#bc those belong to me and i may give them out at my discretion

[hua-fei-hua]

Extra Notes: Rhythm of the Heart Ch. 3

chapter is available on ao3 or ff.net

i chose crush by tessa violet for this chapter’s title bc y’know. all that stuff going on last chapter where i infodumped abt kiri’s actual motive being “ugh i like him but the idea of being vulnerable and real scares me” and so now he’s going out w/his crush and it’s just like. idk man hanging out w/your crush be like that

and also all the bits where it’s like “holding haaands” like touch touch touch touch touch wheee

this is the first chapter of the fic to actually mention the soulmates thing

i actually have this habit of forgetting abt it bc i treat it so casually tbh

idk if this is a good thing or not tbh but i mean like spoiler alert they are soulmates anyway but how they find out is part of the fun

when i needed to have a long, private chat w/cody the almost-fake-boyfriend and the band room was closed (meaning, no practice rooms), i’d take him on a long walk where we’d kinda talk about the thing along the way, but mostly at the place we were going

i’d honestly always wanted to have a long, dramatic talk on a swingset bc i think it would have been FUN and DRAMATIC and probably also a little POETIC but i never got the chance ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i probably definitely mentioned this in an earlier extra notes post, but it always surprises me with how much i end up projecting onto the characters for this fic hahaha

stuff like “pfft, no, [i know your name] i was just testing you” and wanting to hold smth bc Anxiety(tm) and stopping in the middle of the walk are examples

i also told people “the more you push the crosswalk button the longer it takes” a lot bc that’s how i got myself to stop spamming it so much, and surprisingly people believe it so i’m making this an urban legend now

the shiketsu stuff (i.e. the lockdown, bakugou previously having attended there, etc) will all be addressed and/or covered in the fic itself so gonna skim over that for now

however, if you’re also reading moment, you might have previously noticed references to bakugou being gone from ua for a time but still being present at band memories where it’s specifically mentioned that shiketsu was there as well. that’s just consistency across stories but yeah~!

“[camie] was just a prop” haha lol so fun fact when cody told me that he didn’t want any part of the fake dating to benefit him (before proceeding to repeatedly ask why it had to be specifically him), i told him, “[cody]. you’re a prop.” and i always felt kinda bad about that

the bit where kirishima just stops but bakugou keeps on going actually means a lot to me because despite the fact that cody often agreed to play along with my shenanigans, sometimes he’d sound a lot more like he was just humoring me and he actually hated the idea of doing it

so i had a similar moment with him where we were out on a walk, and it was raining and i had the umbrella and i just stopped, but he kept going even though he’d been the one to insist on having the umbrella. and i was like, “you don’t have to do this if you’re not gonna take it seriously, dude.” 

and i’d dropped down the umbrella bc i don’t care abt the rain and so we were just there, alone on the sidewalk, far apart and yet staring at each other, with the rain coming down on both of us, and it was silent and really fucking dramatic but yeah, that’s why the stopping bit means a lot to me

it’s also there bc even though this fic is told primarily from kirishima’s perspective, i figured readers would probably be able to pick up on some subtleties of baku’s character regardless

i think what i’m trying to say here is that “it makes bakugou realize he’s being kind of an asshole”

while this isn’t my first time writing krbk as a pairing, it is my first time writing them where they’re the focus and have very little in terms of established relationships, so it often surprised me with how prickly bakugou was being

something else that would probably be good to realize now is that at this point in time, bakugou doesn’t actually like kirishima back. he means it when he says, “like as in ‘as a person’, right?”

this could also be interpreted as him kind of maybe starting to figure out that kiri has a crush on him and giving him an opportunity to confess

but yeah since this isn’t exactly a meet-cute, they have a really rocky dynamic starting out, but it’ll develop into something good later on as they get more comfortable w/each other

bakugou's "I have so many fucking questions" from last chapter means that he mostly just wants to know why now and what this all is gonna entail. 

the second you actually ask him what his questions are, they actually kind of fly out of his head bc he's also kinda just saying that in order to best express his disbelief. by the time after school rolls around and he's actually processed the event, he doesn't actually care anymore about kiri's motives and just wants to help, which is basically what happened here in this chapter

bakugou having a side preference when talking and walking is actually something i do. 

i’m not sure when it happened (might’ve been when i was a freshman and walking around w/a friend during pe, and she’d sometimes have a side preference bc her hearing ability varied in one ear from day to day; might’ve been when i got into band and i had to always be watching the center from my peripherals), but it’s basically just foreshadowing here

maybe you figured it out from that alone, but i’m not gonna say bc while the characters do notice it and think it’s a little weird, none of them say anything about it and just get used to it

“well, i’m not gonna grab your face and make out with you in front of everyone we know, if that’s what you’re getting at” :)

this is probably one of my favorite lines tbh

:) :) :)

anyway, so yeah all the bits from kiri abt ~*holding hands*~ n stuff is partly in reference to canon and oh my god the hand holding part of the bakugou rescue arc, but it’s also partly bc that was smth i mentioned to cody when we were first figuring out what fake dating for a night would look like

he was like “wait if i’m your fake boyfriend, like, i’m gonna have to get in character for this huh. what am i supposed to do, like?” and i was like “dude idk! hang out with me, maybe hold my hand??” and his face was extremely D: and so i was like “what, embarrassed? lmao” and he was like “yes. what if i wanted to save this hand for a girl i actually liked?”

lmao

there’s more to that story but it’s not mine to tell

also omigod finally we get to the fake secret dating thing

like i guess i was a little hesitant to tag the fic under “fake/pretend relationship” and “secret dating” bc i’m pretty sure for most people, the point of fake dating is to look EXTREMELY TAKEN to the rest of the world, and if there’s secret dating involved, then it’s at the point where the fake couple has confessed their true feelings after a point where the fake dating becomes an open secret, and then they start secretly dating for real while maintaining the facade of it all still being fake for whatever reason, but that is like, the opposite of what happens in this fic

the pretending-to-be-secretly-dating thing was smth i came up with w/my bff when i was still figuring out the details of the whole shebang before Committing(tm) and asking cody, and for me it was a necessary measure bc cody and i were going to spend ONE (1) night pretending to be dating at a concert that was taking place at one of our sister schools

basically, it meant that like 2/3 - 3/4 of the people performing in the concert knew who we were, and they all had friends who went to our school that they were in regular contact with, and so if it became “public knowledge” at the sister school that cody n i were “dating”, this would become a huge nuisance when the news inevitably came back to our school like two or three days later and fuck man now we have to pretend to date here too?? 

the solution? to pretend to be secretly dating to (well, reason zero, keep cody more comfortable bc he doesn’t like public displays of affection) one, give us an excuse to not look like a couple in the honeymoon stages; and two, if and when i had to use our “relationship” to complete my mission(s), we could add on, “but it’s not been made public yet, so don’t fucking tell anyone” to stifle the girl network and keep people from asking us about it next time the bands met up

our band was in the middle of the two-year prep period for the rose parade at the time, and since we were doing the rose parade in collaboration w/our two sister schools, we would be meeting up w/the people we saw at the concert within a month, so it wasn’t an unfounded idea

of course, i had plans of action that covered the possibility of cody n i “dating” getting out, but he backed out of the whole thing at the last second anyway so it doesn’t matter

ANYWAY, the secret part of the equation is something i really liked, and i wanted to keep it for this fic, but bc krbk was doing this as a more long-term thing than one (1) night, i needed to change things up a little bit, but the motives are essentially the same

people paying particular attention to bkg bc he’s ass. dm? that was actually from cody, whose main objection at first was, “i’m head drum major, everyone knows me and is paying attention to me at all times!!”

girls being absolutely ruthless about the spread of information? yeah, that’s called the girl network, and (you would not believe the amount of stuff i’d heard abt cody via the girl network) that is something mina absolutely would have a grip made of iron over

the bit about girls hyping up kirishima to mina if krbk breaks up pretty soon after she’s officially declared to be over him would be a problem bc in the girls’ minds it’s like, “oh my god he’s actually free now dude wait you haven’t actually missed out now’s your shot you can like him still dude” bc it’s all fresh y’know, and easy to slip back into that mentality of liking someone

i feel the need to again clarify that mina absolutely does not have any romantic intent towards kiri in this fic, and her letting everyone think that is honestly kind of a sacrifice on her part bc like. ew people knowing who you have a crush on and double ew if it’s someone you hang out with all the time. 

tbh it felt kinda weird having tdmm mentioned so casually as an established relationship but i mean, get this: i love them they were the first pairing i wrote for this au, so it makes sense in-universe to have it just be this given no one thinks twice about

“i don’t want to have to learn your taste in music that well” even though i most definitely mentioned this in the first a/n, i think now’s a good time to remind y’all that the soulmate gig is that whatever music you’re listening to atm your soulmate can hear as well

basically, the implied action going on here is that a form of casual affection (or form of showing off the soulmate bond) would be to do smth like humming along to whatever your soulmate’s listening to at the moment, and so krbk would have to learn each other’s preferred music really really well in order to be able to pull out something the other liked with essentially zero notice. 

also, bakugou’s basically saying, “your taste in music is probably shit and i don’t want to have to subject myself to it if i don’t have to”

“ ‘Nah,’ said Eijirou, as casually as he could after a pause as long as the one he’d just taken. ‘I’m not that good at lying, so I don’t think it’s worth the trouble.’ ”

*inhales* 

*starts screaming into the void*

okay so like aside from the fact that he’s telling the truth about being a bad liar IN THE MIDDLE of telling an ELABORATE FUCKING LIE, the long pause bit is sort of inspired by smth from (guess what) my elaborate drama w/cody

blah blah blah context isn’t important but basically i was vaguing abt smth that pertained to him, and he looked me dead in the eye and was like “it’s [the exact thing i was vaguing about], isn’t it” and i hesitated for so damn long (bc fuck i wasn’t supposed to tell him the thing) that if i said no, i’d look like a goddamn liar, so i broke and told the truth

but yeah, when in the middle of an elaborate lie, i took a long pause when confronted with a question that meant either breaking and telling the truth or digging myself into a deeper hole by blatantly lying some more, and i told the truth in a way that blew up in my face later

of course, for eijirou, this truth isn’t going to blow up in his face an hour after it’s told. 

:)

i actually kind of wanted to have a bit where kirishima’s just like “wait what four-year-old crush??” when bkg says he won’t let him take the decision back bc i mean, when you put it like that, holy fuck that’s an intense crush, and then bakugou would internally file that away under “smth’s not right here” bc how do you just not notice that a crush has been going on for four years. i decided against it bc

1. “we’re [all] in this together now” c’mon

2. bc i sometimes regret letting cody take back his decision at the last second, i wanted to solidify that difference between my experiences and what i was writing about by having both boys say, “hey. we’re committing to this, and we’re not going to back out no matter what happens” and meaning it.

i’d seen “bakubabe” thrown around in krbk stuff before, and while i totally agree that kirishima is the pet name type, there was always just smth abt using “babe” on a s/o that rubbed me the wrong way, so the bit where it was just like “aight that felt weird to say” was mostly just me trying to get used to typing it bc he probably will be using it again later

i’d like to think that bakugou picked up “hon” as a pet name (if you could call it that) from his mother, whom i think would probably call him n her husband “hon” a lot

if not that, then compared to my usual 95% confidence interval on writing bakugou in-character, i’m like 23% sure that baku calling anyone “hon” on impulse is in-character, but it’s also fun to imagine so i’ll let it slide

there was a moment in talking out the details w/cody that i told him, “okay, one last thing. [band pres] has to know everything” and he had this extremely unreadable expression on his face, but more in the sense that it looked kinda “oh shit” and i couldn’t tell what he was thinking than it just being ridiculous. 

the difference here is that there’s more context around cody’s expression that changes depending on how much you have, whereas with bakugou it’s just like a “what the fuck?” w/o any deeper meaning

“if i don’t have someone to talk to about all this, i will probably go insane”

i went months without telling the majority if not all of my squad about the elaborate web of lies and dramatics that i was involved in when it came to cody, and my mental health really did suffer for it because 

first of all, i don’t like telling lies, even little white lies or simply withholding the truth, but in order to keep the delicate social situation from positively exploding and hitting everyone with the shrapnel, i had to keep problems to myself, which leads into

secondly, i, like, need to talk about my problems, or at least write about them in a place where people will read and respond to them in some way. (i do have fic up for other fandoms where i closely map my experiences onto the characters and let people say what they will abt their actions, although it’s difficult to consider rhythm one of those bc the goal is to tell a story that merely draws from the experiences) it’s like, i know what to do when i hurt. i write, and i talk, and i use my words, so that i can understand how it feels and tune out its sharpness.

and i wrote about everything in excruciating detail in my diary, but because it was the basic equivalent of talking to a wall (yeah, you get it out, but you don’t always know what to do about it next), it really sucked, to put it lightly.

i told them abt it eventually and things got better tho like i’m fine now

so yeah. even though kirishima won’t be getting into as much of a sinkhole that i found myself in, i still wanted to put this line in there for myself, to at least provide him the external support he’d need in something as i guess emotionally complex as this

i did NOT suffer to wish it upon my fictional characters whom i want to give a neat little happily ever after ugh

“if [sero, kaminari, and i all] have to keep [the fake bit] a secret from [mina] [...] it’s all just gonna fall apart” oh hey look at that foreshadowing

“who the fuck would i tell” / “i was thinking smth along the lines of your friends” 

so unfortunately, bc of the nature of the bakusquad, bkg doesn’t really have a whole lot of friends in this au, especially no one he’d think worth talking to abt the fake dating thing. however, it wouldn’t weigh on him in the same way it does kirishima for reasons that’ll be discussed more in like... at minimum, mentioned in chapter 6, but not properly covered until chapter 19.

reasons that’ll be explored later in the fic, and he just has less to worry about in general. to him it’s just fake dating; there’s nothing emotional at stake for him until later on when surprise, “fuck, feelings” stuff happens

anyway, he does eventually come to trust jirou and become friends with her bc they have the shared solidarity of being the drum majors

okay so fun fact that ties in with moment, but i’ve been pretty careful to not describe kirishima as a redhead until they reach this point in time (december) bc he doesn’t start dying his hair until pretty soon before asking bakugou to be his fake boyfriend

what this means is that basically, in the few later chapters that’ll jump back to november (as well as any chapters of moment that take place before december), i might call his hair black

this is less of a plot point than it is a residual effect of my original plans for kiri’s fake dating motives of “he wants to be braver and come out of his shell and be more social and stuff, so he decides to go big or go home and ask bakugou, someone who kind of scares him and whom he’d never talked to before, to be his fake boyfriend”

i changed them bc i wanted to divorce the story more from my experiences and motives going into my own fake dating shebang, and also bc i feel like paralleling his canon desire to become braver by pushing himself to do good recklessly (in order to become a better hero) with wanting to become braver by picking out this dude to pretend to date (with my own authorial agenda of getting them together) would just be a bit of a disservice to his canon character tbh

in a way, i feel like keeping the hair color change as a reflection of his resolve to stick this through and face the questions the situation poses head-on is still a bit of a disservice to his character, so i might not even explicitly state his hair color in chapters happening before december. like i said, it’s not important at all; it’s just a random detail

“kaminari was at least a little addicted to the sandwiches at the deli” this is a reference to moment! just a minor easter egg tho

i have a deleted scene in my notes where instead of kirishima going “i don’t have money” to bakugou telling him to bet, he says “no i have sweet beefy arms, not sweet beefy legs” (to which bakugou says, “your fault for skipping leg day”), which would have led into the “make me” bit, but i decided against it bc it just didn’t sound right tbh

i kept the “make me” bit tho bc wow that’s just a good trope y’know

this was the first time in writing perfect harmony that the discord server kaminari, mina, sero, and kirishima share is brought up, though i swear i’d at least referenced it before

anyway, calling it “my idiot, my idiot, my idiot, and me” is actually a bit of a nod to the podcast my brother, my brother, and me

it feels very weird typing mbmbam out all in full and properly italicized like that lol

they would absolutely call it mi-mi-mi-me out loud

#kaminari-eats-bees is just their name for the general chat, and i have no idea where i got that idea bc it fell into my head one night as i was trying to fall asleep

anyway, their discord names are just their hero names, though within the server, their server nicknames are their first choices for a hero name, which is why mina’s “alien queen” instead of “pinky”

what this means is that some of them have different names between DMs and the server messages, although i don’t think that’s going to come up

as for why they’d do that, the answer is probably some concept of professionalism in other servers they might be in. like, my discord name used to be roast ze trash, but when faced with the idea of joining a zine discord under that name, i changed it to 愈花 bc i wanted to look a bit more professional lol

side note i chickened out on applying to that zine or joining the discord, but i was satisfied w/just having roast ze trash as a server nickname w/friends and never changed it back

anyway, the way discord messages are styled in the fic is different than the way i typically style chats in fics (particularly on ao3 where i’m actually allowed to have paragraphs justified to the right) bc of the simple nature of discord having a different layout than typical text messengers

it actually took a little bit of playing around before i settled on doing it the way i did bc while i had written a short group chatfic before, this was my first time writing out a discord chat log, and for the sake of accessibility (to people who might download my fics for whatever reason) i absolutely refuse to use ao3 skins. this has no relation whatsoever to the terror i feel looking at the code for ao3 skins and thinking about potentially editing them.

anyway, fun fact that isn’t shown in any published edition of the fic, but on my google doc, the characters’ usernames are all colored the way they would in an actual discord server lol

this has no relation to the fact that if i do not have different colored names in a discord chat, i WILL lose track of who’s talking, especially when scrolling through backlogs to track down a quote or whatever

i did my best to give the four of them at least slightly different typing styles (all while aggressively avoiding my own personal texting pet peeves (bias of me i know)), but i don’t think it showed too much here hahaha

i also don’t know how often mimimime logs will pop up in the fic, so maybe it won’t matter in the end

“bakugou facepalmed so hard, eijirou was pretty sure it would have knocked any more thinly-skulled person out cold” idk how clear this sentence was (bc it took some work to construct it in a way that made sense to me), but basically that’s kirishima’s very obtuse way of saying bakugou is a thick-skulled hardhead

bakugou offering kirishima a ride home is another bit that means more to me than might first meet the eye bc even though i couldn’t drive, i lived far from school (bc the district lines were wack), and i had chill parents, and so i’d often offer friends rides home if things were getting late, assuming i hadn’t biked to school that day ofc

i also have a soft spot for this moment bc of the way it hits kirishima that bakugou’s being, like, genuinely sweet here, in his own way. like, for most of the chapter, they’re bickering, or they’re being snippy and aggressive with each other, and then, right when kirishima learns to expect bakugou to get mad at him, he doesn’t. 

and idk man! at some point i just got used to people being annoyed when i ask for or offer things that when people respond in a way that signals their genuineness, i’m just taken aback a little, and i gave that response to kiri here

an alternate reaction to bakugou saying “i can drive” was kiri going, “what?! then why did we walk here?!?” to which bakugou says, “i don’t know!!” and then kiri laughs bc holy shit this is real, and this is what it’s like to date bakugou fucking katsuki, huh? 

i’m not entirely sure why i changed it, but it probably has something to do with wanting to show a glimpse of bakugou actually being well-intentioned by agreeing to this bc while bakugou katsuki isn’t necessarily a good kid, he means well most of the time, dammit.

overall, this chapter ended up being a lot longer than i anticipated, taking up more than half of the fic so far, and i was originally going to have them talk about more things, such as:

 more on boundaries in a “do not cross this line” way (vs. the “this is about as far as we’ll have to go” way that was covered) and

behavior in a “in this hypothetical situation involving people who each have different ideas of what we are, how do we act around each other” kind of way

but i have the opportunity to cover those sorts of things in a later chapter anyway

wow okay long notes post. there’s always a lot to talk about with this fic bc of its relationship to my complex, uh, past and dealings with similar experiences. hopefully, as the fic moves more into territory less related to my own personal experiences (thus becoming more fictional), the notes will focus less on explaining the authorial context and more on character relationship meta. it will eventually move back into events inspired by my dumb life, but like i said, it’s not a retelling, so we’ll have to see how those notes go then.

anyway jesus christ if you read all that, you’re hella invested in either this fic, my life, or both, and i’m pretty impressed. send your thoughts and/or further questions to my inbox (or comments section on ao3, if you’d prefer a longer character allotment lol)!! 

next chapter should be out next monday~

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

In case you wish to read the second chapter of Embers of Sun and Flame, it can be found under the cut. ^_^ I also have made an A03 where I’ll be posting any new chapters of it, but other BC fics are still only on Tumblr. I go but the same username on both platforms.

Keeping in mind that the fic will have some mature content, reader discretion is advised. But this particular chapter is still very much purely introduction and building for future encounters.

Word count: 4161

Chapter 2

Sunlight filtered through the window between the curtains, pressing gentle kisses onto Solara’s eyelids, making them flutter. The warmth and softness of the bed felt like home to her, wrapping her into a cloud of all that was good. She changed sides, curling around her blanket and burying her nose into the pillow. But the moment of tranquil twilight had passed her, and sleep did not weigh her bones any longer, so she rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. She exhaled deeply, concentrating on nothing but silence and the beat of her own heart.

Suppose I should get up…she thought as there was a knock at the door.

“Yes?” she stated while sitting up and gazing to the door.

“Good morning ma’am,” a meek voice began as the door started to open and a maid peeked inside, holding a pile of clothes. “I have brought you your clothes, and breakfast is being served in a half an hour,” she continued while remaining in the doorway, standing in place much like a statue and averting her gaze.

Poor thing… Solara thought to herself, while smiling to her and giving a slight nod. “Thank you. If you’d be so kind as to lay my clothes down on that chair,” she nodded towards an armchair that was placed nearby the intricately crafted dressing table in the room.

“Yes ma’am,” the maid squeaked and hasted towards the said chair while Solara pulled the covers off of her, making a slight shiver pass through her, as the air felt cold in comparison. But as much as she wished to allow herself just five more minutes of comfort beneath the blanket, she knew that it wouldn’t end up being just the five minutes and thus it’d be better for her to just get up.

“Oh, and um,” she spoke with a slightly absent tone, trying to let the syllable flow from her as softly as possible, but the maid still spun around as if expecting to be scolded. Solara gazed at her, pausing her sentence as she didn’t quite expect such a reaction and wondered if there was some form of speech, she hadn’t yet realized that was making the maid so uneasy. “I’m afraid that as I haven’t yet visited the dining hall, I’m unable to make my way there unassisted.”

Solara sat on the edge of the bed, seeing how the maid’s eyes shifted around as she was furiously thinking of a suitable reply.

Or then she’s just new in the position, she thought, thinking if she should offer the maid an answer hidden into a question. “So, I was wondering if I could have someone escort me there in, let’s say 20 minutes?”

The maid blinked as a violent blush rose to her cheeks. “Yes, ma’am!” she exclaimed, horror rising to her complexion right after. “I’m sorry ma’am. I- Yes, someone will be over,” she mumbled as her courage failed her and her eyes fell to the floor. Her body trembled in place, giving of the appearance of wanting to bolt from the room. “May- may I be excused ma’am?” Her voice quivered, the question being directed to Solara, but one was only able to tell because of the addition of ‘ma’am’ at the end of the sentence.

“Yes, you may,” Solara smiled, trying to understand the maid’s behaviour, but opting to say nothing. After all, there was no damage done and the last thing she wished to do was to discourage the young woman who hasted out of the room. Solara waited for a while, feeling the faint mana disappearing into the distance, and exhaled deeply as her lips curved into a gentle smile. She’ll be alright as long as she gets used to interacting with nobles.

Her thoughts lingered on the interaction for a moment as she retrieved a hair brush from her bag and sat at the dressing table. She watched her strawberry blond locks being tangled up, and the barely noticeable specks of gold, hidden in the sea of forest green in her eyes, glittered as the light hit her from just the right angle. The pendant that bore her family crest dangled out in the open, as a result of the tossing and turning she must have done in her sleep. The ornamental threads of fate entwining around the halves of the celestial bodies in the middle, sun and moon being equal in their union, being depicted on the piece of jewellery.

She hummed a tune as she brushed her hair, letting her mind wonder around, but landing mostly on the topics that circled around the question: “Wonder what will happen on my visit here?” Only her humming lingered in the air as she tied her hair half up, to keep it from her complexion for the day. I wonder how Mereo is doing. She doesn’t really say it, but she cares about her brothers and she must be feeling awful. She sighed. But she’s strong enough to pull through, that much I know. I just- I just wish the best for her. Slight melancholy settled on her expression as she stood up and got dressed. The feel and weight of her own clothes brought her a sense of home, the thought of which made her scoff as she buckled the belt of her pants before slipping into the double slit dress of hers, the long sleeves and high neck bringing warmth back to her body. She sat back onto the chair while putting on her boots, wondering if she should wear her pendant out in the open, opting to have it under her clothes, if there was a chance of finding herself from a battle. She fumbled with the pendant while staring into the distance. It means more to me than to them, she thought and tugged it in through the collar of her dress.

She got up and walked out of the room, only to see the maid who had escorted her to her room yesterday standing behind and jolting slightly. The maid placed her hand on her chest, taking a deep breath to calm herself.

“Good morning ma’am. Please forgive me, but I was a bit startled,” the maid admitted while taking a step back and giving Solara some room. “I’m here to escort you to the dining hall. Please, right this way,” the maid stated while straightening her back and gesturing down the corridor.

“It’s quite alright. My apologies for giving you a scare,” Solara replied while nodding earning a smile from the maid.

They travelled in silence, only the sound of their steps echoing from the walls. Solara made sure to memorize the way as she wished to be able to make her way back on her own, trying to ignore the still lingering feeling of unexplained emotional warmth that made her feel as if she belonged. But the feeling was hiding behind every corner, on every surface and laid in every reflection. Why? What is this? She thought as they entered a large dining hall, seeing a vermillion haired woman already seated by the table.

The maid bowed first to the woman, presumably the lady of the house, and then to Solara. The woman turned her gaze and smiled, as Solara approached the table. Her aura was motherly and her smile was radiant, only adding to the existing atmosphere in the room.

Solara approached the table and greeted: “Good morning my lady.” She gave a polite curtsey, recognizing the lady’s position.

“Good morning,” the lady replied, slight surprise passing through her eyes as she gestured for Solara to take a seat, an invitation which was gladly accepted.

“I do need to admit that as Leona told me that she made a friend on her journey, I did not expect them to know their way around the court.” Lady Vermillion smiled with a hint of apology painted across her expression.

“Well, if I’m completely honest, neither did I expect to meet someone of noble birth out there. But I must say that I am glad to have done so, and that my manners seem to be in accordance to the local ones,” Solara chuckled while taking her seat, giving Lady Vermillion a forgiving smile.

“Yes, they are,” the Lady chuckled. “It is quite curious, isn’t it? How we carry our upbringing with us wherever we go, and how difficult it is to shed those small telling signs. An imitation of court manners will always be just that, an imitation,” she continued.

“Hmmm. But if one hasn’t taken the time to learn the proper etiquette, then it is quite difficult to tell,” Solara smirked, making the Lady chuckle.

“Yes, that is indeed true. This kind of life isn’t for all, but if that is the case, such etiquette shouldn’t be forced. Our lives are our own, and which path we choose to take is up to none but ourselves,” she stated, knowing fully well the nature of her strong-willed daughter. They nodded in agreement, smiling to each other across the table as an explosion boomed in the distance.

Solara turned her head towards the sound, raising an eyebrow, but Lady Vermillion wasn’t fazed even in the slightest. “May I ask what that was?” Solara gazed to her with a slight confusion and a veil of concern.

“Hm?” the Lady uttered, only then seeming to register the sound. “Oh, no, no. It’s quite alright. Leona and my husband are having a talk, and I take it that she learned the placement of the Crimson Lion Kings in this year’s Star Ceremony.” Her response was casual, implying as if destroying your own residence was commonplace.

“I see. I do think Mereo mentioned something about the ceremony. It serves as a kind of feedback for each squad’s performance during the year, does it not?” Solara asked, moving on with the topic.

Lady Vermillion nodded and opened her mouth to reply, but she was interrupted by a greeting which boomed through the air: “Morning mom!” They both turned their heads towards the sound as a red-headed boy emerged into the room, marching towards the table.

“Morning Leo,” Lady Vermillion greeted, her tone reflecting the smile she must have been wearing despite Solara not seeing it.

Leo looked at Solara intently, the gears in his head visibly turning as he stood next to her.

“Good morning. I’m Solara,” she smiled, wondering what was the reason behind the stare. The boy blinked before erupting into a laugh.

“You must be aneue’s friend! That means that you’re my friend too! I’m Leopold, but you can call me Leo,” the boy exclaimed, seeming to yell out everything he said.

Lady Vermillion directed Leo’s attention, encouraging him to sit down so that they might be able to start breakfast as soon as Mereo and Lord Vermillion arrive.

The air was soon filled with friendly chatter as Lady Vermillion asked Leo questions about his studies and his duties as a knight. A few questions came Solara’s way, and she gladly answered them, feeling at home at the table. What lively, wonderful people, she thought to herself as eventually Mereo and her father arrived, and they began eating, Mereo asking Solara to tag along to the Crimson Lion Kings Headquarters eventually. Her inquiry coming out as more of a commanding assumption than a question, but Solara didn’t mind as she was already quite used to Mereo’s style of speaking.

---

“How’s your brother?” Solara inquired as they flew to the Crimson Lion Kings’ base. Leo, who was with them, stayed silent and stared ahead of him. The before so cheerful young knight, clenched his jaw, clearly worried for his brother.

“His condition is stable, but there haven’t been developments for the better either, for a while now,” Mereo paused and scoffed. “He would have better things to do than nap. I need to give him a proper beating for acting so careless when he wakes up.” Her tone was serious and determined, unwilling to accept any other outcome than her brother waking up. But what laid between the empty spaces of the words, was the lingering worry and perhaps, who knows, a slight hint of fear.

“Perhaps save that beating after you have done away with those who put him in a coma,” Solara gave Mereo a careful smile, seeing the lioness’ expression soften.

Mereo only hummed in reply as a hint of a smile tugged her lips, feeling the reassurance in the statement. From the corner of her eye, she saw Leo’s body relax with the confidence she and his sister had, giving him hope.

Poor boy. Solara couldn’t help but feel bad for Leo, who she had understood to idolize his brother, much like her youngest sister apparently idolized her and Selena. She wanted to give the young lion a hug and comfort, but didn’t know him well enough to do so. Nor did she know if he was the type to accept such gestures, so they flew in silence as yet another sensation overtook Solara.

She felt as if butterflies would be swirling inside of her in unexplained anticipation, as if something grand was going to take place making her nervous. A frown formed on her face as she thought about it, scoffing to herself internally as she didn’t believe in such concepts as destiny or fate, more than as idle words and found in old practises, but she couldn’t shake off the feeling that was burrowing its way down to her bones.

I must have seen a dream about something like this, which is making me feel like this. Yes, that must be it. I’ve had a dream where I was travelling to a destination and something happened there. But the answer she gave herself didn’t satisfy her, as the feeling of dèjá vu was familiar to her. This was something else. It was like there was a pull towards something, as if she was walking in a dream, knowing where to go but not why. And what was hidden under the need to advance, beneath the anticipation, was a hint of dread. Not the bone rattling terror one might feel in the dead of the night, while walking through the valley of the shadow of death, but the kind one feels when they are on the verge of something new. The gnawing uncertainty before taking the final step into the unknown, after which you’d cease to be the person you were a moment ago. Something in her would end to give way for something new, but what would that new be, she did not know. But despite the twisting and turning of her insides, she stayed still keeping her gaze fixed into the horizon, since it was what she willed to do. What laid ahead, would not destroy her, unless she allowed for it.

---

After arriving to the Headquarters Mereo marched forward, Solara following after her. Leo disappeared somewhere, Solara not having time to ask if she wished to keep up with Mereo. The twists and turns of these corridors failed to radiate the same comfort of home as back at the castle, and yet, the walls kept whispering to her, asking her to stay. Solara frowned, trying to push the feeling away, force it somewhere deep down to the soles of her boots so that she might tread over it. This will pass. It is nothing more than a memory of a dream…she tried to convince herself, but found her train of thought unable to write over the flutter that was now circling around her heart, making her hands tremble.

They reached a door, through which Mereo burst without a second thought. Solara stepping in, not far behind, but stopped to look around at the doorway. It was an office. A finely crafted mahogany desk sat next to a side wall, allowing sunlight to be fully cast through the window at the other end of the room. A lounge sofa rested under the window, a side table next to it, and there a bookshelf that started circling around the room onto the other side wall across the desk, but no further. There was a red rug, that matched the sofa on the floor, bringing warmth into the room. But Solara’s gaze turned back to Mereo who was standing next to the large armchair that sat behind the desk.

“What bullshit is this?!” Mereo yelled while crushing the document she had been reading in her hand.

“Hm?” Solara uttered and walked over, holding her hand out.

“The latest performance reports. It seems my brother has been slacking off and forgetting to keep the squad in a tight leash,” Mereo scoffed while handing the document to Solara.

Her eyes skimmed through the page, but the results told her very little, as she had nothing to compare them to. She picked up another document, letting her eyes dance over the words. “How are they doing compared to the previous years?” Solara asked, keeping her gaze locked with the piece of paper.

“Like shit,” Mereo spat out with flaming eyes.

“What I meant was that they could have improved from last year, but not just as much as the other squads. And in that case wouldn’t it be more sensible to compare these reports to those of previous years?” Solara finally lifted her gaze from the documents, seeing Mereo staring at her without blinking.

“You know, you sound a bit like my dim-witted brother.” Mereo finally said, her tone calmer than a moment before. “They are just weak, that’s their issue. But if you really want to go through the reports, I’m not stopping you,” she continued, making Solara raise an eyebrow.

“Are you sure that I should? I mean, I’m not even a member of the Crimson Lion Kings.” She questioned, her gaze not wavering from Mereo’s.

“I’ll make you a member. You said that you want to help, and quite frankly I don’t give a rat’s ass about paper work, but it needs to be done because otherwise the Mushroom head will have a stroke. Besides, I need someone to look after the cubs when I’m tied elsewhere.” Mereo continued, her voice unwavering and stern.

Solara blinked, questioning of it would indeed be just *that* easy. “That simple? I mean, I’m all for doing this, but can I officially do that? I’m not a citizen of this country, and I have previous commitments to Thea. Additionally, I don’t think I should be seeing legal documentation of another nation.”

They maintained eye contact, Mereo raising an eyebrow during the moment of silence that fell between them. “I don’t care what it says on paper, either you’re a Crimson Lion King in your heart or then you’re not. If you want to help, I’m giving you something that you can do. Besides, if you chose for some reason to betray this kingdom, you’d be personally accountable for *me*. And I would hunt you down to the ends of the Earth, and make you suffer before killing you.”

Solara’s expression became grave with the last sentence, as Mereo’s tone spoke of the seriousness of her statement. Once more silence fell between them, the seconds ticking away before her expression softened and she opened her mouth to reply. But a door opened and man emerged through the door.

“Good da-“ the man began before being interrupted by Mereo.

“Randal, round everybody up in five minutes. I need to give all your asses a beating. You got the memo, right?” Mereo crossed her arms, while raising an eyebrow at Randal, who blinked, having stopped in place with his hand still on the door handle.

“Yes, Captain,” he only stated before taking a step back to execute Mereo’s orders.

“Oh, one more thing,” she said, more factually than she had a habit of doing.

Randal stopped as if hit by a brick wall and gazed at Mereo. His eyes reflected a slight hint of terror, but quite honestly, Mereo’s stare alone could do away with lesser men.

“This is Solara. She’s a part of the squad now so get her a cape.” Mereo paused, turning her gaze to Solara. “Unless she’s unwilling.” The sentence came out as a statement, rather than a question, which only made Solara smirk.

“It’s a deal,” she spoke with a grin while looking Mereo straight in the eye, which lifted a smirk on her lips as well.

“You heard her, now get a move on. You have four minutes,” Mereo grinned while glancing at Randal. “Yes Sir!” He exclaimed before disappearing from sight.

Silence fell into the room, only the sound of distancing steps echoed from the walls, filling the air. “Knock yourself out,” Mereo smirked, her tone flowing from her much more gently than before. She gave Solara a smile and started making her way out, leaving Solara into the captain’s office with a pile of documents.

She looked at them with a sigh. Wonder where I should start? Her eyes started scanning through the room, landing onto a smaller filing cabinet that had been placed in the corner of the room, slightly out of sight. Ah, let’s see what’s in here. Her steps carried her towards the cabinet, the drawer opening with ease. Her fingers danced on the edges of the documents as she searched for the previous assessment reports. It looks like somebody likes to stay organized, she smiled as she found what she was looking for in no time.

Her eyes started reading through the file, her feet taking her to the large armchair without a second thought. She sat down, sinking in to the soft upholstery as the smell of mahogany seeped through the air, along with something else. A faint smell of… lavender? Something floral and yet it was faint, as if overwritten by another scent. A hair care product of some kind….? What are you doing? Focus. She shook her head as she tried to dispel the tantalising smell that caressed her senses, inviting her to press her head against the back of the chair.

And yet she closed her eyes and breathed it in, letting it fill her lungs only to flow out from her with a savouring hum. What did I just say? You need to focus and besides, why are you acting like this? She scolded herself, opening her eyes and leaning forward over the desk to start revising the files.

She sat in silence going back and forth between documents and scratching her head. This isn’t supposed to be that difficult. They look like standard issue forms, but some of these words are completely new to me. Though, what did I really expect? I haven’t had to converse with juridical terminology in this language really… ever, and now I’m supposed to be doing this. She sighed to herself. Maybe I bit up more than I can chew with this one. Her eyes turned to the ceiling as she grimaced and rubbed her temples, but sadly the answers she sought were not written on the walls or the ceiling, so she let her gaze wander for a moment as she tried to wrap her head around what she had just read. Her fingers gently tapped the wooden desk as another sigh left her and her eyes started circling around the room once more, landing onto the bookcase. I wonder… could there be a…? She thought before getting up and making her way to the shelf.

She scanned through the books, unable to keep herself from smiling when her eyes landed on a legal dictionary at the corner of the bookcase. I may not know who you are, but you and your systematisms have been my salvation. She giggled to herself as she picked up the book and started flipping through the pages while returning to her seat. Hmm…I see, suppose I could make notes for myself to have a quick reference page. Let’s see. Paper. Paper… Her eyes landed on the writing utensils carefully laid onto the right side of the desk. You’re right-handed I take it. Which could mean that you’d store empty papers and documents onto the left side of your desk and move them to the right for storing… She peeked onto a top drawer on the left side, and found empty sheets of paper as well as a few ready-made documents that could just be filled out.

Another gentle smile flashed across her complexion. Huh, I was right. And I have a few templates for making new documentation. A silent chuckle escaped her as she placed the empty sheet of paper onto the desk, and her eyes started once more dancing on the ink filled pages, adoring every intricate detail and line of the beautifully crafted script, written by a kind soul. Or one that she thought to be a gentle and caring soul, who put their heart and soul into their work. I just hope that he also makes time for himself…she thought before zoning in on her work.