#bc they're too stupid to see what's right in front of their faces

[tinylilacbun]

I love your fics and was wondering if u could request a fic with little!reader and Sofia and rafe

Where reader sees rafe getting angry at someone and she runs to Sofia scard bc she isn’t used to seeing him like that and Sofia and rafe have to calm her down and comfort her ?🙏🏼

You three are at a party to try and enjoy the evening after the Enduro race earlier where Rafe revved into JJ's bike, luckily not getting hurt.

But since that, Rafe has been a little on edge, obviously keeping it at bay for the sake of you and Sofia, now holding a bottle of beer in his hand, his one arm around your chest, your back pressed into his front while Sofia is at his side.

She pulls away and Rafe's arm around her waist falls back against his side. "I'll get a refill, you need one too?"

Rafe nods, leaning down to give her a quick kiss, watching her walk off he wraps his free arm now around your front as well, his chin resting on top of your head.

You are actually enjoying yourself, a little tired but still singing along to the current song playing, with a smile on your face. All until a couple walks past you and Rafe, glancing at you weirdly before starting to gossip.

"I heard they're both dating a pogue." The girl says to her boyfriend and it instantly gets Rafe's attention, the hold on the bottle tight as he narrows his eyes at the pair.

"Yeah, not to mention that Y/n and Rafe are rumoured to be involved in Peterkin's murder..." The boy replied.

You jumped when Rafe's voice boomed through the room. "The fuck did you just say?"

The couple turns around, their eyes widening as Rafe pulls away from you to approach them. You hold onto his arm to try and stop him but he wouldn't let their stupid comment slide.

"Nothing, we just-" One of them stammers and Rafe lets out a dangerous chuckle.

"Nah, repeat what you just said about me and my girls, go on. Say it right in my face." He challenges them, patting his cheek for emphasis and you shrink in on yourself, not liking it when people raise their voice, since your father used to yell at you when he was drunk.

Not knowing what to do you run to get Sofia, trying to push back the tears as you search for the kitchen. Finally finding it you are already sniffling, rushing to stand beside Sofia and she quickly sets down the drinks she is holding to grab your arms to ground you.

"Hey, what's wrong?" She asks, worry etched across her face at your distressed state.

"R-Rafey s'mad..." You choke out, your hands trembling in front of you. The fact you used the nickname let's Sofia know that you're starting to regress but are still trying to stay big in public.

She sighs, pressing a kiss to your forehead she grabs your hand and starts walking to where she had left you and Rafe, reassuring you on the way there. "I'll handle this, yeah? Just stay close to me."

You both join the scene and Sofia hurries to stand between Rafe and the guy he is about to lunge at from the look in his eyes but luckily you both got there in time.

"Rafe, calm down." Sofia speaks up, wanting to draw his focus on her. "Hey, look at me, now."

The tone of her voice has Rafe looking down at her, his breathing ragged from anger. "They're talking shit about us-"

"Let them be, it's not worth it." She says, glancing at you for a moment and back up at him. "You're scaring her..."

At that, Rafe turns his attention to you, seeing the way tears are brimming in your eyes and how you're nibbling on your nails, completely overwhelmed with the situation.

"Let's go." He grumbles, his arm going around your waist while Sofia is still holding your hand. Glaring one last time at the couple he steers you out of the house, his hold on your waist firm as you walk towards the car.

Your sniffles are the only thing being heard in the thick silence and Rafe stops to pull you into his chest, a hand on the back of your head, the other stroking your back to soothe you.

"Shh, you're okay. I shouldn't have raised my voice..." He murmurs into your hair, watching Sofia wipe the tears gently from your face and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. "I'm not mad at you, y'know that right?"

You nod against his chest, closing your eyes you feel Sofia squeezing your hand assuringly. "He deserves early bedtime for that, don't you think sweetie?"

You smile at that, letting out a quiet giggle. Rafe shakes his head with a smirk, muttering under his breath. "Unbelievable. Can't a man defend his wonderful girlfriends?"

"Not the way you did, that's for sure. So, stop complaining or you'll sleep on the couch as well." Sofia warns him with a raise of her eyebrows, moving to open the car door for you.

Taglist

For everything:

@my-river-lilly @pauntedblacknails @fanfictioniseverything @devilslilbabysblog @buckymydarlingangel @hallecarey1 @daybreakwinter @loveshineslikethesky @wandaslittlewhore @vase-of-lilies @white-wolf1940 @simpingbutch @mischiefsemimanaged @alina02 @teddybearsgrr @doozywoozy @angelbabydoll28 @glxwingrxse @lilymurphy03 @veryvaughnny @lokigirlszendaya @youngstarfishdinosaur @little--baby--bear @minideathgoddess @rach2602 @gh0stgurl @flourishandblotts-inc @lovelyy-moonlight @yoruse

@mythixmagic @iris-xoxo-juhu

For Rafe:

@chiaraanatra @chimindity @erikasurfer

[quantum1mmortality]

Ok so I was thinking about a smut with a leech and wanted to ask you to do (i love how u write)

What about a AFAB!reader that likes to open her mouth and sometimes you do it without realizing it.

I read somewhere that eels have it like an invitation to mate or something like that (dont remember so much)

And about if is jade or floyd… well, both are my favs so I cant choose. What works better I guess

EEK TYSM!!! I feel as tho floyd would fit this better bc jade is a smart boy, probs knows that humans just open their mouths wide for random shit but floyd

...

Hes a lil stupid when it comes to these things(I love him I swear)

10/10, would fuck in the VIP room again

-floyd probably lmao(also the name of the fic)

♧CW!!! fem reader, breeding kink yas slay, unsafe sex(wear condoms kids), degrading(? Floyd calls us a slut for yawning around other men but he loves us 🤞), little to no foreplay hes too hawny, semi public sex, pwp?, mentions of jade but light, none that I can think of right now but floyd is such a silly little goose(im terrified of him)

NOT PROOFREAD

~~~~~~~~~~~~~♧♧~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

♧ you were originally here to study.

Seeing as your boyfriend, Floyd, was nowhere to be seen. Sitting in the mostro lounge while waiting for Floyd to be on break was a normal occurrence.

Since it had been awhile with slight glimpses of him taking care of customers, you decided to start studying on your own. Opening up a text book and starting to read and take notes, Jade comes over with your order.

"Apologies for my brother taking so long. The customers he has are being seriously rude, we're trying our best to have him not squish them." Jade says as he places your tea on the table in front of you.

"How long will he be?" You ask as you take a small sip of your tea. Jade rests his chin on his hand as he closes his eyes, seemingly in thought.

"Soon." He simply says as he walks away.

Although odd, you've gotten used to Jades strange behavior. As you were about to return to studying, you spotted Floyd waiting on the table across from you. He shoots you a smile before turning back to his customers.

You took that as a sign to go back to studying. Flipping open your text book, you begin to take notes again. As you get further into the book, your eyelids begin to feel heavy. Resting your head on your hand, you start to close your eyes for longer periods once blinking.

As you began to drift off to a light sleep, you felt yourself yawning as you began to shift in your chair.

Having finally settled in a comfortable position, you begin to get lulled into a peaceful sleep by the surround sound of calming music in the lounge.

Drifting off, you get woken up by a sudden loud noise. "Boo!" It was Floyd, creeping up behind you just to scare you awake. Playfully punching his chest as you complain about how you just fell asleep, he takes your hand, leading you off somewhere.

"Floyd, where are you taking me?" You say between giggles. "Somewhere, it'll be fun, I promise." He says as he gives you a wink.

He leads you to the VIP room, which usually isn't occupied by anyone, like now. Just the two of you. He turns around to lock the door, he turns back to you, eyes widened with an unpleasant look on his face.

"That thing you did out there, I cant believe you did it infront of other men. Do you understand what they may think now? Think im not your boyfriend? Think I dont treat you well enough?" Confusion. All you felt in the moment was pure confusion.

"Floyd, what the fuck are you talking about? I was just studying, nothing happened." You could tell he was getting frustrated. "That thing! Where you opened your mouth wide!"

"You mean yawning? The.... thing people do.... when they're tired?"

"You can't do that around merfolk." Oh. Oh? This seems like something you can tease him on.

"Oh? And whys that, Mr eel boy?" You say as you chuckle. Somehow, floyd got even more pissed at this, he slammed both your arms above you and against the wall behind you, eyes still wide, and very much angry.

"You don't understand what you're doing. You're making a mating invite by doing that, what if the other merfolk saw? Or worse, what if Jade saw?"

"Floyd im sorry okay, I didn't mean to, seriously-" you were cut off by him smashing his lips onto yours, you fed into it, not resisting in the slightest.

He began to sink his head down to your neck, making soft bites on it and licking up the semi bloody aftermath. "If you want to act like a slut, then I'll fuck you like one." He says before digging his open hend into the flesh of your thigh and biting down on your collar bone.

You choke out a groan at the sudden pain as floyd slowly kisses the bite, making it feel more pleasurable than anything.

Once hes done, he looks up at you. "You're okay with this, right?"

"Yeah, just don't do anything stupid." You're able to say between puffs of hot air. Giving you a smile, he hooks his finger under the strap of your panties, taking his other hand off your wrists. Sliding down the peice of fabric while biting off his glove, he starts to suck on your neck as he begins to work his fingers into you.

Taking his thumb and rubbing it over your clit as he slowly sinks two fingers inside you. You moan out as he begins to curl them in you, sucking on the bite mark you made earlier.

"F-fuck... I cant take it anymore." Floyd groans out as he unbuckles his belt. Lining up his thick cock with your hole, "You're sure you're okay with this, right?" He says one last time in a panted breath.

"Yes just... don't do anything stupid-" and you were cut off once again by him doing something stupid.

He thrusts his whole length into you at once, earning a low, throaty groan from him as you were just trying to find stability. He takes both you thighs and wraps them around his waist, being able to hit much deeper in the position.

Mere seconds later, all the pain you felt turned into pure, absolute pleasure as he started fucking you against the wall.

Filling the room with moans of utter bliss from the both of you, having Floyd come completely undone after minutes. "I'm gonna fill you up so fucking good- make everyone know you're mine- have those other eel bitches know if you're gonna be a slut, you're gonna be mine, understood?"

You're barely able to make his words out as you start to feel lightheaded from the pleasure. His grip on you tightens as you feel him twitch inside you. "Fuck, im gonna-" he was cut off by a powerful moan as he came inside you, slowing down his pace in the process.

Floyd slowly sinks down to the floor as he places you down on it, leaving you for a moment as he grabs a wash cloth. He starts to clean you in silence, waiting for you to say something. You were too tired to speak, however.

Once you're clean, he makes himself presentable again as he picks you up and walks you back to your table. Once he sets you down, he walks off and brings back a bottle of water and some snacks.

"Dont worry, they're on me." He says with a wink.

As he turns to walk away, you grab onto his sleeve to get his attention. He leans in close to hear you over the bustling crowd. "Floyd, I didn't get to fini-" he places his index finger over your mouth.

"Now, now, I didn't forget my dear, I promise. If you're good today then I'll double it tonight, hm?" And with that, he walks off and returns to his job where jade and azul kept yelling at him for bailing.

As you sit in silence while occasionally looking over at Floyd, he makes eye contact with you while being yelled at. Going back to you table, you realize something, your tea has gone cold.

Oh dear, whoever will you call over to replace it?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♧♧~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/n: i had no clue how to end this fic wiwhwihsiwow im going insane

[imrllytootiredforthis]

Do you have thoughts on himbo mingi? 😌(I want to breed him so bad)

i got lots of thoughts on himbo mingi-bc i too, want to breed him😌

poor boy doesn't know how to use his head all the time, it's a good thing he's so pretty.

at a bar or whatever else he's getting hit on by all of these people, but he doesn't realize it. he thinks they're just being friendly, biting their lips, eyes blatantly checking him out. one time, a woman even let her hands slide all over his body, down his chest and hips (he thought she was just a bit touchy-he's the same way🥺)

you leave him for a few minutes to grab the two of you drinks and you come back to him laughing with someone else-the girl almost sitting in his lap with how close she is, her hand resting on his bicep.

"mingi."

he looks up at you.

"mhm."

it's almost comical the way his eyes practically sparkle, his pupils heart-shaped. the adoration burning in his gaze apparent, almost overwhelming. puppy-dog like and adorable. the poor thing having no idea what's elicited the steel in your tone. his eyebrows furrow slightly and you can almost see the question mark floating above his head.

*sigh* it's a good thing he's so pretty.

"what's wrong?" he sounds almost sad now as he reaches for your wrist but you don't let him.

you know he'd never cheat on you, know that it would never even cross his mind. he's too obsessed by you, wrapped around your finger almost as much as you are his.

but it makes your blood boil seeing all of these people feeling him up, flirting with him all the while he's completely clueless.

the girl glares, clearly annoyed at the interruption as you pass him a cup.

"i have to go to the bathroom."

you turn on your heel and walk, knowing he's right behind you.

even as you lead him into a room that he's fairly (but not certainly) sure is not a bathroom. even as you lock the room behind you, crossing your arms against you chest as your foot taps on the ground.

you look unimpressed and the disappointment written across your face-it's enough to make a whimper build up in the back of his throat.

"what'd i do?"

he's so fucking clueless, it's dumb. so innocent and pretty. all beauty no brains.

you only sigh frustratedly, your hands flying to his shoulders, pressing down enough for him to fall to his knees in front of you. "what'd i do?" you mock, watching him look up at you like a kicked puppy.

anger flashes in your eyes and he knows he's in for it.

you reach down, grabbing his jaw in your hand, cupping it almost gently if not for the nails digging ever so slightly into his skin. "you're fucking mine. you hear that baby? mine." you spit, hot and angry and standing over him, fuck. he can't think properly like this.

he whimpers, hips almost imperceptibly grinding against your leg. enough for you to catch though, enough for you to press your leg harder between his spread open ones.

"say it. say you're mine, not that stupid bitch's you were practically fucking out there, what were you gonna let her do? jerk you off in the middle of the party? are you that much of a whore mings?"

he doesn't have the clarity to properly deny it, only crying out as he moves faster and faster, trying to get off. shaking his head no, muttering pleas and apologies against your thigh as he hides his face against you.

"not her, not her, i-i promise, only-only you." he pants.

you sigh, fingers twirling through the strands of his hair. enjoying the way he desperately humps you like a puppy in heat, sounding like one as well.

he's so cute, you guess you can forgive him-just this once though. "good thing you're so pretty mingles, who knows where you'd be without it."

[chasedeys]

I WOULD LIKE TO HEAR UR JOEMARR THOUGHTS ON JOE WEARING THE TANK 😊😊😊

IT'S REALLY NOT MUCH 😭😭 just cbat music going off in my head as i picture joe burrow finishing up his presser and standing up looking to the left to see ja'marr standing waiting propped up ready to take his place and deliberately making eye contact in his stupid fucking tank top and ripped hearts jeans and pale shoulders and red nose and pale eyes and isn't he fucking freezing is what i'm asking here how well insulated is the paycor stadium really.

anyway deliberate eye contact this is important we know how much joe toes the line between staring people down with uncomfortable intensity (that ja'marr has learned to just roll with over the years) and inability to stare at ja'marr for more than a few beats per minute when they're flirting (see: titans mic'ed up) and goes to step right on the edge of the podium right across from ja'marr trying to haul himself up it but he's kind of blocked by this already-taller-than-him-but-made-taller-by-the-podium douche who's taking way too long to move out of the way.

no idea how the height difference would be affected by the podium but let's say ja'marr's face is level with joe's sternum. he looks down and joe's offering up his pinky, answers it with his own but joe doesn't let go immediately. stares back up in askance but joe's still staring him down and ja'marr's just caught in his eyes immediately, unable to look away. and they just. spend a Moment staring into each other's eyes. in front of all those reporters. hobs is beside himself with joy. yeah.

the pr person in charge of them coughs loud and pointed and joe finally lets go and moves to get off the podium. makes sure to brush his bare arm not hard but purposefully against ja'marr's own clothed arm, makes sure his physical presence is felt and he can absorb some of the heat ja'marr puts out (again is he not fucking cold. the hell.).

ja'marr finally sits and greets the reporters and this might just be a coincidence lmao but he was kind of stone faced the first few minutes of the interview. hot and bothered no?

anyway walks out of the media room and the coast is clear which he's surprised at bc he's lowkey expecting to get ambushed like. within minutes. so that's a disappointing turn of events but he walks off to the parking lot anyway bc he's changed and all his stuff is in his car and boom when he gets there joe's in his car patiently waiting for him and fiddling with his radio.

'did you swipe my keys?' 'yeah, get in, why do you always take so long for pressers. quit having so much fun with it.' 'are you fucking serious. get out.' 'no way in hell you're driving me, get in.' 'it's my car what is the matter with you get out.' 'no just get in ja'marr i wanna fuck.' ja'marr gets in the passenger seat.

super hilarious idea that joe can pickpocket people with high success tbh. or maybe ja'marr's just used to his hands on him idk. his keys were in his back pocket so.

also there were several other teammates in the parking lot starting up their own cars to get home watching the interaction long-sufferingly lmao. you know how loud ja'marr gets.

[ofallthingsnasty]

Ah, but being a party girl... Getting to your late 20s/early 30s, feeling that shift within you; knowing that hey, this can't go on forever... Starting something light with Crocodile, maybe aiming for a little fun in the spring, just someone proper to take you out for dinners and to warm your bed - testing the waters, so to speak. You want to settle down soon, just not right now, just want to see how it is as an item. He's handsome, has a certain air to him and a lot of money to spend - so why not?

tw.minors dni, a little dark twist at the end bc it's crocodile 🤭

Of course, you butter him up. He's right at that age where his type of man gets a little wistful, would like to have a wife, a house, maybe a kid if it's in the cards, still? Twenty-some years of 50 hour weeks will do that to you, will show you that your body doesn't just bounce back like so when you step over a certain threshold. Well, he wants someone to put a ring on; you want some fun - so, selfish as you are, you play along. Humor him. Hang off his arm and entertain those silly thoughts of his - a vacation together, moving in with him after the summer's done (because well, why not smile and nod when you'll be long gone by then), pointedly ignoring the way he keeps burying you in expensive gifts. You should feel bad, the guilt should probably eat you alive, because as the weeks pass you can tell that he's really, really smitten with you while you're secretly texting some other guy your age when you return home from yet another chic Italian restaurant-

It's such a sad thing, really. He'll make some other woman stupid happy, especially if she's been yearning for a rich husband; he's the perfect example of the broody, grumbly type who mumbles on and on about her expensive taste but would rather die than NOT to buy her exactly what she wants. There is a certain appeal to him (or else you wouldn't have spent this much time with him) and he'll be just fine after licking wounds once you're gone, you're sure of it. It's definitely nice to have someone around who is serious about you - after years and years of boyfriends (emphasis on boy) who were only good for long nights of drinking and summer vacations, you feel spoiled and terribly grown to have a handsome man downright worship you, to plan a future with you after such little time. He's committed and doesn't play around. Yes, you think, you could get used to this, but you still need a few more years of being free before you'll let yourself be tied down - because as much as it is flattering, it can also be a little scary. The thought of you in a white gown and a matching ring on your finger in just a year is making you antsy; and with how fast he's moving he might just want to opt for a December wedding.

So you do what you do best: smile, kiss him goodbye after yet another lovely date and- ghost him. You avoid his neighborhood for a few weeks, go private on all your socials, block his number, duck away whenever you see that telltale black shock of hair that is dragging smoke behind it, act like he never existed. And it works, as it always does.

At least that's what you think. Because the one night you finally dare to venture out again ends abruptly and with you waking up in an unfamiliar room. You can barely lift your hand to rub your tired eyes because suddenly there is a weight on it and a familiar face is staring you down solemly from the bedside, that all too familiar smell of cigars all around you. Turns out, leaders of crime syndicates who operate behind the innocent fronts of bussinesmen don't like to be deceived and made a fool of, especially by naive little playgirls who think they're smarter than the rest of the world and when they weren't even able to glean that there was more to the person they chose to goad. And spoiled brats like you need to learn not to toy with other people's hearts and egos, both of which are dangerously fragile. You reeled him in with promises of marriage and love and that's exactly what you'll give him now, just without all the luxury that you could have had if you hadn't been dishonest from the start.

Time to grow up, princess.

[crow-of-paradise]

WoR is finished! I don't have a whole lot to say other than I enjoyed it! lol Disjointed out-of-order thoughts and reactions below the cut. TWoK ending is still TOP for me, but WoR ending was very satisfying too in a different way. Like letting go of a BIG SNEEZE (for me the big sneeze was Kaladin finally being his true self and not hiding anymore)

Honestly though this ending was kinda insane?! I'm looking at you, Adolin!

First of all, RIP TO A REAL ONE SADEAS. I LOVED YOU UNTIL THE VERY END, MY FAVORITE STYLISH REPRESSED EVIL GAY. You coulda lived if you'd followed Sebarial's hedonistic way of life, but you were too hyperfocused on Dalinar, I get it. And now ur dead smh. LOL but honestly what a stupid move on his part to lay out his plans like that right to Adolin's face IN A CORRIDOR WITH NO WITNESSES. Ok not stupid, bc he's talked shit about Dalinar in front of Adolin before but, this was just the last straw?! I GUESS? YOU CREATED A BLACKTHORNE JR CONGRATS

And, I doubt this will be the case, but a morally-gray-to-morally-bankrupt Adolin arc would obviously be my favorite thing ever and infinitely more interesting than another honorable character POV. But as that belongs to Moash (WHOMST I ADORE) and seeing as he is Dalinar "Live Laugh Honor" Kholin's son, right now I'm taking this as a moment that mirrors that of a younger reckless Dalinar. Regardless, I was Shook, lol.

Quick celebration/mention of these two bc I cannot deal with these divas. Was it absolutely ridiculous? YES, AND also right up my alley - which with Brandon's humor isn't always the case, lol.

LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN

-holding brandy's face- IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO MY SON'S PARENTS (I AM AWARE THAT IS A NONSENSE STATEMENT) I WILL CEASE TO FUNCTION. The dread I immediately felt. I am not ready for three more books of Kal suffering hahahaha

A LITTLE COMMOTION FOR KALADIN SAVING DALINAR'S BOOTY AGAIN PLS. In my head, he bridal-style carried him back to earth. 👉👈

Elhokar is now a flavor of pathetic man that I can 1000% get behind - thank you, Brandy.

BRIDGE FOUR FOUND FAMILY FOR LIFE!!! 😭😭😭 Oh Rock.... Oh Teft.... The love I have for this darling crew is SO MUCH MY HEART RISKS BURSTING EVERY TIME THEY'RE ON THE PAGE.

And oh I'm so happy Syl and Kal are back together... What a relatable queen - I too would let Kal's shenanigans slide for one (1) single smile from him.

How did I fare plot-wise? WELL, I WAS EVENTUALLY ABLE TO KEEP UP. I am wonky on some of the factions affecting change in the world atm. I made a very incorrect cheat sheet so I wouldn't forget everything whenever I get to the next book LOL

Gavilar's confusing me rn tbh and also Nin actually bc he straight-up gave Szeth his honorblade and made him a Skybreaker (I just shoved him in the Ghostbloods camp initially bc of him exacting revenge on Shardbearers but I don't think he's part of them exactly) soooooo ???? I am not sure what's going on there EXAAACTLY but I am loving the ride, safe to say, lol.

The novella is up next! It's such a cute and tiny tome to hold compared to the Monsters. I will say I am very pleased that the narrative still leans into the cheesy, earnest tone of TWoK, and while Kal will always be blorbo numero uno, all the major and minor characters are so compelling to me. I love every single one, actually, lmao. EVEN AMARAM. He's really drinking the kool-aid so I don't JUST despise him with the passion of a 1,000 burning suns anymore, now I feel PITY for him. It's great!

The action in these books is always so epic and in particular the scene with Szeth and Kaladin fighting in the storms, my thoughts couldn’t help but go to “DO THE DRAGON BALL Z FANS KNOW ABOUT THIS” hahaha and ofc I mean that in the best way. I feel like a little kid hyperfixating on power rangers when I read the Windrunner action.

If there's one thing I wish for it would be another main POV female character that is not part of the Kholin family. Funnily enough Veil does somewhat scratch this itch for me, considering it's... just Shallan LOL, but yeah. ANOTHER! I don't think we're diverting much from the current POVs we have though (besides the interludes and the brief POV switches within the main POVs), which is fine. SHOULD I DO A RANKING? ok! My number one is still The Way of Kings, so obvs, for now, that leaves Words of Radiance in second place. :)

[teddybeartoji]

MICKEY LOVES TLOU2

here are a fuck ton of thoughts and things i love and things that i've just noticed during my multiple playthroughs!!! i really love this game and i really wanted to talk about it lmao ppl so enjoy lmao!!! though if you know nothing abt the game... this might be very boring bc it's not like i give a lot of context to my thoughts😭😭whatever this was for me okay!!!!!!!!!!!

⚠︎ spoilers spoilers hardcore spoilers i am talking abt every death known to mankind i am not holding anything back type of spoilers ⚠︎

ELLIE

— i have a love/hate relationship with her<3 let's not get into the fact that i also kin her btw this is so irrelevant i adore her and i also kind of want to punch her in the face<333

— i love how much she fidgets. she plays with her fingers and she does this thing where she rubs her chin against her shoulder when she's nervous. it all just makes her so much more real. (i also.. do both of those things. ok no let's not get into that cough)

— when ellie and dina find a clicker crawling on the floor during day one and it very obviously scares ellie and then dina asks her whether she's ok like the good girlfriend that she is, to which ellie first replies 'yeah' with a shaky voice only to clear her throat and give dina a way stronger 'yeah'. as if she's trying to act a bit tougher yk? (ok here's a lil link from a gameplay if u actually wanna hear the difference)

— i love how much ellie fucks up. gonna talk abt the first game here too bc i want to. when she first meets david, she does well by getting the man to give up his gun but then a few minutes later we find out that david had another gun which ellie didn't know abt simply bc she didn't ask abt it!!!!!!!!!!!! she could've died just there.

and then later when david is telling her all about how joel killed all his men and everything, ellie doesn't hear the other man having a gun on her. boom she could've been dead right there. she only lives bc david is a fucking pedophile yayyy

it's just very clear that she is, in fact, a fourteen year old lmao i'm not saying that she should've actually done anything differently - i am actually very very happy with the way they portrayed her there.

and she's the same way in the second one too. she acts very very tough, but she's clumsy and she lets her guard down way too easily. AND IT'S REALISTICCC PLEASEE I'M NOT DISSING HER I LOVE THIS LITTLE DETAIL SOOO SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!

on day two, when she finally reaches the hospital and she's met with her first proper wolf; ellie holds a knife to whitney's throat to ask about nora (the girl she's looking for) and when whitney does tell her the info she needs, ellie kind of zones out for a mere second but that's enough for whitney to yank out of her hold and it almost ends very badly. it's very stupid. even she herself says so.

and on day three, when we're finally met with mel and owen, ellie tries to do the infamous joel and tommy interrogation move. but she fucks it up so bad.

for those who might not know what the fuck i'm talking abt - the move includes having two ppl being faced away from each other, so you can ask one of them to write down the information you want without the other seeing the answer. and then you let the other person do the same, and if the info matches - they're telling the truth!! yayy!!!!!

ellie has both of the people in front of her, so owen would've been able to see exactly where mel is pointing lmao. and then she let's them both get way too close which ends up owen going for her gun and then everything just goes to hell. and she gets fucking nothing out of it other than three more kills.

she also lets nora to get to her, too. the latter brings up joel and the second ellie's gun lowers just an inch, nora smacks her in the face with a fucking platter and therefore is able to make a run for it.

another thing that goes well with this point is just the fact that she is very emotional. gets angry very easily and she tends to act very irrationally. #she's literally me

— have never been angrier when ellie put a knife to lev because ????? lev is THE only reason dina and jj and ellie herself are alive?????????? abby would've 100% killed all of them (rightfully so i'm afraid) but lev was the one that made her stop and now she's threatening to kill him????? be so serious rn ellie my dear

— i hated playing the santa barbara part and i died during the last fight way too many times simply because i was so afraid that i'd actually have to kill abby. i.. thought about not finishing the game lmao

— the last scene of the game............................. i cried so hard. i also cried when they showed us the 'fight' ellie and joel had during the night in jackson bc i was so afraid that that was their last interaction yk? so when we see joel strumming his guitar on his porch.... ohhhhhhhhh:(((( the fact that he says that he'd do it all again. ellie saying that she'd like to try and forgive him and joel crying??????????? just fucking shoot me okay this hurts so fucking bad

and joel bringing up dina ever so gently, being the old man that he is, he tries to show his support even though he knows that ellie probably doesn't even want it................

JOEL

— joel giving his name and lending a hand to a complete stranger after playing the tough guy for over 20 years only for it to blow it up so fucking terribly in his face is just.................... awful my heart still hurts btw

— yes i think he deserved it yes i love him yes i cried so hard that i needed to pause the game

his death didn't really come as a surprise though,, not to sound like some pick-me but i did assume that they'd be fireflies bc........... oh i wonder that was the Big Thing Joel Did In The First Game That Could Come And Bite Him In The Ass yk?? he took away the possibility of a vaccine and he also killed a hospital full of people like joel is not a good man lmao I STILL LOVE HIM THOUGHHH

— joel taught ellie how to swim:(((((((((((((((((((((((((( and then just the whole museum thing aaaaaaaaaaaarrghhhhh yes i cried during this part too. i love how much more open he is at that point, like he's more than comfortable talking about sarah and it's just soo:((((((((((((((

and ohhh the way joel looks at ellie when he's handing her the tape:(((

and hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the fact that joel kept the little dinosaur pamphlet too:((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((everything hurts please send help

— joel vs abby and the group + the moose vs the wolves statue in the museum yeaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

— joel reading the comic book that ellie is into to have something to talk to her about................................................... i'm so sad

THE JACKSON CREW

— i LOVED JESSSEEEEEEE btw during my first playthrough i was just thinking abt what a cool guy he is and how i hope that nothing happens to him and then he got shot in the face literally in the next scene yeah that was just so amazing thank you game)

and aaaaaahhhh his little enterance was such a big surprise to me!!!!! ok i think it was for everybody actually,, i think that was done really really well

— AND I ABSOLUTELY ADORE DINAA!!!!!!!!!!!! i think she did nothing wrong i think she's perfect!!!!!!!!!! i loved loved loved how gentle she was with ellie until the end,, she loved ellie sm:(((

— tommy.............................................. now that was heartbreak. i can't even descibe the hurt i felt when he brought up abby again......... and when he snaps at ellie for not wanting to go after her....... ouch ouch ouch that genuinely hurt so fucking much bc i loved tommy so bad!!!! i do think that he is in the wrong, i think that he is mostly just bitter about maria fucking leaving him so he's now trying to idk take back time or some shit. i'm not saying that he should be grateful to be alive but... he should. abby could've fucking decimated the whole group (she almost did) and now you're here still obsessing over her

— maria is so hot btw thanks for listening to my ted talk

ABBY

— i love her<3 and i think the only bad thing she ever was did was that she killed jesse (rip my king i loved him sm)

— :33 if you have anything bad to say about her i will not hear it.

— if i ever happen to see another 'who's winning' poll with abby and ellie with ellie fucking winning i am burning down earth because what the fuck are you guys on. even after being strung up on a pole under the californian sun with no food and nothing to drink, she almost won against ellie. who btw had a knife.

and the threater fight????????? abby only had her fists and bricks and bottles while ellie had her ENTIRE BAG including her knife and a shotgun and a bow and trapmines and she still couldn't kill abby????? yeah cmon now abby would fucking eat ellie for breakfast

— but yeah i fucking love abby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think her storyline is so fucking good and i just overall think that uhh she's a better person than ellie<3 sue me okay sue me i still love ellie but man you cannot deny that abby didn't have a redemption arc while ellie litERALLY STILL WENT AFTER HER IN THE ENDDDD??????????

the way abby turns against the wolves and takes lev under her arm is just soooo:(((((((( they mean the world to me

— omfg and when abby teaches lev what the word 'cool' means but he then messes it up later, saying 'cold' instead😭😭THAT'S MY SONN FR!!!!!!!!!

THE WOLVES (aka the washington liberation front aka the w.l.f)

— i hate owen. i hate owen with every fiber in my body. gets mel pregnant and then just decides to up and leave yeah okay pussy. "we're allowed to be happy." YEAH AND SO DOES MEL ASSHOLE BUT NOW SHE HAS YOUR KID INSIDE HER DURING A FUCKING APOCALYPSE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME BY ANY CHANCE

i'm sounding like a proper mel pussy rider rn i promise u that i don't actually care that much abt her i just think that... no matter whether owen likes mel or not - he has to take some fucking responsibility for getting her pregnant

btw i have NEVER read a room more wrong than the boat scene. is that bc they're straight?? idk man i was genuinely so upset with owen and with the way he was talking to abby and just the way he was acting and then they.. do That. what

also. he never asked abby about the fuCKING BRUISE AROUND HER NECKKKK???????????????????? kys man i am an owen hater until i die lmao

— the wolves having a goodbye saying of "may your survival be long" and "may your death be swift"

so when nora tells abby the first line as they part in the hospital but abby replies back with "and may my death be swift" is the most insane foreshadowing in the world because only a few hours later ellie arrives at the hospital, beating nora to death in a very slow and a painful manner:3

GAMEPLAY

— INCREDIBLEEEEEEEE genuinely think that the gameplay is fucking extraordinaly i love the weapon sway i love getting oneshotted by a shotgun i love going prone (and yes i keep wanting to say prone bone don't look at me) i love using a bow while laying down on the ground???????? i love breaking glass i love rope mechanics

— SEATTLE DAY 2 WHEN ELLIE IS ALONE AND SHE FINDS A LETTER SAYING THAT FIVE WLF PPL HAVE DESERTED THE GROUP AND ARE NOW ON THE RUN + ELLIE GETTING ATTACK IN THE MIDDLE OF BEING ON THE WORKBENCH SCREEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the little things leading up to that are fucking amazing 1. ellie makes noise no matter how she gets into the building - she either breaks glass or if she gets in from the basement, there are bottles set up by the door so when she opens it they all fall, letting the wolves know that someone is coming 2. there are still growing tomatoes in the apartment, a very tell-tale sign of yk.. somebody living in there lmao 3. ellie finds a locked door and it's just so crazy to think that there are actually people inside that room

hearing the footsteps when you think that you're safely in a you know A Pause Screen was fucking terrifying it scared the shit out of me i loved it

— love the fact that you can hide under things but what i love even more is that enemies do check the places!!!!!!!!!!!! they crouch down and they check it and they fucking pull you out from whatever you're hiding under and that is also fucking scary as shit lmao

— the fact that both big groups have their own Things: the wolves have the dogs (lol) and the seraphites like to communicate by whistling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think it's very fun and innovative

plus points to the whistles bc they're even worse while you're playing grounded bc the game doesn't tell you what whistle is what whistle like it does while you're playing it on normal. you gotta remember them yourself if you want to get ahead<333

— overall i love how realistic the combat is?? like the weapon sway is fucking horrid but... that's the point of it, isn't it?? like none of these people are meant to be fucking sharpshooters and you're all bound to miss a fuck ton bc that's just the way it is. and that also makes hitting headshots sooooo much more satisfying too oh my god i love that

— AND I LOVE HOW GNARLY THE COMBAT IS!!!!!!!!!! dismembered limbs and bits and pieces of their people's bodies sliding down the walls after you shoot them with something heavy rrraaaahhhhhh

and the way the blood pools after you kill somebody??? like you can actually see it spread on the ground it's so fucking sick and if you happen to step in it, you leave bloody footprints behind you as well

— the way people cry out when you kill a dog:(((( the way they call their name yeahhhh.... and i do actually love that they put dogs in the game like it's fucking awful and it feels so fucking bad but it's real isn't it?? and like i don't really know if any other game has done smth like this too i think it's a very interesting thing. and the fact that they're very, very hard to deal with.. bc it's not like you can fucking sneak up on a dog now can you???? so the game just forces you to think of new ways to do things!! plus points for making the player feel bad by showing the dogs through abby's eyes later too (like u can play ball with a dog named 'bear' knowing that... you have most definitely killed said dog a day before as ellie....)

— stalkers are fucking terrifying. literally almost shat myself when i first met them. i love it. an absolutely fucked up concept like wdym there are mfs in the room with me who aren't really attacking but just.. looking at me from behind corners and shit???????????? fuck you game!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! a very very good design imo!!!!!!!!!!!

— i think it's very fun how the game developers used space. everyone who has played games that are even remotely similar to tlou are used to scouring every crook and nanny of an area assuming that they're gonna find loot but here... there's just a lot of empty space lmao it sounds annoying and it is, but that doesn't make it a dumb little thing i think it just makes the game even more realistic.

— they do this in the first game too but man the attention to detail is insane. you know you actually have to move SLOWLY if you want to be quiet??????????? like typically the fact that you're crouching down is sufficent but not in this one. simply crouching down is just more for like taking cover,, the enemies and esp the clickers will still hear you perfectly if you're trying to 'sneak' around without slowing down your movements!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think it's a very neat mechanic. this also made me almost quit the game when i first played it because i didn't understand it lmao

MORE OVERALL THOUGHTS

— LESBIAN ELLIEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A FEMALE LESBIAN MAIN CHARACTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! love that she's not bisexual either, like they very clearly even state that she is NOT into men lmao and i fucking love that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

— BUFF ABBBYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GODD SHE'S SO FUCKING AMAZING AND SO HOTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i remember seeing all the hate the character got just bc of her physique like ok cowards just say that you're afraid of women lmao

— LEV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE HAVE A TRANS CHARACTERR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this sounds like bare minimum and i hate that i have to praise it so bad i wish we had more trans characters but oh my god i love him so fucking much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i just love his storyline so much too wahh he's my baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

— exceptional soundtrack!!!!!!! i really fucking love it i think the music adds to the scenes so fucking much and gustavo and mac did such a good job with it i owe them my life

— GOING AGAINST TOMMY WAS FUCKING TERRIFYING BTW!!!!! when i finally realized what day i was on and where exactly i was i just... paused the game to rethink my whole life. having told that tommy is one hell of a sniper throughout the first and the second game only to let THE PLAYER go against him.. FOULLLLLL THAT WAS FUCKING HORRIBLEEEE

and i loved that he was used the same move he literally taught ellie earlier in the game - to shoot against cars to attract the infected and to make the players life even worse:33 thanks tommy:3333

ANDDDDD manny's death...... oh my fucking god. that's just another thing i really love abt the game,, like how easily people die. it only took a second for tommy to pop a bullet into his head and it just happened so fucking fast and you don't really have any time to even think about it bc then you already have to move forward. there's no time to mourn or anything.

— the point of it all being the vicious cycle of violence. the game just fucking hammers down it; ellie vs abby, joel vs the fireflies, the wolves vs the seraphites - it's just retaliation upon retaliation. and in the end abby is the only one who truly breaks out of it

— ellie's iconic quote from the first game "i'm scared of ending up alone" becoming real. she doesn't have joel, she doesn't have dina or jj, doesn't have tommy or jesse either. it's just her and the old, empty house.

— ellie losing the fingers she uses to play the one song joel taught her..................................... she really doesn't have anything, does she?

— THE VISUALSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OHHH MY FUCKINGG GODD IT'S ALL SOO BEAUTIFULL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love the overgrown city thing soo so much i think it's just so gorgeous when moss and plants and vines just grow all over everything and the grass is long and wahhh

like aaaahhh!!!!!!!!!!!! this is soo cool!!!!!!!!!! sorry if the quality is fucking garbage but aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! i want more games in settings like this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

— MORE ABOUT THE LITTLE THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! flies. you can hear flies flying around before you're about to run into an infected place. and if it's not flies, than it's the stench - ellie makes notice of the bad smell around her yk signaling that there are rotting corpses and stuff laying around

— THE LITTLE SIDE STORIES THAT YOU GET TO READ ABOUT ARE SOOO COOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you find all these papers and letters, all different stories depending on what chapter you're in. you get to read about boris the archer who loses his shit when the wolves kill her daughter, and who ends up locking alive people into a room with spores bc they didn't want to go against the wolves. and then you get to read about a wolf who gets saved by a seraphite, and who ends up actually joining the other side!!!! idk i think they're such an interesting little feature to add to a game

— THE FIRST PROPER ENCOUNTER WITH THE SERAPHITES IS CRAZYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! here's a little link bc u really need to experience it okay i can't really put it into words even after playing it a few times that still makes me flinch lmao again

— to go with the point above: i think the horror/thriller aspect and the pacing of the game is just fucking brilliant. you've just gotten out of a fight and are now hoping to catch your breath but then as you're walking through the dark woods, you hear whistles??????? and then a hanging body?????????? but you don't see anyone else and you're just like????????????????????????????? and then the arrow happens and it scares the fuck out of you yay thanks game (affectionate i think the scare is very good i love getting jumped)

— you can find safes with a bunch of goodies in them, and while there is always a piece of paper with the code on it, you can actually just listen for the right clicks and you can open the safe without ever finding said piece of paper!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THOUGHS ABOUT GROUNDED (so far.. i'm more than halfway done with it)

— this is the hardest mode you could play on: there's no hud (you cannot see your health AT ALL and the only way to see how much ammo and stuff you have is when you go to your inventory, meaning that you mostly have to keep count of your bullets on your own)

— there's little to NO loot at all. i've had to go through areas with TWO BULLETS AND A BRICK yeah that wasn't too fun i won't even lie

— idk whether enemies actually have more health but you do have to consider that body shots don't do all that much,, so headshots are crucial

— a single shot can kill you:3 you don't have a big health bar to start with but considering that you're bound to take a hit no matter how stealthily you're trying to play - you're not even at max health for the most of the time.

— YOU HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING PATIENT. at first i thought that running would have to be the way to go in quite a few areas just bc there are so many enemies and so little resources but that does not work. at all. you're very likely spotted (and they can fucking hear you) and most of the doors in the areas need you to kind of push them open? so that takes time too and well yeah if you're spotted that you can't fucking do that lmao

so going in guns blazing is obviously not an option either because you just don't have the ammo for it actually wait if this is coming off as me just sucking at the game by not having any ammo i'll have u know that i am actually doing relatively well i beat my first boss on the first try okay let me be

you have to make use of the few bricks and bottles that you find and you really have to master the Dodge move... smhh fists and knives it is bUT THEN AGAIN IT'S NOT LIKE I CAN GO AGAINST FIVE PEOPLE WITH GUNS AND DOGS WITH A FUCKING KNIFE NOW CAN I anyway i'm fine i'm doing okay actually don't talk to me

— but i am loving it. despite how hard it is at times, i definitely feel proud for even making it this far and i am very happy with how i'm doing. i'm also watching a gameplay on the side and the differences between the way he's playing and the way i'm forced to play are very funny!!!!

— oh!!!!!!!!! and one of my favourite things abt grounded is that you can't use listening mode at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm not a fan of it anyway but it does come in handy when you're in an area with a lot of enemies and a lots and lots of cover. not being able to get an understanding where somebody is can definitely be scary lmao i have uhh gotten shot in the head just as i take a corner bc well.. i didn't know... he was... there..... hgasghahgsghahgsahg STILL VERY FUN THOUGH!!!!!

— i'm pretty sure that enemies can also hear you reloading your gun if they're close enough lmao

++ OKOK THIS IT FOR NOW LMAO!!!!!! this felt really really good thank you for reading if you have actually reached the end,, i genuinely love talking about this game and all the small little nuances of it!!!!!!!!!!!! if u ever have any questions about it... or just wanna share ur own thoughts abt it my inbox is always open:333333 LOVE YOUU!!

[ioannemos]

so. YESTERDAY.

1. woke up in time to shower before walking to church

2. here's the thing. the church i've been going to? next town over. even i cannot walk that far. so i decided to check out one of the churches in town

3. there are... several. i honestly did not expect that many

4. what the heck, i've never been to a nazarene church before, let's see what they've got going on, it's one service

5. start walking, get distracted by a sign for an art fair. the temptation is real. maybe after church i'll go check it out. i can fit in something fun before grocery shopping and picking up my medication

6. it's a thirty minute walk. i'm not even halfway there and have to turn on my data to look at the map. getting hot. this sucks

7. look up. i'm right next to a different church. according to google, this one has a female pastor. i rejected this one earlier for that reason. the 'can women be pastors' thing is not something i've really researched for myself but i have read the verses and idk, seemed pretty clear cut that the answer is no. on the other hand, i'm right on time for the service, and do i want to do this right now?

8. fk it. i'll miss more than half the service at the other church by the time i get there. if it sucks i'll hit the bricks

9. two old people are thrilled to see me. i am gifted a bulletin and a nametag

10. the sanctuary is more than half empty, most heads that are present are grey, and there is no sign of technology except for the dude up front wearing a mic. there is no apparatus for streaming online, no tvs to display lyrics, no soundbooth or even the person in charge of making the mic work. i have absolutely nothing against those things, but it's kinda nice tbh

11. the pastor is def a guy and they just moved their service from 10:45 to 10:30, so i've missed a lot of this service too. but i didn't miss the sermon, so whatever, fine, this is just my life today i guess

12. HYMNS. they do HYMNS here. i am instantly pacified that they didn't update their sign outside with the new time

13. don't get me wrong i LOVE contemporary Christian music okay, i have a playlist that's stupid long, great stuff, makes me think, makes me cry, all that

14. but HYMNS!!!!! from a HYMNAL!!!!! how i've missed them. i can hear some people harmonizing. this is the Good Shit

15. the bulletin says that after the service they're having a baptism and picnic at the lake. i'm trying to be more... social *gagging noise* so... maybe... i'll go... but only if someone invites me

16. service is over. hey who's that. i recognize her face. shit. what's her name and where the hell have i seen her

17. fk it. approach. "hey! i recognize your face but can't for the life of me remember your name or where we met 😅"

18. her name is vicki and i met her at my previous job *more gagging noises* but she only worked there once in a while. thus i don't have to feel guilty at not knowing her immediately. phew

19. she has a baby! her baby is cute, of course. coo over baby appropriately

20. while cooing over baby, someone else approaches. her name is marnie. i barely play sdv but it's enough that i don't think i'll forget her name very soon

21. marnie: are you going to the baptism?

me: i don't have a car

her: oh, i can drive you there and back if you want

guess i'm going!

22. her: do you want to stop by your house and get some shorts?

me: i don't own any shorts

her: ... your swimsuit?

me: i don't have one of those either

her: ...okay

23. she has to pick up something at her house first. she offers to lend me something lighter than jeans 🥺 i turn her down, bc i'm just. used to wearing jeans everywhere, but i appreciate the offer

24. the beach we go to is lovely. it's part of a camp that a bunch of churches in the area use. the water itself is probably freezing (the lake doesn't really warm up, a familiar refrain to someone who grew up right next to lake michigan lol) but the area is nicely shaded (it is hot in the sun)

25. the picnic food is good. i talk a little with the people at the table i sit at. it's... fine. there are a few conversations going at once, which i find distracting and unpleasant (my brain struggles with what i'm supposed to be paying attention to)

26. it's time for the baptism!

pastor, quietly: how do you guys do this here?

me, very amused: idk man, this is my first day attending this church

pastor: what, really?? okay, stick around after this, i wanna talk to you

me: okay

27. the guy getting baptized cries during his testimony, we pray for him, he gets dunked, we cheer and applaud, we pray for him again, he lets a few people take pictures and then cannonballs off the end of the pier into the lake to more cheers and applause

28. some people leave. the pastor's wife asks if i want to go kayaking. i think i've gone kayaking once? i say yes anyway. fk it, i'm already stepping out and i don't feel like killing anyone at this picnic or myself yet

29. obvs both the pastor and his wife are in high demand so it takes a while but eventually we start hauling out the kayaks

30. marnie, who works at the camp, is very conscientious that everyone has an emergency whistle and is wearing a life jacket that is appropriately sized. she also lends me and the pastor's wife hats. marnie is the best, i think

31. the water is crystal clear and the weather is about perfect. marnie suggests we head for a slightly shallower part of the lake, where there are lily pads

32. the youngest member of our party, a teenager, capsizes on the way. we all come together to tow her and her kayak to shore. the pastor's wife uses her emergency whistle to tie the swamped kayak to the guy towing it. i wrangle the teen's paddle and point out that the person who offered to tow the teen doesn't have anything for her to hold onto but that someone else does, and they switch accordingly. the extra water is dumped out on shore. the teen is checked on and encouraged. we all head back out onto the lake

33. the pastor talks to me for almost the entire trip. it's nice bc he tells me that if i don't want to answer any of his questions i can just tell him to back off, but honestly i like talking about myself 😅. i realize that the person his voice reminds me of is ted danson and it is made abundantly clear to me why he has a mic in the otherwise electronics-less church: his voice is fairly quiet and barely carries (which are separate things, fight me)

34. amongst other things i talk about mom. when do i not tell people about mom. i mention how the night she died i had the feeling that i wasn't going to see her again, so before the paramedics left with her i had a chance to say goodbye and give her a kiss. he describes this as the gift of... discernment, i think? anyway i want to talk this down a bit, bc when do i not talk down any gifts i might have, but the more i think about it the more instances come to mind. huh. i will need to think more on this

35. we see the lily pads and a few lily buds, hang around for a little bit just talking, and then head back. we arrive back at camp without incident, put up the kayaks, and go our separate ways

36. except marnie has a thing to do first, do i mind, no i don't, repeat about three times, lol. but i really don't mind, i have tomorrow off also to do what i need to, and the things she needs to do are a. all for the camp, which has kids who just arrived and b. the kind of tasks i find completely non-stressful, like refilling napkins and hand soap. i am introduced to her boss. we leave eventually, each with a plateful of brownies

37. we talk the whole way. i am once again asked questions about myself and i am once again more than happy to do so. i should probably shut up occasionally. 🙄🤐 she drops me off but not before asking for my number

38. i have neither done my grocery shopping nor picked up my medication. fk. guess i'm doing that tomorrow

39. go inside, take dog out back to play with her. one of the other dogs also wants to play. thankfully there are two balls, so i kinda just juggle between them. neither dog seems to mind

40. another roommate shows up with his new dog: the tiniest puppy 😭 so small! one and a half hands big! and i got to hold her 😍💞🥰 reminded me of my dog when we first got her 😭😭 i miss her... 😭😭😭

41. did my laundry. turned on my laptop and only made it through one of my yt rec'd videos before realizing i was falling asleep. reluctantly decided to do the right thing and just. go to bed

42. fell asleep almost instantly and finally slept well. so all i need to do is wake up early, eat no breakfast, walk to church, go to a new place, talk to people i don't know, go kayaking, play with two dogs, do a big load of laundry, and then i'll sleep well. glad to find out it's as simple as that 🙄

[goose-duck]

Mandela catalog texting 🍜

~~~~~~

✨Jonah and Adam✨

~~~~~~

💜Adam: u dyed ur hair again?

💙Jonah: yes

💜Adam: looks ugly

💙Jonah: ur face

💜Adam: what.

💙Jonah: is surprisingly pretty

💜Adam: why'd you compliment me, I just insulted you, are you stupid?

💙Jonah: keep going, I'm enjoying this

💜Adam: freak

~~~~~~

💜Adam: wanna ask if we can go to the library?

💙Jonah: u can ask, u gotta bring ur paper up anyway

💜Adam: Nah

💜Adam: just stay here

💜Adam: what's wrong

💜Adam: did you want something from the service trade people

💜Adam: I have money

💜Adam: I kinda owe you anyway

~~~~~~

💙Jonah: I'm sorry 😭

💙Jonah: I hate to leave man

💙Jonah: *picture didn't send*

💙Jonah: what a bitch

💜Adam: I can't see the picture you sent me

💜Adam: I learned a new spell in DND and fucked shit up

💙Jonah: oh sorry

💙Jonah: that's cool :)

💜Adam: It was fun, I accidentally almost killed Evelin and the guy that sits beside Evelin bc I didn't know how big the attack was and blew up a room

💙Jonah: Jesus

~~~~~~

💙Jonah: hi

💜Adam: hello

💙Jonah: hiiiiiii

💙Jonah: So what all did we have to do in English

💜Adam: Read the thingy online then pick a few questions and answer them, write a paragraph for each question you picked and you need at least 300 words

💙Jonah: oh okay

💜Adam: Should be called "my father tried to kill me with a crocodile" or alligator, I don't know my reptiles

💙Jonah: ok

💙Jonah: I got it

~~~~~~

✨Evelin and Sarah✨

~~~~~~

🌷Evelin: I broke up with him, but we agreed to still be friends bc he does great as a friend just not as a boyfriend

🌺Sarah: Fr?

🌺Sarah: like, you actually ended it?

🌷Evelin: Yeah, let me quote myself, "I wanna be ur friend, not ur girlfriend"

🌷Evelin: And he was like "okay, I think that'll be a bit awkward, but we can do that"

🌺Sarah: u guys might get back together tho

🌺Sarah: i think just a break

🌷Evelin: Nevermind, he doesn't even wanna be friends

🌺Sarah: talking stage

🌺Sarah: type of thing

🌺Sarah: well

🌺Sarah: you still have me and Dave

🌷Evelin: He told me not to talk to him and I told him I'll give him his sweater on Monday and I won't talk to him anymore

🌷Evelin: drama queen much

🌷Evelin: is that mean?

🌺Sarah: wtf

🌷Evelin: maybe

🌺Sarah: nah

🌷Evelin: he can just sit with other Adam

🌷Evelin: they're friends

🌺Sarah: yeah

🌺Sarah: or with Jonah

🌺Sarah: I like my answer better

🌷Evelin: he'd die if he had to sit with Jonah

🌷Evelin: it'd be kinda funny

🌺Sarah: exactly

🌷Evelin: I can't believe he said "don't talk to me" as if he listens to me when I talk to him anyway lol

🌺Sarah: Bro 💀

🌷Evelin: And now he's begging me for a second chance 😭

🌺Sarah: wow

🌺Sarah: that would be more awkward

🌷Evelin: he's just very interesting

🌺Sarah: ur gonna get back with him

🌺Sarah: just give it a week

🌷Evelin: no we are not

🌺Sarah: ok

🌷Evelin: with the way he's being rn I'd rather just not talk to him

🌺Sarah: yeah

🌺Sarah: me too

🌷Evelin: My mother's like "aw why, he wanted to have a job that made a lot of money" and it was funny

🌺Sarah: wow

🌺Sarah: lol

🌷Evelin: I swear she only likes the ppl I'm with if they have money or plan to do something that will make a lot of money 😭

🌷Evelin: She's shallow, she married dad bc he was making a bunch of money at the time lol

🌺Sarah: honestly I don't blame her

🌺Sarah: I would too

🌷Evelin: I agree with her, but, like, damn

🌺Sarah: easy way of living life

🌷Evelin: true

🌷Evelin: He's still going so I was like "but being friends is :("And he was like "and dating me wasn't fun"And I was like "no"

🌺Sarah: damn

🌺Sarah: bold

🌺Sarah: ur right tho

🌺Sarah: He never acted like a boyfriend in front of others therefore that's why Jonah thought me and you were dating

🌺Sarah: little does he know I'm dating someone else

🌷Evelin: ahahahha

🌺Sarah: you should tell him that

🌷Evelin: he just doesn't boyfriend the way you do

~~~~~~

✨Jonah and Adam ✨

~~~~~~

💙Jonah: my mother is arguing with me abt school

💙Jonah: so mean

💜Adam: why

💙Jonah: bc she's mean

💙Jonah: I dunno

💙Jonah: I think she just wants to argue

💙Jonah: such are mothers

💜Adam: makes sense

~~~~~~

💙Jonah: you been talking to Eve?

💜Adam: yeah

💙Jonah: what happened?

💜Adam: I still don't know what she's got going on

💜Adam: kinda just ignoring her rn

💙Jonah: ohh ok

~~~~~~

✨Ruth and Thatcher✨

~~~~~~

🤍Thatcher: I'm thinking abt dying my hair fr, so, I'm taking suggestions for what colour/colours

🤍Thatcher: Like, I'm gonna probably do it later tonight or tmr

🌻Ruth: dark blue

🤍Thatcher: okay :]

🌻Ruth: half blue half black

🌻Ruth: or purple and black

🌻Ruth: blue and purple

🌻Ruth: something with blue or purple

🤍Thatcher: those are Dave's favorite colours :0

🤍Thatcher: haha

🌻Ruth: actually? Never knew that

🤍Thatcher: I have blue, I'd just have to buy purple

~~~~~~

✨Mark and Cesar✨

~~~~~~

🍓Mark: *picture of their mark on their final project (team project)*

🍄Cesar: woohoo

🍄Cesar: 95%

🍓Mark: yeah

🍄Cesar: we're awesome

🍓Mark: I thought the interview was alright though, probably my fault

🍓Mark: you are

🍓Mark: I sucked ass

🍄Cesar: U were fine, but u could tell u weren't completely sure what u were talking about sometimes

🍓Mark: Exactly

🍄Cesar: <3

🍓Mark: you probably still would have maybe not me

🍓Mark: but I'm proud of you

🍓Mark: I wasn't sure abt anything I'm gonna be honest

🍄Cesar: Well, it was more fun bc we worked together, it wouldn't have been the same without u :]

🍓Mark: thank u

🍓Mark: I feel special for once

🍄Cesar: No need to thank me, it's just how I feel :>U pretty much motivated me to get shit done with it hence why I'd get so pissy when things weren't getting done, bc I don't care for my own grades but knowing ur grade could have been bad bc of me it made me actually want to work on it

🍄Cesar: Also, give urself some credit, u did ask Mrs. Buckle the questions, I probably wouldn't have bothered

🍓Mark: I have an 83 in that class, I wasn't worrying much about it, just wanted to get a decent mark out of it. I care about your marks because you're my friend and I wanna graduate all together

🍓Mark: I have patience with you, I don't with most people. Sometimes I lose it but at times I can't take it yk

🍓Mark: I could've worked on it sooner instead of last minute though

🍓Mark: But thank you for doing it for me, you did it for yourself.

🍄Cesar: <3

🍓Mark: love youuu

🍄Cesar: love u toooo

~~~~~~

✨Adam and Sarah✨

~~~~~~

💜Adam: fuck you

🌺Sarah: I though u were being the bigger person and ending the conversation

~~~~~~

💜Adam: I can do the showcase tomorrow btw, unless you're still mad and don't want me there. Then ig you can do it

🌺Sarah: I'm not doing it alone, u better be there

🌺Sarah: My throat hurts to much to speak so if u can be there that'd be great

💜Adam: I'll be there. Are you and eve still mad

🌺Sarah: If ur over it we're over it

💜Adam: I'm over it, I should apologize to Evelin. Im sorry for Thursday with the Jonah thing and for the dance. I just needed Eve at the time and I'm sorry

🌺Sarah: whatever you say.

~~~~~~

✨Adam and Jonah ✨

~~~~~~

💜Adam: hey

💜Adam: you there

💙Jonah: hi

💙Jonah: bus

💙Jonah: on it

💙Jonah: soon

💙Jonah: getting on it

💜Adam: ok

💜Adam: I have a lock with a

💜Adam: key

💙Jonah: okay.

~~~~~~

[simping-invader]

FANFIC PART 2 :3

Ok ok so before we jump in a few things bc.. I forgot about them dhdhdhdh

• so I did completely forget about zims disguise and I tried to kind of shoehorn it in so just go along with it 💀

● it makes my life easier if the pac can be removed for however long they want so that can happen

● I am making up organ names as I go..go with it dhdhdhdhh

Ok onto the pt2!

Too hot (pt..2)

Dibs pov:

I held the gate to the pool open for zim, smiling at him, even though all i got back is a sneer as he walked inside, I had a pretty good feeling he was happy to be here in some way. His antennae gave that away. I can't tell the exact emotion, but I know that when they're down like that and curled at the end, it's something good. If he was truly upset, they would be either straight down or pointing up and bending at a pretty sharp angle. Why does he continue to pretend like he hates me, I don't know.

"Is this 'pool' always so..full?" zim complains as I close the gate behind us "on hot days like this, yeah. It might be hard to find some chairs, so keep an eye out for any zim scoffs at me in return."I have yet to see the 'fun.' " I roll my eye at him, noticing 2 empty chairs." Ah! Come one before they get stolen. " i grab his 3 fingered hand, dragging him twords the chairs and ignoring his initial protests. When we reach the chairs, i put the towels down on them, effectively marking them as ours "God I can't wait to get out of this heat." I smile, reaching for the bottom of my shirt and taking it off, folding it up neatly before grabbing my sunblock.

Zims pov:

I find myself staring when Dib removes his shirt, slathering himself with that white cream, which looks similar to the goop he gave me..was I supposed to bring that?.. I can't really care right now, unable to pull my attention away from the human. I probably look like a fool...all because of this damn! Dib-stink!.

"You gonna take off your shirt and boots? Or do you like melting in the sun? " Dibs voice snaps me out of my trance, and I can feel my face heat up from being caught watching him."tch! The great zim doesn't want to expose himself to your inferior eyes. " I spit, my gaze darting away from him. "Zim, don't be weird. It's too hot for your stubborn antics," dib sighs.

I scoff again, hesitantly reaching for the end of my invader shirt and pulling it off, taking great care to fold it up so the logo is clear and proud on the front. Next, i slip off my boots. Luckily, most of the human worm things are too stupid to notice I am missing like two extra digits on both my hands and feet. Nor do they notice I forgot my wig. These weird worms probably believe my antennae are two weird strands if hair. "So what we just..stand in the water?? Doesn't sound very fun to me. " I cross my arms, glaring at Dib, who soon has an odd grin on his face."No, we do things like this!" Before I could even question him, I feel myself being lifted from the ground, and my pac suddenly disconnected. I open my mouth to yell at him, but before I can even try and squirm to get myself down, I'm suddenly hurling into the air, quickly falling down into the water.

Panic fills my mind as I realize I can't figure out how to get back to the surface, nor can I breathe in earth's 'water'. Suddenly, bubbles swish down all around me, and a hand grabs onto me, pulling me back up before my 'lungs' could give out. When my head finally breaches the surface, I gasp out, grasping onto whoever saved me. I'm met with laughter, from whom I realized to be Dib, who was supporting me. How the humans can stay above the surface I don't know. "How dare you laugh at zim!!" I yell, only getting more laughing in response

"I guess I should have made sure you know how to swim before throwing you in." I glare at him. If it wasn't for the fact he was the only thing keeping me above the water's surface, I would kill him . "Let's get you to where you can touch." Before I can question what he means by that, we are moving to the other side of the 'pool', having to dodge other Stinky! Humans and their worm babies. Eventually, I felt the floor against my feet, and when I was able to fully stand, I pushed Dib off of me.

I must admit..the pool is much cooler in the water. "You're lucky I don't harvest your organs for that, Dib stink," I huff, having to stop myself from staring...again. somehow, he looked even better wet. His stupid hair slicked back. The stupid sun reflecting off the stupid water on his stupid skin.. Everything about him just makes me feel all... mixed up and warm.. too warm.

"You're lucky I don't turn you in at the science museum, space boy." Dib says in that teasing tone that makes my squelch throb. "I still don't see how this is fun." I huff lowly "well..you kinda need to know how to swim, I guess." Dib laughs a bit."I didn't think about that part." I start to head tword the ladder, done with this 'pool'. I mainly just want to get away from Dib before I expose myself.. annoyingly, he follows me. "Hey zim, where are you going?" I huff at him."I'm done with your 'pool'. This isn't 'fun'" I reach for the ladder, but dib suddenly grabs my wrist "oh come on! It hasn't even been 2 minutes!" He suddenly pulls me away from the ladder and closer to him. I can feel my face heat up from that, my antennae flat against his chest. "I don't care! I want to leave. " I spit out quick, jerking myself away from him. Dib sighs and once again follows me to the ladder, this time allowing me to climb out, but for some reason, coming with me. "Fine, we can leave." I stop, "we?"

This is bad. I can't get away from him if he won't let me! "Yes we, the pool isn't as fun if it's just me. " he heads over to our chairs ,beginning to dry himself off and once again, making it impossible to be near him with almost drooling."Well..can't you just go home! Leave zim alone. " I snach my towel off the chair, drying myself off as well "because I'm bored. And you can't pretend you hate me, you're antennae are a dead giveaway." I freeze. What does he mean by that.. how does he know!? Does he know?! Did gir tell him! Oh, this was not good. Maybe I can play it off. "Tch, what to you know, you're just a stupid human!"

"Well.." Dib starts, walking closer to Me for some reason. Instead of backing away, I stay frozen. My eyes widen as he suddenly grabs one of my antennae. "Well, when you're actually annoyed, they stick up, and then they bend at almost a 90° angle. If you're sad I've noticed they're more droopy, but right now they're more..curved downwards. And I've noticed that's always a positive emotion..don't know the exact emotion, but I know you're not hating this as much as you claim." He give me that damn smile, and suddenly the sun isn't the only thing melting me. "You- you know nothing! You lie!" I yell. "Whatever you say zim... Anyway if you wanna leave here, then we're going to vibe at your place" he collects our things and begins to walk towards the gate without putting his shirt on.

I have to scramble to put on my boots, following behind him. "w- you're not going to put your shirt on???" Dib shrugs, walking out of the gate."Nah. It's too hot. " it's almost like he knows what he's doing to me. "Well- can I have mine??" Dib stops, looking at me with a smirk?? "Nah, it's fine, space boy. If people aren't looking at you for being green and clearly having antenna, I don't think they'll bat an eye to you being shirtless." What was that look for! Does he know?? All I can do is follow him back to my base and hope he's just...getting lucky.

-end of part 2 <3-

If anyone's wondering I end these when I get close to 1,500 words that's that's my sign to move on to the next part

Part 1 👇

[baahsu]

in my thinking about yonjis absurd strength era so woe yonji focused vscest appreciation post be upon ye

or more so specifically appreciation of how *easily* he could overpower pretty much all his siblings?? the only one we've seen be able to injure him in canon is sanji so he might be the exception but yk sanjis too much of a bottom to really fight back anyway lol

just. hear me out. yonji wanting to fuck a certain sibling and just.. looking at them for a moment before walking over to them, effortlessly picking them and then hauling them to the nearest private area. like imagine the first time this'd happen!!!

timeline wise he'd probably do it to niji first?? maybe yonji was watching niji flirting with a few service girls and then got unknowingly jealous- leading to him walking over and picking up niji in one arm, hauling his ass over his shoulder and bringing him to one of their bedrooms. niji was probably beating his hands against his back the whole time- face red, voice high pitched with embarrassment, and punches getting more and more aggressive until he was thrown onto a bed and *forced* to shut up.

idk i just think yonji should fuck niji dumb sometimes to get him to shut his noisy ass up 😌😌 niji deserves to be edged and teased to tears- not get fucked into oblivion- but hes hot as a bottom so ig he gets a pass. by the end of it i doubt he could talk, too high on good sex to form anything coherent… bimbo energy…

cant decide if reiju or ichiji would be next timeline wise but I'll go ichiji so reiju can start The Whipping post wci <3<3

but even saying that idrk what scenario would lead yonji to picking up ichi… uhhh hmm maybe… post 14ji mission the two r alone together and ichiji takes off his raidsuit in front of yonji, leaving him butt ass naked (a common occurrence that happens btwn the siblings even pre when they started fucking lol) and yonji is suddenly struck with the Vinsmoke Horny Gene™ which leads to him robotically walking over and picking ichi up :))

methinks yonji would pick ichiji up by folding his hands under his ass and trusting ichiji to wrap his legs around his waist (which ichi does, all while looking through his shades at yonji like "??" bc while hes not complaining/worried he IS confused lmao) this eventually leads to yonji carrying ichiji to the nearest bed, setting him down and just start *ravishing* him. by the end of it they're both numb (in a good way) and panting and ichiji looks over and says "Why didn't you just ask?" with yonji replying back w something along the lines of "Idk actually, you're just really hot." ichijis satisfied enough with that answer :]]

OKAY wci and sanji next <3<3

this ones easy for me- germa/124ji get sanj back and ofc immediately start wanting to fuck him upon seeing how hot hes become and sanji, while admittedly VERY confused and frightened, is like 'sure??' cause 124ji is hot and sex is sex lol. so sanjis walking (more like limping am i right :3c) around germa maybe a day or two before arriving at wci and yonjis just struck with the need to fuck him and fuck him *up* before he loses the vinsmoke name. so yonji walks over, throws that pretty boys ass into a firemans carry, and laughs as sanji is unable to fight back with his legs in that position.

yonji just drags him to a bedroom and throws him down before continuting to make sanji see stars- both because sanji looks good and pretty moaning underneath him and also bc this is kinda yonjis own fucked-up-horny-way of apologizing for all the bs he and 12ji put him thru. fuck away the trauma fahjkhjkklsas.. by the end of it sanjis only half conscious- covered in hickeys with a steady stream of blood coming out his nose and a stupid doped out smile on his face.. yonji likes that look on em

aaand last but not least mommy reijuuu <3<3<3

admittedly this one is more fluffy than smutty but 0&4 dynamic have a very specific place of joy in my heart so let me have this lol. so reijus out tryin on new clothes, yonji tagging along as her pack mule bc she promised him a reward 👀 for doing so, but as she walks out to keep showing off the outfits shes trying on (yonji just says they all look hot on her lmao) yonji eventually notices a creepy looking group of guys eyeing her up. now ofc reiju can take care of herself but.. whenever one of the dudes eyes linger too long on reijus ass whenever she walks out in a mini skirt well thats just too far for yonji. he straight up walks over to reiju, (gently) picks her up bridal style, and punches the douchebags through the wall on his way out. no they didnt pay for the clothes but the hells the store owner gonna do?? contest the man who put a hole in his wall??

anyways yonji carries her all the way back to a germa ship and only sets her down once they're alone and secure inside a bedroom- and reiju is IMMEDIATELY on him the second he puts her down (she could've gotten out of the hold anytime mind you- it was just a really sweet gesture so she didn't want to <3) her littlest brother?? showing concern for his nee-chan??? oh he deserves a reward :)) (his reward is being teased touched and ridden until hes screaming and drooling and laughing like a sex drunk idiot <3<3) what can reiju say?? that was a big step in yonjis journey of being able to Feel ofc she was gonna spoil him for a day ;]

HHAHA8AGIAH I PUT THIS IN A WORD DOC AND ITS LIKE OVER 1K WORDS LONG I AM SO SORRY 🙏🙈🙉

NO DON'T BE SORRY THIS IS THE BEST YONJI RELATED THING I'VE EVER READ EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS PERCEFT AND HOT AND DID I SAY PERFECT????

And it's even better because by the end he's starting to feel and omgkdjfksdfj but everything before that was so incredible too, his dynamic with each of the siblings was so accurate to me, I've never read 1k words so fat in my life, I WAS DEVOURING THIS

Niji being sort of tamed by yonji is incredibly hot, ichiji 100% trusting yonji is incredibly hot too, sanji having that starstruck look on him while covered in his nosebleeds is also incredibly hot and so reiju rewarding yonji. I'M ON MY KNEES OVER HERE, THANK YOU FOR THIS MASTERPIECE

[kiwichaeng]

hi! i hope your week is going well so far! i wrote a kind of stupid line today (for feb) and i just wanted to share it with you:

“I won’t set the house on fire,” TK promises. “And I won’t get pregnant or k*ll anyone or forget to lock the front door.”

i’m gonna give zero context, but please enjoy the ridiculousness of hs tk

see also: softness from october (bc we could all do with more soft hs tarlos in our lives …..right?)

“What was that for?” Carlos asks when they part, though the smile on his face suggests he isn’t complaining.

TK shrugs. “Just love you, that’s all.”

“It’s never ‘all’, Ty,” he replies, pecking his lips again. “It’s everything. And I love you, too.”

lots of love <33

HIIIII (I literally said that out loud like that when I saw the notification btw). My week's been whatever. Lots of fanfic and tea has been keeping me afloat

PLEASE THAT MADE ME LAUGH SO MUCH! I cannot WAIT to see the context lmao he's so ridiculous I love him so much!! He's so 😂😂

OH THE SOFTNESS!! They're kissing 🥺. Because they're in love 🥺. I will never be normal about this! AND??? IT'S EVERYTHING??? YEAH IT IS AND THAT'S SO FUCKING AMAZING DUDE!! They love each other 😭😭. I've been listening and crying to sad playlists today (dw just ship playlists) and like now there's these two!! And I love that so much!! Their love and softness is so precious to me!! 😭🩷🥺. Babies <33. Also?? TK kissing him just because he's in love with him and wants to hold on I can't do this-

Have a GREAT rest of your week 🩷🩷. Thank you so much for this. Sending good vibes!!

[illwriteatragedy]

I Am going to say five times kissed BC lil bby Roman and forehead kisses???

first.

phil coulson talks, and roman bragin listens. he will not speak unless something is directed to him, and he will not elaborate on anything further, testing the limits of phil's patience. he watches. and he waits. and he listens, because he has always been good at that, even in the midst of violence and chaos.

but phil does not get angry with him. he does not call him stupid, and he does not raise his hand when roman refuses to look at him, does not make a scene when he crosses his arms and doesn't answer his questions.

the first few days go like this. roman waits, expectant that it will come, but it never does. his guard is lowered, his hopes wavering into dangerous territory ( that maybe someone can be like this, after all. ) when phil places the covers over him that night, and presses a kiss to his hair, he calls to him before he leaves the room, voice small.

" goodnight, phil. " it is the first time he has said anything to him without being asked, first.

second.

he has a knack for languages. it is what phil has told him, what the other agent he that is tutoring him has said, but --

" i have to hurt people? " there is hesitation there. phil stands opposite of him, dressed in his gym clothes. they have been training together for months now, building up his strength, working on his body. martial arts was next. they would see which form would fit him best, but mma was where they would start.

you have to be able to defend yourself, no matter the cost. phil circles him as he speaks, forcing roman to spin his head to watch him. there will be people who want to take your life because of who you are. whether it be where you came from, whether it be because of shield, whether it be because of me --

phil stands in front of him now, and crouches down on one knee. he brushes the hair from his face and looks him in the eye. i will always have your back. but you need to survive, roman. that means hurting people. even killing them. do you understand?

there is a heavy gravity here that roman can feel, a pressure that separates his head from his heart. but phil looks at him with such intensity that roman can only nod. " i understand. " phil nods too, kisses his hair, and sends him flat on the floor.

third.

roman sits on the counter so he can see better. this time, he is the one who asks questions, leaning with his palms pressed on the marble. " do you think i'll get tall? " he asks after a barrage of cooking questions, still much shorter than phil's 6'5 height.

phil laughs, ruffles his curls up, nearly knocking him over. twelve is the perfect age for a growth spurt, he says, you've got a foot since eleven.

" a foot is nothing. " roman complains, watching the sauce thicken in the pan. " if you were my real dad i would have -- " he stops, clamps his mouth shut, the tips of his ears turning red. the kitchen goes quiet for a moment. in the other room, he can hear carol move around, painfully aware.

the fire on the pan is turned off. phil turns to him, leans against the counter. before he can say anything, roman is the one who speaks first. " i know -- you're my handler. not my dad. " he exits the kitchen in a hurry, going to his room.

( they have dinner that night. carol keeps looking at phil, waiting for him to say something, but he doesn't. when he goes to bed, he can feel phil sit on the side of the bed, but his back is turned -- the gentle kiss to his hair is ignored, and they both say nothing about it the next morning. )

fourth.

they're at a baseball game. the soda tastes wrong.

that's not right. it's the sharp metallic taste of blood. but -- there's the sun, and it's shining --

that's not right either. it's the fluorescent light fixture overhead. he has to focus, he just has to focus ---

but everything for just a minute is warm, and he's happy, and it might just be better if he stayed this way --

roman !

they're shining lights in his eyes. he can feel his body being moved, can hear them discussing what to do next. it all sounds jumbled in wrong. but amidst it all, he can hear one voice better than the rest, because he knows that voice --

you don't understand, that's my boy, you need to let me --

he realizes, with sudden jolting clarity, that he is in the hospital. a shock of pain rushes through him, tears forming in the corner of his eyes. through whatever they have shoved in his mouth, he tries to speak, voice weak. " i want my dad. " he manages to spit out whatever is in there. " i want my dad -- i want my dad -- "

everything after that is a blur. he knows that phil got to him, that he held his face, that they were able to do what they needed to do after he saw them. that he fell into a coma for a few days after to heal. that they both didn't talk about that, either, because it seemed they were always going to be good at not saying the things they needed to say.

fifth.

he is twenty-two, almost twenty-three, when he tells phil that he met a girl. roman only blushes when phil asks if she's blonde, and laughs when he says yes.

that's my boy, phil says, arm around his shoulder, a kiss to his temple, roman only three inches shorter now, that height he had always wanted to be. just like your old man.

[llycaons]

ep33 (3/3): lwj earring indulgence

people rarely make wwx as self-possessed or confident as he is in canon. I'll read fic where he's like 'lan zhan I am so sorry for breathing in your direction thank you so much for giving me a square mat to sleep on I promise to behave' and he'll be SO insecure and hesitant when that's really not him! for the most part he doesn't shy away from confronting lwj or getting into his business

it's just that lwj doesn't tell him shit bc he doesn't want wwx to feel obligated to lwj which is a great impulse but wwx also likes knowing how much people care about him so it's a bit of double-edged sword?

they're helpfully reminding us that this kid's name is yuan too

this made me laugh so hard. he's standing there with his ORIGINAL FACE in his classic black robes and red ponytale, playing a flute, and he thinks playing badly is a disguise? and THEN lwj gets mad at him for fumbling their song lmao

but wwx needn't have bothered bc lqr didn't realize anyway due to being comatose. until wwx woke him up with his bad flute playing

lqr having such a strong reaction to a flute is funny bc was he even on the front lines in sunshot? they said he didn't leave the mountain very often and it's not like he's a warrior. he's probably never seen wwx play

one of his top expressions

lwj is quite strict with lsz, in his own way. not in an aggressive way, but VERY expectant of obedience

there's one single female disciple here and she stayed in the back the entire conversation before coming forward for the water basin. what, are female disciples servants who are only used for healing?

this looks so cool. green suits wwx really well honestly

perhaps I have been unfair to lsz given how annoying his character is in fanfics and how obvious of a plot device he is. but he's a nice boy, and to my surprise he's also smart!! look at him thinking through problems!

encouraging to see wwx express sentiments that before his death, he really needed someone to tell him

coming back, I think he's become in a certain sense resigned to the things in his life that happened. no use getting angry or upset over them, some things you just can't change. and this is really sad, but it's also, hopefully, indicative of a more healthy mindset in his second life

"I naturally trust you' and that's what he needs to hear, baby

also seeing them standing together makes those 'huge top' fics so funny. they are literally almost exactly the same body type and build. no lwj is not a head taller. no he is not built like a brick shithouse, his hands are not large enough to encircle wwx's waist. if anything he is slightly taller and more slight in build, where wwx is slightly bulkier. but I think his height is because of his heeled boots

damn the jingshi is really so nice. I love hat porch area and the bridge over there.

right after wwx said 'it's pointing at the person who told it to commit crimes' ljy jumped and then glared at wwx haha

omg HORSES! I didn't know they used horses! wwx bouncing like a bobblehead hehe. and all the fics insisting he only uses little apple

HANGUANG-JUN PIERCED EARS SHOT. taking this to headcanon that lwj wears earrings. let lej be a little gnc. as a treat.

this was such a strange moment. lwj walked off and left wwx behind entirely. why???

oh and this was funny. this guy seling ugly portraits that wwx took offense to

THERE HE IS!!! THE MOST DISASTER BABY OF THEM ALL!!!!

this kid kicked a civilian in the chest for saying the name 'wei wuxian' in public. he might have already been sensitive and prone to fights, but clearly his parenting has been ABYSMAL

by 'his uncle' he is talking about jc. btw. I originally thought he was referring to himself, but it just makes more sense. ha.

I hate the fairy scene possible more than any other scene in this show. why is his face so comedically twisted? why is his running so stupid-looking? unbelievable that this happened in the same episode that made me cry my eyes out

personal highlights

oh the rite of spring was INSPIRED

all of wwx's crying this episode. all of it. beautiful

cgi sword stabbing a hand my beloved <3 <3 <3

lwj's broken little 'wei ying' at the very end

everything about the jingshi opening scene. the music. the lighting. the atmosphere. the calm

wwx seeing his younger and more innocent self frolic about. as stated, I was inconsolable. I've always liked it but after today, it's going to be a very special scene to me

lwj's sexy whip scars and mysterious chest brand. can't help it. I love them. and wwx's seriousness and care during that scene was really nice too

lqr being roused by bad flute music, yelling at them to stop, then slipping into a coma and wwx sitting there like 😬 'whoops' with that funny face

wwx sitting with the bamboo background looking all cool

[zyafics-recs]

IM FINALLY HERE, i've been craving some fluff so here's hoping <3 ⬇️

You: Brody, did u seriously invite rafe cameron to drive home with us??

why did i read this in this voice

You could see your breath, fog filling the air with each shivering exhale as you pulled your coat tighter around your shoulders. Even after three-and-a-half years, you’d never gotten used to these North Eastern winters.

i highlighted this paragraph bc i thought it was cute + pretty

Rafe usually gave people about ten seconds before he decided if he liked them or not. A lethal combination of impatience and general distrust that he disguised seamlessly under cocky confidence.

i liked ur characterization of rafe, bc ykw? hell ya

“Sorry to make you wait, I needed my beauty sleep,” he raised his hands in defense, lips curling back to display his shiny white smile. “You don’t think this all just happens naturally do you?” He gestured to his face.

he's so

“I will when you agree to give me a ride,” his lips twisted and his voice dropped, aimed down at you, “or we can keep standing here and talking about my body.”

UGH HE'S SO

*inhales sharp breath*

“Please? All flights are sold out and I’d really like to see my little sisters for Christmas,” he blinked his wide blue eyes, mustering up all the sincerity he could find.

THIS BASTARD

“Sorry about the rattling,” you said, needlessly gesturing toward the dash, which shook steadily with the hum of the engine. “She’s a good car, but she’s got creaky bones.”

girly—me—don't apologize

“That’s such bullshit, this girl in my hall freshman year showed me all your texts, you totally gaslit her.”  “Gaslit? Me? You’re crazy…” he said.

they're fun

“My high school GPA was 3.98 actually,” you said weakly. “And I don’t like this game.”

actually it was a 4.54

“Before we left, you said you had to be home at six. What’s at six?”  “Oh, uh, it’s kind of silly actually, you wouldn’t get it,” you sat back in your seat, finally accepting that the car in front of you wasn’t moving anytime soon.

i love ur writing

“Oh no, believe me they really are. I’m not usually into gingerbread either but these are seriously the best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth.”

no we walked in that one i swear

“Let me guess, the other driver was so blinded by your dazzling smile that they crashed right into you?”  “There was no other driver,” he said, smirking with a sidelong glance in your direction. “Glad to know you think my smile is that powerful though.”

WHY IS HE SO CHARMING

It took everything in him not to snap back with a “you don’t even fucking know me,” but he remained silent. Biting his tongue was a new taste to him, he didn’t like it, but he didn’t like the feeling of you being pissed at him either. Today was a day of firsts.

oh he's so in love with us he's stupid

The sweatshirt was about two sizes too big but so warm and comfortable you didn’t care. You expected it to smell like some cheap cologne or boy sweat, but instead it smelled like something sweet and inviting - fabric softener, you realized with a grin. You’d tease him for that later.

THAT'S SO CUTE

It was such a foreign concept to him he almost laughed. He was still playing the angle that he was desperate to get home to his family so you’d give him a ride. He couldn’t tell you the truth; that he wasn’t sure anyone at his house even remembered he was coming, that Christmases in the Cameron house for the last decade were more about the pictures his father could put on the cards he sent to clients than they were about celebrating, or love. 

why would u do this to me i demanded fluff i don't want to deal with real emotions

“How’s he gonna come down the chimney if you keep the fire going?” Rafe questioned logically. “Oh Rafe, I’m so sorry I have to be the one to tell you this…but Santa isn’t real,” you placed your hand on his arm like you were trying to console him. 

STOP I LOVE THIS

It sounded so nice, so idyllic and comforting, like a Hallmark card. Jealousy roared in his chest, hoping you couldn’t see it on his face as he pictured the much colder, tension filled holiday that was awaiting him.

ok this hurted

You shot up in your seat and grabbed the wheel, sure that you were about to go flying off the road any second. But the wheel was locked, and there was no engine’s rumble shaking the dash. The car was off. 

i just liked this paragraph especially bc i struggle with writing about scenes in car settings i just liked how u construct ur words

“I’m gonna kill you,” you mumbled. “Okay, well can it wait until we’re on dry land? I get seasick and I want it to be a fair fight.”

he's so flirty ohmygod

The last question was said with a raised voice, aggression seeping into his tone. He made like he was about to say something else, but was cut-off, his shoulders falling as the voice on the other end got so loud that it carried all the way to your car. You couldn’t make out the words, but whoever he was talking to was clearly shouting even louder than Rafe had just been.

man in every universe even this hallmark looking ass ward is still a bitch

Home. Yours, warm and full of love. His, empty and dark.

STOP

“You owe me a cookie.”

STOP THIS IS SO CUTE

ZYA FINAL NOTE & RAMBLES ૮₍´｡ᵔ ꈊ ᵔ｡`₎ა 💌 — i can't believe it took me this long to read ur work, nat, because i am fundamentally, terminologically, legally obsessed (what am i saying?) anyways. there's so many things i want to highlight that i thought was so captivating! first: i love ur characterization of rafe, i think it hints as a playboy-flirty-charismatic asshole who's lovable enough where u want to jump his bones (whosaidthattt). i love the little clips of rafe in canon—him using sarah and wheezie as an excuse to go home, him hating christmas, him feeling bitter and resentment about reader having a good home life, and him being alone because his family went to the bahamas? yeah. especially the phone call? yeah. don't kill me in one chapter, ok? second: one of the standout things about ur writing is how true and real it is—using little details that makes the sense feel like a movie. a film. a hallmark rented on cable. you get me? the little details in how she has a family tradition with the cookies. the way she pulled out the map and gps. the near-crash scene where she spilled her coke. the callback to said coke when she went inside to buy something but they don't accept cards under $5. the fabric softener moment. even the ferry scene where they're on the ferry. it feels so real and authentic, especially because it's these little details that make up the larger scene. third: u enraptured me with our banter. especially because it bounces off each other so well! i adore the santa claus one, because i thought it was so well-planned. the way u write ur dialogues is like beats, like a tennis match hinting back and forth and they just carelessly flow. fourth and lastly: u have this gift of balancing emotional raw moments with the playfulness of the setting. this, i believe, is truly a gift because i struggle on it so badly. the way u were able to balance shameless flirting paired with real, grounded emotions of rafe's family and his lack of christmas holidays, or casual talks with her alluding to her mother's (illness?) and the cookies. it was so beautiful. this is an absolute talent and i'm so happy i got to read this <3

home for the holidays (part one) - r.c.

❄️ a frat!rafe cameron holiday mini series ❄️

summary a simple favor for a friend ends with you reluctantly bringing Rafe Cameron, resident campus fuckboy, home for the holidays. It’s gonna take more than a little mistletoe for him to win you over…

content “enemies” to lovers, copious amounts of flirting, eventual smut, a dash of familial angst, parental illness and mentions of parental death, 18+ mdni

Brodyyy <3: hey thanks again for offering to give me a ride back to nc for break!

You: ofc! anything for u after u gave me those o chem notes bestie

Brodyyy <3: i’m glad to hear ya say that…bc i have one more favor to ask

You: what’s up?

Brodyyy <3: one of my frat bros needs a ride back too, can he join?

You: does he live near us?

Brodyyy <3: he’s from obx but if you get us to my house I can take him the rest of the way in my mom’s car, so no extra driving for you!

You: yeah then i guess that’s cool!!

You: as long as i’m home before 6pm on the 21st i’m good

Brodyyy <3: cookie day?

You: exactly, u get me

Brodyyy <3: dw we’ll get you home in time for cookies! Tysm!

You: np!

You: what’s his name btw?

Brodyyy <3: …

You: *questioned* “what’s his name btw?”

Brodyyy <3: rafe

You: be so fr rn

You: as in cameron???

You: Brody, did u seriously invite rafe cameron to drive home with us??

Hour one

You could see your breath, fog filling the air with each shivering exhale as you pulled your coat tighter around your shoulders. Even after three-and-a-half years, you’d never gotten used to these North Eastern winters. The plan was to be well on your way towards a milder climate by now, but here you were, leaning against the open hatchback trunk of your car, desperately clutching your hot coffee as you waited for your friend to show up. With his friend. You rolled your eyes as you checked the time on your phone for the hundredth time, none of your many texts to Brody returned.

“Brody, I swear to god,” you mumbled under your breath, “five more minutes and I’m leaving your ass.”

Time ticked on without any sight of him. With a resigned sigh, you reached up to close the trunk.

“Hey wait up!” a voice called from behind you. You whipped around to find its owner.

Standing a few feet back on the sidewalk, sherpa lined corduroy jacket, backpack slung over his shoulder and obnoxiously handsome smirk painted on his face, was Rafe Cameron. Notorious playboy, frat president, and hands down your least favorite person on this campus. 

It wasn’t a big school, everyone knew Rafe Cameron. All of your friends had crushes on him, some of them even managed to hook up with him or have stories of making out with him at frat parties. Every Friday night, he popped up on every Insta story on campus, somehow everywhere at once, and yet your paths had never crossed directly. You were okay with that. You knew his type well enough.

“I’m Rafe,” he interjected when you didn’t greet him.

“I know,” you said dryly.

“My reputation precedes me?” He grinned, his slight southern drawl reminding you of home with a pang of nostalgia, until you remembered that this guy was from a completely different world than you.

“I wouldn’t be too proud of that,” you shot back, slamming the trunk closed. “Where’s Brody?”

Rafe usually gave people about ten seconds before he decided if he liked them or not. A lethal combination of impatience and general distrust that he disguised seamlessly under cocky confidence. Your arms were crossed in hostility as you frowned at him, even though he’d barely said two words to you. 

Ah yes, he knew exactly your type. You were that irritating brand of stuck up smart girl who always saw right through him. Sure, you were surprisingly really pretty, a fact Brody had forgotten to mention, but annoying nonetheless. He decided right then not to like you, since you so clearly had already decided not to like him. 

“He’s not coming,” Rafe informed you. “Didn’t he tell you?”

“No, he didn’t,” you huffed, “Is he okay?”

“Yeah, he got a gig with a professor to be a research assistant, but he’s gotta stay on campus to do it,” he explained.

“He could’ve told me,” you rolled your eyes, checking the time again to calculate how far behind his no-show had made you. “I’m gonna have to adjust the schedule.”

“The schedule?” He cocked his head, picking up on the tightly wrinkled knot in your forehead as you pulled a folded piece of graph paper from your pocket.

It was color coded and intricate, every mile, every meal, every gas stop accounted for, down to the minute. You had a pencil in your hair, tucked neatly into your messy bun so you could pull it out quickly and make necessary changes, as you were doing now. You held the paper up against the side of your car, erasing and scribbling intensely as you recalculated the trip. 

“I need to be home by six at the latest, it’s nine now, that leaves only an hour for stops and traffic, we were supposed to leave at eight…” you looked up to eye him pointedly as you said the last part, silently blaming him for the delay as you did your mental math.

“Sorry to make you wait, I needed my beauty sleep,” he raised his hands in defense, lips curling back to display his shiny white smile. “You don’t think this all just happens naturally do you?” He gestured to his face.

You tucked the paper back into your pocket as you eyed him up and down, unimpressed and yet simultaneously beginning to understand why all your girlfriends had fallen so easily for this douchebag. He was handsome, sharp features permanently set in an arrogant smirk. His body was tall and lean yet built, enough that you could tell he was muscular even under all those layers. His dirty blonde hair sat messy over his forehead, sticking out at all angles in a way that made it clear he’d just woken up. 

But you were smart, life and your high IQ made you an expert in reading people. You could see right through him.

“I wasn’t waiting for you, I was waiting for Brody,” you shut him down. “And since he’s apparently not coming, I’m gonna hit the road,” you slammed the trunk closed, pulling your keys from your pocket and making your way to the driver’s side door.

You opened the door, fully intending to climb in and drive off on your own, but Rafe appeared quickly by your side, closing the door before you could climb in.

“Woah, woah, wait,” he said, his arm out next to your head to hold the door closed.

You scoffed at his boldness and stepped back, “uhm excuse me!”

“You’re excused,” he smirked down at you. “How am I gonna get home?”

“Greyhound station is that way,” you pointed over your shoulder, trying to push him out of the way of your door, but he was too sturdy to be moved. He leaned back against the door and crossed his arms, planting himself.

“I’d rather ride with you,” he flashed you a devilish grin you just knew he was used to throwing around like currency.

“Dude, can you just let me into my car?” You shut him down.

“What’s the magic word?” God, did this guy have a punchable face.

“Please,” you reluctantly let out through gritted teeth.

“Hmm, no,” he turned it back on you, planting his feet firmly on the ground, both of you knowing there was no way you were gonna be able to overpower his large frame.

“Okay seriously? I know you’re used to using your body to get what you want, but it’s not gonna work this time,” you were done fucking around, an invisible clock ticking in your mind while your trip was delayed even further by this jackass. “Get away from my car.”

“I will when you agree to give me a ride,” his lips twisted and his voice dropped, aimed down at you, “or we can keep standing here and talking about my body.”

You couldn’t help but blush, and he couldn’t help but like it. The embarrassment at the involuntary response only fueled your anger.

“Why would I do that? I don’t even know you,” it wasn’t entirely true, you knew more than you cared to know about him. Or at least, in this moment, you thought you did.

“Brody said you owe him a favor right? Do it for him,” he suggested.

“If he wanted to cash in on his favor, he should’ve been here himself.”

“Okay then, what if I paid for gas? What was Brody gonna do, go 50/50 with you? I’ll cover the whole trip,” he reached into his pocket and pulled out a thick leather wallet, opening it to flash you his black card. 

You couldn’t help but also notice the polaroids tucked in the see-through pockets. On one side, what appeared to be a family photo; Rafe, an older man and two young girls smiling on a giant boat. On the other side, some sorority girls in bikinis, flashing the camera at a charity car wash. Who the fuck was this guy? 

“Brody was also gonna take you the rest of the way to the Outer Banks. I’m going west and there’s no way I’m getting on a ferry, how are you gonna get home?” You reasoned, though he could hear in your tone that you were starting to actually consider saying yes. 

Time to bring it home, he thought.

“I’ll figure it out. Just get me to the ferry and I’ll be fine. I’ll be eternally grateful, I’ll owe you a big favor. And I never do people favors.”

“The more you talk, the less I want to be stuck in a car with you for eight hours,” you said. 

Dammit, his plan backfired. But he hadn’t missed the way you eyed the picture of him with his dad, Sarah and Wheezie in his wallet. Maybe he could use that to his advantage.

“Please? All flights are sold out and I’d really like to see my little sisters for Christmas,” he blinked his wide blue eyes, mustering up all the sincerity he could find.

Family was your weak spot, you wondered if Brody had told him that. As much as you truly did not want to get in this cramped, two-door car with him, you felt bad picturing the two little girls waiting patiently for their big brother to come home for Christmas. Ugh.

With a deep sigh, you finally said, “fine.” 

Rafe slapped his hand on the car’s roof in celebration, reveling in his victory as he finally stepped away from your door.

“I’ll get you to the ferry and that’s it,” you qualified, trying to dampen his enthusiasm. “I need to be home by six, if I’m late you’re gonna owe me a lot more than a favor.”

He crossed his fingers over his heart solemnly, “scout’s honor!”

“You can throw your stuff in the backseat,” you instructed, your trunk already full to the brim with presents for your family.

“What, you got too much junk in your trunk?” He chuckled at his own joke as he jogged around to the passenger’s side.

You rolled your eyes hard as you climbed in the driver’s seat. This was gonna be the longest eight hours of your life.

Hour two

The heat in your car was cranked at full blast, but you were still shivering as you drove. This car was a hand-me-down from your dad, it got you back and forth to school, but left plenty to be desired in the way of amenities.

Based on the designer watch he was wearing and his Gatsby-esque reputation, you were pretty confident this was the least fancy car Rafe had ever been in.

“Sorry about the rattling,” you said, needlessly gesturing toward the dash, which shook steadily with the hum of the engine. “She’s a good car, but she’s got creaky bones.”

“It’s cool,” he shrugged, pulling a pack of gum out of his coat pocket.

“I’m sure the G-wagons you’re used to don’t shake when you accelerate.”

Rafe popped a piece of gum in his mouth, snapping it obnoxiously between his teeth as he looked over at you, head cocked in observation.

“You don’t like me,” he surmised simply.

Your mouth fell open slightly, startled by how directly he clocked you, “I- I barely know you.”

“Then why do you roll your eyes everytime I open my mouth?”

“Maybe I just don’t like what you have to say.”

His eyes narrowed, considering this for a moment before deciding, “nah, I think it’s something else. Did we have a class together or something?”

“No, just a couple mutual friends,” you smiled the fakest of smiles.

“Yeah? Like who?”

“Girls you’ve ghosted mainly,” you said.

“Whaaat, me? Ghost someone? I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he smirked.

“Yeah right,” you shook your head with an incredulous laugh that only widened his grin. “You know exactly what I mean, you ghost them and then you gaslight them that you were never a thing to begin with. We call it the Rafe Cameron special.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, I’ve never done that,” he said.

“That’s such bullshit, this girl in my hall freshman year showed me all your texts, you totally gaslit her.” 

“Gaslit? Me? You’re crazy…” he said.

You almost took the bait, mouth opened indignantly to argue again before you finally caught onto his game and the growing prideful smirk on his face. He was fucking with you.

You turned the music up, blocking him out as he chuckled under his breath in the seat next to you, ever so pleased with himself.

“Oh, c’mon, lighten up,” he tilted his body toward you, his long legs cramped in the small space of your front seat. 

He placed his hand on the back of your headrest, his arm easily reaching the distance between you. 

“It’s college, it’s not that serious. Everybody’s hooking up and breaking up. I mean, I’m sure you’ve had your fair share of flings,” his eyes ran up and down your body with that final remark.

You stumbled over your response. You weren’t necessarily a shy person, but you didn’t walk around discussing your personal life as openly as he apparently does. 

“I…can you stop looking at me like that please?”

“Looking at you like what?” He grinned, feigning innocence.

“Like you know me at all.”

“You’re right, I don’t,” he nodded. “Though I think I’ve pretty much figured you out.”

“Oh have you?” Your eyebrows shot up.

“Yeah, I mean, I have my guesses at least…”

“Please, share with the class,” you turned the radio down to better hear his absurdity, sure that he was full of shit.

“You were top of your class in high school, graduating with a…3.97 GPA,” he began. “You got in automatic acceptance to a bunch of state schools but you insisted on going to your reach, which thrilled your parents I’m sure. College isn’t as easy as high school, but you’ve settled around an A minus average final grade. You’re not in a sorority, I would’ve seen you at a mixer, but you’re definitely in some organized groups. Not sports, that’s not practical enough, it’s gotta be something where you can do some networking. Brody said you’re what, pre-med? So you’re probably in some kind of medical honors society. I bet you’ve had only one serious boyfriend, maybe a long distance high school sweetheart, but you’re too focused on school to make that work so you dumped his ass. A few hook ups since then, but nothing real. How am I doing?”

Your eyes were glued to the road, face gone ashen as he continued to nail correct guess after correct guess.

“My high school GPA was 3.98 actually,” you said weakly. “And I don’t like this game.”

Rafe had never been more smug, beaming triumphantly at your confirmation of all his assumptions.

“Don’t worry, I’m done playing,” he leaned forward to take off his coat, balling it up to use as a pillow so he could lean his head on the window. “Wake me up when at the next scheduled stop, will ya?”

“No promises,” you grumbled, making him smile as he drifted off to sleep.

Hour three

Bright red brake lights glowed in a line stretched out in front of you for a mile. You sighed deeply, your foot sore from holding down the brake for a full ten minutes. Resigned, you finally gave in and put the car in park, eyeing the clock on the dash anxiously.

Rafe snored. Loudly.

You shot him a bitter glare as he sat passed out in the passenger seat, blissfully unaware of the stop-and-go traffic jam you had gotten stuck in, enjoying his free ride and interrupting your music with his loud snores. Out of spite, you leaned forward and turned up the radio until your music was practically blaring through the speakers.

Somehow, like even in his sleep he knew how to push your buttons, he started snoring louder. You turned the music up as high as it would go, singing along at the top of your lungs until he finally started stirring, eyes blinking open. You quickly turned down the music, stifling a laugh at the confused, grumpy look on his face.

“We’re not moving,” he mumbled, groggily taking in your surroundings.

“You have great observational skills,” you teased him.

“You didn’t think to account for traffic on your little itinerary?” He said smugly.

“I did,” you defended yourself, “just not until we passed through DC. This part of I-95 isn’t usually so packed.”

Rafe sat up in his seat, not having much room to stretch out his legs but trying anyway. He watched the way you were chewing on the inside of your cheek, nervously tapping your hands on the steering wheel.

“So what’s happening at six o’clock?” He asked, trying to pull you from your anxious thoughts.

“Hmm?”

“Before we left, you said you had to be home at six. What’s at six?” 

“Oh, uh, it’s kind of silly actually, you wouldn’t get it,” you sat back in your seat, finally accepting that the car in front of you wasn’t moving anytime soon.

“Try me,” he said.

You looked at him, trying to decide if you wanted to share and risk his getting his rude opinion on something so special to you. But you were hungry, and tired, and stressed, and honestly, after a few too many hours in his charismatic orbit, you were looking for more reasons not to like him.

“It’s because of cookies,” you admitted.

“Cookies?” He cocked his eyebrow, trying to maintain his non-judgemental stance.

“My mom makes these gingerbread cookies that are literally the best thing I’ve ever tasted. They’re so good, she makes them every christmas, but she only makes one batch. It’s an old family recipe her mom left her when she passed away and my mom said she isn’t supposed to give it to me until she’s…gone…”

You paused to swallow hard, like there were more words fighting their way out. Feeling a little too vulnerable with Rafe’s eyes on you, you pushed them back down. 

“…anyway, I have three younger brothers, and they get home from their practices at six. The second they walk in the door, they’ll attack those cookies and there won’t be any left for me. So I need to get home before them or I’ll have to wait a whole year for more cookies.”

You watched him out of the corner of your eye as he decided whether or not he was gonna tease you.

Finally he landed on, “gingerbread, really? They can’t possibly be that good.”

“Oh no, believe me they really are. I’m not usually into gingerbread either but these are seriously the best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth.”

Rafe’s eyebrows shot up, smirking at you from his side of the car. It took a second for you to hear your own double entenadre. 

“Oh shut up,” you laughed, reaching over to swat his arm.

“I didn’t say anything!” He pretended to wince, rubbing the spot on his arm you’d hit dramatically. You flexed your hand, surprised that it stung a little, his arm firmer than you were expecting. 

“You question the cookies and then you mock me,” you shook your head. “I should make you get out and walk the rest of the way.”

“No, no!” He chuckled. “I would never question the cookies. I’m sure they’re delicious. Don’t make me walk.”

You zeroed your eyes in on him, “fine. You're safe. For now.”

He wiped his forehead playfully, mouthing a silent ‘phew!’

After a few minutes, traffic started moving again, though painfully slowly. Rafe was drumming along to the radio on the dashboard, growing more impatient by the second. His fidgeting reminded you of a bored toddler.

“Why can’t you mom just make more cookies?” He blurted out.

Your grip tightened on the wheel as sudden brake lights ahead of you forced you to slam on your own brake yet again. This was the direction you were hoping the conversation wouldn’t head in.

“She, uh…she just makes the one batch,” you tried to shrug the question off, but he was too busy tapping away and shifting in his seat to notice your growing discomfort.

“I mean how long can it take? A couple hours maybe? I bet she could just -”

“She just can’t, okay?” You snapped, your growing irritation with the traffic jam making the words come out a little sharper than you’d intended. You took a deep breath when his eyes snapped toward you, “sorry. She just…she can only make one.”

Rafe nodded, his bottom lip sticking out as he returned his attention to his phone, typing rapidly.

“Alright then, take the next exit,” he said.

“What?”

“In a half mile on the right, take that exit,” he repeated.

“Why?” you asked.

“I found a faster route,” he explained. “Let’s get you those cookies.”

Hour four

Rafe was right, the alternate route he found for you had caught you up to schedule, even putting you about twenty miles ahead of where you expected to be by this point.

With the made up time, Rafe finally convinced you to stop for food, and, after several minutes of arguing, to let him drive the next stretch.

It was amazing how much your mood improved with some food in your system. Now that you weren’t the one behind the wheel, it was you shuffling restlessly in the seat, unfolding and refolding your schedule and refreshing the GPS on your phone every couple of minutes. 

“In one hundred and twenty two miles, veer left…” refresh “in one hundred and twenty miles, veer left…” refresh “in one hundred and nineteen miles-“

“Veer left! It’s gonna keep saying the same thing every time, you really don’t need to keep refreshing it,” Rafe grunted.

You shot him a glare, making a show of turning your phone off and tucking it in your pocket. 

“Remind me why you couldn’t just drive yourself?” You snarled. “What, is the Beamer in the shop?”

“It’s a Range Rover, actually,” he corrected you, pulling forth yet another eye roll from you as you mumbled ‘of course it is.’ “And yes, actually, it is.”

“Ah, you pimping your ride?”

He snorted, “what is it 2005? No, I, uh, totaled it, actually.”

“I knew I shouldn’t let you drive,” you winced, grabbing the handle above the passenger door theatrically.

“Relax, it wasn’t my fault,” he assured you.

“Let me guess, the other driver was so blinded by your dazzling smile that they crashed right into you?” 

“There was no other driver,” he said, smirking with a sidelong glance in your direction. “Glad to know you think my smile is that powerful though.”

You regretted your word choice immediately, your brain was working so fast to deflect his charm you had lost the plot a bit. You scrambled to put the focus back on him so he wouldn’t see the way you were blushing.

“Okay so what’s the story then?” You asked.

“It’s really not that interesting. I was driving around campus and there was something in the street, I swerved and hit a tree, that’s it,” he reached to turn the radio a little louder, your eyes narrowing at the avoidant tone he’d adopted.

“You saw ‘something?’ What ‘something’ did you see?” You pressed, amused by his discomfort.

“Just, uhm, an animal in the road,” he said dismissively.

You nodded, a little “ah” leaving your lips as you returned your gaze to the window. You tapped your fingers on your thigh to the beat of the song. You wanted to know more, he knew you wanted to know more. The tension broke quick.

“What kind of animal was -”

“Ohhh my god, you’re so nosy, it was-“ he cut himself off momentarily to lower his voice, “it was a bunny alright?”

Your laugh was immediate and loud, head falling back at the image he’d conjured for you.

“Alright, it’s not that funny but whatever,” he rolled his eyes, unable to suppress the little curve of his lips at the pretty sound of your unguarded giggles. 

“No, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you said between laughs, wiping the tears from the corner of your eyes, “it’s not funny. It’s nice. You crashed your Range Rover trying to save a little rabbit. I just didn’t expect Rafe Cameron to break for bunnies, it’s very cute.”

Rafe never got flustered, he practically majored in flirting, it never phased him. So why the fuck was he blushing like a little kid right now?

Get your shit together, Cameron, he thought, she’s just some girl.

“So you and Brody, y’all sleeping together or...?”

Your laughter stopped dead in its tracks, head snapping towards him as your jaw slammed shut.

Pointedly not answering him, you grabbed your Coke from the cupholder and took a long sip.

“Is that a yes?” he continued. 

“Not that it’s any of your business,” you cut him off, fiddling with the straw, “but no, we’re just old friends.”

Long gone was the playful air of the bunny story. Unable to recover and get a positive reaction from you, he figured he might as well dig himself deeper. In for a penny…

“But, c’mon, you’re saying you two have seriously never…”

“Ew no, he’s literally like my brother,” you shut him down. “Why do you care so much? You jealous?”

Fuck, he hadn’t meant to give you the upper ground, he needed to level the field. 

“You just seemed pretty upset when you found out he wasn’t coming is all. Like, I dunno, a woman scorned and all that…”

“Have you considered it’s because I realized I was gonna be stuck in a car alone with you for eight hours?”

Thoroughly pissed off, you sank down in your seat and continued sipping your Coke, avoiding looking at him by counting the mile markers on the side of the highway. 

Rafe looked over at you, taking in the flex of your jaw as you stewed. He usually didn’t give a fuck if his words offended people. He preferred it, actually. But something about the shape of your smile and the sound of your laughter made him wish you were always happy. He felt like shit for making it go away, then he felt like shit for feeling like shit given his decision not to like you.

His eyes stayed on you for longer than they should, studying the shape of your silhouette in the soft light of the December sun. 

“Watch out!” You shrieked suddenly.

Rafe’s eyes shot forward and he realized with panic that he’d been veering off the road, the front of the car dangerously skewed in the direction of the metal guard rail. 

“Fuck!” 

He cut the wheel hard, overshooting his correction and causing the car to jerk sharply to the left. In your concern, you gripped your drink so hard the lid came off, your ice cold diet coke splashing out of the cup and all over you.

Rafe redirected the car until it was back in the correct lane, but you were already covered in diet soda. Coke dripped from your hair onto your face, your mouth hung wide open in shock and fury.

“Shit, my bad,” Rafe said, reaching in the fast food bag for some napkins.

He started dabbing it completely unhelpfully at your shoulder and you ripped the napkin from his hands.

“This is my favorite shirt, ugh what the fuck Rafe!” You scolded him, trying to use the napkins with very little luck, the shirt was definitely ruined.

“I said I’m sorry! Jesus calm down, it’s not like I did it on purpose,” he huffed at you, hating that he liked how you said his name, even when you were yelling at him.

“No of course not, you never do anything on purpose,” you quipped.

It took everything in him not to snap back with a “you don’t even fucking know me,” but he remained silent. Biting his tongue was a new taste to him, he didn’t like it, but he didn’t like the feeling of you being pissed at him either. Today was a day of firsts.

“We’re gonna have to stop so I can get a new shirt from the trunk,” you said.

Eager to return to familiar territory, he jumped at the opportunity to antagonize you, shaking his head and tsking condescendingly, “no can do, there’s no stops on the schedule for an hour.”

“Okay well this is obviously an extenuating circumstance,” you argued.

“So was me wanting to stop at that outlet mall to get presents for my family, but we didn’t stop then,” he countered.

“Right, because those things are comparable,” you scoffed. “It’s not my fault you waited until the last second to do your Christmas shopping.”

You were right, but he still resented the know-it-all tone in your accusation.

“Well I’m the driver and I say we’re sticking to the schedule,” he doubled down.

“So I’m just supposed to sit here covered in soft drink for the rest of the trip?”

“I have an old sweatshirt in my bag you can borrow,” he offered.

The urge to continue fighting with him until he agreed to pull over was strong, but the urge to get out of the cold, sticky shirt was stronger. With a sigh, you climbed into the backseat and dug through Rafe’s bag until you found a soft, worn out hoodie with a logo on the front that said “Kildare Academy Lacrosse” and on the back “Cameron #44.”

You reached down to peel off your shirt, looking up first to catch Rafe watching you through the rear view mirror. Your hands paused on the hem, giving him a steely look.

“Uh, a little privacy please?” 

His eyes continued flicking between you and the road, “I just wanna see if you found the right sweatshirt,” he claimed.

You let out an indignant tsk, mouth open in disbelief when he gave you a little wink through the mirror. You reached forward and smushed your hand into his cheek, pushing his head back toward the road. He bit his bottom lip, trying to play nonchalant as you stripped off your shirt just inches behind him. He might act like a playboy, but he did actually have enough respect not to look at you while you changed.

Still, keeping his eyes on the road meant seeing the fuzzy form of you in his peripheral vision. The general hue of your skin tone and the swift movement of you pulling your shirt over your head sucked some of the air from his usually puffed-out chest. He felt like he was twelve years old, the way just the thought of you shirtless in the backseat made his hands clammy and his heart pick up speed. He needed to get a grip.

The sweatshirt was about two sizes too big but so warm and comfortable you didn’t care. You expected it to smell like some cheap cologne or boy sweat, but instead it smelled like something sweet and inviting - fabric softener, you realized with a grin. You’d tease him for that later.

Hour five

Somewhere in the middle-of-nowhere Virginia, your gas light came on. You agreed to let him drive for another fifty miles after a quick gas station pit stop, planning to take the allotted thirty minute nap you’d mapped out on your schedule before driving the rest of the way.

Rafe paid for the gas, as promised, and stood by the car as he filled your tank. You never did get to finish your Diet Coke, so you ran inside to grab another while he pumped.

“That’ll be $2.79, dear,” the cashier told you, her southern accent and charm a tell-tale sign that you were nearing home.

With a smile, you pulled out your debit card and held it out for her to swipe.

“Sorry sweetheart, there’s a five dollar minimum for cards,” she informed you politely.

“Oh, okay,” you looked around the counter for something to add, swiping some knick-knacks from their display to round up your bill.

----❄----

The car door slammed as Rafe climbed back in next to you, balling up the receipt for the gas and tossing it into the backseat.

“How much was it?” You asked.

“Don’t worry about it,” he shrugged, turning the key as the engine sputtered to life. 

You shouldn’t feel bad, he offered to pay, and you were technically the one doing him a favor. Still, you were raised by blue collar parents, ‘neither a borrower nor a lender be’ and elbow grease was gospel in your home. You felt like you needed to give him something.

“Here,” you passed him the bag of trinkets you’d bought inside.

Rafe looked in the bag with a confused grin.

“What am I supposed to do with these?” He laughed as he pulled the items out of the bag.

“You could…give them to your sisters,” you suggested.

“What are they gonna do with a Thomas Jefferson snow globe and a bumper sticker that says ‘Virginia is for Lovers’?”

“Well it’s better than a slip of paper that says ‘IOU one christmas present,’” You teased him.

“Y’know what? Very true,” he nodded, tucking the bag of goodies in the backseat and pulling out of the gas station. 

The drive was silent for a few minutes. You leaned forward, resting your arms on the dash as you watched the emerging silhouette of the Blue Ridge Mountains on the far horizon. It was all getting so close; a crackling fire, drinking hot cocoa while watching How The Grinch Stole Christmas with your brothers, decorating the tree, those gingerbread cookies…

“What are you smiling about?” Rafe’s voice interrupted your revelry.

“I’m just excited to get home and see my family,” you said with a happy smile. “Aren’t you?”

It was such a foreign concept to him he almost laughed. He was still playing the angle that he was desperate to get home to his family so you’d give him a ride. He couldn’t tell you the truth; that he wasn’t sure anyone at his house even remembered he was coming, that Christmases in the Cameron house for the last decade were more about the pictures his father could put on the cards he sent to clients than they were about celebrating, or love. 

“Uh, yeah, ‘course,” he said, hoping you’d drop it. 

You didn’t.

“Does your family have any traditions?” 

“Like what?” He knew what you meant, but his brain wasn’t working fast enough to come up with a lie, the truth sitting on his chest in the uncomfortable way he spent his life trying to avoid.

“Like, okay,” you started. “Me and my brothers always sleep in the living room on Christmas Eve. We get all the pillows and blankets in the house and make a big pile in front of the fireplace and keep the fire going all night so we can stay up to try and catch Santa.” 

“How’s he gonna come down the chimney if you keep the fire going?” Rafe questioned logically.

“Oh Rafe, I’m so sorry I have to be the one to tell you this…but Santa isn’t real,” you placed your hand on his arm like you were trying to console him. 

He let it linger for a minute before shaking you off, “you know what I meant!” he grumbled, making you laugh. The sound was so sweet it made him dizzy.

“What else do you do?” He asked impulsively, surprising both you and himself with his desire to hear you keep talking.

“Well, you know about my mom’s cookies, and we always drink cocoa with peppermint sticks, and oh! Me and my dad used to cut down a real tree together the day after Thanksgiving- I’m sure they’ve already gotten it this year since I wasn’t home- but we’d always decorate it together, just the two of us, while listening to his old Bing Crosby vinyl.”

It sounded so nice, so idyllic and comforting, like a Hallmark card. Jealousy roared in his chest, hoping you couldn’t see it on his face as he pictured the much colder, tension filled holiday that was awaiting him.

“Didn’t Bing Crosby used to hit his kids?” He blurted out coldly, the holly jolly joy in the car becoming a little too much for him to handle.

Your face soured, lips twisted as he burst your bubble. 

“You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch,” you mumbled. Even when he was being an ass, you were being cute. It was killing him. “Not a Christmas guy, huh?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be napping right now?” He brushed off your question.

“I don’t know, maybe you shouldn’t drive so grumpy.”

“I’ll be fine. Your thirty minutes is slipping away, though.”

“Okay fine, but don’t forget to wake me up when we cross the state line,” you reminded him.

“I know, I know. Are you always this bossy?” He snipped, his sudden coldness making you wish you’d never opened up to him about your family to begin with.

With a final, pointed look at him, you pulled the strings of his sweatshirt to cover your eyes and sank down into the seat. 

“Bah humbug,” you threw at him before drifting off to sleep.

Almost immediately, he missed the sound of your voice. 

Hour six

In your dream, you sat alone at your kitchen table, your dad’s Bing Crosby vinyl skipped on the record player as you cried over an empty plate, not a single crumb of gingerbread left…

Hour seven

The world was moving outside the windows, the early darkness of winter making the scene blurry, but you could tell the car was definitely still moving.

And Rafe was out cold in the driver’s seat.

“Oh my god!!” 

You shot up in your seat and grabbed the wheel, sure that you were about to go flying off the road any second. But the wheel was locked, and there was no engine’s rumble shaking the dash. The car was off. 

You blinked, your groggy mind finally catching up with reality. You weren’t driving, you were floating. The choppy ocean crashing against the side of the ship spraying little droplets of water on your windshield.

“Oh my god,” you repeated with a groan, this time less panicked and more pissed.

Rafe woke up with your body stretched across his lap, gripping the wheel as you groaned.

“Hi,” he mumbled with a sleepy smile, completely misreading the situation.

You sat back in your own seat and hit him on the shoulder, hard. 

“Oww, what the hell?” He sat up, rubbing his arm.

“Where the fuck are we?” You barked at him.

“We’re in your car on the way home,” he avoided the true answer. 

“I said I’d get you to the ferry…”

“And would ya look at that? You did!” He smiled sheepishly.

With scarily accurate comedic timing, the ship’s horn blared loudly, leaving no doubt.

“Rafe, we’re on the ferry!” You yelled, smacking him again.

“Would you stop hitting me please?! We were making good time and you looked so peaceful sleeping so I figured we’d just hop the ferry real quick and you’ll still make it home by six.”

You checked the time on your phone, eyes widening with realization.

“Just barely! At this rate I’ll be walking in the door at 5:58,” you argued.

“And just think of how many cookies you can eat in two minutes if you really put your mind to it,” he grinned at you. You were having none of his boyish charm this time, back to being a card carrying member of the “I Hate Rafe Cameron” club.

“I’m gonna kill you,” you mumbled.

“Okay, well can it wait until we’re on dry land? I get seasick and I want it to be a fair fight.”

He wasn’t letting up on the flirting, and you weren’t giving in. The rest of the boat ride was painfully quiet.

----❄----

“It’s just up here on the right, that metal gate,” he assured you as he approached his home, still trying to convince you that you had plenty of time.

Headlights bounced off the high white walls of his estate as the car pulled up. Your mouth hung open in disbelief.

“What is it?” He questioned.

“I knew you were probably rich, y’know based on your whole…” you gestured vaguely to him, “...thing. But holy shit.”

He grinned, “yeah it’s alright I guess.”

“Oh whatever,” you laughed. “It’s like a fucking castle!”

With a final left turn, he pulled into Tannyhill, the giant house completely dark at the end of the long drive. Rafe’s face fell slightly as he drove up, but he pushed the disappointment down when he felt your eyes on him.

“Home sweet home,” he said, feigning holiday cheer.

He put the car in park and grabbed his stuff from the backseat. You both got out, stopping in front of the car so he could hand you the keys.

“I should change so you can have your sweatshirt back,” you said.

“Nah you can give it back to me at school, I’ve delayed your schedule long enough.”

You smiled softly, giving him a grateful nod.

It was strange, you felt like you’d known him much longer than eight hours and yet you weren’t quite friends…you weren’t enemies either, but definitely not friends. How is one supposed to say goodbye to a non-enemy/non-friend? You settled on holding out your hand to shake. Rafe just looked down at your palm, huffing a laugh at the gesture.

“Well,” you shrugged, smiling back, “Merry Christmas I guess?”

He took your hand, giving it a firm shake and a squeeze, “yeah, Merry Christmas I guess.”

With a nod, you stepped around him and got back into your car, pulling up your GPS and entering your home address. So long as the ferry was still running on schedule and there wasn’t too much traffic, you’d get home with about five minutes to spare.

You put the car in reverse and got ready to back out of the driveway. You tried to keep your eyes fixed on the rearview, but you couldn’t help but steal one last look at Rafe as he walked through his front door.

Only, he wasn’t going inside. Or maybe he couldn’t go inside? He stood at the front door shaking the handle and having a very animated conversation with someone on his phone. Something wasn’t right.

Even though you knew you shouldn’t, you cracked your window slightly to hear the phone call. His back still turned to you, Rafe didn’t notice you could hear him and kept talking, loudly…

“The Bahamas? Are you kidding me?...I can’t believe you guys just left without me...well I wasn’t and then I got a ride…this could’ve been avoided if you’d just sent the jet like I asked…since when are you concerned about that?...well what the hell am I supposed to do now?!” 

The last question was said with a raised voice, aggression seeping into his tone. He made like he was about to say something else, but was cut-off, his shoulders falling as the voice on the other end got so loud that it carried all the way to your car. You couldn’t make out the words, but whoever he was talking to was clearly shouting even louder than Rafe had just been.

“Y-yes sir…I’m sorry…yes sir…no sir…okay I will…I lo-”

The phone beeped three times and the screen went black. Rafe stared down at it for a second before slipping it in his pocket and lifting a rock close to the door, retrieving a small silver key. As he raised it to the doorknob, his eyes caught yours in the reflection of the glass.

“You should get going,” he said, turning and noticing your window cracked. “You’re gonna miss your cookies.”

Fully busted for eavesdropping, you rolled the window the rest of the way down, “did they…are they not home?”

“Nah, they decided to spend Christmas in the Bahamas,” he explained.

“Oh. So you’re just gonna be here, like, alone?”

“I’ll be fine. I’m not a Christmas guy anyway, remember?” He gave you a tight lipped smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes.

“Are-are you sure? You could…” You couldn’t quite bring yourself to say it. Were you really gonna offer for him to come home with you? You barely knew him, surely you couldn’t bring him home for Christmas. 

The offer fell dead on your lips, but Rafe knew where you were going with it, the pity in your voice a little too much for his pride.

“I’m really fine,” he said, nodding his head toward the road, “you should get back on the road. You’ve got a schedule to keep”

You gave him a soft smile as you put the car back into reverse, feeling guilty the whole way out of the driveway.

----❄----

Turning the Christmas radio station up, you tried to focus on gingerbread cookies as you waited in the long car line to get back on the ferry. 

He wasn’t your friend, in fact, he was kind of an asshole to you all day. You didn’t owe him anything. Plus, he surely wouldn’t be comfortable at your little house in the country. Not when he was used to all the flash of this island, the one his family seemingly owned based on all the signs with their name on it you passed on your short drive. No, he’d be fine. You’d get your cookies and he’d be fine.

“Ma’am,” the Ferry ticketing attendant tapped on your window to get your attention. 

You sighed deeply as you looked at the big ship, then down to your GPS, telling you there was only a minute to spare if you were gonna get home on time. 

Home. Yours, warm and full of love. His, empty and dark.

“We’ve got a schedule to keep,” the attendant urged. “Are you boarding or not?”

----❄----

The house was still dark but for one light glowing through an upstairs window.

You knocked three times, Rafe’s confused face finally appearing behind the glass. He opened the door with a questioning furrow of his brow. His bag was still packed, sitting right inside the door. You reached down to grab it, throwing it over your shoulder as you said, 

“You owe me a cookie.”

a/n: merry everything! I had so much fun writing this! There will be 3 more parts, just a lil present from me to you <3 there will be some hurt, but mostly comfort and a stocking full of fluff!

for updates, follow @whytheylosttheirminds-works and turn on notifs. to be tagged, just ask in the replies or send me an ask!

taglist: @itneverendshere @rafediaries @promiscuousg1rl @eolsens @inlovewrafe

[notwxrriors]

jawff first kiss as they're saying bye/goodnight. and jawn gets inside the house and is like . WAAAHH just kicking his legs twirling his hair type shit

I'm. thibking ab them,,,,

jawn usually carpools w someone to practice, mostly because aws likes the company or otto's out of work the earliest, but typically geoff takes him home if he's not staying over at awsten's. it just made sense logistically, and also geoff lets him smoke in the car as long as a window is cracked

so they ride home together, all the windows down when the weather's nice enough for it, listening to the radio or a CD geoff puts on. jawn brings CDs sometimes too, things he wants geoff to hear, and geoff does the same. it's jawn's favorite time of the day - exhausted from practice, dehydrated as fuck, usually a headache coming on - but despite it all, he's in geoff's little car, the wind ruffling his hair, usually a cigarette between his fingers, singing along to the radio. it's just for them, and jawn loves it

jawn knows now that he has feelings for geoff, and he suspects they're mutual but neither of them say anything about it. geoff pulls up in front of jawn's house and jawn unbuckles, pushing the door open and stubbing his cigarette on the ground. "thanks for the ride" jawn says, brushing his fingers through his hair to try and fix the windswept situation

"yeah, always" geoff answers. he pauses like he's considering something, and then he gets out of the car but leaves it running. "can i walk with you?" he asks, and jawn laughs

"i don't think im gonna get snatched up on this, like, fifteen feet of sidewalk" he says, geoff grinning at him but not answering. jawn finds it a bit unusual but he doesn't care, so they take the short walk to the front door together. jawn wishes he could invite him inside

"hey, um-" geoff says as jawn puts his key in the lock. "i, um, i have a question"

"what's up?" jawn turns to him, feeling his chest tighten with uncertainty. there's a moment of silence that stretches on between them, geoff avoiding eye contact like the plague.

"tonight's been really cool. um. you're really cool" he says, and he Knows its dumb bc it is!! but it's hard to think of words around jawn. "could i kiss you?" he asks. just gets it over with, like ripping a bandaid

theyre closer than jawn had realized. he has to look up at geoff. he's kinda frozen, surprised by the question, but he nods wordlessly. geoff dips his head right as jawn tilts his chin up and their lips meet, so quickly, and geoff gives him a hug right afterwards.

"you really have to go inside?" geoff asks

jawn wants to say no. "yeah" he breathes out. geoff kisses him again, and then steps away, tells him goodnight and he'll see him soon, he'll call, and then he gets in his car.

jawn's hands shake so bad he can barely open the door, finally getting inside and bolting to his bedroom where he proceeds to soundlessly freak the fuck out. like, that type of joy where you're just punching the air and paving around and laughing etc. his face is so red!! geoff kissed him! he kissed him twice!!!

any feelings of being stupid are so overcome by elation, and jawn's sure geoff is being so cool about it in his car (he's not)