#bc ive heard its happened in like wwdits and tma and shit but i havent watched those so

[gemsofthegalaxy]

Also I talked about this in another post but it was a reblog of a sort of nicher post, and people don't always see the reblogged version of things SO i'm gonna say it again.

I can understand why Stede left Ed.

Especially with what the Badminton twin said to him, but it definitely has more to it than that. I think that interaction just solidified/named/emphasized some of Stede's fears, ones he was feeling since the moment Ed proposed running away- hell, probably the moment Ed yelled Act of Grace and got himself arrested for Stede.

From our perspective, Ed put everything on the line for Stede, we know that. We've seen Ed's journey, his boredom, the softness that he's tried so hard to cut away from himself & keep under wraps. We can see he adores Stede and we get the sense that this as a true fresh start and he's ready for it. Stede has seen some of this, too, though not every instance the way the audience has. There is still doubt, for him, that this is really what Ed wants.

And it makes sense he doubts Ed. Like, seriously, just a few days ago Ed was running off with Calico Jack, claiming "This is who I am, I am Blackbeard, I like to fuck around and cause chaos and hurt people for fun and I knew you wouldn't accept me like that" despite the fact Stede very much set a ship on fire for Ed not that long ago. Lol.

So, Stede is already in this sort of mindset that Ed wants to be Blackbeard. he likes being Blackbeard, Blackbeard is who he is. They had a mini breakup over it!

But now, a couple days later, Ed's come back and gotten arrested for Stede, he's given up that identity, the very one he said was truly himself and he wanted to lean into, and is offering to do that for good. It's huge, it's romantic, but honestly Stede seems hesitant even in that scene. I bet he's thinking Ed is going to realize he doesn't mean it and resent Stede for it. He doesn't think this is really what Ed wants (and I'm not sure how much Stede wants to run away forever, it's a romantic ideal but, if he does it, he can never go home to even see his kids, anything like that.)

Speaking of!

Stede has also felt immense guilt all season over leaving his wife and children. I don't think it's a "he loves Mary and wants to go back to her", I can see how Ed might think that if he were to find out, but it's made extremely clear in the show Stede doesn't love Mary, he just feels a duty to take care of her, to be the Aristocratic husband and father he was raised to be. So, going back to try to fulfill that duty isn't out of left field, it's been underlying the series the whole time, especially since he just learned that he's been declared dead. Yes, he's the one that left first, but it seems like he wasn't anticipating Mary to cut him off from the other end, declare him dead and be done with it. For one reason or another, he must have thought he would have the option of seeing his wife and kids again some day and I'm sure the idea of never, ever doing that, brought on so suddenly, was scary.

SO. Coupled with the fact I knew the show had an "Angsty end of season" ahead of time, when I heard Ed propose the idea and saw the look on Stede's face i was like "okay. yep." I wasn't surprised at all he decided not to leave with him.

But, at first, I didn't really get why. It seemed like the type of thing Stede would honestly love. He was craving the adventure enough to become a pirate, but honestly it sometimes seems like he could take or leave the violent aspect of it, he just wants to sail and have fun more than anything, but,

After thinking about it and considering the reasons above, I understand why he didn't go, why he would be honestly confused by Ed's proposal and really doubt whether it would work out long term, not to mention just get scared.... It's fucking painful, and I don't like that he hurt Ed in the end. But it makes sense, and it's built up over the whole season, I can't really be mad at him or Ed for the whole situation... which is ultimately brilliant and compelling writing and I really loved it, as much as it hurt.