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mightyflamethrower · 1 year ago

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A one-time stripper in this photo said she used Hunter Biden as an "ATM."

MORE ON:HUNTER BIDEN

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Hunter Biden sold himself to Chinese and Ukrainian officials as a brilliant conduit to the halls of American power, a closer on the rise who could leverage his vice president father’s clout to get deals done around the globe.

But as his abandoned laptop revealed, behind closed doors the future first son was a crack-addled, selfie-obsessed sex fiend with a roster of hookers bigger than the bureaucracies of some small countries.

And now, an ex-stripper from his past has come forward to confirm the tawdry and pathetic character cloaked in designer suits — and to mock the party boy as a patsy who was led around by the nose.

Far from a bull or a bear, the first son was an easily manipulated “puppy” dog, according to the former exotic dancer who went by the stage name Kennedy.

The Post agreed to withhold her real name because she fears for her and her family’s safety.

She admitted she fleeced the first son for nearly $20,000 during her relationship with him from 2018 to 2019. This was the same period of time Hunter Biden was notoriously polishing his credentials as an international power broker and raking in millions for himself and his family.

“He was like a dog that I dragged and led on,” Kennedy, 35, told a researcher from the nonprofit investigative organization Marco Polo in a stunning text exchange obtained by The Post. “I just led him on and played with him like a walking ATM.Hunter biden was an easily manipulated “puppy” dog, according to former stripper “Kennedy.”

“I had a few guys like Hunter who I would lead on and take tips and shopping from and leave them ‘hanging.’ It’s part of the stripper gig. Get all you can out of these idiots and move on.”

Kennedy’s remarks come just days after Hunter Biden’s business partner Devon Archer offered testimony to the House Oversight Committee, revealing that Joe Biden phoned into meetings with business associates on at least 20 occasions. Both Hunter Biden and Archer served on the board of Burisma, a Ukrainian energy company, whose CEO, Mykola Zlochevsky, also allegedly compared Hunter Biden to a dog.

“Zlochevsky made some comment that although ‘Hunter Biden was stupid, and his dog was smarter,’ Zlochevsky needed to keep Hunter Biden [on the board] ‘so everything will be okay,'” an FBI informant told the bureau in June 2020. Hunter was appointed to the board of Burisma — despite having no relevant experience — in April 2014 and earned $83,333 per month. Hunter Biden and his family made at least $17 million from foreign sources, according to IRS whistleblowers who investigated his finances.Burisma Holdings CEO Mykola Zlochevsky allegedly claimed that his dog was smarter than Hunter Biden, according to an FBI informant.

“I was able to finesse Hunter without sex because I’m beautiful and smart,” Kennedy wrote in the phone texts. “I saw a whale and took advantage, It was that easy.”

Kennedy told Marco Polo she met Hunter Biden “through the strip club” and admitted that they “had sex once with protection.”

“He’s a piece of s—t but most addicts are,” Kennedy noted. “He was a f—king crackhead.

She hauled in at least $19,350 from Hunter Biden between January 2018 and January 2019, according to records contained on his abandoned laptop.

But Kennedy changed her tune in an exclusive interview with The Post this week at her Queens home. She insisted she had been “trolling” Marco Polo and didn’t really mean what she said about Hunter. She also accused Marco Polo of acting unprofessionally.

Hunter Biden seeks approval from his dad Joe and fears ‘he’ll never be as good as his brother’ Beau: ex-stripper

“He would say aggressive things to me to make me text back,” she said of the Marco Polo researcher who contacted her, adding without evidence that he had been “sexually harassing me through texts for weeks until I finally responded to him.” Marco Polo denied the allegation.

She claimed she met Hunter Biden by happenstance at a tanning salon she owned. She would not give the salon’s name or location.

The heavily-tattooed stay-at-home mom maintained her relationship with Biden was genuine, insisting she never slept with him for cash. “The girls I knew would meet Hunter when he would frequent the club. He asked one of the girls, ‘Do you know where I could get a good spray tan?’ and they gave him my card,” Kennedy said. “He came to my one-room salon that I rented and got a spray tan. He tipped me $500 and I was like ‘WTF? Who is this guy?’ And one of the girls texted me that we gave Joe Biden’s son your card.”

She claimed she left stripping in 2016 to work as a professional tanner and go to beauty school.

She insisted payments from Hunter had been only to help with tuition and other life expenses, and that she tried to help him with his addiction.

In one hard drive photo, a fully nude Hunter Biden has his hand around Kennedy’s neck in what appears to be a hotel bathroom, as she seductively poses in fishnet lingerie.

The pair also shared wildly passionate exchanges.

“I’m really in love with you. I know that seems silly and probably a little to [sic] much vulnerability to you but I think you’re extraordinary (when you’re being nice to me) woman and would love to be whatever you would want me to be in your life,” Hunter Biden texted Kennedy December 2018.

The two frequently went out for romps to strip clubs and fancy dinners at posh restaurants such as Nobu. Photos on the hard drive show the two frequently partying together.

Biden’s claim he had no role in Hunter’s foreign business dealings ‘categorically false’: Devon Archer

In a darker moment, three months later, Hunter Biden confessed to her that he felt suicidal.

“Leave me alone. I’m really close to never f–ing caring about whether I exist or not. So just pretend I don’t and everyone else can do the same because clearly I’m making everyone miserable,” he wrote.

Kennedy even met Hallie Biden — Hunter’s sister-in-law who dated Hunter after his brother Beau’s death.

“They came to my salon for a spray tan. This is the only way I know these people, and they would say, ‘Do you want to go have dinner with us?'” She would often give tanning products as gifts to Hunter’s kids.

Kennedy’s birthday is saved in Hunter Biden’s online calendar — an honor only reserved for Biden family members.

Far from a polished international man of business, she described Hunter as a little lost “puppy.”

“I tried to do damage control when I found out he had been meeting girls from the club. I said do you know how dangerous these people are to have around you without good intentions?” she said.

Intelligence experts agreed, warning that Hunter — who has been open about his drug addiction — posed a national security risk.

“It stands to reason that Hunter would have access to information and influence with his father and that he is in this vulnerable state due to his addictions and proclivities for unseemly behavior. I think it presents a significant national security threat,” said Steve Friend, a former FBI special agent and senior fellow at the Center for Renewing America, a conservative nonprofit.

“Joe Biden has said he is a devoted family man and so he is advertising his own vulnerabilities there. He could jeopardize the security of the nation in order to protect his family member.”1056

Kennedy said Hunter hinted at the tumult to come when she last saw him in the spring of 2019. Hunter Biden left his laptop at a Delaware computer repair shop in April of that year.

“I was at a beauty convention in Philadelphia and he said to me, ‘I need to talk to you, let’s meet for dinner.’ He said, ‘There are things about me that are coming out. I want you to not believe them. None of them are true,'” she said.

“The last time I saw Hunter he said to me, ‘Promise me that you will just be my friend.”

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suchananewsblog · 2 years ago

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Paul Cauthen Gets Funky, Nasty on New Song 'Hometeam'

The Texas wildman brings horns and swag to his latest offering with producer Beau Bedford “Hit it, quit it, live it, spit it….get nasty,” Paul Cauthen croons in his new song “Hometeam.” Like the tracks on his 2022 album Country Coming Down, the song leans hard into funk sounds and swaggering attitude. In fact, it’s so over-the-top that it’s easy to wonder if Cauthen is trolling you. Listen to…

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roshellow29 · 2 years ago

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Green horse belongs to @ nichole-jones-and-friends

Horses whom are doctors

#trolls #trolls oc #oc art #my art #winona the country pop hybrid #beau the country troll #not my oc #chibi

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hhgossip · 4 years ago

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HIDDEN HILLS WEEKLY ISSUE #2

In this issue of Hidden Hills Weekly, we are talking about the outrageous lives of our celebrities in the gated community! We talk about polyamorous lovers to concerts in your every own kitchen!

ISABELLE AMOR’S ADDING ON TO HER POLY LIFESTYLE?

For the past week, Isabelle Amor, 28 has been in New York filming her newest show, “Only Murders In The Building.” She has been seen up and down the busy streets, filming scenes and having fun on set but fans have noticed that the singer/actress is having too much fun with her co-star. The pair have been seen getting quite cozy with one another when the cameras cut. They have been seen with big smiles and sparkles in their eyes. It comes as quite a shock as Isabelle is in an unconfirmed relationship with country music stars Annika Baddie, 25, and Cameron Nelson, 26. You did read that right, Isabelle is dating Both Annika and Cameron. They are living a polyamorous lifestyle where three people are all seeing each other.

Fans are wondering if Isabelle’s co-star is going to be added to her relationship with the country stars. Fans took it far enough to compare the relationship and pictures of Isabelle with her ex-boyfriends and current lovers to her new beau. Those pictures include her famous love story with James Hemmings, 27, with who they share one child together. Mateo Hemmings, 3. One fan stated on Twitter that - “Jelle is way more hotter than this! What is this?!” Along with the tweet was a shared picture of Belle with her co-star. While other fans tweeted that Belle looked happier with her two other loves. “Belle looks GLOWING with Ani and Cam! LET HER BE HAPPY!” Says another fan.

What do Annika and Cameron think about Isabelle potentially looking for another lover? What do you all think? Let us know!

WALLEN FATHERED A CHILD IN SECRET WITH MACKENZIE?

On February 26, 2021, the multi-talented actress Mackenzie Locklear, 23, told the world via Instagram that she had given birth on February 15th to a baby boy named Phoenix Finn Locklear. The actress went silent on all types of social media after the Sweetheart Dance we held on the 12th of this month until her huge announcement. We haven’t heard much about her birth but everyone is wondering who the father is. Mackenzie never said out in any interviews who the father of her son is but many people are assuming it’s Wallen Ward, 28, country singer. People are only assuming this as Mackenzie has been seen at many of Ward’s concerts in the past. She is either in the sound booth or she is backstage with everyone else. Wallen is currently married to Madeline King, 22, the youngest of the King Siblings.

We have reached out to all parties but we got nothing but got declined to speak from Locklear’s team, but we heard nothing back from King & Ward’s team just yet. But we will keep you all updated on the matter when we get the word!

ODESSA’S NIGHTMARE!

On the day of February 18th, 2021, we got reports of Daniel Kaylan, 29, had left his household with his daughter, Heather without notifying her mother and his fiancée, Odessa Fitzpatrick, 27. We were told that the police were called on the scene as Odessa had no idea where her daughter had gone to and assumed she had gone missing. It wasn’t clear where Daniel had gone with Heather but one thing that was clear is the fact that Odessa was not having any of it when Daniel revealed that he was the one who took Heather and left.

The couple just welcomed their third child, a son, into the world on the 14th of this month. Who they have not released the name yet. They also share another son, Wyatt, who is the oldest of the Kaylan Clan.

Rumors had spread that Odessa had indeed got the police involved once she could not find Heather anywhere and Daniel had to come home to talk them himself to explain what had really gone down. We know for sure, this is something he will never do again and might spend the rest of the year in the dog house for this one!

LOVE TRIANGLE IS STILL ON THE RISE!

Is 5 Seconds Of Summer’s guitarist still in love with a former groupie? The answer is unclear to many but also very clear to those around them! Spencer Stone, 25, used to sleep around constantly with Lanie Sinclair, 22, back when the band was touring for their album Sounds Good Feels Good. They currently share two children together, Lyric, 4, and Mercury, 2 months. Everything was going well between the two as co-parents before Spencer moved in with his girlfriend, Francesca “Frankie” Hart, 25. The house was already sold but Lanie ended up staying the night with Spencer the weekend before the big move and rumors have it that they have done more than just kiss that night. Sources had said that Sinclair left early in the morning with their daughter and her daughter, Lucina, 9 months, who she shares with her current boyfriend, Theodore “Theo” Dean, 26. Lanie was currently pregnant when she stayed the night.

Rumors only fueled even more as Lanie went off with Theo to Paris for nearly a month after giving birth to her son with Spencer. Theo was fresh out of an engagement with Nicole Hampton, 24, and Lanie was dealing with Spencer’s flip-flopping feelings for her. Sources had said in Aspen that Stone had made Sinclair cry more than once. Reports claim to overhear a fight between Spencer and Frankie as he admitted kissing Lanie. Witnesses say that Hart claimed to feel like she had been cheated on since Spencer agreed to father another baby with Lanie without talking to her about it first. This caused a huge rift between Hart and Stone in Las Vegas where Frankie walked out on him during blackout dinner.

During the Sweetheart Dance, many eyewitnesses had said that the whole night Spencer couldn’t tear his eyes away from his ex-groupie while she danced with her former turned current boyfriend Theo. What will Frankie think about all of this? What does Theo think about all of this as well?

SCOTTIE’S FREE CONCERT!

The Model/Youtuber Scottie Blake, 27, made headlining news when she went live on Instagram the other night and totally forgotten about it! It went from attempting to make pasta for dinner into a full-on action concert for thousands of people unknowing to her. Many of her fans were delighted to see Scottie enjoying herself as she danced around her kitchen and sang her heart out to her favorite songs. They blasted through her speakers and we do not blame her for forgetting about being live! When you have great music taste like Scottie, it’s common to forget what you were doing and just want to have some fun.

One fan wrote on Twitter, “LOOK AT HOW CUTE SCOTTIE IS!” With many heart emojis and a screenshot from the live.

Although trolls were making fun of the model, many of Scottie’s fans were quick to defend her and one started out. “As if you don’t do this when you’re alone lmao bye”

One thing is for sure, Scottie Blake, we need that album, and secondly, keep on dancing and never stop!

NICOLE HAMPTON IS TURNING TO A WRITER!

The rumors might be true! They might be false! But we do hope it’s true! Nicole Hampton, 24, had said it herself that she planned on writing a book called - “boy mom shit - you’ll be grey before thirty.” She then goes on to explain why she decided to write a book on parenting. It was because of her oldest son, Zeus, 6, who she shares with Derek King, 27. He was attempting to talk to his youngest brother, Asher, 4, who she shares with Brody Roberts, 30, to jump off his bed onto his skateboard so that he could ‘surf’ down the stairs. Luckily, Mama Hampton was quick to put that idea out of their heads and put their safety into their minds. Who knows what could have happened if she didn’t catch them in time!

As we are all parents in Hidden Hills, it would be so nice to hear what other parents have to go through. All children are wild, fun, and beautiful. They may drive us all up the wall but we do love them with all of our hearts! So, Nicole, we would love and buy your book! Give us a call when it’s about to be released! Don’t be shy now!

BRODY IS MOVING ON?!

Yes, you heard it here first! Brody Roberts says that he is ready to move on with his life and find that special someone! Our close sources say that he has come to terms with his ex-girlfriend, Nicole Hampton, 24 is moving on with her life and he is ready to do the same. As we stated in a previous story, the couple shares a son together, Asher, 5. The producer and director have been keeping a low profile recently but want to change that and step out more. We have to say that we’re excited to see Brody out and about again!

People close to the director stated that he wanted to connect with someone and meet that special someone in an authentic way and is adamantly opposed to dating apps. We get it, we don’t want to be catfished in this household. We were told that he has been asking around for ideas of places to meet people and even may have asked a few people to join him on that adventure. We do not know who at this time but once we get more details, we will share them with you all!

#hidden hills weekly.#issue 2.#isabelle amor.#cameron nelson.#annika badie.#james hemmings.#mackenzie locklear.#wallen ward.#madeline king.#theo dean.#spencer stone.#lanie sinclair.#odessa fitzpatrick.#daniel kaylan.#scottie blake.#nicole hampton.#brody roberts.

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nicholejonesandfamily · 2 years ago

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Ah shit

Need us to pop up a spare?

Beau: I appreciate it but nah. I'll be all right

#beau the country troll

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geekgirles · 5 years ago

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Una rosa es una rosa

In all honesty, this one-shot is an excuse to describe an outfit I came up with for Poppy, but hey, it got me to write something, didn’t it? XD

Special thanks to my lovelies @foxlanaeshrek and @tipolover22. You guys rock! And because you do, this one-shot is set on the Rock!Branch AU.

Read on AO3

With the Skulls and Roses Ball fast approaching, Branch asks Poppy to go with him as his date. However, an unfortunate comment sets Poppy out to prove to her boyfriend she can be the last thing she expected she'd want to emulate: a Rock troll.

Ever since the different tribes of trolls had been reunited and agreed to coexist once again, many changes were made to Troll Village. It had been decided the home of the Pop trolls would take in the rest of the kingdoms, because it was the one that held the most chances for other trolls to make a home of their own, adapting the landscape to their particular needs. And it had the sweetest acoustics by far, too.

Now that all tribes lived together, the leaders had agreed on creating spaces where all trolls could enjoy each other’s company at the same time as any individual kingdom could gather to speak about issues that concerned their kind specifically.

One of such places being a grand pod, known as the Conference-pod, that was built the closest to the centre of the village as possible. It was of every hue that was once represented by the six strings that used to hold each realm’s music. The top was electric blue, representing the techno string; its bottom was a golden yellow, that of the classical string; rotating around the spacious place were purple swirls and warm orange rope-like shapes, symbolising the funk and country strings, respectively; and finally, in the very middle of the pod, where the entrance was, zig-zagged blood red shapes intertwined themselves with bright pink hearts and flowers, a reflection of the rock and pop strings.

Said pod served as a ballroom and an assembly room. In there the trolls would celebrate any party in need of an indoor space, as well as the leaders meet to discuss different ways of ensuring a better collaboration and coexistence between their people. Even so, the place served another purpose, any king or queen (mayor and conductor in the Country and Classical trolls’ case) could request to use the pod in order to hold a party or meeting exclusively for their kind.

Being that last purpose the reason why it was currently being occupied by the Rock trolls, Queen Barb currently addressing her subjects, “As you know, our annual Skulls and Roses Ball is in two days’ time. I doubt I need to remind you it’s our most, if not only, formal event.” She said as she looked at her people. “I’ve already asked Queen Poppy if we can use the pod for it and she gave me the green light, so dudes”, she leaned in closer from the podium she was standing, “we’ve got a lot to do!”

After a minute or two she gestured for her trolls to calm down after the uproar that came when she shared the news, “Captain Branch here will read you the memo. They’re all yours, Branch.”

“Thank you, your rockness,” he thanked her as he took the place she’d previously been in, “As the queen just explained, the Skulls and Roses Ball is a formal event. That means the requirements for it are: we must all look our best, we must bring plus ones with us ‒if somebody can’t bring a plus one, either because they’re in a poly or just can’t find anyone to go with; we must be informed ahead of time‒, and absolutely, under no circumstances must we trash the place. Did I make myself clear?”

He narrowed his eyes at the lack of response from his comrades and repeated himself, louder, “I said, are we clear?!” Immediately, a chorus of agreements and clapping hands came, satisfying him. “That will be all. Dismissed; we have much to do.”

As the Rock trolls retreated, Branch stayed behind to clean up the pod. In doing so, he was approached by the queen of rock, a knowing smirk placed on her lips, “So…,” she began playfully, “are you bringing Poppy as your date, Branch?”

“That is correct, my Queen,” he turned back to face her, then his expression became worried. “Why, is there a problem with my decision, your Rolling Highness?” Branch feared not being able to have Poppy accompany him to the ball. He was well aware his relationship with the pink queen ‒the pink queen of Pop, to be precise‒ was something unheard of, even from back when the trolls still lived together the first time. But he simply couldn’t take anybody else as his date to the event; she was his one and only and he would not accept anyone but her.

“No, no. It’s cool, dude”, the redhead replied, motioning with her hand to ease his concerns, “Popcorn is pretty hard-core once you get to know her.” She smirked at him, which he answered with a smirk of his own. It was true, Poppy could be a force to be reckoned with if pushed too far; outright terrifying. He loved her so much. “But,” that made him worried, “you should really let her know she can’t come in her usual pop fashion.” Barb was now looking at him, her expression serious. “This is a rock formal event, Branch, she must look the part.”

The Captain nodded, “I will make sure she knows, your rockness.”

After the Rock Queen took her leave Branch was sure to follow, he had to find Poppy.

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Poppy could barely contain her excitement the moment her charming boyfriend handed her an invitation ‒scrapbooked by him, might I add‒ to invite her to an upcoming rock event as his date. That would be their first appearance as an official couple! She really wanted to sing as loudly as she could to express her excitement right now. But, figuring there were still things they had to talk about, she did the next best thing; she tackled Branch to the ground in a hug.

“Oh, yes, yes, yes!” She practically yelled, “Yes, Branch! Of course I’ll be your date!”

After allowing himself to relish the attention his beautiful ladylove was giving him, he reluctantly broke the hug, “Poppy, angel, there’s something I should tell you.”

She looked at him with a furrowed brow. Seriousness wasn’t really the mood she’d thought he’d be in after inviting her to a party. “Okay…,” she said, feeling a little uneasy, “What’s up?”

Branch took a deep breath, “You see, the Skulls and Roses Ball is a huge deal for us Rock trolls. It is literally the only day of the year where we are expected to behave and follow certain rules.” His nervous gaze found her confused one, her nodding head encouraging him to continue. “This is the first time ever a troll that worships a different type of music will be attending, so I need you to be in your best behaviour.”

Wording his thoughts like that had been a mistake, he could tell from the queen’s narrowing eyes. “What do you mean by ‘my best behaviour’?” she air-quoted.

“I need you to look and act like a poised, elegant rock troll.” He explained, hoping he didn’t screw up. “I know it’ll probably be difficult-“

“Why would it be difficult?” She cut him off, crossing her arms. She had a feeling she knew where he was going, and she didn’t like it one bit.

“W-well… Y-you k-know… Be-because…”, Ugh, how did she manage to make him lose his usual level head?! In twenty years nobody had ever managed to make him lose his level head!

Then again, he had never met anyone as unique, inspiring, and incredible as Poppy… Oh, Rock. He really did have it bad.

“No, Branch, I’m afraid I do not know. Please, enlighten me…” she challenged.

“W-well, because…” he averted his eyes from her as he uttered the words that were sure to cause him several nights away from his pink, sweetly scented Eden, “…you’re a Pop troll.”

At the confirmation of her suspicions, something stirred inside Poppy. The same kind of resolve that only awakened when her people had truly needed it. But this time it was mixed, once again, with the desire to prove herself… And a hint of smugness.

And so, with a new purpose, she slowly got closer to her tattooed beau, a fire in her pink irises that, hadn’t it been for the fact that he was now slightly disturbed by the heat of its fury, under any other circumstances the Captain of the Rock trolls would have found insanely hot. Without a warning, she quickly pecked him on the lips before whispering, “Challenge accepted.”

As the retreating form of the Pop Queen was finally far enough, Branch let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“…What was that about?”

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Poppy had been pacing and ranting inside the Fashionistas’ pod-shop for twenty minutes. Any troll from another land would be at a loss at what to do with the agitated ball of pink fury, but the twins, having been close friends with the queen since childhood, knew just exactly what was troubling her.

“So Branch invited you to Rock troll party-“, Satin started.

“-But he doesn’t actually think you can pull it off?” Chenille finished.

“Yes!” Poppy threw her arms at her sides, exasperated with her boyfriend. “I can’t believe him! We’ve been together for months and he still doesn’t trust me when it comes to his people and their customs! Like, what gives?!”

The twins exchanged a look. As siblings that were literally bound to each other, they knew of unsaid things, hidden behind bickering, better than anyone. “Poppy, hon.” Satin called her as Chenille put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

When their friend was finally looking at them, the blue sister began to explain, “We don’t think Branch doesn’t trust you.”

“Really?” Poppy asked, incredulous.

“Really.” The pink twin assured her with a soft smile.

“Then why doesn’t he think I can actually behave like a ‘poised, elegant Rock troll’?” She rolled her eyes as she did a half-hearted impression of her boyfriend’s voice.

“It’s probably not that he doesn’t think you can’t behave like one of his kind-,” Chenille tried to reason.

“-But more like he’s trying to protect you from them.” Satin added.

“What?”

“You know how we trolls can be, Poppy”, Satin shrugged, “We get very defensive of the things we care about.”

“So Branch probably fears his people will give you a hard time if you don’t act like them on such a special occasion.” Chenille smiled at her, reassuringly.

The royal troll’s eyes widened. It all made so much more sense now! Of course her romantic, thoughtful, and caring boyfriend would never think anything but highly of her! He just had a hard time delivering harsh things gently due to his upbringing. Sometimes even to her. He’d explained himself before.

“I want to make things right.” She spoke up. “I want to make Branch see I can handle myself so he doesn’t worry to death for my sake.” Poppy suddenly felt very small under the amused smirks and knowing eyes of the twins. She knew they saw right through her… “And… I also want… to… make his jaw… drop… when he sees me.” She admitted quietly, a blush spreading over her already pink cheeks.

The Fashion Twins simply giggled. Those two were adorable!

“Luckily for you-,“ Satin began to speak.

“-We happen to have the perfect idea in mind for your outfit.” Chenille completed the sentence as she showed Poppy a very peculiar flower. A flower Poppy knew all too well but had never given much thought. After all, it wasn’t the kind of flower a Pop troll would have a soft spot for.

“A-are you sure?”

“Positive.” They answered in sync. “Besides, it sure is perfect if what you’re aiming for is something that helps you erase your pop vibes temporarily. It does symbolise death, hatred, farewells, and tragic romance… It’s sure to grant you the darker side that is so characteristic of Rock trolls, since it’s a stark contrast to your usual, well, you.”

Poppy didn’t know which twin had said it, but she didn’t care. She had the perfect chance to become a poised, elegant rock troll and she sure as Hair was going to use it.

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Branch had been waiting anxiously at the entrance of the Conference-pod for the last ten minutes. Despite their disagreement, Poppy had sent him a card saying she’d be there at 7:00PM. And yet, it was already 7:10PM and she was nowhere in sight.

He couldn’t help but think back on their “argument”. Ugh, if only he’d been better at choosing his words! How he was simultaneously able to smooth talk his girlfriend until he swept her off her feet and speak to her with his foot in his mouth was beyond him! But alas, it was a power he had been both blessed and cursed with, apparently.

He was also feeling very curious regarding her outfit of choice. Even if he knew for a fact Pop trolls had their own formal events, a part of him still worried about his queen’s (the one by choice, not the one he’d sworn to serve because he was her Captain) choice.

He, himself, never really lost sleep when it came to his own clothing. He was dressed smartly; wearing a buttoned-up white shirt, a black tuxedo and a navy blue tie and waistband to match his dark hair, which was carefully combed back, giving him a refined presence. Even if his attire was appropriate for the occasion, his mind was still going back to Poppy’s.

Just what would she be wearing?

“Branch, over here!”

As he turned his head to the sound of his name, he could feel his eyes widening like saucers, his rocker heart skipping a beat, his jaw hanging right open... And he was pretty sure he’d stopped breathing, too.

It was so strange. The female in front of him looked so much like Poppy. Her skin was the same pink he’d compared to the sunset’s hue dozens of times. Her magenta eyes still sparkled with the same sense of wonder and excitement Poppy’s always reflected. Her glittery freckles shimmered when the light hit them just right… And yet, the troll before him looked nothing like his sweet, happy angel of morning.

The pink troll before him had a certain feeling of mystery and danger to her. Her beauty screamed enchantress, siren, goddess of the night! …Of course it was Poppy, Poppy always looked like a goddess! He couldn’t take his eyes off of her.

Her magenta hair was reminiscent of a bud that was yet to bloom, with both the strands at the top of her mane and framing her face shaped after two perfectly round spirals. But what really caught his eye, though, wasn’t the extra softness it seemed to radiate, but the single black streak that went across his mate’s silky locks. A black highlight he’d only ever seen once before; when she was (seemingly) turned into a Rock troll.

Glinting in the night almost as much as her rosy gaze, three silver earrings gave the pink troll a bit of a wilder look. Two of them adorning her right ear, and one on her left. The smoky eyeshadow she wore made her eyes resemble two magenta lights in a fog of mystery. A spiked choker covered her neck, forcing his mind to daydream with the thought of marking it with a love bite.

The masterpiece she was using as dress was black and strapless, it hugged her body perfectly; the bodice accentuating her curves in such a manner that it reminded him of a corset. And the skirt, the long, filmy skirt, had a cut on both sides of it; teasing Branch with the sight of Poppy’s long, perfect legs. From closer inspection, the unusually smooth texture of the dress reminded him of a flower’s petals, rather than fabric. And yet, its rose-like velvety feel gave it a quality no other silk could amount to achieve. It was almost as if Poppy had picked rose petals and woven them together to create such garment.

That’s when it clicked. The dress was inspired after a black rose.

What really sold the look, however, were the twin armlets she wore, alongside her headband. The bracelets, made out of obsidian, were crafted in the form of vines with thorns. And, in contrast to the Pop Queen’s usual style, the headband followed a simple design; a halo of silver decorated by three black roses.

He gulped.

From the corner of his eyes he could see Riff arriving with his own date. At the sight of his Captain, he subtly motioned to the corner of his mouth. Following the movement with his own hand he realised what the drummer was referring to, he discreetly wiped the drool falling out of his open mouth.

A triumphant grin made its way to Poppy’s lips. Judging by the look on her boyfriend’s face ‒and his jaw, which was barely avoiding touching the floor‒, she’d succeeded. She looked like a classy Rock troll. Still, even if it was just to tease him, she asked, “So? How do I look?”

Breaking out of his stupor, Branch lightly shook his head before speaking up, “Poppy you… Rock, I don’t know what to say!”

She giggled, “Tell me, do I look like the perfect Rock troll now?” She wanted to sound confident, but a part of her still feared not meeting her boyfriend’s expectations, making her direct her eyes to the floor, only looking up at Branch ever so slightly.

His heart sunk at the insecurity hidden behind her melodic voice, “Poppy,” gently grabbing her chin, he directed her eyes to his before continuing, “you’ll always be perfect for me.”

A soft smile appeared on her lips at the clever reference of the beautiful ballad Branch once serenaded her with to express the depth of his feelings for her. He truly had the soul of a poet.

He then offered her his arm, “Shall we, my lady?”

“Branch, before we go in, I wanted to tell you something.” She watched as he turned, fully facing her now with his icy blue peepers. She had his full attention. “I’m sorry.”

His eyebrows knotted in confusion, “You’re sorry? What are you sorry for, Pops? I’m the one who doubted you!”

“No, you didn’t.” She said with finality. “I now know you weren’t doubting my blending in with your people, you were worried they wouldn’t be pleased with my ensemble and give me a hard time for it.” She sighed. “You were just trying to protect me.”

She really did get it. Sometimes he wondered if this selfless creature could read him like an open book. As a matter of fact, that didn’t sound so bad. “Yes, you’re right. That’s what got me worried, but still, Poppy, I should’ve voiced it differently.” He let out a humourless chuckle, “Looking back, no wonder you thought I was underestimating you for being a Pop troll. So,” he shrugged after holding her hands, “I’m sorry too.”

After a minute of silence, he asked, “Does this mean the gates to Heaven won’t be closing on me?”

Poppy snorted at that, “No, they won’t. ‘Sides, it’s not like you don’t have the key to them anyways…” She replied in a sultry voice.

Smiling widely at each other, no more words needed to be said. So, instead, they just closed the distance with a soft kiss before settling in an embrace.

Poppy was the first to break the silence, “Branch, I love you. And it means so much to me that you worry about my wellbeing so much, really, it does; but I don’t want you to have a heart attack every single time I find myself in a difficult situation. I swear, I can take care of myself; I did save my people from the bergens, after all.” She winked at him.

The blue troll chuckled, “Yes, you do.” He then offered her his arm again, “Now, shall we join the others, my rose?”

She took it, “Well of course! But tell me, Branch, do you really think I’ll be fine at the ball?”

He gently kissed her nose, a stark contrast to the roughness he treated almost everyone else with, “Believe me, they’re fools if they can’t see you’re the most tender flower in the rose bush.”

#Trolls #trolls world tour #twt #twt spoilers #trolls au #trolls fanfiction #Rock! Branch AU #Poppy #Branch #broppy #queen barb #riff #satin and chenille #rock trolls

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tabloidtoc · 4 years ago

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Us, June 1

Cover: Julianne Hough -- My Best Body

Page 2: Red Carpet -- Adeam -- Lilly Singh, Shahadi Wright Joseph, Storm Reid, Suki Waterhouse

Page 3: Angela Sarafyan, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Lizzy Caplan, Samira Wiley, Yara Shahidi

Page 6: Loose Talk -- Brian May on managing to injure his butt while partaking in some over-enthusiastic gardening, Dakota Johnson on her longtime experience with depression, Whoopi Goldberg clapping back after being criticized for rewearing the same jacket on The View, Tina Fey’s response to Seth Meyers after daughter Penelope dressed in a colonial-style dress and pulled the loser sign during her interview, Gwyneth Paltrow the mother of Apple reacting to Elon Musk and Grimes’ unique name for their son

Page 8: Contents

Page 10: Hot Pics -- Kate Beckinsale walking her dog Myf with boyfriend Goody Grace, Kristen Bell donates blood

Page 12: Eva Longoria and son Santiago making lemon sorbet, Priyanka Chopra cuddles with pups Gino and Diana, Ariel Winter throws boyfriend Luke Benward a birthday party in her driveway

Page 13: LoCash members Chris Lucas and Preston Brust, Thandie Newton, Demi Moore shows off her haul from a morel mushroom treasure hunt, Dean McDermott helps his son Beau play golf

Page 14: Natural Instinct -- these celebs embrace their true beauty -- Tracee Ellis Ross, Vanessa Hudgens, Amber Heard, Kesha

Page 15: Jessica Simpson with daughter Birdie, Salma Hayek, Demi Lovato, Tyra Banks, Hailey Bieber

Page 16: Stars’ Kids They’re Just Like Us -- Kate Hudson’s daughter Rani gardens, Princess Charlotte gives back, Hilary Duff’s son Luca does it for Instagram, Kylie Jenner’s daughter Stormi plays tennis

Page 17: Brie Bella’s daughter Birdie reads a book, Michael Phelps’ son Boomer sips a warm drink, Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade’s daughter Kaavia talks on the phone

Page 18: Love Lives -- Busy Philipps and husband Marc Silverstein strength in solitude

Page 19: Shay Mitchell and boyfriend Matte Babel a quaran-team, Courteney Cox and Johnny McCaid are quarantining in separate countries, Ben Platt and Noah Galvin couple alert

Page 20: Hot Hollywood -- It’s over between Mary-Kate Olsen and Olivier Sarkozy and it’s getting nasty

Page 21: Khloe Kardashian’s baby daddy Tristan Thompson served a woman named Kimberly Alexander with a cease-and-desist letter to immediately stop defaming them after she claimed Tristan was her baby’s father and that the Kardashians falsified the paternity test results, after Megan Fox was spotted getting takeout with Machine Gun Kelly her husband Brian Austin Green confirmed that they have decided to end their decade-long marriage, after first denying it Bachelorette Hannah Brown apologized for using the n-word while singing Rockstar by DaBaby on Instagram Live

Page 22: A Day in the Life At-Home Edition -- Matt and Amber Barnett of Love Is Blind

Page 23: Don’t Worry Be Happy -- stars give us a reason to smile during these trying times -- during an episode of Some Good News John Krasinski enlisted his former Office castmates to re-create Jim Halpert and Pam Beesly’s wedding dance for a Maryland couple’s surprise Zoom wedding

Page 24: Hollywood Moms -- Kimora Lee Simmons on expanding her family by adding son Gary whom she’s adopted

Page 25: Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi was anxious ahead of son’s Elijah’s birth but motherhood comes naturally for her, Brittany Aldean says she has a big sister relationship with Jason Aldean’s daughters, when a social media troll questioned the intelligence of Jade Roper Tolbert’s 2-year-old Emerson she clapped back

Page 26: Body Language -- Kate Hudson, Tracee Ellis Ross

Page 27: Khloe Kardashian

Page 28: Julianne Hough

Page 29: Couples Get Fit Together -- Nicole Scherzinger and Thom Evans, Elsa Pataky and Chris Hemsworth, Camila Cabello and Shawn Mendes, Britney Spears and Sam Asghari

Page 30: Jennifer Lopez, Brooke Burke

Page 31: Adele, Jessica Alba

Page 32: Kacey Musgraves, Halle Berry, Jessie James Decker

Page 33: Dwayne Johnson, Ellie Goulding

Page 34: Demi Lovato, Carrie Underwood

Page 35: Chris Pratt, Kate Upton

Page 36: No Quarantine 15 Here -- Gabrielle Union, Kourtney Kardashian, Helena Christensen, Kaia Gerber

Page 37: Dascha Polanco, Bella Hadid, Hannah Ann Sluss, Ireland Baldwin

Page 38: Zoom Hairstyle Inspo -- Bryce Scarlett tells how to re-create his celeb clients’ looks -- Miley Cyrus, Billie Lourd, Camila Morrone

Page 39: Hailey Bieber, Kaia Gerber, Lily-Rose Depp, Charlize Theron

Page 40: Us Musts -- twenty years later Dawson’s Creek’s Kerr Smith, Adam Kaufman and writer Gina Fattore reflect on the liplock that transformed TV

Page 42: Marcia Gay Harden on Barkskins

Page 43: JoAnna Garcia Swisher on Sweet Magnolias

Page 46: Fashion Police -- floral edition -- Lili Reinhart, Greta Gerwig, Kaitlyn Dever

Page 47: Charli XCX, Bel Powley, Halsey

Page 48: 25 Things You Don’t Know About Me -- Hilarie Burton

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loquaciousquark · 5 years ago

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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E73 (Aug. 6, 2019)

Gooooooood evening good evening good evening all! @eponymous-rose is off packing for a cross-country move (as if THAT’S an excuse), so here I am isntead to lay waste to all you love.

Tonight’s preroll: Sam’s costume from the liveshow getting dunked in acid.

Tonight’s guests: Laura Bailey & Sam Riegel, in a fully human and normal tshirt and jeans. Everyone oohs and ahs over Laura’s adorable live show outfit; Sam waits eagerly for equal attention. And waits, and waits...

Tonight’s announcements: Huge thanks to everyone who came out to the live show in Indy last weekend (I was there! It was great!). Laura talks about everyone singing the theme on the intro. Sam sent his entire costume back with Dani so he wouldn’t get stopped in the airport. Poor Dani! Season 3 of Between the Sheets, featuring Amanda Palmer, is up for Twitch subs now and will be up on YT on Wednesday. CR is headed to Austin, TX, for a live show on Sept. 23! Everyone talks about how Doty will definitely, definitely be in this show: The Adventures of the Darrington Brigade, ft. the return of Sam as Taryon. Sam says he already has something in mind for his costume; everyone else will be playing new characters. Laura’s got an idea for a backup character for Jester, but BWF advises her not to use this for the live show since Jester will def be dead in less than 20 episodes. Go to critrole.com/events for more.

Episode 73: Uthodurn, which is not spelled at all like I thought

CR Stats! Nott dealt 124 damage this episode, only 23 of which was friendly fire. Sam: “You know, he just needs to get out of the fucking way.” Nott rolled her 50th nat 20, resulting in a 43 stealth check. Laura and Sam quietly talk about Sam’s tendency to touch everyone else’s dice as opposed to his “playing fairly.” Sam also laments he’s lost his dustbuster in the studio somewhere after the last bit. Jester is tied with Beau at 9 for the most HDYWTDTs. Jester also played her 50th prank this episode: creating the ballpeen hammer as an offering to the Allhammer.

Laura thinks part of Jester’s new anger in battle is part of losing Yasha, especially when she disappeared right in front of her and Jester wasn’t able to help her at all. “Jester mammoth-raged.” Laura raves about being a mammoth & talks about needing to work on her elephant noise. Both Laura and Sam fail miserably at making the noise.

Sam slowly drinks a shot. It’s... a thing.

We have a close-up of Sam’s nail polish, which was done for the live show. He doesn’t own nail polish remover, it turns out.

Nott will talk to Cad about the explosive arrow whenever Cad brings it up. First, Cad was invisible & therefore at fault because he couldn’t be seen; the second part of the blame goes to Laura Bailey, who leaned over and told Sam right before his turn he had to kill this thing right now. The explosive arrow was the best thing he had; Sam accepts one part of the blame for forgetting it would be fire. Sam & Laura agree the bolt should have had some thunder/force damage associated with it because of the concussive blast. (Hilariously, my father presented this precise argument to me with GREAT VIGOR right after this episode aired.)

Jester’s call to the Traveler was just in the heat of the moment. All of her power comes from him, so Jester calls out to him (and Laura thinks it cool) when she gets a big oomph. Sam wonders aloud if her powers genuinely come from the Traveler or not. Laura: “I mean...as far as she knows.” Sam’s also distracted that the question card had a straight-up name on it rather than a username.

Sam considers the outcome of the election a win, since he’s one of the bi-Presidents of D&D Beyond until further notice. “It doesn’t matter how you get there, as long as you get there.” Laura asks if he thinks about it being a hollow win when he goes to sleep. Sam: “Do I look like the kind of person to have thoughts as I’m falling asleep?”

Nott’s usage of the pistol’s single shot was pure pettiness. Sam thought Nott had a shot because she’s acrobatic & fast & has some tricks, and he just didn’t want Beau to win. Making loud noises & drawing attention didn’t even cross my mind.

Jester was very proud of Fjord making those strength checks, but she wasn’t surprised. “He’s very strong, even though he looks like he’s not.” Laura thinks it’s funny and poetic that Travis rolled so well after ditching his sword/powers.

Travis has three sets of dice. Liam has a bunch of sets, but they’re all red (says Laura, offended). Laura only used purple dice at the live show because of how she was dressed.

Cosplay of the Week: a great Scanlan cosplay with Ioun’s third eye by @cxptaingrayson.

Sam realizes something that’s been holding back the Nott-Fjord relationship is that Nott has always been a little suspicious of Fjord. Now that he’s “talking like a real weirdo” and is still brave, braver than before, she can trust him more.

Laura’s asked about Jester’s conflict between healing & DPS. Laura: “Do you think Jester asked to be a fucking healer?” When they were deciding their characters, Laura was originally going to be a warlock with the Traveler as her patron; then Travis was like, warlock! What a cool class! Can I have it? And Laura said sure, she’ll be a cleric, that sounds cool. “And now he got rid of his fucking patron! Who knows if he’s going to be a warlock anymore? What a waste of a warlock!” She likes being a cleric--but even from Jester’s very first inception she’s always been a healer who hates healing. Brian: “She’s a battle Mercy.” She’s not regretful she healed Beau; the reason Laura didn’t immediately heal her is that she thought from Matt’s face that the remorhaz was very close to death, closer than it actually was. She confirms Jester is Chaotic Neutral.

Brian tells Laura he texted Travis to tell him Laura accused him of stealing the warlock class. Laura: “YOU DID NOT!” Brian: “You said it on the air!!”

Travis, via text to BWF, apparently in all caps: “I WAS CHANGING RONIN. YES I STOLE WARLOCK.”

Nott’s teasing of a powerless Fjord is 100% just because she thinks it’s funny. Sam: “There’s not really a deep reason to it. They tease each other all the time. Why would that change just because he tossed his sword in the lava?”

Laura needs to do research on other animals she can become since she enjoyed the mammoth (and giant eagle) so much. Sam keeps a list of flying creatures Laura can turn into because Laura struggles looking it up and often keys it into her D&D Beyond app before she’s even started. BWF: “This is uncharacteristically unselfish.” Sam: “Well, Laura is--I love her. Laura is pure harp music and I would do anything for her.”

Their environments are just getting better and better for Nott in terms of how goblins are seen. She’s given up the mask now, but it’s nice to have people look and not scream.

Both Sam & Laura pause to fan over the design of Uthodurn. It’s way cooler than either the Empire or Dynasty to them right now.

Laura points out that Nott has been fairly outgoing lately; it’s been a while since anyone said “you’re a goblin, stone her!” She’s beginning to come out of her shell as she gets used to her body (not that she likes it in any way), but it’s a development from Veth’s original shyness. She’s also drunk a lot; Sam says this will continue until he gets more Laura Bailey speeches.

BWF still has Laura’s copy of Game of Thrones, which he borrowed in 2011. Laura doesn’t listen to books on tape because she likes the inflections in her own head.

Fanart of the Week: a cool grouping of portraits of the M9 by @dylanbydoodles.

They apparently threw an election party after the D&D Beyond President reveal. Sam talks about convincing the Lyft driver on the way back that it was a swinger’s party in the most ridiculous way possible. Poor Indianapolis.

Nott & Veth’s relationship is getting very complicated. Sam says they’re beginning to blend a little together, but he’s now coming to realize there’s a part of Nott deep down that is deeply scared of going back to Veth & losing her rogue abilities, her adventuring; she wants to be herself again for sure, since her body is definitely wrong, but she’s beginning to fear the loss of some of what Nott is now.

BWF sincerely thanks Sam for the effort and thought he puts into his character. Sam sincerely thanks him. It’s a lovely moment.

Jester’s slip about Fjord’s powers was deliberate on Laura’s part but accidental on Jester’s. Everyone’s a little worried about Fjord without powers, even though he proved himself in the remorhaz fight. She thinks the slipup happened because Jester wasn’t on guard--because Fjord had done so well in the fight, she’d forgotten.

So far, Nott’s choice to leave the family behind in Nicodranus is worth it; no one’s died and they’re making headway on their goals.

BWF: “The Mighty Nein: no one’s died-ish.”

Apparently Matt owns the building they’re filming in? I missed part of this and genuinely can’t tell if it’s a joke.

BWF talks about how Liam, Matt, & Travis have all been genuinely mad at him before. Matt and Travis were mad; Liam was just disappointed.

How did Sam lose the election? He doesn’t think it’s because of him or anything he did. He thinks there’s a demographic shift in America; the electoral college hurt him; both he and Liam ran the campaigns they wanted. Liam’s was serious issues & serious passion, while Sam farted around for three months. BWF asked Adam Bradford at D&D Beyond, who’s the General Manager, about the results; apparently the pie chart was VASTLY in favor of Liam with only the tiniest sliver for Sam. Laura thinks it’s because Sam’s done nothing but troll Sam for five years and this was their chance to troll him back. Sam: “To that I say: good job.”

Dani & Max both voted for Sam. Laura didn’t vote. BWF voted for Liam. Chris forgot there was a vote. Zach voted for Liam.

Sam talks about the game they play, the app for D&D Beyond, and how the whole campaign allowed him to shine a spotlight on himself. “I didn’t get as many votes as Liam, but I got a lot of attention.”

Everyone loved this last live show. Laura legit loved wearing her dress; Travis & Liam looked great. Tal looked normal. Brian marvels at his own tattoos. He and Tal went through a lot of ideas before they committed to the bag situation--he sent it to Jaimie Alexander before the show happened so she could vet it. Ha! “Her response was 25 crying emojis and ‘please send this to my boyfriend.’“

Reminder: Mica Burton, Overwatch League host (and daughter of Levar Burton), will be guest-starring on Critical Role this coming Thursday.

And we’re out! Is it Thursday yet?

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long post for ts

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nityarawal · 11 months ago

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Christmas 2023

Christmas-Jah

Morning Songs

It's 2pm

Been Running Around

A Few Hours

I Saw A License

Plate

On A White Tesla

Say

"All The Bros,"

Got So Excited

Went Straight Home

Washed Off Stardust

Hung Up My Wet

Clothes

Just Posted Yesterday's

Songs

Took two Calls

Hate To Talk To

Wrongfully Incarcerated

Coded

Engineers

Listening

To Threats

Of Elon's Caging

Maybe Jim Carey

Is Long Gone

Maybe "Truman Show,"

Wasnt As Funny

As We Thought

Maybe

"Pleasantville"

Was An SOS

We Had It So Good

Padded By

The Golden Domes

Lovin' Families

All Thought

We Were Celebrities

Of Their Hearts

We Thought

We Got Away

From

"A Place To

Grow,"

In Iowa

Politics

Put No

But They Just Get

Bigger

The Pond

Now The Pacific

Oprah At The

Bookstore

Kvon Snowboarding

Children Home

Will Neo

Hold My Hand

And Dance

With Me

For One Night

Write A Song

Together

To Heal His

Heart

And Worries

About The Balls

Of The Universe

For We Love

Them All

As ACDC

Said

"Big Balls!"

And If Some Balls

Were Deleted

In The Offenses

Of Apartheid

Immigration

Airforce

Recruiting

Then Bless

Your Hearts

And May Frankenstein

And Myrh

Heal Your Bobes

'Cuz Every Goid

Astronaut

Needs Those

To Keep His

Ladies Happy

Just One Preferably

Close In Age

Who Gets

Our World

It's A Physicists

Tribe

Going To Mars

I know It's

Bittersweet

Every Day

I Ask Myself

Should I Cry

I Wonder

Have They Left

Did They Leave

Me Behind

So I Troll

Pizza Shops

Buying Doughbuts

Candy

Quinine Drinks

For My Baes

Gotta Bakery Of

Breads

It's Warm And Sunny

Today

In The 60's

On The Hill

If You All Want

To Dance

I'd Be Thrilled

Bring My Son

Bring My Pa

Bring My Bros

Bring Everyone

Bring My Daughter

Bring Your Beaus

Bring Everyone

Bring Your Beauties

Best You Know

Bring

Back Stallions

From The '70's

"Shamu"

Whales

Every

Santa Myth

Please

For Saints

Are More

Fun

But Elon's Not A

Russian Nesting

Doll

Give Back Our Lovelies

Charge Every

Country

$500 Trillion

For #Nitya4Eternity

Cleopatra

#MothersDefense

Is Back

Elon Musk

Smelled Me

And Headhunted

My Friends

Advertised

Two Biographies

Got Alot Of Businesses

To Liquidate

And Rich Refusals

Fiances

(Almost)

From 1963

I Like 'em Close

If They're Too Young

I Wannna Nanny

Got My School

Of Martians

Read

For Serious

Pappabears

To Coparent

My Babies Home

Today

For Whatever

Remedies

You Please

From My Apothecary

To Boost

Your Elf Securities

Gremlins

Messin' With Divine

Superman Please

Our Vibe

Not Cool Mrs. Clause

Shakin' Off The

Old

For Good Karma

This Time

Taylor Swift

#Swifties Want

You

To Know

Get Some

Irany

Merci

Peace,

Nitya Nella Davigo Azam Moezzi Huntley Rawal

0 notes

neighbours-kid · 7 years ago

Text

Dammit, Dean Devlin.

Once upon a time, there was this little show called Leverage.

It first aired in 2008. It had 5 seasons, 77 episodes, 5 main characters.

I was probably fifteen when I first laid eyes on this little show. I was at my dad's, it was some time after dinner, we were watching TV. And there it was, that first episode. We watched it, it was fun.

Over the course of a couple of years, I kept catching that episode on TV. But only the first one. Never more than that.

I forgot about it and was surprised every time I saw the episode. And I kept thinking, I wanna check this out, this looks like fun.

I think either shortly before the last season aired in 2012, or shortly after, I finally remembered the show well enough to go, okay, let's watch this. I have not been the same person since.

This little show called Leverage is without a doubt the best show I have ever seen in my life, and it is to this day still the only thing that has never disappointed me once. I loved Chuck, but it was not perfect. I had issues with it. I love the Marvel Netflix stuff, I think it's fun. But it's not perfect. I adore NCIS and The Mentalist. Are they perfect? Nope.

But I cannot find one single flaw about Leverage. I love it with all my heart and I would not change one single thing. Well, maybe I would've not cancelled it after five seasons. But even with that....it rounds off so perfectly. The last season, the finale, it is so fucking perfect.

One of the things that made Leverage so perfect, were the absolutely fantastic main characters and the development they had over those five seasons. I feel like I could write endlessly about the character development in this show. It's so marvellous and so well done.

You have Nate Ford, the "leader" of the group, this little family. The ex-insurance fraud detective, so broken, so flawed, such a wonderful jerk. He makes sure that the plans work, he is the mastermind behind their cons, their grifts, their thefts. He is the puppet master. Ah, I adooooore him. His alcoholism and control issues were never glamorised, it wasn't sugarcoated, and he was not vilified for it. He grew so much in those five seasons, he changed a lot, and yet he never betrayed his own character. Tim Hutton just smashes this role. I really, truly adore him.

You have Sophie Devereaux, femme fatale, grifter extraordinaire, a character so diverse, so beautifully portrayed by Gina Bellman, from episode to episode different, and yet still only one very complex and wonderfully crafted character. While Nate is the one who makes sure that the plan works, Sophie is the one to make sure that everyone gets out of it alive, unharmed, safe. She is the caretaker. To watch a grifter struggle with identity issues is such a great thing. Watching Sophie finding herself, finding her own dreams and ambitions, finding her calling over those five seasons, was such a treat.

That's the "parents". Then you have the "kids".

Alec Hardison, a motherfuckin' ray of sunshine. Hardison is the nerd, the geek, master of computers, the best hacker on earth, and just an all around joy. Only 22 when they started filming, Aldis Hodge is so fucking young but he plays him like a master. Aldis absolutely acts the shit out of that character. Hardison is such a sweetheart. On my first round through the show, he was definitely my favorite character, I identified with him so much. He was handsome, he was elegant, he had style, he was such a beautifully crafter character, and he still was the nerd and he is still black. You don't usually get that. Hardison is so incredibly kind and loving and all he wants is for his little family of criminals to feel good, to be safe, to feel loved. He gives them a home wherever they go. Aldis Hodge fucking rocked this role and I can't do anything but applaud him.

Then you have Parker, the all around misfit. Usually, in every other show, her character would be dismissed as either the "beauty" just there for the male gaze, or the weirdo who is the butt of every joke. But not with Leverage. Just like the other characters, she is wonderfully portrayed by Beth Riesgraf, has so many interesting layers and we learn so much about her over those five seasons. Parker is the world's greatest thief, she likes money for money's sake, she experienced a lot of bad things, was hurt in so many ways, and came out of it anyway. She found her own family, the people who did not dismiss her as a freak, an outcast, but embraced her being different, maybe a little weird, and loved her anyway. The relationships she builds with the other characters are so very different from each other, so well thought out, so wonderfully done. And what Leverage does so masterfully is that it does not pit Sophie and Parker against each other. It gives you a beautiful friendship between those two women, who could not be different from each other. There is so much love, respect and understanding between those characters. It's so refreshing to see. Have I mentioned how much I love this show already? I fucking love this show.

And then you have Eliot Spencer. Oh, I could cry buckets just thinking about him. I have never in my life seen such beautiful character development. What they did with Eliot over those five seasons is an absolute masterpiece of writing. Eliot -- the hitter, the fighter, the stone cold cowboy, whose fists say more than his mouth -- that guy changes so much. But not just that, he's not just the fighter. He's the "beau" mostly, and not Sophie. And he is incredibly passionate about cooking. You have this knife-wielding, punch-throwing, fucking badass, and he loves cooking. There is so much history revealed over the course of the show and he learns so. fucking. much. He goes from "You all annoy me and I'm just here for revenge and money" to "I will protect these people from this unjust world with my life and I would take on dragons and mountain trolls if it meant that they are safe and protected". Christian Kane is such a wonderful actor and he gives this character an immense amount of depth and he has more than three dimensions. Eliot is a masterpiece. And I love him to pieces. I could write ESSAYS about him. Long, wordy, essays.

You have this beautiful little family of thieves, of criminals, con-men, flawed, hurt, wonderful people. Incredibly gorgeously crafted characters, played so magnificently by all these great, amazing actors.

Leverage has rocked my world and sparked so many different interests in me. I would be a completely different person without it. I have no idea how many times I have watched it through. I spent at least half a year just going through it over and over and over again. As soon as I watched the finale, I put the first season on again, no stops, no pauses. It never got boring, I kept seeing new things, kept making connections between certain things. This show brought me so much joy. I love it with all my heart.

What Dean Devlin and John Rogers created is a show that makes me feel at home, that makes my heart swell with love, that was just absolutely fucking perfect. And still, it got cancelled and the last season ended in 2012.

Two years later, a NATO counter terrorism agent is in the middle of taking down terrorist and stopping a bomb from exploding, when suddenly an arrogant, brilliant, kind of dashing guy shows up, talks about ancient artefacts and curses and mythologies, and helps the agent stopping the bomb.

And with that, The Librarians is born. Or better yet, reborn into a tv show. By whom? None other than John Rogers and Dean Devlin.

What is it? Well, it's a little show that just finished it's fourth season. It's a show about a team of people who would've never found together if they had not been thrown into this adventure. They could not be different.

You have Flynn Carsen, a kind of arrogant, incredibly brilliant and well-versed guy, who is kind of dashing, has a tendency to go off and do things by himself, and is, more or less, the "leader" of the group.

You have Eve Baird, ex-NATO agent, the actual leader of the group, the protector, who sees to it that everyone gets out of the adventures alive. She is the guardian. Eve is a strong, independent woman who don't need no man, but chooses to have one anyway, because that self-destructive, arrogant idiot is so very intriguing, and he genuinely cares about her.

You have Ezekiel Jones, a Korean-Australian, nerd, computer genius, thief and, deep down, a sweetheart. He is more arrogant than anyone, he loves nothing more than himself, and saying his name, but he does have a heart. A big one. And he loves his new-found family.

You have Cassandra Killian, a quirky, pretty, absolutely brilliant young lady, who does not always fit in. She gets excited about things at the wrong time, she is overly hyperactive at times, but so so loyal, and caring, and loving.

And then you have Jacob Stone. The fighter. The brawler. The country kid from Oklahoma. The one you look at and think, that guy has skin like stone, nothing can hurt him, and he has no soft side. You have this tough ass bitch of a guy.... and he is soooooooo passionate about art, about architecture, about literature, about poetry. He quotes some author in every episode. He gets excited about museums and buildings and old symbols and engravings. And he cares so much about these people he only just met, he will protect them with everything he's got. A big teddy bear, a softie.

(Then you also have Jenkins who is just absolutely fantastic and I adore him and I could go on for ages about him but words could not make him justice, so I'm not trying. Also, he is kinda not relevant for my point.)

Now look at those five characters.

Leader guy, arrogant, self-destructive, cares so much but can't really express it, runs from commitment for the longest time, but actually wants to stay, just doesn't know how?

Strong, independent woman who's actually kind of the leader, sees to it that everyone feels good, doesn't need a man, but falls for the one who runs away anyway?

Nerdy, non-white computer guy, who knows he is awesome at what he does, is unconventionally stylish compared to the usual type of this character, cares about his new found family a lot and tries to support them with new ideas?

Brilliant, weird woman but absolutely beautiful in her own way, very caring but can't express it sometime, quirky and hyperactive?

Badass softie with a super specific interest he is brilliant at despite it maybe being considered effeminate in comparison to his other super manly, buff-ness, played by Christian Kane?

Sound familiar?

Nate or Flynn, Sophie or Eve, Hardison or Ezekiel, Parker or Cassie, Eliot or Jacob?

I am NOT saying these are exactly the same characters, far from it. They are all their own wonderful selves. But there are similarities there that I just adore so much. I admit, I think of Jacob as just an alias of Eliot's that he had before he joined the Leverage crew, and he is indeed the very same person. But that's just me, because I love Leverage so much and I miss it with all my heart and having the opportunity to have Eliot live on in something else? I'll take it in a heart beat.

I started watching The Librarians a few weeks ago. I am close to finishing season three now. It took me about two seasons to warm up to Flynn, and I admit I still don't like him as much as I loved Nate. I admit, Ezekiel still pisses me off a lot because of his constant "I am Ezekiel Jones". And yet... I still like them. I still think they are wonderfully crafted characters.

I did not mean to like The Librarians. I did go into this show thinking that I probably won't like it because it's not Leverage. These are not my beloved characters and this is not the best show on earth. But it's a good show. It's a beautiful show. It's lovely.

And I fucking HATE that I like it so much, because I really did not want to love another show. I am so pissed at myself for really liking it.

But I do. And I wish this show all the best. Season four just ended and the campaigning for a fifth season is on its way. I think it really deserves it. I am so on board for a fifth season.

I have one more thing to say.

Dammit. Dammit, Dean Devlin. Dammit, John Rogers. I did not want to like this show. And yet your wonderful show is exactly that. Wonderful. Adorable. Lovely.

I really miss Leverage. I miss it so much. And I wish you'd make a movie, get the gang back together again for one last job. Just one more time breaking the law, no encores.

(Thank you Dean, John, and also Chris Downey, for Leverage. It still is everything I ever wanted from a TV show and still the only show that never disappointed me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You guys are the best.)

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