from your compliment. “But I…I’m sorry,” You feel your eyes stinging as you notice the smile vanish from his face, lips pursing in despair. “I don’t see you that way.” You finally say. 

His face crumples a bit, shoulders and head dropping as soon as the words leave your lips. He looks down into his lap and you swear you can hear him sniffling a bit. The silence between you two is almost deafening, the sound of other customers and cutlery being the only thing you hear. 

“I’m really sorry,” You say again, eyes welling up a bit because of how bad you feel. “I probably shouldn’t have even said yes to you because it seems like I’ve led you on but I just didn’t know how to tell you no.” 

Dohyun just nods in response, not moving a single inch from his position and his lack of words is killing you. You notice Jeongguk peeking at you from behind the door, locking eyes with you. He immediately notices the sorrowful look on your face, stepping forward to approach you but you quickly shake your head. 

Not yet, you try to tell him. You think this conversation needs to end with closure. You don’t want to leave without making sure he’s okay. You know he’s not okay and he probably won’t be for some time. He’s had feelings for you for so long, he must feel so crushed by your rejection. 

When Dohyun finally lifts his head up to look at you, you feel your chest ache at his red-rimmed eyes and quivering lips. “Y-You won’t even give me a chance? Like… not even if I take you on more dates a-and maybe let you get to know me better?” He wipes his nose with the back of his hand, sniffling. 

You shake your head, a sad smile on your lips. “I’m sorry…I just,” You look over at Jeongguk who’s talking to another customer while constantly glancing at you in concern. “I like someone else.” You tell him, feeling like absolute shit. You just didn’t know what else you could’ve told him for him to completely let you go. You had to tell him the truth. 

His face shows pure anguish, looking completely defeated. “So I-I don’t stand a chance against him?” He asks, voice hoarse. 

“I’m sorry,” is the only thing you think you can say in response to that. 

He just nods, head hanging low and lets out a quiet. “Okay.” 

“Everything good?” Jeongguk decides to cut in, saving you from this painful moment. 

Dohyun just looks up and Jeongguk in response and nods solemnly, “Yeah can we get the check please?” 

“Uh yeah sure,” Jeongguk responds. “Boxes?” 

“No thanks,” Dohyun immediately says, his voice cracking. “Y/N,” He looks at you properly for the first time. “Do you think I can get a r-ride home? I-I just don’t think I can…” He looks like he’s about to have a breakdown so you immediately cut in. 

“It’s okay. Don’t even worry about it.” Your voice is soft, feeling like you need to speak to him in a delicate manner because he may break any second. “I’ll call my driver.” 

“Okay,” Dohyun nods. “I’m gonna go. I’ll see you on Monday.” He says quickly before getting up swiftly. There’s a fresh set of tears in his eyes and he nods at Jeongguk. Head hanging low with his feet dragging across the floor, he walks towards the door without looking back. 

You stare at the door, never feeling this much guilt and regret in your life. Guilt for turning him down but also regret even accepting this date. You think saying yes to the date probably gave him high hopes that you had feelings for him in return. You should’ve come clean at the pool when he asked you out in the first place.  

“Oh god,” You cover your face with both hands. “I feel so awful. I feel so fucking awful. I can’t believe he cried.” Your throat feels tight and painful, unable to get the image of your head. 

“Hey hey,” Jeongguk looks around before kneeling beside you, hand on your arm, “It’s okay. You had to do it okay?” You nod but don’t move your hands away from your face. 

“I know I just can’t forget the look on his face,” You whisper into your hands. “I just feel so bad.” 

“I know Y/N. That wasn’t an easy thing to do,” Jeongguk acknowledges, rubbing his hand up and down your back in a comforting manner. 

Not only do you feel like a total asshole right now, you’re a little embarrassed at the fact that Jeongguk is seeing you on the verge of bursting into tears but you cannot help yourself. 

“Hey listen,” His voice is gentle and you feel him move closer to you, his chest pressing against your knee. “A lot of these people are looking at us and I don’t know if they know who you are but I don’t want it spreading around that you were crying in this boujee ass restaurant in the headlines tomorrow.” You chuckle a little taking the napkin he’s holding out for you, patting it beneath your eyes. 

“Thank you,” You say quietly, unable to look him in the eyes. 

“Of course,” He clears his throat. “I’m about to finish my shift soon. Um if you want, I can give you a ride home?” He offers before quickly adding. “Only if you want to. I won’t be offended if you just want your driver to pick you up.”

You finally look at him for the first time, taking slightly widened doe eyes, face looking soft. He’s tugging at the piercing on his lower lip, a nervous habit you’ve noticed from the time you’ve spent with him. 

“I would really appreciate that,” You inform him with a grateful smile. 

His shoulders visibly relax at your answer, a sigh escaping his lips. 

“Thank God you said that,” He pretends to wipe the sweat off his forehead, “I don’t think I was ready to handle the rejection.” He tells you and you feel like there’s some underlying truth to that. 

“The dude I’m crushing on is offering me a ride, who am I to say no?” You say bravely and he freezes, eyes wide and full of surprise with how you say that without a single stutter. 

“D-Dude you’re crushing on me?” He repeats, bringing his hand up to point his index finger at him. “Am I the dude you’re crushing on?” He asks in disbelief. 

You give him an ‘Are you joking’ look, pushing at his shoulder. “Who else is offering me a ride home here?” You ask him. 

“I’m sure tons of people would. You’re beautiful.” He says easily and you flush, not expecting that response at all. 

“Oh,” You look down at your lap with a smile on your lips. Feeling so flustered by his compliment, you change the subject. “Is it wrong to do all this after I just broke someone’s heart?” You ask him. 

Jeongguk shakes his head, “No, you did what you had to do, Y/N.” You nod, a slightly guilty expression appearing on your face once again. “Here,” He pulls out what looks like car keys from his back pocket. “Do you want to wait in my car while I finish up here?” 

You nod, grabbing the keys from him with a smile, “I’ll wait.” You grab your purse, pulling the strap onto your shoulder. Jeongguk also stands up from his kneeling position, brushing his black pants. 

Once you stand up, you have to peer up to look at him. Even with your heels on you, you’re still barely reaching his damn shoulder. 

Are you really that short or is he just super tall? 

“By the way,” You start, causing him to immediately pause from picking up the plate and giving you his full attention with the way he turns his body to look at you, eyes meeting yours. For some reason that makes your heart flutter. “Can you charge the dinner on my card?” You open your purse to pull out your tiny card holder. “It’s the least I can do for Dohyun.” You add, handing him the card. 

Jeongguk looks down at the card in his hand as if it’s the most fascinating thing he’s ever seen, eyes squinting before widening. He holds the card up to the light as if inspecting it before bringing it back down and closer to his face again.

“Um, is everything okay?” You ask in confusion. 

“Did you just hand me a black card?” His voice is full of surprise, mouth slightly ajar. 

“Yeah…” You trail off, looking down at your feet. 

Great, he must think you’re a spoiled brat. 

“Do you know the amount of unnecessary and useless shit I would buy if I had one of these?” He holds the card in his fingers as if it’s fine china. 

“I mean you can,” You respond and he just looks at you in disbelief.

“Baby you’re too sweet but I never thought about getting sugar mama.” He smirks before adding, “At least not anymore.” Your heart flutters and you try not to squeal at the fact that he casually called you ‘baby’. 

This man is trying to kill you. 

You pretend to act unbothered by his words with a roll of your eyes, shoving at his shoulder, “Shut up before I make you pay for this dinner.” You threaten and he immediately closes his mouth, turning towards the table. You laugh in response, shaking your head at him. 

“I’ll be out in 10 minutes,” He tells you and you nod, a smile on your face as you step towards the door already feeling a lot better just by talking to him. 

[saccharinescorpion]

4 Things You Can Try Now That You’ve Read THIS IS HOW YOU LOSE THE TIME WAR

(technically 5 things)

Mabel - a podcast by Becca De La Rosa and Maybell Marten.

Anna Limón is a home help worker currently looking after the elderly Sally Martin. When Sally has a bizarre and frightening reaction to a box of letters Anna finds in her attic one day, Anna attempts to seek answers by contacting Sally’s only known living relative: Mabel Martin.

“A podcast about ghosts, family secrets, strange houses, and missed connections,” Mabel is a story that is difficult to describe, but one of the most important points is that the vast majority of it is an epistolary narrative between Anna and Mabel, just like how This Is How You Lose The Time War is an epistolary narrative between Red and Blue. It also has a very distinct writing style- dramatic, flowery, and a little bit intimidating. However, if you loved the writing style of TIHYLTTW, I personally think that Mabel is a perfect match for you.

And I’m not just saying that because Mabel is a story about two extremely overdramatic women who are somehow both frighteningly caustic yet almost adorably useless.

The Honey Month - a book by Amal El-Mohtar 

I certainly hope I don’t have to tell you this, but Amal El-Mohtar is one of the authors of This Is How You Lose The Time War, and The Honey Month is a short book she wrote several years ago.

The Honey Month is almost more of an experiment than a book- in its introduction, a friend of El-Mohtar explains how she sent her several small samples of honey, leading El-Mohtar to use the gift as in a unique way. For one February, every day she used a different vial of honey as inspiration for a small piece of writing.

The Honey Month contains 28 short pieces of writing, poetry, prose, and some things in between. It’s a small book full of things with big impact, and contains the lyrical yet meaty writing I enjoyed from El-Mohtar in TIHYLTTW.

Otherside Picnic (裏世界ピクニック) - A series of novels by Iori Miyazawa (illustrated by Shirakaba)

College sophomore Sorawo Kamikoshi longs to find an escape from other people, and in trying to find it discovers the Otherside, a strangely beautiful yet unfathomably dangerous parallel world inhabited by the-once-fictional creatures she knows from net lore. She also meets Toriko Nishina, another young woman with a knowledge of firearms and a desire to find her missing mentor. Together, these two girls explore the Otherside and find themselves changing little by little, both due to their adventures, but also due to their relationship with each other.

If you know me you probably aren’t surprised at this reccomendation. Otherside Picnic is a truly odd beast- it’s sci-fi, it’s horror, it’s comedy, it’s yuri. It’s about trauma, it’s about Japanese creepypasta, it’s about useless lesbians, and it’s about how the scariest thing of all is being vulnerable with another human being. I think fans of  This Is How You Lose The Time War  will enjoy it- Otherside Picnic’s writing style will likely feel almost spartan compared to TIHYLTTW, but in my opinion there’s a similar level of poetry in it. There’s also a similar level of women who are “badass” yet kind of messes. You’ve heard of “Enemies to Lovers,” get ready for “Accomplices to Lovers”!

(there’s also a manga adaptation by Eita Mizuno, as well as an anime adaptation directed by Takuya Sato)

The Handmaiden (아가씨) - a movie directed by Park Chan-wook (written by Park and Chung Seo-kyung, based on the novel Fingersmith by Sarah Waters)

In Japan-occupied Korea, the pickpocket Sook-hee is recruited by a con-man to aide him in his scam of a Japanese heiress, Lady Hideko. While the con-man poses as “Count Fujiwara” and woos Hideko, Sook-hee will play the part of her maid and subtly push the heiress towards him. But as time passes, Sook-hee begins to realize there are things occuring in the mansion that are even more sinister than her and the Count’s scheme, and there is much, much more to Hideko than meets the eye.

This is a list of recommendations for “people who have finished “This Is How You Lose The Time War,” but I try to recommend The Handmaiden to as many people as I possibly can. I’ve described it in the past as the cinematic equivalent of running a marathon: with a 144 minute runtime full of gorgeous direction and set design, dark machinations, twisted yet romantic writing, often troubling themes, and so, so many plot twists, it’s a movie that nearly feels like too much of a good thing. But for fans of TIHYLTTW, I’m sure what will intrigue you most is the relationship between the two main characters, one so complicated that “Enemies to Lovers” can’t hope to capture the roiling feelings of pity, guilt, hatred, desire, annoyance, sympathy, and everything in between. 

It’s also just really hot.

The Handmaiden is a movie that is best enjoyed going in knowing as little as possible. That said, it is also a story with dark and often upsetting themes that are absolutely crucial to its narrative. If you are concerned about that statement,  I reccomend looking at the movies’ entry on DoesTheDogDie, which I have looked at and found to be a pretty comprehesive list of content warnings that can be examined in a way that doesn’t spoil the twists of the story.

Fingersmith - a novel by Sarah Waters

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I swear I’m going to get around to it!! I can’t technically recommend the book that inspired The Handmaiden since I haven’t read it yet, but I have at least one friend whose opinion I trust who sings its praises, so it’s good enough for me. Besides, if the recent popularity of This Is How You Lose The Time War has showed us anything, it’s that people constantly crave stories about complicated women, so it certainly can’t hurt, right?

[639-hear-me-out-bby]

pairing: namjoon x afab! pregnant! reader

warnings: pregnancy mentions (nothing heavy, just the idea of being pregnant)

a/n: hello! so this is just me testing my waters on writing again after losing my mind to an indefinite hiatus + studying. hope y'all enjoy!

"Well, aegi has been very active recently. As much as I hate to admit it babe, it's probably 'cause you've been home over the weekend." You say as you trail behind.

"Pregnancy is no joke in Korea, hon. I'll give it that." You say as you trail behind Namjoon who's been carrying yet another box to the nursery. "Well, that's what a hardworking country gets. All the economy, none of the kids," he trails off as he enters the nursery, "Watch yourself, baby. You, your clumsy self, and our soccer star."

What you say is true. As you've been reading relentlessly all the prenatal books the world has to offer. It's been saying that you should listen to classical music or, at least, play music so it stimulates the baby and you have been doing that but it's just not working.

But life has been colorful on the recent days. All this "baby prep", as Namjoon would call it, has you in a whirlwind. Deliveries and packages have built up on your home's doorstep the minute you've hit your second trimester.

Namjoon carefully sets down the box, brushing a stray hair out of his eyes as he turns to you, a soft smile lighting up his face. "Guess our little one knows when Appa's around," he says, his voice a mix of pride and amazement.

You walk over to the box he’s just placed, giving it a curious shake, and laugh as he raises an eyebrow at you. "What? I'm just trying to guess which of your 500 delivery orders this is," you tease.

He chuckles, reaching out to pull you close, his hand resting gently on your bump. "Hey, I can't help it if our baby deserves the best. Plus, I have to compensate for all those long work hours," he says, a bit of guilt lacing his words. You can tell he's still adjusting to balancing his passion for his career with this new life you're building together.

You lean your head on his shoulder, feeling his warmth seep into you, grounding you in this perfect moment. "Well, all that matters is that you're here now," you whisper, feeling your heart swell as he presses a gentle kiss to the top of your head.

As if on cue, the baby kicks—a strong, unmistakable nudge that has both of you jolting. You gasp, and Namjoon's eyes light up, pure joy spreading across his face as he drops to one knee, hands instantly resting on your belly. "Was that…? Oh, aegi, you’re going to be a real little champ," he murmurs softly to the bump.

The way he talks to your baby, that quiet adoration in his voice, makes you melt. He’s already so in love, and you realize this journey is going to be so much sweeter because of moments like this. Your hand rests on his, fingers lacing as you both stay there in the stillness, absorbing every flutter and heartbeat.

In that moment, you know that, yes, life is a whirlwind. But with him, it’s the most beautiful one you could ever imagine.

[absolutebl]

Hii do you have any recommendations for bl that’s similar to Bad Buddy, My School President, and Semantic Error? Idk I’m looking for something fluffy, but with some angst for flavor (also potentially school setting but it doesn’t have to be). Anyways thank you so much!! 💟💟

10 Fluffy Yet Angsty BLs + School Setting (By Request Rec List)

Examples: Bad Buddy, My School President, Semantic Error

Interesting selection. I added the "school setting" to keep me tailored down. Let's see what we got.

You'll never guess how we are gonna start...

Did ya guess?

Seven Days

Japan 2015 - grey

Never doubt my ability to recommend this show. One of the best live action yaois ever made, with perfectly structured angst, fantastic characters and acting, and no problematic tropes (rare in Japanese BL). The leads have excellent chemistry although it’s low heat there’s still some really cute mutual kisses.

I Cannot Reach You

AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai

Japan 2023 - Netflix

This classic friends-to-lovers BL is everything Japan does best. Angsty. Emo. Aching. Driven by real thirst. Yamato is deeply in love with his childhood bestie, Kakeru, and has been for ages, unable to hide his ungainly damaging high school need. He wants Kakeru in every way possible and it oozes off of the screen. Kakeru is silly and a little simple, but not frenetic or overly camp about it. He is earnest, and genuinely wants to keep Yamato in his life which means giving a romance (and gayness) a fair chance. We watch him realize his affection and what form it can take in a truly authentic way. This show was impossibly kind to both of its lead characters and I felt almost honored that I got to watch something so lovely and rare play out on my screen. Full review.

Light On Me

Korea 2021 Viki

Korea does an elegant pastiche of traditional live action yaoi but all tropes are cleverly deployed to bolster one of the most riveting love triangles ever put on screen… and I don’t like love triangles. LoM strategically tailors classic BL tropes to 2 different semes resulting in pristine pacing, plot, and character development, explicitly serving narrative (not just to tick boxes). LoM is a master class in this trope drops. (If you write fanfic or romance you should study this show.) Full review.

Cherry Blossoms After Winter

Korea 2022 Viki

Korea took on early Japanese sweet yaoi but gave it their signature softness and precise production with a STUNNING color palette (beautiful pastels, sun-saturated over-exposure), manga framg style, some traditional BL character archetypes, that tiny edge of bullying roughness and out-of-control seme, plus FINALLY a palatable take on the stepbrothers trope and it was, in a word, classic. Sophisticated and understated CBAW is not slow, it’s just subtle. It's dream-like and atmospheric, as if the whole thing took place under cold water on a warm spring day. Is there plot or peril? Not really. Do we care? Also, not really. Look, I can’t help it, I’m old school and so is this show. I grew up reading sweet yaoi, and this was THAT YAOI just on my screen. There’s no objectivity with me and this show. It’s a beautiful pastiche and I loved it for how it made me feel and what it remded me of. It’s not flawless, but it is a wonderful experience. Full review.

Takara-kun and Amagi-kun

Japan 2022 Gaga and Viki

I gnawed on my knuckles and squealed a lot with this show. Reserved cool kid who must learn to communicate to keep the tiny disaster nugget he’s madly in love with. It is beyond charmg: soft and gentle, packed with cuteness and high school angst, thirst, & yearning. Was there plot? Not really. Was it emotionally tense and paced well enough for me not to notice? Absolutely. Did I enjoy the hell out of it? Oh yes. Full review.

Blueming

Korea 2022 - iQIYI

It’s a tiny bit dark and a tiny bit bittersweet, almost too honest to a university experience and first love for BL, but if you want your md ever-so-slightly messed with and your intimacy hellishly sweet, this BL will do it for you in a coldly distant manner, while bitch slapping you with self worth issues. I wasn’t into it at first, but the leads are solid and by ep 5 it got really good, becomg a narrative about self discovery meets understanding and accepting others people’s flaws without hurting them. Ultimately we witnessed two characters maturing because of each other and their mutual affection, without that affection becomg the conflict point. Instead, tension was built around other aspects of identity, popularity, and self-worth. While production values were a touch lower than usual for Korea, Bluemg included decent kisses and other forms of intimacy and a satisfying ending plus there’s judicious and very elegant use of tropes, this is a great BL. Full review.

About Youth

Taiwan 2022 - Gaga

A truly lovely little coming of age high school BL with a classic YA low drama but high angst and an earnest depth. I didn’t even mind the singing, and that’s saying a lot. A weak seme/uke dynamic but tons of BL tropes (both rare in a high school setting but common for Taiwan) makes this one feel both sweet and colored by real world authenticity and grit. Full review.

My Love Mix Up

AKA Kieta Hatsukoi

Japan 2021 - Viki

Completely adorable absolute chaos bi disaster muffin falls accidentally and utterly in love with his classmate, hijinx and friendship result. What’s great about this BL is that it deals with things like homophobia, asexuality, and one sided affection in an extremely gentle and palatable way. Perhaps sometimes too subtle, but I believe this is a great show for younger audiences, particularly if you want to spark conversations about identity, sexuality, authority, truthfulness, and consent. Oh and it’s funny.

The Eclipse

Thai 2022 - YouTube

GMMTV does gay Blacklist with a good boy/bad boy pairing. This is a good show but the cast is excellent and the leads are absolutely flawless, which elevates it beyond just good. We got a nuanced and multifaceted burgeoning relationship: philosophical (and socio-political) conflict contrasted to moments of empathy; flirtation contrasted to moments of genuine affection, plus plenty of angst. This narrative is less about love than it is about courage and tenderness. However, near the end the pacing was off and the plot frustrating. Still, this is an enjoyable watch, with a finale that features verbal consent and a fun blooper reel.

Destiny Seeker

Thai 2023 - WeTV

Frankly this probubly ranks along side most of hte runners up, but it's chronically under watched so I wanted to give it a special shout out.

A darn near perfect pulp featuring 3 likable grumpy/sunshine pairings with uncomplicated iterations of enemies to lovers. At least one half of each does a decent amount of pining and there’s good chemistry, classic tropes, and communication rep. It’s fun and full of linguistic jokes. Sublimely cheesy but a good rainy day offering with tons of rewatch potential. Full review.

Honorable mention

These satisfy your criteria but I jsut personally like the above 10 better. And you did ask me, still OPTIONS!

2gether & Still 2gether

A Breeze of Love

Between Us

Dark Blue Kiss (+ Kiss Me Again - PeteKao Cut)

Hidden Agenda

Love By Chance

Love Class

Love Class 2

SOTUS

Star in My Mind

TharnType

Theory of Love

Why R U? Thailand

Why R U? Korea

(source)

[madameaug]

Wash Day || PJM x Black Fem Reader

inspo You're hair is really soft (Pinterest)

*woman in gif is not a face claim

yn: hey baby i'm getting ready to start washing my hair. so i'll be slow to respond if you text me within the next seven hours <3

jimin: seven hours ???

jimin: wait can i help

yn: uhh sure. if you want i'm unraveling my braids now

You sat your phone down, focusing on the ombre brown box braid in your hand. It was officially fall, and it was time to take out your late summer hairstyle. You stretched this style longer than usual due to your recent visit to South Korea. You came to celebrate Jimin's birthday and spent the remaining three weeks sightseeing before returning to your country.

The once neat squares were now fuzzy and overgrown. You were excited to see this much new growth spreading across your scalp. You peeked over your phone, seeing Jimin hearted your final text message. Jimin never shied away from asking you questions about your natural hair. Of course, he knew about the versatility of black hair, but now that his girlfriend was black, he felt he could become better informed.

"Yeobo." Jimin cooed, taking off his black puffer jacket. His eyes shining with pure love, looking at you. Despite half of your hair sticking out.

Jimin bent over and laid a kiss on your lips. He sat down before you, feet crossed and tucked underneath his body. "I'm ready to be your assistant."

You demonstrated to Jimin where to cut and how to unravel your braids. Like a good student, Jimin watched you take down some braids. Watching how generous you were with the detangler, using the rat tail comb to pick at those annoying knots.

Jimin was so gentle, slowly detangling your hair. Starting from the ends of your hair as you taught him. With each crinkly track of hair that Jimin removed, more and more of your natural hair was revealed. He showered your hair with compliments, not caring about the specks of dirt or clusters of hardened gel.

Starting your natural hair journey was something always intimate to you. It was your hair. Your crown. It was a part of your identity. Whether it was short, long, kinky, or curly. It grew from your scalp and was a testament to strength. Not letting Western beauty standards strip you of the beauty you were handed down from your ancestors. And for him, Jimin, your non-black boyfriend, to engage with your natural hair. You felt connected with him on another level.

In no time, an hour to be exact, you and Jimin finished unraveling all the braids. Your afro was extended high and moved like blades of grass in the wind. Jimin sweetly called your hair cotton candy.

"Your hair is so soft. I love it in this state." He leaned back on the couch, proud of his work.

"Na ah. We still got more work to do; now we have to wash it."

No complaint left Jimin's mouth as he rolled off the couch.

"Okay, but I wanna take a picture. Your hair is so cute right now." You playfully rolled your eyes but stretched out your hair to look suitable for the picture. Knowing Jimin, he was going to make this photo be his lock screen for who knows how long. With his hands around your hips, Jimin pulled you in close. His full lips puckered, kissing your cheek. Your eyes were closed, giving the camera a beautiful smile.

Reviewing the image, Jimin laughed, seeing that your afro covered a good portion of his face. But his lips on your cheek were still evident. Clearing out your kitchen sink, you explained to Jimin how each product would help your hair. He was simply taken aback by the six bottles that were sitting on the sink.

Jimin held the faucet spout over your hair, impressed at how your hair was repelling the stream of water. Jimin counted the sixty-seconds it took for your hair to start dripping from the water.

"So this is what you mean by low-porosity?"

"Yeah, it takes a while for my hair to get wet and for my hair to dry. Well at least air dry."

You squirted the coconut-scented shampoo in your hand. Ensuring that you scratched up any dirt in your hair. The scalp massage was your favorite part of washing your hair. You reached for Jimin's hands, getting them into your hair. His hands massaging your hair, hitting all the itchy spots.

"This is so satisfying, not gonna lie." You physically relaxed into Jimin's body. Despite the slightly uncomfortable bridge position you were in. You didn't mind as you watched Jimin wash your hair. You recognized his look of determination as he gave care to each area of your scalp.

"Gimme kiss." This time, you were puckering your lips for a kiss. Jimin didn't hesitate. Since your time in Korea, you have not had the opportunity to have a 'down' day with Jimin. Either he was taking you to a new part of the country he wanted you to see. Or you were working remotely from your laptop. You weren't working odd hours due to conflicting time zones. You were finding peace in the little things, like watching Jimin breathe. Your hands traced his jawline, feeling his bare skin. Not many things if life are 'perfect', but this moment between you and Jimin would be close. You basked in the moment. Not wanting this moment to end. Not enjoying your time to end.

"I love you."

"I love you more."

"Impossible." Jimin rinsed the shampoo, repeating the process with conditioner and deep conditioner. Jimin hadn't even noticed the time just flying by. He was just going along with the flow. Watching you section off your hair before blow drying it. The sections displayed an obvious contrast in the apparent 'length' of your hair. When soaking wet it was barely near your ear. Yet after being stretched by the blow dryer, it was at your collarbone.

"What do you need help with next?"

"This next part is pretty simple. I'm just gonna do five cornrows, then call it a night. You've been such a help, babe."

"Teach me how to do it." Jimin patted on the carpeted ground for you to sit in between his legs. In a matter of thirty minutes, Jimin mastered cornrows. Something that took you months, maybe even years to make them look presentable.

"Had I known you were this fast learner, I would have taught you this when we met." You looked at the five braids. You looked at the time, noticing that only four hours had passed. Jimin helped you shave off three hours of wash day.

"Glad to be of help."

I feel like I'm constantly changing my format when writing these imagines. Oh well. Life has been good lately, hope life has been good to everyone too <33

I'm def looking forward to the discourse on Golden over the next few days.