#bc those are automatically small child appropriate

[uygfiug]

i always love to see queer irene <3333 i think thats partially bc we already know she crossdresses so it makes sense to play around with her sexuality & gender a bit?

yeah that was upsetting :( but its once again book accurate, and i love that <3

its also especially nice to see him taking off the disguise, i feel like when the disguise are included holmes just kinda appears in them, dazzles watson, captures the criminal, and then appears looking normal again, which dazzles watson again ofc

hi anna!!! :)))

i hope you are doing well and getting through exam season alright!!!

i wanted to let you know that i watched the first episode of granada holmes (a scandal in bohemia) and it was so fucking good i am obsessed. i was a little nervous to watch their adaptation since irene adler usually gets done so dirty but i was very pleasantly surprised at how they treated her!!!! she was an icon from the moment she came on screen with a gun <3333333

i also love the holmes and watson dynamic so far!!!! watson did a lot in the episode to help holmes and it was so fucking funny watching holmes give zero fucks about social normals and watson working overtime to make up for holmes, lmao

thanks again for the recommendation, friend :)))) i'd love to know if you have any particular thoughts/feelings/opinions about the episode?

hiya zip :)

im doing okay :) i hope you are too!

yayyyy!!!! this is the only version of irene in any adaptation i like :) (im sure theres at least one other really good one out there though) she IS an icon <333 i agree with the king on one thing, what a woman! did you notice her little gay moment? its around 19:30 when she checks out a dancing women whilst drinking with the king (booo)

yesss its really good!! the way holmes expresses caring via little things like buying watsons favourite cigars too <333 or making him stay for the case <333 and watson cares right back, yelling at holmes over his cocaine habit, which is something i love about the books, so seeing it in this series is so nice :)

i love holmes' disguises as well, he really does look like a completely different person and i love that that part of the books wasnt removed :) especially his clergyman disguise, he looks delightfully comical with the bandage around his head

i believe this episode was actually the third filmed? i know solitary cyclist was the first for sure, bc they wanted the first episode to be really good, so they made sure that they all had a bit of experience with this series first :)

[protectbrowngirls]

hello, i hope you're having a good day, sorry if this is too much but is there any resources or anything ah idk for people who's parents do kinda abusive things emotionally and physically but you're confused whether it is abusive bc of culture? im so sorry idk how to explain it

I'm terribly sorry for how long it has taken me to respond to this message. I didn't have any resources on hand that addressed this issue specifically, and it took me a while to round up a set of literature and resources that I felt might be useful. This got super super long, so I'm sorry in advance! I hope you find something in this wall of text helpful. I'm placing the rest of my response under a read more.

I definitely understand the confusion you mention. Eastern norms and Western norms differ vastly in many areas, and it can be difficult to disentangle whether something that seems abusive is truly abusive or simply an instance of clashing norms. This article from Bridging Refugee Youth & Children's Services (BRYCS) puts it really well, in my opinion:

Actions thought to be normal or appropriate in one culture may be interpreted as abuse or neglect by another culture. Some parenting actions are effective because a whole society holds similar underlying assumptions. When an individual tries to transport those actions and assumptions to another culture, the results can be disastrous.

A good place to start may be the Convention on the Rights of the Child, which defines, in broad strokes, the rights and freedoms that all children ought to have and has been ratified by 196 countries. This establishes a culture-neutral foundation for what standards parents, educators, etc should meet. If your parents regularly violate any of your rights laid out in the CRC, those behaviors are recognized as unacceptable by nearly ever country and culture across the globe.

This publication from WHO offers definitions for child abuse and includes discussions on how cultural norms can influence what types of behavior that culture deems abusive. India is one of the countries discussed.

Regarding brown culture specifically, this UNICEF study details parenting approaches, including prevalence of abuse, in various regions of India. A summary and analysis of the study is provided in this article.

I also found this study, where 29 South Asian-Canadian parents were surveyed regarding their attitudes toward various parenting practices. In general, the parents' judgment of (in)appropriate parenting approaches didn't differ widely from other populations, suggesting that perceptions of neglect and abuse are culturally independent. Though it's a small sample, the paper has some great discussion worth reading.

Here is a selection of blog posts that I found topical and interesting:

https://www.nakedtruth.in/2019/04/29/the-vicious-cycle-of-parental-abuse-in-indian-families/

https://thetempest.co/2017/01/10/culture-taste/i-called-out-my-parents-on-their-affectionate-abuse/

https://thetempest.co/2017/09/18/culture-taste/desi-culture-serious-problems-and-heres-proof/

I would also recommend the subreddit r/ABCDesis; this topic has been discussed numerous times there:

https://libredd.it/kqmnt6/

https://www.reddit.com/r/ABCDesis/comments/kjmzi7/can_we_please_stop_normalizing_abusive_behavior/

https://www.reddit.com/r/ABCDesis/comments/6e6ym5/is_emotional_abuse_a_way_of_life_for_desi_parents/

In addition to all of that literature, here are some support systems that may be able to help you navigate this confusion:

The aforementioned r/ABCDesis

DeQH (if you're queer), a peer-run helpline for LGBTQ+ South Asians

The Facebook group the little brown diary

I want to conclude by noting that if a behavior is normalized within a culture or entrenched within its cultural norms, this doesn't automatically preclude that behavior from being abusive. Quite possibly--and quite commonly--this simply means that the culture in question normalizes abusive behavior. Brown parents make liberal use of slapping as a punishment, but slapping is still an abusive action. The same goes for forbidding self-expression, forbidding children from having opinions or beliefs or ambitions that differ from their parents', denying children age-appropriate privacy, etc. If you are questioning whether your parents' actions are abusive or cultural, it's entirely possible the answer is "they're both."