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ultimate-marysue · 4 years ago

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So, about Bi Caleb

Warning: very long post, discussing bi representation and biphobia.

*Sorry for spelling errors, English ain’t my firts language.

I can’t believe I have to tell you guys, but anyways: Caleb is bi whether he ends with a male character, a female character on a non binary character. That’s what bi people do, you know? they experience atraction for all genders. Saying that a bi character that ends with someone of the opposite gender is straight and queerbaiting is incredibly biphobic.

Yes, Vax was bisexual. Yes, he ended up with Kiki. Get fucking over it.

Now, I can understand why LGBT+ fans may feel disappointed when they tease a “gay couple” but the “straigth” couple ends up being endgame. Notice the quotation marks because there’s not such thing as a straight or gay couple for a bi person. They are bisexual in both situations, but I can see where the problem comes from. I’ve been queerbaited to hell and back by a lot of shows and it really hurts. It feels like they are laughting at you for caring. But I want those fans (whose feelings are totally valid, don’t get me wrong) to consider a few things when it comes to Critical Role, the first one being: it’s a D&D game.

Let me explain, because I know a lot of CR fans haven’t experienced what D&D is like in real life (and that’s absolutely valid, you don’t need to play D&D to enjoy CR). This is an improvisation game, not an scripted TV show. In a Tv show you can plan ahead of time what ship is going to be endgame, what themes are gonna come up for each character and it’s easier to deeply explore sexuality and gender as different planned arcs. In D&D you character’s sexuality may or may not come up depending on how you play it. Take for instance how other CR character’s have stated their sexuality:

Beau: overtly. Very *In your face* kind of lesbian. Marisha said “fuck it, I really just want to romance girls and be bad ass”

Yasha: openly, but not as in your face. Ashley Jhonson wanted to drink from that WLW cup while also being a shy disaster. Seafood market is her favored terrain.

Caduceus: Our Ace king has never hidden his sexuality, and yet he didn’t mention anything about it until chapter 114. He didn’t had the need to either hide it or state it. He was simply vibing.

I think Liam is going that route with Caleb. He’s flustered by Essek and Edwulf (Come on you guys, he always asks Matthew if he’s still hot). He also had/has a thing for Astrid and a think he might have feels for our favorite Tiefling gal. I know we are all too used to characters being teased as gay/bi only to have execs pull a “haha jk they be straight”. But this is not Sherlock or Supernatural. This is a show that not only has queer rep, but also supports queer organizations and creators. Hell, I’m sure some of the cast members are LGBT (but I’m not here to speculate on real people’s sexuality). If Caleb shows attraction to men he is not just queerbaiting, doing it for fanservicing or tricking the fans in any way shape or form: he’s just portraying a bi character. The thing is, since this is not a TV show, he is not doing it por woke points or to send a message. He’s doing it because he wants to play a bi wizard with depression.

So maybe there will be a point in which he can explores his sexuality more deeply, but remember he is playing a game. And his character is one that has a lot of trouble opening up to his feelings. Caleb is not someone that makes sexual jokes or flirty remarks. He is shy, awkward and has developed a really fucked up sense of love that he is now slowly fixing. Hell, in the same Talks episode Liam explained that Caleb was trained on Honey-pot tactics. Which, for those of you who can’t stand Bond films, means seducing your enemy/target to get information, manipulate them or assassinate them. WHICH IS A REALLY FUCKED UP THING! Let’s remember how he was the one to push Fjord to sleep with Advantica so they could spy on her. That boy has Issues when it comes to relationships. So if we don’t see him being as overtly gay as Beau, Molly or Yasha, well maybe it’s because that’s the way Caleb is. Bi people don’t owe you flamboyance, or dating both guys and gals for your approval. I wouldn’t make a post if it was only that, because I do feel the people who are aching for good bi rep and would love some more explicit confirmation. But Vax exists, so I know we can’t have good things down here.

VAX EXPLICITELY SHOWED ATTRACTION TO GILMORE. AS EXPLICIT AS IT GETS. HE FUCKING KISSED HIM. THEY WERE PRACTICALLY DATING. AND YET SOME OF YOU FUCKERS CALL HIM QUEERBAITING. AND I SAY: NOT ON MY WATCH! NOT ON MY FUCKING WATCH!!

How come a character can have canonically kissed another character in a romantic/sensual context and still be called straight? I know fucking Sherlock traumaticed y’all into having trust issues but believe me when I tell you: I’ts not that deep. This is not a “Haha I love u but in a no homo way bro”. It’s a “full homo darling, but also we’re gonna break up because I like someone else”. This is the opposite of queerbaiting. Instead of keeping a charade he was honest with Gilmore because he valued his feelings and realized that he couldn’t reciprocate them at that moment. And if you try to tell me that Vaxleth was forced and didn’t have a reason to exist except queerbaiting, let me tell you: you are wrong.

Vax saw Gilmore once or twice monthly while he spent a heck ton of time with Kiki. Sure, they didn’t had the kind of camera chemistry Gilmore and Vax had because Keyleth is not charismatic. She’s really awkward, and her relationship with Vax was more on the adorable and dorky side of things. I bring this up because I’m predicting something similar may happen to Shadowgast.

Trust me, I ship the hot wizards as much as any other critter (even though I’m a multishipper). But they haven’t talked to Essek in centuries. I think it may have been almost a month in rol and quite a few outside. And you have to take into account out-rol time to because they are humans (except Tal) playing a game and they forget about stuff (except Marisha and Matt). So Shadowgast may not happen because sure, they had really good chemistry for a month a month ago. People have crushes that die down over time All The Time. So maybe don’t be so butthurt about your ship not being canon that you accuse an ally of homophobia.

The cast of CR put forward such an amazing representation for the LGBT+ community and it really hurts me that you gets stuck on the one thing that isn’t canon. Matt has created a world in which coming out is not necessary because no one assumes your sexuality. A world in which people respect pronouns and orientations (except Tary’s father, who is a villain). A world in which Cad or Caleb don’t need to explicitly say “I’m ace/bi” unless it comes up in conversation. A world in which his friends can be whatever they want to be without pressure or reprecusions. A world in which they get to explore different gender identities and sexual orientations with full freedom. Let’s not interfere with that (unless there’s missrepresentation), and let them play their game. If you really need mlm or wlw canon couples or more outwardly LGBT+ people you have plenty examples among NPCs and other cast members (Allura and kima, Yasha, Beau, Dairon, Keg, Reani, Tary, Molly and Vax among others).

There’s way worst shows taking LGBT+ cred for barely doing nothing. Fucking Supernatural is the most recent example! Critical Role works towards showing an honest portrayal of LGBT+ folk and accepts valid criticism from their fans on the subject (when they changed J’Mon Sa Ord pronouns from it to they/them). They don’t owe you making your ship canon or portraying their characters the way you want them to (again, unless when it’s constructive criticism). Stop being so Fucking entitled and enjoy the show for what it is

,Respectfully~

*Edit: I´m tagging Caleb’s ships into the post because most hate comes from shipping wars. Most Shadowgast fans are respectful of the cast’s decisions, even if it disappoints them. But since I’ve already seen people accusing Liam of biphobia in that tag and since I’ve already seen this shit with Vaxmore I’m tagging the ship. If you want to read my long ass post do it, if not, ignore it. I’m not forcing you to read it. I’ve also tagged it with biphobia so people can avoid it if it’s triggering. I’m sorry if it makes you mad that your ship is not canon, but that’s not an excuse to be toxic to the cast. Those of you getting mad are the ones that need to read this the most. Like I’ve said in the post: you’re allowed to be disappointed, you are allowed to want more, but you can’t force the cast to give you exactly what you want. And most certainly, you can’t accuse them of some very serious stuff like biphobia and queerbaiting when it’s not the case..

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1989dreamer · 4 years ago

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Awkward Doesn’t Begin to Cover It

Here is part one of why @evanesdust had to be so, so patient for their prompt to be fulfilled.

AO3 link

Written for this prompt (same as Seventy-Five Percent).

Summary: Stiles needs to make Lydia Martin see him as a potential partner, so he enlists the unwilling help of Derek Hale, and Derek, against his better judgment agrees to help. It isn’t long before Derek realizes what a huge mistake it was to agree to fake date the person he is in love with. All he can do is hope that Stiles sees it too before it’s too late. And maybe throw in a real proposal on top of their fake dating.

Tags: Demisexual Derek Hale, Unrequited Pining, Fake Dating, Human AU, Misunderstandings, Communication Breakdown, Mentioned Past Relationships

Getting together Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski

Established Laura Hale/Kira Yukimura

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Derek was minding his own business when 160 pounds of Stiles Stilinski dropped into his lap. Literally.

Derek juggled his book and MP3 player while Stiles lounged in his lap.

“What are you doing?” Derek snapped, setting aside his items before they could get broken or damaged.

“Why don’t you kiss me, boo?”

“Boo?” Derek frowned at Stiles. “Like ‘beau’?”

“Bo? No, boo. Like a lover.”

“That’s what a beau is.” Derek contemplated just standing up and dumping Stiles onto the ground. It wasn’t like he was overly invested in his well being. Stiles was just his little sister’s friend. They hadn’t been close in high school, but had become close in college. So close that Derek and Cora’s mom had started planning their wedding.

Cora had found the plans, sat her mother down, and explained about platonic love, which she and Stiles shared.

In true out-of-touch-with-the-next-generation fashion, Mom still asked when the wedding was.

“Yeah, so, I kinda told your mom I wasn’t going to marry Cora because I was romantically in love with you.”

“What?!” Derek did stand up.

“Ow,” Stiles complained.

“Shut up,” Derek said reflexively. He then grabbed his things, shoved them into his bag, and started run-walking away. Stiles’ love was not something he wanted. Derek was just fine without being drawn into the drama between his mother and sister.

“Are you seriously running away from me right now?”

“Are you seriously chasing me right now?” Derek retorted.

“Touché.”

Derek turned around and Stiles ran into his chest.

“Why would you tell my mother that you loved me?”

“Because,” Stiles ran a hand over his head, “how do you tell her that you don’t want her daughter, but that you want someone else’s daughter?”

“It’s easy,” Derek said. “Just say ‘Mrs. Hale, while I am flattered that you think Cora and I would make a great pair, there’s actually someone else I have my eye on. Cora and I are just friends and plan on remaining so for the foreseeable future.’”

Stiles pretended to wipe a tear away. “That was beautiful,” he said. “Also, both Cora and I tried that. She still asks about the wedding.”

“So you just ignore her. Like I do. Do you think you and Cora are the only ones she’s been pushing to get married. Or have kids.”

“That’s true. Laura can’t be in the same room as her wife without grandbabies being mentioned.”

“Kira knows how to dodge that question,” Derek said, appreciatively. Kira had taught him basic self defense when he was in college. Derek had been proud to stand up for her as her best man while Cora stood for Laura.

“Kira is awesome,” Stiles agreed. “Anyway. I can’t get your mom to leave us alone. I can’t hang out with Cora without her crashing us. It’s like she thinks that we’ll bond over the awkward questions and start kissing with her to witness.”

Derek couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of him. Stiles looked pleased before schooling his face into a mask. At first Derek was confused, and then he realized that Lydia Martin was behind him.

Mostly he knew this because her perfume made his nose itch.

“Lydia,” he said, cordially. She had been the wedding planner for Laura and Kira, and she had been fantastic.

“Derek,” she returned cheerily. “I didn’t think I’d run into you here.”

Derek made a show of looking around the park. “I always come here,” he said. “Were you looking for me?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact I was. Hi, Stiles. Now, Derek, I really need to talk to you about joining my business.”

“Just because I’m working as a grocer,” Derek began.

“It doesn’t mean you can’t aspire to be something else,” Lydia finished for him. “Seriously, just think about it, Derek. You were the most help during your sister’s wedding. I could use someone like you.”

“I’ll think about it,” Derek said, more to get her to back off than any real promise to actually contemplate a career in the wedding planning industry.

“That’s all I ask. Bye, Derek. Bye, Stiles.” And with that, she flounced off, hair flipped over her shoulder, bag swinging jauntily.

Derek looked to Stiles to find he was still watching Lydia leave. “Hey, so, about you telling my mom that you’re in love with me.”

“What?” Stiles closed his mouth. “Uh, yeah, that. So, I just need you to pretend to date me for, like, a month. Just until your mom starts making wedding plans about us.”

“You know she’s probably just going to be mad at me for stealing Cora’s boyfriend, right?”

“So just ignore her,” Stiles snidely spat.

“Yeah. Okay.”

“Okay?” Stiles said hopefully. “Okay what?”

“Okay, I will ignore my mother, and my common sense, and pretend-date you for a month.”

“Thanks. Hey, wait! Did you just insult me?”

“One month, Stiles. Thirty days. Not a second more. If that hasn’t gotten my mom off your back, then nothing will and you’ll just have to live your life disappointing the most obstinate woman in the history of Beacon Hills.”

Stiles narrowed his eyes at him. “What kind of son insults his own mother?”

“The one who realizes that she’s beyond hope and won’t change even when presented with undeniable evidence. Anyway, you’re the one that wants to lie to her by pretending to date me.”

“Yeah, that’s true. So, about this dating thing. What’s off limits? What’s on?”

“Uh, well, I don’t really like kissing someone I’ve just started going out with. It takes more time for me to develop romantically in a relationship.”

“Cool, okay. How about holding hands? Sitting next to each other? Pet names? Also, you realize that the moment you dump me—”

“Wait, why am I dumping you? You’re the one that this farce is benefitting. Why do I have to be the asshole?”

“Because your mom loves you. She won’t be mad at you for breaking my heart, but she might kill me for breaking both Cora’s and your hearts.”

“She won’t kill you,” Derek grumbled. He didn’t want to be the asshole. “You should be the one to dump me. It’ll make more sense in the long run.”

“No it won’t,” Stiles insisted. “Just promise me, Derek, when the time comes, you’ll dump me. Publicly.”

“Wait, what? Publicly dump you?” Derek stared at Stiles. “That’s, like, the worst thing ever for me. Why would I do that? Wouldn’t that be bad for you too?”

“Because,” Stiles explained, with an air of patience like Derek was the idiot in this conversation, “if Lydia Martin sees me publicly dumped, then she won’t have any questions about asking me out.”

“Lydia Martin?” Derek stared at Stiles. “Lydia Martin is who you’re in love with? Why don’t you just ask her out instead of involving me in this stupid plot?”

“Because, Derek, Lydia Martin hasn’t looked at me twice since high school. But if you date me and then dump me, then she’ll see hot people are into me.”

Derek’s eyebrows were as high as they could go, but he still tried to raise them again. “Hot people? I’m ‘hot people’?”

“Yeah. You are. And so is Lydia. And I just need her to see me as a viable option.”

“Maybe she already did and then decided it just wasn’t worth it,” Derek said.

“Ouch,” Stiles exclaimed. “Rip out my heart, why don’t you?”

“What? Do you really think if I dump you, Lydia won’t ask why and then decide that she doesn’t want to date you either?”

“Low blow, dude. You could have just said no.”

“Fine. No. I won’t date you.”

“Too late, you already said you would.”

“Good grief, Stilinski. You’re a little shit.”

“Yeah, I know. Anyway. Should I pick you up at 7:00 tonight?”

Derek didn’t answer. He shouldered his bag and marched away. Stiles wasn’t deterred, calling after him, “I’ll text you later.”

Derek snorted. Stiles didn’t have his number. And then he remembered who Stiles’ best friend was. Cora wouldn’t hesitate to give Stiles his number. She liked it when he was in uncomfortable situations, mostly as payback since he’d moved out and Mom didn’t bother him as much about his love life.

Indeed, before he’d made it home, he had several texts from an unknown number and one from Cora.

He read Cora’s text first.

Asshole. Have ur # 2 Styles. Have fun dating him. Don’t brake his <3 or ill brake your knees.

Derek rolled his eyes and typed back a message.

Thanks a lot, assbutt. I knew you’d give him my number. Thinking about blocking it. And seriously, it’s break, not brake.

Cora’s reply came immediately. Don’t u dare block him. He’s working hard for this.

Really? Him asking me out as a joke, as a way to trick someone else into dating him, is him working hard? If that were true, he’d try to befriend Lydia like he did you and then go from there. Instead, he’s trying to short track it. I don’t support that at all.

Fuck you for making me read a while ducking novel.

Derek smiled and then remembered Stiles’ texts.

All ten of them.

This is Stiles

Stilinski

As if you couldn’t guess

Sorry

Anyway

Just thought since i have ur number, u shuld hve mine 2

So here it is

Don’t hesitate to text or call me

I mean we r dating now

Right???

Derek sighed, saving Stiles’ number to his phone.

“Right,” he muttered, typing the word and sending it to Stiles.

He got a series of emojis back.

Great. Not only did Stiles text like his sister, but he was overly fond of the yellow circles.

Derek felt the headache pulsing behind his eyes, so for his sanity, he turned off his phone and went to bed early. He didin’t even realize that he had completely forgotten about Stiles’ date plan.

As such, a few hours after he’d lied down, he was startled awake by a loud pounding on his door.

Derek grabbed the baseball bat he kept under his bed, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

Peering through the peephole revealed Stiles standing in front of his door, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

Derek swore under his breath, tossing the bat onto his couch and undoing the locks. “What are you doing here?” he demanded as soon as the door was open. “How did you find out where I live?”

“Hey now, I’m not the one that decided to go off the grid for hours. Check your phone, why don’t you?”

“Did Cora tell you where I live? What if you were a stalker or a serial killer? Doesn’t she care about my well being?”

“Yes, that’s why I’m doing a wellness check. Hey, you’re still alive. Good news! Let me just text confirmation to Cora and then you can get ready for our date in seven minutes.”

“I am not going on a date with you,” Derek said, exasperated. He grabbed the bat off the couch and took it back to his bedroom. Despite not wanting to, he turned his phone back on. By the time he got back to the living room, Stiles had closed the door and was sitting on the couch.

“Much improved,” he said, sarcasm dripping from his words. “I guess we won’t be able to go to that establishment. You know, Beacon Hills’ finest fine dining.”

“The Boot?” Derek asked, to be contrary.

Stiles did not disappoint, spluttering angrily without any definable syllables. “The Boot?!” he demanded. “You wish The Boot was fine dining. I mean Costello’s.”

Derek shook his head. “I am not ‘going on a date’ at the only restaurant that my family owns in this tiny town.” Derek aggressively poked his air quotes at Stiles.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he scoffed. “It’s the perfect place to go. Who better to tell your parents that you’re dating than your uncle?”

“You realize that Peter will pester us the entire time we’re there, right? You won’t be able to eat in peace, and he’ll make fun of us. I don’t want that to be my first date with you.”

“Aha! So you do want to date me!”

Derek sighed. “You’re the idiot who designed this flawed plan. No, Stiles, I don’t want to date you. You want to make some woman jealous so that she’ll date you. And I was stupid enough to agree to it. That makes me as much of a fool as you.”

Stiles took a deep breath, as if centering himself. “Okay, so we won’t go to Costello’s. How about The Burger Joint? You won’t even have to change. Just put on pants. And check your phone. I’m pretty sure your mom called you earlier.”

Derek shooed Stiles out. Then he did check his phone. Two voicemails. Sixteen texts.

Two from Cora, six from Stiles, one from Laura, and one from Kira. Six from his mom.

He listened to the voicemails. Both from his mom. Both generic, “Hey your phone is off. Call me when you get this.”

The texts were all variations of “Mom’s trying to get a hold of you, call her”/”why won’t you call me?”

Derek frowned down at his phone. Just because he was unreachable for two hours, his mother was worried? It must be because she had already heard about Stiles and him dating.

How touching.

Derek dialed his mom’s number.

It rang four times before his mom picked up. “Hey, baby.”

“Hey, Mom. Sorry I didn’t answer right away—I was taking a nap.”

“That’s okay. I’m sorry if I worried you. I just wanted to know how could you be a man stealer. For heaven’s sake, it’s your own sister’s boyfriend.”

“Do you mean Stiles?”

“Yes! Who else would I mean?”

“Mom, they’ve told you over and over again: they’re just really good friends.”

“Friends who might get married one day and have babies!”

“No,” Derek said, patiently despite the anger he felt crawling up his spine. He would not be able to maintain a calm façade much longer. “They share a deep, platonic love. While they would do anything for each other, that does not extend to marriage. They’re twenty-three, Mom. Let them live for a bit.”

“And living includes dating you?”

Derek coughed into his fist. “Mom. What Cora and Stiles share is platonic. What Stiles and I share is a bit more romantic in nature. I’m sorry that Stiles didn’t end up with the kid you’d hoped, but can’t you at least be happy for us? We’re actually going on a date tonight.”

“Fine,” Mom huffed. “I’ll call Peter and have him fit you in.”

“No!”

“No?”

“I mean, it’s okay. I know Peter’s restaurant is really busy. Besides, Stiles and I are more casual than Costello’s. If it’s okay, and since it’s still so new, we’d just like to do something by ourselves for now.”

“If you’re sure, honey.”

“I’m sure. In fact, I have to go. I’m late right now. Bye, Mom.” Derek hung up before she could do any more protesting.

Well, that had gone spectacularly. Just like ripping off a bandage. He even had the icky, adhesive feeling stuck to his skin. He decided he needed a quick shower and change of clothing. Should be about ten minutes all told. He shot a text to Stiles letting him know about the time change and then hopped in the shower.

~ * ~

The first date wasn’t as unpleasant as Derek had imagined it might be. He and Stiles made conversation and then fell into a natural banter. If they weren’t actually dating for nefarious purposes, Derek would have enjoyed himself immensely. As it was, he just felt guilty.

Stiles was using him without an ounce of shame, and Derek was letting him. Mostly just to keep his mom off Stiles’ back and let him and Cora have some peace. But every time Derek saw Lydia, and he saw her a lot—at his work, at the garage where they were both having their vehicles serviced, at Peter’s fancy restaurant when Peter wrangled Derek into a shift and Lydia was there with a date or friend—he felt his guilt spike. He wanted to tell her, but Stiles swore him to secrecy.

It wasn’t like Stiles actually had any blackmail on Derek, but his tongue just couldn’t get unstuck enough to tell Lydia about the ruse.

For her part, she seemed not to care or notice whether or not he and Stiles were dating. She flirted with him, flicking her hair over her shoulder, giggling at the most inane things, and standing just a little too close when she tried convincing him to work for her again.

“We’d be equal partners,” she said.

“Does that mean you wouldn’t be my boss?” he asked.

She confirmed it. Derek had never run so fast from a conversation in his life.

On the other hand, Stiles kept taking him on dates. They agreed to alternate who paid and the person who chose the date.

They went mini golfing, which Derek hated. They went to movies, which he could barely stand. They went to Costello’s and the whole night elder patrons stopped by the table to tell Derek how disappointing and rude he was by not working. He thought Peter might have put them up to it because no amount of Stiles telling them that they were on a date helped.

Little by little, Stiles wormed his way into Derek’s life and heart. There were days when a thought would strike him and he had to text Stiles to see what he thought of it.

There was no denying that they were compatible. But they’d never be truly together as long as the Lydia-shaped lie stayed between them.

“So, I guess people believe we’re really dating,” Stiles said halfway through the month.

Derek nodded. It had been his turn to choose again, and they were at the park where it had all started. He was reading a different book, and Stiles was cloud watching, letting Derek use his lap as a pillow.

“Even my mom has stopped making veiled threats.”

“Ah yeah. My dad might have something to do with that.”

Derek closed his eyes. “What did my mother do?”

“She told my dad that I shouldn’t be dating you because that was cheating. My dad asked her what she meant. He at least got it the first time I explained that Cora and I are not involved.”

“That’s good. At least one of them has their head out of their ass.”

“Anyway, when your mom went off on us dating, my dad stopped her, told her we are consenting adults, and that if she’s lucky we’ll be the ones getting married.”

“Hah! Good thing we’re breaking up in two weeks then, right?”

“Yeah,” Stiles said, and Derek might have imagined it, but he sounded a little wistful.

Was Stiles falling in love with him? Like Derek was maybe sort of, definitely falling in love with him?

“Except for how I’m going to marry Lydia Martin after this.”

Oh yeah. That. Derek growled under his breath.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Derek lied. “I’m just feeling a little warm. We should probably go.”

“Sure, yeah. Oh, here comes Lydia. Quick, kiss me.”

“What?” Derek sat up so fast he almost smashed into Stiles’ face. Lydia was indeed approaching them. She looked grim, mouth set in a crimson slash, eyes unhappy.

“Derek, Stiles,” she said as she stopped a few feet from them. “Nice to see you again.”

“Nice to see you too, Lydia,” Stiles returned jovially. Only a fool couldn’t see how in love with her Stiles was. It made Derek cranky and angry that he’d forgotten not to fall in love with Stiles. Trust his heart to decide that the most bastard-y of the bastards was the bastard he wanted.

“Derek, I thought by now you’d have an answer for me.”

For some reason, it didn't sound like she was asking about working with her, and Derek felt like maybe he'd been missing half the conversation with her. Maybe intentionally missing hat part of the conversation.

“I do,” Derek said before he could think better of it. “I don’t want to work in the wedding planning industry, Lydia. Sorry, it’s just not a passion of mine.”

Lydia blew a breath out of her nose, certainly far more disappointed than a job refusal should make her. “Okay. Thanks for that answer.” She turned away, paused, and turned back. “Have a nice life, you two. You make a pretty good couple.”

Then she walked away.

Stiles turned to look at Derek with an amazed expression. Derek looked away so he wouldn’t have to see it.

“Did you hear that? She thinks we’re relationship-goals! She’s already seeing me in another light.”

“Yeah, she is,” Derek muttered, thinking of his mother running around calling him a man stealer. If Lydia had half the decorum she did, she would probably join Talia Hale denouncing Stiles Stilinski right along with Derek.

“Dude, we’re almost at peak relationship. Just a couple more weeks, and you can dump me, and Lydia will rebound me, and then we’ll get married. It’ll be perfect.”

“Sure. Yeah. Perfect.” Derek was aware that he was talking woodenly, voice flat, no inflection. He couldn’t help it. He was the one who had gone and fallen in love with Stiles when Stiles was always off limits.

“Look, I need to clear my head,” he told Stiles. “I’m going to go.”

“We drove here together,” Stiles pointed out.

“Yeah, well. The walk will do me good. See you tomorrow. Okay, Stiles?”

Because that was another thing: they saw each other daily regardless of if they had a date or not.

Derek had learned things about Stiles, like how he liked his eggs, how much coffee he drank and how sweet it was, how much he cared for his father, who had retired from his position as sheriff last year after a heart attack. He learned that Stiles liked his back rubbed when he was sleepy, and that he probably would give great blow jobs. But the thing Derek wished most to learn, what it was like to be loved by Stiles Stilinski, he would never get to experience.

It hurt.

It hurt so much that Derek texted Cora to come pick him up and then he holed up in her room, crying for a relationship he hadn’t even wanted in the beginning.

“Oh no,” Cora said after the fifteenth minute of Derek’s sobbing. “Oh no. Whatever shall we do?” She sat next to him and patted at his back. “Look, all joking aside, I’m sorry you had to fall in love with the second most stubborn man I know.”

Derek peeked up at her. “Who’s the most stubborn?”

“You are. Only you would stick it out in this farce of a relationship when you realized that you were getting in too deep. Listen. If you really want to fuck with Stiles, then don’t break up with him.”

“What?” Derek sat up. “What do you mean?”

“Propose to him instead.”

“What?”

Cora smacked the back of his head lightly. “Instead of breaking up with Stiles, just propose to him. Take him out to the mall and get down on one knee—”

“In the middle of a crowd?”

“No, dumbass, all alone. Yes, in the middle of a crowd. That way he can’t make a scene. I mean, he could, he’s Stiles, but he probably won’t given that he’ll be just as embarrassed as you.”

“And what do I propose with? I haven’t got a ring and I don’t think I can procure one on this short of notice.”

“Really, you could. They sell costume jewelry at any department store. But I’ve got just the thing for you.” Cora climbed off the bed and dug through the top drawer of her dresser. She found what she was looking for quickly and returned, tossing it at Derek’s chest.

It was a black, velvet box. He opened it, staring down at a silver ring set with a black zirconium crystal. It was pretty in a gothic kind of way, and it didn’t surprise him that Cora had it.

”And when he says no?” he asked.

“Then he’ll be the asshole who broke your heart and you can eat your weight in brownies and ice cream.”

“A solid plan,” Derek deadpans. “Thanks for the advice.”

“Hey, asshole, don’t screw it up. You already messed up by falling in love. Now you’ve got to fall out of love. In two weeks.” Cora shook her head. “Only you two would be so foolish as to pull a stunt like this.”

“Hey, it got Mom off your back, didn’t it?”

“Oh, is that why you agreed to do this? As some kind of chivalrous act for your little sister?”

“No, not really,” Derek lied.

“Well knock it off. I don’t appreciate it. And Mom can go fuck herself if she can’t understand platonic love.”

“Sure, that’s worked so well. Anyway. Are you sure I should propose? Stiles wants me to break up with him so that he can get with Lydia Martin.”

“Laura’s wedding planner?” Cora snorted. “Yeah, good luck with that. She’s crushing on this kid she knew in high school.”

“Have you told Stiles that?” Cora glared at Derek. “Of course,” he muttered. Even presented with irrefutable proof, Stiles would probably still want what he couldn’t have.

It was one of Stiles’ most undesirable traits. He always sought the most beautiful things even when they were unattainable, or in the case of Lydia, unavailable.

Derek sighed, falling back and covering his eyes. Why was he in love with Stiles? It was the same thing with Stiles chasing Lydia. Cora was right to call him stubborn. He wouldn’t break up with Stiles because he didn’t want to. He also didn’t want to be the asshole again.

He still remembered high school and college. He was always the one to dump his partners—women and men that wanted what he couldn’t give them. Never mind the fact that he wasn’t interested in dating then.

In fact, it wasn’t until this stupid plot of Stiles’ that he had looked at being in a relationship as something desirable. He actually wanted to spend time with Stiles. He wasn’t quite ready for kissing spontaneously, but he was getting there, okay? He’d been startled when Stiles announced Lydia’s sudden appearance and the demand for a kiss was upsetting. Derek wanted to take his time with it, find the perfect moment, take Stiles’ face in his hands—

“Stop thinking,” Cora commanded him. “Look. Just go, practice a speech that will not embarrass you and won’t tip off Stiles. Propose on the month anniversary.”

“And what happens if we end up getting married?”

Cora rolled her eyes. “Stiles won’t let it get that far. And,” she added, “I won’t let you let it get that far. Now get out of my room. Go mope in your own home.”

Derek obediently hauled himself up. He tucked the box with the ring in his pocket. “Thanks for everything, Cora.”

“Don’t mention it,” she replied. “Seriously. Stiles would kill me if he knew I was involved in the plan.”

“I thought you knew?”

“The proposal, dumbass.”

“Oh, right. Well, thanks anyway. See you around.”

Cora waved him away, and Derek shut her door behind himself. He made his way downstairs, not sneaking but certainly trying to avoid his mother if she happened to be home right now.

She wasn’t, and he escaped out into the heat of the afternoon.

Now. Just how was he supposed to propose to Stiles?

~ * ~

The dates got weirder because Derek was worrying too much about what he was going to say to Stiles when he fake-proposed. He was also picking up more shifts at work and trying to dodge Lydia, who was becoming more persistent in trying to recruit him into the wedding planning industry. Why she thought he would change his mind, he didn’t know. He'd thought once she had his unequivocal answer she would back off, but apparently she'd doubled down and now he was suffering mini heart attacks whenever he saw her coming.

There was nothing about Derek, with his tattered t-shirts, skinny jeans, scuffed shoes, tangled hair, and out of control eyebrows (all things Lydia had pointed out to him the various times they had encountered each other during the year they’d been in school together, Lydia a freshman when he was a senior) that said that he would like to work with cake choices, champagne, venues, and bridezillas. Just because he’d been able to help Laura and Kira make decisions somehow that meant that he was perfect for Lydia’s Wedding Boutique. Yeah right.

Stiles suggested rock climbing (which was only weird because Stiles tried to do as little exercise as physically possible), going on runs (which was about the only exercise Stiles conceded), and various art classes. Neither of them were artistically inclined, but Derek had to admit there was something therapeutic about slapping paint on a canvas and trying to rearrange it into something that vaguely resembled the instructor’s piece.

Stiles didn’t seem to notice Derek’s distraction, and Derek knew why. Lydia was in all those painting classes. She was always at the front of the class, and when they lined up for the group photos, they were on one end while she was on the other.

Eventually though, Derek found the words he wanted to say, and he knew Stiles was beginning to suspect something.

“Today’s the day,” Stiles announced on the exact thirtieth day from the day they began fake-dating. “Today is the day that you break up with me.”

Or it could be that.

Derek rubbed a hand over his chest, certain that he was getting heartburn. He’d been getting it a lot lately, especially after Cora had given him the ring.

It made food taste like pain and sleep near impossible.

With a calmness that he didn’t feel, Derek suggested heading out to the mall. It was the most public place in Beacon Hills, and probably why Cora had suggested it.

Stiles’ eyes lit up and he nodded enthusiastically. “Sure. That’s a great place to do it.”

“Yeah,” Derek muttered, searching his cupboard for antacids. Either he’d eaten them all or he’d forgotten to restock. “Let’s go,” he said stiffly, grabbing Stiles by the elbow and all but shoving him out the door. “Let’s get this over with.”

“You could act a little more happy to be getting rid of me,” Stiles complained.

Derek ignored him. The ring in his pocket was weighing him down and he was tired of Stiles’ shit. He should be glad to be getting rid of Stiles, but instead, he felt a peculiar kind of grief mixing with his heartburn.

“Should we take individual cars?” Stiles asked.

Derek shrugged. “Sure, why not?” It’d make it easier to run away when Stiles rejected him. He just hoped he was fast enough to dodge any blows Stiles might send his way. Derek’d been slapped a fair bit in his time of dating.

“Cool. See you at the mall.” Stiles blew a kiss at Derek.

It just made the tangle in his chest tighten until it hurt to breathe. Cora was wrong. He shouldn’t propose. He should do what Stiles wanted. It would be much more preferable to break up and run away.

But Derek had to stand up for himself. He didn’t want to be the bad guy always. And besides, he was in love with Stiles. He deserved to at least fight for that. Whether Stiles agreed or not.

He shook his head to clear his jumbled thoughts and then drove extra carefully to the mall behind Stiles’ baby blue Jeep.

They parked a few spots away from each other and walked in, hands brushing as they matched steps.

Once inside, Stiles headed for the pretzel place and ordered the largest thing on the menu and extra cheese sauce. Derek waited until he’d eaten it and wiped away the smears of yellow before he smoothly dropped to one knee in front of Stiles.

He took a deep breath to settle his initial flare of embarrassment and then looked up at Stiles, who was staring down at him in abject terror.

“Derek, what are you doing?” Stiles hissed through locked teeth.

“What I should have done all along,” Derek replied. He forced a grin, head tilted up to see Stiles in his kneeling position. It was uncomfortable and there was dirt or something less savory digging into his kneecap, but it was so worth the look of panic on Stiles’ face, more so when he noticed a certain face in the gathering crowd. Good. This either would help Stiles or Derek. There was no more lose-lose.

“Get up, Derek,” Stiles commanded. “Get up now.”

Derek ignored him, pretending to be collecting his thoughts to watch Stiles squirm for a little longer. He pulled out the velvet box borrowed from Cora and flipped the lid open to reveal the black stone of the ring. “Stiles Stilinski, I know we’ve only been together for a month, but I feel in my heart and soul that we are meant to be together. I’ve enjoyed every moment of these last thirty days—” Stiles spat, “Liar,” and Derek magnanimously ignored the interruption “—and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you make me the happiest Hale alive and say yes?”

Stiles looked stricken, as well he should. Lydia Martin had moved from her observational position and was now standing close enough to touch Stiles.

Except she would never do that. Lydia was honorable and wouldn’t steal someone else’s man…would she? Lately, Derek wasn’t so sure anymore with how hard she’d been pursuing him for her business. He was positive that she’d been flirting with him too, but his romantic-meter might be broken. And lately, she’d only seemed to want him for her business.

“Stiles, aren’t you going to answer the question?” She asked sweetly when Stiles remained silent for nearly a full minute. Derek couldn’t have planned it any better. See Stiles use him now. Derek was tired of being taken advantage of and of being made to be the bad guy. Now it was Stiles’ turn and it was perfect.

Until Stiles squared his shoulders, adopting a reserved look as he bent down until he could grasp Derek’s hands. “Of course I’ll marry you,” he said, pulling Derek up. It only sounded like a half-lie.

What?

Next to him, Lydia squealed loudly, clapping her hands. It sounded like a cover up. She couldn't possibly be that happy for them, right? “I can help plan the wedding,” she offered. “I am a professional, after all.”

Derek frowned at her. He watched the delight spread over Stiles’ face as he linked arms with Lydia. Maybe this had been a mistake after all? Was Stiles going to ask Derek to leave him at the altar now? Make him into even more of a monster?

“Lydia,” Stiles purred through a smirk aimed at Derek, “that would be perfect.”

Oh, Derek was so screwed.

“Uh, here,” he said eloquently as he shoved the ring box at Stiles.

Stiles took it and slid the ring on to his finger, admiring it for a brief moment before he turned to Lydia. “You know, I don’t think I can wait for the wedding. Why don’t we get started planning right away?”

“Derek?” Lydia said.

“You go ahead,” Derek said around a lump in his throat. He may have just made the biggest mistake of his life, but he wasn’t sure if he would change it. If Stiles expected him to play relationship-chicken for a second time, he was sorely mistaken. This was a fight Derek could win through persistence and stubbornness. And shit. He was engaged.

To Stiles.

His mom was going to kill him.

Cora was going to laugh.

He needed help and advice.

And not from Lydia, Cora, or Stiles.

Maybe Laura or Kira could help?

“I’ve got a thing I have to do,” he told Stiles and Lydia. “Go on ahead. Just don’t make any choices I wouldn’t,” he told Stiles. Stiles winked and shot him a thumbs-up.

It was as subtle of a fuck you as Stiles could give him considering they were still surrounded by a crowd of cheering strangers.

Whatever. Derek needed to get out of here.

“I’ll see you later,” he said. “Text me when you’re done.”

And then, Derek ran away.

~ * ~

Cora fell off the couch when Derek confronted her with the empty ring box and the news that Lydia was now planning his and Stiles’ wedding. It took Derek a few minutes to realize that she was laughing at him and not in horrified shock like he was.

“I’m sorry,” she said around her laughter, “but it’s a little funny.”

“Is not,” he countered. “Mom’s going to kill me for marrying your beloved and Stiles is going to kill me when he realizes that I proposed for real.”

“You what?!” Mom screeched from the kitchen. Derek winced and Cora blanched.

“Run,” she whispered.

Derek took her advice and climbed out the window while his mother came racing into the room, rolling pin held aloft.

Why she was dead set on Cora and Stiles marrying and having kids would have to remain a mystery. And seriously if she couldn’t grasp the concept of platonic love, then she didn’t deserve to yell at him about stealing his sister’s boyfriend. Besides, it’d been a month. Stiles was Derek’s boyfriend. Fiancé now.

Then Derek wandered aimlessly. Neither Laura nor Kira had responded to his pleading texts, and he couldn’t go back to Cora.

Eventually though, he found himself outside of the old sheriff’s house. Sheriff Stilinski was sitting on the front porch, a pitcher of sweet tea by his elbow, glass in one hand, lazily watching the traffic up and down his street.

“Derek,” he acknowledged with a nod. “What brings you out this way, son?”

“I thought I should tell you this in person.” Derek took a deep breath. “I proposed to Stiles today.”

The Sheriff’s eyes widened almost imperceptibly. “It’s only been a month, son. Are you sure?”

Derek thought about it, about the way Stiles made his stomach ache like he’d eaten too much and yet never enough, about the way that Derek never kissed people but how he wanted to kiss Stiles. He thought about how Stiles only wanted to use him to get to Lydia and he felt his face go red.

“Pretty sure,” he said miserably.

“And what did Stiles say when you proposed?”

“He said ‘Of course.’”

“Of course he did,” the sheriff muttered. “Derek, I don’t know what game Stiles is playing with you, but you need to get out before you get hurt. That boy has only had eyes for Lydia Martin since third grade. No doubt he’s trying to make her see what she’s missing out, and you’re caught in the middle.”

Summed up neatly. Derek knew this. It was the whole reason they’d started “dating,” but now Derek was the one who’d taken it too far, and he knew his heart was going to get broken. He just wished Stiles could love him just a little and break up with him before Derek was the asshole who married a man who wasn’t in love with him.

“I’m sorry,” Derek told his maybe-father-in-law.

The sheriff sighed. “It’ll be okay, Derek,” he said. “It might be hard to see it right now, but it will be okay. You will survive.”

“Thanks.”

And feeling no better than before, Derek walked home.

He found Kira and Laura sitting on his front steps. Immediately Laura leapt up to embrace him.

“Mom called us crying about how you were ruining her chances at having grandbabies. Then Cora told us you proposed to Stiles.”

“Oh, Derek,” Kira sighed, coming to hug him too. “Are you sure you want to date and be engaged to Stiles? Everyone knows he’s pining after Lydia Martin.”

“I know that,” Derek said, working hard to keep any emotion out of his tone. “And Lydia really wants me to work for her in her wedding planning business. She won’t take no for an answer.”

Kira and Laura exchanged a knowing look. “She’s in love with you, Derek,” Kira said. “She has been since her freshman year of high school.”

“I kind of figured that,” Derek said. “I’m not completely oblivious.”

Laura hugged him again. “No,” she agreed, “you’re not. You’re just mostly demisexual.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It just means that it takes you longer to find romantic love than most people. Tell me, do you want to jump Stiles’ bones?”

Derek couldn’t help the disgust he felt at the thought of getting naked with and having sex with Stiles. He shook his head. “I just want to kiss him.”

“You’re not ready to be engaged, Derek,” Kira told him, like it was a revelation. He frowned at her. “You need to break up with him before either of you make any more decisions that hurt you.”

“Okay,” he said, amiably. “When should I do that? Before or after Stiles plans our wedding?”

The look Kira and Laura exchanged this time was one of dawning horror.

“Now,” Laura said. “You break up with him now before the damage done is irreversible.”

“Okay,” Derek said. Sound advice. Just one problem. “I think I might be too stubborn to do that.”

Two heads swiveled as one, and he found himself pinned beneath the weight of their stares, like a butterfly stuck on a pin, waiting for the ether to put him out of his misery.

Kira put a hand on Laura’s arm. “And why wouldn’t you do that?” she asked gently.

“Because,” Derek mumbled.

“Because why?” Kira asked, patience cracking.

“Because I don’t actually want to break up with him,” he admitted. “I like dating him. I don’t want to break up with him because then he’ll get what he wants and I’ll never see him again.”

“He’ll still be friends with Cora,” Laura pointed out.

“Yeah, but I don’t think I’ll come around much anymore. Even if things work out between them.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Cora’s the one who gave me the ring. How long do you think before it slips out that it’s her ring he’s wearing?”

“That’s why you break up with him now before too much more happens.” Laura heaved a big sigh. “Derek, you know that you can’t build a relationship on a lie like this. Stiles shouldn’t have asked you to get him to trick Lydia Martin into dating him, and you shouldn’t have agreed.”

Derek nodded. “I know. I just…” He spread his hands, a parody of a shrug. “I didn’t think I’d fall in love with him.”

“Then you don’t break up with him,” Kira said. “You tell him the truth: that you’re in love with him and cannot continue the façade of fake dating. That you want to date him for real.”

“Sounds simple,” Derek said.

“It is,” Laura told him. Kira quickly shushed her.

“We can come with you for moral support. Pick someplace to talk to Stiles that you don’t mind losing if Stiles decides that he doesn’t want to stay with you.”

“So, not the park?”

“No, definitely not that. How about that new coffee shop? The one that just opened?”

Laura nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah. Derek’s been there once and he couldn’t stop complaining about the coffee.”

“That’s perfect. Text Stiles to meet you there now. We’ll go with you so you have backup.”

“Great. So that’s decided.” Derek pulled out his phone and let Kira dictate the text to Stiles.

Got something I need to talk to you about. Please meet me at Roast’s in 20 minutes.

Stiles’ reply came immediately. Sure. Want me 2 bring nething?

“Nething?” Derek muttered to himself. No, he typed. Just yourself.

Stiles sent a winking face emoji.

Not a good sign.

“Come on,” Kira said. “Let’s go get a table and wait for Stiles.” She patted Derek’s back. “I know it doesn’t feel like it, but it will be okay.”

The Sheriff had said the same thing. Derek didn't believe it any more this time.

“If you say so.” Derek knew they were right. It might not feel like it’d be okay, but it would be. Life moved on, time healed wounds. And Stiles wouldn’t actually hit him. Not in front of Laura anyway. Not if he didn't want a broken nose too.

If Derek remembered correctly, Stiles was a little terrified of Laura. He’d been friends with Cora for so long that sometimes Derek forgot he hadn’t been around him or Laura as much.

“Thanks for doing this,” Derek said, meaning helping him with a potential breakup, meaning keeping him from being assaulted again.

If things went well with Stiles, maybe he’d have Kira and Laura tell Lydia to back off too.

He could hope.

For now, he just needed to get to Roast’s and wait for Stiles to show up.

Easy.

~ * ~

At Roast’s, Kira and Laura ordered a couple of caramel coffee drinks and settled at a table from which they could see the door.

Derek got a milk and a weird look and then settled at a booth where he was easily visible. And then he didn’t drink his milk or play with his phone, too nervous for either.

With a minute to spare, Stiles strolled into the coffee shop and made a beeline for Derek’s booth.

“So, what’d you want to talk about?”

Derek took a deep breath, wrapped his shaking hands around his glass, and looked at a spot over Stiles’ left shoulder.

“I don’t want to marry you,” he said. Stiles’ mouth dropped. “I also don’t want to fake-date you anymore.”

“And you couldn’t do this at the mall why?” Stiles hissed at him. Angry. Within reason.

“Because,” Derek said, catching sight of Kira’s face and focusing on it. “Because I want to real-date you.”

“What?” Stiles’ mouth opened for another reason. Shock, Derek thought. “You what?”

“I want to date you,” Derek said. “For real. Real dates, real emotions, real time invested.”

Stiles slapped the table, and Derek jumped. Stiles looked ashamed, but he buried it quickly. “You can’t do this to me, Derek,” he said. “If you wanted to actually date me, well, you never had a chance, did you?”

And that hurt.

“What?” Derek said stupidly, but he knew, even before Stiles could explain: no one ever wanted Derek. They just wanted him until they realized he was just a pretty face and not even a chance for a lay. And Stiles…Stiles was worst of all because he didn’t even want a pretty face on his arm or a prude in his bed. He just wanted to use Derek to get to the woman of his dreams. Fuck Derek and any feelings he might have.

The air was too thin for Derek to draw a proper breath, but he tried anyway, to give Stiles the courtesy of listening to him.

“Did you forget that I was only dating you to get Lydia Martin jealous? To get her to see me as a viable mate? Well, congratulations, she does now. And you’ve served your purpose, so I guess this is goodbye.”

Derek couldn’t even look at Stiles when he stood up, trying hard to blink back tears.

“Hey, Derek, it’s been real. Forget my number, would you, babe?” Something clinked against the table, and it took him a while to realize that it was the ring.

He couldn’t breathe, because if he breathed then he’d cry, and if he cried, then it was real.

“Hey,” Kira said quietly, dropping onto the seat next to him. She bumped shoulders with him. “Hey, Derek, you’re okay. You’re okay. Really.”

He turned to her, the first tear rolling down his face. “I know,” he choked out. She smiled at him sadly and let him press his face into her shoulder to muffle the sobs.

A few minutes later, Laura joined them. She sat across the table and set her hand on Derek’s back.

He had stopped crying already, but it was still comforting to have his sister rubbing his back. “I’m sorry I’m such a fuck up,” he apologized thickly.

“You’re not,” Kira said with a ferociousness he was entirely unused to seeing from her. “Stiles is. He just threw away the best thing about his life, and trust me, I know what his life is like.”

“That shouldn’t make me feel better,” Derek told her.

“But it does,” she said. “Trust me. Now. Let’s go. Laura and I will stay with you tonight.”

Derek let them pull him up and head for the parking lot. It wasn’t until he was trudging up the steps of his apartment that he remembered Cora’s ring.

He began trying to convince his sister and her wife to go back to the coffee shop to get it.

Finally, Laura pulled it from her pocket. “I got it. I’m going to give it back to Cora. Now, will you settle down?”

Kira ordered pizza for supper and Laura did a grocery run for ice cream when she returned the ring. And then, as promised, Kira and Laura stayed with Derek until he fell asleep in front of the TV.

~ * ~

Morning dawned bright. Derek put one foot in front of the other and managed to get himself dressed and to work on time. He just kept doing that, day after day, and after about a week, he had a routine: work, check his phone on his break for a message from Stiles—there never was any—check it again just in case, head to the park to read, head home, eat something, go to sleep, do it all over again the next day.

He didn’t delete Stiles’ number for one selfish reason: he wanted to remember the good times they’d had, the way he’d fallen in love.

What did Stiles have that no one else had?

He still hadn’t answered that when his phone chirped.

Hey. This is Stiles. Can we talk? Meet at Roast’s in 20?

Derek stared at his phone. What could Stiles want to talk about? Derek had left him alone.

Another text pinged.

Without your bodyguards. I just want 2 talk.

Before he could think too much about it, he sent, Sure. See you in 20.

Then he took a quick shower, changed his clothes, and drove to Roast’s.

By the time he got inside, Stiles was already there, sitting in the same booth from a week ago.

He sat down across from him.

It wasn’t awkward. Not yet.

“Hey,” Stiles said, pushing a glass of milk toward Derek. “So. I asked you here to talk.”

“Yeah.” Derek let the glass stay where Stiles pushed it. “What did you want to talk about?”

Stiles drew in a breath, holding it for a count of ten before he blew it out. “Okay, look. I made a mistake.”

Derek waited. He wasn’t here for himself. So he wouldn’t take whatever bait Stiles wanted to offer him.

“When I told you that you never had a chance with me.”

“Okay,” Derek said, more to say something than any need to acknowledge Stiles’ poor revelation.

“I mean.” Stiles scratched his eyebrow and then crossed his arms. His body language said he was embarrassed and fighting through it. Whatever he had to say was more important than the fact that he was turning red.

Derek replayed the words Stiles had said. “Wait,” he said, “you made a mistake? You mean you want to date me?”

“Yeah. I mean.” Stiles grabbed the milk and drained it in one long swallow. Derek waited him out. “When I told you that I only wanted Lydia Martin, I didn’t take into account the fact that I know you. I had time to get to know you, to learn things about you. I could spend an eternity with Lydia and never learn the same things.”

“And that’s supposed to mean that you should be with me?”

“No.” Stiles set his hand on the table, palm up. “It just means that I realized I threw away what could be the best relationship I’ve ever had. Derek, I don’t want Lydia Martin anymore. Maybe I never did. And it wasn’t until I was saying the words to you that I realized I wasn’t lashing out because you had gone and fallen in love with me. It was because somehow I’d gone and fallen in love with you too.”

“So it was easier to hurt me?”

Stiles shook his head. “I heard the words as they came out, but I couldn’t stop them. I didn’t mean to say them. I certainly didn’t mean to hurt you like I did.” He sighed. “But I did, and we’d be doing ourselves a disservice if we ignored that I did that.”

“So, what do you want to do? Since you’re not with Lydia.”

“Well, honestly, I wanted to ask you out on a real date.”

“A real date?” Derek repeated. “Like, no subterfuge? No ulterior motives?”

“None,” Stiles confirmed.

“What makes you think that my sister or her wife would let you anywhere near me?”

Stiles waved a hand at him. “If that were true, you wouldn’t have met me. Laura or Kira would have instead. So, can we start over?”

Derek thought it over. The wounds were fresh, still painful if pressed. “I’d need proof that Lydia won’t come between us,” he finally said. “And I think we should start with apologizing to each other. I’ll go first. Stiles, I am sorry for proposing to you instead of telling you the truth that I’d started falling in love with you and didn’t want to give you up.”

“And I’m sorry that I put you in that position in the first place,” Stiles said. “I’m also truly sorry for how I treated you after you came clean to me.”

Derek mentally touched the place in his mind where Stiles had come to live. It still hurt, but the pain was lessened somewhat.

An apology was a start.

“We could go to the park?” Derek suggested. “You know, people around, no obligations.”

“That sounds good. Wanna go now or should we meet later?”

“Like tomorrow?” Stiles nodded. “I think now’s okay. Let me just text Cora where I am so that my sisters won’t worry.”

“Fair point.” Stiles paused. “Also, did you tell my dad that we were engaged?”

“Ah, yeah,” Derek coughed. “I did. Did he give you shit about it?”

“No. He’s not your mom.” They both winced at the reminder that Derek’s mother was a different kind of monster. “Anyway. He just wanted to know when the wedding was and if he could walk me down the aisle.”

“That sounds really nice, actually,” Derek said. “If we ever get to that stage, he can definitely do that.”

“Yeah. It would be kind of awesome. Anyway. Meet you at the park?”

“Yeah. I’ll follow you?”

Stiles nodded, heading for the door. Derek followed more slowly, sending his text to Cora.

Meeting with Stiles. Don’t worry. We’re talking. We’re not going to be idiots about it.

Meeting xs is bad idea. Send L?

NO! WE’RE OKAY! DON’T SEND HELP!

All caps means distress

I’m distressed because you’re not listening to me. Look, Stiles and I are talking. We realized that we both loved each other and we don’t want to try when it could be too late.

OK. Ur funeral. Let me kno if u need savin. Luv u

Love you too. Bye, Cora.

Derek looked up from his phone to find Stiles leaning against his Jeep, studying him, a fond smile on his face.

“Good news?” he asked.

“Cora is infuriating,” Derek replied. “But she agreed not to send Laura after me.”

“Hey, just in case I don’t get to say it later, I love you.”

Surprised, Derek paused. “I love you too?” he said, puzzled.

“So that’s settled. To the park?”

It sounded like a euphemism. Like the park was going to be a secret meet up place for illicit “I love you”s and kisses.

Derek smiled. “To the park.”

Let it be the euphemism of their relationship. Let it mark the start of something new and unblemished. Let going to the park be exactly what it was.

~ End ~

#Teen Wolf Fanfiction #evanesdust #Derek Hale #Stiles Stilinski #Prompt

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