#bc she smokes and has friends that smoke as if i am not worthy of a balcony bc i don't smoke like ����

[ningtual]

can't believe all my roommate's friends were so actively working against me when it came to who gets the big room with the balcony attached to it and in the end she actually got it....

[soulofamy]

after watching through mk conquest, here are my overall thoughts

i think the majority of my gripe with this show is that i really do hate the way the women in this show are treated. they all dress like they shop exclusively at victorias secret and nowhere else. with the exception of taja, they are also all ALWAYS trying to get into the mens pants. they want something from a man? start caressing him. a man is cranky? start caressing him. women are either treated as objects to be desired by the men or as threats. also the amount of SA that goes on in this show is insane like how is it this show is only rates 13+?? its also funny to me that the men can be total losers (quan chi and shang tsung are both portrayed as HUGE losers in this show) and yet the women will all get catty and territorial if another woman breathes around them.

another issue i have, which isnt really the shows fault, is all the loose ends they were unable to tie up. the show was only one season long, there was a lot left unresolved with scorpion and subzero. smoke was teased at the very end of one episode then was never heard from again. rain got a brief backstory but i wish we got more of him bc it was nice to see that he and kitana used to be friends. also minus raiden EVERYONE DIES?? KUNG LAO SIRO AND TAJA INCLUDED??? how were they going to resolve such a massive cliffhanger?????

i think that there is a lot to love about this show though

first and foremost, i LOVEEEEEEEEE the way they did raiden in this show. hes very charming and funny, and they did an amazing job of showing us just how powerful he is. hes a god, and the rules of the show surrounding that respect it. hes only able to use his powers in very certain scenarios and when he does, he is a force to be feared. which serves really well when raiden is brought to his knees by shao khan. this entire time youre thinking about how much of an angry manchild shao is but in reality hes secretly been setting this big elaborate trap and raiden really truly has no way out of it. like that conflict and both of their characters are very believeable in how powerful and how clever they are its so good

next i want to talk about how much i love the way that zaterra as a whole was done in this show. zaterrans are alive and well but they are split between whether they view shao khan as a savior who is worthy of their servitude or if they view him as their oppressor who they need to be freed of. syzoth is their ruler, all zaterrans can shapeshift, and they arent pathetic. they are a threat and everyone fears them for it. i love that they are respected by the lore. syzoth being emperor is everything i could have wanted. i did not like ankha at all and am glad she died but once she was out of the picture i liked how kiris character transformed. she feels like a completely different character than she was when she released noob saibot into the world lol. but i adore how unquestionably loyal she is to syzoth too, its nice that there was someone who was genuinely on his side and wasnt using him for some ulterior motive

the lin kuei vs scorpion conflict felt like it stood on its own. it wasnt bihan(or kuai liang) versus hanzo, it was two completely different dudes who just had the same mantles and it was kinda refreshing to see. im really not someone who cares about either of those characters literally at all and honestly especially after the absolute trainwreck that was khaos reigns i thought my opinions of them were permanently soured but this show made me realize they could still feel fresh new and interesting when handled well. i especially wish i got to see more of subzero, i like how he self exiled after realizing how much the lin kuei didnt actually care about him and after seeing how much his real family was hurting

i think i had more but thats all i can remember off the top of my head

i think overall i would give this show a 7.5~8/10. def a lot to be desired in terms of how they portray women and also not wanting them to lean in so heavily on orientalism but i also acknowledge that this is an old show where the prevailing opinion by tv showrunners is that this kind of thing is okay. still though, genuinely way more fun to watch than khaos reigns

[snekdood]

if you reduce “incel” to mean ppl who cant get women then ig you dont think mlm relationships are real, actual relationships and the ideal is to be with women?? idk

[phykios]

i meant to have this up on friday but i didn’t bc i’m lame anyway, this is dedicated to my dearest dearest peyton 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙 one year ago last friday i had the distinct pleasure of sliding into her dms on discord, several fics and 72 separate aus later, here we are. so, for our friendiversary, have a sexy origin story for percabeth 😁

Say So, for @darkmagyk​ [read on ao3] rated E for sexual content (spicy!!! pls be advised!!!) cw: recreational drug use, experimental bondage, and an accidental hit during intercourse

“I don’t think it’s working,” Annabeth says.

“Just give it a minute.” Sofia sounds gone already, hazy and dreamy.

She gives it a minute.

“Am I supposed to feel something?”

“Yeah.”

“Well I’m not.”

“You gotta be patient,” says Jordan. Throaty and full, her already deep voice is even deeper, almost vibrating in the air.

Annabeth blinks. “Maybe they gave you actual grass. Or maybe I’m too much of a square for it to affect me.” Sofia snorts. “I’m serious. You know at my summer camp they started giving me counselor responsibilities when I was twelve? Percy always said I wouldn’t know what fun was if it hit me in the face. And it’s not like he was wrong, like I spent most of my childhood reading ancient Greek or learning how to use a knife but there were some pretty ridiculous extenuating circumstances and I really wanted this older boy at camp to like me, and why am I talking so fast?”

Masako giggles. “You’re stoned.”

“I am?”

“Stoned,” she confirms.

“High,” says Sofia.

“Intoxicated!” sings Jordan.

“Oh, wow.” She can feel every blade of grass beneath her, tickling along her bare legs, the wind caressing her face, the sounds of Berkeley--frat boys playing Ultimate, rush-hour traffic, a thousand different conversations about nothing and everything--muffled behind a glass wall. “I’m high.”

Sofia laughs. “How does it feel?”

“It feels…” She licks her lips. They taste like avocado fries and sunshine. “It feels like…” Slow. The turn of the earth so soft and gentle, like the tides in the lake when Percy is in a good mood. Like the liminal space between sleepfulness and wakefulness, when you’ve taken a nap and can’t remember what year it is. Like wading through a magical time spell, but warm. “You know what I mean?”

“Annabeth,” says Masako. “You didn’t say anything.”

“What?” She raises her head, looking over at her friend. Her eyes are closed, her hands running along the grass of the quad. “I didn’t?”

“Nothing.”

Annabeth lets her head fall back, thumping the earth. “Oh, theoi, I’m high.”

Overcome, Jordan starts laughing, curling onto her side. The rest aren’t far behind. 

Soon they’re not laughing at her anymore, they’re just laughing to laugh. Laughter is fun, she realizes, her breath and blood whooshing through her body, every muscle and bone in her body united in one single pursuit of joy. Her eyes are squeezed shut, cheeks aching from the force of her smile, her body curled in on itself, wracked with euphoria.

Sofia giggles so hard she snorts, setting them all off again.

Wading through an onslaught of laughter, high and squeaky, Annabeth gasps out, “Why am I laughing so much?”

“Because you’re high, girl!” Jordan crows. She has turned herself over on her front, her face pressed against the grass. “Have you really never gotten high before?”

“Don’t tease her,” says Sofia, awkwardly patting Annabeth’s knee. “You know she hasn’t done anything.”

She has done stuff, she almost says--before she shuts her mouth with an audible clack.

“Not even at your camp?” Jordan asks, befuddled. Befuddled is a funny word. “No one ever snuck in some alcohol or whatever?”

Thoughts running at a snail’s pace, she has to seriously rack her brain to think if one of the Hermes’ kids ever brought in any illicit substances. Soda, minor monsters, the most powerful weapon ever created--but not any alcohol or marijuana. She thinks. “Our camp director was really strict about alcohol.”

“Lame,” says Masako.

“I mean, he was in recovery,” says Annabeth, her go-to story about Mr. D, just in case anyone ever asks. “It was a whole thing. He couldn’t have it, so we couldn’t have it.” 

“Not lame,” she amends.

“Okay, I think,” she says, a memory appearing out of the fog, after Gaea, after all that nonsense, “I think my co-counselor Katie made some joints out of bay leaves once.” 

The younger kids had gone to bed, sent off with a healthy dose of Clovis’ dream magic to ward away any nightmares, but the older campers had stayed up, huddled around the central brazier into the wee hours of the morning. Still so exhausted she could barely see straight, falling asleep on top of Percy, he had hauled her away to bed, but not before he had declined something for the both of them, something small and white and made to be smoked.

“You can get high off of bay leaves?” Sofia asks. 

Annabeth nods. “That’s how the… the fucking…” the word was on the tip of her tongue. The thing that Rachel did. But long ago. Oracle! “The Oracle, she got high, in ancient Greece. With bay leaves. She’d smoke them and receive prophecy.”

Jordan lifts her head. “Cool. You got ancient Greek high.”

Annabeth nearly says something about Olympus, or maybe Blackjack, an amazing joke about being high and Greek just on the tip of her tongue, but she has just enough self control not to. “No, I was tired. Percy and I went to bed.” 

“Laaaaaaaaame,” says Masako.

It’s just good-natured ribbing. And they’re all high as kites. But Annabeth still frowns. “I’m not lame.”

“You’re amazing, don’t get me wrong,” Masako says, “but you are so lame. You’ve never gotten high before, you’re probably going to marry your first boyfriend… you are so vanilla.”

“And we love that about you!” Sofia jumps in.

Annabeth can’t feel bad right now, but she can feel a little lost. “But I love Percy,” she says. “Why wouldn’t I marry him?”

Percy is perfect. He’s handsome and kind and powerful and funny and brave and handsome. He’s more than anyone could hope for. And he loves her. 

“You’re really going to marry him?” Jordan asks. “Like, for real?”

She shrugs. “Yeah, but he says he can’t propose before he finds the perfect ring. He promised he wouldn’t make me wait too long. I don’t want to have Chase on my diploma.” 

“Oh my god,” Masako giggles, “you’re even more vanilla than I thought.” 

“The dick can’t be that good,” Jordan muses, examining a particularly long blade of grass. 

It is, but they don’t need to know that. 

Sofia snorts. “It is?”

Oh, fuck. Annabeth giggles. “I didn’t mean to say that out loud.”

“Tell us!” Masako sits bolt upright, eyes wide. “Tell us everything!”

She slams her hands over her face. “Noooo,” she laughs, curling in on herself further. “I can’t.”

All at once, they scream, like the three Erinyes swooping down onto an unsuspecting prey. Or the Cabin Ten campers when someone gets too close with any stray ketchup.

“Spill!” they shriek. “Spill!”

No one has ever demanded to know the details of her sex life before. Even at camp, she and Percy are given a wide berth. Something about walking through Tartartus with your partner apparently takes your sex life from giggle-worthy to kind of intimidating. That’s the biggest difference between her demigod friends and her mortal friends, Annabeth is finding. Other than that, they’re pretty much exactly the same. “What do you want to know?” she asks, naively.

The floodgates open.

“When did you guys first do it?”

“Where?”

“How was it?”

“What does he like?”

“His abs though--”

“Is he good at head?”

“Favorite position!”

“His dick is big, I just know it--”

Over and over, overlapping, a whirlwind of questions, she can’t process them nearly as fast as they are coming--all she can do is laugh, breathless and airy, until they all dissolve into giggles once again.

She’s getting a little tired of this constant laughing.

Even that thought makes her start all over again.

“Okay,” she gasps, “okay, I can’t--I can’t answer all of those.”

Jordan waves her arms. “Me first! First time!”

Annabeth shrugs. “Um, it was… the weekend of Thanksgiving, a few months after we started dating. His parents were at a mixer for their writing group, and I was staying with them during my school break.” What else is she supposed to say? That they���d been talking about it for weeks? That Annabeth had been so excited she’d forgotten to even ask him about condoms? That Percy had been so concerned with making sure he got her off and didn’t hurt her that he’d spent almost an hour fingering her? 

They squeal in unison. “His parents’ house!” Sofia gasps, hands on her face. “So scandalous! How was it?”

Annabeth blushes. “Amazing.” 

And it had been, as amazing as a first time can be. Any person could only ever dream of having a partner as attentive and respectful as Percy for their first time.

“If he’s the only one you’ve ever had, how do you know it was that good?” Jordan asks. “I thought my first boyfriend was good, too, right up until I started dating Julie.” 

“I think three consecutive orgasms counts as being good,” Annabeth drawls.

Once again, the screaming.

“Three?” shrieks Masako.

“Three.”

“Your first time?!”

“He was really really really concerned I wouldn’t get off!” 

Sofia collapses on top of her, hands scrabbling for her shoulders, and always, always giggling. “You marry that boy--you marry him right now!”

“I’m trying!”

“And it’s still good?” Masako’s eyes are as wide as saucers.

Normally, she might be a little reluctant to share--even with Piper. The eighth of this edible, though, is certainly helping grease the wheels of conversation. “It’s always good.”

Jordan groans, throwing a handful of grass in her face. “Bullshit.”

“Always?”

She frowns, really thinking about it, trying to remember a time it was bad. It’s surprisingly really hard. “Sometimes we don’t have time for three orgasms.” 

“How often do you fake it?”

“What do you mean?” Annabeth asks Masako.

“You know… fake it.”

“Why would I fake it? If I fake it, he won’t know I haven’t come yet.” She laughs, more than a giggle but less than a guffaw. It’s so silly. Whoever thought of faking an orgasm?  “How would I even do that?” 

“You’ve never faked it?” Sofia is incredulous, her jaw hanging open. 

Annabeth sits up, flailing a little, reaching forward to touch her toes. Just because. “Of course not. Do people actually do that?”

“Sure,” says Masako. “Sometimes.”

“Why?” 

“I hate you,” Jordan moans, “I hate you so much, you and your stupid sex god boyfriend who makes love to you every night like you’re in some trashy period drama with the…” Her hands come up, weakly making a wavy shape in the air. “The things. You know.”

Masako tilts her head. “Hoop skirts?”

Sofia pitches forward, hands coming flat on the grass. “Okay, Annabeth. Prove to us you’re not vanilla. Craziest place you’ve ever done it.”

All three girls lean in, now, expectant, hungry.

Annabeth frowns.

Where was the craziest place they had done it?

They’d done it a lot in the last few years. His apartment in the city, Cabin Three, her boarding school room… 

Oh. Right.

She flushes.

They lean in even closer.

Well, she can’t tell them about the time they had sex in the temple of Neptune in New Rome, but she can tell them about--“One time, at camp,” she mumbles, playing with a shoelace, “we… Percy is in charge of the boathouse, because--because he’s so good at sailing, you know? So, one day, we both passed our chores off to a couple other counselors, then he took out one of the canoes, rowed us out into the middle of the lake, and…” She glances up, bashful.

Cue the screaming. 

Annabeth covers her face with her arms, falling back down onto the quad.

“At your summer camp!” Masako cries, gleeful. 

“My word!” Playfully kicking her ankle, Jordan pretends to fan herself, like Hazel still does sometimes when she’s startled by something really risque. “Imagine if the children had seen you!”

The children hadn’t seen them, but the naiads definitely had--and had tried to capsize them for their trouble. She hadn’t been able to do any lake-related activities for a week without getting soaked by a stray wave which, coincidentally, managed to avoid hitting everyone else.

“What else?” Sofia asks, practically vibrating. “Craziest kink!”

“Um…” She frowns, screwing up her face so she thinks extra hard. Have they… done anything kinky? They have sex a lot, yeah, and not always in their bedrooms, but other than that… “I… don’t… know…”

Sex with Percy is always amazing--that’s not a lie. But, maybe it’s gotten a little… same-y.

“Well, well, well.” Sofia slow-claps it out, her rings clinking together. “I think she’s ready for the big leagues, don’t you, girls?” 

Through her fingers, Annabeth glances at her. “What do you mean?”

“Bondage.”

“Bondage?” She blinks. “Like, tying each other up?”

Annabeth doesn’t think she’s ever been tied up before. Well, except for the time she wanted to hear the Sirens, but Percy had left her with her knife, so that didn’t really count. 

“Last time I met up with Skylar, we went back to his, and he has this old-timey bed frame, with the slats, right? So I took the belt from my dress, and--”

“Okay, okay,” Annabeth cuts in, covering her face again. “I get the point.”

Maybe her friends have a point. Maybe she is a little vanilla.

Sofia pats her knee. “Next time you guys have sex--”

“So, in like, three hours,” Jordan snorts.

“--take a scarf or a tie or whatever and tie his hands to the headboard. Trust me, he will flip. Out.”

Annabeth nods, taking mental notes. “Hands to the headboard. Got it.” She’s not sure if he even has any ties, but she’s resourceful. She can cobble something together. “And… then what?”

Sofia shrugs. “Kiss him. Do a striptease. Leave him there. I dunno. Whatever you want.”

Masako scrambles to her feet, windmilling to keep her balance. “The Bon Me truck just pulled up,” she gasps, “and I am starving.”

And thus, that particular conversation is over, thanks to the munchies.

***

Truth be told, she kind of forgets it pretty much entirely. Most of that day is gone, the finer details swallowed up in a haze of heat waves and peanut sauce.

That is, until New Rome’s annual pre-Saturnalia mixer: dress code, lighter side of formal. Whatever that means. 

“Hey, babe?” Percy pokes his head in the bathroom, button-down half undone. “I need your eye for a second.”

She grunts around the bobby pin held between her teeth, sliding another one through some hitherto-unknown dimension to hold a curl in place. 

“What do you think, this tie with this jacket?” He holds the two of them together, the black and white Greek key pattern contrasting nicely against the navy blue fabric. “Or will that cause an incident?”

“Probably an incident,” she says, slowly, slipping the bobby pin from her mouth. Then, a thought poking at the back of her skull. “How long have you had that?”

He glances at it. “The tie? Paul gave it to me for graduation.”

“That was nice of him.”

“I’m pretty sure he got it from the Met gift shop, but yeah.” All smiles, he slides the jacket on, tie crumpled in his balled fist. “You’re right, no tie.”

She grunts, noncommittal, gaze sliding away as she tries to remember… something.

“You good?”

“...Yeah,” she says, eventually. “Just spaced out for a second.”

“Alright. You about ready to go?”

She glances at her hair in the mirror, the makeup on the counter. “Give me twenty.”

“Sure thing.” Then he goes out, a few moments of silence passing before she hears the sink turn on as he takes care of the dishes. 

How in Hades did she end up with the perfect man? Truly.

Percy continues to exude perfection at the party, despite the fact that he is clearly less than comfortable, not that she can blame him. Some of the older citizens of New Rome are a little less reserved with their opinions of the Greeks, Percy’s hand clenching around his glass of sparkling grape juice every time someone badmouths camp, their home, but they both relax as soon as they finish making the rounds of NRU’s board of trustees and other college officials, peeling away to find Frank and Reyna and the rest of their friends. 

Still, Annabeth can’t quite focus. 

“Hey.” Percy leans in, his hand against the small of her back, murmuring into her ear. “Are you okay?”

“Hm?” Gods, his hand is so big and warm. All that time in the gym is paying off, too, the weedy, skinny teenager she fell in love with blossoming into a young man, broad shoulders and firm chest like a Phidian sculpture.

“You’re just kind of quiet tonight. Did you sleep okay?”

She blinks at him, thoughts coming back into focus. “Uh--yeah, I’m good. Just--”

“Spaced out for a second?” Making a face, he grins back at her, unrepentant. “You wanna ditch the party?”

“Do you?”

He looks around, eyeing Hylla Ramirez-Arellano as she loudly boasts about being Jeff Bezos’ findom. “A little.”

Well, Annabeth is happy to be his excuse. 

Citing a (completely fake) headache, they make their graceful exit, walking back to their apartment in the cool California night, hand in hand, Percy carrying her heels as she walks barefoot down the sidewalks. 

It’s a quiet night. Percy squeezes her hand every few steps, and she squeezes back, lifting her face to the clear night sky, thoughts she can’t catch slipping through the cracks like wisps of clouds across the moon. But that’s okay. She’s pretty sure they’re good thoughts.

“You sure you’re alright?” Percy asks as they get home, closing the door behind them. “You've been kind of out of it all night.”

Kissing him on the cheek, she shrugs out of her nice coat, slipping it up on their makeshift coat rack, fashioned from a piece of driftwood that had nearly conked Percy on the head the first time they ever went down to the beach. “I’m fine, Percy, promise. Just kind of a bleh day, you know? Nothing a few cuddles and a movie won’t fix.”

At that, he beams, dropping Annabeth’s shoes on the floor. “I’ll get the popcorn!”

"Let me shower first," Annabeth says. Hopefully a shower will clear her head a little.

It doesn't.

Changing into her pajamas, she ruffles her curls with her microfiber towel, frowning as she comes out of the bathroom. Percy's good habits are rubbing off on her; she's left a lot of crap lying around that needs picking up. Collecting stray bobby pins from the vanity, a curling iron from the top of the dresser, and an alternate dress option from where she had left it on the bed, she putters about the room, tidying as she goes, when she stops. Percy's tie lays crumbled at the head of the bed where he had tossed it earlier.

She picks it up, running it between her fingers. It's not exactly silk, but it's still a decently strong weave, machine-made for mass production, inoffensively soft. Annabeth wraps it around her finger, pulling tight, and a flash of heat rushes through her, like a wave off the lava climbing wall. 

“So there’s this guy on Youtube who makes popcorn with Lao Gan Ma spicy chili crisp, and it sounded absolutely amazing,” says Percy, walking into their room, popcorn bowl in hand. Annabeth whips around, the tie crumpled in her fist. “I tried to keep the spice level down, but let me know if it’s too much and I can make another one.”

Annabeth blinks, momentarily uncomprehending. “Uh--sure! Sounds good.”

“Did you pick a movie while you were in the shower?”

“Um…” Was she supposed to? “Your choice.”

“The Sopranos okay?” he asks, climbing onto their bed, twisting around to grab his laptop from the side table. His shirt rides up a little, a sliver of waist and hip peeking out at her.

“Sure.” She likes The Sopranos. It’s a little soapy, but usually she has no problem following along. 

Keyword being usually.

She’s tucked herself into Percy’s side the way she usually does, her head against his, his arm around her shoulders, his thumb ghost along the bare skin of her bicep. He smells really good today, sea salt and cinnamon and chili oil, a testament to his busy day in the kitchen. He’s so warm, always, six feet of dense, packed muscle practically radiating heat. Annabeth could fall asleep right there. She often does. 

Shifting for the sixth time in what must be five minutes, she snuggles into his chest, curling and uncurling her toes. There’s no denying it--she can feel herself getting hotter, a flame in her center, soft and pulsing, reaching every part of her.

How she wishes she could blame it on The Sopranos.

Annabeth presses her nose into his neck, breathing him in, laying a kiss under his ear. Then another on his jaw. And another at the corner of his lips. And one on his mouth, tilting him towards her for better access. He goes, easily, without resistance. 

At some point, the popcorn bowl is moved. 

Then, Percy shuts his laptop closed during Livia’s wake. 

“Hey,” Annabeth murmurs into his mouth, draped over him like some kind of blanket. “I wanna try something.”

He hums, kissing her again. “Okay?”

She reaches behind him, beneath the pillow. She’s not sure why she had stashed it there, rather than hanging it back up in the closet, but she pulls out the tie, holding Percy’s gaze without breaking. “I thought,” she breathes, pressing her chest against him, incentivizing, “you know... if you want to."

His eyes darken, even as his face tries to give nothing away. "You wanna tie me up?"

Lip between her teeth, she nods.

Slowly, controlled, he blows his breath out, bringing a hand up to cup her cheek. "You sure?" he asks, desire rumbling in his chest.

She frowns. "Yeah." Does he not want to?

"Okay," he says, twisting a curl around his finger. "Just want to make sure we’re on the same page here.”

Or maybe worse, does he think she can’t? “Okay.”

Straightening up, she straddles him. He lifts his arms obediently, never breaking eye contact, bracing them against their headboard. It’s not really conducive for this sort of thing, but she threads the tie through the wooden slats easily enough, tying his wrists together, leaning in closer than she needs to so that her chest pushes up against his face.

There. All tied up and ready to go.

She leans back on her knees, taking in the whole pretty picture.

Rhythmically, subconsciously, Percy tests the strength of the bonds, flexing the muscles in his arms. His mouth hangs open, his hips shifting beneath her as he tries to get comfortable, cock hard through his sweatpants.

Annabeth scrambles off him, and he tries to follow, chest jerking as the tie holds him back. He grunts, surprised, shoulders straining, before he falls back, defeated, huffing angrily, a low growl which connects to the pit of her stomach. “Nice try, Percy,” she smirks, sauntering around to the foot of the bed, keenly aware of his gaze as it tracks her, hands on her hips. “It’s my show tonight.”

“Your show, huh?” He settles back against the headboard, wine-dark gaze boring into her. “By all means, then. Give me a show.”

She glares, grinding her teeth. Doesn’t he know she’s calling the shots right now? 

Well, fine. If he wants a show, he’ll get a show. 

Annabeth is… not a particularly graceful person normally, but on the battlefield, she knows she shines. Give her a knife and an enemy, and she can put the greatest dancers to shame. Well, in this case, Percy is the enemy, and… her clothes… are the knife. Or something like that. It makes more sense in her head.

Slowly, she grasps the hem of her sleep shirt, peeling it up over her chest, the fabric blocking her vision for a brief moment as she slips it over her head. When Percy comes back into view, his eyes have darkened just that much more, almost straining with the effort not to stare at her chest, even as it’s presented for his explicit viewing pleasure.

Annabeth does not have much in the way of breasts--never has. It doesn’t seem to bother him, which is nice. Besides, Percy is more of a leg man, as he has expressed several times. So, legs next. 

Her sleep shorts aren’t very sexy, old, threadbare things which had once been yoga pants. When she started gaining a little more weight, and the pants could no longer reach her ankles, she had cut them in a fit of impulsivity, stretching the fabric and sewing herself a new hem, giving her skin more room to breathe. And giving Percy more space to slip his fingers up, the horny bastard. 

She turns around, lamenting the loss, as she so wanted to see his face as she bends over, sticking out her ass, slowly slipping the waistband down. From behind, she hears a faint pickup in breathing. 

Over her ass, down her thighs and her knees. She thinks she hears a groan, muffled behind a bitten lip. She lifts up one foot, then the other, leaving the shorts in a puddle by her feet. Clad only in her panties now--black, lacy, but not due to any pre-planning on her part, unless you count the laundry just about overflowing in the closet hamper--she straightens back up, her hands going to her hair, running her fingers through it in some kind of approximation of sexy.

She turns around, and is greeted with his look of naked longing, his throat working as he swallows, full lower lip firmly in his teeth. His fists are clenched, the muscles of his forearms big and bulging, his heels pushing into the mattress.

She takes a step forward, her fingers teasing the edge of her panties. She won’t take them off, not yet, just torment him a little, lifting the fabric and letting it slap back down to her skin, then she’ll climb back on top of him, hump him through his sweatpants until he’s begging--

Annabeth catches her foot on the fabric puddle. Tripping, she throws out her hands, aiming to catch herself on the decorative chest they keep at the foot of their bed, her weak ankle buckling as it tries to keep her steady--then she jams her toe into the metal strut. Hard.

“Mother fucker!”

She goes down.

“Annabeth!”

Through the white hot haze of pain, she can barely see, but she can certainly feel it as a pair of strong arms picks her up from the floor, laying her on the bed, a big hand taking her weaker foot, fingers delicately prodding the offending toe, skimming over the sensitive skin. “Percy?” she moans, seeing stars. “What--”

“Nothing feels sprained,” he murmurs, kissing her ankle. “Looks like you just slammed it. Let me get some ice.” And he leaves her for a moment.

Wasn’t he tied up a minute ago?

The bed dips beside her as Percy takes her foot again, carefully laying one of their smaller ice packs across the throbbing flesh. Her vision clears, blink by blink, and as his concerned but fond face slowly comes into focus, she also spies something trailing from his wrist--a strip of black and white fabric. 

His tie. Snapped in half. Still attached to him. “Did you…?” she trails off.

He flicks his eyes down to his wrist, and flushes, lightly. “Oh. I, uh, guess I did. I didn’t even notice.”

Annabeth’s body grows hot in a way that has absolutely nothing to do with shame. 

“Anyway,” he coughs, dry and useless. “Um, maybe we should call it a night?”

Hiding her face in her arms, she nods. 

***

They try again the next week.

While dictating her notes via speech-to-text, Annabeth had spent the last couple of days occupied with making her own rope, stronger and softer than the ones she had seen in her Incognito Mode searches while doing her business in the bathroom. BDSM rope is surprisingly really expensive, especially the less abrasive stuff, but more than that, she feels kind of… well, it’s weird, the idea of spending money on bondage shit when they’d only tried it once, and not very successfully at that. Like, how about they make sure they actually like it first, says the little Percy in her head who occasionally keeps her from making too many impulse purchases, and then they can upgrade their gear? 

Also, she’s confident her stuff is on par with the really expensive gear anyway. Plus, it’s blue!

And when she dangles it in front of his face, straddling him once again as she slides her wet pussy over his briefs, practically soaking them, he lifts his arms again, a quiet acquiescence, even as his jaw clenches in the barest hint of displeasure. 

Every day Percy does something new to make her fall in love with him. That he trusts her so much to let her tie him up, immobilize him, take away his control like this, even though he’s so clearly hesitant about the whole thing, that’s just today’s thing. She kisses him, soft and sweet, over and over, and he responds in kind, straining his neck to meet her. “You good?” she asks, a whisper into the space between them, and he nods. “It’s not too tight?”

“It’s fine.” She feels more than sees as he flexes his arms again, testing the strength of her rope. 

“Good.” She kisses his nose. No way he’ll be able to break these. 

The second time is already going better than the first. Having divested herself of her clothes beforehand, there’s no danger of her tripping and injuring herself as she lines herself up and sinks down on him, shuddering at the angle as she slides him inside of her. She just sits there for a moment, rocking back and forth on his lap, enjoying the way he fills her nooks and crannies, brushing up against the sensitive skin, closing her eyes against the sensation as she lifts herself up, sliding back down, up and down and up and down and up and down. 

“Fuck, Annabeth,” he moans. “Oh, fuck.”

It’s good. As always. It’s so good. 

But… something is missing.

She squeezes around him, and he hisses, bucking beneath her.

Why isn’t he touching her?

He groans, frustrated, his head making a muffled thump as it drops on the pillow.

Oh. Right.

Usually right about now he’ll go for her tits, his big hands covering them completely, deft fingers pinching and twisting her nipples in the most perfect way, so she decides to show him what he’s missing, bringing her own hands up to her chest, rolling her thumbs over her nipples, smiling as he practically growls. Unfortunately for her, for whatever sick reason, she’s not nearly as good at this as he is, her touches not really doing enough for her. And after a few minutes or so, Percy takes notice.

“Oh gods, Annabeth,” he pants, pulling his legs up behind her, the force almost tilting her forward, and she throws out her hands to catch herself, his abs tensing beneath her as she lands on them, her chest right up against his face. Quick as anything, he lifts his head up, mouth headed for her left nipple before she manages to pull herself back.

She narrows her eyes, falling back on his lap even more heavily, pushing a grunt out of him. “Nice try.”

He only grins back, shark-like, eyes dancing. “Had to give it a shot.”

Of course he did. Percy treats rules like [clever metaphor], easily broken and discarded. And now Annabeth has to punish him. 

Shit.

What are you supposed to do for punishment again? 

Her mind draws a blank.

Percy stares up at her, waiting, brow raised in challenge.

To stall for time, she squeezes around him.

She’d watched a handful of pornos for research, and in a lot of them, the dominant would strike their partner. Percy’s tough, a bit of an adrenaline junkie, and he likes his rough-housing with Clarisse and Frank and the war kids, so he’d probably like that, too, right? If someone did that to her, Annabeth would probably like it.

So she raises her hand, and she brings it down on his soft, untensed, unprepared tummy. Hard.

He jumps so high that he actually manages to buck her off. “OW!”

“Percy!” she cries, scrambling back over to him. “Oh my gods, I’m so sorry!”

“The hell was that for!” he gasps, curling in on himself as best he can with his arms still tied above his head.

“Sorry, sorry,” she gentles, almost frantic, hands hovering over his body. His belly is rapidly turning pink, the outline of her hand stark on his skin, practically radiating heat. “I just--I mean I thought--fuck, I am so sorry!”

He groans in response, eyes squeezed shut. 

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck--”Let--let me get you some ice, or--” she stammers, sliding off the bed.

“Can you at least untie me first?” Percy wheezes. 

“Oh my gods, yeah, hold on.” Despite her shaking fingers, the knot comes undone easily, practically falling apart, and Percy curls himself into a ball, forehead touching his knees.

Returning with an ice pack wrapped in a dish towel, she kisses his shoulder in apology, slipping it between the taut, tight bends of his body. 

He is in real, actual pain. Fuck. “I am so, so sorry,” she says again, her voice wobbling.

Squinting up at her, he tries for a reassuring smile, but falls far, far short, a pained grimace painted across his face. “It’s okay,” he rasps. 

It’s really not, but saying that isn’t going to be so helpful right now. 

Instead, she lies down next to him, resting her hand on his arm, gently stroking back and forth in hopes that it might distract him a little. She knows that whenever her ankle or her shoulder act up, all she wants is Percy’s hands on her, repetitive and soothing. Hopefully she can give back a little of the comfort that he gives her.

After a while, he starts to uncurl. “Goddamn,” he moans, still clutching the ice pack to his stomach. “Remind me never to badmouth the Yankees again.”

She forces out a chuckle for his sake, ducking her head against his. “How is it? One to ten.”

Hissing, he straightens out a little more. “Probably a four,” he says, “but a really spicy four.”

“Percy, I am so--”

“It’s okay.” He knocks his head against her chin. “Maybe just warn me next time?”

“Yeah,” she says, uneasy. Next time is not looking so likely. “Here.” 

Slowly, she helps him into a sitting position, applying extra pressure on his stomach, her hand on top of his. They breathe together, letting the sting fade away until Percy drops his head on hers. 

“Hey,” he says.

“Hey.”

“How are you?”

“How--” she snorts, a little wet. “I’m fine, Percy.”

“Good.”

“I’m sorry about hitting you,” she says. She can’t help but look down at his stomach, pinkness peeking above the ice pack, at his dick, well and truly flaccid. “That was… not my best idea.”

“Can I ask you something?” Tearing her gaze away, she turns back to Percy. “Why are you pushing for this so hard?”

She blinks, taken aback. “What do you mean?”

“Just, you’ve never really expressed an interest in kinky stuff before.” He takes her hand, cold from the ice pack, rubbing his thumb against hers, sweet and intimate. 

“Yeah, well,” she cuddles into Percy a little harder, curving her body around his shoulder. “Some of the girls at Berklee were teasing me about being a little vanilla.” None of it was mean-spirited or anything, but it had stayed with her for a while after it had resurfaced that night. Annabeth Chase, despite having run away from home at the age of seven, was a square, a teetotaler, unadventurous, the kind of woman who spent her Friday nights playing board games with a woman who typified 1930s values. Annabeth Chase, after her short, entirely too eventful life, was going to settle down, and marry the first boy she ever kissed.

It had struck a nerve.

“Being vanilla isn’t a bad thing,” he says, something like concern lacing his voice. “But, are you… not satisfied? With the physical stuff?” The unspoken ‘with me’ hangs between them, and Annabeth pulls back, looking him in the eye.

“Percy.” 

“Mm?”

Reaching up, she kisses him. “Of course not. I could never not be satisfied.”

Something in him eases, almost imperceptible if she didn’t know him as well as she does. “So…”

Shrugging, she lays her head back down on his shoulder. “I dunno. It’s just--like, I’m pretty sure you’re going to be the only person I ever sleep with--”

“Pretty sure?”

She nudges him with her foot, and he laughs, hissing a little as it jostles his stomach. “You know what I mean. I just don’t want to miss out on anything, is all.”

“Like what?”

“Like--” she gestures to the rope, lying forgotten, tangled up in the sheets. “Stuff like that. Kinky stuff.”

“Okay,” he says, slowly. At least he doesn’t think she’s crazy. That’s always nice. “I guess I’m just wondering if you’re actually into bondage and stuff or if we’re just… you know, trying it out.”

Draping a leg over him, knees pressed together, she shrugs. “It sounded pretty fun,” she mumbles into his arm. “You know. Tying you up.”

She feels him swallow, jaw working as he chooses his next words carefully. “Tying me up,” he asks, “or tying you up?”

That… gives her pause. 

“Maybe…” He turns his face towards her, nose in her hair. “We could swap?”

She frowns. “Swap?”

“If you want, I mean,” he says, quickly. “If you’re not--I would never make you do something you didn’t want to, obviously, but, I mean… if you wanted to try?”

Annabeth, for lack of anything to say, rubs her toes against his calf, comforting and grounding.

Does she want to be tied up?

Her first instinct is to refuse, obviously. She’s a warrior. Immobilization is death. And what if a monster attacks? She has to be ready for anything. That was the promise of Athena’s progeny, that they were eternally poised and ready to respond to any problem or threat.

And yet… 

The summer she turned thirteen, she had decided that she was strong enough to hear the siren’s song in the sea of monsters. At her request, Percy had tied her to the mast so she wouldn’t be able to jump in and swim to her death. He had forgotten to take her knife, and when she had, inevitably, fallen prey to their song and cannonballed right into danger, he had jumped in after her, holding her back until she had been able to pull herself out of the magic spell. 

It had been humiliating, and humbling. She hadn’t even begun to realize that she liked Percy as more than a friend at that point. But, years later, the clearest memory she has of that day is not how her pride had reared its ugly head, but instead just how safe she had felt in Percy’s arms, at the bottom of the ocean.

Here, in New Rome, in their apartment, with Percy… Well, what’s the worst that could happen? “Sure,” she says, perhaps a little more confident than she actually feels. 

“Sure?”

“Sure. Why not?” Looking up at him, she searches his gaze for any hesitation or fear, and finds none, and that, more than anything else, settles her. “I’m game.”

He looks for the same in her, and he seems to like what he finds, because he cracks a grin, laying a soft kiss on her lips.

Gingerly, still mindful of his stomach, he reaches over to grab the discarded rope. Taking her hands in his free one, he loops it around her wrists, tucking the ends into itself, tight but not constricting. Comfortable. 

Her breath catches in her throat. 

“You good?”

Nodding, she flexes her wrists outward, just to feel the tension--and she sighs, a breathy moan slipping out of her without her permission.

They freeze.

Annabeth slams her eyes shut, praying he didn’t hear her.

“...Okay then,” says Percy. 

Gods, his shit-eating grin is practically audible. “Shut up.”

“Excuse me?” He leans in, kissing her ear. “Did you just try to tell me what to do?”

She shivers beneath his warm breath. “I…” She is suddenly full of apologies and excuses bubbling up out of nowhere.

Percy hums. “You what?” Slowly, agonizingly, he slides his hand down the length of her body, ending on her tight, just above her knee. He squeezes, featherlight, and she shivers.

“Um,” she says, watching his hand creep higher, his fingers dipping between her legs. “I…”

Then he stops. He stops, that big hand still wedged halfway to her vagina.

“Are--” she stutters, almost yelping as he kisses the sensitive spot beneath her jaw, teeth scraping over the skin. “Are you going to finish?”

“Dunno. Was thinking about it. But maybe I won’t. Maybe,” he chuckles, directly into her ear, his nose pressing against her cheek. His other arm comes around, slipping beneath her bicep, fingers finding her nipple like it’s a damn beacon, and he pinches it, smiling into her skin as she jumps, grunts, and flushes. She wants to touch him so badly, but the angle of her arms is so weird and she’s kind of on top of him, and she can’t reach his cock or his hair or--“Maybe I’ll just get you worked up, and then I’ll go to sleep.”

What--but--he can’t--“I--you--”

“Say you’re sorry,” he teases, pressing his cheek to her head, “and maybe I’ll reconsider.”

Sorry for what?! She almost snaps. Percy’s hand between her legs plays just at the edge of her sensitive spots, teasing with soft touches, driving her crazy. “I’m--I’m sorry, Percy,” she pants, squirming. Maybe if she shimmies down, his hand will move up--

But he won’t be moved. “Sorry for what?”

“For--” he digs a nail into her thigh, a sharp, sweet bite of sensation, like a campfire ember accidentally landing on your skin, bright and pulsing. Fuck, what is she apologizing for? “For hurting you earlier.”

Shaking his head, he chuckles again, moving his hand further away. No! “Close,” he mumbles, “but no cigar--”

Oh! “For telling you what to do!” she blurts. “I’m sorry for telling you what to do!”

He bites her earlobe. His fingers slide up to her pussy, stroking her labia as they open up to him. “There we go.”

And as he jerks her off, bringing her to the finish with the kind of efficiency and skill that only comes after ten thousand hours, he kisses her, wet and hot, mouth insistent, taking her lip between his teeth, and he mumbles: “Good girl. Good fuckin’ girl.”

She breaks, crying into his mouth. 

After a while, he slides his fingers out, giving her one final pass on her clit, and she shudders, whining. “Sorry,” he mumbles, warm. “You good?”

Her tongue heavy in her mouth, all she can do is nod, panting. 

But when he slides his other arm out, making to untie her--”Don’t,” she mumbles, pulling back. 

He starts. “Don’t?”

“Don’t.” Turning into him, she snuggles against him as deeply as she could, her bound hands only making it a little bit awkward, though they do come to rest on his stomach, about the perfect distance for her to reach down and take care of him. “Your turn?”

But he just shakes his head, slinging a leg over hers. “Still a little sore,” he admits, not quite meeting her gaze.

She drops her head onto his chest, relishing in the warm, steady heartbeat beneath her ear. “Sorry.”

“You can make it up to me later,” he says, taking her hands in his, thumb tracing along the edge of the rope. “I’m sure I’ll think of something.”

[clandestine-j]

Gossip Girl, EP. 4 Reaction & Review

Finally, I've gathered all of my thoughts for ep. 4! I had this really cool extra post to the intro and had more thoughts but then I lost the entire thing so I had to re-write the entire post SO, yeah, this is all I have for this part. Also, if anyone has those bts photos please let me know, i’m looking for the ones that have the audience reacting to max’s dick pick from the fashion show, aki biting his lip. please send. 

ADULTS:

Kate & CO: JAIL JAIL JAIL. We had that one teacher being turned on by incest and ruining kids lives. DO BETTER IN JAIL. I'll say tho, the male teacher makes a better gossip girl, he doesn't feel bad and is enjoying it. Kate could never.

Rafa: JAIL. JAIL. JAIL. JAIL. JAIL. I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU, WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU. I hate that they showed us this man having common sense. This man, pushing Max away sexually but understanding that he needs serious help. I hate that they just didn't have them flirting and show us him saying no, I'm so upset. I'm even more upset that I fell for him being the character to subvert the trope. I can only blame myself but blame HBO as well. I also hate the comments saying it's okay or well, the show needs scandal and spice. They could've been photographed together in normal clothes, just standing next to each other. Max could lie to GG. There are a bunch of ways these could become an IC scandal without having them cross the line. If you support this, you need help.

OUR KIDS:

Max: My boy needs therapy, lots of it. Maybe rehab. On one hand, he's being taken advantage of because he's clearly going through something and more than just his dads and he has been for a while. His escapism is dangerous and anyone would be able to prey on that. On the other hand, I need someone to beat his ass. His lines to Rafa about money and career were punch worthy and out-right willing to lie about Rafa doing something to him, even just to press Rafa's buttons. He needs help, he needs to be taught boundaries, he needs a lot. And why were the only two people concerned for his week-long disappearance Aki and Audrey, the whole squad should've had the guns out, friends since childhood, sure.

Obie: My boy, I get that you didn't like where you saw Zoya headed. I get that in some aspects you were right about her being a little too involved and suspecting Julien. That being said, she was having real problems and troubles and needed support. Do better. Obie still isn't the worst character on the show and many of them are SOOOO much worse. He doesn't deserve the all of the smoke he's been getting when their are better people for it.

Monet & Luna: I hate them as people and love them as characters that move the plot. I guess I could see how they thought the fuck school thing was horrible (and Julien too since she planned on showing Obie). The directors cut, I don't think they thought it'd ruin Zoya, they're just fucking cruel and found it funny. Let's box. Also, why are ya'll so pressed over this CHILD. Like get over it, find a real up-coming social media star. 

Aki & Audrey: My good sis, you brought a gay man to make Aki jealous. I'm sick, it was fucking funny. Her comments at first were off the wall, I wish the writers would've done something else but a lot of woman don't see it as normal so I sort of get it. I'm glad she came around by the end. And Aki...he was a little spicy this episode, my boy was ready to pop off a bit AND I AM HERE FOR IT. My dude said, 'I don't regret kissing him' I was THROWN. Aki being with Audrey helps me like her more because she's a bitch that's still ready to gun for a now 15 year old girl but her and Aki's relationship is cute. They could break up and be fine which is great, I love that their relationship is really more than just dating and the friendship is strong. I'm here for it.

Zoya: It's just bad writing but my head canon is trauma. Trauma from her moms death death, trauma from the past and current bullying that caused her lash out. I felt like this was her breaking point (so far) and anything gossip girl related as always came around to Julien. If she trusted Julien more, she wouldn't have thought of her as the person causing her issue's but she doesn't trust her. They were civil but even at the end of ep 2. Her 'hell yeah' to Julien about bonding was too dry, too dry. I think a big part of her just doesn't trust Julien and she'll always think the worse because she's seen mostly the worse. And that video, horrible, I'd hate everything about my birthday too after that and even before. Her emotions during the scene and the talk with Julien, ouch. And while I'm happy that Zoya found herself in the end, YES GIRL POP OFF. THIS IS WHAT I WANTED. THIS IS THE FLAVOR. I WAS WAITING FOR THIS AND I WANT MORE. I DEMAND MORE. I SEE A SPARK OF A BITCH, LET HER OUT GO, GO ALISON DELAOTRUINES ON THESE BITCHES.

Julien: Once again, I love Julien as a character, I know she's supposed to be struggling and for that, It's fun to watch her BUT. Julien could never be on my team, she's too wishy-washy. That is my issue, she's too, just...flip-floppy with no substance. Like, when she does things wrong, they're expected  to be forgiven / are forgiven without true reflection or anything on her part. She fucks up, she see's its wrong and then she says sorry and goes on it does it again. This episode was just the worst example, like, the moment she heard buffalo, she was ready to send in a tip. Instead of just doing the party normally and being best because she's hear, she sends the video to Monet. She believes Luna and Monet (Monet talking about her throne being taken when Zoya isn't even an influencer) and she eats it up. They were the ones who did the dick pick thing, like girl, THINK. And why does she never get the full plan, why would she not watch the video or why is she so shocked that Luna and Monet would play something like that? She knows them. Friends since childhood? Sure. Using your moms name to make the party about charity? SIS, THE FEUD IS NOT WORTH IT. She says she wants to be sisters but then she switches up so fast and the witches up again, it's whip-last and I'm sick. I hate that she's doing this to her and I hate even more that's is the writers fault. I don't mind a character having personal conflict but make it a conflict. Like after four episodes, why is she still friends with her sisters bullies? At the end of the episode, she says she's gonna tell them to lay down their weapons, NO, shut it down. correct them. make it clear and make it known. I love my girl because she's flawed but I wish they'd linger on things and have her really think about it. I was fine with the i'm sorry speech up until the camera part.

Other random thoughts

fuck the rafa max thing again, i'm not over, i will never be over it

evan mock isn't the best but he does give me face at times, his 'wtf stare', little sly looks, the 'wtf' moment when audrey first asked him if he was gay like 'this bitch' also, give him more annoyed, irritated scenes, he gives in those

have julien go full nice or full evil for a while, pick a side and stick with it for more than one episode

i wish zoya was a bitch at her old school but i'm fine with this too, it explains why she was so reactionary when it came to the bullying at constance, not again!

i wish we could've seen julien talk with davis after that stunt

nick and davis, KISS, the ride scene was 100%

don't talk about obie so soon

i like that she chose to be with julien for the night, it was cute

emily makes these faces that i can't get with

eli brown is a good actor, that shot of him during the traumatic reveal

i will say, zobie might be boring but when they talk, they talk, their communication is p good, i don't hate it

i’d be here for obie x aki bc they’re friends, they got chemistry, aki was giving look lil up and downs this episode, aki was giving a lot of looks this ep, honestly, idk i just don’t want him heart broken 

aki menzies is still my comfort character

i couldn't take rafa serious with his ass out,

whitney's acting in that talk scene, perfect, my girl had me in tears because DAMN

jordan is pretty good but in that scene, go girl, give me nothing

fuck max and rafa

max lied about his dads or at least one, AT LEAST one, i don't think they'd do that, he saw his in and took it

aki and aud, just have that open relationship, ya'll will make it, the way he tucked into her, it was so sweet

davi and nick secret relationship plot

jail for all of the teachers, once again

the hallway scene was great, the cinematography is been clutch overall

music wasn't as jarring

that's about it! i have more thoughts on the show overall that might be another post, they have a lot of amazing ideas but they need to stick with one and flush it out is the overall gist, i'm still into it!

can't wait for five bc i love the angst that's about to hit.

[reversecreek]

snickers feverishly at myself for bringing in a 5th... who do i think i am? unstoppable? invincible? suddenly ripples my titanium plated pecs. maybe so. u can find her pinterest here n her playlist here. 

* margaret qualley, cis female + she/her  | you know bradley milligan, right? they’re twenty-four, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, all of their life? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to looking for knives by dyan like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole snow angels trampled through by your father’s footprints, casually reading a newspaper that’s catching flame & stubbing a cigarette against the wing mirror of a parked cop car thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is november 11th, so they’re a scorpio, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt she/her  )

HISTORY:

bradley has this memory of meeting her grandmother for the first time n everything in the room was frozen still. even the air. she didn’t feel like she cld move n she got the impression this is how it’d always been in the milligan lineage. the only thing that was allowed to act of it’s own accord was her grandmother’s eyes as she tracked every slightest flinch of muscle. when her father left the room her grandmother reached out and took bradley’s hand n bradley looked at this like it was smthn she’d never seen before until her grandmother leaned close and all she could stare at was a nicotine stain on one of her front teeth. “he’s cold, isn’t he? he’s always been cold. i don’t think he’s mine.” bradley could tell from how tight she held her hand that he was. she could tell by the way she smiled as she said it, too. the way she felt obliged to smile back.

growing up in a huge white house in aquila drive w pruned hedges sounds idyllic n looks it too. swanky cars w tinted windows in the long driveway. always men filing in and out under the cloak of night wearing expensive suits n smiles worthy of a politician’s billboard. bradley’s mum alyssa thought so too n that’s hw she got into this whole mess tbh. tony milligan is very good at advertising. he cld package a jarred human heart as strawberry jam and convince u to spread it on ur toast if he wanted to. he could make u smile politely as u ate ur own. 

alyssa ws this very pretty blonde kind of mysterious presence in a room. everyone wanted to kno her story or fk her but noone rly treated her like a person more just like a puzzle to solve. john green syndrome alert..... literally manic pixie dream girled bt on turbo charge. there were vague whispers she’d run away from home when she appeared in town out of nowhere bt nothing concrete. tony decided he wanted to crack the case n once he set his mind to something there was no changing it. they wound up embroiled in a whirlwind romance. head over heels. he came at romance hard and fast as a freight train. alyssa knew he was into shady things but not quite the full extent of it n honestly she didn’t care bc she wanted security n a family to call her own n tony promised that. they were married within a year. 

tony came frm money bt he wanted to carve his own path n make his own legacy. destined fr greatness he’d tell her. we’re destined for greatness. it sounds nice doesn’t it! alyssa thought so too.

(drugs mention tw) slowly over the yrs he essentially forged his own crime organisation tht only grew. he opened a strip club down the seedier side of irving called ‘no angels’ n this became the front thru which his gang ran drugs in the back (predominantly coke n they pride themselves fr having a Superior Blend apparently) as well as laundering cash n this also was kind of their home base to hang

(abuse tw) their marriage increasingly lost it’s shine n alyssa came to realise she’d been sold a lie n she didn’t rly know this person or what he was capable of right around the time bradley was born. by then it was kind of like Wow i am rly in this n there is not an exit door huh. i won’t go into details bt things were not good at all. bradley witnessed n experienced a lot of things she shouldn’t have growing up. she didn’t understand why other kids drew home in all these different coloured crayons like they were bright places to be. she didn’t understand why everyone got so excited when the bell rang at the end of the day bc she just felt sick. she rationalised tht this was normal when she was younger bc sometimes kids talked abt the monsters under their beds giving them nightmares n she thought mayb they were talking abt their dads too. as she got older she realised tht actually her world wasn’t the same as anyone else’s n she also realised no-one wld ever be able to tell her why. she started becoming friends with the angry feeling in her chest tht she used to try and swallow around this time. often she’d wander the mall for a while to put off going home. smoke on random park benches. watch trains rattle thru town from the vantage point of a random rooftop. 

(abuse, missing person implied, murder implied & grief tw) when bradley was 12 she woke up and all of her mum’s clothes were gone frm their drawers. no shoes anywhere. a framed photo of them at the beach holding bradley as a baby vanished from over the mantelpiece. when bradley asked her dad what was going on, tony essentially said “it was exhausting her. being here. being your mother. she didn’t want to do it any more, so now she’s gone” n then he hugged her. little details leaked into the mix over the yrs. at one point tony dismissed her as having flown overseas to a foreign country to drink in the sun like she’d always wanted even tho alyssa always told bradley she liked the snow best (once she even walked outside as it fell in a thin lace nightgown when tony was out n when bradley said “mom you’re gonna get cold” she only tugged her down and made her do snow angels until her lips looked blue). the most significant memory bradley can never shake from her head is her mother cupping a yellow tulip at the park n saying she hated them. when bradley asked why she only turned and smiled at her as she stroked the hair from her face n then said “because they look so happy”. after bradley’s mum vanished a long flower bed at the bottom of the garden was suddenly overrun with dozens of freshly planted yellow tulips. whenever bradley looked at them out of her window she got this sickly feeling in the pit of her stomach like she was visiting a cemetery. she suspected what had happened to her mum (especially as rumours circulated within tony’s organisation abt alyssa being unfaithful with someone tht used to work fr him) bt she cld never bring herself to truly accept it. thus she ws stuck in this strange purgatory state of not-quite-anger at her mum for “leaving” and not-quite-grief.

bradley rly started to transgress in school after her mum was gone. alyssa was always kind of a character when she’d pick bradley up (wasn’t doing well n acted kind of ‘eccentric’ i suppose u cld say) so tony managed to spin it all as a child acting out in the wake of an unfit mother uprooting n abandoning. bradley became........ interesting. JKHGFSSKJGHFSGHSKFGHFG. she’d snap n resort to violence very easily. very desensitised to it. students were kind of scared of her tbh. as this progressed into proper high school she got in w the more rowdy popular crowd solely bc she was so fking.... wild for lack of a better word. rly would just do anything fr the thrill. had no sense of ‘i shouldn’t do this bc it’s dangerous’. partied harder than anyone. bit back harder than anyone. no filter. hung w a lot of guys honestly bc they had less morals n either found her scariness cool or wanted to fk <3

(hospitalisation, depression & drugs tw) she’s had. a few stints in psychiatric institutions fr various reasons tbh. missed a small chunk of her senior yr fr this but it wasn’t widely known just kind of rumoured. she showcases a lot of similar symptoms to her mum who struggled w severe depression (which was difficult to cope w when ur husband was often pouring ur prescription down the drain fr kicks) n in order to compensate fr the lows she takes a lot of things to kick them into highs. drinks n snorts too much. bradley i love u bt i’m begging u to seek healthier coping mechanisms......

as the yrs went on (especially once alyssa had gone) tony rly started trying to integrate bradley into the business side of things...... she literally. is named bradley bc he was expecting a boy n he was like well let’s still call her bradley. n had in mind she’d still fulfil the role he wanted her to of being his little protege so to speak.... both sexist n ugly all in one fell swoop...... an example of this is he literally. bought her a mint green switchblade for her 14th birthday n named it tinkerbell bc it would “die without attention” aka using it. tht sounds like a healthy gift to give a child tony congratulations sis <3

in an ideal world bradley wld have gone to uni to study psychology bc she jst wants to know how the fk her dad is literally like that bt she probably stuck around n is now managing no angels along with billy n marco (billy’s in her dad’s gang n is, u guessed it, a cunt, n marco is his sort of right hand man so to speak) bc tony’s in the closest neighbouring city overseeing a second ‘no angels’ opening up there to expand into a franchise n widen their income margins. bradley wld also be sort of used as a honey trap type deal once she got older if they needed to lure ppl places n sometimes still is bt it depends. the guys in the club all know not to mess w bradley bc she’s tony’s daughter n literally kind of scary herself sometimes bt there’s also this certain allure tht comes with being the boss’ daughter n it kind of comes across in how they act or talk abt her. yes i will kill them all n no i won’t feel bad abt it <3

think that’s kind of all u need to kno history wise... blinks one eye out of sync w the other..... runs to personality

PERSONALITY:

a phrase i wld always use to describe bradley in old intros is “like a cup of black coffee with one grain of sugar that u don’t taste until the last sip”. also dark chocolate. lime. liquorice. she’s an acquired taste n i feel like u either love her or u hate her. 

cannot express how unpredictably chaotic she is..... frequently throws a drink in a stranger’s face jst to start something bc she’s bored. loves to hurl cheese slices across the room so they slap onto someone’s face out of nowhere. likes smashing things. stubbing cigarettes out on faces in framed family photographs. will literally pick a lock n then smash the window besides it to defeat the whole purpose just bc she found how neat it was boring. does anything fr the adrenaline n thrill. gets into far too many fights n fights dirty. probably been thrown out of every bar in town at least three times. banned from a bunch too.

she’s witty bt she has a dark sense of humour..... can be quite mean.......... loves to roast ppl for no reason........ honestly has some nathan young frm misfits aspects in that sense like jst seems untouchable emotionally n like she doesn’t take anything seriously n is fking outrageous about it.....

has this quality abt her tht kind of scares herself sometimes. it’s like she recognises parts of her dad in her. she’s very perceptive (bc she’s had to be over the yrs trying to read every micro-expression of her dad’s to predict what’s next) n like emotionally intelligent in a way which is ironic bc her own emotions r just an absolute minefield.... bt. she can read people quite well. gets this eerily calm look abt her sometimes n it’s jst like god what’s. she thinking. what’s she’s gna do. i’m shaking. a cool n controlled kind of rage can often be scarier than the explosive type n bradley does that well. grits my teeth n tugs on my collar....

very strong on the surface. hates being vulnerable. has this ingrained idea that crying is childish or rly any kind of emotional display within herself. 50% not taking things seriously 50% angry. tht’s how she comes across....... internally? whole different story. bt ppl don’t see that.

very cavalier abt some things. will flash her tits n not even think abt it. jst very out there...... one of her closest friends is a homeless man named joe who wears neon purple fishnets on his head n loves to spit on ppl from over an underpass. finds eccentric ppl like this funny n surrounds herself w them. loves to be kept on her toes.

LOVES driving stolen cars down the wrong side of the highway. it’s a lot.

fiercely loyal to a fault to a select few bt if u wrong her personally this can switch pretty quick. quite a force to b reckoned w n will hold a grudge. bt like. if ur a Chosen One she’d bury a body for u no questions asked. 

WANTED CONNECTIONS

deals to u: bradley isn’t like full time into dealing bt she does do it sometimes.... treats it kind of like a hobby bc the lesser ranked can do tht shit as far as she’s concerned bt.. sometimes also jst gets bored n is like. why not. might be chaotic. mayb they’ll try to rob me <3 we love the thrill <3 or like..... if ur friends w her she’ll deal to u n no she will not do a friends discount <3 or if she does there will definitely be some sort of stipulation attached <3

high skl crew: if ur muse is local n ws an absolutely demonic hell spawn in high skl tht went to 1974547254 parties n was outrageously chaotic n rude then. bradley probably was friends w them <3 her friendships tend to be surface level bt they’d definitely go out a bunch bt whether they actually knew a lot abt her life is debatable bt we could explore options fr this

people who work at no angels: no angels is her dad’s strip club in irving that she kind of helps to run now. it’s kind of a shifty environment. the place where ud have an outrageous bachelor party. u go for the first time w a fake id n u get served bt u also get ur wallet stolen n ur convinced someone spat in ur drink n u also kind of think there might b a hit on u now after u made eye contact too long w a broad shouldered man smoking in a back booth. scary environment. testament to her dad as a person. maybe ur muse is a dancer there or works the bar or security or whatever u name it....

ma’am are u ok?: ur muse found bradley passed out across two bus seats one time in smudged dark eyeliner a silver slip dress n the world’s chunkiest combat boots this town hs ever seen. sometimes she winds up in spots like this when she goes too hard n it’s absolutely dangerous n reckless bt that’s jst bradley <3 mayb they forged an unlikely friendship frm this strange meeting or maybe even? dare i say it? a romance? opposite worlds colliding? good influence? let’s go crazy. release ur inhibitions. feel the rain on ur skin.

hook-ups: bradley’s cavalier abt this stuff..... very unemotional typically..... mayb we cld do an unrequited thing that wld be angsty n fun altho i won’t lie i don’t kno if she’d be the one to catch the feelings.... she rarely sleeps over bt once when she woke up in someone’s bed she hiked over to straddle them carefully as possible so they wldn’t wake up n then pressed her knife to their neck as a fun little surprise where she said boo when they opened their eyes.... she’s a lot clearly.

watermelon slugger, hiiii: bradley has this habit where she gets a bunch of watermelons n then goes to a rooftop n throws them over the edge to watch them explode when they hit the pavement.... maybe ur muse almost got hit by one once n were like WTF???????? another quirky meet cute moment like the bus one <3 can’t stop w them <3 maybe she randomly invited ur muse to do it w her when they were like. a stranger of f the street. she was bored. decided to adopt them as a science experiment. we cn elaborate on this probably....

ouch charlie: similar territory bt she also sometimes shoots pedestrians w a bb gun from rooftops. mayb ur muse wld always get hit by one on a certain route they walked n finally one day they saw her head ducking down behind a ledge n then they see her in the street one day n are like HEY IT’S YOU............. WTF? n bradley’s like ya i’m christ risen again it’s a lot to take in i know...

rly jst anything... mutually destructive friends... exes.... in one rp a character tried to get close to bradley so he cld write an expose all book about her n her family which i found so fking funny so i’ll request that again.... people she’s fought.... ppl whose gf/bf she’s fk’d n it’s caused enemy status.... someone whose place she broke into and shaved their eyebrows off in the night only to draw them on again in crudely thin permanent sharpie lines.... roommates cld be fun n sexy i’d love that actually.... jst anything rly. go wild. kisses everyone tenderly on cheeks.

[marlsbuck]

— && guests may mistake me as ( haley lu richardson ), but really i am ( marley buckley + cisfemale + she/her ) and my DOB is ( 6/13/1994 ). i am applying for the ( vet tech ) position as part of the EHP and would like to live in suite ( 211 ). i should be hired because i am ( witty & empathetic ), but i can also be ( indecisive & absent-minded ) at times. personally, i like to ( dance, knit & volunteer at the zoo ) when off the clock, but that won’t interfere with work.

hi pals! we’re back with a marley mae revamp! our favorite lil cowgirl is getting the makeover she deserves, so let’s get started, shall we?

before we get too into it, though, we have a stats page and a pinterest (which is also getting a revamp before too long bUT...i digress).

lil tw moment: abuse, alcohol, drug, death mention tws. per usual, i went a little heavy on the tws just to be safe! 

- marley mae buckley was born june 13th, 1994 to finnegan and shailene buckley.

- her father is a chief exec at an oil company and her mother was a stay at home mom and socialite, the latter of which she preferred.

- the family moved to billings, montana shortly after marley was born so her father could be more involved with work. this meant her mother had more time on her hands and more time to attempt to mold marley into the perfect daughter.

- except marley liked dirt, climbing tress, and pretending to ride the family dog like a rodeo bull.

- needless to say that did not go well????

- substance abuse tw early in marley’s life, her mother mixed prescription pills and pinot, which only made the tension between the two more intense. 

- abuse tw baby marls never understood why her mother would want to self medicate, essentially checking out and missing a majority of her only child’s life, until one night after her father came home after a day of ‘meetings’. smelling like expensive scotch and cigar smoke, marley saw her father hit her mother for the first time.

-  abuse tw she didn’t witness the actual abuse often, but marley started noticing the signs more and more often. bruises around wrists, large sunglasses when it wasn’t sunny out, concealer caked around her eyes and jaw. for a while, she begged her mother to take her and leave, but marley’s mother refused - firm in her belief that she wouldn’t be able to make it on her own.

- so they endured. more often than not, marley’s mother took her pain and frustration out on her daughter. it didn’t take long for marley’s parents toxicity to turn her into an angry, resentful person. marley was around 8 when she started acting out - “accidentally” breaking things around the house, saying out of pocket things at her father’s work events or fancy dinner parties. marley was 10 the first time she left home and didn’t come back for hours on end, only to come back and realize no one had really noticed she was gone.

- when she was about 13, marley really started acting out and rebelling. she started hanging out with a rougher group of kids who were significantly older than her. even though she never took part in the more intense stuff, marley did manage to get herself into some trouble that finally managed to catch her parents’ attention.

-  one night, while out with that older, rougher group of friends, marley was arrested for a destruction of property charge. since she was a minor, her parents were called immediately and, after making a sizable donation to billings pd, made the whole thing go away.

- officially done dealing with marley and the whole “mothering” of it all (if you can call it that), her parents shipped her back to their hometown of big timber to live with her paternal grandparents.

- she tried to run away a few times (even going so far as to steal her grandfather’s work truck - even tho she didn’t get far because she didn’t know how to drive stick yet) because rebellious, but after paw made her stay and help one of their cattle give birth, marley fell in love.

- marley fell in love with every animal on the ranch - all their quirks and distinct personalities. it quickly became the home marley’d never had. it was warm and loving and full of joy and life. her grandparents became the only parents she’d ever really known.

- they were the only reason marley agreed to go back to her parents. they’d made a deal that if she behaved at “home”, she’d be able to spend the rest of her summers at the ranch.

- so marley went back to her parents and did the dance classes, and dinner parties, and even did the whole debutante thing and “came out” to society.

- at 16 she petitioned to be emancipated and a judge granted said petition. she promptly moved into the renovated barn at the ranch that her grandparents had rented out while she finished school.

- marley ended up graduating early and began attending classes at the local community college, eventually getting her associates in science all while still working on the ranch when she could.

- at 19, marley began classes at montana state, majoring in microbiology as a pre-vet track.

- death tw shortly after she finished her first year at msu, marley found out her mother passed unexpectedly. when she went to attend the services, her father effectively disowned her (even though they hadn’t spoken in years) and blamed her for her mother’s issues and death.

- marley came back to the ranch more depressed than she’d ever been and instead of dealing with the hurricane of emotions she felt, marley dropped out of school and ran

- marley drove all along the west coast, eventually settling on a cattle farm in texas.

- there, marley met literally the worst thing to ever happen to her. only a month or two after settling in texas, marley started dating wade because mess attracts mess. duh. his parents owned the farm she was working on and he gave her attention. that’s it. that’s all it took.

- abuse tw it didn’t take long for the gas lighting, lying, and cheating to start. a short six months into their relationship was when the physical abuse started. growing up, she’d always told herself that she’d never allow a man to treat her the way she’d watched her father treat her mother - that she’d be stronger than her mother and leave after the first time. finally, though, marley realized the battle her mother had fought to endure all those years of abuse and just how hard it was to muster the courage to leave. 

- to this day, marley carries around the guilt of spending years blaming her mother for being weak and missing the opportunity to apologize while she was still alive.

- eventually paw caught on and WASN’T having any of it. so he snuck down with maw in the middle of the night while wade was out on a bender and packed marley’s shit and took her back home to the ranch like the knight in shining armor that man is.

- two years of animal therapy and literal therapy, marley applied to finish her bachelors in chicago after maw suggested it. she was accepted and once again left her home behind, but this time it was to chase her dream and we’re all v proud.

- she’s been at the mlanati now for two years and has finished her bachelors and is a certified vet tech. she’s currently in her last year of undergrad and is getting ready to start applying to vet schools officially.

hcs!

- marley is a jeeple. she owns a 2008 black jeep wrangler x. 100% named it ringo. definitely has a black jeep of the family bumper sticker and let me tell you, this girl is SO proud.

- y’all will never catch this girl in shoes. she will start the day in shoes and by the time lunch rolls around she’s barefoot. the only pair of shoes she enjoys wearing are her justin boots or her vvv worn out vans. 

- she knits when she’s anxious, which is more often than not now that she’s in a new place. but it also means she’s giving out cute lil beanies and scarves to her new frens.

- loves and i mean LOVES westerns. tombstone and gunsmoke were staples growing up.

- also probably the worlds biggest dolly parton fan. if it involves dolly, marley is in.

- ALIENS, MAN. your girl loves aliens and most space things. roswell (the og and new shows) are her jam bc...y’know....cowliens.

- she has three tattoos: some wildflowers on her upper left ribs, “worthy” in her grandpa’s handwriting on her upper right forearm, and the silhouette of big timber peak at the nape of her neck.

- marley is also one of those people that doesn’t need a ton of sleep? 4-5 hours max and she’s golden.

- cold brew coffee also runs through her veins. her coffee order is a trenta cold brew with hazelnut and almond milk, thanks. it’s also probably one of the reasons she never stops moving....ever.

- big time questioning her sexuality. marley’s only ever been with men, but uuuuuhhhhh WOMEN y’know? also nb folx are v nice. we do not discriminate in this house.

- 2 cats! doc (7 y/o himalayan long hair) and ike (2 y/o munchkin). both rescues she met while volunteering at a shelter.

- snake tw would also v much like a colombian rainbow boa pls and thank

- will always make time to take a dance class or book space to just dance all her feelings out. it’s one of the few joys she has that comes without feelings of pressure or stress. 

- holds most  people at arms length. she’s more than happy to listen and support everyone around her, but is a literal steel trap when it comes to talking about herself and her past.

- alcohol/drugs tw not a drinker. buckley’s don’t have a great track record of being able to handle their liquor (never let her do shots pls), so marley sticks to the occasional blunt. esp when she’s feeling extra anxious, it calms her down and evens her out.

- she do be jumpy af! loud noises (that don’t obviously come from animals) make her anxious and shaky. it’s the *pTsD*.

- marley’s triggers include but are not limited to: grabbing her face/chin, breaking glass, loud noises - specifically yelling, general violence, the smell of vodka or scotch and cigar smoke, being grabbed from behind/picked up without warning.

wanted connections!

- travel pals! : people marley met on her trip from montana to texas! she wouldn’t have stuck around long, but she was a hot ass mess and these would have been people who met her at p close to her lowest? so seeing her at the malnati would be like meeting a whole new person. she’ll probs be hella flustered and embarrassed so, like, we love that.

- hype squaaaaaad! : marley’s self esteem is still.........nonexistent, almost. she’s all about giving the love, but is the worst at accepting it, so obviously we need someone to shove all the love and positive affirmations her way! help ya girl see her worth!

- post hook ups! : likely only one or two! marley isn’t one to hook up unless she’s feeling pretty awful about her self and needs some instant validation. can be awkward or cordial! i’m down to plot specifics!

- crushes! : unrequited or nah (lbr i’d live for unrequited pls) male, female, nb - gimmie it all! babie is ready to give all the love....kinda. from afar. bc trauma. bUT!!! leggo. lololol.

- confidant! : literally probably the only connection that’s limited to one person. they know eeeeverything. every horrid, gruesome detail about marley’s past and all her insecurities. they could be someone that met her when she was on her way to texas/she met in texas or someone she met after and got to witness one of her panic attacks post texas. aka the one person she trusts most.

- scurry folx! : pls gimmie plots where marley is at odds with someone, whether or not it’s because they scare her a lil (aka angry, aggressively loud, bully-ish type someones) or just people who can’t handle her goofy, oddball, pollyanna type personality! i. need. ANGST!! pls. ty.

- chemistry, ofc!

[imgoingtocrash]

1-20 lololol

thank u for your pity savannah joke’s on all of my followers I am absolutely going to answer them all because I’m bored

1. who is the hardest character for you to write?

At the moment it’s MJ--but I’m slowly overcoming that writing block and getting to know her better as I write her. Otherwise...I don’t know, I rarely write for characters if I don’t feel I have a decent angle on them.

2. who is the easiest character for you to write?

Deadpan Snarkers, lol. Tony, Kanan, sometimes Jyn...though I used to like writing for Felicity a lot too because she’s very cute-funny instead of snarky-funny and it was interesting to play with.

3. How do you know if your writing is “in character”?

This is tough, because I think a lot of the fun of fanfic is that we play with what “in character” means, but in my writing, I imagine it all very cinematically--could I imagine the character being played that way by their actor, could I make this scene happen in some alternate universe tv show and feel like it meshes with the real thing (or what I would prefer the canon character was like, in some cases)?

4. Where do your story ideas come from?

It depends. Sometimes it’s seeing something that already exists and taking inspiration (EX: an AU, a trope, an episode of TV, a movie) and other times it’s a very specific scene in my head. (EX: Tony finding Peter in the cabin in your energy has not died. I had to iron out the details of the story as a whole, but I saw Peter’s cabin and Tony’s approach very clearly.)

5. Do you tell the people in your life that you write fics?

I used to, but now I’m more careful about it. My parents have always supported it, but they didn’t really get it. Friends I’ve had since high school are either fandom friends who read it or friends who I showed my writing to at the time. My roommate in college wrote some, so we’d talk about it sometimes. I don’t talk about it at work because it doesn’t really come up, but I don’t think my boss or anyone would think it’s too weird bc we’re all creatives.

6. What has been the hardest fic for you to write?

Invulnerable is off and on hard, just because it’s a very “I HAVE AN IDEA...aaaand now I have to make it into a whole Thing” process that I have with it. this was is the story of our lives was pretty tough just because it’s futurefic, and I was determined to get my ages and dates and things right, and with Star Wars that can be a whooooole monster.

7. What fic of yours makes you the most emotional?

Chapters 5 and 6 of Invulnerable made my eyes water for sure. I haven’t been through anything like it, but the emotional, physical places that I put Tony and Peter in for those chapters were really raw. A Foreign Feeling is pretty high up there now, because it took MONTHS of work with Savannah, and it was fun and emotional and we both had writers block at times but WE DID THE DAMN THING and it feels really good and weird to have it done. Also, you got me hoping for a miracle, because it’s THE HUG WE DESERVED!!!

8. What is a scene you wrote that you are most proud of?

The Vanity Fair article in i fell for mantle photographs is a point of pride for me. I don’t know why, I just always wanted to do something like it, and it feels sleek and modern and super in-universe.

9. Is there one character that you refuse to write? why?

I don’t have any hard and fast rules or anything, but it’s unlikely I’ll ever write for villains. I know some people get a kick of exploring their POVs, but I rarely do.

10. When you write fics, how much of canon are you willing to ignore/skip over?

It seems like a cop-out to say it depends, but it does. In general I’m pretty flexible (most commonly, in who lives and dies), but there’s a point where it essentially becomes original fiction with character names slapped on it, you know? I like to be able to recognize the characters I’m reading about, even if it’s in an AU.

11. Do you prefer to be cold or hot when you write?

Cold. I like to bundle up and sit in my little writing blanket cocoon.

12. What is your ideal writing area?

I do just about everything on my laptop, in my bed. It’s made for staying comfy while writing for hours.

13. How do you come up with your titles?

I’m a fan of using details and quotes from the stories themselves. I also like using songs/quotes as a title that have relation/meaning to the story. I just want things to connect and have meaning.

14. How do you come up with chapter titles?

Honestly, I usually don’t use chapter titles much. When I do, it’s pretty basic.

15. At what point in writing a fic, do you decide to quit?

Well, passion is a big part of it. If I don’t want to write the fic anymore...I won’t. There are also some points where I just...know it’s not going anywhere. If I can’t come up with the next section, if I’ve been stuck on one place for months and purposefully am writing everything else BUT that fic...it’s time to let it go. If an impulse idea makes me want to pick it back up, it’s always there, but I have a lot of WIPs and I try to prioritize and keep it fun by doing whatever I feel like doing.

16. How much of your personal life do you put into fics?

Too much? Not enough?? Tbh I’m inspired by events/people from my life more than I directly reference specific things. Like, 287 Miles, i like (the idea of) you, and the Twenty-Something series weren’t my college experience, but there were a lot of things inspired by campus life, stressors I experienced, or ways I wish my college life had been.

17. What is the most supportive comment you have gotten?

Most recently, the user Laronia on AO3 literally commented on EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY MARVEL FICS. ALL OF THEM. AND THEN LEFT A GIANT, AMAZING COMMENT ON A Foreign Feeling. I am so incredibly touched about it. No one has ever done that before. I felt like a fucking superstar all day.

18. What is the most negative comment you have gotten?

Someone left comments on a couple of my Star Wars Rebels fics that were literally just. Fact correcting me. The most UM, ACTUALLY, bullshit. ON CANON DIVERGENT FICS. Like, no other commentary about the fic. They took the effort to sign in and comment as a guest--not a member, a guest with a username--just to “correct me”. Why. Anyway, in retaliation, I then took the effort to put those comments in the I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS DUDE meme from It’s Always Sunny and sent it to a friend to make myself feel better.

19. How do you handle negative comments?

I really don’t get many, which has been a relief. I think a lot of us do extra research on things like canon timelines, medical jargon, etc. because we’ve experienced gatekeepers like the above commenter and it sucks. We’re terrified that with every fic we have to prove ourselves as “real fans” “worthy” of writing fic. I still do it, even though a part of me wants to be the kind of person that doesn’t spend an hour researching smoke inhalation treatments, what ages everyone was before the Blip, or what year x Star Wars battle happened. I just...try to be kind to my fellow writers and hope that karma comes back to me.

20. What story that you have written makes you the happiest to re-read?

The Cloak Verse is so soft, as a series. Everything in it is fluffy and whumpy and there just because I wanted it to exist. Also, everything I did for Pepperony Week 2019! I worked really hard on all of them, and every one came out really well imo. Again--they’re fics I wanted to read for them, so I made them. OH, and Honorary Stark. It’s EXCELLENT 5 Times fic in general, and I love when I get to do The OTP + The Parent&Child Relationship. (Plus, 3rd Person Perspective on The OTP!)

[thediverismylove]

LOVER TRACK BY TRACK REVIEW

i forgot that you existed — don’t like the beginning she sounds like a robot lol. “in my feelings more than drake”??? girl no thank you. not a big fan of this song. 3/10. fave lyric is “it isn’t love / it isn’t hate / it’s just indifference”; least fave is “in my feelings more than drake, yeah”.

cruel summer — love the production on this one! her voice sounds really good and i love the way she sings “cruel summer”. 8.5/10. fave lyric is “so cut the headlights / summer’s a knife / i’m always waiting for you just to cut to the bone”; no least fave lyrics here!

lover — the TENDERNESS of this song! love how easy and pretty and acoustic it it is. 9.5/10. fave lyric is “my heart’s been borrowed and yours has been blue / all’s well that ends well to end up with you”; no least fave again!

the man — okay “when everyone believes you / what’s that like?” wig! also when she’s like if i was a man…….then i’d be the man…….and the synths do That in the background? it does feel very Feminism 101 in the verses but the chorus is fun! idk i expected more from this one and it’s def fun but not an all time fave. 6/10. fave lyric is “i’m so sick of running as fast as i can / wondering if i’d get there quicker if i was a man”; least fave is “and they would toast to me, oh, let the players play / i’d be just like leo in saint tropez”.

the archer — SO gorgeous and vulnerable! love the gentle and introspective vibes of this one and how simple the backing track is. her voice is so pretty in this one! would love to hear this totally acoustic. 9.5/10. fave lyric is “i cut off my nose just to spite my face / and i hate my reflection for years and years”; least fave is the pre-chorus bit that’s similar to humpty dumpty you know the one lol.

i think he knows — ugh hate the intro again talky-singing works well for her sometimes but it really doesn’t work here. very bored by this one. it feels like it’s trying so hard to be fun but it doesn’t have particularly interesting instrumentals/synths/whatever and her voice is way too talky-singy for me here. the last chorus is kinda fun but not enough to fix the whole song. 4/10. favorite lyric is “he got my heartbeat / skipping down sixteenth avenue baby”; least fave is “he got that boyish look that i like in a man / i am an architect, i’m drawing up the plans”.

miss americana & the heartbreak prince — pretty intro! the talky-singing works a little better for me here. the pageant/prom conceit is fun. very amused by her still comparing her adult life to high school prom considering she left high school at like what 15/16 for music? jdeasjkkjcskjn it’s fun tho this song is fun. i have a feeling this one will grow on me. 8/10. fave lyric is “we're so sad, we paint the town blue / voted most likely to run away with you”; least fave is the “she’s a bad bad girl bit” lol 

paper rings — ooh fun intro! like whatever effect they have over her voice. this one has a really cool beat. like the kiss me once/kiss me twice bit. the chorus is really sweet! the tune is very dance-worthy. i could def see this being played in a romcom (cue me adding it to the playlist for my gay summer camp romcom). didn’t expect to like this one so much but i’m enjoying it a lot so far! idk abt the lyrics im not even listening that closely jfekwjakjnkjn i just love the beat and the effect they have over her voice. also can’t stop thinking about when rey @theglowpt2 said “wrap your arms around me, baby boy” sounds something the try guys would shout at each other lmfao. 8.5/10. fave lyric is “darling, you’re the one i want / and paper rings and picture frames and dirty dreams / oh, you’re the one i want”; least fave is “wrap your arms around me, baby boy” bc of aforementioned try guys energies making it humorous instead of cute as intended for me.

cornelia street — like her voice in the intro it sounds very pretty and soft! don’t like the weird synth thing going on at the beginning tho it’s giving me a headache. don’t like the way she launches into the chorus it feels very abrupt. “we bless the rains on cornelia street” lol is this a toto ref? this one is pretty underwhelming ngl. her voice is pretty in some places here though. would probably enjoy an acoustic version of this a lot more. 6/10. fave lyric is “and baby, i get mystified by how this city screams your name”; no least fave lyric but i hate those loud synth things at the beginning more than anything.

 death by a thousand cuts — totally thought this was gonna be a song about like. bitter ~haters~ or smth by the title. her voice is really pretty after the “my my my” bit! love the synths in this one. the line about the traffic lights…...wig! okay totally expected to not like this one but i kinda like it. laughing at her going “UNITED WE STAND” tho lmfao. this one will def grow on me. 8/10. fave lyric is “i ask the traffic lights if it’ll be alright / they say i don’t know”; least fave is “our songs, our films, united we stand / our country, guess it was a lawless land”.

london boy — oh excited for the absolute INSANITY of this one girls! DID SHE JUST REFER TO HER HOMETOWN AS SOCAL GIRL YOU ARE FROM PENNSYLVANIA!!!!! also so amused about she needs to reference the fact that she is american and her bf is british so many times. if i heard this song out in public i’d have to die. did she make a p!atd ref lol. unfortunate as hell but it’s kinda fun. 4/10. fave is none of it; least fave is all of it. 

 soon you’ll get better — oh this one is gonna make me SOB i just know it!!!! the vulnerableness of it all. thank you for a song about family ms taylor! the harmonies w the dixie chicks i’m ascending. this one is so so gorgeous and heartbreaking and the first song off this album that actually really made me Feel Something. 10/10. fave lyric is “the buttons of my coat were tangled in my hair / in doctor’s office lighting / i didn’t tell you i was scared”; no least fave!!! She’s Perfect

 false god — intro is fun! i like her voice in this one it’s #sexi. the line abt being nyc is funny lol…..girl what does that mean you are not a town what does that MEAAAAN. taylor swift said YES i fuck what about it in this song. the line about being the west village…...what does that mean? he’s expensive??? 6.5/10. fave lyric is “the altar is my hips / even if it’s a false god / we’d still worship this love”; least fave is “staring out the window like i’m not your favorite town / i’m new york city, i’d still do it for you, babe”.

 you need to calm down — i REFUUUUSE to listen to this song all the way it’s so corny and ridiculous. taylor rly thot she was doing smth w this one. 3.5/10. no fave lyric; least fave is like. ALL of it it’s very cheesy.

 afterglow — pretty vocals! love me some vulnerable songs. not much to say about this one lol. i like the chorus a lot. 7.5/10. fave lyric is “fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves / chemistry 'til it blows up, 'til there’s no us / why'd I have to break what i love so much?”; least fave is “tell me that it’s not my fault / tell me that i’m all you want / even when i break your heart”.

 me! — unpopular opinion but i actually prefer me! to yntcd. idk why i just feel like me! knows how ridiculous and silly it is but yntcd does not. maybe that’s just me tho? 4/10. can’t believe she killed the best line of all time aka “hey kids spelling is fun”...that was HILARIOUSLY BAD AND WONDERFUL AT THE SAME TIME. that would’ve been the fave; least fave is the awkward uncomfortable space where “hey kids spelling is fun” used to be.

 it’s nice to have a friend — very forgettable. her vocals here are pretty but the song overall is nothing special imo. do like the dreamy vibes tho! 4.5/10. fave or least fave lyrics tbh it’s just boring to me pretty but boring.

 daylight — WHY is taylor swift so obsessed w/ mentioning that some of her friends turned out to be dicks. absolutely OBSESSED w/ that edit that’s like “i wounded the good and trusted the wicked” over katy perry and karlie kloss respectively it’s peak comedy. very pretty vocals but has some unfortunate lyrics! 5.5/10. fave lyric is “i, i just think that / you are what you love”; least fave is “i wounded the good and i trusted the wicked / clearing the air, i breathed in the smoke”.

overall: probably like a 6.5/10? had some really great tracks like lover & the archer & soon you’ll get better but also some BAD ones like me!, yntcd, and i forgot that you existed. it was a fun time but not an all time fave. in terms of tswift album rankings i’m not sure where i’d put it yet get back to me on that one. anyways i’m gonna go listen to lucy dacus now bye

[tarithenurse]

Growing up with Shuri - Headcanon

I’m not trying to dis T’Challa here ‘cause he’s intelligent and worthy and I love him (who in their right mind wouldn’t, am I right?). But please…just consider how it must’ve been growing up after Shuri entered the picture. The child prodigy that grew up to be *the* smartest person on the planet…and sassy too. Don’t get me wrong: they love each other all the time…sometimes it just gets a bit salty.

-        10yo T'Challa fuming and groaning bc his little sis went and corrected his homework…again

-        Shuri getting bumped up into T'Challa's class because she's bored out of her mind on the level she was at, so she started making little smoke/stink bombs out of erasers and other normal items,

-        Or kept hacking into the speaker system to make announcements about "Snow days" (though it never snows there) etc.

-        Or that one time, where she took over the teacher's control of the digital black board and started making comics calling out the historical figures they were learning about on their mistakes.

-        T’Challa getting endlessly teased by his close friends because they’ve found out Shuri scored higher in some test.

-        T’Chaka and Ramonda trying their damndest to get Shuri to play down the glee so they can encourage T’Challa to believe in himself and work hard.

-        Ramonda praising T’Chaka just as much as Shuri only to have the girl explain the pedagogical/psychological reasoning behind it. She’s 9.

-        T’Challa eventually getting Shuri started on rants by dropping some random “factoid” which he obviously knows is wrong.

-        She goes on for hours.

-        It kinda backfires because now she’s got an idea on how to improve something and he’ll have to listen to why *her* way is so much better.

-        Shuri begins to see why T’Challa sometimes gets pissed off and she brags less.

-        Eventually helping each other out in the few subjects that cause trouble (let’s face it…it’s not a lot).

-        The day arrives where they join forces to wreak havoc on the court.

-        Somehow overnight salt and sugar has been switched.

-        Who the fuck added food colour to the fish tanks?

-        Why are the spears replaced by pool noodles?!

-        Can some one stop the elevators and automatic doors from playing the Mario-tune?!?

-        Why are there googly eyes on every single portrait?!

-        Somehow every official document can only be accessed by solving an equation on light speed’s effect on mass (or something).

-        T’Challa fervently trying to keep Shuri out of trouble when the pranks lead back to them…

-        Because she promised to do his advanced chem homework for three months.

-        …and so on and so forth…

[supersleepygoat]

I was barely 16 and I also remember I got out of the room and he was there and I tried to hit him and he was laughing. the bastard had been smoking and drinking and inhaling so much shit that night I don't even know if he remembers me or what happened. I wish I didn't. I think he graduated college not too long ago and I'm here ranting to a stranger bc I can't get his face out of my mind and the things he made me do and I feel like I never want to move a single muscle anymore.

First of all, yes, hun… this is absolutely a safe place for you to come to say whatever you need to say. I know me saying “I’m sorry this happened to you” may sound a bit stupid given the gravity of the situation, but I truly am sorry that this happened and that it has affected you so much.

The second thing I want to say is that please never ever minimize your experience because you believe someone else had it worse than you or that you are not entitled to feel your pain to the extent you feel it because there are people with “worse” stories than you or yours was “not as bad” as someone else’s. I am going to tell you right now, and keep telling you until you believe it, your story matters. It doesn’t matter what anyone else has gone through… YOU MATTER! Your story matters! The moment we start comparing our stories to someone else’s, that is the exact moment we internalize the myth that we are not worthy of support or that his behaviour is ‘normal’ and ‘it could be worse.’ That is an utter lie. Every single woman or girl I talk to about this kind of thing says the exact same thing: “I know it could have been worse” or “what happened to me is not as bad as what other people have been through.” Every. Single. One. I do it too, so I am not blaming you. We always try to qualify our stories by saying “I know it’s not as bad as what other people have to deal with,” but that is such a toxic mindset instilled in us as women because we are trained to believe that we shouldn’t feel our pain to the extent it is meant to be felt. It is a mindset that tells us we should be GRATEFUL for what happened because… he could have killed us, or he could have done any number of things that are “worse.” There is nothing worse because it is all relative to your OWN experiences, no one else’s. I will never be grateful to my rapist. I will never give him the reprieve or the excuse or the favour of minimizing his behaviour by minimizing my pain. (Sorry about the side-rant… I just really want you to know that just because you say your experience wasn’t as “aggressive” as some other situations, that in NO WAY takes away from the importance of your experience.)

I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you to not only carry that memory but also see him in your current life all the time. You deserve a chance to move past this (or at least heal from it) and you deserve to not have to associate with him at all. It is incredibly unfair how you have to wear this trauma and be triggered by it whenever you see him and yet he doesn’t even care/remember what he did. He’s disgusting and horrible. It is totally unfair how an abuser can ruin your self-esteem and ruin your future relationships and yet he/she seems totally unaffected. That is the definition of injustice.

Please please please believe me when I say that it was NOT your fault. The fact you had been drinking or smoking doesn’t matter! Please NEVER think there is something YOU could have done differently… this is on HIM and only HIM. He made the choice to violate your consent, not you. Falling asleep is not an invitation. Being drunk is not an invitation. Being high is not an invitation. Not saying “no” is not an invitation. Being a woman is not an open invitation to be sexually assaulted! This is on HIM. This is NOT on you.

I am so sorry that you have been unable to enjoy sex and unable to trust anyone in the way you used to, but those feelings are 100% valid and understandable. Having your sense of security utterly violated and your sense of autonomy stripped from you is devastating, especially since he laughed at you afterwards, that is just heartbreaking. He’s a monster. You are entitled to own that pain; you should never have to minimize it just to make other people feel better or more comfortable. It is clearly still something that upsets you and triggers you both emotionally and physically, so please know that I hear you and I respect the hell out of you for taking a moment to yourself to own your pain.

If I were you, I would unfollow your friend who posts about him. You don’t have to tell anyone why if you’re not comfortable, you can just say Instagram glitched or something but get that negativity away from you. You do NOT need to be seeing him on your feed. You do not deserve to have surprise triggers on your social media.

You deserve so much better! You deserved better from him that night and you deserve to talk about it, if talking about it is what you need/want, and you deserve not to be triggered unexpectedly on social media. I want only the best for you. I want you to enjoy sex again, I want you to be touched without feeling sick, and I want you to be able to hug people again. Most of all, I want you to be happy. I want you to live a life without fear, without breakdowns, without triggers. I want you to continue being the beautiful person you are. Someone may have imposed themselves onto your story, but it is still YOURS. You are still an autonomous and strong person and you are never alone.

I hope you still find this was a safe place for you, despite my longwinded and incoherent response. But I honestly wish you the best. You deserve only good things! Thank you for sharing your story. You are very brave. Xoxo

[laudatenium]

scattered endgame thoughts

tony - am i happy it happened?  no.  do i think it had to happen? also no.  it was well done i’ll admit, and i know rdj has said that he wanted tony to go out with a bang.  but like i didn’t want tony either dying or retiring.  he’s iron man, he’s an avenger.  tony is supposed to live his life as an avenger.  i cried a lot over tony, and kept on bursting into tears for a few hour after.  the sound of the hammer at the end was so visceral i sobbed.

steve - @RUSSOS MCU STEVE ISN’T WORTHY WHAT THE FUCK yall did him dirty dirty dirty this was why evans cries all the time bc hes not allowed to show any character development.  they made him so selfish and static and i cried angry tears.

thor - like i have perceived thor’s whole - very choppy - character arc to be about both balancing being himself while also learning his responsibility as a leader.  in theory i love the idea of depicting realistic grief/depression/other mental issues, but this?  it wasnt presented as sad and tragic, it was presented as a joke.  and now he’s off to smoke space weed with the guardians.  taika im so sorry all your work to waste

valkyrie - poor bitch still don’t got a name.  great that she’s in charge officially now, but wouldn’t it be great if he had handed off power to her and was like “now my queen what can i do to help” like letting her lead but staying as like general and not inviting himself on a space road-trip

clint - that murderous rampage???  why did he do it???  no one knows especially not the russos.  also he was just slaughtering mexican and japanese people??? 

nat - that affected me more than i thought it would when i read the spoilers.  did i feel like it was in character? ya.  but like with tony, it didn’t have to happen.  the rest of the film felt weirdly empty without her, which is weird bc nat while being a central character has never been an emotional heavyweight for me.  but i felt her absence strongly in the last fight.  she was supposed to be there.  but hey thanks for letting scarjo actually act for once

bruce - uhhh so bruce and hulk just . . . figured out their differences?  two movies of struggling with it and they just figured it out off screen huh and is he working in a diner making pancakes and tacos now??  but yay for bruce the scientist stuff

scott - i like scott the more i see him.  he’s great comic relief while retains some seriousness.  the scene with him searching for cassies name on those blocks was heartbreaking

rhodey - WHERE WAS MY RHODEY CONTENT

nebula - not gonna lie, i wanted more of her with tony, and i wanted to see her soften up a bit more, but nebula was fantastic

rocket - fucking spectacular you funky little trash panda

rest of the guardians - so the plot of GotG Vol 3 is gonna be getting gamora back?? with thor being obnoxious in the background??

pepper - ngl pepper isn’t my favorite, but her portrayal was good (GP rot in hell tho!)  i’m happy pepper finally was able to come to terms with the fact that tony IS iron man and that it’s not some weird addiction

morgan - i love morgan 3000

debrief scene w/ tony - hey now this is what fics are made of

5 years later steve and natasha - kinda like it?  steve coming over to do his laundry is the most “guy still in his 20′s thing” they’ve let him do

cabin scenes - beautiful, but felt so bittersweet.  like tony and pepper where hiding Morgan away from the world to protect her or something, and no one better say that tony was handling their loss any better than the rest he just had more good things than the others (also when tony’s upset he throws himself into his work - so he threw himself into being a dad)

thor in new asgard - noooooooooooo what

them lying on the table while brainstorming - THAT WAS ALL I WANTED WHAT THE FUCK GIMME THAT GOOD SHIT

2012 scene - loved this shit.  you could tell they had fun with that

1970 scene - love the idea, but like. steve mooning over peggy, tony reconnecting with howard, eh.  PERFECT place to have steve apologize about not telling tony but hey lets forgive toxic dads first.

vormir scene - well done, in character, but again: why did it HAVE to happen that way

final battle - marvel fight scenes are crappy to me always. but this one had some good shit, like the “core three” fight, arrival of the dusted people, and of course tony’s end scene

tony’s funeral - the “proof tony stark has a heart” made me almost hysterical

end scene - so fucking jarring.  character loop is right.  calls a ton of shit into question.  makes mcu steve a total garbage human.  samcap was the ONLY redeeming quality.  and I haven’t seen anything about it, but what about bucky in that scene?  like did he know?  have he and old steve been getting coffee together?  or did steve tell him about his plan before going back? he was completely unsurprised like he KNEW that would happen

logical flow is super important and all the time travel shit make me froth at the mouth.  what are the repercussions of what they did no one knooooows

like i really want to know what the actors were thinking.  they can’t say anything bad in public ofc, but @evans how do you REALLY feel

but just remember friends no one stays dead in marvel except uncle ben and bucky 8/

[luciantallis]

You are so fantastic and so are all of your characters!! What are some of your favorite little quirks that you've written for your characters?

this is a beautiful and dangerous question (also thank u so much ily i am not worthy) bc im constantly coming up with shit like this. i swear i wrote out a huge list of like lucian and gwen’s quirks as a writing exercise once but i cannot find it aksdjfasdf yes im slapping a readmore on this and it made me realize myles has the healthiest diet out of all my kids

Lucian

wears rings/watches moreso to play with them than for the #fashion. 

talks with his hands a lot when he’s nerding out over magic. 

smokes only clove cigarettes or only cinnamon flavors.

 speaking of cinnamon like he loves spicy/musky scents and once upon a time @rcwanbcrdeaux described him as “ carrying along a sweet smell of cinnamon, old books and tobacco” and yep ACCURATE. 

does not enjoy being touched casually?? it just makes him really uncomfortable, like if he knows you then chances are he’ll actually be pretty damn touchy and will allow you to be touchy too but like if he doesn’t know you he is going from 0 to annoyed af real fast.

you can tell when he’s either really stressed or super tired bc he just kind of talks, like will just full on ramble until you tell him to shut the fuck up.

Ruby

will have a cheeky smoke every once and a while and unlike luc, she will literally just pick a fun looking box or go the stereotypical malboros. 

will pick up cool looking rocks just because

like all artists she hoards shit bc she might need it for a project eventually. coffee cans?? wrapping paper?? sometimes candy wrappers?? maybe ramsey and her are friends bc she’s actually a raccoon

i love her so much but she definitely is that person who doesn’t take care to wash off all of her eye makeup. like she will wash her face and foundation off but she rocks that lil smudged look to bed and wakes up to do it again #confirmedraccoon

chapstick queen, like she has 700 of them and her favorite is the maybelline baby lips bc she can use it as a cream blush 

loves junk food so much and she tells herself its fine bc she walks everywhere. she’s a slave to her cravings and she craves grease.

plays with her hair when embarrassed or shy

Gwen

she definitely has an oral fixation and often has hard candy or gum handy 

Cocks her head to the side a lot when she’s curious or confused.

Dots her ‘I’’s with hearts.

Always carries hair ties, often has one on her wrist.

Uses pet names in moments of petty aggression, she is 100% that b that will break out ‘honey’ condescendingly

Collects things from victims she’s killed and keeps them in a special jewelry box on a shelf on her nightstand.

Always has matching bra and underwear, not even to feel sexy like she’s more into sporty styles and being comfy, it just makes her feel like she’s got her shit together

Myles

i had to have one character who listens to like lowfi hiphop or whatever and it is him 100%, like it is always playing when he’s at home or while he’s walking. only really started getting into while in the city bc he just feels like it’s a good soundtrack to it.

bc he’s a wallflower he’s a) really attentive and b) thinks about saying a lot of things/thinks up several responses before saying something.

carries carmax in the lil tin on him bc that’s the real mark of somebody living in the midwest lbr 

when he first made the move he really hated how loud everything was but now he can’t sleep without the noise of the city so despite the season, he keeps the window to his bedroom cracked just a bit.

scratching the back of his neck or pursing his lips is like his loading screen tbh, like if he’s doing either thing it means he’s trying to process a thing

[thisis-goodbye]

I’m really sad. All the time. I have moments where I’m good. Where I’m content. And then there are moments when I’m flooded with emotions. I question what is wrong with me. Why do all my friends keep leaving. Am i worth friendship? And a friend helped me realize that it all stems from Celeste and Rusty. I’m still the three year old crying in the living room on the phone asking why she didn’t want me. I’m still the six year old feeling confused because her and Seth were living with us and her trying to parent and correct me. I’m still the 10 year old laying head to head on the couch while she cries, drunkenly, blaming me for her not wanting me. Somehow a four month old “hates” there mom and I only wanted rusty. I’m still the 13 year old, calling her in tears because I wanted to come back to Louisiana, asking her if I can come with her and her telling me no. I’m the 14 year old she told was going to come stay with her for disrespecting “HER” momma and if something happens to “HER” mama then she’s my only option. I’m still the 17 year old bawling my eyes out bc she just left with out telling me bye. I’m still the 18 year old that needed her to keep my phone on and she lied to me and cut it off. I’m still the 20 year old that needed her support when I got married. I’m still the 25 year old that needed her to be there for me as my biological father passed away. I’m still the 30 year old that needed her to be there for me when my cousin died. Im still the 31 year old that needed her to be there for me when my mom almost died. But she’s never there for me. And she wants me to bring my child to her. Not if she will be smoking weed and drunk. Not if she can’t be normal for a few minutes. I wont subject my son to her. Not if I don’t have to. I love her and hate her. A feeling i feel like has grown into me like a tumor. It hurts. Im used to it. It’s always been there. I feel like I’m still grasping at straws. I hurt. All the time. And I just want people to see me and value me and love me. But nobody shows up. Nobody cares. Im the one who isn’t worthy of love. Im not worthy of friends. Im not worthy of anything.

[yellowtoothbrush]

KAIDINA WEDDING EDITION 🤧🙌

obviously none of the following is happening bc rotg is a doomed plot but we can daydream right? plus we love aNGST 

LOVE AGNST LOVE AGNST LOVE ANGST 

we really don’t 

i spent all night thinking about how i was going to answer this, i won’t lie to you. ahhhhh feels. if kaidina somehow got married ideally it would be bIG AND EXPENSIVE. with cristina’s upbringing and kaid’s somewhat complimentary uptight pretentious character, their wedding would have the best people, the best music (piANOOOOOOOO), the best caterers, best food, you get the point. cristina and kaid would also want their wedding to be memorable the way you remember the wedding of icons. since she loves music that would definitely play a major role in the theme and itenary. ig that means they’re at a reception huh. maybe they do a song together idk. i don’t think he can sing but he can learn pianooo and in this imaginery hullicination i like to daydream about, cristina sings while he plays even tho she is the pianist OR they can just play together idc. is this tacky? anyways. reception. big. beautiful decorations. tech worthy. that’s kaid’s input. lMAO. probably has all these cool gadgets for weddings that havn’t been invented yet. i went to a wedding a few weeks ago and it was SO intense. they started with this guy on a trumpet solo playing 'the business’ x as the entrance song for the bride and groom before they walked in and it really hyped up the crowd and that is something that would happen for kaidina. also smoke. confetti. bullets. i joke.  funny how even if he did live none of this would even happen LMAO bc we got a band of outlaws. ahhhhuhuhuhuhuuh.  realistically, if they had a wedding, it would be a small thing just between the olympians. they would end up wearing the dress and suit they stole LMAO thats what they get married in :’) it would be funny if it’s so rushed and like on the run. YO LIKE YK CARRIBEAN THAT SORT OF VIBE WHERE THEY ARE LIKE WILL YOU MARRY ME - YES!!!! - HEY ADAM DO THE WEDDING VOWS. adam is like ???? um rn? not like we trying to run from aise or anything alright rn but true i can do it now bc kaid’s dying tmr amirite (unless) context (am i too much of a farfetched daydreamer maYBE SO)

ok next.  wedddding cake. would be big and probably have one of these x decorations i saw on tumblr the other day whatcha thinking? it would be the take ‘ya garbage out’ one just bc.  it has to have many layers and they have to cut it together <3 and laugh and kaid swipes a bit of cream on his finger and pokes cristina’s nose and she is like D: grabs the whole cake and smashes it on him true luv realistically, they get no cake or brook last minute whips up one that no one wants to eat or maybe they do. it’s his belated bday cake tooo so next to the congratulations it says happy bday 

with both of them big in denial of their luv (classical enemies to lovers trope teehhee) idk who would make the first move. imma say kaid just bc he will be big simp and he knows he is dying so is like thinking he has to make the most of their time together. he probably keeps the ring with him for a long while before proposing. idk like he would buy it being like YES LETS ASK AND MAKE THIS OFFICIAL BEFORE I DIE FOREVA and then he would feels bad bc now he has a repsonsibility to be there with her and if he doesn’t have long it’s too selfish to expect her to say yes and is this character growth maybe so but if this happened then dumbos can :’) be great friends and im emo rn bc this wouldn’t even happen. maybe he’d buy the ring but never got to propose cos aise BUT HE WAS PLANNING TO FOR A LONG TIME AND ADAM AND JOON KNEW and cristina finds out like D:::::::::::: i coulda been married.  anyways if he did go ahead with it and actually propose it would probably be really blunt and awkward at first. think talon being like “she’s pregnant” like no beating around the bush. like typical mid convo just going down on one knee and saying “will you marry me” :) yo they could have been arguing about something petty and his vibe just changes and he seems distracted and then spins around and proposes and she is confused bc were they not just fighting? then they can do this bc for some reason he has it on him and it makes sense x. 

when the alter happens, ideally kaid would be waiting at the end as cristina walks down with her dad and he is just uwu for her and breathless and lose all Brian Cells TM realistically, (sadge i have to answer all this 2ce :pensive: ) one of the olympains would walk down cristina. i feel like it’s cute if all the girls do bc everyone so excited OR if you don’t like that, bc cristina’s best friend was thea it could be symbolic if tristan walked her down. but that means in rp they’d have to get more close. 

cristina strikes me as expensive but simple. like yk for decorations and colour scheme and flowers? it would all be expensive and great quality but it would be elegent and no overly flamboyant cos that can get too tacky. i see them sticking to just white, and maybe one other colour like flushed pink or blue. basically pale, elegent and simple colours. bouquet is the same. white and elegant.

VOWS TIME WOOOOOOHOOHOOHHO  kaid would talk about how even though he is meant to be the smartest man, he was such a fool for wasting time and not cherishing every trial and experience they shared together. he wouldn’t get too wordy or descriptive bc pride, but his eyes would say it all too. there were many things he regrretted (say killing thea) but cristina was not one of them and we would promise to be there for her even though she deserves more than what he could offer.  cristina would probably slap him playfully for being an idiot :’) joon and kaid can hoot and then kaidina kith and they hoot louder 🤷‍♂️

aise is just a little teeny bit late to the wedding brook gets lost and zoe has to ride her motorbike to pick him up so they are also late.

idk how wedding works but all olympians are in the bride/groom parties. specifically adam and joon are best man (i know there is supposed to be one but there are 2 now bc they dumbos and need to bounce off eachother) and cristina’s side is the gorls uwuwuwu

bride and groom side all have to understand the memo and match colours and theme and yes adam and joon wearing same suit thank you thats what i want. 

joon will probably do a speech LMAO on behalf of both parties. feel like he would make a lot of teasing jokes at kaid and embarrass him and talk about how considerably long it took for him to propose for being such a ‘smart’ man and how he knows kaid read books on marriage and how to be a husband and in a relationship and THEN adam jumps on the stage shoos joon off and makes a speech that gets everyone to cry bc lets face it: adam knows everything about everyone so he can make them cry. 

zoe catches the bouquet. no question about it. 

wedding photos are boooootiful and elegent and professionally done. definitely touchy forehead photos. they even get a wedding video. 

kaid and cristina crying LMAO it’s hard to tell who breaks first. i think with kaid, once it processes that he is actually married LIKE HE IS MARRIED he’d start getting teary and red eyed bc he knows he is sick and he is scared that they won’t have long together but he is grateful that they have this at least and he would worry about cristina and how she would be when he is gone and just that lost future, and if they had kids, he’d get sad over the kids he wouldn’t get to experience life with and yeah. 

dumbos get drunk together FOR SURE  i can actually see them going crazy on dance floor together holding their drinks. at one stage adam and joon lift up kaid on their shoulders and just jump up and down with him and they all happy. it would be so dope if dae was the best dancer. like imagine that, imagine him with his walking stick just bopping like the new michael jackson. flo would also get drunk and would definitely drag cristina drew and mia to the dancefloor. all olympians loosening eachother up uwuwu. brook and zoe are dancing together and in sync to the beat zoe’s face is shapeshifting. tristan is eating food.  for kaidina’s dance it’s the typical slow dancing with the soft music and the eye gazing and the spinning and the fog and the candles and the flames. and kaid holds her up fs fs on the chorus. this is the song x teehhee it’s so cliche ik, but i am a certified simp alternatively i love this song also x i think second one matches their dynamic more

their rings are cute. i don’t know what else to say. i feel like he could engrave latin in hers or something HAHAHA bc show off his latin skills idk. it would say te amo. i mean he would show off more latin :/ but he on limited space here UNLESS he gets tristan to make the ring :) and bam it’s a hidden astronomical ring (yk the ones on etsy that pop out into a ball) LMAO and he can write her hidden messages in it omg and she doesnt find it till like after he dies and the ring falls on the floor and it pops open and she like uwuw

favours is easy. kaid gets joon to hand out little self help books. most of them are actually dictionaries, but some are called “Denial: Self-Deception, False Beliefs, and the Origins of the Human Mind”, specifically.  i joke again. cristina reminds me of like having that beauty and the beast rorse theme. because it’s just an elegant look. so these things are cute x. kaid will probably sneak did you know facts at the back of the card, unique per invite. 

their honeymoon is at a beach house just because i think they’ve had enough of caves and forests and polluted air. like imagine a private beach and like the fresh sun overhead and pushing each other into the water :)

the memorable thing that happens at the ceremony is that kaiden gets so flustered he doesn’t even realise he said something gramatically wrong. cristina can correct him and never let him live it down. who knows he probably said dumbos should go on a six way date 😋

i feel like if anyone were to officiate the ceremony it would be adam just bc in my head he has that authoritive figure that can get everyone under wraps but also bc he is the therapiss, remember. 

i already answered the song one, but while i am here lemme just x (js thats probably a cute scoma song too)

idc if kaid’s family is somehow at the wedding. i can’t believe i never even considered them till now lol, but even if they are there i want my fav bois sending kaid away and giving him gentle encouraging shoves to the love of his life. 

aight i'll do aise and joon if you do kaiden and cristina

doomed couple weddings 😜✌️

No.

[lesbianlanding]

Detailed character sheet

I did this chart before I started writing Parent Trope to try to get Hecate straight (HA) in my head- I’m currently writing a Julie/Hecate fic, but you’ll see Pippa in the chart bc I think they have amazing chemistry as well!

Character Chart Character’s full name: Hecate Hepzibah Hardbroom (it would be a shame to waste the alliteration) Reason or meaning of name: Hecate: in Greek mythology Hecate was a goddess associated with witchcraft, crossroads, tombs, demons and the underworld Hepzibah: my delight is in her; queen, mother Character’s nickname: Cattie Reason for nickname: Heck sounds like a swear, I like nicknames to be derivative, her other nickname is Hiccup but that’s definitely an inside joke reserved for super close friends. She doesn’t have many. Birth date: March 28, Aries Physical Appearance: “tall, severe” all black everything, dress to impress and repress, setting an example through stiffness and height of collar Age: 35 How old does he/she appear: don’t you dare answer this Weight: 140 Height: 6'1" Body build: slim, whiplike Shape of face: long, narrow, roman nose Eye color: dark- black? Brown? Glasses or contacts: no Skin tone: pale, doesn’t flush easily Distinguishing marks: maybe tattoos, self applied, all with meaning, all magical Predominant features: cheekbones, nose Hair color: black Type of hair: very long, always perfectly coiffed Hairstyle: buns, braided buns, parted down the center and brushed until shining for bed; formal events might call for more intricate buns and braids Voice: soft, forceful Overall attractiveness: yes Physical disabilities: She prefers not to walk far distances. Could have stiffness in joints she hides with motion of skirt, transporting place to place. Sits very carefully on a broom. Usual fashion of dress: very reserved, all covered, dramatic collars, belts and cinching garments. Probably owns a million corsets and a trillion heeled boots Favorite outfit: lbd (long black dress) Jewelry or accessories: locket, small earrings with dark gemstones- sapphire? Personality: stern but fair, deep sense of traditions and sacrifice Good personality traits: honest, loyal, trusting, believes in goodness, strong sense of duty and tradition, invested in the future of her students Bad personality traits: quick to anger slow to forgiveness, not always brave (has been abused), not very confident in herself as valuable and worthy of love Mood character is most often in: suspicion? Outside of school year probably content, thinking deeply Sense of humor: wicked- willing to let her guard down in special occasions, likes to be around people who are laughing as long as they are not laughing at her Character’s greatest joy in life: flying on her broomstick, succeeding Character’s greatest fear: that she will fail her community, see the collapse of her way of life Why? She has devoted so much time to developing herself into the “perfect witch” and trying to mold her students in that same image but because she is very sensitive to criticism and cannot take a compliment she is more aware of her failings and is unable to get past them What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil? Not the loss of a friend unless they were beyond her reach- the death of a student. The return to being in a position where her father or former teacher had power over her again Character is most at ease when: on holiday, asleep, after bed checks Most ill at ease when: students or friends missing Enraged when: students or friends in danger or students not performing to her standards Depressed or sad when: major holidays, her birthday roll around. Priorities: 1. Work as a teacher, 2. Deputy headmistress duties 3. Friend duties (small talk in the lounge) Life philosophy: live life head first (wand second, heart last) If granted one wish, it would be: I think she would wish that she could ensure her students would reach their full potential without her having to be such a hard ass so she could relax a little Why? I know that most teachers aren’t so invested in their students that they wouldn’t wish for a pile of money or a big house or a new life but I think Hecate doesn’t really have much else that we can see- no partner, no kids, few friends Character’s soft spot: cats, small clumsy girls with braids who surprise her Is this soft spot obvious to others? Yes. To adults. Greatest strength: her magic because it gives her pride and purpose, she depends on it in tough situations. She would be amazing without it as well but it strengthens her Greatest vulnerability or weakness: has a hard time admitting she was wrong Biggest regret: Letting Pippa go Minor regret: trying so hard to expel Mildred right at the start Biggest accomplishment: getting out from under her father and teacher Minor accomplishment: making up with Pippa Past failures he/she would be embarrassed to have people know about: failed her first flying test and her second Why? She NEEDS to be perfect Character’s darkest secret: She was abused, she is a lesbian Does anyone else know? Not about the abuse, but Ada knows. Hecate disclosed it when she was offered a job. She said Ada needed to know before she hired her so she would be ready if parents took offense or found out. She was also hoping that maybe she could make up with Pippa one day. Or that maybe she could find love. Goals: get through this school year, go to her cottage and garden until she has to return. Not see any children during the summer. The garden is for bees Drives and motivations: repressed romantic and squishy feelings get funneled into a drive to wring the best out of everyone and hold herself to a high standard. Appearance is really important as is standing in witch society. Witnessed deference to the great wizard, to Ethel’s mum Immediate goals: clean, garden, relax, plan for year two, have tea with Pippa. Keep Ada from eating only cookies Long term goals: become headmistress, role model, successful disciplinarian How the character plans to accomplish these goals: deputy headmistress position, Ada has no heir, political friendships would come in handy How other characters will be affected: Ada would have to die or retire. Would need a new deputy. Past: bad, doesn’t talk about it. Has one brother, much older. He is in government. Something boring but important like taxes. Mother is alive but out of reach. Father is iron fisted, in his prime despite old age. Hometown: London. Type of childhood: restricted. Austere. No interaction with non magical families. Very small group of friends, not real friends, just social group friends. Upper middle class. Private nurse and tutor as a young child she adored, went to a school other than Cackles in Germany, attended teachers training under Broomhead? Many instances of rebellion, many instances of being smacked down. Has a strong sense of right and wrong, fair and not but has learned to support fair and right quietly without outright rebellion Pets: a cat, sapphire First memory: watching a party from the stairs before being sent back to her nursery Most important childhood memory: her father burning a non magical novel she was reading Why: he was trying to teach her a lesson about magic being the best but instead he taught her to hide everything she treasures Childhood hero: queen Elizabeth Dream job: potioneer Education: masters? Phd? Religion: none, laws of magic Finances: family was wealthy Present Current location: summer cottage Currently living with: her cat Pets: cat Religion: Occupation: teaching potions brewing in the summer Finances: well off but not wealthy. Inherited a cottage from an aunt who was eccentric and outcast Family Mother: Relationship with her: Father: Relationship with him: Siblings: Relationship with them: Spouse: Relationship with him/her: Children: Relationship with them: Other important family members: aunt, dead Favorites Color: black Least favorite color: white (it washes her out) Music: quiet instrumental. The lute Food: not a hearty water or an adventurous cook. Has a few favorites others would consider plain Literature: voracious reader. Secret pleasure: mysteries. Staples: potion and education journals Form of entertainment: plays! Expressions: Mode of transportation: broom, transferring Most prized possession: ceremonial wand used by her grandmother’s coven to discover Atlantis and raise it Habits: transferring everywhere, touching her locket when she is thinking, flicking her hair around dramatically when it is loose Hobbies: gardening, flying, beekeeping Plays a musical instrument? Yes, the piano Plays a sport? Yes, broom polo How he/she would spend a rainy day: reading with a cup of tea Spending habits: lbds, books, potion ingredients but thrifty otherwise Smokes: never Drinks: socially Other drugs: What does he/she do too much of? Spend time alone What does he/she do too little of? Socialize Extremely skilled at: spells, potions Extremely unskilled at: spontaneous social interactions Nervous tics: fingers clenching or starting a spell Usual body posture: straight backed, strong chin and neck Mannerisms: each movement is considered and graceful Peculiarities: has a leather bathrobe???? Traits Optimist or pessimist? Pessimistic Introvert or extrovert? Introvert Daredevil or cautious? Daredevil Logical or emotional? Logical Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? Methodical and neat Prefers working or relaxing? Working Confident or unsure of himself/herself? Confident but poor self esteem Animal lover? Yes Self-Perception How he/she feels about himself/herself: feels satisfied with herself and proud of how she turned out One word the character would use to describe self: disciplinarian One paragraph description of how the character would describe self: I, Hecate Hepzibah Hardbroom am a competent, respectable educator and a gifted potioneer. I am a leader, I manage my time and the time of my charges judiciously. I am devoted to upholding the standard of witchcraft as I learned them. I believe modernization is a dumbing down of a difficult process. I do not believe that everyone with magical powers deserves the title of witch, but deeply respect those it has been conferred upon. What does the character consider his/her best personality trait? Self control What does the character consider his/her worst personality trait? Softness   What does the character consider his/her best physical characteristic? Her figure and her hair What does the character consider his/her worst physical characteristic? Her  nose How does the character think others perceive him/her: wants them to respect her, see her as an authority figure What would the character most like to change about himself/herself: residual scars from abuse, physical and emotional Relationships With Others Opinion of other people in general: depends but usually “worse” than her until they prove themselves to have some redeeming quality(like with Ada, too soft but also, loving and fair) Does the character hide his/her true opinions and emotions from others? No; is sarcastic Person character most hates: Her father, her tutor Best friend(s): Pippa Love interest(s): Pippa, Ms. Drill, Julie Hubble Person character goes to for advice: Ada Cackle Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: Mildred Hubble Person character feels shy or awkward around: Pippa Person character openly admires: Great wizard, that disciplinarian Person character secretly admires: Maud Spellbody- lots of potential, but selfless, invested in friends Most important person in character’s life before story starts: Ada After story starts: It’s a tie bt Ada, Pippa, and Mildred

@cassandra-pentughasst (hope I tagged the right person!)