#bc my degree requirements took up enough credit hours

[euthymiya]

If I could just take classes that interest me without worrying about degree requirements I would be in school 24/7 bro

[elysianslove]

hi! how have you been since the hell that ensued after halloween is?

also could you do a batboys college au? like their major and how the reader would meet them and all that jazz? 👉👈

-🐥

hi anon!! i’m not sure what ur talking about @ the halloween stuff hvsdhjs but! here are the batboys hc’s! i’m not very familiar with duke thomas’s character enough to write about him tbh, so he’s not included here :( but if you want me to add him let me know!! i hope you enjoy!!

dick grayson

out of all the batboys i really didn’t know how to choose a major for him

but

i think he’d do law tbh, specifically criminal law 

his main motivation to become a police officer in bludhaven had been to be able to help people in any way he can 

i forgot if it’s canon or not but he does realize how corrupt it is and he quits but that’s another thing we won’t get into that lmao 

anyways yes let’s just stick with law 

meeting you ! 

he shares one or two courses with you

one that’s really early in the morning 

and one that’s later on in the afternoon 

dick is like a magnetic okay

anywhere he goes people are just attracted to him

like literally he will breathe 

but someone call the ambulance there’s a person that’s passed out bc of how beautiful he is

but this is an 8 am class 😃

so there’s no way ur awake enough to notice him

coincidentally he sits next to you one time

and this is the one time

you decide

yeah lemme just fkn sleep is uni even worth it 

dick definitely notices right away but he doesn’t say anything 

he thinks you look so cute passed out on your desk like this 🥺

when the professor signals the end of the class, he watches as people file out and then he just leans over and nudges you slightly 

you nearly punch him bc he scared you ❤️

he just laughs and goes “class is over” 

you just sigh like the guilt starts to hit you and your heart begins to sink

and he sees your disappointed face and just goes 

“i took a lot notes. i can share them w you?”

lifesaver in every single way dick grayson 😻😻😻

you had another class that you had to run to and you were rushing

he was like “dw i’ll just give them to you whenever i see you next” 

and you 🏃🏻‍♀️ outta there

imagine ur surprise when u enter class at 12 pm and he’s there in all his glory 

after the lecture is over, he walks up to you as you’re packing and asks if you want to go to the coffee shop nearby 

to take his notes of course

and you finally register just how handsome he is 

so obviously you say yes wtf

and the rest is history 😼

he asks you out, properly, pretty early on tbh 

so unfazed lmfao 

now you take naps on his shoulder instead of the desk 💞💞💞

soooo into pda 

kisses u when he first sees you

when you’re parting ways

when he feels like it

straight up cuddles w during lectures i’m not even joking 

it’s disgusting how cute you two are 

gets you coffee for all those 8 am classes u have w him hehe

study dates always turn into karaoke sessions somehow don’t even ask lmao

jason todd

english literature 

this is a collective agreement right? 

right

definitely english literature 

i dont even think he wants to go to uni but he’s going to waste time plus this is bruce’s money 😏🤑

your major doesn’t necessarily have to be english literature as well

but you share one class

and my god 

you two disagree on everything

like every little thing

at this point if he says something and you slightly agree internally you’ll still say some opposing shit 

that’s kinda what draws you to him 

at first you genuinely had nothing against him

but then this kind of rivalry developed for no specific reason 

but it was fun

and he was hot

so seeing him get flustered or angry made him even hotter somehow 

but then

but t h e n

you’re not sure if your professor like ships you or something

so you’re assigned a debate topic on one of the books you’d discussed in class/one of the books you’ve read outside, and within each group are the two sides for and against 

not only were you in the same team as jason, but you were on the same side as him

so you had to work with him

the audacity of the professor omg 

but jason needs this course 

and 

well you don’t but it’s too late to back out now 

you two meet in the campus library after deciding on a book with the other two of your team

and 

honestly??? 

you two work so well together 

like insanely well

during the debate you destroyed the other team 

spoiler alert 

doing so well with jason kinda made you like hot and bothered 

seeing him in his zone

sexy <3 

what i mean to say is

you both end up making out in some storage room lmfao 

or hate sex 😏

professor has a phd in matchmaking 🤔😻

i think you two don’t admit you like each other

bc you’re both stubborn as fuck

but eventually you’re literally on his lap on his couch and it just hits you

and you lean back and go

“wanna go out w me” 

and he just shrugs and goes “sure” and pulls you in for more kissing hehe

he’s not v good at the boyfriend thing tbh

you have to chase him around and be like “sir!!! did u forget about me huh!!!”

he doesn’t mean to i promise

he gets all blushy and flustered once he realizes 

only ever into pda if he’s insanely jealous 

will straight up make out w u regardless of where u are or who ur with lmfao 

he’s still getting used to the little intimacies and all 

debates in class are so much more fun now cause he finds it so hot when u get all riled up hehe

that eng lit professor is so happy for you two omg

tim drake

okay i also couldn’t really decide for him

but maybe he’d study something like physics (or maybe computer engineering/computer science) 

idk u have to have a death wish to wanna major in physics so tim’s major it is

i’m not sure how it works for every other uni but my uni requires 6 credits of sciences to graduate 

so let’s say for the sake of this hc u take like just the first level of physics to get 3 credits 

and 

you’re struggling 😃👍🏼

so you like approach your professor with a few questions before the quiz 

but tim is also there

and he kinda makes small talk while you two wait outside the office

and he asks why you’re here

you show him

and he’s like “oh i took this course w the same professor as well, i could help?” 

it’s like an angel had descended from the heavens for you personally 

you take his number and decide to meet up with him after a few hours 

he’s of so much more help than your professor would’ve been, even if ur prof is a really nice and smart person 

and he’s super like

patient with you? 

also he pays for all the coffee and snacks you’re getting after you already get them 

ur like bruh i didnt 

dont pay pls

and he’s like no im loaded let me 😼

swooning <3 

and guess what!! 

you ace the quiz out of some miracle

first thing you do is text him and he congratulates you 

and then

bc ur not blind and tim is so fucking cute

you’re like “can i take u out to thank u” 

tim’s brain stops working but ! 

he does say yes eventually 

he becomes your designated physics tutor + your amazing boyfriend

being with tim is so like

chill

it’s a very relaxed time 

lots of study dates! and cafe dates! all hours of the day whether the sun is up or not 

into pda but to a certain degree 

like yes of course have a kiss pretty baby 

but also it will only be a small peck

any time anyone passes by like common rooms you two will be there snuggling on the couch, one or both of you completely passed out 

damian wayne

business major 100% 

or a bsba econ major, which is basically the business side of economics 

he has to take over his father’s company one day duh 

also i genuinely think damian would excel in this field 

he’s a very keeps to himself kinda guy in uni

like you only ever see him in your common classes and then he just

disappears 

anyways there was this party that everyone was going to, and damian wasn’t planning to

but dick accidentally read some groupchat’s messages and was like are u going

damian went 🏃🏻‍♀️

but dick was like go and try to make friends !!!! 

and dames cant say no to his big bro 🥺 so he goes

stays in a corner on the settings app the entire time

like half an hr in he just leaves and is walking home/back to his dorm when you come like rushing up to him 

you’re zooming 

and then you just latch onto his hand and lean up to press a kiss to his cheek, whispering in his ear “this person’s been following me for like 15 mins just please go along w this” 

he kinda stiffens but when he does notice that there’s a person eyeing you he slips his arm around your waist and just carries on walking

he walks you to your home/dorm and is like

so awkward 

but it’s okay ! ur a people’s person enough for the two of you 

you thank him so much over and over 

and then you’re like 

“can i take you out on a real date?” 

and then he becomes ur real boyfriend hehe

is still super stiff but it’s only bc he’s so hyper aware of how attractive you are

and i’m super positive he doesn’t have that much experience with dating so 

you hold the reigns 

but he’s a great boyfriend all in all tbh 

super attentive, super protective, and so loving 

isn’t into pda especially on college campus but he does like subtle pda

things like linking your pinkies or giving you his hoodie to just parade around campus hehe

end note; i’m sorry if these feel rushed or anything like. i used to be an avid writer for the batboys, but i just haven’t been feeling it lately. i still love to write from them bc i know these boys so well eeeeppp. anyways feel free to request some more!!

[calpicowater]

Day 103/365: April 13th 2018 | Last Day of ... Undergrad ???

To be honest, I am always paranoid about announcing stuff like this just in case my academic advisor and I fucked up on calculating my degree requirements lmao...... Even though I got 2 official degree assessments (during 2016 and 2017) as well as an informal degree assessment at the beginning of this term. I double checked, triple checked, quadruple checked. I checked for courses and credits until I went crazy LLOLLLL. In other words, I did ****everything**** that I possibly could. If things go wrong, that really would be the worst luck ever and even Bad Luck Lily does not seem to have the ability to fuck That up. Because I know that my GPA standing will be enough to graduate for sure. I’ll be fine.... so... calm tf down @/me. ;_;

ANYWAY. About today! Today was ridiculously busy and eventful. Felt super long. I woke up at the ungodly hour of 9am and got ready. Before going to class, I went to SUB with Charmy to get free pancakes and sausages (+ orange juice 🍊)! One of the UASU volunteers asked me about compliments because they saw my shirt and I felt so recognized LMFAO. Anyway, a bunch of people were waiting on sausages and each person could take 2. But when it came to my turn, there were THREE left in the bin and there was another person reaching for sausages at the same time as me and the just TOOK the extra piece without negotiating with me!!! OR EVEN TRYING TO LET ME HAVE IT!!!!!! BUT!!! I waited for a bit longer for more sausages and even though I ended up freezing for 5 more minutes outside, I ended up getting 3 sausages in total so who’s the winner now!!!!!!!!!!! >: ( 

Ate the free breakfast, went to the final earth science lecture (zzz) and went to quad for PositiviDay! I basically just made balloons with Vivian + Kevin for 1.5 hours LMAO. I have never made so many balloons in my life!!! Overwhelming but fun lololol. After making balloons, I ate Pearl’s leftover Donair poutine with Erica HAHAHA. After that, I went to the BeaverTails food truck and used the 5 free tickets that I was given *_* and got the cinnamon/sugar/lemon flavour. Nom nom. Spent the rest of the time sitting at the treats table with Cindy. Wheee. 

Went to my brain chem lecture aka my final lecture of undergrad........... WOAH... The lecture deadass ended within 30 minutes LMFAO. Went back to quad for club group pic and then went home and rested (cooked + ate noodles, proofread my research proposal + submitted it) before going to Kung Fu Tea with Erica and Jerry at 9pm lolololol. We went for their Buy 1 Get 1 Free event and tbh it wasn’t super worth it because they seem to be really cheap..... deadass filled mine + Erica’s cups with 50% ice like what the fuck........ this is especially wtf because we both asked for no ice smh fhkjsdgks anyway after being at KF tea for 30 minutes, we went to Coco because Jerry wanted more bubble tea??????? LOOOOO>LLLLFJSKF wild kids right here!!!! But today was a good way to celebrate the end of classes (5ever). I had fun ^_^ ~

[jennymusictherapy-blog]

3 Things About Being A Music Therapist That Others Don’t Tell You About

1) It takes a lot of hard work and dedication to become a board-certified music therapist. 

“The education of a music therapist is unique among college degree programs because it not only allows a thorough study of music, but encourages examination of one’s self as well as others.” -American Music Therapy Association (AMTA). 

Although the required coursework vary from school to school, completing my music therapy requirements at Berklee College of Music was challenging. Every semester I had an average of 8 courses/semester (Berklee goes by semesters, not years) and each class consisted of 1-2 credits, at most 3. These classes included music theory, arranging, conducting, ear training, music technology, psychology, private lessons, ensemble, music therapy, development seminars, electives, and general studies. Courses specific to music therapy included 5 levels of supervised practicum fieldwork in facilities that served individuals with disabilities in the community. I was assigned to work at a school setting with children diagnosed with cerebral palsy for my first practicum, and this was my first direct hands-on client experience with music therapy. I was then placed at a nursing home for my second practicum that focused on geriatrics in which I served groups of elderly who were diagnosed with depression and Alzheimer’s disease. Then I got to work with homeless women in my next practicum, adults with developmental disabilities in the one after that, and children and babies in intensive care units during my final practicum at Boston Children’s Hospital. Courses in addition to each practicum focused on specific areas, such as P1 (practicum 1) in Special Education, P2 in Geriatrics, P3 in Research, P4 in Psychiatry, and P5 in Medicine. Although you’re required to work for about 7-8 weeks at your chosen facility (1-2hrs once a week) and that may not seem like much, having to balance studying, completing research, doing homework assignments, practicing instruments, preparing for concert recitals, recording music, attending meetings, memorizing songs, and overall figuring out my life as both a musician and a music therapist was very challenging. Although my main focus was music therapy, I still needed to focus on vocal performance as I was graded for my musical skills, not just for my clinical work. There are numerous amounts of documentation and clinical writing involved as well, and each practicum is paired with courses related to what you’re learning and dealing with in that specific practicum. Music therapy courses at Berklee require not only sitting at your desk listening to lectures, finishing up tasks and passing exams, but they require active participation such as public speaking, group work, role playing, advocating, and playing instruments. In other words, it’s about practicing and developing skill through action than just having mere knowledge about each course. Meditation and self-care practices are also taken place inside classrooms where you get to be in an open and vulnerable space with others, tap into your own personal thoughts, emotions and feelings, and focus on self-awareness and awareness of others. There is a lot of individual attention that you get from professors who have high expectations of their students (Berklee’s student-teacher ratio- 11:1), and because I got to learn in such small, inclusive classroom environments with direct patient contact at fieldwork, I grew massively in my musical and clinical knowledge and abilities. Because I was pushed to actively participate and throw myself into uncomfortable situations, I’ve grown immensely through my learning. It’s great that we get to apply what we learned in class directly into practice at our practicum sites and receive feedback from our supervisors on site who are also professional music therapists. Classrooms feel like workshops, and practicums feel like small unpaid internships. It’s challenging to be seen and trained as a musician, professional, and therapist inside classrooms when we’re still students and sometimes don’t feel mature enough to handle the ups and downs of social and emotional experiences throughout the whole process. But real growth happens when you’re out of your comfort zone and that’s how Berklee was like for me and for many others who are currently music therapy students. We are constantly pushed to feel uncomfortable in our learning. 

Then after you’ve completed all of your training at school which usually takes about 4.5-5 years, you graduate (hurray!) and then go search for an internship to receive your degree. This is the last step you need to complete before receiving your official diploma and becoming a professional music therapist. My internship took place at Children’s Hospital of Orange County (CHOC) in which I worked 40 hours/week, unpaid, for 6 months. Although there are some paid music therapy internships, most are not and require you to work 6-9 months depending on the site. Then once you complete your internship, you are finally eligible to sit in for the certification exam. Once you pass the exam, you are finally acquired the credential Music Therapist-Board Certified (MT-BC). 

2) Therapy > Music. 

I say music therapy is 70% therapy and 30% music. We are using music as a tool to reach non-musical goals. So it’s not just about performing and entertaining patients/clients and wowing them through your musical skills, it’s about using music purposefully and intentionally through the connection and relationship you build with your patients/clients to help them reach their goals. We do music WITH the patient, not just TO the patient. It doesn’t mean you have them to follow you, you adapt yourself to follow them. This is also the main difference between music education and music therapy- while music education focuses on musical knowledge and skills that follows a standard, rigid curriculum with no adaptations to meet the patient’s specific needs, music therapy adapts the music to meet each patient’s specific goals and needs. Music therapists are trained to see the needs of patients with disabilities and special needs on a deeper level, and therefore know how to use effective strategies to target those specific needs through music. Here is an example I can provide from my internship- I’ve worked with several cancer patients at CHOC and at the time, many were undergoing stem cell transplants and chemotherapy. Going through treatment can be extremely stressful and scary for kids, especially when their family isn’t around to keep them company through challenging times. Kids need to be in supportive environments where there is structure, autonomy/independence, and relationship support. In order to target these three elements, my main goals for music therapy were to provide structured and predictable environments, increase their autonomy and control, and build rapport. To provide structure, I used familiar music for predictability and songwriting scripts; for autonomy support, I allowed patients to make their own choices about lyrics, melody, how they wanted the song to sound like; and for relationship support, I focused on building rapport through discussing about the content of the song, brainstorming ideas together, and interacting throughout the overall songwriting process. Providing specific music interventions that are tailored to their experiences helps create a safe space and allows them to drive benefit from music and be successful in therapy. So music therapy isn’t just focusing on the musical elements- rhythm, melody, harmony, timbre, pitch, dynamics- but it’s focusing on the musical elements to be used clinically in purposeful ways. It’s more about the interaction, the connection with the patient/client rather than the music itself. Because our main focus is therapy, music therapists utilize a variety of methods and don’t necessarily have a traditional, fixed way of doing things when providing music and playing instruments. I’ve used the back of my guitar as a drum once, the side of my guitar as a slide for stuffed animals, boomwhackers to slide eggs through the tube rather than whacking them on hard surfaces to make sounds (which is how you would “normally” play it), the back of a floor drum as a pot to cook pretend soup with kids, xylophone blocks as cake for dessert, a drum mallet to strum the guitar, and I can name other ways where I’ve used music creatively, thinking outside the box for patients. You have to think what are the GOALS you’re trying to reach, and how are you using music as a TOOL to reach those goals? Music therapists use music both traditionally and non-traditionally to reach non-musical goals. Unlike a traditional music educator who plays guitar to teach students how to strum and has everyone to follow, music therapists could use a guitar to teach how to strum, use it for play using toys, move it around in different positions and be flexible with the overall use of the instrument that follows the patient and their response to music. Music therapists are aware of how to utilize music to engage and target specific needs of individuals from the moment-to-moment experience. 

3) You never know what to expect as a music therapist. 

There are no fixed answers to anything. We need to let go of expectations and assumptions about various situations and circumstances, especially during sessions. I remember my supervisor who is a board-certified music therapist with almost 20 years of experience with music therapy, telling me he still gets nervous to this day walking into patient rooms, because it is a new experience for him each time. It is crucial that we remain open to whatever happens, to lean onto discomfort, to let go of the need to control and to simply go with the flow. I had one patient at CHOC where, when I went to check-in to ask if he was in the mood for some music, he responded with an enthusiastic “yes!” and gave me a huge smile. He seemed to be feeling a lot better than the last time I saw him when he was undergoing chemotherapy, so I got excited and started thinking to myself what songs would be good for him and which instruments I could use for those songs. I told him I’d be right back with my instruments which only took 5 minutes and walked right back to his room, only to see he was now crying after his mom refused to feed him chicken nuggets. He was not allowed to eat before his procedure, and he looked at me and shook his head. I had no choice but to put aside the session plan I had for him and adjust myself fully to that moment. I decided to pull out an ocean drum and strum relaxing chords on my guitar to provide relaxation and calm his emotions, and matched my humming to my guitar. I had no idea how the session was going to go after that and what to expect out of it, but I trusted my gut in that moment and decided that that was what was best for him. Then the next day, I walked into his room again to see he was feeling a lot better and was bursting with energy throughout the session so I matched myself to his energy level and provided that high stim he needed. Being a music therapist means you’re constantly having to deal with fluctuations (fluctuating referral calls, fluctuating moods of patients and families, fluctuating health conditions) and overall spontaneity- so it’s crucial that music therapists are flexible, open-minded, and adaptable to various circumstances. The only things to expect as music therapists are to expect the unexpected, expect discomfort, and expect the unknown. 

[bedlamsbard]

Organizing (Grad) School Applications

Applying to college or graduate school has a lot of steps, some of which need to be done in advance of the deadline.  I’m not the most organized person alive, and in the past that’s definitely come back to bite me insofar as apps go, mostly because I won’t get everything lined up and end up missing the deadline as a result.

This is the method I used last year when I was applying to graduate schools.  It requires a fair amount of advance planning, because I knew going in (this was my fifth round of applications and the first round of entirely PhD apps) that that was mostly likely to be where I was going to fall down, so I needed to bite-size it as much as possible.  This is aimed at grad school apps, but the same method should work fine for college as well; there are just a couple extra grad steps.

I really recommend doing this on your computer, because I ended up hyperlinking a lot of stuff so I didn’t have to google it and dig around the department website every time.  I actually just did it in my Tumblr drafts, but something like Google Docs or even Microsoft Word or Excel would work just as well.

KEY POINT: You can do all of this in five minutes a day if you start early enough.  You don’t have to dedicate six hours a day to it or do every step in a single day; in fact, I recommend only doing about 5-15 minutes a day, then putting it aside and doing literally anything else.  If that’s one e-mail?  Good!  If that’s looking up one school’s website?  Great!  If it’s filling in ticky boxes for five minutes?  Hurrah!

Whatever works, works.

Step 1

Narrow down your schools by whatever metric you’re using: my initial list was 13, I narrowed that down to 8 and ended up applying to 6.  Write down the school, the department (your area of specialty if applicable), at least one professor in the department that you want to work with, and the application deadline(s).  Hyperlink the program page on the department website.

Example:

Boston College - History (medieval)

Robin Fleming (medieval/Late Antique)

January 2, 2017

Louisiana State University - History (Late Antique/medieval)

Maribel Dietz (ancient/Late Antique)

January 15, 2017

University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill - Classics with Historical Emphasis

Jennifer Gates-Foster (ethnicity & identity)

December 13, 2016

December 21, 2016 (letters of rec)

Step 2

Go through each program and write down every requirement for the application.  Not all of these will be on the department website, so you’ll probably have to go to the graduate school’s website as well.  Every requirement.  Double and triple-check.

Things to check for:

Digital vs. hard copy transcripts

Also, which schools. If you’ve taken summer courses at another institution, they may be required; they may only be required from degree-granting institutions.

No graduate schools require high school transcripts as far as I know.

Number of letters of recommendation (the standard number is three, some schools will accept four)

Deadlines -- does your program have different deadlines for the application and for letters of rec? does your program have a different deadline than the main graduate school?

Program-specific requirements -- writing samples are standard; some schools also require a book review, a portfolio, or something else.

Does the program require or recommend contacting the professor within the department whom you’re interested in working with?

GRE scores -- if you’re in the States just assume you have to take the GRE, though not all programs require it.

Personal statement vs. statement of purpose (or both)

Resume vs. CV (curriculum vitae)

COST.  Almost everywhere in the U.S. has an application fee; make sure you know what it is.  Some schools will have a fee waiver deadline; in many cases you can also apply for a fee waiver if it’s financially difficult for you.

Organize everything by application date; I divided them up by month and put every requirement on there, as well as a hyperlink to the APPLICATION page (not the department page).  I didn’t go through each application 

Example

DECEMBER

Dec 13 – University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill - Classics

Application

transcripts (scanned)

letters of recommendation (3)

GRE scores

CV

note: separate requirements for classical archaeology

writing sample (20-30 pages)

personal statement (1-2 pages double-spaced)

professional goals?

why a PhD in classics?

particular interests UNC program and faculty?

any special circumstances?

application fee ($85)

JANUARY

Jan 2 – Boston College - History

Application

statement of purpose (1-2 pages, intellectual interests, why BC?)

official transcripts (scanned)

hard copy only required after matriculation

GRE scores

letters of recommendation (3)

writing sample (10-15 pages)

application fee ($75)

Jan 15 – Louisiana State University - History

Application

GRE scores

official transcripts (hard copy)

statement of purpose

letters of recommendation (3)

writing sample (10-20 pages – excerpt from MA thesis)

application fee ($50)

Step 3

Make your applications.  Write down your username (or e-mail address used) and password -- I kept these handwritten in the same notebook I used for a few other things.  Make sure your hyperlinks from the previous step lead directly to the application itself.

Step 4

I took the GRE several years ago, so I didn’t have to do it again, but if you haven’t taken the GRE yet I would advise you do so as soon as possible in order to get your scores in on time.  (I’m not sure if it’s too late or not for people wanting to apply in this round of applications.)

Step 5

Ask your recommenders.  I asked five professors; most schools only require three recommenders but I’m an untrusting sort so I lined up four (one said no because he had only had me for languages), three from my most recent graduate program and one from my previous postgrad program.  Since I wasn’t in town with any of them, I e-mailed them and said, essentially, “Dear Dr. So-and-So, I am applying to graduate school this year, would you be willing to write me a letter of recommendation?  I am planning on applying to programs in ancient and medieval history and classical studies; the deadlines are in December and early January.  Thank you, K.”

Generally professors will say yes!  They may ask for your statement of purpose and sometimes your most recent paper; I sent them all a draft of my statement of purpose (more on this coming soon), my CV, and for the two who hadn’t been on my thesis committee, a copy of my MA thesis.  (There’s a pretty good guide here, as well.)

Do this as early as possible.  Now, I have asked professors for letters of recs at the last minute before, but I don’t recommend it.  Try to give them at least a month’s lead time to write it.

Step 6

Order your transcripts.  Many institutions are now granting digital transcripts, which is great!  None of mine did.  If you’re a current student, you can usually just order them online and pick them up in a few days from the Registrar’s Office; if you’re no longer a current student you’ll want to have them sent to you.  Yes, you.  Most universities require you, the applicant, to upload a PDF file of your transcript to their application, so you’ll want to have one.  I manually scanned my transcripts and keep PDFs of them.

A few universities require transcripts to come directly from the degree granting institutions in hard copy, which means you’ll have to order them from your university and have them sent to the graduate school you’re applying to.  The receipt information will be on that grad school application’s webpage.  This unfortunately generally costs more money.

If you went abroad for university or graduate school, note that you’ll want more lead time because a hard copy will take longer to get there (and sometimes more processing time).  Since I did my postgrad in England, for the one graduate program that required hard copy transcripts I had to order them about a month in advance.  This also cost more than ordering them from my undergraduate university in the States.

Step 7

Sit down with your transcript and write out every one of your major and minor classes.  Every single one.  Make sure you also note down the grade you got and the number of credits it was worth.  If you did a double major or a double minor, as I did, do this for all of them.

Many graduate programs require your major GPA, which isn’t noted on your transcript.  This is pretty easy to figure out -- just plug it into something like GPA Calculator -- but it’s a time-consuming hassle.  Since I had a double major and a double minor, I calculated my GPA for each one separately, then together, and put down whichever of those three turned out the highest.  I only had one school ask for my minor GPA; same process.

Writing everything down will also mean you have a list to refer back to if a school asks for all relevant courses you’ve taken, thanks, Boston College, that was really annoying to do.

Step 8

At this point if you like -- and I would recommend it, since I didn’t do this and it came back to bite me -- you can go through each application and note individual requirements: major and minor GPA, relevant courses, work history, languages, etc.

Step 9

Start drafting your statement of purpose.  It can be very very rough at this point; you’ll refine it later. This is the thing where you give your academic history, your areas of interest, and why you want to go to that particular school.

Note that most universities won’t have the same word- or page- length requirement. I would recommend writing one general statement of purpose -- in my case I wrote one for classics/ancient history and one that differed slightly for medieval history -- and leaving the last paragraph to revise for each university.  In that paragraph you want to make it very clearly that you’re familiar with the program and the professors you want to work with; make it as specific as possible.  I sent the cleanest early draft of my statement of purpose to my recommenders (making it sure they knew it was a draft).

Step 10

Start actually working on your applications!  In whatever order you feel like; this is mostly a case of filling in boxes.  It’s time-consuming but generally brainless.

As many of you know, I’m a big fan of using timers and doing five to fifteen minutes of work a day, which is how I did my apps.  At least five minutes a day, aiming for at least five days a week.  I put stickers on my calendar every time I did something on my apps because (a) I like stickers and (b) it shows me that I’ve been working.

I think I started working on them in about mid-October, lost about a week in November because I wasn’t functional due to the election, finished the first half my apps in December, lost another two weeks because I wasn’t functional for personal reasons, and finished the second half of my apps in January.

Step 11

Figure out what you’re using for your writing sample.  In my case, I used a chunk of my MA thesis -- actually, several different chunks, because I tailored each excerpt to the program I was applying to.  Many of them had different word- and page- count requirements.

Here’s a “do what I say, not what I do” note: make sure you write down somewhere which writing sample you sent to which university, if you’re using different excerpts or different papers for them.  I still have no idea which chunk of my thesis I sent to which university and I wish I knew.

Step 12

Make sure you actually hit the “submit application” button once you’ve finished.  This is also generally the point at which you will have to give whatever university you’re applying to a large amount of money.

Step 13

Congratulations, you’ve applied to graduate school!  Your applications are in and finally you can know peace!  Actually that’s not true, you’ll be very stressed.  Response time varies a lot.  I got a rejection letter from one university less than a week after I submitted the application, but in general longer is better; you may not hear anything for a few months.

MAKE SURE YOU KEEP CHECKING YOUR E-MAIL.

I used my .edu address instead of my personal e-mail address because it looked more professional, and after I finished my last application I didn’t check it for a week because I figured it was early enough that no one would be contacting me yet.  Three days after this I got a frantic e-mail on my personal account from a professor at one of my applying universities saying she had been trying to get in touch with me, but couldn’t because I wasn’t checking the address I had used to apply.  (She contacted one of my recommenders, who was actually the only person at my previous university who had my personal e-mail address.)

I also got an e-mail from one university telling me that I had been waitlisted, did I want to stay on the waitlist or had I gotten a better offer?  Another e-mail told me I’d been offered acceptance into the MA program, but not the PhD program; did I want that?  Another wanted clarification on my GRE scores (they were right on the expiry line).  You never know what people will ask, so make sure you can stay in contact. 

Step 14

You may have an interview, which I did.  I prepared some things to talk about -- my academic background and areas of interest, both of which were on my statement of purpose, as well as some other academic interests I hadn’t put in my statement of purpose.  I also prepared some questions to talk about -- what kind of teaching training the program supplied, how much teaching I would be required to do, if the department got along with other departments in the university (because I’m interdisciplinary), questions about field work and internships, and also, what the professors interviewing me liked about the university and the city it was in.  You want to seem engaged and knowledgeable about the program you’re interested in.

These can be phone or Skype interviews; in my case it was supposed to be a Skype interview but ended up being a phone one because my Skype didn’t end up working.  (To this end, make sure they have your phone number as well.)

I did end up getting asked in my interview about the fact that I took a year off where I had no work history; I was upfront and said that because I had finished my program late, I had decided to concentrate on my applications and my health rather than trying to get into the job market, since it was financially possible for me.  Admitting I took a year off did not hurt my applications.

Step 15

Wait and cry.  You honestly can’t do anything about your applications at this point, so be gentle with yourself.  If you’re still in classes, concentrate on them; you don’t want your grades to slip in your last term.  If you’re not -- well, at the time I was busy being completely miserable about something else, which occupied about 90% of my thoughts at any given point in time, but other than that, it does sometimes help to come up with ideas of what you can do if you don’t get in.  Wait for the next round of applications?  Apply overseas?  (Different deadlines, many of them rolling.)  Put yourself on the job market?  Take a year off to lie on the floor?  There are options.

Good luck, and feel free to ask me further questions or clarifications.  I can’t promise I’ll know the answer, but I will try.

[noheroes-allowed]

11/2

literally did nothing all day. watched wwyd for three hours straight. didn’t even cook and had ramen for dinner with a shit load of dessert after. opened a hackerrank and realized how unqualified I am. just like the previous two earlier this week. the test I did last weekend that I spent more than double the expected time on rejected me. don’t have the motivation to spend another 10 hours for another one just to be rejected again so I’ve given up on that. don’t wanna do my rescheduled interview on monday that bailed on me thursday. friday was really shitty and I couldn’t answer their technical questions bc I don’t know anything about financial services. in conclusion, feeling quite dejected. I thought I would have the motivation to learn sql and python earlier this semester but I really don’t.

applied to a place I’ve been eyeing since the spring back when I thought I would take the next fall semester off to try a data science internship to see if I liked it over econ. hopefully they’ll be nice.

gonna take the short course in python finally bc every semester I say I will learn it on my own and I don’t. taking the boring econ class that satisfies my two history requirements and not taking behavioral like I wanted since high school which sad. taking the really hard cs class and hoping I won’t die. taking the econ class that also satisfies my stats methods requirement. taking financial bc I feel like I need to know. really really really sad my planned schedule evolved to four days of 8:40s and 22 credits.

really mad at myself from april when I didn’t choose to preenroll in the better econ class that satisfied history. bc it was open and is always popular and always fills up. I had the chance and didn’t take it so now I have to take the boring and harder one. I’m a big dumb dumb and should’ve taken the short course last spring. or taken 1110 last last spring dumbass.

literally spent another 5 hours on trying to figure out this shit.

bright side. I will finally not have classes on friday after the short course is done. I always go in trying to not have classes friday but it’s never been possible.

wish I could take time series and bayesian. though I may be able to next next spring. wish I could take behavioral. wish I had taken databases this sem. wish I could take financial engineering next fall. wish I could take simulation modeling next fall. wish I knew sql and tableau and sas and python and how to query and how to code.

wish I knew if the mps is worth it. it’ll give me an official degree in applied statistics - data science. but there are other useful classes I won’t be able to take bc of the theory requirements.

started an ab workout yesterday bc I hate my stomach. it was a good burn. hope I have the motivation to keep going for at least 2 weeks. will do workout after this. really cold and unmotivated to change though. my feet are literally freezing with socks on. really really bad circulation.

bright side. my brother is going to save zombie skittles for me. last time I went home I noticed he grew a little. it’s weird I don’t get to see him grow.

my mom texted me about shoes. my tennis shoes have holes in them and I’m mad bc they didn’t last long. my mom said we’ll buy new ones when I get home. going to see my cousin tomorrow. picking up 汤圆 and 包子 from her. will bring her a donut and brownie I took from the dining hall.

I will do the three hour coding challenge that I’ve been pushing off for a month. it will be good practice for me. I will look up potential paper topics for my econ seminar tomorrow. I will study for chinese tomorrow. I will cook tomorrow. I will stop thinking about my schedule.

literally just writing that list stressed me the fuck out. I thought it would motivate me but not really. bright side. extra hour from daylight savings tomorrow.

I think I worked too much last week. ie I didn’t do enough school work or interview prep or applying. which is stupid since I literally spent all day doing nothing. I could literally be stress free if I didn’t have all this internship stuff bogging me down. can’t relate to rochelle only taking four classes and only taking two econ each semester and then taking two classes she’s semi interested in just bc she can. also don’t think she realizes that the technical coding interviews are so hard for me. I think she thinks I’m only doing behavioral ones. also I don’t think she realizes how many I’ve applied to. when she asked if I’d done interview prep and I said no I feel like she was judging me like obviously it won’t work out if you don’t practice. but like it’s different when it’s technical.

only 2 more months in this decade. crazy wild. I’m going to be a full adult for the entirety of the next. that’s insane. also like so disconnected for youth mainstream culture already. but also in a way always has been oops.

mom said yesterday I need to get married so I’m not so lonely when she passes. not in such words but also kinda in such words. said people shouldn’t think about it bc it’s inevitable. sooner or later. I said I want it later for her. she said I need to take care of myself if I wanna live longer. I said I don’t care about myself I just worry about her. she said that’s stupid to say and I shouldn’t sleep so late.

[jessestoddard]

Today’s interview with Karen Marie Chase is part of my ongoing blog-to-book project: Life After High School: Secrets To A Successful Life By Those Who Have Had Twenty Years To Think About It (or) What They Didn’t Teach Us Gen Xers In High School. If you missed the last post, click here, otherwise, you can start at the beginning here.

Karen Marie Chase

(Formerly Karen Marie La Mesa)

Beverly, MA

My Life In High School

Who were you in High School and how did you feel about it?

Who was I in high school? I was a nice girl who didn’t really fit into a group. I was athletic but wasn’t a “jock.” I got good grades but wasn’t a “nerd.” I wasn’t a “stoner,” yet I had friends who smoked and did drugs. In fact, I’ve never had even a single drag off a cigarette or tried a drug in my life. I had lots of friends but wasn’t one of the “popular” girls. A girl who had nothing—but everything.

I am a child from a single parent family—the girl who would help anyone and expected nothing in return. I was an independent, hard working kid, (started babysitting when I was 9, got a paper route (delivering the Skagit Valley Herald) when I was 11, started bussing tables when I was 15 and moved into working in a kitchen when I was 16 and have been working ever since.

How did it make me feel? Honestly, I never really thought about it before, but as I write this I am feeling really proud. I never caved to peer pressure or did anything I didn’t want to do just because other people were doing it or tried to talk me into it. My mom taught me to treat other people the way I wanted to be treated. A motto I lived by then and one I still do my best to live by today.

What did you think your life would become when you graduated?

What do any of us think our lives are going to become after graduation?

I thought I’d graduate from college, get a job, get married, have kids and live happily ever after. Who doesn’t picture some version of that grandeur?

My Life After High School

What happened in your life to you, for you, and by you in the last twenty years (how have you used your time and who have you become)?

As mentioned I come from a single parent family. My mom was proud and didn’t have help from anyone, which meant, we (me, my mom and younger brother) moved… A LOT.

I went to five different first grades alone.

Born in Torrington, CT, we landed on the West coast fairly early. On our way to the west, we lived in South Dakota and Colorado before landing in Reno, NV. We spent time in California, and Oregon as well. When I had just four weeks of 6th grade left we moved to Anacortes.

My brother and I were in shock. We had two aunts there and had visited but never thought we’d live there. My mom sent us ahead of her because she thought it would be helpful for us to make friends for the summer.

The Anacortes School District separated my brother and I. They sent him to Island View and me to Mt. Erie. The week after we got to Anacortes we both got the Chickenpox. Then I got to go to Camp Orkila. Met some great friends at Mt. Erie. Friends I keep in touch with today.

The move to Anacortes wasn’t easy. I’d come from a big busy, 24-hour city with huge overcrowded schools to a small “island” that rolled up the sidewalks at 8:00 every night. We spent four years in Anacortes.

I struggled at first; most kids who lived there had lived there their whole lives. They already had their groups. It took me a long time, but I was beginning to find my way, and then it was time to move again.

I was so ANGRY with my mom for moving us again. It was the summer of 9th grade. I had friends, a boyfriend, was doing well in school and sports, a paper route. I didn’t want to move! I sat in the U-Haul with my arms crossed and didn’t speak to my mom the whole way. How could she be doing this to us again?

I started 10th grade in utter shock. I thought Anacortes was small! We moved to a town called Wilton and in 11th grade the next town over, Lyndeborough. These are truly TINY towns. The junior high and high school were combined, Wilton—Lyndeborough Junior Senior Co-Operative High School and only had 350 kids total for grades 7-12! I learned the definition of tiny. My graduating class had 43 kids and 40 of us graduated!

I started dating a guy who lived up the street from us. I dated him all through the remainder of high school and college. We broke up for a period of time when I was in college. I graduated with a Bachelors Degree in Fine Arts with a Graphic Design concentration. After graduation, I got an apartment with that boyfriend. We broke up about a year later.

Finding a job after graduation was shockingly hard. No one will hire anyone without experience, but no one wanted to give experience. I finally got a job in a business card print shop making $11 an hour.

I was so upset at this. I did everything I was supposed to; I went to college and got a degree… And for what? To rack up $80k in student loans to make $11 an hour?! What a freaking joke! I could have skipped school and got a job that paid me $8 an hour and have no student loans.

A woman I was working with sort of put things into perspective for me. She said, “Karen, I’ve been working here 10 years and I bet your starting pay is very close to what I make.” It really made me think.

I stayed at that job for two months because as luck would have it, the job I really wanted called me. The person they’d hired didn’t work out and I was choice number two. I left the BC job and took a design position in Concord, NH. I replaced two designers and they had a temp in to help me but I ended up being the sole designer. I was doing the work of two people but only getting paid for one.

At this job, I learned Life Lesson #1: It was a small family company. One of the guys who worked there gave me the best professional advice I’d gotten to date, “Just remember kid, this is a family business and you ain’t family.”

I worked my ass off at that company. Doing the work of two people and it got me nowhere. I still worked my butt off though. If there is one thing my mom instilled in my brother and me, it was a strong work and moral ethic.

Because student loans were so expensive I needed to find another job to help pay for them. My aunt got me a job bartending at a small bar. From there I went to bigger bars, some a bit nicer, some a bit seedy. But I made good money no matter where I was. On a Wednesday night, I’d make what I made in a whole week at my design job.

I’d been a waitress through college but not a bartender. I LOVED it. It was a natural fit for me. I have never been someone who required much sleep and I love people, so two jobs didn’t effect me in any way other than making it easier to pay my bills. I had a great time bartending.

At the same time, I’d convinced my best friend from High School (Wilton) to get an apartment with me in Manchester, NH, aka MachVegas.

Boy did we have a blast! We had so much fun the cops showed up more than once.  Let’s see… They came to our Halloween Party, our Pimp N’ Ho party, our Toga party. Heck, they showed up at our not-even-a-party card playing Saturday night…. Yep, we gave the Manchester police some funny stories to tell!

During this time I learned my second life lesson…

Life Lesson #2: Don’t date a guy you meet in a bar.

Working behind a bar you get hit on all the time and it’s very easy to turn these advances down. I decided to give one guy I met a chance. He seemed different. He was the nicest guy on the planet until you added alcohol!

Early on I disclosed that drugs (even weed) were not something I wanted in my life (this was the main difference between my high school sweetheart and me).  Unfortunately, he smoked a lot of it. To his credit, he tried to give it up but that translated to more drinking. He got so bad that my friends and family didn’t want him around.  Friends would tell me I was invited to things but that I couldn’t bring him.

I finally had enough when on a really bad snowy night he was being nasty and I said I was going home. It was a bad storm but I ran to leave anyway. I jumped in my car and went to back up and hit my breaks abruptly to his mom screaming to stop. He had thrown himself under my car and I nearly ran him over! Once he got out from underneath he ended up on the hood screaming at me to drive because he was going to die tonight. His parents came out and his father and I ended up wrestling him to the ground and pinning him down until he was foaming at the mouth. I didn’t even know that was real. Thought that was just some special effect you saw in the movies. The saddest part, the next morning he didn’t even remember doing any of it.

Why do guys always do too little until it’s too late then expect forgiveness? I’d been pushed to a point that I couldn’t return from.

I was trying to get away from him when I met David. It was a freak 80-degree day in the middle of February. The print shop I worked at had two buildings and I happened to notice a job sitting on the counter that was supposed to have shipped two days prior. Luckily, UPS picked up from our 2nd building later in the day. I grabbed the box and hurried down the hill.

As I was approaching the building there were two guys at the bottom the hill outside the main entrance to the building. One was on a motorcycle and said something. I didn’t know them so didn’t think they were talking to me and looked behind me. As I got closer I asked if they were talking to me and the guy on the motorcycle said, “Yes, do you need help carrying the box?”

I thanked him for the offer and kept going. When I was heading back they were still there. As I went by, the guy on the bike asked if I wanted to go for a ride. I said sure and kept walking. I caught him so off guard that he stumbled over his response which was, well I’d take you for a ride but I just got this bike today and don’t have the passenger seat yet.

I stopped and looked at him and said well then why did you offer? He tried to give me his phone number and told him if he was serious when he got his seat I worked at Town & Country and was the only Karen there. He could call me when the seat arrived.  It snowed 6 inches the next day!

A week or so later I got the call. It was snowing again and he said while he got his seat in, it was snowing so perhaps I would like to get a cup of coffee. I told him I didn’t drink coffee. Radio silence. I laughed and said, “But I do drink other things!”

I invited him to get some friends together as some of my girlfriends and I were going out that weekend. He ended up coming alone…. My aunt said, “Oh, he’s a brave soul.”  We dated for a year and got engaged that Christmas. We planned a wedding and sent out invitations and everything then I called it off after he broke my trust. We tried to work on things but it was never the same.

A few months shy of our 4-year anniversary—the day after Christmas—he said his feet were feeling funny to the point that I took him to the emergency room. He was diagnosed with Guillain-Barre´ Syndrome. An autoimmune disease that causes your immune system to attack your nervous system.

David was a Desert Storm Vet and I learned a lot about autoimmune diseases and the elevated number of Desert Storm Vets to suffer from them. The good news is if you are going to get an autoimmune disease this is the one to get. Ninety percent of people recover from it 100%, but it is a long slow recovery averaging 6-plus months. He spent a couple weeks in the hospital and a month in rehab. Every morning I would go to the hospital get him in his wheelchair and do laps around the hospital. Go to work, go home, walk the dogs and go back to the hospital.

By then I wasn’t bartending anymore but was a shot girl at a local bar. It was a hell of a lot easier than bartending and to my surprise much more fun! I met one of my very best friends in this job.

A funny thing that I can say with confidence is that I never judge anyone based on appearance. When being introduced to this girl on my first night, for some strange reason I looked at her and thought to myself: Oh man she’s going to be the biggest bitch ever!

I have no idea why I thought that. I was introduced to Amanda and seriously we were instant friends and have been the best of friends ever since.

That year, I left the bar early on New Year’s Eve—ran to the CVS and bought a bottle of sparkling cider and plastic cups and ran to the hospital, jumped the gate and waited outside the employee entrance until someone came out so I could get up to David’s room for New Years.

He was moved to rehab a few days later where I continued the same routine until it was time for him to come home. Sadly it was a downhill spiral from there.

Life Lesson #3: Don’t go down with the ship.

He had a hard time getting back to norm. In fact, he never ended up going back to work. I don’t remember why but he started doing drugs—heavy drugs. I tried to help, tried to get him back on track and to being well emotionally and mentally but I just wasn’t enough and he continued to spiral. We broke up, I moved out.

For the first time since before I graduated college I moved back home. This time, unlike when I left the long time beau, I took my things, things we bought together but I paid for and packed up. I made the mistake the fist time around of letting my Ex keep anything we bought together because my new roommate had furniture and I made better money than him, and I thought I’d be able to replace it sooner. I tried my best but can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved, so I said my goodbyes and moved on.

I started spending time with a guy I met in college. I’d gone back to school to see a friend graduate and bumped into him working. Eric and I became friends my junior year. I was a bank teller while in college and he came to my window.

Little did I know my whole life was about to change.

It turns out this guy worked at my college. We became pretty good friends in our senior year, but after graduation, I never expected to see him again. At my friend’s graduation, we reconnected.

We never talked again all summer then out of the blue he called me that winter and asked if I skied. I didn’t but had just learned how to snowboard. We started hanging out a lot that winter, while David didn’t.

After we broke up, I ended up doing some design work for him and he helped me build my office. I started a graphic design business and my mom lets me build an office and studio apartment in part of a building she owned. He came up on weekends to help me build it.

I got my little design shop up and running. Studio K was in operation for about 3 years.  I was also working part-time at the chamber of commerce. I got my name out there, met other businesses and business owners.

I was more or less breaking even and then in May of 2006, my office and apartment were flooded in the Mother’s Day Flood. A huge portion of New Hampshire flooded when 14 inches of rain fell in a short time and flooded much of southern New Hampshire and parts of Massachusetts.

We’d been close but never single at the same time.  For the first time in our friendship, we were both single. I also never saw anything working out between us because he had two children. His life was in Massachusetts; my life was in New Hampshire.

At the time I also had a 17-year-old cousin in my care. I wanted him to be able to finish high school and get off to college before I made any drastic changes.

Well, the Mother’s Day Flood changed all that. My office and apartment had been flooded out.  Which forced my hand to move sooner than planned. We made arrangements for him to stay with a family friend until graduation and I packed up and headed to Massachusetts to start my life with Eric.

I’m not really sure how all that happened. I never imagined I’d ever go back to Massachusetts—let alone live there.

We had some serious ups and downs and some REALLY trying times with his kids. He was working two jobs so I spent the majority of the time with his kids. At first, it was fine as the kids were really good kids.

As time wore on their mother started to cause all kinds of problems for us. Such major problems that we almost didn’t make it. Jealousy is a very unattractive quality. After years together I finally told him it was time to take things to the next level, that I wanted a family and if he didn’t want the same things as me then we were wasting each others time. I felt if he didn’t know after 5 years, he was never going to know and told him I had a time set in my mind that if he didn’t make up his mind, I’d be forced to make up mine.

His deadline was New Years. If he didn’t make a move by then, I’d be moving out. In October he surprised me with a trip to Mexico. He’d arranged my mom coming to pick up my dogs to watch them. He bought suitcases and a bathing suit for me and a couple dresses. I was floored. I tried not to get my hopes up. We’d never been on a vacation and this was a fancy one and was a gift in itself.

We arrived on the morning of Halloween. My favorite holiday! And that night, to my shock—he proposed!

To his shock, I asked him if I could think about it.

He wasn’t sure if I was serious. I was. I asked if we could have a baby? He said he was close to saying yes. I told him kids were a deal breaker for me. I wanted a family so if we could have a family and do something about the situation with the kids (things were still really rocky) then I’d be happy to be his wife.

We saved for two years to pay for our wedding. I wanted to be married before we had kids.  If I had known it would take so long to get pregnant then I might not have waited. I never dreamed of how hard it would be to get pregnant. It turns out there was an issue that was standing in our way, but as luck would have it after several years of trying we were finally blessed with good news. A baby was on the way.

Life Lesson #4: A healthy baby is truly the most amazing gift anyone could ask for.

I took for granted how difficult it would be to get pregnant. Then once I was, a healthy baby became the true blessing in life. During my pregnancy, my best friend (my partner-in-crime shot girl) lost a baby to a very rare umbilical cord accident when she was 7 months along.

She too had a hard time getting pregnant and this was very traumatic for her and her husband. Also while pregnant, another close friend’s baby was diagnosed with a severe heart condition while still in the womb. My niece stopped growing and arrived a month early. I had no idea what a blessing a healthy baby is on top of having the baby in the first place.

We did not know if we’d be welcoming McKayla Marie or Alexander James but were answered when Alexander James arrived on May 30th, 2015. It was a week late but perfectly healthy!

I have never felt more blessed than I do now. Everyone told me life as I knew it would change. I didn’t expect it wouldn’t but I had no idea it was humanly possible to love someone more every day! He is truly amazing.

I know I’m biased but he’s just perfect… If only he’d sleep!

I joke that I followed a boy to Massachusetts. I figure it’s ok since I married that boy and we now have the most amazing little boy and a couple wonderful stepchildren and hopefully a daughter-in-law in the works.

So that’s where I am family-wise. Career-wise, where am I? What was my path? It’s been a little bit of a bumpy ride.

I mentioned I went to college after high school, started out working in a couple print shops, left the second to be the art director at a magazine in Manchester, NH.

I got there and had one of the less-than-awesome experiences in my career.

Life Lesson #5: It’s not lonely at the top.

I got to this art director job and walked into a girl who was acting as art director and being more or less demoted. Their director had left and one of the girls working there had stepped up and was acting as art director.

She didn’t know I was being hired until the minute I walked through the door. What a way to start out!

I should have known better. This was also a small company and also run by a husband and a wife. The husband was fine, the wife—not so much. She was nasty and would play me and the rest of the designers against each other. She told me it was lonely at the top and that I couldn’t be friendly with the girls because I had to be their boss. I do not agree with that philosophy whatsoever.  I believe if you are good to people they will be good back to you and I stuck with that philosophy.

Needless to say, it didn’t work out and this was what pushed me to open Studio K Graphics. I knew I could do a good job and make money at it.

I met a friend/former customer for lunch one day shortly after leaving and he told me he had something in his car he wanted to give me. I got there and he opened the back door and in the car was a printer, a fax machine, a computer and a few other office necessities. He said I was talented and could make it running my own business. I, of course, refused the gifts. There was no way I could pay for them.  We went back and forth and I only agreed to take them if he’d let me pay him back in some way, even if that meant through trade.

So it worked out and that was how I started Studio K Graphics. Once I closed it down after the floods, I kept some of my customers, I just didn’t take on any new ones. I still have a couple I do some work for today.

When I was in college I worked in the kitchen for work-study. I called the guy who runs the kitchen at Endicott and asked if they could put me to work until I could find a job. I was in luck. So I worked in the kitchen at my old Alma Mater for a couple months until I landed an art director position at a company that published trade magazines.

So here we go again, a small company, run by a guy who had his daughter working there for the summer. Well, she was as “Royal Princess” as the piece of work he was!

What a disaster that place was. This was truly the worse job I’ve ever had. The guy was the type of guy who thrived on conflict. He wasn’t happy unless there was some drama going on and if there wasn’t any he created it. His daughter was a prima donna and ended up staying when the editor left. She took over.

Everything bothered her. You couldn’t put an article in her inbox without “disturbing” her. Augh! I hated that place. The guy squashed every shred of creativity out of me and made me a paranoid nervous wreck. Every day I’d go home crying. I only stayed there a year. I couldn’t take it.

This was during the time when the economy was having a rough time. Graphic design and web design jobs were often being combined into one and I had zero web training. I had several very successful interviews and even a couple second interviews in Boston. Something happened with all of them.

McKay Healthcare had a client they were hiring another designer for but got held up indefinitely with the FDA. They assured me not to worry; it would just be a couple weeks. Several weeks went by and when I checked they said they didn’t know how long it would be held up—could be a year.

The other, NSTAR, a union job working for an energy company needed someone with web experience. They had someone they also liked and had web experience. Elder Hostel loved me and I passed the test they gave me.  They didn’t mind I didn’t have web experience because they were willing the train the right person. The manager was going on vacation for two weeks so she said she’d be in touch when she got back.

As luck would have it, Murphy struck again. While she was away, their web designer gave their two-week notice and now the manager was making her hire someone with web experience as there’d be no one there to teach me. Such a bummer. I was really excited about that job.

FINALLY, I was working through the career center to find a job and get my resume in good order and take some classes. I took the Myers-Briggs Personality test that I thought was a total load of crap. A bunch of stupid multiple-choice questions that supposedly would tell you what kind of personality you had. There are only 16 different personalities.

I found out I’m an ENFP and let me tell you it kind of freaked me out a little bit. It nailed my personality to a ‘T’. Also, it tells you some jobs people with your personality types have been successful in and some to stay away from.

What was even more profound was that it gave me insight as to other personality types and traits they exhibit and I learned why this last job was such a pure hell for me. My personality doesn’t need timelines to get things done, actually, they are often counterproductive. I can multi-task and flip back and forth between more than one project and be working on them all in tandem. Quiet time isn’t needed. Music and or people don’t distract me or prohibit my productivity.

The boss’s princess was the complete opposite. She had to have timelines, schedules, could only do one thing at a time, noises, music, and people were distracting to her. Again I learned so much taking this test about others and myself.

I finally decided that I needed to take a web design course or I was never going to find a job. I found a program at the career center that would pay for me to go back to school if I could prove that I needed to be retrained to get back in the workforce. It was a lot of paperwork but I was determined and when I tell you Murphy struck again, it’s true. The day I was supposed to start my first class, I got a call from a staffing agency, I do think the ONLY staffing agency in the area I hadn’t heard of before and likely the only one I wasn’t registered with.

They found my resume online and had a job they thought I’d be a good fit for, and asked if I could come in the next day for an interview. I said sure—why not check it out?

They sent me to Salem Five (my bank) the next day for an interview. They called me later that day, said they loved me and asked if I could start on Monday! I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to work while in the program of going back to school and of course my caseworker was on vacation and no one could answer me so I accepted the job. I couldn’t imagine them telling me not to work.

It was a 3-month contract job to cover a maternity leave. I was fortunate enough to make a good impression on all the right people and 8 years later here I am.

I started out as the graphic designer and when she came back a role was created for me. Half my job was charitable foundation administrator and the other half was an event planner. I was brought on during a hiring freeze so my salary was low but I loved this company so much, I would have cleaned toilets to stay.

One of my first projects I worked on was an internal newsletter. It had a birthdays and anniversaries section. People were celebrating twenty- and thirty-year anniversaries. In this day and age that is unheard of. It spoke volumes to me about the integrity of the company. The first year I worked there I was nominated for employee of the year! Whoot Whoot. I didn’t win, but to even have been nominated after less than a year, I felt pretty good.

My career has evolved at the bank. I started out as the designer, then charitable foundation manager, event planner, to PR specialist and social media manager. Two years ago I was promoted to Assistant Vice President and I know almost all of our 574 employees. The bank has grown from 18 branches when I got there 8 years ago, to 30.

As much as I’ve had a good run and learned a ton, I will be hanging up my hat and heading to another bank where I have accepted a Marketing Manager Position equivalent to my bosses role at Salem Five. I can’t wait! Looking forward to the new role and spending more time with my kiddo. The hours and pay are much better!

My Life Lessons

What were the major life lessons and wisdom that you gained during your journey over the last 20 years?

Nuggets of wisdom I’ve learned: Mom was right.

Work hard, and be a good person and good things will happen to you.

Everything happens for a reason.

Even if we don’t understand it at the time, I have to believe there is some reason/bigger/grander plan.

Old clichés you hear as kids are true, the older you get the faster it goes! People weren’t kidding about that! Eh, what do the grown-ups know? Clearly a lot more than any kid ever thinks.

Don’t work for husband/wife companies unless you are family. As my co-worker told me, this is a family business and you ain’t family.

It’s not lonely at the top. Screw the asshole who said that (Jody).

The former president at Salem Five shared this golden nugget with me. One day when talking to him about character flaws, he said, “Karen, a person’s biggest flaw is often their greatest attribute.” I will never forget that.

Letter To My High School Self

If you could write your 18-year-old self (or however old you were when you graduated) a letter, and send it back in time, what would you say? What lessons or wisdom did you learn? What encouragement or warnings would you give yourself?

If I could leave advice for my 18-year-old self, I’d say:

#1, Mom taught me, don’t ever do anything to someone you wouldn’t want to be done to you—live by that wisdom and you can’t go wrong.

Treat people the way you want to be treated.

Be yourself—don’t let friends or family define who you are.

Believe in yourself and have confidence. If you aren’t there yet, fake it. Confidence comes with experience—it will come.

Tell the people you care about that you care.

Give someone, anyone, a hug daily.

Tell your family (particularly your children and your parents) that you are proud of them.

Live your life for yourself and no one else. You can’t please others if you aren’t pleased yourself.

The older you get the less time you’ll have for drama and bull. You don’t have to be involved. Don��t let it weigh on you, and just walk away.

Be kind and others will be kind to you.

Appreciate the little things and be true to yourself. At the end of the day, the only one you need to please is yourself.

Smile! It increases your face value.

Lastly, roll with the punches. When life serves you lemons, make lemonade and DON’T, I repeat DON’T, hang around with negative or bad influences. People tend to become what their friends are.

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  In the next post, I will wrap things up with Chapter 13.

Are you from Generation X? I want to hear what you think! Please comment below and participate in the conversation about What They Didn’t Teach Us Gen Xers In High School. What do you wish someone told you when you were eighteen?

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Life After High School: Interview with Karen Marie Chase Today’s interview with Karen Marie Chase is part of my ongoing blog-to-book project: Life After High School: