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hermannsthumb · 3 years ago

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Okay but what about Hermann is just horny 24/7, but he's repressing his feelings. And Newt who sees it and maybe is enjoying a bit. And one day Newt just pins Hermann to a lab wall, ties his arms with a belt or sleeves of his shirt and teases Hermann until he melts in his hands. And Newt murmurs to Hermann something like "sweetheart, you could have just said.." This thought makes me DEAD

a fic! somewhat obviously rated 18+/not for kids' eyes!!!!! so all hidden below the cut, lmfao. dedicated to people on side twitter bc boy do I love some light d/s + nerm

It’s not like Newt’s never looked at Hermann before. Look-looked, in like, a sexy, considering way. It gets lonely in the lab with just the two of them, after all, and usually Hermann is the only face Newt will see for hours, days, one memorable occasion when they were super-swamped with work, a week. His face is the only one that comes to mind when Newt wants to have sexy thoughts for that reason—it’s just, like, easier and takes less imagination to masturbate to the thought of the guy you see every day than anyone else. And Hermann is kind of hot, Newt guesses, in a weird, repressed nerd kind of way. He thinks it has something to do with not knowing what Hermann's bothering to repress so bad. Maybe he's got a hot bod under all those layers or sucks dick like a porn star or something. Or he's hiding how horny he is all the time and would love nothing more than to cut loose for once. (Newt would be happy to take one for the team!) It's gotta be that, because Newt can't imagine why else the thought of Hermann—scowling and hunching over a chalkboard in one of his god-awful tweed blazers—gets him so goddamn riled up every time he sticks his hand down his pants.

Whatever the appeal is, Newt's masturbatory fantasies tend to tilt towards very particular (and well-loved) scenarios: Hermann finally gets fed up with Newt’s obnoxious behavior and shoves him against a wall to teach him a lesson, or Hermann holds Newt down on a bed or the lab couch or the floor and has his way with him to teach him a lesson, or Hermann grips Newt’s shoulders and uses his mouth in any way he sees fit to teach him a lesson. Newt's real into the idea of Hermann being in control. Or, in other words, Hermann doing the doing, Newt doing the taking. Not that Newt is adverse to topping. He'd be down for it if Hermann was. (And not that Newt spends a lot of time considering what Hermann is down for, and whether or not letting Newt top him is on that list, but yeah, Newt does kind of hope it would be.)

He's just...always assumed Hermann would want things that way. Newt's kind of assumed that he would want them that way, too.

All of his preconceived sexy notions about Hermann come crashing down around him one completely ordinary day in the lab.

It happens in a flash, too. A couple of seconds max. Hermann is over in Newt's space (he flagrantly disobeys the tape line more than Newt does, no matter what he may claim), shouting at him about something dumb and waving his cane around for dramatic effect. Only he's not looking where he's waving it, and the end of it comes into contact with a vial of some somewhat lethal weird kaiju gland extract that Newt's been planning on experimenting with this week, and the whole thing fuckin' shatters. "Shit!" Newt says, at the same time Hermann says "Bugger," and, before Newt knows it, Hermann's reaching out to save a pile of Newt's lab notes from certain kaiju gland death.

Which is royally stupid of him. That stuff is already eating through Newt's wooden work bench like it's nothing—God knows what it'd do to Hermann's skin. Newt's messy notes are not worth it.

"Dude, no," Newt exclaims, and grabs Hermann's wrist to stop him.

And Hermann...moans.

They stare at each other. The kaiju gland extract drips to the metal floor, where it sizzles harmlessly.

Hermann pulls his arm away.

"Clean this up," he snaps. He turns heel and storms out, giving Newt a spectacular view of the fiery red flush spreading down the back of his neck.

Huh, Newt thinks. That's something new.

-----

"I'm not some sort of sexual deviant," Hermann assures him. "I have. Er. Entirely respectable—tastes. Typically."

"Uh-huh," Newt says.

"Only this is quite out of character for me," Hermann says.

Newt pulls his tie taut around Hermann's wrists to watch Hermann squirm and grins, just a little, before knotting it loosely. "No offense, Hermann," he says, "but bondage isn't exactly hardcore. Besides, it's fine if you like out-there kinda stuff. No judgement."

“But I don’t,” Hermann says.

“I’m not saying you do,” Newt says, “I’m saying—”

“And this isn’t bondage.” Hermann sniffs. “Bondage sounds—”

"Look, dude, do I need to gag you?" Newt jokes.

Except Hermann maybe doesn't get the joke: his eyes widen, and mouth hangs open. Not exactly the shouty, loud response and demand for respect Newt was expecting. Also something new. Newt's learning a lot of very, very unexpected things about Hermann, and part of him wishes he had a notebook or his tape recorder on hand to take inventory of all of it. Subject A (Hermann Gottlieb) likes having his wrists pinned and his big dumb mouth shut up. Conclusion: ? "I—I beg your pardon?" Hermann says.

Today marks a week after the kaiju gland incident. A week of furtive glances across the tape line, Hermann's badly-hidden blushes, and Newt reevaluating every single goddamn thing he's ever thought or assumed about the guy (and himself, to be honest), and Newt was finally the one to snap. In Newt's defense, it wasn't totally out of the blue. At lunch time an uncharacteristically quiet and bashful Hermann slid a cup of coffee onto Newt's desk, mumbling something about how Newt really needed to get more sleep, and Newt just...

Hermann didn't moan when Newt grabbed his wrists that time; his tongue darted out over his lips, and he looked at Newt through the dark eyelashes of his half-mast eyelids. "Please," he had said.

Newt gets why Hermann was being so weird and cagey about it, he really does. It’s hard to admit to yourself you want something kinda embarrassing, and Newt knows it’s just as embarrassing for Hermann to like him as it is for Newt to like Hermann. Newt’s weird, and small, and probably smells bad, and Hermann’s weird, and smells bad (cigarette smoke and moth-eaten sweaters, but Newt jerks off to it anyway, huh, doesn't he), and is slightly not as small. But holy shit, if he didn’t melt into a puddle when Hermann breathed that out all desperately, like it took all he had.

“Do you want me to gag you?” Newt says.

He’s using the skinny tie Hermann claims to hate so much on his wrists, or he might’ve seriously balled up the fabric and shoved it into Hermann’s mouth. There’s not much else in the way of gags readily on hand in the lab, no fabric scraps or anything like that. Maybe they’ll try it later. He kisses Hermann instead, slipping his tongue past those open lips, and Hermann parts them wider with a throaty groan. "Ah, Newton—"

Newt didn’t really expect their first kiss to go like this. He didn’t expect their first kiss to, like, happen in the first place, but it’s especially weird that it’s happening while Hermann is bound up and pressed up against his chalkboard. Newt's been keeping an eye on Hermann's leg, careful of any sign that it's going to give out and that they should move this to the couch, but Newt's knee between both of Hermann's seems to be all the support he needs. “I’m here, dude,” he says, and slips down to press a gentle kiss to Hermann’s jaw instead, then his neck. Hermann tilts his head back with another groan; he flexes against his restraints.

Is Newt the first person Hermann's ever done this with? Or trusted enough to tell he wants to do this?

The possibility kinda just makes this all hotter to Newt. He drags the tips of his fingers up Hermann's chest, feeling his heart pound through the thick layers of his button-down and sweatervest, and drags them back down. He stops just at Hermann's bound wrists. Hermann groans softly. "Do you want me to touch you more?" Newt says.

"Please," Hermann says, "ah, please, Newton—"

Newt does, smiling as he curls up on the toes of his boots and presses another kiss to Hermann's mouth. His right hand, he uses to ruck up Hermann's sweatervest and dig under his shirt; his left hand, he curls the fingers of in Hermann's skinny tie bindings to tug sharply. Hermann's chest is bony and warm beneath his palm. His heart is beating faster, and faster. "Please," Hermann begs again, and this time when Newt kisses him, he sags against Newt helplessly.

"Hermann," Newt murmurs. Hermann's breath is fogging up his glasses and making it difficult for him to see. Which is a goddamn shame, because Newt wants to, like, memorize the image of a flushed and panting and begging Hermann, tattoo it to his skin forever as a reminder of today, a whole big splash of color on his back where he was planning on putting another kaiju. Yeah, Newt takes back what he said earlier, Hermann isn't just kinda hot—he's very hot. He drags his tongue over Hermann's pulse point, and says, just as gently, "Hermann, you could've just said."

Newt would've done anything for Hermann when he grabbed Hermann's wrists and Hermann breathed out a simple please, and Newt would do anything for Hermann now. Newt would get every single tattoo removed if it meant making Hermann happy. He bites down on the sweaty, pale skin of Hermann's neck, unable to hold back a moan of his own when Hermann's whole body writhes with it, and shoves his hand down Hermann's oversized slacks.

"I want you to come," Newt mumbles, rubbing at him furiously, "I want you to come, I wanna make you come, I wanna—"

Hermann muffles his cry in Newt's shoulder when he does. Newt waits until he's stopped shaking to untie his wrists carefully, and isn't surprised when Hermann immediately grabs Newt's shoulders to steady himself. (Hermann thighs are still trembling from the awesome orgasm Newt gave him. It's pretty hot. But also, Newt should probably grab his cane for him.) "You—you've made a terrific mess of me," Hermann sniffs, vaguely annoyed, like he's reprimanding Newt for knocking a piece of kaiju intestine on the floor again.

Newt decides not to mention to Hermann that he kinda soaked the knee of Newt's jeans, too. He can do laundry later. "Sorry, man," Newt says, but Hermann gives another, happier sniff when Newt kisses his cheek. "I'll take care of it."

#newmann #maria's fanfiction tag

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adorethedistance · 4 years ago

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A Pretty Good Bad Idea - Owen Joyner x Reader

JATP masterlist

Warnings: swearing, peer pressure kinda, very mild n fluffy

Words: 1865

Summary: Touring with the Julie and The Phantoms cast as a dancer has been the best time of your life, and the only thing that could make it better is the reciprocated affections of a cute, blond drummer.

A/N: So this piece is 1) inspired by this interview and 2) entirely self indulgent. It’s something I haven’t been able to get out of my mind every time I’m doing warm ups, and putting it down on ,, digital paper is my only way to get rid of it lmao. I hope y��all enjoy bc I know this scenario makes me really happy and I love sharing my joy with y’all.

I let out an involuntary whine when I roll forward into my almost-center splits. My hips are so sore from yesterday’s performance I had to force myself to start stretching in the first place. Getting a head start, I arrived at the concert venue an hour earlier than call time to get my lengthy stretching routine out of the way before the other girls show up. Slowly but surely, the rest of the dancers arrived and we began getting ready together.

“I have a speaker!” Tori announces to the room upon entering which makes me jump up from my seat.

“Yes! May I do the honors and bless y’all with my musical theatre playlist?” The rest of the group cheers, exposing themselves for the theatre kids that we are. After hearing the chime that signifies the speaker-phone pairing, a few seconds pass before “Cell Block Tango” begins to play. The entire group feigns outrage but we know all the words and soon indulge in such shameful pandering. A good pre-show playlist is what really gets me amped up for performing and after yesterday’s queue of ‘today’s hits’ pop, the musical theatre is a nice change of pace.

Since I’d gotten here so early, I decided to do my makeup before stretching and I still had time to spare. The only thing left for me to do was to get in costume but I’d wait until a little closer to showtime so that I could still eat and drink for the time being. This also meant I was free to roam and bother other people as they got ready, doing what I’d done almost an hour ago.

“So, Y/n?”

“Hm?”

“What’s going on with you and Owen?” I feel my breathing halt for a microsecond before looking up at, one of the other dancers and also my friend, Ella. My eyebrows are cinched in confusion as I try my best to figure out what it is she’s getting at.

“I don’t know, Ella. What is going on with me and Owen?”

“Oh come on. Your Instagram story from yesterday?” Oh. That.

“We just went to lunch?” I seemingly ask more than state.

“Yeah. Just the two of you. Don’t hold out on us, we wanna know what’s going on!”

“Really, Ella, there’s nothing going on. We’re just getting to know each other better.”

“Just getting to know each other better? Or getting to know each other better?” Tori butts in, dusting her cheeks with a subtle highlight.

“The first one?”

“How many times have you hung out?”

“Just the once.”

“Are you planning another date?”

“It wasn’t a date-”

“Do you want us to help wingman you?”

“I really don’t-”

“Hey.” The rapid-fire of questions cease when the gang of us look up to see Owen himself standing in the doorway.

“Speak of the devil,” Tori snickers as the rest of the girls slowly disperse and smugly resume doing their makeup. Owen makes a face in reaction to her comment but chooses not to pry.

“Could I borrow some hairspray? This one piece of hair won’t stay.” Despite each of the girls having a full can of hairspray on hand, nobody makes a move to give him the product, indicating that I should be the one to help him out. Rolling my eyes at the look Ella is giving me through the mirror, I stand from my chair and hand Owen the can of hairspray. He then looks straight ahead and moves to use the product but I stop him before he can.

“What’s your plan?”

“What?”

“Are you just gonna spray the piece?”

“...yeah?”

“That’s not gonna work since the rest of your hair already has product in it. Can I help you?” Owen nods amiably and takes a seat after I gesture for him to sit in my chair. I then realize my mistake as I need the comb on the grey countertop, and have to consequently reach past Owen in a way that wouldn’t be so compromising had I not worn such a low-cut top. Thankfully it’s over as fast as it began, and walking to the sink in the corner of the dressing room, I run the cool water over the bristles. It isn’t until I turn off the tap that I notice how eerily quiet the room had gotten. None of the girls are talking, attentively studying my every move as I cross back to Owen.

“Is this Chicago?”

“Uh, yeah, We’re listening to my musical theatre playlist though, not the whole soundtrack,” I respond in spite of the nervous laugh that falls from my lips. The slight slouch in Owen’s posture doesn’t help me to see what I’m doing clearly enough. Using my index finger and an upturned palm, I tilt his chin up to get a better look at his hair, willfully ignoring the fact that he’s staring at me right now.

Still, silence fills the room as I take the wet comb through the front section of his hair where the stubborn strand won’t stay put. Once the water binds the pieces together, I grab my can of hairspray and struggle to uncap it. The outside is slick from god knows what, but thankfully Owen doesn’t let me struggle anymore and holds up his hands to wordlessly offer his help. I hand him the can, and he pops the top off after barely struggling. Handing the can back to me, he holds onto the lid, and the entire exchange remains completely silent.

I have to work quickly in my next step, but it’s not enough to distract from the fact that everyone in the room is watching me intently. Holding the aerosol can away from the crowd of people, I put some of the product on the comb and quickly work it into Owen’s hair while it’s still wet. Once the comb has formed his hair to my liking, I stop brushing it through in fear of the now dry hairspray ruining the shape. Then, I use my left hand to shield Owen’s eyes from getting any product in them before spraying the offending area to seal in my hard work.

The sound of a cell door sliding closed signifies the end of the song, and I wait for a second, eagerly anticipating the next song to play. Upon hearing the staccato piano notes of “Bad Idea” from Waitress, a smile appears on my face.

“I love this song.” Lunging back on my right leg, I create a little distance between us to make sure I didn’t completely butcher the rest of his hair, singing as I do.

“It’s a bad idea, me and you.”

“I know, I totally agree.” Pleasantly surprised by his joining in, my smile grows bigger.

“It’s a bad idea, me and you.”

“I’ve never known anything so true-”

“It’s a terrible idea, me and you.” The effortlessness that the two of us find in harmonizing is a genuine shock and an absolute thrill all at once. Once Owen sees how excited I am by his joining in me, it’s like a switch had been flipped; the two of us immediately slip into Actor Mode and begin to sing the song as if we were performing it on a Broadway stage.

“You have a wife.” I take a small step back out of the character’s hesitation.

“You have a husband.” Owen mirrors my action.

“You’re my doctor-” I cross my arms across my chest, but release my right hand to gesture to Owen standing in front of me.

“You’ve got a baby coming-” He uses both hands to gesture back to me in my ‘pregnant’ state.

“It’s a bad idea, me and you,” the two of us turn slightly away from facing one another in false bashfulness. When the music picks up, the two of us avidly step toward one another to come together. In perfect synchronization, I grab Owen’s forearms and his hands face upwards to hold onto my elbows.

“Let’s just keep kissing ‘til we come to.”

“Heart, stop racing, let’s face it-” Owen pivots his step out to the side to face forward, extending his right arm which cues me to turn into him and take his other hand to spin out.

“Making mistakes like this will make worse what is already pretty bad.” Then he extends his right arm forward, and I turn into him once again.

“Mind, stop running. It’s time we just let this thing go.” Instead of spinning out again, I stop in front of him where he wraps both of his arms around me.

“It was a pretty good bad idea,” in our harmony I cast my gaze upward to see Owen staring right back down at me, and I feel like I’m seeing stars, “Wasn’t it though?”

The two of us continue dancing and singing with one another as if the rest of the world doesn’t exist. It’s only the two of us, here and now. The other girls in the room don’t miss the way I seem to smile like never before, and I sure as hell don’t miss the way my stomach fills with butterflies. When he holds me so close and dear for each intimate moment of the song, I’m seeing stars. A bold happiness consumes me, the same happiness I felt when Owen and I laughed over lunch in that small pizzeria.

The final harmony draws the song to a close and when it finishes, the two of us fall into a breathless kind of laughter.

“I didn’t take a big enough breath for that last part.”

“Me neither.”

“Your hair stayed intact.”

“I must have a pretty good stylist.”

After recovering from our laughter the two of us wind up in a palpable stupor as we stare into one another’s eyes. A few blinks and my trance is broken, I become aware of our surroundings.

“I should get dressed soon, and you definitely need to get dressed.” Owen nods still somewhat breathless.

“Yeah. See you later for pulse?”

“Save me a spot,” I joke as he backs out of the threshold of our dressing room. Leaning against the doorframe I watch him disappear into his assigned dressing room with a small smile still lingering on my features.

“Just getting to know each other my ass!”

“What the heck was that?”

“Are you sure you don’t want us to wingman you?”

“Do you even need a wingman after something like that?”

Turning on my heel, I face the bunch of insatiable dancers and shake my head in disbelief.

“We were just acting, you guys.”

“Liar.”

“Excuse me?”

“Maybe you were acting, but he sure as hell wasn’t. Did you see the way he was looking at you? He is totally in love with you.” Ella shakes me by my shoulders.

“He’s just a really good performer is all.”

“When is your next date?” she completely ignores me.

“Okay-”

“Oh, and I want to be the maid of honor at your wedding-”

“It was just a song, Ella.”

“-Oh my god you guys are gonna have the cutest kids! I mean, your hair with his eyes and cheekbones? Ahh! The cutest.”

***

A/n: the way that being on tour isn’t the most unrealistic part of this fic, but instead Owen actually knowing the lyrics is? Work diva.

Taglist: @caitsymichelle13 @kaitlyn2907 @itz-jas @crybabyddl @kcd15 @kinda-really-lost @calamitykaty @morganayenneferburnham @n0wornever @dream-a-little-bigger-x @mrstodorooki @vicesvsvirturesfanfic @curlybrownhairedboys @amazinggracy @kaitieskidmore1 @asdfghjkl-fanfics @ghostlygreenbean @juliefromaustralia @merceret @jemimah-b99 @ifilwtmfc @thesweetestsinner @imsydneywalker @lovesanimals @thebloodthirstyvampress @bumbleberry-pie @losers-club6 @tefilovesreading @dmcfarland1@joynerxmercer @kexrtiz @talk-on-the-street @phantompogues @konciousdreamer @sunsetcurvej @warmnesss0ul @celestialmolina @lilyjoyner

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fantastic-bby · 4 years ago

Text

Maive

Pairing: (F)Reader x Chan

Word count: 2.7k

Genre: Fluff || Guardian angel!Chan

Summary: As your guardian angel, Chan’s supposed to protect you. Rather than hiding himself, he becomes your best friend instead of simply hovering around you secretly. Only when years pass does he realise that maybe you’re more important to him than he thought you were.

Warnings: Demons bcs there’s fallen angels

A/n: Hi sorry I’m posting the start of the angel series so late but like heyyyy here it is uwu. Happy October, everyone!

Masterlist || Minho - Kira || Changbin - Skye || Hyunjin - Nova|| Jisung - Blair || Felix - Lia || Seungmin - Raisha || Jeongin - Avia

It’s a simple task; one that Chan is so used to. He just has to watch over a human and keep them safe. His human just happens to be you. Chan uses one of his typical approaches which is hiding his wings and becoming your best friend. He remembers the first day he popped into your life; it was the middle of the school year. You were 16—the age where humans are unknowingly assigned their guardian angels.

Chan did the approach of sitting beside you. Knowing well how to interact with humans, the angel was quick to become your friend. Chan made it a point to hang out with you everyday and was soon acquainted with you and your best friend, Lia. It took a year later before another person was added to your friend group. The fourth addition being a guy from Lia’s class—Chan knows him as Lia’s guardian angel.

“Felix! Stop!” Lia squeals as he picks her up bridal style and runs straight into the swimming pool. You and Chan laugh as you watch from the side of the pool, legs swishing around in the water. Lia and Felix had seemed to form a different kind of bond compared to you and Chan, but it didn’t change your friendship even after you all moved into college. Felix and Lia ended up in a different college from you and Chan.

You’re still amazed that the both of you had gotten accepted to the same university which meant that you could both just move in together since you’ve known each other for so long. You certainly weren’t expecting having to accompany Chan jogging every morning.

“Come on, (Y/n), it’s just a little more,” he chuckles when he sees you struggling to keep up.

“Easy for you to say,” you pant, “you have muscles the size of my face.” He lets out a laugh.

“Would you feel better if I carried you back to our apartment?” Chan suggests. You look at him and nod, outstretching your arms and making grabby hands at him. He never declines whenever you ask him to carry him around. Honestly, Chan knows that even if he really was a human, he would still be best friends with you. You’re one of the few humans that he actually enjoys protecting.

You make it easy to be around and you’re fun. The time Chan’s spent with you is nothing compared to his many centuries of being alive, but he finds himself enjoying your company more so than any other human.

“Look at those stars,” you point towards the sky, bringing Chan’s attention to the stars that scatter the night sky.

“What about them?” he hums questioningly.

“Those constellations tell stories of Greek mythology,” you turn to him and he nods. “Do you think they’re real?” Chan can’t help the smile that breaks on his face. He finds you so unbelievably adorable that he can’t stop himself from feeling all giddy and happy around you. “What?” you ask when you just see him smiling at you.

“I mean,” Chan looks up to stars that scatter the night sky, “myths have to come from somewhere, right?” He turns back to see you looking at him with a pleased smile. He likes your smile a lot, but he’s a guardian angel—your guardian angel to be exact. Guardian angels aren’t supposed to fall in love with their humans. The ones that end up pursuing their humans get their wings ripped off.

Chan doesn’t think much of it. He pushes aside whatever feelings he has, blaming it on the connection he’s allowed himself to build with you. No matter what happens, Chan is supposed to protect you until your time comes; nothing else. That’s why when he comes across a fallen angel trying to stray you away, Chan’s mind goes into panic. How is he supposed to sneak out and fight the fallen without you being suspicious of his sudden disappearances.

“I met someone,” you announce shyly as you step out of your bedroom. Chan looks up from the cereal he’s eating to give you a questioning look. “His name’s Minho.” The angel stops moving completely at the mention of your new friend. Minho. Minho. Minho. He knows that name too well; the name of the fallen angel who almost pulled Chan down with him.

“Is it that dance major from the dance club?” Chan doesn’t want to show that he’s bothered, but how is he supposed to keep you away from a fallen if he’s already got you falling. You nod, lifting your phone to show your best friend Minho’s Instagram page.

“He seems nice,” you hum as you watch him scroll through Minho’s posts.

“I get a bad vibe off of him,” he mutters out as he hands your phone back to him. You give Chan a weird look. “I don’t know, (Y/n). I don’t think he’ll treat you right.” Your expression doesn’t change.

“It’s not like it’s anything serious... yet…” you trail off. You find Minho really cute. He had somehow managed to win your heart just by working at the coffee shop you usually go to before your morning classes.

“Yet,” Chan points out. You roll your eyes as you take your phone away from his hands, scrolling through Minho’s Instagram on your own.

“He can’t be that bad,” you stubbornly mutter as you stop to look at a picture of Minho and his cats. “See? A cat man! Cat owners aren’t bad,” you show your best friend the picture like it’s evidence.

“(Y/n), just because he has cats doesn’t mean he’ll be a good partner,” Chan claims. You turn to him and scowl, bringing your phone away from him.

“You don’t know that,” you grumble.

“You don’t know that either,” he pushes himself off of the counter. “(Y/n), please think about this. You can’t just go around flaunting your heart around for people to just play around with. You’re smarter than that, and you deserve more than what half of these dumbasses have to offer. Please, trust me this once—I just don’t think this guy will treat you right.” Chan’s eyes are pleading. He honestly wants to tell you the real real reason he doesn’t like Minho, but how are you supposed to believe that Chan comes from a world of angels and gods?

“I’ll try to stay away from him.” Your words cause relief to wash throughout his body. “But he’s very charming and I can’t make any promises.” Your followup only makes Chan chuckle.

“I can see why he’s charming. At least try and stay away from him. I get really bad vibes.” You nod with a small smile. Chan really does a huge influence on the decisions you make. But his influence just isn’t enough to get you to fight off Minho’s magic.

Chan can tell something’s off while he’s sitting in his bedroom, shirt off with the door locked. His wings move around behind him. He can feel a shiver running down his spine when he feels the vibe in the apartment shift. The moment Chan hears it, he’s dashing out of his bedroom and slamming into yours. Not only had he woken you up, but he had caught Minho off guard, sending the fallen angel out of the air and to the ground out of shock.

“Get out,” Chan growls. Minho hisses at him before turning back to you, your face holding pure horror as you look between your best friend and the fallen angel.

“C-Chan?” you stutter, torn between staying in bed or running into the arms of your best friend who has wings. A pair of big, white wings are hanging from his back as he stands at your doorway, staring straight at the man that asked you out for dinner a few days before.

“Do anything to her and I’ll bash your head in so hard that even Satan wouldn’t recognise you.” Chan’s tone is the scariest you’ve ever heard and you’re not sure whether you’re more scared of the intruder or him.

“C-Chan.” Your voice has resorted to a whimper out of fear. Even through the whole situation, your instincts still reach out to Chan for comfort.

“I’m here, (Y/n),” he soothes as he carefully makes his way over to the side of your bed, all the while keeping his eyes on Minho. Once beside you, Chan grabs onto your arm and pulls you behind him, guarding you from the fallen angel.

“You can’t protect her forever, Chan,” Minho snorts. “Humans are fragile beings. I don’t get why the angels just can’t let us feed off of them. What’s the point of protecting them?” The fallen angel chuckles darkly as he rounds your bed, stepping closer to your guardian. “May I remind you of Kira? How fragile she was to just slip past your fingers so easily,” Minho giggles gleefully at the memory.

“Kira’s a lost cause,” Chan mutters, his grip around your hand tightening. “Get out or I’ll banish you instead.” The threat makes Minho’s face contort in annoyance before his form disappears completely. You’re still shaken when Chan turns around, his hands moving to cup your face gently. “Are you okay? He didn’t get to you did he?” His brown eyes flick across your skin to make sure you’re okay, but you don’t answer because your eyes are glued to his wings.

“W-Why do you have wings?” you question softly as your eyes meet his.

Chan lets out a frustrated sigh as he shuts his eyes tight. He’s only then realising the weight of what he’s done. “I can explain, but I don’t think you’d be able to understand. You’re quite shaken up.”

“Of course I’m fucking shaken up,” you scoff, “the guy who asked me out to dinner appeared in my bedroom and you have wings. What a totally normal Friday night.” You roll your eyes as you sit on your bed. “So, what? Are you just not going to explain that?” you gesture to his wings.

“Well, I’m your guardian angel,” he simply claims. You blink a couple times before sighing and sitting at the edge of your bed, hanging your head.

“There’s no way I can’t believe that since you already have the damn wings.” You look up and watch as Chan takes a seat on your bed beside you.

“I was assigned to protect you when you turned sixteen. I chose to show myself and protect you because you were sleeping a lot during class and I didn’t want you to fail,” he sheepishly confesses. “I decided to just stick around since you were pretty fun to talk to. It’s been awhile since I’ve actually connected with a human like this.” Chan turns to you with a small smile. “But now that I’ve revealed myself, I’ll just leave so you can calm down.” The angel stands up, his eyes reassuring you softly before he heads to leave your room

“Chan,” you stop him. He turns around and gives you a questioning look. You don’t want him to leave. The fear that runs through your veins yearns for the comfort of your best friend. “A-Are you going to disappear, too?” Chan’s features soften. “I don’t want you to leave.”

“No, no, (Y/n),” he quickly moves back to sit beside you. “I meant that I was just going to head to my room to give you time alone to process it all.”

“Minho’s not just gonna pop up out of nowhere again, right?” Your eyes are scared and that much Chan can tell without having to look into your thoughts.

“I’ll keep him away from you if he ever tries to come back,” he gives you his signature smile, “I promise I’ll keep you safe, (Y/n).” You know he’ll keep you safe. You’ve already concluded in your mind that he’s the only person that makes you feel as safe as you do.

“Can you stay here with me?” Your request is simple and Chan understands why you’d be scared. It’s not exactly an everyday thing when your best friend has wings and someone from your college appears in your bedroom in the middle of the night. You climb into bed with Chan, his wings protectively caging around you while his arms hold you close to him. His embrace is as warm as it usually is, but the added warmth from his wings wrapping around you just makes his hold more comforting.

“Just stick with me and I’ll keep you safe,” he hums softly as his hand runs up and down your back soothingly.

“What did Minho mean when he said humans are fragile?” you question as you look up at him. For a moment, Chan doesn’t speak. He stays silent and you know that he’s debating whether or not he should tell you about it.

“About...2 humans before you, I was protecting a girl,” Chan starts. “Her name was Kira. Like every human, they’re assigned an angel when they turn sixteen. She was one of the first few times I chose to show myself. The only reason I did was because I was still learning the ropes of being a guardian angel and one of the few ways I hadn’t tried yet was showing myself without giving away my identity.” He pauses for a moment, his hand still running up and down your back calmly. “But Minho showed up that time. He got into Kira’s mind and took her away from me. He corrupted her and now she works in the Underworld because of him.” Chan’s hand stops moving, his hands balling into fists before he calms himself down. “She was the first human I ever lost to a fallen angel.” There’s many things he doesn’t tell you about her.

The first being that Kira was the first human he had fallen in love with on duty. He would never tell you how happy she made him even when he was hiding his feelings from the higher ups. Chan thought about dating her secretly. It was when Minho came around that he realised he was in bigger shit than he thought. The fact that he had not only thought about courting a human, but he had lost one to a fallen angel.

The second thing he would never tell you is that you make him feel the same exact way Kira did. He sees only purity inside of you, bringing your smiles to light and your laughter to life. Chan doesn’t know when he did, but he’s fallen in love with you. As he lays in your bed with you in his arms, Chan can’t help but wonder just when did he fall for you.

“Chan, your mistakes can’t be repeated,” the deity advises. “We’ll let it pass on one condition.” Chan looks up at the omnipotent being. “If (Y/n) is good enough, we’ll make her an angel. Because Lia is good, we’ve made an agreement with Felix. He has to make sure she’s good enough to become an angel only then can he romantically pursue her. Felix has been an exceptional guardian, which is why we’re granting him this one opportunity. You, on the other hand, not only have you lost a human to a fallen, but you had secretly pursued her.”

“I-I tried to fix that,” Chan stutters as the memory replays in his head. “I was so close to saving her.”

“Yet you failed,” the deity cuts him off. “This is the same fallen angel as then. Prove that you’re fit to protect (Y/n) and only then will we have a discussion on your romantic interests.” Chan returns to his bedroom with trembling hands. He can’t lose another human—not to Minho again. Chan makes it a point to stick around you. Being a guardian angel, he just manipulates the world around the both of you to make it easier for him to keep an eye on you at all times.

“Is it necessary for you to change your major for me?” you ask softly. To say that Chan’s announcement of him changing a whole major just to be with you is a shock is an understatement.

“I can’t let Minho get to you,” he gives you a reassuring smile. “Either way, I’m an angel. I won’t be affected by any of these decisions. I just do what I can do to protect you.” You purse your lips into a straight line as you take it into thought. Chan could honestly just do whatever he wanted with his magic, he just wants you to be his. By being your guardian, he’ll make you an angel; an angel that he can finally love.

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misterbitches · 4 years ago

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I ship muren and li cheng bc i only saw it through gifs then i watched this episode cos i was like im only starting this show if they kiss im waiting and they did and it was nice and i got so anxious that i was about to fucking vomit. I really like them together. The top/bottom shit is dumb and i hope if they must mention it they all build a bridge and get over it so they can switch cos who gives a shit. I didnt realize how large they all are like most “tall” men on tv are lying. But bc that kid is so thin and tall and the other one (idk the stepbrother) is huge too. Li cheng is shorter than them both but more ~manly~ but still short so why doesnt he take a DICK UP HIS BUTT XD since that’s all that fucking matters and there’s only 2 genders and 2 eays to have sex lmao so nothing else otherwise ur screwed

Hd a terrible past couple of weeks personally and because i keep seeing my peopl eget murdered and things ripped from us ^_____^ anyway here’s Some libertatrian communist dumb bitch discoars so i’ll tag it:

keep in mind these are my opinions’”” when i engage in discourse. I am not the end all be all and I don’t need you to agree. There’s some shit I am non-negotiable on but thsi is just exchanging of information. Any authoratative tone I take on comes from my beliefs, my life, my experiences, and what I choose to cultivate as a person and an artist. I dont have control over your feelings, you do. If it hurts you then either tell me the issue and be PRECISE about it, understand that context matters which is why i type so much in engagement, and do not fucking lie or misconstrue my words. Do not call me western ever in your life either. I am a black-american. I have adhd and bc i am a black woman if ur automatically thinking im brolic i am accepting money in my paypal for ur wellbeing to get me to shut the fuck up.Thanks.

The stepbrothers storyline is stupid and lazy writing. I really want to counter people that say it’s written well and that it’s interesting because it isn’t. Even if it was illicit and fucked we can write a story out about this. Let’s rethink what they could have done shall we:

- become stepbrothers at about 16 and their parents mismanage the relationship and they fail in trying to get an integrated family together (this is what happened in the #iconic transit girls and that was fuckin’ weird but hey dude guess what we watched it and it was weird but not unethical and we know one is like 19 and the other is 21 and a girl so it’s like wow you avoided so much and handled their stepsister story very…….um lightly given the end lmao but it was there and people had AGENCY)

-OR you realize that freak is obsessed with him and then he realizes it and is like “bitch i swear to god” and in typical shtity trope BL fashion they can find a way from obsession, to loss and independence when you lose your obsession, to “love” if they choose

- have the fucked up shit but make it clear what the issues are and you literally cannot write your way out of it so do not try

But why can’t fucked up things be shown? Also this is realistic.

0. Well according to you but no one said that they can’t. So that’s on your interpretation of critique (that is, again, not bullying or harassment.) They can, i just gave plenty of scenarios in which it is affective and not just annoying to witness, trope-y, and frankly ridiculous and offensive. Sorry! They don’t do it well. You can come up with alternatives too. See #2 btw.

1. No it isn’t doing a good job of reflecting life because life has consequences. The exaggeration in drama doesn’t mean the arc shouldn’t be there. Almost always things that aren’t heavy with the message or meant to be sobering in a deep way are COMPELLING. The realism is the basis for art because we are human. This is not the way real humans act.

Someone said Tharn Type was mature and I had to laugh because no, no one acts that way and is “in love” if they act that way that means they fucking hate each other and they’re immature and frankly it’s just not that interesting for many of us to watch because the dramatization of the “realism” is fucking bonkers. That was such poor writing it is unbelievable and someone has the audacityt o say it’s how real adults act. Fucking murder me if I’m with someone for 7 years and we break up over a miscommunication and for some reason I am not as horny as my always horny boyfriend. The fuck? What kind of lives do you lead? Either you are not an adult or you are an adult who needs therapy.

I also hear the “realistic” argument but then people try and temper it with “but also it’s fiction.” What do you think fiction is? Why do you think filmmaking exists? Number one, it’s propaganda in the sense that you want others to buy into your presentation and see what you see. That means that the creators are telling people and influencing them WITH ART BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT IT IS about their feelings around a situation. That’s why it is imperative to be responsible as a filmmaker and artist and underline the deepness of creepiness if that’s what they want. If they want to relay that rape sometimes ok and psychos are crazy so they get boy (??!?!?!? BITCH?) then they achieved it with no innovative information. We know people get raped bc we are human beings and many of us live with that fear. You know, being the target demo and all. And bc BL loves that trope it’s rape fantasy peddled to young people and women. Just like shitty wattpad fics or NYT best sellers. Hooray, what now? Or are you trying to purport that this isn’t glorified fanfiction? Which it literally is

2. This is the issue with these shows. No one is saying that fucked up shit cannot be shown. There’s a film about a woman who is raped and she falls in love with her rapist (because he was masked but i think we find out later that she knows. Binoche is in it.) I have no desire for that film—i think it’s by a man and i extra dont care—but I hear it’s sort of powerful for many. I heard it was a good film. But the act itself is always eschewed and the conflict comes from how fucking ridiculous it is especially finding out that she knows. The power imbalance adn the possibility. They may not have handled it in a way I would have cared for but it was there.

There’s simply no imagination because these people do not care that much and aren’t great writers and filmmakers because they simply do not have to be. Sorry.

The industry doesn’t rely on the best they rely on efficiency (this is everywhere.) You can tell by the camera angles, the editing, the camera itself (idk if it is multicam but the flatness is typical soap flatness without the glowboxes to soften their faces.) Simple constant lighting. Now the surroundings are mostly beautiful. But even to some of the costumes. And those edits are abysmal, some of that camera work.

So with all that said even with the couple I extremely enjoy I see its (H4) faults. Add into that a lazily thrown together “shocking” love and if they are trying to get us to feel a type of way about its sexiness they fail. This is why movies like 50sog, 365 days, etc aren’t enjoyable to people because it’s fucking strange situations that they dont want to entangle or make enjoyable to viewers across the board. They know what people will take. It’s just that bitch what are we here for if even the sexiness isn’t there for ur stupid story.

At least with that teenager and 30 yr old man in MODC (which i do not love but i like them in theory if it wasnt totally repulsive to me and also if it was developed in a way that was good TO ME) they had their, er, “sex appeal” i talk about this as well the main couple in MODC to me, visually, was a miss. Not bc whatshisface was small and stuff but bc he was so sickly and they needed that to propel the story but it was just not appealing given how the story progressed. A missed opportunity in tying the two together besides making him look waif-y and sickly only to have the “did ur mom die in a car crash? No, cancer” type of move in not another teen movie. But the opposite. And not funny. Wayne tho????? GORL. Eggs. Cracked.

fandoms have a very warped sense of harrassment and discourse.

Most fandoms have harassers who are “protecting” the cast and crew who don’t need their protection (or maybe the crew does since they probably dont get paid well but why the fuck would anyone care about that lol) but very few have the people who have concerns or massive critique about the show are not going to be “bullying.”

If people are saying “if you like xyz, u suck” then sure it may suck for you to see but who fucking cares. Either talk to the person or don’t be friends with them. That is not bullying or harrassment. Things that are shitty get criticized. Fuck, things that aren’t shitty don’t. Get away from this idea of cancel culture and people misunderstanding the story. We have the ability to.

Think beyond your noses of personal preference. You don’t have to convince people of what you believe. Discussing it is good but critique is not bullying, harrassment, or hate. Neither is fucking roasting shit because even this shit I like (manner of death lets say) deserves it. Art is meant to be critiqued and if you dont fucking like the bullshit people make then say it. They know stupid stories like this are scandalous and they don’t give a shit in how to present them.

And guess what? You won’t like everybody. Many people can’t stand me i’m sure. Oh well. I mean frankly I don’t like that and I feel very unsettled when I don’t feel understood. That’s ok! I have to temper it. Sometimes calm myself down. I won’t get anything and everything I want. And you won’t like every opinion and sometimes it’s like “man am i a dummy?” But the part of growing up is fucking maanging that and beng honest about “bashing and harrassment” and “bullying” and growing up. Yuo can like what you want the “let people like what they want thing” is so fucking juvenile and THAT is not the real world. Which is probably why so many people feel that way, they dont want to live in the real world. Unfortunately, you do.

Think beyond our noses of personal preference and what we feel emotionally in conjunction with others. You don’t have to convince people of what you believe. And you can say things that you believe to be true but it doesn’t make them so or maybe it isn’t received that way to people. And many times we learn new things in the discussions “oh shit i didn’t see it that way” right? Discussing it is good but critique is not bullying, harrassment, or hate. Neither is fucking roasting shit because even this shit I like (manner of death lets say) deserves it. Art is meant to be critiqued and if you dont fucking like the bullshit people make then say it. They know stupid stories like this are scandalous and they don’t give a shit in how to present them. Usually the “opposition” in these situations aren’t the popular beliefs that permeate through society. Trust me lmao

Antiblackness

Antiblackness is a thing. It permeates everywhere. It permeates in this genre and it permeates in fandom. Get it the fuck together. Also do not conflate cultural relativism with being repsectful. They are not barbarians, they are smart human beings either making work or deciding to. We all have diff cultures but we have fucking sense in what is respectful and not. And if we don’t we fucking learn. You cannot excuse things and say “oh culture” when you have 0 idea of that culture or actual people who are radical etc and are fighting against it. Additionally the word westerner is an ignorant term when referring to people in the US or UK who are black. Because we are not. We extend sympathy to other groups and empathy since we know so there is no inherent power imbalance between a black viewer and their subject. Don’t suggest that because it’s wrong and ahistorical and contextless.

FIRST the fallacy of representation as freedom makes people fucking complacent, individualistic, and doesn’t let them think critically. Consumption and discourse around consumption is not helping material conditions of the marginalized communities in your home, the black ones who are ignored, those intersectionalized in these communities. Groups talk about art and what it means for them outside of just what we see and because we also don’t have access to a bunch of Thai reviews or what movements or going on we are less likely to know if we don’t FUCKING SEARCH for it. Because art is constant...which leads me to....

Representation is difficult. It matters and it doesn’t.

Tthese shows are not meant to overturn the LGBTQ+ community.

There are queer filmmakers and artists in these countries. Deep illustrious film careers or even TV that is moving and deliberate. We can even see it with the dude from “your name engraved” in their short series he was in beforehand. BL is no wa pejorative because it is simply not “qu**r” storytelling whatever that means. But know it has always existed everywhere and there are also out artists or radical artists in all these countries who do no respect mediums that are cash-grabs and poorly made.

ex: As much as “Like in the Movies” sort of isnt for me and is a bit hamfisted you can tell how much love goes into that. Love of the characters, acting, and message. Yes it’s cringey to see some of the lines (like very tbh subtlety wasnt exactly their strong suit) and yea naming them after lenin and marx is just 0ihgoaudgijposkagjihou BUT GUESS WHAT? THEY FUCKING DID IT. THEY TRIED. And class was a large component as well bc u cant fuckin ignore it. The show is aware of the machinations in its world as a show but also in the philippines and for a fuckin reason. And duatarte? Loooooooool so like yea not so sure bl makes him love his ppl but the show isnt trying to do that

It’s not a transgressive genre and it has no reason to be. No ethical anything under the way we live it’s just trying your fucking best to be. That’s it. They serve societal ills and capital’s purposes. Which is fine but it is not revolutionary.

These countries in SEA or even SA do not have as big budget for even mainstream dramas—though things are changing and that’s bc REVENUE like revenue from kpop is fucking huge for SK and again so much about that is bc of what happened in their history from japanese imperialism to WWII to the US—so for “queer” stuff it is sort of now important to make that an export and it sure is one. Not only globally or to the west but a lot of these places make their money within asia (duh!) outside of their countries. OBVIOUSLY. so BL is a way to output and gain money. The thing is, it doesnt seem to be put back into the industry at all. For people in all these countries to make works that aren’t for mainstream or wont reach as many people there’s a difference between trying and just shoving shit in your face and going here it’s gay you like it right? But dont antagonize the inherent patriarchal nature of BL.

Another thing: did you guys know thailand was never colonized? You should look it up. There’s little hints of things in ITSAY to represent french influence still. Isnt that fascinating? Find out why. It’s certainly interesting that the representation, though damaging and dubious many times and also incorrect like any media, is huge in asia and this isnt a commodity here (the US) exactly. A lot of that has to do with colonial ideas of gender of which I am sure. But listen………lmao

Sometimes people dont give a shit. And it very much shows. Here is the thing once again. GOOD TRANSGRESSIVE WORK exists.

Een within the capitalist Bs paradigm or you can see people trying (I can sort of applaud parts of lovely writer) also queer media has always existed everywhere the reason you don’t know about it is because it gets takena nd commodified into a mainstream product. We hvae little incentive, particularly if we are not fans of cinema or art in gen, to search fror others when the output is right here. Being dictated by others and the state and who will give you money. No longer an effort of a cast and crew who want to convey things. But google [any country] independent cinema, radical cinema, queer radical cinema, or even retrospectives on the cinema and rethinking what is queer and radical in film. What if we took that, diluted it, got rid of the creators who put themselves through all the work, ignroe al the nuances and do……………….two actors who are conventionally attractive with no chemistry making out.

It’s the same here lets say daniel kaluuya winning the oscar for the film about the BPP. I heard it was okay and not too offensive but it still isnt’ enough. It still isn’t like hwood isn’t trash, nnati black, misogynistic towards BW and women, and all that other shit. It was pushy but it can’t be enough where we are. Black KKKlansmen i think won an oscar, by circumstance i fuckin hate these award shows they mean nothing, and i like the film a lot but he has his misogynoir still resting in his films even if it is poignant. And it was a film that honestly wasn’t really made for black people. And should all art be a response to direct trauma or trying to make ourselves palatable when we’re just human?

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ and it’s importance (capitalism) but also sorta individual responsibility

Considering a lot of these actors are rich and then just dip that’s another problem. Mainstream isn’t what sustains marginalized art ever. It doesn’t change in the vast ways we think it does. What changes is the people of these groups pushing, fighting, forcing and then capitalism trying to make it work under capitalism. It will not. It cannot.

This is why artists and labels often don’t mix or you see people like Sonic Youth doing whatever they want and pissing off their label but making them give them money. Same with Nirvana. Vince Staples. The thing is they can fight and make good shit but what capitalism helps people….not care? They don’t respect the audience? We’re getting those returns on poor executed product placement, lighting, editing, framing, fucking acting. And you surewon’t see mixed black asians in these shows. WHY R U is the oNLY one i have seen it in and he just disappears (but that was pretty cool.) so who the fuck is this representing? And before you start: asian countries are not homogenous the way we believe them to be. There are marginalized communities outside of even mixed people that are harmed. So you can skrrt cause on that one: you’re wrong buddy. But it gives us the IDEA of a paradise which is what they NEED.With representation and visibility comes consequence and responsibility as artists. What it allows them to do is coast and not think complexly because why should they; it’s mostly the fantasies of some older woman who probably has money and much less interaction with the world. It’s bonkers. And what that allows even further is for them to say YOU ARE THE THING THAT YOU CONSUME and the THING THAT YOU CONSUME IS YOURS. It is not, it is not your identity, form a close bond but figure it the fuck out. Especially for adults who are hellbent on twisting their minds into pretzels and can’t acknowledge what’s just laziness in art and not giving a fucking shit. Truly.

There’s damage that has been done from Parasite as he was supported by CJE&M and the bullshit obsession america had and eveyrone’s poor interpretation of it if they are rich. BJH is a socialist and he is a filmmaker. He has made films that are outstanding and cost a lot of money. But now a fear for indie filmmakers is just not being able to raise that much or have that much attention. Getting funding that helps them instead of expecting the Next Big Thing that is a fad because capitalism is trash. Yes this funneling of money is absolutely harmful to us artists. Even buying in is strategic. Additionally, that film is probs one of the most radical films to have that wide release and accolade (unlike “Sorry to Bother You” which i have a lot of thoughts about. One being that asian exports are acceptable but black ones are not. This is an overall art critique and global media critique. Blackness is removed, not respected.) However, filmmaking isn’t green, it can’t be socialist, and it’s a lot of work. They used tons and tons and TONS of water to do a huge beautiful feat but we still know there is a cost. We have to figure that out because it shouldn’t be. It doesn’t go back into the crew’s pockets the way it should and the work becomes that of the director’s and actors solely. It’s fucking hard. We have to do our part but it doesn’t mean we are doing it perfectly. We just have to try to do better. So does BJH cos he needs to not be a misogynist but anyways i digress.

additionally and this is something some users fail to understand: people in the media sphere generally have fucking money. I went to film school that was international with super fucking rich kids. Taiwanese kids, kids from south asia, china, thailand. They had money. No not upper middle class money, not “rich” money, not some paltry 1m that’s chump change. Fucking money. Fucking RICH-RICH. MILLIONAIRES. BILLIONAIRES. WHICH IS DISGUSTING MIGHT I ADD. The domestic people didn’t have the money for school (in the UK) and i am in a massive amount of debt like every other black student that went there. You do not understand how much money is needed to survive so people who turn to these crew positions even casting etc need this fucking money usually. OKAY. A lot of the people that do well in these dumb shows or even on a larger scale HAVE MONEY. The reason these industries are small and struggling is because of lack of people and lack of resources to independent shit because oh gee it takes money to make things.

Why should I try? Well you don’t have to really if you have money or a name. Yet...

We can tell when like those Tik Tok shows or DCOMs dont give a shit (anymore.) You know how frustrated we get when content for young people is garbage? Well, see, BL is literally that under that system. Occasionally we will get something good now but there is virtually no need in any sector in the world at this point to truly figure out how to make it better and what to do to enhance artistic literacy, outreach, teaching people new things, getting people from these communities there and having true realistic says. Art and culture is IMPERATIVE TO WORLD LIBERATION but not when it is so stiffly trying to bend to capital’s idea of progressiveness. No. Neoliberalism. No.

That’s why in a way ITSAY is a huge feat; it takes from films etc and they clearly had money (the actors rae rich too which….lmaooooo j’aime pas) but it was a respected fucking script, acting was important, blocking, framing. There’s very little to critique as a visual medium for that because I understand what they are trying to do, their market is going to be mostly young girls, but they RESPECT THE FUCKING AUDIENCE. And guess what guys? You can make money from it!!!! WOAH! Since that may be the only goal which is disgusting and repulsive.

HOWEVER AND THIS IS WHAT IS SAD: itsay is an ex of a great show however knowing the actors backgrounds and the pseudo trouble it stirred when they weren’t supporting people protesting against the coup in the summer it really put a damper on my enjoyment. And this is how we can see that:

a) it’s honestly just a show and a good one but b) now what?

These kids (actors, who are like idk 19? 20?) are rich and not saying anything while countless actors, who were filming, did. Even tul who has $$$$ and the thing is the protesting against the coup legitimately attacks the rich. As it should. The protests going on were cries for help, against a dictatorship and fucking coup, asking people to get fucking help for covid, having kids be able to live. There’s a mini on VICE about this and it probably doesnt go too in depth but there’s a kid in there who talks about his friends getting into drugs and how he just wants to make music, have fun, skateboard. And it’s harrowing to see. This is a direct example of what these things do and don’t do. Yea we know a good show is here, we know growing up and slice of life, we know this is a bit of escapism and idealism but the idealism is reflected in the way these actors also choose to live their lives. So what progress? To who? For who? How is this helping me? What purpose does it serve? I say ITSAY serves its purpose as a piece and a glimpse into possibility of growing up but i do not say it antagonizes a broader issue that needs to be relevant in some sense but simply is not. It’s very singleminded and, well, it’s sort of like “besides my sexuality, what do i have to worry about?” But for real humans like....a lot. I do not respect their decision at all.

Why can’t we do our jobs and make something decent and respect our audience? No time, gotta make that sweet sweet sweet cash baybee. Look how progressive we are! Don’t look at history and material conditions. Thanks in advance, management.

History 4 does not have that respect. Many of these shows do not. Sometimes we hit good, sometimes we don’t. But in the end we cannot settle. And I won’t. If I am critiquing something I will not be shy and if I am meant to enjoy something as escapism then these shows NEED to highlight that and it’s rare sometimes (the best twins is a good reminder like that show is bad but man do i Brain Empty when i turn it on and i like that and there’s not much in it that makes me want to kill myself from annoyance but there are transphobic jokes i dont love however the whole show is a comedy about this dude’s crazy homophobic sister and she is constantly positioned as wrong and they talk about the aforementioned trans women as the actor was in drag. Interesting that they can manage that, huh?)

Oh btw.....taiwan has a very complicated history but ignore all the bad stuff it’s good now you can kinda sorta get married and stuff. KMT? You know how i learned that? I care about human beings and read about it lmao. I am not Taiwanese and look at that. So now I have historical and DIALECTICAL~**~*~****~*~*~ context so i can judge it as an artist, a black woman from america, and from the knowledge i have to pick up on their history to see if this fits into a broader picture besides the micro-one of sexuality on an individualized level. And this is kinda where it comes full circle: these shows are not you, you are not them, they do not exist in a vacuum because nothing does. The failure to critique now means continuing on as it has and it will still do so. History and time are not linear in the sense we think it is. Someitmes things are better, sometimes things feel more austere. We are not living under liberation though and these shows are not going to do so. So they are not US nor are they for a nebulous “us” of which the groups are all fractured and have diff opinions anyway (my opinion as a black american is going to vary from an asian woman’s say and that could really clash and i do not feel solidarity with all those in every community i am for several reasons.)

Final thots that have taken up my time and the only thing i actually wanted to write but got distracted:

Anyway my dissertation is that I ilke Muren and LiCheng a lot a lot and i like how cute they are and how truly dumb li cheng is. This is an example of mostly good writing, decent actors, nice chemistry, and sort of a calmness to them. And I super enjoy how Muren is pretty forward with LC in the sense that being together is like very important to truly be together. When he was like “no i didnt forget!” Or when LC asked him something in the office I forget it was 6 am and again i almost threw up and muren nodded and then LC leaned on him. Very cute. I want more of them tho i may have to skip that othre couple (the cameo the ones from MODC) but omfg the younger one HIS HAIR GREW SO MUCH HE LOOKS SO MATURE AND CUTE OMFGIJ0HUG9SAOGIJPKOAGJSIOHUAGIJP hahhaha the one good thing i will say about THEM.idk how old the actor is i figure he was young idk it makes me happy to see him he’s very cute. I hope he’s in something i can watch and not gag at. Is he hot? Who knows but he is a cutie!!

Anyway muren and lc have a good thing going it’s nice to watch ho\pe they dont fuck it up but im truly a sucker for some true finds 2 luvas i think some user on her\e was like i’m not a fan of friends ot lovers bc it doesn’t seem like they’re actually friends and maybe they were referring to this show idk. But it made me think and it was a very good observation. So i think they are friends and also luvrs <3

#history 4 #history 4: close to you #i told sunset about you #a thot #tharntype #lovely writer #bl fandom #idk #lol #long

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calpops · 5 years ago

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sweet meetings | m.c.

Anonymous: eve!!! i can't stop thinking about baker!michael it is SO soft my heart!! imagine you work at cal and ash's record store, mainly on the weekends but sometimes during the week, bc you're studying, and at first you go into the bakery for a coffee and a quick bite to eat before shifts but when you notice how cosy it is you think it might be a great place to study, not to mention there's a really cute guy working there, n mike of course takes notice of you, at first u share simple pleasantries but the more u come in the faster it evolves into easy banter, soft laughter and shared smiles, he knows how u take ur coffee and why u prefer the blueberry muffins over the apple cinnamon and when you start coming to study, bag overflowing w books and a battered laptop, mike can’t help but watch u in the quiet moments, eyes focused on ur work n fingers carefully pulling off pieces of ur muffin and one day he works up the nerve to sit w you on his break, coming over w a nervous smile but you’re so happy n surprised, unsure if he saw anything more than a regular who he got on well with!! now it seems all the soft smiles n lingering gazes n times ur fingers brushed when he handed you ur food before work have evolved into something more!! so this becomes a regular occurrence for the two of u and wow i don’t know this could go on forever because i am so so so soft for michael look what u have done to me eve!!!!! i cant even be mad cuz ily

I went a little overboard with this and added some concepts. Hope that’s okay!

Word count: 2k

***

You often find yourself in a rush. Never having enough time between working at a record shop, doing classes online and living the rest of your life to stop and enjoy moments for what they’re really worth. Rushing is a habit for you; second nature and easy. You realize it’s too easy, that time slips past you and hurtles on whether you’re aware of it or not. Your life is a whirlwind and you’re determined to enjoy the breeze once and a while. With this realization and determination you stop. Stop running from place to place and take your time. Take time for yourself. It’s a mild morning when you slowly stroll up to the bakery across from the record shop. Your boss Ashton always raves about the iced coffee and Calum has found more than just the treats to be sweet. It’s calm inside, the morning rush over—a sweet spot of time in between morning coffee needs and lunchtime cravings. It’s quaint and quiet and a complete contrast to the way you usually live your life.

There’s no line when you walk in. Desserts and pastries of all kinds sit behind glass and a handwritten menu board dominates the wall above. It’s written in white chalk with special menu items erased and rewritten likely by the day. Everything looks delectable and you’re glad to have taken some time to come inside. A swinging door to the back—probably leading to the kitchen—opens as the front door behind you shuts. A man around your age comes through, his blonde hair tucked under a black cap and the black apron around his waist dusted with patches of white flour. The name tag on his apron says Michael, well, the el is smudged with some ingredient that obscures part of the letters but you surmise Michael must be what’s hidden underneath. You haven’t made up your mind by the time he asks for your order and you’re slightly taken aback at his soft voice and meeting his gentle green eyes.

You stumble over your words a bit when usually you’d be in a hurry to get them out. You finally decide. “A blueberry muffin, please.”

You see a tilt of a smile as he looks down to the baked goods below and comes back with your order; wraps it in a thin sheet of paper and asks if it’s for here or to go. You notice the tables by the windows, each one with a vase of flowers and natural sunlight. Some have chairs with comfortable cushions and the others have booth seats that seem inviting. The bag on your shoulder is heavy; filled with your academics. The tables seem a nice place to study. In your determination to enjoy the breeze you choose to stay. You tell him it’s for here and pay and try not to think about the brush of your fingers against his when he hands the muffin over.

You find a home at a booth, bag resting on the seat beside you as you take a moment to savor the burst of blueberry and sugar on the top of your tongue. You decide in that moment that slowing down and taking your time is worth every second spent. You face toward the counter and kitchen door, opting to face away from the street where a busy city lurks beyond. A sense of calm clings to you as you finish the baked good and decide to stay a while longer—wanting to try the iced coffee Ashton raves about and settle in to pace yourself on work stacked in your bag. You find solace in the quiet yet a nervous energy settles and sparks in you any time Michael makes his way out of the kitchen as a few customers come and go. By the time you’re ready to leave you catch eyes with him one more time and he waves, a small smile giving you a goodbye and a reason to come back the next day.

And so the bakery becomes a new habit—the best way to break one is to replace it with another. Rushing melts away and the bakery becomes a beacon of downtime. Michael becomes a person you look forward to seeing. In a sense he becomes routine. Just as easy as rushing. You always exchange glances when he peeks out from the kitchen to inspect the run of the bakery. He usually blushes when you catch gazes, cheeks going rosy and a timid smile capturing his features. You see the smile in his eyes, green glinting and glimmering with a bashfulness that endears and intrigues you. There’s a lot you wish to know about Michael.

He knows enough about you through your interactions. How you take your coffee, that you prefer hot chocolate to it but need the caffeine to keep you going. Why blueberry anything is the superior choice. He’s even asked about your work and classes, about the books you seem to carry with you all the time. He’s eyes are observant and his mind has flawlessly put together small pieces of you. Weeks pass in a hazy blur as you learn to slow down and spend more and more time at the bakery. Breaks from work lead you there. Mornings before and nights after usually have you stopping in.

There’s an air of mystery and elusiveness that follows the baker. What you know is minimal and trivial, even as the weeks pass and more than simple hello’s and please and thank you’s become exchanged. He seems guarded and you have no reason as to why that might be so. But you find yourself coming back consistently. Now a regular that walks in and is recognized by any and all staff. You sit in your usual booth and after catching gazes with Michael multiple times you wonder if the stirring of feelings that have made way into you are completely one sided. Maybe all he sees in you is a customer. Maybe it is purely business for him. Maybe slowing down has put a hazy sheen on reality when you’re so used to fast paces.

Your pencil taps along a text book page as your thoughts consume you, eyes glued to the menu board and teeth sunken into your lower lip. It isn’t until a small voice from below breaks through your reverie that you find familiar eyes. Gentle green stares up at you behind a mess of blond hair. A boy not but three or four reaches up, a small muffin in his clutches. It takes a moment for you to realize he’s offering the baked good to you. As soon as you reach for it Michael is bursting through the kitchen door and racing over to the child, scooping him up and trying his best to apologize and inform you that wasn’t supposed to be for a customer, just practice for his son.

In one snap moment all the haze clears but new questions take hold of your mind. You realize why he’s so guarded but have to question if there’s a reason he never told you. You realize it doesn’t matter for the moment. Not when a child’s innocent eyes are pinned on you; awaiting a reaction to the muffin still in your loose grip. You know Michael said it’s not meant for you but the look in his son’s eyes clearly says that it is. You take a small bite and grin, compliment the good work and hear Michael sigh in relief as he sets his son back down.

“Blueberry’s your favorite right? That’s what dad says.”

You nod and feel a rush of warmth at the question and the fact that Michael has spoken of you in any capacity to his son.

“Riley, bud—why don’t you go behind the counter. There’s some cookies you can have,” Michael suggests with a blush that also suggests his embarrassment at the situation. Riley takes off and Michael calls after him. “Only two!”

Michael turns back to you with anxiety written clearly across his face. His hands wring at each other and his eyes flicker to the booth seat opposite you. You motion for him to sit; curious what he might say.

“I’m sorry about all of that; he’s usually pretty good at sticking with me. He’s just a little excited today,” Michael explains and you arch an eyebrow.

You close your textbook, the prospect of studying blown out the window in a new whirlwind created by a four year old. You can feel your heart beating fast and hard in your chest. You never expected Michael to have a kid.

Michael goes on to explain and settle the nerves that seem to have exploded through you. “I usually only get him on the weekends and in summer. But his mom’s on her honeymoon and I get him for a whole week. He loves the bakery; getting to come with me every day has gotten him a bit unruly. All the sugar...” Michael says with a pointed look at the counter where another worker stands while Riley sits and eats his allotted two cookies.

Michael keeps explaining and it’s as if whatever guards he had up come crashing down. He tells you all about Riley and co-parenting. That he and the bakery take up most of his time and you realize that maybe he was living in a rush and whirlwind too. And by the way his eyes stay on yours and hands fidget on the tabletop you wonder if he doesn’t just see you as a customer and that’s why he stayed guarded for so long. To protect his whirlwind and everything within it; mostly Riley. You understand his reason as he comes barreling back to Michael, coloring books and a pack of crayons in hand.

“Can I color here?” He asks and climbs up into the booth and clears Michael’s lap to settle by the wall before an answer can be formed.

You grin and try your best to bite back a laugh as Michael tries to reason with him and tell him he shouldn’t disturb anyone. Riley merely blinks and looks to you to see if it’s okay. You nod your approval and enjoy your time with Michael and Riley. You’re in no rush to leave; wanting to use any time with them to the fullest.

A new routine forms throughout the week. It’s much of the same but with company. You sit in your usual booth and Riley sits opposite you. Textbooks and coloring books, graphite pencils and crayons spilled among the shared table. Michael often checks on Riley. And from that he ends up spending time with you. Everyday you learn more about them. Everyday your whirlwinds become more and more intertwined. Riley sometimes draws you pictures, the one of Michael with hands three times the size of his head and two left feet being your favorite. Riley mirrors Michael in a lot of ways you come to realize; the same laugh and sincerity in green eyes.

By the end of the week you realize Riley won’t be there come Monday and know that you’ll miss his company and the excuse for Michael to constantly check in. It’s just as you’re about to leave that Michael stops you, a sheepish expression and rosy cheeks, nervous hands and Riley by his side.

“We uh—“ Michael starts, clearly anxious. “We wanted to know if you’d like to go to dinner with us tonight?”

Your stomach flutters and heart races at the invitation. But Michael’s continuing on before you can say yes.

“And lunch, with me… tomorrow?”

You break out into a grin and nod enthusiastically; ever grateful for sweet meetings with blueberry muffins and time taken to enjoy the breeze.

You can already feel Michael’s whirlwind sweeping you off your feet.

***

If you’d like to be added to my tag list just let me know!

Tagged: @rosecolouredash @irwinkitten @golden-hood @who-do-you-love-5sos @caswinchester2000 @wildflowergrae @empathycth @cuddlemecalx @calumsmermaid @babylon-corgis @outerspaceisbetterthannothing @mariellelovescupcakes @xhaileyreneex @goth5sos @gosh-im-short @feliznavidaddycal @loveroflrh @findingliam-o @flowerthug @g-l-pierce @talkfastromance4 @cashtonasfuck @sc0ttish-wildfl0wer @wastedheartcth @calumscalm @thesubtweeter @akafeliznavidaddy @myloverboyash @treatallwithkindness @haikucal @wiildflower-xxx @calum-uncrowned @egyptiangoldhood @mantlereid

#michael clifford #5sos imagines #5sos blurbs #michael clifford blurbs #michael clifford imagines #michael clifford x you #michael clifford x reader #5sos x you #5sos x reader #business!sos #baker!mike

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123abcdrawwithme · 5 years ago

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all spg albums poorly described by me bc i can

album one: steam man band: michael reed voice: GUYS HOLY HECK LOOKIT MY ROBOT FRIEMDS THEIR SO COOL OHMA G AD clockwork vaudeville: now when you say you bought yourself a pickle- sound of tomorrow: the jons audible lenny face as he says “in the nude” on top of the universe 2009 ver.: RABBIT FUCKED A TOASTER AND UPGRADE KILLED THE SPINE THE GIRLS ARE OFF THE SHITS on top of the universe 2011 ver.: alternate timeline where the jon and rabbit kill the spine and deny him ice cream i am not alone: poor one out for upgrades 1 (one) song, shes trying her best ice cream parade: i don’t even know where to begin with this one brass goggles: LOCAL ROBOS ARE FEELING EMO SO THEY HAVE A SING ALONG out in the rain: splish splash they was havin’ a bash electricity is in my soul: okay but whomst the hell is that electronic voice who sings the “la la’s”? serious question who tf is it???? steam man band reprise: michael reed voice: GUYS MY COOL ROBO FRIENDS ARE GETTING AN ENCORE HOLY HECKIE blind minstrel’s ballad: ominous captain albert alexander: listen,,,, he beat spider hulk in an arm wrestling match,,,, hes really cool,,,,,, the 2¢ show: steamboat shenanigans: some say they sang so hard they really did make it to the moon and across the stars ;) one-way ticket: CHU CHU I LOVE U ju ju magic: jonathan giraffe what tHE FUCK ARE YOU SINGING ABOUT HONEY? ARE YOU OKAY? me and my baby (saturday night): the spines a hopeless romantic and he loves to treat his girl and his siblings support him little birdie: jon makes friends with a bird or some shit idfk rex marksley: the spines a hopeless romantic and sings about his cowboy crush and his siblings support him automatonic electronic harmonics: they want to feel cool,, let them feel cool,, prelude to a dream: hey michael i thought you were supposed to be the human friend whats all this about not being a human being?? mike? m-mike?? make believe: FUCK SOCIETY, TRANS RIGHTS BITCHES *EPIC KAZOO SOLO* honeybee: ah yes that one song we won’t ever let them forget bc were all emo scary world: the morse code says spoopy the suspender man: rabbit voice: yeah theres this guys who sold his soul or whatever how fucked up was that, anyway i want to wear a dress :3c that’ll be the way home: THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL the ballad of lily: oh boi we about to have another character song on this album airheart: character song 2 electric boogaloo circuitry: y’all good? mk iii: curtain raiser: beebop voice: STEVETHY SOMEONES TRYING TO PLAY THE ALBUM steve voice: oh fuck steam powered giraffe: HEHE NAME DROP mecto amore: this is some rabbits in love again shit but with WHAMST hatch fever: hatchy is here and the album version does not capture how feral hatchworth performed this on stage a way into your heart: spg as a whole @ their fans: we love you all so much thank you for the support over the years :) <3 me through tears: bitch,,,,, <3 ghost grinder: rabbit and the boys on their way to the graveyard at 3 am to party with rabbits dead gf please explain: i stg everytime i hear hatchy sing “gum in my gears” i think he’s saying something else and i’m sure you can fill in the blank, but the thing that gets me is thats so on brand for him to say dsfdfg she said maybe: rabbit is just young old dumb and full of love these days isn’t she? go spine go: almost 6 minutes of hatchworth and rabbit being two year olds and poking fun at spine roller skate king: everyone sleeps on how good this song is wtf i’ll rust with you: me knowing full well this song is about rabbit outliving her gfs throughout the decades bc shes a robot: oh,, so thats why theres so many love songs by rabbit on this album,,, rabbit you good?? wired wrong: the spine you good?? fancy shoes: hATCHWORTH YOU GOOD??? steam powered giraffe reprise: we interrupt your regularly scheduled robot angst hours with that good weeb shit™ turn back the clock: okay back the robot angst bleak horizon: our lovelys saying goodbye saying they’ll be back to bring smiles on our faces soon as we close out to some ominous as fuck shit teasing vice quadrant the vice quadrant: the vice does tight: okay so the vice quadrants fucked up and the robots are very concerned by this on a crescendo: ominous foreshadowing thats so ominous i had to look up what this song meant lore wise bc i just thought it was the robots just dancing and having fun steamjunk: my dear sweet honey darling is traveling through space and I’M WORRIED ABOUT HIM starburner: low-key robo angst bc their worried about their souls being damned or some shit but its cute progress and technology: david YOUR RANGE wink the satellite: wink voice: YOU WAS MY BABY MY FUCKIN CINNAMON APPLE burning in the stratosphere: oh fire fire: this is the most haunting shit i have no joke for this sky sharks: hoo boi the sky sharks certainly won’t be killing us all today, but climate change sure will daughter of space: PREBBY SPACE GODDESS HNNNGNNGNG star valley night: honeys you know you can just wait for it to be night time right? then you can go play in the star valley at night- commander cosmo: BITCH YOU GOOD? where is everyone?: THERE SHE IS MY BABY gg the giraffe: MY DARLIIIIINNGGG SING IT HONEY the pulls: wink my darling y’all ok? soliton: corpse man and space goddess sing a really nerdy analogy about love and its gorgeous where i left you: wink seriously are you okay? over the moon: rabbits just done but shes gotta sing it and go all out with how done she is bc shes extra it’s cosmic: is the “alright!” rav?? also is this love song supposed to represent them causing more fuckshit and destroying the universe and just not realizing it bc their in love?? idfk man it bops hold me: whether from the perspective of holly or rabbit i weep openly at this song the speed of light: david: this is where the astronaut turns evil won’t tell you why tho ;) literally every lore buff: *listens to this song and tries to theorize wtf happened* rav to the rescue: local green space twink rescues his space bf more at 11 starlight starshine: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO the space giant: three steampunk robots fight a giant starbaby in guitar hero to save a satellites crush; a planet thats a huge apple i have zero jokes for this is already too absurd oh no: oh OH OH? O H. OOOH OH??????????? o h... oh no.... necrostar: evil pissrock possessed evil dead guy and is ready to cause fuckshit while the robots sing about how scared they are at the end super space blaster centi-asteroid invaderpedes 2: cute interactions with the robots! i hate this title tho whale song: wholesome shit to distract you from all the lore and foreshadowing at the end Music from steamworld heist: automatonic electronic harmonics, on top of the universe, electricity is is my soul, honeybee, and brass goggles: me minding my own business playing steamworld heist: *walks into a bar where spine rabbit and hatchworth are performing one of these songs* me: HOOOOOGH heist ho!: yeah thats piper for ya starscrap: hi i’m in love for rabbit? prepare for boarding: GET IN BITCHES WE’RE GONNA OVER THROW THE PATRIARCHY the red queen: capitalism? demolished. what we need are some heros: the spine projecting his love for cowboys onto the player characters the vast frontier: hatchworth: I’M A BAD BITCH YOU CAN’T KILL ME the stars: they made it lads they made it over the moon and across the stars.... also how’d they keep singing for that long aren’t they tired? quintessential: malfunction: wow i can’t believe spg ended transphobia i don’t have a name for it: love? i guess??gd fgdsghfdg blue portals: the idea of hatchworth going through the blue portals when i know they’re made out of blue matter is terrifying overdrive: they want to seem cool please play along and pretend their green screen work is cool the ballad of delilah morreo: this came right the fuck out of nowhere but fuck its here now and its fantastic love world of love: wonder what other balboa park songs they’ll bring back, like never gonna give you up :) only human: i’d die for you hatchy salgexicon: they deadass wrote a song about their dnd campaign sleep evil sleep: i guess we’re all evil BC WE KEEPING SLEEPING ON HOW GOOD THIS SONG IS TOO photographic memories: walter worker chelsea? come get ur mans- leopold expeditus: hatchworth: hey guys checkout my fursona dream machine: this song keeps me up at night with the endING I JUST WANT RABBIT TO BE HAPPY AND ARTSY BUT THE WAY IT ENDED WITH THE VICE QUADRANT RELATED TEASER MAKES ME THINK RABBIT PICKED UP A SATELLITE FREQUENCY FROM WINK ABOUT HOW NECROSTAR WILL KILL RAV IN THE FUTURE DEADASS I’M NERVOUS WHAT HAPPENED

#steam powered giraffe #spg #this took forever please just take it #not art

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caffeinatedtimdrake · 6 years ago

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How about ‘ i carry your heart with me’ for Jason?

A/N: here it is!! bc we all need more soft Jason in our lives!! about 1k of Jason feeling sappy after a mission and coming home to snuggle with you

i carry your heart with me

The thin chain and silver locket slide against Jason’s skin, a cool reminder of your presence amidst the stinging pain along his abdomen and the soreness in his shoulder.

“Is that what I think it is?” Tim arches an eyebrow, bemused, gesturing to the necklace hanging around his brother’s neck as he wraps Jason’s left wrist in gauze.

Jason sets his jaw in annoyance, grumbling in affirmation.

“Aw, Timmy, don’t tease the poor guy. Our Jason’s just in love.” Dick chirps from the opposite side of Jason’s mildly battered body, suavely threading a needle through the gash on his younger brother’s forearm.

“You guys really don’t need to do all this.” Jason huffs, fighting a mortified blush.

Damian isn’t directly helping much, but from across the kitchen, he offers, “Yes, I believe we do. If not, the owner of your necklace’s counterpart is sure to kick our shins and scold us.”

Dick glances over at Damian and sighs, “Our endearing voice of reason.”

Jason hadn’t meant to get battered so badly tonight, but he admits his arrogance might have inhibited him from calling for help until he was beyond – as Dick would say – whelmed.

Jason hadn’t meant to let the boys see the necklace clasped loyally around his neck, holding the jagged half-heart, half-inscribed with the words ‘best friends’.

Jason also hadn’t meant to fall irrevocably, profoundly in love with you, but strict planning never seemed to work out for him.

The two of you had been traversing a flea market on a warm, quiet Sunday morning when you stumbled upon the necklaces. In your youth, it had been a hot commodity and an ardent proclamation of friendship – best friendship.

A shy, hopeful smile spreads across your face. You trace your fingers across the engraved pendant and glance at him.

“Jason…can we?”

He blinks at you, childlike wonder igniting across his features. In any other situation, his knee jerk reaction might include a snarky remark and absolute denial, but this wasn’t any other situation. Where you were involved, things qualified as extraordinary.

He’s quiet for a moment, a slow grin pulling at his mouth and lighting up his sapphire eyes. “Yeah, of course, Y/N.” Jason finds himself borderline bashful.

When you pull out a few crumpled bills to hand to the old lady at the stand, he shoots you a look and reaches for his wallet.

“Jason, I swear to god –”

“Let me spoil you,” He whines.

“You can have it for free.” The elderly lady seated beneath the shade of the makeshift shop smiles at the pair of you fondly, effectively killing the bickering.

“We could never –”

“We insist –”

“I insist!” She chortles, waving her hand dismissively and getting up to hand you the necklaces.

You and Jason look at the woman, a little dumbfounded.

Her smile grows. “I’ve seen a lot in my years. I haven’t seen two people so in love in a long time. I know you must be more than best friends, but maybe in your darkest moments, a silly necklace meant for kids can help remind you of that.”

Jason has never really needed reminding. He knew it then and he knows it now, in the dingy lighting of the bat cave; you are his best friend and much, much more. You are his right hand, his beacon of light, his comfiest pillow, his book nerd buddy, his favorite song, and someone who could finish his sentences. You are his inspiration for adventure and muse for midnight poetry. You are his safety net. At dusk in early December, between mugs of hot cocoa and thick blankets, he learned you are his soulmate.

Still, he wears the necklace diligently. You are very well-entangled in his soul, but this is another way of carrying your heart with him. He knows you scarcely remove your own necklace. You carry him in your heart, and you keep him close to your heart. Without him, you are incomplete; an unfinished puzzle, a fragmented sentence, a wave that can never quite reach the shore.

You and Jason work together so easily, like the moon orbiting the earth orbiting the sun, gravity keeping him grounded even though you make him feel like his head is in the clouds.

“You’re all patched up, Jay.” Tim pats his thigh and stands, helping his brother get up and stretch. “Keep ice on the waist and take it easy for a few days. Don’t want these stitches opening up.”

Jason makes a face briefly, but Dick gently, endearingly whacks the back of his head. “Just do it.”

“I can tell Y/N, as well, since Todd often disregards medical advice.” Damian says, swinging his legs in an almost cute way, not completely unlike a child.

“I don’t wanna worry Y/N if I can help it, boys. I’ve done enough of that for a lifetime. But I do appreciate the help, really.”

Dick smiles at Jason softly. “Anytime, little bird.”

Jason’s walk home is quiet and peaceful and crime-free. He prays that you’re blissfully asleep, not awake with worry, because all he wants to do is crawl into bed and into your embrace.

He does find you asleep – sprawled out on the couch in basketball shorts and one of his t-shirts, mouth parted, as the television hums with the measured laugher of an old sitcom.

His heart leaps in his chest; because you waited for him, because you put on his clothes, because you look so damn cute in the throes of slumber that he wants to crumble into a squealing mess of adoration on the spot.

Jason switches off the T.V. and scoops you up into his arms. You’re so warm and so you, nuzzling into his chest and sleepily welcoming him home, that he forgets all the injuries he sustained throughout the night. He carries you as tenderly as he can to the bedroom.

You wiggle yourself underneath the covers and when he finishes changing into cozy pajamas, he turns back to the bed to find your arms stretched widely, beckoning him into your embrace.

He’s utterly enamored, cooing that he loves you, when he crawls onto the bed and into your arms.

Jason holds you close, pressing a kiss to your head.

He holds you – his heart, his home, his everything.

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treasureboys · 6 years ago

Text

boyfriend! hyunsuk

who?: yg treasure box’s choi hyunsuk genre: ☀️ type: bullet point

treasure map

bf! AU

very soft, he’s a major squish try and change my mind bitch

a/n: hyunsuk has this soft-loud energy and I think that is truly precious

disclaimer: pictures used do not belong to me and credit goes to their original owners this is purely a work of fiction DO NOT READ IF TRIGGERING

~ *＊✿❀ how you met ❀✿＊*

you met hyunsuk through mutual friends

...sort of

it was the night of your friend’s birthday party

you had to come over earlier bc her sister was stressing over the cake

she collected the wrong cake

“happy birthday hyunsuk!” was beautifully written in red frosting over the strawberry shortcake

nice

“Jennie cannot!! find out about this!” Chaeyoung shrieked, smacking the cake box lid . “I’m calling the bakery right now. Make sure she doesn’t enter this kitchen!”

luckily, Jennie was tucked away in her bedroom, getting ready for the big night

you reentered the kitchen as chaeyoung hung up

“what did they say?” you asked

She only sighed

“they have our cake and they need the other one back. But we need to hurry because the other cake is scheduled to be collected in an hour.”

a-an hour?

the bakery was 45 minutes away from the house!

“I’ll get the cake. Stay here and keep Jennie occupied. It won’t be suspicious when I arrive later,” you voiced out.

so you grabbed the cake box, flagged a taxi and sped to the bakery

I wonder who this Hyunsuk guy is though...

I feel kind of bad for taking his cake

you had to hug the box super tightly lest it flew around the backseat and self-destructed

sorry if I ruined your cake, Hyunsuk

you managed to rush into the bakery just slightly under an hour

as you expected there was a young man leaning over the counter to talk to the staff

he seemed quite irritated and frustrated

“what do you mean you can’t find the cake? I called two hours ago to confirm my collection,” he hissed, completely exasperated

hyunsuk?

quietly, you turned the cake over to another staff member

“We’re sorry sir, there seems to be a mix-up-oh! Excuse me for a minute.”

the staff disappeared behind double doors

“H-hey, you must be here for...hyunsuk.”

damn b u gon shoot ur shot here

the boy’s eyes widen but he nods

“Yeah, do you know what happened to my cake?”

so you fill him in

his reactions are to die for

“omg sis they did that? wtf spill more tea, pop off!”

he reminds me of a tea aunt lowkey

“My name’s Yedam, by the way.”

eventually, the staff came back with the correct cakes

“hey, you should come to the party tonight if you could,” yedam says warmly. “I’m sure Hyunsuk would like you.”

“maybe,” your reply is short and uncertain

but you leave with Yedam’s number and the address in your phone

Jennie’s bday party is a success :D

no one mentioned the whole cake situation

Jisoo and Lisa encourage you to hit Hyunsuk’s party up

“It really isn’t that far away! Just two bus stops! C’mon, I think it’ll be cool!” Jisoo cried out, beaming.

at first, you opposed the idea but a 1am Uber ride with the girls changed your mind

Hyunsuk’s party was still pretty happening

*knock knock*

“___! So glad you could make it!” Yedam smiled broadly. “I’ll take you to meet Hyunsuk!”

You could barely hear him over the noise. “Wonderful!”

Giggling, Yedam whisked you through the crowd and into what seemed like a living room

“Say hello to the birthday boy!”

With golden curls and a smile that reached his eyes, Hyunsuk was the definition of charming.

He grinned and waved calmly

Starstruck, you could only return the wave, a hot blush sweeping across your face

You ended up sitting next to him on the sofa after Yedam insisted Byounggon move one seat down

“Hi, I’m Choi Hyunsuk.”

*＊✿❀ kisses ❀✿＊*

wow kissing,,, something I have 0 experience in

anyway! Hyunsuk’s kind of a goofy, cheerful, laid back ? guy

so kissing is a normal thing

probably gives more ‘fleeting’ and ‘quick’ pecks to leave you wanting more

dramatic about them

“that’s enough for today!”

he would 100% still be shy internally

enough to keep you happy but too little to stop you from missing them

would totally give you a cheesy goodnight kiss ugh his mind

first kiss? Kind of spontaneous

It was a chill day, he invited you over to hang out after school or whatever

Just a day to relax and be with each other

And someone decided it would be fun to use an app that randomised cute couple activities to do

you didn’t think much of it since it was just for fun and games

but things were starting to get intense in staring contest pt.2

you didn’t mind looking into his sparkling orbs

brain: press his buttons

you: send a playful wink his way ;)

hyunsuk pressed his lips together before moving his face closer to yours

“c-can I kiss you?” he stammered out, the nerves getting the better of him

you were sTUNNED

LITERALLY SPEECHLESS

IT WAS SO IMPROMPTU AND UNEXPECTED

so all you could do was close the remaining space by placing your lips on his

(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄

UWU BITCH

AHHHDJSJSJDDB

quite a cute first kiss i must say :))

hyunsuk wouldn’t shy away from pda

would still blush a lot

he would even make out with you but only if you were comfortable

And if he felt particularly brave that day

really! likes! to! kiss! your! nose!

and boop it

wow why did this occur to me where am i getting this from

He could also be big on putting his arm around your shoulders

just a thought ;)

*＊✿❀ dates *＊✿❀

dates with him are probably laid back too

he’ll probably be down with anything you’re down to do to

but he would like to introduce you to his world too

maybe you’d take a dance class together

or just chill in the studio

or listen and work on verses

boy would write rap verses for you

Idk he strikes me as a person who would enjoy your company regardless if you’re there to do anything

Once in a while, when he gets out from yg basement you guys would go on full-day dates

just the whole day together

you and him

picnic! dates

and 11/10 he would forget something, like a picnic mat or cutlery

even if things don’t go as planned, he would be innovative and find alternatives

or just act like he meant to do that lol

would get a little sulky once dates had to end

“but I don’t wanna goooo. :(“

texts a! lot!

Likes to send u memes

ur like his bff

facetimes until 5am if he gets the chance to

chuckles and talks a lot

LoUD

can get pretty deep and serious

He wants to be real and transparent with you

gets more and more comfortable with you all the time

:”)

first date? he suggested going to a night market and stuffing your faces

I’m gg to say you guys were close friends even before starting to date

well, it rained that night

he got flustered and upset at first

but that never dampened your spirits!

let you use his jacket as an umbrella

did the boyfriend thing with that

still bought street food

still ate street food

still fed you street food

bonus! yall sought shelter in a covered noodle stand and ended having a second dinner waiting for the rain to stop

which meant more time spent together!!

in fact, you didn’t even realise when the rain stopped

but y’all bought celebratory ice cream right after

he walked you back home and you waited until his taxi came before heading inside

you even gave him a goodnight kiss on the cheek

and his ears got all red and he became bashful

“g-good...night!”

asked the taxi driver to blast the AC because he could not! stop blushing lmao

acted all smug abt it later

“so,,, about that kiss...”( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Hyunsuk’s a whole squish and softie

also a full-course meal when he wants to be

a hella wholesome boyfriend

#yg treasure box #yg treasure box scenarios #ygtb scenarios #choi hyunsuk

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howlingheartdemigod · 6 years ago

Text

What up yo i’m back on my bullshit. @riotbrrrd sent me more prompts so here’s this one

the prompt was “something about Beau talking to Jester about her feelings and insecurities for Yasha” and like ot3 if you squint

I loved this prompt. I wrote it at work bc it was a VERY slow day for me so forgive any mistakes.

build her wings

It was always hard when Yasha had to leave again. She’d been with them for so long, since Nicodranas, it was almost possible to forget she’d have to go. Almost.

But when thunder rolled overhead and they looked up to see dark clouds on the horizon, blotting the sunset that had signaled to them to set up camp, it hit Beau like a ton of bricks. She looked from the sky to Yasha, and felt her breath catch, because Yasha was already looking at her.

Beau wanted to ask her to stay. Wanted to call from across the fire that she should, just this once, ignore the call and stay with them. She wanted to plead for more time, she needed more time. They needed to talk about where they stood, where to go from there, and what that kiss had meant the other night. What Beau felt was nearly overpowering, did Yasha feel that way too?

Beau wanted to say all of that, but instead, she forced herself to smile. “Just, uh, come back safe, yeah?” she asked, softly. Yasha nodded, and Beau dropped her eyes as it hit the rest of their friends what the storm meant, that Yasha would be leaving them, again. She out of her peripheral vision as Jester pulled her into a hug, and Caduses put a hand on her shoulder. Beau pushed to her feet, letting out a little breath. She walked the Perimeter that Caleb had laid out with his thread, and tried to ignore the ache in her chest.

As she watched Yasha walk into the storm, she couldn’t decide it it was worse or better to see her go, instead of just waking to find her come. They both suck ass, she decided, before volunteering to take first watch.

Minutes without Yasha, turned to hours, turned to days. Time stretched on . The remains of the party traveled on to Zadash. Beau didn’t spend all her time dwelling, honest. She went book shopping with Caleb, learned how to cook some of Caduceus’ simpler recipes, she sparred with Fjord. She kept busy, just barely keeping Nott and her sticky fingers out of jail, and talking with Jester, often, always.

Gods Bless, Jester. She could always bring a smile to Beau’s lips. Jester was sunshine in the middle of a storm. She was a blessing. Beau wasn’t sure where they’d be if it wasn’t for Jester.

She was thinking that as Jester chattered away, talking about how excited she was to bring the trinkets they’d bought out in the Pentamarket back to their friends.

“... and Nott’s eyes will get all big how they do, and Yasha will love the little flowers.” Jester held up the ribbon, the beaded flowers, blue and sparking a the end. “She can braid it into her hair, and it will look so pretty.” Jester smiled over at Beau. “I can’t wait till she gets back.”

Beau let out a little sigh, eyes dropping to her feet as they walked. “Yeah, when ever she gets back.” Beau scanned the sky, oddly disappointed to see clear blue all the way to the horizon.

Jester bumped her shoulder into Beau’s. “She’ll come back, Beau. Yasha always comes back to us.”

Beau shuffled her feet a little, “Yeah, I know. Things are just…” Beau bit her lip, eyes drifting around the crowd, feeling effortlessly anonymous. “You can keep a secret, right Jes?”

“We all know you think Yasha’s hot, Beau.” Jester replied, something a little sour in her tone. Beau looked over, unable to keep from smiling at Jester’s scrunched features.

“Nah, Jes, not that.” Beau sighed. “When we were on our way back from Xhorhas, in the tunnels, you remember those goat men things we fought, and when I got hurt?”

Jester nodded, reaching into her habersack, pulling a pastry free. “Yeah, you got slashed across the stomach real bad and went down, but Caleb got bashed on the head because he’s so squishy so I had to help him, but it was okay because Yasha helped you.”

“Right, exactly that.” Beau let out a breath, looking around. “Gods, uh, so… When Yasha came over and healed me, she kinda… kissed me.”

“What!?” She said, wheeling towards her, the pastry falling to the ground. Jester grabbed her arm, a strength that still surprised Beau. “How did I miss that?!”

“Gods,” Beau put a hand over Jesters, prying her fingers loose. “We were around the bend in there, and I mean, it was so quick I’m still not totally convinced it happened.”

Jester stared at her, smile loose, eyes wide. “Was it good?” She asked, lips twisting mischievously.

Beau bit her lip, a blush coming to her cheeks. “Yeah. It was, but Jes…”

Jester laughed, and pulled away, half skipping away. “Nott owes me five gold.” She called back.

“Jester, you can’t tell Nott.” she said, jogging to catch up. “Seriously, it was probably nothing. Emotions were high, she’d just found where Zuala was buried, and we were smuggling Yeza out, it was probably nothing.” Beau reasoned, grabbing Jester’s wrist, dragging the excitable Tiefling to the edge of the crowd, at the mouth of an alleyway.

“Beau,” Jester replied, draggin her name out. “Yasha doesn’t go anything she doesn’t mean.” Jester’s head tilted, eyes drifting Beau’s face. “You need to stop thinking people caring about you isn’t possible.”

Beau let out a little huff, looking away, putting her hands on her hips. “I don’t think like that.”

Jester fixed her with a look Beau could feel without having to look at her, but she shrugged. “Did you ask Yasha what it meant?” she asked twirling her skirts a little, the edge brushing against Beau’s legs.

Beau shook her head. “We didn’t have time to talk privately. We had to get Yeza out, then the Alfield, and then deal with the problem there, and then… the storm came. And she left.” Beau dropped her eyes and shrugged. “I dunno Jes, She probably thinks it was a big mistake.”

Jester’s eyes bore into her, then Jester reached out and grabbed her hand. “No one with a brain in their head thinks you’re a mistake, Beau. I promise.”

Beau lifted her eyes to Jester, struck by how amazing it was to have someone like her in her life. “Well, keep telling me that, and I’ll try and believe it, alright Jes?”

Jester smiled, and nodded. Then pressed up on her toes and kissed Beau on the nose. “I’ll make sure you have private time with Yasha as soon as she gets back, okay?”

Beau nodded, and squeezed her hand, then they headed off.

The storm rolled overhead a few days later. Beau looked up a wide smile appearing on her face. She looked back to her friends, and felt her breath catch when she found that Jester’s eyes were already on her. Jester gave her a nod, and Beau pushed up from the table to go walk and meet the heart of the storm.

#beauyasha #my writing #mine #critical role #do i feel happy with this? maybe. am I going to touch it anymore? no I need to workout so no more editing

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redandfranticfeelings · 7 years ago

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'tag things making fun of doug' because your personal enjoyment of an abuser's content should supersede the feelings of the people he abused by making them act out rape jokes? the fact that making fun of an abuser upsets you because you like him warrants some serious self-examination on your part. 'you can't make fun of an abuser around me bc i like his content and you can't criticize me bc mental illness' is some wendycorduroy shit. i'm surprised you'd do this given how critical you are of her.

and yes, people are allowed to not like you for still liking the show. ofc people can have problematic interests if they want, but content that has been directly used by its creators to abuse people is a special kind of bad. you’re allowed to like it, but guilt tripping people or implying they’re not allowed to dislike the fact that you still support it is incredibly callous to the people rob, doug, and mike abused. this is not, nor should it be, about your feelings. this is about the victims.

you know what. upon further consideration, those asks were not kindly phrased. my intention was to emphasize that because the anniversary movies were vessels for abuse (injuries, rape jokes, etc) it was inappropriate to prioritize one’s own feelings over the feelings of the victims or block out criticism, but i phrased them in a way that was not productive and was attacking you. i’m sorry for my wording and for being a dick

thank you for your follow up apology. i see where youre coming with this but i think there’s a few things that i can point towards me not giving up on the show altogether.

short answer: while i detest the way the company has been run and is executing public relations, and i am uncomfortable watching any video on their channel and have not done such for weeks, and i really want the harmed ex-producers to receive justice, i still believe there is a shred of hope for the show based on what recent producers have said, and that doug can reform himself by owning up to his deliberate ignorance, neglect, and egotism, though he is not the biggest abuser in this situation. i have a lot of emotional history with NC that means i need time before i’m able to drop the show altogether, if i ever can, and i just want to avoid anything that isn’t constructive and just intended to make anybody feel bad for liking the show/movies before this information was widely known.

long answer:

most of the criticism lauded against doug isnt so much being the direct abuser but being complacent and ignorant of people’s health. if i recall correctly, while it was a pretty unnecessary and terrible joke to make in my opinion, he didn’t pick up that the drill scene in TBF made anybody uncomfortable at the time? and in recent years he seems more concerned about what his cast undergoes, and a lot of them have said that he does ask about jokes that might hurt them and make sure they’re comfortable. i believe he apologized for it and acknowledged his naievity in the movie’s commentary but restating that apology would be beneficial now, yeah.

while complacency and ignorance is bad, i think he has been neglectful, not directly abusive. also, idk if you meant this, but your phrasing makes it kinda sound like his projects were intended as a means to abuse people; the abuse happened because of the movies, yeah, but it was because of doug being egotistical and ignorant, not malicious. the content of the movies reflect’s doug’s massive ego but it doesn’t reflect a desire to abuse anybody. if he did the shit that mike michaud or mike ellis did, that would be inexcusable for me and i would have lost hope for him.

if anybody is definitely abusive, it’s the CEO, who i love watching get bashed because he is indeed a sexist verbally abusive asshole who holds the power in the company and is using it for his stupid selfish needs. it’s also been stated that doug is restricted by his contract with the CEO and could just straight up not be able to make videos if he stepped out of turn, so while i wish he would use his walkout power more, he doesn’t have as much power as some people attribute to him. he’s complicit in abuse but i don’t think that’s the same as being abusive? the producers themselves seem to go back and forth about how they feel about him but a recurring theme is that he’s tragically ignorant of abuse, but not on the same level of abusive as michaud, if they call him abusive at all (most just seem to feel betrayed by him).

additionally, almost all creators who have worked with him in the past couple of years, have stated they had generally positive experiences with the network, even the ones who are now leaving. the only thing that seems to remain an issue is the awful, awful PR (that apology sucked, i criticized it myself) and the lack of communication towards anybody not chicago-based. i feel they need to ditch michaud (which probably won’t be easy, since he’s a shady capitalist fuck), formally apologize and maybe provide compensation for past producers who were abused by the higher-ups, and either improve relations or just restrict everything to NC, because at this point that’s the only show that’s going to be left if they don’t get their shit together anyway. but i do think that if they just take the easy solution of apologizing, even though it’s already way too late and they royally fucked themselves over, things can be a little better.

i’m also not against criticizing doug for not speaking out, because the least he could do is apologize at least privately and i’ve even emailed him imploring him to do at least that (i don’t expect a response though lmao). i just get hurt at people attacking the show and movies as being terrible and something no fan should like. a lot of people really attached to the series before this blew up, and for the most part the content of the show doesn’t reflect the behind-the-scenes issues.

i’m spreading relevant information on twitter regarding abuse and producers’ feelings, but so many people (obviously not the producers, but the fans/haters) involved in this are more concerned with just shitting on doug bc they don’t like him and a lot are trying to make him out as worse than he is. i want to spread what the producers say because i trust them, but i’m wary of fans who seem to just be in it for the drama or bc they never liked NC and they wanna spite people who did (yes, those people exist, they mocked me on kiwifarms).

i know this isn’t about me, but i’ve invested a lot of money and time and emotional energy in the show, it’s introduced me to new friends, and it’s been directly and indirectly responsible for some of my highest and lowest points of the past year and a half. my comfort ship has been very helpful in helping my loneliness. it gave me something to look forward to every day. not to pull the autism card, but it’s difficult for me to drop a special interest very easily and i’m jealous of people who can. i need time to grow entirely out of it if i can.

but even still, i haven’t watched a NC episode in weeks, even the new ones, due to my discomfort and shame towards the show and network (only NC thing i watched lately was the hyper q&a, which is on tamara’s channel, and i used it to fall asleep). i unsubscribed, and i really i only care about a few aspects of the show anyway.

if you want to hate me because i can’t immediately remove NC from my heart then fine, but if so, just unfollow me. i don’t want people to not post NC criticism, and i fully endorse spreading relevant information because i care about the victims and i want them to receive justice. i just want hate tagged so i, personally, do not have to be constantly reminded that a show that is/was close to my heart has so many awful things behind it, even if i’m not sure if i still love it anymore. and while i have been a bit guilt-trippy in the past i’ve been confronted on that already and i’m trying not to come across that way, and i’m sorry for having been manipulative at all. i’m paranoid about being abandoned and hated just for having watched this show but unless you’re like, a super close friend of mine, you can unfollow any time you want.

#answers #this is WAY TOO LONG i spent too much time on this #but i needed to address this #i rly rly rly hope i didnt misspeak on this hhhh #Anonymous #nostalgia critic #im not against criticism bc ive said shit on my own #im not even against ppl making fun of it i just dont wanna see it #channel awesome

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clnriswood · 7 years ago

Photo

KAI PARKER X READER

I’ll be good

Request(s):

could you write a kai imagine where he is mean/ pusher the human reader away bc he is afraid to hurt her.. she distance herself and gets kidnapped by a enemy of kai, he hurts her physically and eventually kai finds her all bruised up but it's too late ( this imagine could be inspired on the song i'll be good by jaymes young - the lyrics of this song totally fits in and besides that it's a great sad song hahahah)

just wanted to say that your blog is amazing!! could you write a imaginewhere kai and reader have a discution and he tells her she never meant anything to him..a enemy of kai kidnaps her and beat her up leaving her with serious injuries(physical abuse/ rape) as revenge on kai.. kai and the mf gang eventually finds the reader and kai heals her but never forgive himself for putting the only one who he evered truly cared in this situation * if you dont feel ok ab the rape thing just ignore it

The bitter wind snapped at her bare skin, hair a flurry around her paled face, hands shaking with cold. It was late, almost midnight in Mystic Falls, and every human had receded indoors and to safety by now, except for her. At this time, the town would run rampant with rage filled vampires, wolves, witches, and any other imaginable creature, and though normal people grew accustomed to cover up stories and continued lies by the police, she knew better. She knew this because she knew him, loved, him, even. Her hands bundled beneath her navy coat for warmth, lips chapping with every second.

“Kai!” she chattered for the millionth time that night.

He’d ignored for a week now, but the heretic was stupid if he thought that would stop her from finding him. She was nearing the edge of the woods now, the town glowing and blurring faintly from behind her.

“Kai!” she hollered again.

She gasped out as a hand reached from behind her and grabbed at her mouth, her body coming slamming into someone’s chest. She screamed against their palm and thrashed against them, but when she caught a scent of his cool dark cologne, and the feeling of his skin, relaxed under his grip.

“Malachai,” she breathed as he pulled away and spun to face her, his blue eyes sunken and lacking their usual glow.

“What was that for?” she shoved him playfully, teeth chattering.

“To show you how easy it is to grab an unsuspecting girl and have her neck snapped in under two seconds,” he said seriously.

He was covered in thick layers, a black cloak and grey scarf, and his brown hair was messy and undone over his forehead.

“I can handle myself,” she fired back, her brows knitting.

“Sure,” he sighed, chewing at his lower lip with agitation.

He raised a hand when he saw her shivering, an orange bubble of glowing warmth emerging from his fingertips and surrounding them both, enclosing them in a toasty sphere of safety.

“Thanks,” she smiled, instantly feeling calmer from his magic.

He just stared at her with those icy blue eyes.

“Kai, hey, what’s wrong? You’ve been ignoring me for ages, I’m worried about you,” she said quietly.

“Yeah well I’ve been a little busy staking vampires,” he muttered coolly.

“A couple bad guys show up, and suddenly I don’t exist?” she laughed sarcastically. “God, don’t make me sound like that girlfriend, but...I miss you, okay? I want to be with you. Because as scary and messed up this situation is, I know it’ll be a lot less scary and messed up if I have you,” she rambled passionately, pulling her hair behind her ears.

“(Y/N), about that,” he started.

She raised her eyebrows, not liking that uncertain look on his usually radiant face.

“You’re not....you’re not going to have me,” he said, so softly she almost missed it.

“What?”

“I can’t do this anymore,” he said, more surely this time.

“I-I don’t, wh-what are you talking about?” she stuttered, her heart sinking, instantly feeling cold again, despite the fact that she was still safe from the wind and freeze.

“This is the last time I’m going to see you,” he said, a statement and not a question.

“I don’t-why?!” she continued, feeling a crushing weight fall against her heart, her vision blurring.

“Because it has to be that way,” he said, rubbing at his temples.

But the words escaping his lips were so forced and unnatural that she simply refused them.

“No. Kai, look at me,” she said, pulling his wrists down and lacing her fingers around his skin.

He dragged his pained gaze down to her, biting at his cheeks and refusing the tears that clawed for freedom from his eyes.

“Hey, look at me,” she cooed again, bring her palms to either side of his face and holding him still, her thumb brushing over his stubble. “Talk to me,” she begged, “be honest with me, please. You know I’m always here for you.”

But when he looked in her sad eyes and at her dried lips, it took everything within him to hold away from her.

“I love you, Malachai,” she said, a tear hitting her cheek as she swallowed the lump in her throat.

She bent forward slowly, craving for his mouth, but before she could reach him, felt his breath on her face, “I don’t.”

Her hands dropped, “what?”

“I don’t love you.”

And this time she knew she really lost him, and it hurt her so much but she didn’t want to show him that she was breaking, that her every effort went into remembering how to breathe.

His voice lowered, “ I don’t, and I never will. Now leave.”

Suddenly the sadness was replaced by a hot spark in her chest, and she screamed as she pushed him.

“YOU’RE LYING.”

“I’m not,” he responded quietly.

“I know you’re holding back, I don’t know why, but this isn’t you,” she shoved him again, her lip quivering.

“I don’t, l-” he began robotically.

“STOP LYING!” she screeched, tears pouring down her face as she fought him, to which he hardly budged, he just stood there, taking it all.

“Are you done?” he breathed when she stepped back, her eyes red and raw.

She wiped at her eyes with a scoff and a look up and down the heretic, “you know what, I think I am.”

She turned on her heel and stomped through the dried leaves under her shoes, the cold instantly snapping back at her flesh. She threw a glance over her shoulder, and was unsurprised to see an empty clearing, no sign that Kai had been there only a moment ago. Once she saw she was alone, she froze in her tracks and let out a half scream half sob, her hair clinging to the moisture on her face, throat raw from the sound, suddenly wishing for everything around her to cease to exist. She dragged her feet through the soil as she fought for oxygen, and had lost track of how long she’d been crying when she saw the light of her home nearby. The girl shoved her hands in her pocket as she drew closer, hardly yelping when out of nowhere, a set of hands went slinking around her from her backside.

“Stop it, Kai,” she kicked her heels out.

A hand went over her mouth, but she didn’t feel any cold silver rings, didn’t smell any dark cologne, and suddenly her heart plummeted in her chest.

“Kai?” she trembled into the stranger’s skin.

There was a sudden whoosh, and a second later, she was faced to a creature with crackling black eyes and creeping dark veins forming a network on their faces.

“Come with me,” they commanded.

She tugged gently at the necklace Kai had given to her, the gold vial filled with vervain.

“Okay,” she feigned compulsion, her head spinning.

I was wrong. I need you. I love you. Find me. Please, Kai. I was wrong. I need you.

The thoughts circulated in her head, but as she went to scream at the top of her lungs for him, a set of fangs went burrowing into her neck, and she collapsed into a sea of black vision.

. . .

She was lying on the ground in the woods, body sprawled over the grass, hair a halo around her colorless face. A patch of ruby red blood stained her neck, head lulled to the side, another wound on her wrist, her arms and legs bruised and bashed. Kai Parker dashed over the fallen branches, heart exploding from his chest.

“God no, please, oh god,” he wailed, collapsing beside her, tears pouring all down his face, his whole body shaking violently.

“Can’t bre-” he gasped with a choke for air as he felt a panic attack drawing in as he scooped the girl into his arms.

“Wake up, baby, wake up,” he brushed his fingers over her still warm skin.

She looked so angelic and peaceful that any other situation would’ve posed her as a gorgeous and sleeping girl, but not this time. He felt for her pulse, which was so weak it barely managed a little thrum against him.

He cursed and tore at the flesh on his wrist, forcing his open wound against her slightly parted lips.

“Drink, sweetheart, come on,” he begged, the pain so intense upon him that everything whirred in his vision.

“Too late,” a voice said from behind the heretic.

He pulled his hand away, tucking her hair gently back the way he always did and examining the blood around her mouth, but she didn’t move. Kai stood slowly, turning to face the man who stood across from him. His mouth was still drenched with her blood, his eyes the warm golden color of a freshly fed vampire.

“You did this,” Kai trembled, his hands shaking.

“You let me,” he taunted.

“YOU PROMISED!” Kai screamed at the top of his lungs, his salty tears catching on his trembling lips.

He caught his breath, his face scrunching, “you promised you wouldn’t hurt her, if I let her go.”

The vampire gave a smirk as three more of his kind materialized behind him, followed by two more female witches.

“You were too much of a threat,” the man continued cooly. “I mean a vampire, werewolf, and heretic all in one, come on!?” he chuckled. “But we figured it out,” he laughed, taking a step closer, “that the only way to break you…”

Kai took in a ragged breath, which formed a cloud of mist in front of his pale face and trembling lips, “don’t.”

“Was to break her,” he finished.

Kai let out a piercing scream into the starry sky, instantly sending out a blast of magic and setting fire to one of the vampires, who wailed as he burned under the heretic’s magic.

“You think I was bad before,” Kai raised a hand, the deathly terrifying glare settling over his face, his eyes crackling with warning, “you were wrong.”

Both witches raised their hands and promptly exploded into a sea of blood, their bodies crashing to the grass as Kai sent holes through their skin, speeding over to one of them and ripping her throat out without second thought, dark veins creeping under his eyes, sharp fangs protruding out. The second vampire sped at Kai, who sent his fist through his stomach and out the other side, taking a moment to watch him cry out before plunging his fingers into his chest and pulling out a throbbing heart, which he threw over the ground with a snarl. He didn’t even flinch as he beheaded the third vampire who’d tried attacking from behind, Kai’s hand slapping him in two with one clean swipe. He smirked and gave a chuckles as he wiped his sleeve at the mess of blood on his face.

His black eyes flickered up, “not so tough without them, are you?”

The vampire growled and had Kai flipped to his back in seconds, foot to his chest. The heretic’s eyes flashed as he grabbed a branch from the ground and plunged it into the man above him, who howled and stumbled back. Kai raised a hand decorated in those silver rings and vanished into thin air, his enemy poised. He appeared behind him, reaching for the man’s heart and gasping out when he felt a shot of vervain hit his system, instantly crumpling down with a gasp.

“I wanted the last thing you heard before you died to be her screaming, but she tasted so good, I guess I couldn’t help myself,” he flashed his teeth, plucking a branch from the ground.

“She’s still got a little left in there,” he continued, “a real thrasher, that one. So I guess I’ll have to suffice with her hearing you scream,” he raised the pointed tool to the star speckled sky.

Kai brought a hand to his chest with a pained smirk.

“You were right, about being afraid of me. I’m a heretic, wolf, and vampire. There’s so much magic there, it’s almost like, vervain or no vervain, I never run out,” he laughed weakly.

The vampire raised a brow, noticing the orange glow of Kai’s self siphon too late, “don-”

And Kai kicked him off his feet, sending him to the ground and drawing slits in the air the created gashes all over his body.

“I want you to hurt like you hurt her,” he said, a fresh wave of tears rolling down his cheeks.

He bent over and slashed a set of his nails down the vampire’s stomach, rejoicing in his cries of pain.

“Stop-” he begged.

But Kai kept going, relishing in every moment he slowly drained the man, giving him just enough time to recover and heal before doing it all over again, his front and twisted face splattered crimson.

“Kai,” came a quiet voice.

His hand dropped suddenly, face falling, “(Y/N)?”

When the vampire beneath him shifted, he crushed his heart in an instant, silencing him for good before rushing over to his girlfriend. Her eyes were barely opened, her breath shaky and shallow.

“Oh my god,” Kai panicked silently, scooping her into his arms and cradling her face, “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she mumbled quietly, “you were just...trying to keep me safe.”

“But I should’ve known you’d be stubborn,” he laughed weakly, his tears spilling onto her face, his eyes regaining their natural blue glow and sparkle.

She gave a weak little laugh, “got that from you, Kai.”

He laughed and pressed his forehead to hers, his tears spilling down and mingling with her own, “what did I do to deserve you?”

She gave a little smile as she pressed her lips to the bridge of his nose, “you gave me something worth living for.”

“Don’t,” he nuzzled himself tighter into her as he held her close. “I’m not the man you should want. God, (Y/N), look at me,” he breathed.

She tilted his chin up with her fingertips, back still to the cold ground, the wind and chill numbing, staring at the heretic who was stained in the blood of those he’d killed. But she didn’t see a monster, just someone who’d been hurt too long to be given a chance.

“But I am. And I see my whole world.”

He shook his head, “Everything I’ve done has only hurt people. And I’m so sorry, for the light I shut out, the bruises I’ve caused, and all the things I’ve done,” he wept. He brushed his fingers over her skin, his silver rings to her cheek as she stared up at him with bleary and unfocused eyes. “I’ve been cold a-and merciless...and the blood on my hands scares me to death,” he whimpered.

She just shook her head, “Kai-”

She gave a sudden little shiver, a raspy cough coming from her throat as she shook forward in his arms.

“No, no, no,” he begged,” pressing his wrist to her mouth again and biting down on his lower lip. “I’ll be good,” he promised. “Don’t do this, sweetheart, stay with me.”

Her lips stained ruby, but she wasn’t healing, wouldn’t move, and her breath stilled.

“I’ll be good,” he cried again, dropping a kiss to her forehead, “for all the times I never could.”

Kai cradled her and locked one arm under her back, and another behind her neck, holding her like she were the only thing in the world that was keeping him from simply dissolving into nothingness, the only thing bringing him that light which fought through even the darkest parts of himself. He brought her so tightly to him, breathing in her smell and pressing his mouth gently to her skin, her body like that for so long that he didn’t notice the blood on her skin drying up, her wounds closing, the bruises on her skin fading into nothingness. They sat bathed in the white moonlight and starry sky, their world a mess around them, but her words came and brought him back, just like they always did.

“You’ve always been good enough for me, Malachai Parker.”

a/n: If you liked this but want an ending where the reader doesn’t make it, you can read part 8 of my kai fic, ‘bruises,’ here!

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janiedean · 8 years ago

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Do you believe in the statement "Islam is a religion of peace"? I think it's a ridiculous statement and I'm sick of people repeating it over and over. Saying it doesn't make it true. I have NOTHING against Muslims as people but the Koran is no better than the Bible when it comes to violence and pretending otherwise is just ridiculous to me. I came across a gifset the other day of a Muslim woman insisting that Islam is "the most feminist religion of all" and it just doesn't make sense to me.

man you’re talking to an atheist so obviously my answer is biased, and I read the bible but not the koran (I read bits not all of it) so my opinion is what it is, but:

given that I think that the bush jr policy of demonizing islam post sept 11th was the dumbest shit he could have done and I’m happily blaming that for 90% of the mess we’re in today and that I don’t think islam is inherently more violent than christianity given that as you said violence in holy books is about that same level

and given that a lot of the koran has been (purposefully or not) misquoted to justify terrorism/fight against terrorism

and given that 90% of the parts of the sharia law we find more abhorrent (ie the ones condemning lgbt+ people, allowing child brides and so on) aren’t actually in the koran but are holy because some interpreters who were also holy men declared them so so a lot of it is - as with christianity - stuff added by the organized part of the religion (like, there isn’t ONE line in the bible openly condemning abortion unless you don’t interpret the sermon of the mount in a specific way but honestly, but according to the catholic church and christianity in its worst incarnations abortion is A SIIIINNNN)

I also think that everyone automatically tries to delete the worst parts of the religion they believe in and the likes and at the same time it’s really hard to question things you were taught since the day you were born. and going like yES BUT THIS LINE IN THE BOOK SAYS THIS doesn’t mean anything because another says the contrary ten pages after and a lot of religious ppl in general haven’t even read either the koran (see: a lot of isis recruits) or the bible (see: most people who tell me that if I read it I’ll convert, then I tell them I did and if they remember the dismembered concubine from the book of kings and they fall from the clouds. aha) and they tend to stick to the parts that are *safer*. ie for christianity everyone moderate says it’s all about the best parts of the gospel (and no one ever remembers my two favorite bits ie when jesus told people who *went around talking in his stead* that he didn’t know them from adam and when he said to one of the two thieves crucified next to him that he had a place in heaven with him hahahahhahahahaha) and never about the worst parts of them or of the old testament (for one, did you know that with the plagues of egypt the pharaoh refused to let moses go because god directly influenced him because he wanted to show how much more powerful he was in comparison to the pharaoh’s false gods, because the poor guy actually would have let moses leave after the sixth plague? YEAH I DIDN’T UNTIL I READ IT EITHER) same as a lot of moderate muslims focus on the best parts of the koran like the peace message and so on and ignore the worst.

now, personally I think that religious books are written in such a way that you can find anything and its contrary inside them. the bible is BOTH old and new testament but even if you decide that the old doesn’t matter because you only follow jesus’s teachings, okay, paul in some of his letters says exactly the contrary of what jesus meant but paul’s letters are in the NT and no one’s taking them out yet. st. augustine is one of the church’s Fathers with the capital F but he came up with predestination (which is a thing that is absolutely not in the NT) and the catholic church ignores it because it eventually rejected that vision. and so on. it’s not surprising that moderate muslims see their religion as a religion of peace and the jihadists use it to fuel terrorism because both interpretations have their valid points. if you’re moderate and want to say muslim religion is peaceful you have your quotes, if you’re not you have others. and so on. so like, I personally think that since to me it’s all about stuff that doesn’t exist it’s all very ridiculous and I honestly can’t conceive killing themselves in the name of someone whose existence you cannot prove never mind that it’s basically the same God just with a different name and a different theological interpretation so like, wtf guys. I don’t think any religion is inherently peaceful or warmongering, I think people make of it what they want and that you need it separated from the state in any case because if that doesn’t happen it’s always going to coincide with someone’s political interests and fanatics will breed more easily.

re the feminism, I have issues in that sense and maybe a clearer opinion tho that might be that there’s things I cannot chalk to cultural relativism to justify, but like: it’s true that in theory islam is not... well, anti-women at its core because let’s all remember that in the middle ages muslim women on paper were better off than europeans unless my high school books lied about that, but it’s true that a lot of the **sharia** law mentioned above is NOT fucking feminist - whatever you mean with it - and I’m honestly... I mean, I get cultural relativism, but like let’s just take the veil. in theory if it’s an imposition it’s not even valid because you have to choose to wear it and it’s all good, but do people choose to wear it in countries like idk taliban afghanistan? do people have a choice about it when it’s not just the veil but covering your whole damned body and you can’t touch someone else’s hand without your husband’s permission? and saying that it’s also valid for men makes me lol because I haven’t seen men under a burqa yet. like everyone has the rights to choose what they wear or not, but when it’s de-humanizing like that (bc burqas are de-humanizing to me sorry) and it’s people who have been taught since they were born that they have to wear it... is that a choice? and like, yeaaah in saudi arabia eight year old girls can marry people thrice their age and if I have a vagina I can’t drive a car, but that’s feminist? like where I teach, one morning each week it’s just women and only women can teach because some don’t/won’t come if men are attending as well and won’t be taught by male teachers. and like... I understand they do it because otherwise they don’t come, but I feel really iffy about accommodating a thing that to me is out of this freaking universe, especially because you get veiled women coming to regular class without a problem. shit like that imo is just backwards and the fact that it happened here fifty years ago as well means that while I won’t judge muslim countries too harshly on that sense... well, we moved past it and we have equality on paper, shouldn’t they have it too? (admittedly I don’t think attaching ideologies to any religion is a good idea because what the hell does FEMINIST RELIGION even mean, catholics are crazy when it comes to worshipping mary so they’re also feminists?? and religion are used to prop up other ideologies every other day so like.... I’m iffy on that period) so on that topic I honestly can’t agree but because I don’t agree that religions are inherently any -ism.

tldr: I think everyone picks and chooses when it comes to religions so saying that it’s THIS OR THAT is ridiculous (christianity from the westboro baptists is not catholicism to say one and they have the same holy book) and that you need to separate them from politics before doing any kind of this discourse. I also don’t agree with this policy of ‘since bush jr policy was BASHING ON ISLAM FOR EVERYTHING’ now we have to do the contrary and ‘EXCUSE ISLAM FOR EVERYTHING’ because it doesn’t help - you have to condemn the bad apples of the bunch and not alienate the good ones, and that means also criticizing where it’s due.

I mean, ffs, it was on the news here the other day but some girl in bologna who came from a muslim family who didn’t want to wear the veil was forcefully shaved by her mother (like shaved all her hair) and she told her teachers saying she didn’t want to live with them anymore because they were pushing the veil and the religion on her and she didn’t want that, and now she’s with the social services. she’s fourteen. that’s feminist? I don’t... really think so. and the fact that I’m atheist and I don’t get it from the pov of a religious person doesn’t mean that I can’t say it’s fucked up when it’s fucked up.

#religion for ts #like I'm all for people finding their balance and ignore the least progressive stuff in their holy books #but like let's not justify the whole bunch of information pls #because some is fucked up and always will be #anyway pls don't throw rotten tomatoes at me you asked I replied xD #obv not you but i just came from a fairly exhausting fb discussion on the atheism topic #and tbh i'm too exhausted to go into that shit #Anonymous #ask post

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phiiltatcs-archive · 8 years ago

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wow i don’t think i’ve gotten salty on this blog yet, but it was only a matter of time...

this is a little talk i’d like to call: pat is soft & this is ok, or ‘why the discourse about tsoa!pat vs. iliad!pat is a load of bullshit’

EDITED 18/2/17

for starters, i don’t know where people are getting the idea that iliad!pat is some superhuman warrior who spends the entire poem covered in the blood of his enemies. bc he doesn’t, guys. he doesn’t.

a lot of the discourse about tsoa seems to be about miller changing patroclus’ character in order to make patrochilles adhere to the gender binary, w/ achilles as the “man” & pat as the “woman” in the relationship.

which is, frankly, a sexist af accusation to make.

it implies that bc patroclus prefers not to fight & bc he’s gentle, that somehow makes him “less of a man” than achilles -- who, it should be noted, isn’t exactly a stereotypical picture of masculinity, either.

news flash for all y’all, patroclus’ character in tsoa isn’t really that different from his character in the iliad. i’m starting to seriously think that some of the people bashing tsoa for “inaccuracies” haven’t actually read homer.

“but iliad!patroclus was a badass warrior!” to that i say, iliad!patroclus doesn’t do much of anything until book 16, when he dons achilles’ armor & leads the myrmidons to battle. prior to that, he’s mainly seen hanging around w/ achilles, listening to him play the lyre, doing chores around the camp, etc.

y’know, being his therapón. miller didn’t just make that up.

i don’t really know why some people are so adamantly against tsoa!pat when in the iliad, we don’t see patroclus fight at all until book 16. there’s no evidence that he doesn’t fight, but there’s really nothing to prove that he does or that his skills are in any way comparable to the other heroes.

in book 11, he does have a discussion w/ nestor (who gives him the advice that will later get him killed) & i want to quote directly from this scene for a moment, bc some of y’all need to see this:

‘My child, / Achilles is nobler than you with his immortal blood / but you are older. He has more power than you, by far, / but give him sound advice, guide him, even in battle. / Achilles will listen to you -- for his own good.’

- 11.938-942, Fagles translation

for anyone unfamiliar with the scene, nestor is quoting what patroclus’ father told him before they left for troy. essentially, menoetius said that patroclus' most important task is to advise achilles. that’s primarily what patroclus does.

& that’s ok.

as achilles’ therapón, patroclus is a friend, an advisor, & a brother-in-arms all in one. now, please explain to me what’s so terrible about miller focusing on the advising aspect of patroclus’ position over the fighting aspect when that’s what homer did, too.

another complaint i often see is about patroclus being a war medic in tsoa. “patroclus didn’t know medicine!” i see people say. um. y’all might want to look at the iliad again. same book, just fifty lines or so later.

“Save me at least. Take me back to my black ship. / Cut this shaft from my thigh. And the dark blood -- / wash it out of the wound with clear warm water. / And spread the soothing, healing salves across it, / the powerful drugs they say you learned from Achilles / and Chiron the most humane of Centaurs taught your friend.”

- 11.989-994, Fagles translation

patroclus was skilled in medicine, guys. your argument is invalid.

also, how does pat being a war medic somehow make him less badass? that IS badass. he doesn’t need to be slaughtering people to make a difference in the war, & to suggest that he does is all sorts of sexist. that sort of interpretation of the text is what’s pushing the gender binary, not miller’s narrative.

& another thing -- neither of these texts say that pat is a bad warrior. he’s just not good in comparison to achilles (which makes sense, given that achilles is the best) & some of the others.

people say that miller made patroclus weak & then did a character 180 during the battle scene, where he suddenly became a great warrior. no. he was capable of that the whole time, that’s part of the point. here, have an excerpt:

“Chiron’s dark eyes moved to rest on mine. ‘You will never gain fame from your fighting. Is this surprising to you?’

His tone was matter-of-fact, and somehow that eased the string of it.

‘No,’ I said truthfully.

‘Yet it is not beyond you to be a competent soldier. Do you wish to learn this?’

I thought of the boy’s dulled eyes, how quickly his blood had soaked the ground. I thought of Achilles, the greatest warrior of his generation. I thought of Thetis, who would take him from me if she could.

‘No,’ I said.

And that was the end of our lessons in soldiery.”

- The Song of Achilles, pg. 91

he’s not terrible. he could even be great, if he wanted to. he doesn’t want to. & that’s ok. part of his problem is low self-confidence, which is understandable, given the way miller portrays menoetius early in the book. the other part? he’s genuinely traumatized by his murder of the boy, which was an accident in both texts. he didn’t mean to kill the kid, it wasn’t that iliad!pat was such a badass child that he’d just straight-up kill people over dice games (& yes, i’ve seen people say that & celebrate it as some sort of accomplishment, which has me all sorts of ???).

“Never bury my bones apart from yours, Achilles, / let them lie together... / just as we grew up together in your house, / after Menoetius brought me there from Opois, / and only a boy, but banished for bloody murder / the day I killed Amphidamus’ son. I was a fool -- / I never meant to kill him -- quarreling over a dice game.”

23.100-106, Fagles translation

he doesn’t like killing. if that makes him too “feminine” for your liking, i’m sorry, i’m gonna have to roll my eyes. he doesn’t need to be slaughtering something on every page to be relevant during the war, or to be relevant to achilles, or generally to be a fantastic goddamn character.

when patroclus leads the myrmidons to battle, it’s out of his desire to help others, to save his friends -- which is a quality that is central to his character. that makes him badass, imo. & it’s not a character 180, bc adrenaline is a thing & he’s actively trying to impersonate achilles. nobody knows the difference, in either text. he plays the part. & he plays it well.

at the end of the day, homer’s patroclus has one purpose & one purpose only: to die. he’s central to the plot, but ONLY bc he dies. he brings achilles back to battle. this is half the reason i’m so amused by complaints about miller’s portrayal -- she gives him a voice & fills in gaps & has made people care about an otherwise under-appreciated character. & y’all wanna complain bc he’s a nice guy, ok.

so yeah. patroclus can fight. he kicks some trojan ass in book 16. he could have taken the city if apollo hadn’t intervened. it takes three people, including a god, to take him out. that’s great. i’m not saying that it isn’t. patroclus is capable of being a damn good warrior, which miller acknowledges. his characterization isn’t solely “oh, i love achilles so much” & i don’t know where people are getting that from.

he does love achilles. but he’s also 120% fine with telling him when he’s being an idiot. he’s EQUALS with achilles. achilles never views patroclus as lesser than himself. patroclus is the one achilles looks to for advice, whether he listens or not. in turn, patroclus is protective as fuck, not only of achilles, but of briseis & the other girls, & of the other greeks. he’s loyal to achilles, but willing to go against him if he feels that it’s necessary. he gives zero fucks about saying what he thinks (to odysseus, especially) & he risks his life every day during the war as a medic. which is dangerous, & i dare you to tell me that it isn’t.

in both texts, it isn’t achilles who comes to the rescue of the greeks. it’s his therapón, who acts primarily out of pity & partially out of guilt -- he knows that the greeks are dying because of achilles, & he deliberately disobeys achilles’ orders because he feels it’s the right thing to do. if hubris is achilles’ fatal flaw, then patroclus’ is selflessness.

patroclus is all of these things. & he’s also soft. he’s gentle. he hates to fight & he loves achilles more than anything in the world.

& that doesn’t make him “weak” or “effeminate” & i’m getting really sick of seeing that argument when the iliad’s portrayal of him isn’t really drastically different.

*mike drop*

tl;dr: there’s really no proof in the iliad that patroclus was the badass killing machine that so many people seem to think he was. everything miller does with the character has basis in homer’s canon, & just because patroclus is gentle & prefers not to fight, that doesn’t make him “weak” or infantilize the character in any way. his gentleness is what makes him badass -- in a story about war and hubris, patroclus’ selflessness is ultimately what saves the greeks from destruction.

#[ i am a salt mine ]#; out of memories ( mun )#; mine #( meta )#; i am made of memories ( about )

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