#beautiful & smart & so perfect in every way you know how it is. utterly unparalleled!!! happy new year everyone!!!!!!!!!!!

[neige-leblanche]

i dont believe in angels except what she is!!!!!!

[lighteyed]

growing pains ❀ peter parker

summary : if there’s anyone terrified of the future and the uncertainty it brings, it’s peter parker. luckily, you’re his shoulder to lean on, and, as he hopes, always will be. 

word count : 1.5k

  Peter took great pride in his intelligence, his knowing of things that other people were not as aware of or didn’t bother trying to learn. He was a collector of knowledge and knew too much about a little bit of everything. Above all else, this was one of the main reasons as to why the future, and the looming threat of it, was an anxiety inducing topic of conversation. 

   What college are you planning on attending? His palms start sweating.

   What do you want to be when you grow up? His heart starts pounding. 

   Do you always want to live in New York? Blood rushes to his ears. 

   Is Y/N always going to be a part of your life? The worst question of all, the one that made his face go red and his knees go weak as he tried to come up with a plausible answer in just a few short seconds. It was the one question that had no defining response to it. There was no way to tell. College, he could figure that out in no time. He could go Ivy if he really wanted to. He knew that he’d end up doing something related to science when he was older, after Spider-Man was long since retired. He loved New York with all his hearts, loved Queens most of all, and couldn’t see himself being anywhere else. He’d never leave Aunt May, either, at least not so soon. 

   But with relationships, especially the ones you have at fifteen years old with a mind clouded in the wonderful pieces of your first beautiful love, you never really know for sure. And Peter Parker is a boy who likes knowing for sure. The fact that he doesn’t has been practically haunting him for the past few weeks now, as summer comes to a close and Junior year is just too visible on the horizon. 

   Unfortunately for him, Peter was not the type of person that was an expert at concealing their feelings. In fact, he was rather an open book, at least to someone who knew him as perfectly as you did. To you, Peter wore his heart on his sleeve and was undoubtedly honest to a fault. His expressions, his mannerisms, were enough to clue you in to when he was upset, stressed, angry, and each emotion in between. 

   Which was why you could tell he was distraught the moment he walked into your room, flopping down onto your bed with a slight pout visible on his lip. He played it off like he was perfectly perfect, but you knew better. He’d been reading on your bed for over an hour without a word and while typically you’d enjoy just being in his presence, talking aside, there was something different about tonight. “Pete?” He lifted his eyes from the page he had been struggling to read for the pat fifteen minutes. “You okay?” Concerning gaze, worried twist of your mouth, he knew the look on his face was conveying anything but happiness- and he was so, so happy to be there with you. The prospect of the future, these growing pains he had feeling more and more frequently, was what was causing him the discomfort. 

     Despite knowing that you weren’t going to believe, he gave you a sweet smile anyway and nodded vigorously. “O-Of course, my love.” His smile stretched wider. “Why- why wouldn’t I be?” That look of innocence was utterly deceiving. 

   “You’re a really bad liar,” you replied, shaking your head. Propping yourself up on your elbows, you took his novel away from him and ignored the indignant sound of protest that passed his lips when you did so. You held up your hands and with a defeated huff, Peter laced his fingers through yours. “What’s on your mind, Peter Parker? You know you can tell me anything.” 

   “Yeah, yeah, no I know.” His voice was quiet as he stroked your hand, gentle as ever, absentmindedly with the pad of his thumb. His gaze was focused on your hands and not your eyes the way it usually was. 

    “Then look at me, would you?” You took one of your hands out of his and placed it under his chin, tilting his face up toward you. “C’mon, brown eyes, why are you so stressed lately? It’s the summertime, we’re gonna be juniors. If you’re upset about something, I wanna know what it is.” 

    His weakness, as always, was you and that unparalleled way you had of convincing him to relent . “I’m, um, I’m scared, I guess.” The admission came with an obvious hesitation on his part, but you waited patiently for your boyfriend to continue. “Scared of the future,” he elaborated. 

    You moved your hand again to cup his cheek, soft as usual. “What about the future?” 

    “Well I, I kind of take pride in being, you know, smart and knowing pretty much everything,” he hated how conceited he sounded in that moment, but you nodded along anyway and squeezed his hand comfortingly. “But, the future is- it’s, like, the one thing I can’t know. That scares me Y/N. I hate that. Because I need to know the future. I need to know what’s gonna happen to me, to… to, um, to us.” 

   You opened your mouth to give him a reply, but he was on a roll, quickly intercepting the chance to speak more, which you gave him without protest. “You… you know how I feel about you. You make me the best possible version of myself and you are the most supportive person I’ve ever met besides Ned who’s more like my fan club than anything but he’s my best friend so it doesn’t really matter but anyway,” he let out a breath, “I am- I am so lucky to have you in my life, you know? So lucky to even be existing at the same time as someone so wonderful inside and out. A- And I… I can’t think of… of being without you. Okay? It scares me.” 

    The vulnerable boy in front of you had your heart, no doubt about that. You sat up, crossing your legs and opening your arms, knowing he’d be wrapping himself around you in no time at all. He had his head on your shoulder and his  delicate curls were tickling your cheek because of his permanent bedhead and you could both feel your hearts swelling with love for the other person. He rearranged himself so that his head was in your lap, staring up at you with those doe eyes that made your stomach fill with butterflies.  

    “You’re a sweetheart, Peter.” You ran your hands through his hair the way he adored and you heard him let out the happiest of sighs, a tiny smile, this time genuine, appearing on his face. “And in case you didn’t realize already, I want us to be together for as long as humanely possible. Forever, maybe. I know we can’t be certain of anything that happens to us, but I’m certain that in this moment, you’re the only person I want to be with. There’s no telling what will happen to us a year from now, or ten years from now, but right now, you’re my whole heart, okay? Don’t worry.”  

      Maybe it was the way you were looking at him, maybe it was because you called him your whole heart in the same breath as saying that you wanted to be with him forever, but almost every ounce of Peter’s worries about growing up and getting older slipped from his mind as you leaned down to press a gentle kiss to his forehead in the tender way that you always loved him. 

    “Can you get me a sharpie?” He asked, pointing toward your bedside table. You reached over and handed it to him, giving him a questioning look. He took the cap off and stuck it in his mouth for a second, lifting up your hand and drawing a thin, somewhat haphazard circle around your ringer finger. He drew a little circle on the front of it before taking the cap and placing it on the marker again. “That’s a permanent marker. Just like my love for you.” 

   You giggled, you couldn’t help it, and raised your hand so you could get a better view. “Your love for me is a permanent marker, huh, Pete?” He laughed too, but his cheeks still went pink in the way that made you grin. 

    “You’re so annoying!” He groaned, playfully glaring up at you from his spot on your lap. “Let me be the smooth talking one for once!” You took his face in your hands again, your face above his. 

    “Nah, I like my Peter a blushing, beautiful mess. Never change.” 

    “If I never change, does that guarantee we’ll always be together?” 

     The sweet innocence of him was what made you adore him, the hopeful smile he gave you as he asked the question. And a question like that requires only one answer. “We’ve already grown up together. Forever isn’t that much different, huh?” He sat right up at that, unable to contain his happiness when he wrapped his arms around your waist and practically tackled you in a tight embrace that he had no plans of letting you out of at any point in his life. He’d be utterly ridiculous to let the girl who knew best how to comfort him, how to ease his worries, and was there for him through everything get away. 

    Even through the pains of growing up.