#beatheyapper

[blueberrylovv]

I think one of the biggest milestones in achieving your goal is the moment you realise that those comically small recommended portions are in fact correct.

yes a small handful of cereal is one portion not the whole bowl.

yes one scoop of pasta is one portion not however-much-i-pour-into-the-pot-oops-its-overflowing.

yes two pieces of chocolate is one portion not the whole bar.

once you realise that you will free yourself from the fear of eating 'bad foods' there are no bad foods just your bad choices. calories in calories out as long as you stay under your limit you can eat whatever just eat one portion not five.

consistency is the key better do 800-1000kcal a day every day, get your body used to it, don't risk a binge, dont get tempted, dont have cravings than jump between 200s, 500s and then a binge at 3k that will bring you back to square one.

don't back yourself into a corner with the mindset 'i can never eat this', it will make you paranoid and limit your (already limited let's be honest) relationship with food. you can eat pasta, you can eat bread, you can eat sweets just count them well and remember about healthy variety and self control.

yes vegetables are prefered, yes fruits are prefered, yes lean meats are prefered, yes high protein is prefered but there are days when you are hanging by a thread, barely keeping it together eat the damn ice cream if it will help you survive

[blueberrylovv]

i think the most annoying aspect of ąń4 (for me at least) is people thinking you just simply dont ęat or that you dont like fó0d or dont care about it as if the reality wasn't the total opposite...

every waking moment i think about fó0d, i watch tiktoks of ppl có0king, of people owning and working at diners/restaurants, of office workers/school kids assembling their lunch trays, tiktoks like 'choose one' with different dishes or 'build your own lunch tray'. my instagram explore page is literally 50/50 split between inspo (b0dy or m3al) and posts like 'which dish are you based on...' or just straight-up aesthetic pictures of fó0d. i go to bed thinking about fo0d, i wake up thinking about fo0d, i exist between waking up and going to bed thinking about f0od. i plan my męałs in my head weeks ahead of time even tho i know by the time i get to them i will change my plans ten thousand times. i go to a store and i check the labels and do quick math in my head even tho i hate math and im bad at it but i learned to do it well just for this fucking d1sórdęr.

there's not one bit of nonchalance or apathy in this. it is a sad existence that borderlines obsession on good days and overtakes your whole life and makes you fight for survival on bad ones.

but yes sure 'i just dont like fó0d' whatever you say.

[blueberrylovv]

i can joke about it, poke fun at the situation but it's hard to put on a brave face when you know you're wasting your 20s sitting alone in your room, avoiding socialising, losing on friendships and relationships, slowly fading into the background just because you cannot stand the sight of yourself and even the idea of being seen makes you want to jump

[blueberrylovv]

I know we all hate to hear this but wake up earlier! make sure you wake up earlier and you're not running out of the door in a hurry! wake up earlier so you can wash your face and let it depuff after the night! wake up earlier so you can start your day with a warm drink or a few glasses of water! wake up earlier to eat breakfast so you won't feel hungry as soon as you leave your house and you won't be tempted to buy any and all snacks you see! wake up earlier so you can make your food for the day to take to work/school if you do it! wake up earlier to be able to enjoy a nice shower in the morning if you take them! wake up earlier to have time for a small workout or a few stretching exercises! wake up earlier to have time to pick a nice outfit and do your makeup so you will feel good about your appearance throughout the day! wake up earlier to save yourself the stress and to make sure you're starting the day well by being prepared!

[blueberrylovv]

AMEN BROTHER

[blueberrylovv]

i love when there's a person in my notifications spamming likes/reblogs (which i adore so dw if you do that too!!!) and i never seen them before (bc i am insane and i check my notifications and i try to memorise people so if you interact with me regularly there's a big big chance i know you and i think fondly of you whenever you pop up in my notifications like a friend that drops by to say hi <3) i go OMG DID YOU JUST FIND ME DID YOU JUST FIND MY BLOG DO YOU LIKE IT ARE WE FRIENDS NOW WILL YOU FOLLOW ME NOW ARE YOU GONNA COME HERE OFTEN HI I SEE YOU AND IM SAYING HI TO YOU IN MY HEAD!!!

[blueberrylovv]

AM BACK!!!!

anyways hi hello I'm so sorry for being inactive for the past idk how long it all has been just oh so shitty and I was fighting for my life :') I am kinda still fighting for my life but ig I had some nice interactions recently, I started dressing up nicely every day, I am waking up around 6am every day even if my first class is at 9 or 11 and I have time to get ready in the morning (which is so unlike me I've always been last minute kinda gal waking up 10 minutes before I have to get out and stuff), I took 4 exams recently 2 for my Latin class and 2 for my German class and I got 100% in all of them so that provided some academic validation and motivation I needed.

ana has been kicking my ass, hate her so much rn... she came back, kicked down the door and said 'you're gonna be miserable now' and yeah I've been miserable alright. usually i don't mind when she comes back randomly bc usually I use her as motivation but this time she came back as 'you're not making any progress, you will never be able to achieve your goals do you even deserve fo achieve them blah blah blah' v nasty stuff hate it here but oh well I am pushing through ig...

but yeah I'm gonna get my ass back into posting here I think I would benefit from some creative output even if its just a board here and there

so sorry for people I've been ignoring I feel really about about it :c I'm gonna go through my notifications to check who @ me in the past couple weeks so I can respond to you even if it's v late :') also thank you to all the people who are still here and haven't unpfollowed me you're the best ill get back into interacting with you now <3

WATER REMINDER!

[blueberrylovv]

tomorrow a new month starts - however you did in september does matter now - if you did well take it as a challenge to do even better, if you did badly take it as an opportunity to make up for it - new month resets the board, the past you doesn't matter only the current you and the future you you're working on, dont let the slipups of september drag you down, dont let the wins of september make you fall into a false sense of security - new month, blank page, prove that you really want this

[blueberrylovv]

I said in the groupchat that I feel like sh1t bc of my period and one of my friends ordered me f0òd to make me feel better :') I have no idea what tho I just got the tracking number so ik the delivery person is coming...

i want to be sad because I'll have to break my fãśt bc I think it is unfair for my kind friends if I ignore the fò0d they sent me but at the same time how could I be sad when I am being loved and taken care of

I think we all have to choose our battles and today I'm chosing to not be miserable and self-loathing but instead be grateful for the friends I have who want to show me they care about me in the way they think is the best (even if it crashes with my own goals)

I hope you (and me too because I know I'm guilty of it more often than I'd like to admit) can recognise that the people that seemingly hinder your progress don't do that out of malice but out of care, they aren't in your head they can't read your mind they don't know what you're going through all they see is a person who is struggling and needs help and for some people helping is making sure you êat somethig so you won't díe - as frustrating as it is at times they just want you to be okay, I don't think we are justified to be upset with them over that

[blueberrylovv]

your friendly reminder to maybe screenshot your fołlowińg/moots list just in case tvmbłr gets you so you can find your friends easier - with love, your friendly neighbourhood bea who got got 3 times already so she knows her shit <3

[blueberrylovv]

masterlist

@blu3b3rryl0v <- bąckup

the 'think [colour]' series:

#1 green #2 yellow #3 red #4 green #5 brown #6 blue #7 pink #8 orange #9 brown #10 white #11 green #12 orange #13 purple #14 pink #15 green #16 dark red #17 dark purple/black #18 pink #19 orange #20 brown #21 green #22 red #23 brown #24 orange #25 yellow #26 pink #27 blue #28 brown #29 white #30 green

if you work hard this could be your spring/summer/autumn/winter the vision boards:

2014 tumb|r a lazy day inside and drinking coffee angel (male) autumn basketball girl batman (male) beach trip black swan ballet bucky barnes/winter soldier (male) can't the leaves turn brown faster cat/neko girl chappelł róan vibes coquette (poc) coquette dark academia dark green emo emo boy (male) estern europe nostalgia/smutno mi boże fairy (poc) girls with glasses girl with horses goth green goddess green it girl horror video game protagonist kogal light academia long hair don't care male poc manifesting this for october mcbling mermaid (poc) morute natasha romanoff/black widow pilates princess pink summer punk boy (male) punk rockstar girlfriend sage selfcare day spiderman (male) spiderman #2 (male) strawberry the 2014 tvmbłr grunge tvmblr 2014 twilight vampire white and chrome winter zombie

you can send in requests my inbox is always open

tags for this blog:

#thinkcolour - the 'think [colour]' series #beagossip - for answering asks that aren't board requests (aka just sweet messages or giving ideas/advice/perspective) #beathechef - pictures of my męąls (if you would like the recipe/ingredients just lmk under the post or via inbox id love to share so you can also make it) #beatheyapper - just for random yapping yk as one does #beaboards #chooseyourfighter

[blueberrylovv]

as the weather is getting gloomier and gloomier by the day please remember to implement supplements in your day to day life - vitamins D and C, iron, magnesium. remember to drink warm drinks like tea or just warm water with lemon slices if you don't like tea. and to moisturise your face/lips to protect it from harsh wind.

here it's been raining and raining and raining, the weather shifted and now we are truly well into autumn. its supposed to be warmer for a few days next week but after that it will be getting only colder and gloomier. if its also the case for you then remember to adjust to the weather accordingly - getting sick will only slow you down and make you feel terrible, let's take care of ourselves as much as we can to not deal with any more issues than we are already dealing with okay? <3

[blueberrylovv]

mothers will body shame you your whole childhood and give you an ed while also feeding you like a pig then turn around and walk away like nothing happened only to turn around after a few steps to talk shit about your ed and make a comment about how much you're eating all in one sentence

[blueberrylovv]

you step one foot into your parents home and you gaint 2973kg instantly

[blueberrylovv]

as a lot of us probably are preparing to celebrate holidays with our families I wish all of us smooth sailing through the holidays, I hope we won't have to deal with too much questioning at the dinner table and too much guilt, this is one of these hurdles you can't avoid you just have to get through it so let's try to not lose our minds over it

whatever you gain you will lose after the holidays it's not the end if the world

[blueberrylovv]

i've been seeing some tiktoks of this girl who is on a weightl0ss journey and she talks how she uses tips from 'sk1nnytok' (she made a disclaimer that they might be trigg3ring or toxic) and everyone in the comments are praising them and being all 'no no these arent toxic they are good tips' and im like :/

yall are saying that bc a midsized girl is giving them, if it was any of the og creators from said 'sk1nnyt0k' yall would have lost your fucking mind and said she's pro or harmful or other shit but when a bigger girl is repeating the same tips verbatim and she said they actively helped her in losing weight suddenly it's all great. suddenly the fact that she changed her behaviour to implement those habits is cool and praiseworthy yet if it comes from someone who's been on the sk1nnier side their whole life and to them these habits are the norm and everyday life it's bad bc it's harmful and dumb and shallow and everything but the kitchen sink - like how come something that is considered natural/normal for a person is bad but when its a drastic change and complete 180 for another person it suddenly becomes good? i don't get it, how come she's 'doing great' when she changed her whole behaviour regarding food vs the person who has been acting like this their whole life and it's natural for them it 'encourage ęd behaviours'...

and dont get me wrong in my weight im closer to the mid sized girl that is repeating these tips than i am to the girls from 'sk1nnytok' so it's not like im defending them because i feel personally attacked, it's more of a principle i think? idk a fucking double standard? idk how to even call it, i can just see the unfairness of this situation from a mile away