#bc yes I got a tattoo I'm hiding from my father for like a year already

[julietasgf]

modern day sejanus making a tattoo but his father can't know, so he keeps wearing sweaters on sunny days and hiding the damn tattoo for YEARS until he leaves home

[babygirldennis]

This shit is fake bby!!!

Here she is.. My masterpost of all the dumb, illogical bits of info contained within these s15 “leaks” that make me fairly confident they are complete bullshit. It also includes my little tinhat theories that have absolutely no evidence.

I will be putting it all under a Readmore in case you don't want to risk it or if you simply Do Not Care

First up, I'd like to point out that these call sheets repeatedly give very detailed backstories to characters that have few lines which conveniently paints a picture of each episode's plot. And I'm not an expert so correct me if I'm wrong, but after looking at other similar casting calls, they only ever include the demographic and necessary skills.

Basically who in their right mind would write up casting calls that give away so many spoilers? Seems like that could cause and issue if they were leaked lol. But anyway that's my 1st point. But onto the actual content

So the conceit of this episode as a whole is that during the pandemic, the gang "gamed the system" and received three (3!) Loans to start businesses that went bankrupt. One of these businesses is implied to be the one started by dee and charlie who end up selling to Qanon shaman. Already this is so impossible baby.

1. We've already seen the gang try to get a loan and it didn't work. They don't have good ideas. Ur telling me, they managed to finagle 3 separate loans for 3 separate business ideas from an actual bank?

2. Maybe I just have bad reading comprehension but how does one have a business that is both fictitious and bankrupt?

3. If the customer is supposed to be Qanon shaman, an actual real life guy, why are the only descriptors white and male? They say he's shirtless so are they going to paint on all of the tattoos he has? And if so, doesn't that kind of ruin the dramatic reveal when charlie "throws in" the viking helmet? Why would he do that anyways? Sus.

Moving on

Alright this episode would fucking blow for obvious reasons but im going to refrain from looking at this through my gay dennis thruther lens because im biased.

Purely from a narrative standpoint, a woman hasn't been shown to be interested in dennis in nearly 5 years during the wade boggs episode. Ever since, every single woman he approaches has been actively creeped out by him. And now I'm supposed to believe that 3 "smart, passionate woman" (In Their Twenties!!!!!!) agreed to go on a date with him? And Anna even slept with him! Just because he what? Agreed with her? I'm not buyin it.

Plus the concept of this scenario lacks any potential for comedy. When iasip gets political, they always discuss a very specific topic using hyperbolic situations and flawed metaphors. If this is supposed to be a political episode, what ultimately lukewarm point would rob be trying to make here? So far we know they're ranting about

The patriarchy

Privilege

Socialism

No more personal responsibility(?)

The... nature of power in society(??)

How on earth would an episode like get approved? This shit sounds like a Ted talk. It sounds like it was written specifically to sound like a political episode so boring and pointless it would generate outrage and mile long essay posts from Tumblr users and reddit users alike. Almost like this one lol.

On a completely unrelated note, do not try and convince me that Frank "casual cock ring wearer" Reynolds is unable to perform.

Jeez this is getting out of hand fast. Let's move on

Ok now we're starting to getting into the Ireland of it all. Let me go on a bit of a tangent here about all this.. Now I thinq there are just 3 possibilities. Either this is all a publicity stunt and there is some truth to the Ireland rumors, the entire thing could be bogus from some weirdo fan (ps, if a fan did write this I want you to know I fucking hate you. You did this to me), or it is a publicity stunt but Ireland is just more bullshit.

I am going to assume it was a publicity stunt, otherwise I just wasted my entire evening and I can't have that kind of mentality rn. Additionally, I'm Going to tinhat here for a second and say that the Ireland rumors are true, but the details are different.

I say this because if they were going to do filming in Ireland, they probably figured that that information would be impossible to hide. In essence, my completely unfounded hypothesis is that this leak was their fucked up little way of controlling the situation while simultaneously messing with us.

Ok tangent is over, returning to the casting calls. From the looks of it, dee starts a "scam" acting class and has some very devoted students (Note that Tony was also the name of the porn shop owner. Seems weird!) Presumably after the gang replaces her with a monkey as the title suggests.

Honestly, there isn't too much here that's a red flag to me... seems like a nice little dee-centric episode that is the link to the Dublin angle. Assuming I am At All right, this could be a genuine plotline for Dee. However, the monkey could be a red herring and there could be a whole different side plot with the guys. who's to say. Next one!

Ah yes this is the dennis we all know and despise.. no red flags for me here really, I'm also running out of steam because idk if it shows, but I am majorly sleep deprived atm. Anyway I'm going to the next one

Okay this is where things start getting weird again ough a migraine just hit, anyway back to my earlier point about how casting calls would never contains major spoilers bc the people who see these wont be under any kind of NDA..

These ones reveal that bonnie dies. Again, that info wouldn't be in a casting call.

But also they suggest charlie has a irish penpal named Shelley who is his biological father. First off charlie is illiterate, although as pointed out by @undeadbreeze shelley could also be communicating in symbols. However, this scenario is still unbelievable to me for a couple reasons:

1. Bonnie's last name is Kelly obviously, and we know it's her maiden name because Jack's last name is also Kelly. But Shelley's last name is... also Kelly? In the context of this big ol hoax, it feels like it was written to show that look! his last name is the same as charlie's! That's how you know that's his dad! But It would be way too big of a coincidence if charlie's dad happened to have the same last name bonnie.

And 2. There's the whole mystery of charlie's long-lost sister from 'charlie got molested' but never any mention of a brother which according to this, shelley has been pretending to be his brother for years. And we all know how much rcg loves their continuity, it seems uncharacteristically lazy to just tack this on without any prior buildup.

And finally let me talk about mac for a second and specifically the line in gus's summary "both are gay men who are attracted to the priesthood for all the wrong reasons"

Iasip has commented on pedophilia in the priesthood many times in the past which leads me to believe that they are implying that mac is a pedophile? Please let me know if I completely misread the implications of that statement, but if not, then that is completely insane and one of the biggest indictators that this is fake. Mac is awful, just like everyone in the gang but he is definitely not a pedophile.

However even if i did completely misread that, it's still proof this is fake.. For all his faults, Rob put a surprising amount of care and effort into mac's coming-out. It hasn't been perfect, but Mfhp in particular firmly established that mac's faith is integral to his identity so Its unlikely that rob would throw all of that away for a cheap shot at priests.

Ok my brain is irradiated sludge at this point, but in conclusion. I hope that 1. I'm right, at least about it being fake (Otherwise damb that'll be so humiliating for me) And 2. This eases ur fears a bit. I don't want to lose all faith in future seasons bc I love iasip and miss the gang. If you read this far youre insane but I literally love you so goddamn much because I spent so so long tapping this out on my silly little phone

Please feel free to add on or message me your thoughts and opinions I need to know I'm not the only one who uhhh went a bit insane. And finally: whoever made these is a cunt. Mwah.

[ladyalice101]

week 7. 

Jonsa week S L A Y E D me. seriously, thank you so much to all the amazing fic writers out there, I had such a shitty week last week, but it was amazing to come home in the afternoon and know that I had a variety of fics waiting to be read! 

considering there was so much content this week, this list is ~long~ (well, for a weekly fic rec it is anyway) 

this week I loved . . . 

something a bit different this week. I'm not reccing one fic, but an author. 

@missfaber wrote my favourite fics this week. her ao3 is here, where you can read all of her glorious fics. but here is the list of my faves from this week (which is like all of them).

anchor up to me, love

an amazing au, set in the 50s, in which sansa is a marine biologist, jon is her colleague, and they go on a deep sea expedition to find a giant squid. sounds niche, but like ... if you love “and there was only one bed” and “and they were roommates” tropes, then this fic is for you (and don’t fucking lie to me, everyone loves those tropes, so I'm expecting ya’ll to read this) 

it was a stained glass variation of the truth

this is a fake dating au, but like . . . filled with pain. jon and sansa are broken up (currently for unexplained reasons), but it’s thanksgiving and sansa doesn’t want to tell her family yet that they’re not together. so jon agrees to come and pretend. it is . . . oof. like. wow the emotional beating my heart has taken. but ALSO it’s amazing and I already know that once it’s done I'll be rereading. 

oh moon be still, she is aching

jon and sansa run an inn together. this is a wip, and I think going to be quite a few chapters, so it’s only in the setup stages atm but it’s already featuring protective jon 👀

Wolf's Teeth

a super repressed sansa undergoes a sexual awakening at a sex dungeon. need I say more? 

honourable mentions . . . 

I’ll Be Coming for Your Love, Okay? by @carbonitekisses (I'm so glad you found this list and that I could tag you!)

Willas walks ahead and Sansa hesitates before following suit. Normally Sansa would stop by and chat for a bit with Jeyne at the reception desk but she doesn't want to interrupt. She's ready to walk by and head straight to her office when Jeyne calls out her name in obvious relief.

Frowning for the first time today, Sansa redirects her route. The man Jeyne had been speaking to turns around to face her so quickly it's almost comical.

She would laugh to herself but then she see his face. Dark hair. Grey eyes. Full lips. For a second (or two or three...) Sansa's reality shatters before piecing itself back together into a kaleidoscope of bright colors and pure light.

a reincarnation/time travel au, in which Melisandre and the lord of light do some devious things and bring sansa back to life after she dies in canon-era. except it isn’t canon-sansa that’s brought back, it’s modern sansa. 

this features SO MUCH ANGST from jon. seriously that boy is just one big pile of melancholy in this fic, because he longs for sansa. but never fear, there is a happy ending, and while it certainly soothes your heart after this fic stomped on it, honestly the angst is the best part. Jon’s love for sansa really jumps out of the screen, and there were so many times that my heart ached for him. 

Swarovski Crystals by jeynestheon 

Jon has a type.

The other girls.

Short, lean, and brash, with mouths bigger than his father’s ego. Tomboys. He dates girls that make their own shorts by tearing apart their winter jeans and always wear the same battered pair chuck taylor’s. They like when he takes them hiking for the first date, and they don’t act shy when he fucks them in the car afterwards. They prefer cheap 24 hour diners to the best italian restaurants in town. Their nail polish is always chipped when they grasp his hair as he moves down between their legs. They have random stick and poke tattoos. They snort when they laugh. They have families that they will inevitably hide him from. Rich boyfriends don’t gel well with their real world. He is a fantasy. He’s a way to pass time. And that’s fine. He likes it uncomplicated. That’s his type, all in all—un fucking complicated.

And the girl sitting at the end of the bar—she isn’t Jon’s type in the slightest.

jon meets sansa in Paris, has a dirty one night stand with her, and then can’t stop thinking about her.

THIS FIC CAME AND TOOK NO PRISONERS. hOnEsTlY, I can’t rec this enough. it just fucking . . . took me by the throat and didn’t let go. jon is a rich playboy (kinda) who is utterly in over his head when it comes to sansa, and like . . . who doesn’t love jon being confused and shook by sansa, no matter how rich he is? 

A Dress of a Different Kind by @jade-masquerade

Jon isn’t so sure about a gift Sansa receives courtesy of one of their visitors from Qarth until she convinces him otherwise.

this fic is exactly what you think it is AND IT’S GLORIOUS. CUE AMAZING SMUT. 

With Joy by @alltheprettylittlewolves

By mutual, unspoken agreement, Jon spends years avoiding Sansa. Yes, she’s his soulmate, but to say it’s complicated is putting it mildly. They are finally brought together by a gift from Sam.

Written for Jonsa Week 2019, Day 2: Tropes

modern au, in which jon and sansa are soulmates but think they’re half-siblings. except they aren’t. 

speaking of fics that S L A Y E D me. now, I love a good canon-set sibling kink (holy shit that’s weird to write) as much as the next jonsa, but I don’t like reading fics in modern settings where they’re related in any way, even just cousins. idk, call me old fashioned. 

but THIS. YOU GET ALL THE ANGST BUT NONE OF THE ICK. WHO DOESN’T WANT THAT?! (no seriously, tell me, I just want a few words ...) 

Roses by @jonsastan

“Stark could be right.” One said, biting into something that had been cooking in the fire. “We never see him south of the Wall, and he never fights those fuckin’ crows like his father used to.”

Jon stood, burying his knife into the elk flesh before moving to the fireside.

“What does that southern kneeler say about me?” He asked, meeting the eye of every man and woman there. The freefolk had no monarch, no royal family, and yet Jon had become King-beyond-the-Wall after his father.

King of Stone and Ice and Snow.

- - - - - - - Jonsa Week - Day Four: Songs - {Myths} - Lies

jon sneaks into winterfell under the guise of being a bard. sansa knows he’s lying. 

honestly, I hadn’t intended to read this. Idk why I'm not a fan of wilding!jon fics, but I just don’t read them. I clicked on this bc I saw a snippet of it on Tumblr, and I don't regret it! not only that, but I obvi liked it enough to rec it! 

A Revelation by Janina 

Based on a prompt on Tumblr: cruyffsbeckenbauer asked: Could you write something angsty where Jon realizes he loves Sansa differently once Arya returns?

an oldie, but I rediscovered it this week and immediately fell in love again. most of ya’ll have probs read this, but if you haven’t, get on it. it features jon awkwardly trying to do with Arya the things he does with sansa, and realising that it is . . . NOT the same 

ok, that brings the list to a close! congrats if you got all the way through it, and I'd love to know which of them you read. 

thanks again to all the amazing jonsa fic writers out there, ya’ll kept us alive after the series ended. 

[unoutan]

Bnha x Mulan AU (TodoDeku) Goofy idea/fanfic I'll never write. (sorry anon. Still love you. I just watched the movie and Bakugou is now Yao to me. Hope you see this bc I accidentally deleted your ask x_x. <3)

*

Toshinori Yagi: My, what beautiful blossoms we have this year. But look, this one's late. But I'll bet that when it blooms, it will be the most beautiful of all.

*

Izuku: Excuse me, where can I sign in? Ahhh, I see you have a sword. I got one too! -goes to pull out sword- I'm very manly andddd...tough! -accidentally drops sword-

*

Mineta: For instance, my eyes, can see straightttt through your armor.

Izuku: -slaps Mineta-

*

Aoyama: -sparkling- Look! This tattoo will protect me from harm.

Bakugou: Hmmm -punches guy-

Kaminari: -laughs- I hope you can get your money back!

*

Bakugou: -spits- What are you lookin' at?

Mineta: -whispering- Punch him. It's how men say hello.

Izuku: -punches Bakugou-

Kirishima: -holding a fuming Bakugou- Bakugou, you've made a friend!

Mineta: Good. Now slap him on the behind. They like that.

Izuku: -slaps Bakugou's butt-

Bakugou: I'm gonna hit you so hard, it'll make your ancestors dizzy.

Kirishima: Bakugou -picks up Bakugou- relax and chant with me. -chants, while slowly rocking Bakugou back and forth-

Bakugou: -growls, but eventually chants-...blurbedjal...eh, you ain't worth my time, chicken boy.

Mineta: CHICKEN BOY? SAY THAT TO MY FACE, YOU LIMP NOODLE!

*

Todoroki: -looming over Izuku- I don't need anyone causing trouble in my camp!

Izuku: Sorry...-man voice- Uhh, I mean, sorry you had to see that. You know how it is when you get those, ugh, manly urges and you just have to kill something...fix things, uh, cook outdoors.

Todoroki: What's your name?

Izuku: Ahh, I,, uhh I, uhh-

Monoma: Your commanding officer just asked you a question!

Izuku: Uhh, I've got a name. Huhh a-and it's a boys name too!

Mineta: -whispers hiding behind Izuku- Kaminari, how about Kaminari?

Izuku: His name is Kaminari.

Todoroki: I didn't ask for his name. I asked for yours.

Mineta: Try, ugh, ughhh, ahh Chu!

Izuku: Ah Chu.

Todoroki: Ah Chu?

Mineta: Gesundheit. Hehe, I kill myself.

Izuku: Minetaaa

Todoroki: Mineta?

Izuku: NO!

Todoroki: -frustrated- Then what is it!

Mineta: Deku! Deku was my best friend growing up!

Izuku: IT'S DEKU!

Todoroki: Deku.

Mineta: Though Deku did steal my gir -gets choked by Izuku-

*

Izuku: -arrives-

Kaminari: Looks like our new friend slept in this morning! Helloooo Deku, are you hungry?

Bakugou: Yeahhh, 'causse I owe you a knuckle sandwich -grabs Izuku with fist raised-

Todoroki: Soldiers! You will assemble swiftly and silently every morning. -takes off shirt-

Izuku: ... -secretly or not so secretly checkin' Todo out-

Todoroki: Anyone who acts otherwise, will answer to me.

*

Izuku: -eyes wide in fear and hiding behind lily pad- Hi guys! I didn't know you were here! So, I'm clean and I'm gonna go. BYE BYE!

Kaminari: Come back hereee! I know we were jerks to you before, so let's start over! -naked and holding hand out to shake- Hiiii, I'm Kaminari!

Izuku: -naked and worried, shakes hand and bumps into Kirishima standing behind her-

Kirishima: And I'm Kirishima!

Izuku: -cringes- Hello Kirishimaaa.

Bakugou: -butt naked and standing on a rock- AND I AM BAKUGOU KATSUKI. KING OF THE ROCK. And there's nothing you girl's can do about it.

Izuku: -covers eyes-

Kaminari: Oh yeahhh! Well, I think Deku and I can take you.

Izuku: -still covering eyes trying to get away- I don't really want to take him anywhere.

Kaminari: But, Deku! We have to fight!

Izuku: We can just close our eyes...and swim around -Kaminari touches her forearm and gets too close-

*

Mineta: -spits- Ohh...what a nasty flavor.

Bakugou, Kirishima and Kaminari: SNAKE~ -cue screaming at the snake in the water-

A moment later, Kirishima: Some king of the rock...AHH! -gets pushed off rock by Bakugou-

*

Izuku: Boy, that was close...

Mineta: -brushing teeth- No, that was vile. YOU OWE ME BIG.

*

Todoroki: -pissed and stroming off-

Izuku: Hey, I'll hold him and you punch, heh, heh...-Todoroki walks by without reacting- or not. -calling out to Todoorki- For what it's worth, I think you're a great captain.

Mineta: I saw that!

Izuku: -innocent and cute- What?

Mineta: You likeee him don't youuu?

Izuku: N-No, I--

Mineta: Yeah right, yeah sure. Look, GO TO YOUR TENT.

*

Kaminari: Step back guys, give 'em some air.

Todoroki: Deku, you are the craziest man I've ever met. And for that I owe you my life. From now on, you have my trust.

Kaminari: LET'S HEAR IT FOR DEKU! THE BRAVEST OF US ALL!

Bakugou: YOU'RE KING OF THE MOUNTAIN!

Kirishima: YES, YES, YESSS! -bumps hips with a random guy nearby-

*

Izuku: TODOROKI-KUN!

Todoroki: -surprised- Izuku?

Izuku: The League of Villains are alive, they're in the city.

Todoroki: You don't belong here Deku, go home.

Izuku: Todoroki, I saw them. You have to believe me.

Todoroki: Why should I?

Izuku: Why else would I come back? You said you'd trust Deku. Why is Izuku any different? Keep your eyes open. I know they're here.

*

Izuku: Okay, any questions?

Bakugou: Does this dress make me look fat?

Izuku: -slaps Bakugou-

Bakugou: Ow.

*

Todorki: -awkward- Um...you...you fight good.

Mulan: Oh....t-thank you. -disappointed-

*

Principal Nedzu: The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all.

Todoroki: Sir?

Principal Nedzu: You don't meet a girl like that every dynasty.

Todoroki: -goes after Midoriya-

*

Izuku: -kneels before All Might- Father. I brought you the mask of All for One, and the crest of Principal Nedzu. They're gifts, to honor the Yagi family.

Toshinori Yagi: -drops everything to hug Izuku- The greatest gift and honor is having you for a daughter. I've missed you so.

Izuku: -crying- I've missed you too Papa!

*

Todoroki: Honorable Toshinori Yagi, All Might, I--IZUKU...I..uh...uh..you forgot your helmet. Ah but well, actually it's your helmet isn't it? I mean-

Toshinori Yagi: -smiles with eyebrow raised-

Izuku: -smiling at Todoroki- Would you like to stay for dinner?

Recovery Girl: Would you like to stay forever?

Todoroki: -smiling at Izuku- Dinner would be great.

*

Aizawa: Ohhh, all right. You can be a guardian again. -cue Mineta screaming in joy-