#bc now Aili is NEVER going to pick up on your flirting now

[lillotte17]

Bargains and Promises

OKAY, THIS TIME FOR REAL. More not-quite-Solavellan in the Tenacity AU! Here is a link to the first part, since it has been a while!!

~

The district manager who oversees Lady Mythal’s library at her lakeside palace turns down Tenacity’s petition for embodiment. Not in such a way that it would be barred from seeking it elsewhere, but just in this particular region for the foreseeable future. They are not currently trying to bolster the number of followers here, and Tenacity is only a small spirit, without much power or influence. There is nothing to gain by giving it a body, and nothing to lose by refusing it.

However, Tenacity was expecting this to some extent, and it is more than ready to dig its metaphorical heels in until the manager decides to see reason.

The man is a worthy adversary to test its will against. His name is Haninassan, and he has a face that looks like it might have been chiseled out of a particularly craggy mountainside. There are rumors that he used to be a general at one point, hundreds of years ago, but whether he retired from that life in favor of a job that involved less blood and death or was demoted for some grave misstep, no one seems willing to admit. Tenacity is tempted to ask him itself, but it does not suppose that would help its petition any. 

He is a very good manager. People tend to listen to him without his having to shout or repeat himself. He carries an aura of one who should not be trifled with. He is tenacious in his own way, which the spirit can certainly appreciate, but it still wants a body, and it is not about to give up on its goals.

Even if it means making a nuisance of itself. 

It decides that once a week is probably frequent enough to visit his office and remind him about its petition. Haninassan takes it with a good grace, for the most part. He simply continues with his paperwork while Tenacity lists the various reasons why it should be allowed to have a body, and when it seems like the little spirit has run out of things to say, he casually turns it down and ushers it back out the door.

Tenacity is only about three weeks into its campaign when it comes into Haninassan’s office one morning to find him looking unusually harried and shuffling several piles of papers around his desk.

“Not now, firefly,” he says dismissively, waving it off, “Find someone else to pester today. I have to prepare rooms for Lady Andruil and her hunters. I do not have time to spare for you.”

“Hunters?” Tenacity buzzes curiously. It knows of wild hunters; wolves and bears and other large lurking beasts who roamed the forest. Somehow it does not think that Lady Mythal would permit such creatures to roam freely in her palace, even if they are travelling with her daughter.

"Lady Andruil's most fierce and favored followers," Haninassan explains, sounding distracted, "They tend to be a loud and unruly lot, and I would much prefer to house them in one of the more remote areas of the palace to avoid as many fights and bits of broken finery as possible. Unfortunately, many of the rooms in those areas are not fine enough for followers of their station. I would not dare to insult my lady's noble daughter by giving her people unsatisfactory lodging. Compromises must be made. Furniture moved. And if Thenvunin comes in here one more time to complain about which rooms I choose, I just might give them his chambers to stay in and let him sleep out into the garden with his birds."

"They sound fascinating!" Tenacity proclaims with an enthusiastic little twirl.

"I would stay out of their way if I were you," Haninassan warns, "Some of them see spirits as fair game for a hunt. I know that Pride has taken a shine to you, but I would not rely solely on his protection in this case."

"I am sure they can be reasoned with," Tenacity replies blithely, already floating back towards the door.

"Suit yourself," Haninassan shrugs, turning back to his paperwork with a sigh.

As promised, the Lady Andruil arrives with her entourage the next day. They are nearly all wearing at least some armor, as though expecting a battle at any moment, and there is an air of confidence and danger to them. And a hungry sort of greed, too. Like a pack of wolves after an especially lean winter.

Tenacity thinks that they are very exciting.

Pride disagrees.

"Andruil's followers have savage reputations," he informs Tenacity with his hands on his hips, blocking the path to the main dining hall, "And I have seen firsthand that their reputations are well-earned. Half of them stab each other simply as a form of greeting."

"Really?!" Tenacity asks, sounding more eager than ever.

Pride sighs deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"That was not meant as an enticement," he grates out. "I know that you must be all but bursting with curiosity, my friend, but it would be wiser for you to maintain a low profile until they are gone. You can even stay in my chambers, if you like. And I would gladly share my memories of all the festivities once they have left."

"You're the one who wants to be wise, Pride," Tenacity laughs. "If I only see them from your memories, my impression will be colored by your perceptions. And I won't be able to ask them any questions of my own. I came into being in a forest, remember? I have met my fair share of beasts."

"Yes, but a real beast would not attempt to break you out of boredom," Pride points out frowningly.

"Surely, they are not all like that," the little spirit insists.

"Perhaps," Pride allows, "But is it worth dying to find out?"

"You always worry too much," it tells him, its light flickering fondly, "But I will be…cautious. When choosing to approach any of them. If it will make you feel better."

"I suppose that is the best offer I am likely to receive," he replies with a huff of exasperation.

"It is!" Tenacity agrees happily, whirling past him into the dining hall and flitting around for an appropriate roost to sit and observe their guests.

For all the alarming reports it had received about them, Andruil's favored do not strike Tenacity as especially vicious. They are boisterous and loud, and their humor is quite a bit crasser than what one might usually hear in the halls of Mythal's palace, but they are not nearly as unruly as it had been led to believe. Perhaps they are on their best behavior, though.

It supposes that they must ruffle the feathers of some of Mythal's more stuffy and serious followers, Thenvunin seems to be practically beside himself, but to Tenacity's eyes the hunters and their desires all seem…simple. Straightforward. Reach higher. Be stronger. Eat or be eaten. Survive. Endure.  

In some ways, their blunt heckling and cajoling and mild threats almost seem refreshing. Tenacity does find all the posturing and obfuscating and scheming that some of the higher ranking members of Mythal's holdings take part in to be rather tiring at times. And a bit pointless. It prefers a fair fight, if there is to be one. To know your enemy is your enemy, and not worry that your friend might place a danger in your ribs the moment your back is turned.

They might all be out to get each other, but at least they know that they are all out to get each other.

Still, it supposes that it would be stressful to be forced to live in close proximity to dozens of other people who might stab you at any given moment. Tenacity has never been stabbed, of course, but it has been led to believe that it is very unpleasant. It wonders if it is rude to ask someone how many times they have been stabbed. It seems like it must be, although it cannot quite pinpoint the reason why.

Tenacity frowns as one of the rowdier hunters grabs hold of a passing server, Saerill, and drags him down onto their lap. He does not seem especially thrilled by this development, but it is clear that he is not about to risk upsetting their guests and offending his mistresses' daughter. It turns the spirit's mind in a new direction; to how much worse it must be for the lower ranking hunters, who are still keenly aware that the others might mean them harm, and have little means to protect themselves from it. At the very worst, Mythal's servant only needs to wait for Andruil to leave and take her followers with her, but a servant in her own household would have no such reprieve.

Tenacity thinks it is beginning to understand why Pride does not like them very much.    

Just when it thinks it might be time to find Pride or Tarensa, or someone else of suitable rank and moral standing to intervene on Saerill's behalf, another hunter gets up and walks down towards the imperiled servant and his accoster. They are small, although they are still many times bigger than Tenacity, and their armor is very sharp and very red, and they seem to be very annoyed about something. The little spirit pauses, wondering what might happen. It does not seem likely that this hunter would rescue a servant from their fellows, but there is something strange about them. Something different and frightening…and a little familiar, too. Some small bright flicker to them.

Tenacious.

How curious.

The red hunter does not bother with their brethren and their prey, as the spirit thought they might. Instead, they reach for a tray of some kind of meat on the table just in front of the person sitting next to the pair in question, complaining loudly that Mythal's servants seem to be too busy to actually take care of the duties of tending to their hungry guests. Their movements are swift and, as they are covered in quite a few rather large spikes, the elf they reach past jerks away from them abruptly, hissing out a curse and sloshing a great deal of drink onto the hunter beside her as well as the servant they had been pestering.

The reaction is instantaneous. The amorous hunter all but drops Mythal's servant onto the floor as they practically launch themselves at the person next to them. Before long, three other people have been drawn into the fray, and half of the dishes on the table are in ruins before Tarensa, Thenvunin, and a few midranking guards manage to break it up.

The servant who was getting harassed wisely decides to sneak away to some distant corner of the dining hall amidst the chaos. And the red hunter slips quietly back up to their seat near Andruil with their tray still in hand. Their expression is impassive, but Tenacity thinks it catches their gaze lingering a little on the servant as he slips away.

Curious, indeed.

Tenacity decides that it would be prudent to approach the red hunter when they are not surrounded by their fellows.

At first it tries to find them in the Dreaming after the evening meal is finished, but there is no sign of their sleeping mind, even though it is very late. When its initial plan falls flat, the little spirit has to make do with trying to find which one of the rooms in Mythal's palace have been granted to their unusual visitor instead. As it happens, the red hunter has a reputation among the other spirits, and it is not the one that it had been expecting. They all seem to want to give the red hunter a fairly wide birth, but they are at least able to inform Tenacity that the person it seeks is one of Andruil's most favored and highest ranking followers, and has therefore been granted one of the nicest set of guestrooms.

The hunter is lounging in a small sitting room attached to their suite, a vast array of throwing darts and cutlery spread before them on a low table. They seem to be taking inventory and doing general maintenance on their gear. Polishing and sharpening things as needed and whistling snatches of a song Tenacity does not know every now and again.

"I was fairly certain that I locked and warded that door," they note mildly as Tenacity bobs towards them. Their expression looks very carefully neutral, but the spirit thinks that they are not happy about having a late night guest in their room.

"You did," it assures them, "So, I came in through the Dreaming instead."

"That does not explain how you got past my wards," they frown.

"I am very small?" it suggests with a shiver to its form that might be the equivalent of a shrug.

"You could have simply knocked," they point out.

"But you might not have let me in," Tenacity blinks, "And I wanted to speak with you."

"Stubborn nosy little thing, aren't you?" the hunter snorts. "You do not look like the other spirits of curiosity I have seen."

"I am Tenacity!" it exclaims with a twirl and a few small dramatic bursts of light, "Pride told me that I should be cautious when approaching Andruil's followers because they do not all treat spirits kindly, so I thought that it might be better if we spoke alone."

"And what makes you think that I am not like the hunters Mythal's pet wolf warned you about?" they wonder with a smirk. They have unnervingly sharp teeth. "Here you are, alone with me in relative seclusion. I could do all sorts of terrible things to you, and no one would be able to stop me."

"I…suppose you could," Tenacity admits, flickering with a touch of uncertainty, "But…"

"But?" the hunter asks.

"What you did for Saerill in the dining hall was very kind," it tells them quietly, "I do not think you would hurt me just for wanting to speak with you."

"I have no idea what you are talking about," they insist flatly.

"Was it an accident, then?" Tenacity wonders, "You do not strike me as the sort of person who does anything unintentionally, least of all kindness."

"And what sort of person do I strike you as?" they ask in turn.

It fixes them with an intense stare, not just looking, but seeing. After a moment, it's faces twists, and it shakes itself, the light of its being flickering slightly. Despite that, it floats a little closer to them, more intrigued than wary.  

"You are very strange," it decides.

The hunter raises an eyebrow.

"It is not a bad thing!" Tenacity assures them, "I am just not sure how to say it better. Pride is always telling me that I need to be less blunt with my phrasing. Apparently, honesty is distressing for many people. I do not understand it very well."

"Truth is often a dagger that cuts both ways," the hunter snorts, clearly amused, but apparently not willing to offer more insight than that.

"Yes, your strangeness is like that," the spirit agrees, which earns it another curious glance, "You want very badly to be something, and so you hide and posture and talk in circles. But the thing that you want is already yours, and it always has been. So, you see, it does not make any sense."

The hunter does not look amused anymore.

"I am one of Lady Andruil's most favored hunters, and she is a most generous benefactor," they say, their face curling into a very unfriendly sort of smile, "What do else do you suppose I could ever possibly hope for?"

"I do not know," Tenacity admits, seemingly unaware of their discomfort, "I am a very small spirit, and you are very good at hiding things, I think. You have buried the thing you are reaching for very deep. Down under the shadows where the little spark is gleaming like a star in the night. Where you once a spirit? Perhaps we were born of something similar. There is something familiar and resonating in the shine of you."

They do not seem to know what to make of that.

"I…do not remember much of my time in the Dreaming," they say with a slight inclination of their head, "I prefer not to speak of it."

"Pride was not happy when he was a spirit, either," Tenacity tells them, "But he was even less happy to take a body. I still want one, but I would be sad to lose memories of my time in the dreams of the forest. Is it normal to forget?"

"I am led to believe it is common to lose memories of various sensations," they sigh, "You will not move so easily through dreams. You will struggle to recall what it felt like to not have a body. It is more challenging for some than others."

"Was it challenging for you?" it wonders.

"…No," they say, but their voice is almost soft, and their emotions are held tight within them.

Tenacity blinks.

"It is alright to admit that something was difficult for you," the spirit says, "To overcome adversity is all that I embody. It is a good feeling. A strong feeling, even if it is small. It does not matter that you struggled. That you cried or bled. It only matters that you kept trying. That you reached the place you were seeking. You must be very tenacious, I think. It is admirable."

"You presume much," the hunter tells it, but they do not seem offended. In fact, they seem almost oddly charmed. "But I suppose you cannot help it."

"I was trying to be nice!" Tenacity objects.

"You are also a bit conceited," the hunter hums, "Probably from spending too much time with a former pride spirit."

"Hey!" it interjects, "That's no way to speak to someone who was only trying to help!"

"I thought you enjoyed honesty," they smirk.

The spirit pauses, makes a face of slight consternation, but then laughs a moment later.

"I suppose I did ask for that," it agrees.

"Speaking of asking for things," the red hunter says, leaning back on the couch and twirling on of their many knives through their fingers, "I would prefer it if you did not mention the specifics of this conversation with others. It could make things…complicated."

"I can keep a secret!" the little spirit promises with a twirl.

"Like you kept the wolf's feelings about being a spirit secret?" they wonder archly.  

"Pride has never asked me not to tell people that," Tenacity frowns, "Is it a bad thing to tell? Many people struggle when they first take a body. It is one of the reasons he is worried about my wanting one."

"It is not bad, per se, but it exposes a potential weakness," they explain, "And a means of embarrassing him. As a former spirit of pride, I imagine he is not very adept at handling such humiliations."

"You…would not hurt him with it, would you?" it asks hesitantly, its light dimming to a dying ember.

The hunter closes their eyes and sighs, looking severely put-upon.

"I suggest a bargain," they reply after a moment, "So long as you keep my secret, I will not take advantage of his."

Tenacity blinks at them again, surprised for a moment, but then glittering with amusement.

"I knew you were kind," it accuses them with a giggle.

"I can be generous when it suits, but that does not make me kind," the hunter insists with a hiss, "There is simply nothing to gain at present by making thing miserable for Mythal's pet."

"If you say so," Tenacity smiles. "If we are exchanging favors, may I also ask for your name?"

The red hunter raises a brow at it.

"Uthvir."

"The Unending Path," the spirit beams, "How marvelous! I knew it when I saw you in the dining hall!"

"Knew what?" Uthvir wonders doubtfully.

"I knew that you were like me!" it exclaims happily, "Tenacious!"

 ~

“Are you beautiful, Pride?” Tenacity asks one day while they are having a picnic out by the lake. 

Well, to be more precise, Pride is eating on a blanket by the water while Tenacity zips around encouraging the flowers to bloom despite the lack of rain the past few weeks.

The elf in question nearly chokes on the sticky sweet roll he had been enjoying.

“I- uh. I believe that might be a matter of opinion,” he sputters a moment later. “Why do you ask?”

“Many people say that Uthvir is beautiful. Scary, too, of course. But still pleasing to look at,” It begins, floating a bit closer to him, “They do not refute the fact that they are beautiful. They are aware of their reputation and use it to their advantage. People also say that flowers and jewels at beautiful as well, but I do not think that Uthvir looks like either of those things. You do not look like them either, and you also do not look like Uthvir, so I was curious whether or not if you were considered beautiful.”

Pride makes a face as though he is not quite sure if he has been insulted or not.

“It still baffles me that you made friends with Uthvir, of all people,” he sighs out at last.

“We are very much alike, so it was not hard to be their friend,” it smiles at him.

“I have a hard time believing that,” he huffs.

“I know,” it says, glowing fondly, “That is because you are Pride. But I like you for it anyway.”

His cheeks pink a bit at that.

“Why the sudden concern with my reputation in regards to my appearance?” he wonders.

“Oh, I was simply trying to understand the concept of beauty a bit better, that is all,” it tells him, “I do not think the idea of it is very congruous to my nature. I suppose that any body I might take would most likely not be very beautiful to look at. I am not certain that would be a bad thing, though.”

“All things are relative, my friend,” he says with a faint smile.

“What does that mean?” it asks in turn.

“Simply that those who enjoy your company will find you pleasing to look at because they think of you as endearing, regardless of physical attraction,” he explains.

“So…emotional connection is a determining factor in beauty?” Tenacity blinks, “Similar to the way you said that touching can be different depending on how you feel about someone?”

“Well…emotional attachment is not necessary for one person to think of another as beautiful, but it is generally a factor, yes,” he replies. “And just because you find someone beautiful does not always mean you would find them attractive in a romantic sense.”

“This is all very confusing,” the little spirit sighs. “Perhaps it would be easiest not to engage in such messy feelings at all.”

“Undoubtedly,” Pride laughs, “Although you might not have much say in the matter, if you do take a body.”

“Do bodies cause people to look more attractive to one another?” Tenacity gapes. “Does everyone who takes a body suddenly have an interest in such things, even if they do not wish to?”

“Not everyone with a body is interested in romance, physical or otherwise,” Pride shakes his head, “But many Dreaming Born find themselves developing feelings and attractions that would not have been part of their nature as a spirit.”

“But you have not found yourself attracted to anyone since you took a body, Pride,” it points out, “If you have never been in love with someone, how can you know when it happens? How can you tell when you find someone beautiful? How do you know what you like?”

“Well, one would assume that it is the sort of thing that would be recognizable when it happens, if it does happen,” he coughs, a little awkward again, “And I…have met elves I thought were beautiful, but I was not in love with them. I am generally more interested in the beauty of someone’s spirit than their physical form.”

“If you will not know you love someone until it happens, does that mean it could be anyone?” Tenacity wonders. Its eyes grow wide. “Oh! What if you fell in love with me?”

“What?” Pride laughs.

“It would make everything so much easier!” it exclaims, “We could figure out being in love together!”

“I…do not think that is how that works,” Pride tries to explain, still seeming amused, but trying to be gentle, “People do not simply decide to be in love with each other, as a general rule. You might not even find me attractive if you take a body.”

“But I would still be pleased to see you,” Tenacity argues, “I would be fond of your shape because I am fond of you, just as I am now. If feelings are connected to a sense of attraction, then it would follow that I would most likely find you beautiful, because I enjoy your company. Kissing and courting and all of those things does not seem like it would be much of a stretch from those feelings. Or would it?”

Pride does not seem to know what to say to that.

“I…suppose that does not mean that you would find my body pleasing, though,” it continues, dimming a bit, “I just thought it would be nice. Romantic love seems like such a big feeling, and no one seems to be able to explain it to me in a way I can understand. I am not sure I would be very good at it, but I believe I would like to try. To truly love someone seems like it must be a worthy goal.”

Pride’s face creases in mild concern, holding his hand out to his friend in offering. Tenacity obligingly floats over to settle in his palm, looking up at him curiously. The emotions around him seem conflicted, and it cannot parse them very well. Perhaps when it is not so small it will be easier. It will understand more because it will feel more. The broader scope of the world.

“To truly love someone is admirable, indeed,” he begins slowly, “But true love does not necessarily have to be romantic or sexual in nature. It is just as noble to be a devoted friend or a loyal guardian. I believe that you are already capable of loving things truly as you are now. Tenacity does not always have to be generous, but you are. You have a bright and gentle heart. You do not need a body to know what love is, my friend.”

“And do you love me truly as I am now, Pride?” it wonders, “As one friend loves another?”

“I do,” he admits easily enough.

“And will you still love me truly when my shape is solid?” it presses, its little body bright with the rosy glow of genuine pleasure.

Pride closes his eyes for a moment and heaves a weary sigh.

“Of course.” 

"Then I will continue to love you truly as well," it declares, sounding determined now, "Even if we find each other's physical forms very unappealing, and we do not wish to kiss or touch or have sex. I will be your devoted friend, even if you do not find me beautiful."

Pride snorts.

"And I will continue to be your friend even if you do not find me beautiful," he returns with a laugh.

"Do you promise?" Tenacity beams.

"I promise."