#bcudshgshdb gotta make a different post

[hyperions-light]

screaming and crying and throwing up because Davrin and Lucanis can’t be friends until their fundamental conceptions of who they are and how the world works are destroyed

Davrin the Monster Hunter meets Lucanis, the Demon of Vyrantium, and he sees a Monster. The first thing Davrin says to him is that if Spite takes over he will kill him, and Lucanis responds with more than typical ire for him, because he agrees— he IS the monster (in his own mind) and Davrin has identified what he’s trying to ignore. (Harding also threatens to kill him, but Lucanis never reacts in that way to her).

Davrin conceptualizes himself as a bulwark against the darkness, the grim defender. He IS Weisshaupt, and Weisshaupt cannot fall, but it does. He stabs an Archdemon and does not die, and he doesn’t know why. What is he if not this? He did not protect anyone, he did not save anyone; he did not succeed in preserving anything he valued.

Lucanis has lost everything, but he is still a professional, he is still a Crow, and if he is now a monster he can use that to his advantage. He can control it; he WILL control it. He will go back to work and make things right the way he knows how. But when it’s time to do what he has trained for, he fails. What is he if he cannot even do the thing for which he was made? The only thing he has left?

And then Davrin goes to the Cauldron, and he finds the Gloom Howler, and she was a Person. She was a Warden, and an elf and the keeper of griffons, just like Davrin. Suddenly, she’s not a monster anymore; she’s Isseya, and she’s hurt.

And Lucanis goes to Treviso to kill Zara, and it’s taken from him and he loses control. He has to ask Rook for help, which he has been trying not to do, because he hasn’t confronted the real problem. And in that moment, he loses everything he had left; Illario, because he sees him for what he is, and his cloak of professionalism, because if it had been a job he would have stopped. But her death was not enough, and now he’s not a Crow, and he’s not in control, so what is he?

AND NOW that everything that can be broken has been broken and every bad thing they were afraid of actually happened and the world is ending, NOW they can be friends! Now they can rebuild themselves together ! Because Davrin isn’t ONLY the Monster Hunter, he’s also the man who raises Assan and sings to the halla and talks Isseya down! And Lucanis is not a monster at all. He’s just a man who goes grocery shopping for his friends and cooks special meals for everyone and loves his family no matter how much they hurt him.

Shokra toh ebra! You must struggle with what you are, but you can struggle TOGETHER !!