#bc it's rlly good and they have these really specific programs i want

[vyl3tpwny]

do you have a preferred method to get vsts and other such instruments for a DAW?? im poor as heck and dont know ANYTHING about piracy, im so scared of getting goobered by people on the internet

i wish i knew more about the best go-to sites for pirating rn unfortunately i have no clue. ppl on the internet can have such shit intentions too so i dont even know where to look or who to ask. but also here's some free + VERY cheap things u may consider (below the break):

vital synth (i will always shill for vital bc i use it constantly and its free lol)

ob-xd synth (it says buy for $49, but the free download is on the left. the buy link is just a donate)

klanghelm plugins (all these are made by one dude. mjuc is a great vintage style compressor, the dc8c is a pretty featured compressor for the price, sdrr has a particularly nice tube saturation/distortion, and vumt is a great metering plugin, i have vumt on every single project since 2019)

analog obsession (if you donate $5 to their patreon you can get every single plugin they make. also all made and maintained by one person. lots of different things, so i recommend just downloading everything and exploring the functions of the plugins)

tokyo dawn labs (all very high quality mixing stuff. they have free versions of most of their premium stuff and they're quite featured despite being free. ez.)

kilohearts (they recently made all their main effects free. and if you want their flagship stuff, its all rent-to-own as well.)

sforzando (soundfont player. if you dont know what soundfonts are, theyre essentially really condensed, lightweight sampled instruments. they can often sound rlly cheap or tacky [which might be good, i definitely love that sound] but just install this and google [instrument] soundfont and just find lots of free instruments that way)

togu audio line (some free effects and instruments if you scroll down. but i also recommend TAL Sampler if you want a cool sampler and can afford it)

meldaproduction (has a free plugin suite. theres an annoying watermark at the bottom for free versions, but everyone understands. shit is expensive)

native instruments (they have the komplete start bundle which is just a bunch of free decent stuff)

musicradar FREE SAMPLES (ive sworn by a few of the sample resources that i've gotten from musicradar as far back as 2011 lol)

looperman FREE SAMPLES (looperman is a user-sourced sample website where ppl upload samples they've made* and you can just download and use them for free. sometimes people request specific credit, so check for that if you can. *NOTE: its very possible for people to upload unlicensed samples or stuff they didn't make so use your best judgement when sorting through stuff)

freesound FREE SAMPLES (freesound rules always reliable)

synth1 (AHHHH IM SO HAPPY I CAN RECOMMEND THIS RIGHT NOW!!!! synth1 used to be abandonware but was finally picked up again and is supported by modern systems once more. i used this religiously from 2013-2017. and i'm going to start using it again honestly)

valhalladsp (this is the only exclusively premium thing i'm going to leave in this thread [aside from bitwig, below], but it's just that god damn good. every plugin of theirs is $50, so if you can manage to go for ValhallaVintageVerb and/or ValhallaDelay you will basically never need another reverb/delay ever again; would recommend NOT pirating from them if you can help it bc theyre definitely a very small company but u know.. ur call)

bitwig (if you need a DAW, i can now heartily recommend Bitwig. it's on the rent to own program through splice if you're ok getting it legally...)

—

i know this isnt what u asked but i hope its still helpful. i've also rescinded my recommendations for spitfire audio bc the company was revealed to be run by a bunch of queerphobic knuckleheads. everything in this list i have personally used for my own music and can vouch for them from actual experience (YES even bitwig, i made the song "Futura" on Carousel exclusively with Bitwig, making it the first time i've made an entire song outside of Ableton since 2014).

again i hope this helps, forgive me for not knowing enough about pirating at the moment 😭 please make so much music and please look at this animal:

[helpleas]

Today was the most lovely of them all

Ok. ok it was crazy. first of all. the weather..... ohhh my god. beautiful. sunny. lovely. there was so much driving and cool breezes and giggling with glee and cute dogs and adventures and yummy snacks.

second of all. i had 2 first period spares which would usually mean i start class at 1:00pm BUT i accepted a slot to tour a family at 8:45 so i was there for that. this was my last tour of the year and i really put my all into it (it lasted AN HOUR) and i think the family actually liked me

while i was doing my tour my friend was sitting in the library and when i stopped in she lifted up her phone which read "do you want to go to tim's after this". im never one to decline a drive anywhere or coffee when i havent had breakfast. i got an apple fritter and a black iced coffee (bliss). BUT while we were there. who did i spot. but people doing fucking geomatics (the program i didnt apply to but got accepted to at waterloo) so we took a silly photo with them. then she drove me back to school and had to go to english :(

BUT she left me with our other friend who had a spare like i did. so since it was such a lovely day we skipped/ran all the way to the beltline and to the tree we discovered a couple weeks ago. sat and listened to music :)

then it was time to help our friends with their promposals. BUT there wasn't enough room in the car for everyone we needed so i climbed in the trunk. turns out i love the trunk. like a rollercoaster ride and fun and cozy and i loved it. also one of the dates hadn't ever been seen in person and was 10x hotter than photos. so amazing.

then when we got back the rest of my friends had spares and went to get boba soo i was totally bummed because i had to go to 3rd period. but when i got to 4th there was a bubble tea waiting for me (eeeeeeeek)

then i had to stay out of the house until after 5. so my friends and i went to sushi (i didnt get any bc im SKINT) so while we were sitting around waiting for a friend to get out of her ap bio exam. this rlly cute guy walked by. and 2/4 of us found him cute... but i was totally not there for that. so blah blah she tried to work up the courage to ask him out and stuff. when she finally did he had JUST walked away. but still cute good times.

so then our ap bio friend was starving and our other friend left so we all went to chipotle so me and ap bio friend could eat (used order ahead with family uber eats... very sneaky) absolutely scrumptious and i love that area of the city

+ the friend driving always rolls the windows down and my friend on aux has sublime music taste so it was just. so much fun

on the way to chipotle the 2 friends in front got the idea to go see challengers. 1 friend had already seen it but was determined to see it 3 times... so that comes up later

here i called my friend and had the funniest fucking conversation because everyone around me could only hear one half (you just woke up... oh no the dogs... chicken sandwiches... well tampon is #1..... no you don't have school tomorrow.... yeah no its next week now.... lucky i called you... the new season is out?!)

then after chipotle we drove down to the theatre and dropped one of us off along the way. and on the way there i rolled down my window to rest my head on it and look out and the wind was just so perfect and i felt so nice and i loved the song that was playing and it was just... yeahhhhhhh

also my friend called me asking to hang out on the way there and i just felt really loved

THEN OBVIOUSLY CHALLENGERS WAS AMAZING AND WHEN SHE GOES TO SEE IT FOR A 3RD TIME IM COMING. ALSO SHE BOUGHT MY TICKET BECAUSE AGAIN TOTALLY SKINT SO YIPPEE THATS A WIN. THANKS TO ALL MOM FRIENDS OUT THERE

then we listened to inhaler on the drive back to my place for some water (specifically these are the days which felt SO fitting). my friend was shuffling her favourite songs and one i showed her came up so. almost cried there. (She's a Jar- Wilco). We had been seeing really cute dogs all day because it was finally nice out enough and we saw the ultimate fluffiest friendliest dog on the drive back.

my step mom happened to arrive at the EXACT. SAME. TIME. and creepily followed us making spooky noises just to freak us out.

after a bit everyone went home but just. ugh. the day was so perfect and wonderful im like high on it. and i had to transcribe the entire thing.

[dongfangxunfeng]

hiii i know imposter syndrome is really difficult to deal with and obviously idk the specifics of ur situation but if u have a chance to apply for or accept the research position u should defo go for it!!! even if youre not perfect or spectacular right away youll learn lots, and itll be a new experience no matter what since u get to travel, and you can always find other things to take away from it even if the actual research position part doesnt work out exactly like u would want. if that makes sense..like ik it can be really scary and offputting but maybe u can try and think of additional benefits and upsides to going, and thatd make it feel like less pressure? either way love u mwah have a good evening!!

HII VAL WAH THANK U SM FOR THIS😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 this rlly made me feel sooo much better abt it bc its like. my program is not research/academic project oriented at alllll and so i do not feel qualified BUT. i wanna go soosososo bad :) love u too hope ur day is treating u well!!💞💞💞

[gayspock]

ok i finally have time im gonna watch part 2 at LAST

problemo number one. ive forgotten girlies' names. i remember starbuck, my friend starbuck. an DFUCKING GAIUS.. + boomer shes cute....

but i dont recall anyone else's NAME-names if you get me. just vibes

and i liked everyone i think smile so its like good vibes

also "jumping" COME ON. COME UP WITH A BETTER NAME. WARP FACTOR PUSSY. STARBUST. HYPERDRIVE. JUMPING? COME ON. NOT EVEN JUMPING AND POPPING? JOP OR KYS

yesss i knew the girlies would be alive. missus president and the son . theres no way they need to milk him for the drama.. APOLLO. i forgot his name. of course they called him apollo.

THE way gaius is just shaking like a tiny fucking puppydog. oh im going to kick him like a football. whilst he hallucinates a beautiful blonde woman in horror.

tyrol yes his name is tyrol. i love him hes my friendies.

woahi want a beautiful lady chip in my brain to torment me. dorito flavour please!

will this wee cunt be a recurring guy. the arms dealer. i think he'd be a funny addition to the girlies.

I ALSO LIKE THE OTHER GIRL. WHATS HER NAME. tyrol's little.... colleage ehrm. CALLY. SAYS GOOGLE. SMILE. shes so cute

AND BILLY. HES JUST FUCKING VIBING ISNT HE. COULD YOU EVEN IMAGINE.... bles- billy now why did you tell her that. im obsessed with you billy. violence. a bit of billy badness

also fucking hell, this is fucking . good heavens. ... sorry i realise im never discussing whats occurring in the episode im just like wow i li- CHILD DEATH. 😐...

anyway as i was saying like i do rlly like this so far HOWEVER both the vibe & the characters, i have to wonder... how many holdover to the main show hmmmm. im sooo curious

"didnt include a soul in programming" then what do you call the brave redditors on the advent of code sub, making the most bjeautiful visualisations

EVERYONE JUST NECKING IT ON

THE WAY GAIUS' EYES BOGGLED LIKE YEAH BILLYS GOT THE RIZZ YEAH HE DOES . THE FUCK YOU LOOKING AT. AND YOU TWO- WHY ARE YOU GETTING SLOPPY WITH THAT KID JUST STOOD THERE. HEAVENS ABOVE.

oh dear OH NOES

OH MISTER ADAMA LOOK OUT

GOOD HEAVENS

SO MUCH FOR THE CHEEKY LITTLE CRIMINAL IT SEEMS HES- oh good heavens well. to narrate the scene its . its like his head is an ikea kit and mister adama is trying to- oh goodness me

catgeroy 5 #girl event from mister adama (bludgeoned a cunt to death)

gaius is beyond a fucking menace im actually kind of crazy for it -the fucking... YOU CANT ATTACK A MAN IN A RUST COLOURED BLAZER, SILLY.

"lee" or "apollo" (VERY transmasc names btw) not telling his dad he was still alive (transmasc activity) is so me

him hugging his dad is so not me though

ALSO THE WAY GAIUS IS LIKE. ,.. THEYRE LIKE "rumour has it youre a genius" WHEN HES ALSO NOT DONE ANYTHING THIS WHOLE TIME LIKE I DONT DOUBT IT BUT ALSO HES JUST HAD THINGS HAPPEN TO HIM. LIKE... HES LIVING LIFE IN CRIT 1S AND NAT 20S.

ALSO THE WAY HES FUCKING . GETTING THIS GUY BC HE CAUGHT HIM GETTING HIS JOLLIES OFF TO A HALLUCINATION. GAG. AND THE WAY HES CONVINCING THESE GUYS IS JUST SAYING WHATEVER THE FUCK

also ONE criticism i have is im not sure how if eel about some of the music. some of it is so out of place its like kinda odd

"and i studIED PUBLIC RELATIONS!"

its such a big mistake to cross a girl in a statement blazer who studied public relations. you are so going to get your comeuppance for this.

i was about to comment on the cussing & i went to go look at tv tropes to see if there was a specific term for it and can i say tv trops are so funny i scrolled past and it said "gordon bennett" was made up for red dwarf and then underneath there's a note thats like"TRUTH IN TELEVISION. THIS IS USED IN THE UK." LIKE HELP PLEASE

anyway obviously #farscapeheads we cant really talk here but help. FRACK. OF ALL FUCKING WORDS. GOOD HEAVENS. WHAT THE FRICKITY FRACK IS GOING ON. THE

SO theyre going to try to... GO TO EARTH. HUH.

the implications of that.... ok

also YAAY FOR SOME KID. WOO. YIPPEE. LOVE IT WHEN THERES JUST SOME KID DICKING ABOUT THE MILITARY OPERATIONS.

bonus pointd when the kid is wearing a turtleneck. so sensible and smart

ALSO LEE. apollo. he seriously dors look like someone took the average tv boytoy from 2004 and got the mean average its so funny

i do love their slaggy little vests. theyre not like the standard ones that are already quite slaggy. its like theyre from plt's clearance sale

HI PUBLIC RELATIONS ARE YOU OKAY

oh my god he was acylon

WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT GAIUS. THE CRITS. THE NATS. PLEASE.

m

MY

MY GIRLY BOOOMERR? YOOOOOOOOOOOO

RIGHT

I KNOW THERE WAS A LOT OF MURDER BUT IM STARTING TO SIDE WITH THE CYLONS I DONT TRUST ANY OF YOU BITCHES WHAT

OKAY END OF EP SMILE i finished the mini series yaaayyyy

[cosmossystem]

on the friend skills thing; most of those things, even though they feel pretty big, shouldnt be too big of a deal? like with the stuff youd have to remember, if you add them on pretty much any messaging app theyre gonna have a name listen, alot even let you set nicknames or add notes so you could add their pronouns onto that. there is programs to track birthdays, along with pretty much any calendar thing (plus most friends will tell you like 2-3 days beforehand in my experience). friends of friends dont really matter until they become just friends, bc if a friend of friend is there they will probably be called their name atleast once by the shared friend. trying to analyze mannerisms & trying to say the right things are,, okay, fair, but to be honest you probably wont need to care about those past the first meeting because with good enough communication they dont rlly matter. like, if youre confused or wanna know if theyr upset you can just ask. if you cross or go close to a boundary theyll clarify it and then you can respect it moving forwards (also, if youre scared you wont remember, 1. thats fine, they can always state it again and you try again and 2. you could always keep notes on them, their interests, boundaries, etc). you can always reclarify a message or go 'nvm'. and also ive always heard the "be yourself!" advice, like uhh, dont over-salt yourself with trying to be normal and do the right thing in friendship, bc then all thats gonna attract is people who .. suck. idk where i was going with that metaphor. basically dont overpower 'you' with trying to do what others want. or something, idk. also yeah theres gonna be people who dont like you, and that sucks but what can ya do besides try again. also maybe check if theres any meetups around you? because even if you dont keep them as friends it still gets you around people! dont worry too much about having those as friends forever or whatever, just see them as a starting point.

this all sounds great in theory but doesn't actually help me. i was just mostly listing hypotheticals with things that make relationships more complicated to navigate. like i've never actually gotten far enough into a relationship to worry about birthdays except for once, and we were barely friends by the time their birthday rolled around, but i write down important details that i don't want to forget. or i would if there were any!!!

the problem is that every part of the process of actually getting to know someone sucks. you have to meet them and then you have to talk to them. i don't like talking and if i could, my entire life i would be mute. but sure let's start with the meeting:

i go out of my way to speak to people in meatspace. it usually doesn't work. like, i go to cons. i'll try to chat with people but most are already there with friends anyway and don't care. i mean no one wants to let anyone in their clique anymore. when i was younger i almost got adopted by a friendgroup because i was 14 and in cosplay but then no one spoke to me and my mom was just awkwardly standing like ten feet away and so we left. as for "going to meetups" that'd be great except i can't go anywhere because i can't drive yet, so i'm stuck dragging along a 50-year-old asshole with me everywhere and that scares people off. until i get to college that's my only option. (and guess what? when you have an abusive piece of shit parent, that parent doesn't want to leave you places alone. so even if i told her "hey drop me off here and return in two hours" she just won't.)

so i'm left to try to meet people online. that's harder than you think. if you try to meet people organically in your community, there's a bunch of barriers to it. on tumblr specifically even attempting to find people i could tolerate is hard. i block the weirdos but it doesn't leave many options (everyone has a dni these days, which is fine, but i'm usually on it somewhere.) and let's say i finally find someone. well i want to try sending asks but i have nothing to say. i already know "hey how are you?" won't get me anywhere and if i get someone in my dms the conversation eventually dies out.

i tried going onto other social medias but that just really means twitter because i don't understand how instagram works. when i was on tiktok, no one talks to each other and so that's a bust. on twitter there's a different Social Ecosystem (meaning more invisible rules i have to figure out. what the fuck do all of these abbreviations mean? i don't reply to anyone because it feels needlessly direct, but that's the only way people communicate on twitter, and if i DO reply i never get a reply back so i look crazy. etc) and be honest, everyone on twitter is more insane than here.

i don't do discords because every time i've been in a discord it's either way too busy to actually get to know anyone, someone starts some kind of drama, or i'm inevitably the odd one out because i don't talk as much. i thought group chats would be an easier way to socialize but it turns out i hate those too.

i don't feel like i'm really speaking to someone on the internet. it feels more like a magic box i type in and sometimes i get a response. i don't get attached to people both online or offline because i've never known someone for more than a few weeks/months and even people i see at cons all the time, that's only twice a year maybe and we never follow each other's socials because I Don't Have Any. yes i've made them no i don't use them insta sucks tt sucks no one has a twitter and no one remembers me.

and when i, finally, have enough good days and make it work for long enough to feel like i'm "friends" with someone (mind you i have never had a "best friend" or even known someone for longer than a few months) at some point, i will either miss a message for a day or two, then feel so bad about that that i give up on trying with them; or i manage to convince myself that they hate me.

it seems like the only way is to talk to someone directly and it sucks. i don't like it. i never get past the initial Polite Chit Chat portion. i don't know how to. and if i try, i inenvitably sabotage myself somehow or i ghost them or. i don't know. it just hasn't worked. i feel like every social interaction is a puzzle and everyone knows the answers except me. i want friends but i just don't care about people because i've never had a reason to care about people.

and i say all of this as i ignore maybe a dozen discord messages. because my social meter is shot. just totally drained. every time i write something i have to script it, that takes hours, it's draining, and so i section off a portion of my day to it but then i get a message back immediately and i'm already drained. i can't talk to people forever it's tiring to me i dread having to do it. but none of that matters because i don't message people back immediately, so they start to think i don't care about them. and maybe i don't.

ok i'm still sobbing and have more to say but. this is long enough. it's not proofread. bon appetit

cass

[wangkuans]

ventpost incoming!

im sorry to ventpost but talking to the guidance counselor at school has to entail an appointment first and the website doesn't offer the option for my program so . last time i just walked in but im not sure i can exactly do that again,,,

anyway this semester has really been kicking my ass and there's a lot of things that have been making me feel worse? being separated from my usual block and group of friends is rlly tough,, and adjusting to a new set of classmates is also difficult,, especially cause i try to talk to them but they dont always reciprocate the same energy. and they're not being mean at all, its just different and its been hard to adjust.

my org work has also been really tough lately,, not in the sense that ive been overly busy, but idk if im doing a good job lately, and its making me insanely anxious. i also dont rlly know once again where i stand with all my orgmates,, if we're just on friendly terms or if we're actually friends, and it makes it difficult to interact with them. its just making me anxious as hell

and theres a specific thing that has just. been making me go crazy but it sounds petulant and childish and i hate feeling or even thinking it but. all this time ive been overworking myself with org stuff bc i dont think im all that good at my chosen field, and i have to buff up my portfolio w all these extracurriculars. and after this semester we'll all have to get internships and iiii have been so anxious ab it, bc i dont know where to go, or if i'll get accepted to places, or what kind of places i should be applying for. and recently, we had a project where we had to speak to marketing teams of real estate places, and my friend got invited to intern for them and it just.

she absolutely deserves it and shes also been working hard,, but at the same time it feels like all this work was really for nothing, bc ive been trying so hard with everything, but i currently have no invitations to any place or anything. and it just feels like. ill just keep trying and trying like i have been my whole life, and none of it will be worth it, and all of it will be for nothing. im in an org that makes me anxious, in a position i didnt ask for or want, spending time doing things i cant really add to my portfolio, and it wasn't even for anything. it's been for nothing this whole time, and im really tired.

my prescription for my antidepressasnts are also almost up,,, and i have to set an appointment for that, but i feel anxious about renewing my prescription too. i think i want to maybe take half a pill instead of a full one, and hopefully it'll do me good. but i feel bad for still having to take it. and if eel bad for still struggling. i wish i had a good couple years, where i ddin't need it or therapy at all.

anyway thats all. its so !!!! but its okay. ill be okay!! never back down never give up and all that

[itsfloortimebabey]

no bc why is a brandnew goodquality drysuit literally 1000 dollars. hello

[awhst-alt]

I HAD THE BEST BYLER DREAM LAST NIGHT AND I REALLY WANNA SHARE IT WITH YOU ALL

it's so long (literally 2k words) so im gonna put it under the cut haha <3

so basically this would take place after mike and will start dating or something, idk exactly the time frame (i picture them being like 18 or something and this is the summer before college) and will goes to this summer arts program for like 2/3 months (i dunno how long american summer is but something like that) and its all the way far from home so there is dorms and stuff and he's "not in hawkins anymore" (no pun intended)

mike and will decide after will finishes his school they'd go to college together (cuz they're gonna be comic book artists together bc thats boyfriend shit) so throughout these months he's practically just waiting for will (<333333)

so one specific scene i remember from my dream involved will and mike getting off the bus to the school and then they hug and then mike grabs wills hand and brings him behind the bus and then he gives will a biggg kiss bc he won't be able to kiss him for 3 months. then they say they love each other and will gives him another quick kiss and is like "two kisses". they agree they'd call each other every day.

so will goes inside and mike goes back on the bus and goes home.

and basically the whole day is a whirl, until the end of it, in which mike is sitting in the kitchen near the phone waiting for like 3 hours for will to call, and will doesn't end up calling.

AND THEN IT GETS SPICYYYYY

so meanwhile at the arts program will asks like the front desk or something if he can call mike and they say phone is offlimits and they don't let him call mike

so then will goes to sleep and he's paranoid that he thinks mike is gonna hate him or something like that

mk than the next day in class there is this girl (they didn't reveal her name in the dream, ill call her stella) so stella is basically looking at will the entire class but will doesn't know it

so when they exit the class stella's like "hi" and will says "hi"

then stella says "i like your painting."

will is like rlly weirded out so he goes "thanks?"

"i um- hope this doesn't sound weird but i have no friends, do you want to be mine?"

"sure"

and then end of scene (this does not sound like a normal conversation but it's my dream so it doesn't have to make sense"

so BACK AT HAWKINS mike is still sleeping even tho it's like 3 pm because yk depressed boyfriend shit but then the PHONE RINGS and mike gets out of bed frantically and goes to the phone and he picks it up and is like "will?" and then it answers "it's el, idiot"

i feel like this is important for context but el speaks english very well now and hoppers back and she lives with hopper and not the byers anymore. ANYWAYS

el says "how's will?"

mike says "idk he didn't call"

"he didn't?"

"no, he didn't"

"okay. well maybe he will call later"

"yeah mb"

"wanna come over"

"ok"

so mike hangs up and gets changed and goes to el's house bc they r a couple o' besties and when he gets there it's like a therapy sessions bc mike usally talks to will every single day and he can't for like 3 months (unless will calls, but he's not going to) so he accepts he's gonna be depressed for 3 months and he's just talking to el about how he's gonna miss him so much and no be able to see his face and that shit

so el's like "well do u wanna do something to take ur mind off of him"

and mike's like "no im not gonna replace will" (I SCREAMED IN MY DREAM SRSLY)

but than el says "okay. guess im gonna go to the mall by myself" (ig starcourt is rebuilt by now)

and than mike bolts up and is like "fine"

"we can by something for will"

"okay yay"

so then they go to starcourt yasss!!

anyways back at the art school will is having lunch and stella is with he friends (even tho she said she doesn't have any friends) and one of her friends is like "omg did you see _____ he's so hot"

and another friend says "YESS! but ____ is cuter"

"what abt u stella? who do u have ur eyes on"

she says "byers" BUT NOOOOOOO WILL IS MIKES MAN

and they say "ew that kid who came back to life"

she says "yea. but he's cute, and shy, and once i wrap them around my finger i can get them to do anything"

so then she goes to sit down next to will at lunch

"hi will"

"hi"

"hru"

"im good"

"okay. good." and she gets upset because will goes ask how she is but she keeps her urging rage inside. and than they have this weird conversation and will is uncomfortable the whole time bc shes all like flirting with him and will is seeing someone obvi

but then she puts a hand on will's shoulder and he's shaking and then says something (idk what it is it wasn't explaining in my dream) then will stands up and runs to the bathroom. so he's just sitting in the stalls crying.

okay back at starcourt this part wasn't shown in my dream but im just gonna make up that mike and el go looking around starcourt for something for will (sort of like the mike/lucas/will montage where they were looking for stuff for el) and then i guess they find something for will and i don't have the slightest idea what they could have got for him BUT THEY GOT HIM SOMETHING GOOD

so mike's all happy but they'res still that depression inside of him lol

so fast forward a week, it really isn't explained but ill just make up that will still hasn't called mike, and he's super sad and all sleeping in but decides to look through his good ol binder full of will's drawings and in the arts school will and stella have a few more interactions im sure which are still very uncomfortable

okay so it's lunch again in the cafeteria and somehow will and stella are talking again but somehow it ends in stella kissing will and will like pulls away immediatley and is like "what is wrong with you!?"

and she says "what?"

"i'm seeing someone!"

"oh i uh- i didn't know."

the whole cafeteria is staring at them

so will's freaking out almost on the verge of a panic attack "idk what to do, he's gonna hate me and-"

"he?"

will has the look on his face like shit shit shit oh fuck no

"you're gay?"

"i-"

and will runs off once again. and everyone in the whole cafeteria knows that he's day and ofc with everybody being homophobic will knows it's not good at all bc everyone's gonna bully him

so then the next day he goes to class and the teacher is like "does anyone care to tell me where ___ is?" (it would be like a math question like 'where x is' but in art idkkk) and then the teacher calls on "will? can you tell me where ___ is?" and they'res a pause and then the teacher says "or perhaps you'd want to find your boyfriend instead?" (giving me anne with an e vibes prolly cuz i did a rewatch last weekend but i won't explain more in case some people haven't watched it but) anyways will stands up from his seat, everyone is looking at him, and he's shaking and so concerned but then he goes "fuck. you" badass will yeaaaa thats my boy

so then he runs out of the classroom and out of the school in a really cool montage way but then he realizes he's like 2 hours away from home but he runs and runs and he goes to a random bustop (it's not even garanteed if it takes him to hawkins but whatever) he gets on and tries to go back to hawkins.

and soon enough, he gets there, and immediatley goes to the wheelers because he needs to see mike and apologize for everything. so he's at the wheelers, and rings the doorbell, realizing he's still in his uniform lol but karen answers and mike is upstairs in his room sulking (i picture it would be 8 pm by now) so will asks for mike and karen calls mike. mike groans obviously because he doesn't know it's his boy, but he comes down, karen gets out of the way and as soon as he sees will they have a really big hug and it's super sweet and my heart UFHEIOSKA

mike says his usual "are you okay?" and mike is still confused as shit but will says "i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry" and mike says "you don't have to be sorry for anyrhing" but will says "ill explain"

so then they go to will's room, side-by-side on his bed and will starts explaining everything

(this is mostly improvised by me but it's still pretty similar to the dream)

"i hated it."

"the school?"

"yeah. there was no you, (mike blushes lmao), everything was terrible, i felt so lonely, they didn't let me call you-"

"what?"

"they said the phone was off limits. i wanted to talk to you so bad and i thought you'd hate me"

"i could never hate you, will, even if i tried." will smiles

"and then there was this girl, and she hit on me and i didn't know what to do bc i'd be the face of the school if i told her i was dating you and was gay and today she kissed me"

"WHAT"

"im sorry im sorry i didn't kiss back and i was so scared bc i never was in a relationship before and i was so scared it was considered cheating-"

and mike LAUGHSS

"what? mike? what's wrong?"

"if you don't do anything back, it's not considerd 'cheating'"

"oh. good. are you mad at me?"

"what? no! no never!" so mike opens his arms and says "come here" so will and mike hug or something like that and then mike says "do you need me to beat her up?"

and will says "you can't even beat eggs. besides, your noodle arms wouldn't be able to do harm to even a fly"

so mike laughs and says "i'm glad your home"

so will blurts "i cursed out a teacher"

"you? cursing?"

"yes."

"might have to start calling you a bad boy now"

will just smiles and says "i love you"

and mike says "i love you too"

AND THEN END AND IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF BC I LOVE THIS DREAM LIKE I CAN'T BELIEVE MY BRAIN THOUGHT OF THIS BUT IM OBSESSED

ALSO ONCE I FINISH WYBMFFAE ILL PROBABLY WRITE THIS INTO A FULL BLOWN FIC BUT AHIHFUSAH

edit: i have no idea what mike did with the present him and el bought for will but i guess they ended up giving it to him lol

[campyvillain]

ok i mentioned earlier that i wanted to make a fnaf au that sort of does it’s own thing and is it’s own beast entirely so I spent a few hours writing a few things down and here are the basic plot elements nd stuff!! fair warning tho it is REALLY long so that’s why the readmore is there

you play as a 2nd year college student whose on vacation with 6-7 of your friends who all go to different schools. ur all on vacation in ur small hometown around the midwest region of the us, none of the friends except for one is rlly worth noting (bc i’ve yet to rlly flesh them out)

it takes place in the modern era, around summertime, and right near the end of everyones vacation.

the one friend of note I mentioned is a guy called Lester Smith! He’s really into electronics and his dream job is to become something akin to an imagineer . you and him go way back but not in the good way. You used to bully him a lot in middle-high school for being the “weird kid” and ultimately fucked up his dreams. This is because at the end of senior year, there was a robotics competition you both partook in, both in different teams, and the reward for the winning team was a fully paid scholarship for the most prestigious stem school in the state. Lester would’ve won, but the only reason he didn’t is because YOU broke into his garage late at night and tampered w his robot so that it would fail and make him seem like he was inept at programming. That’s what happened, and YOU won the scholarship instead. This was a massive blow to Lesters hopes as his parents weren’t able to pay for a proper college for him and his grades in other areas weren’t that good so he just goes to a community college now. since then you and him have became friends as he mostly seems to be on good terms w it and doesn’t SEEM to be onto you for what you did to him. you two like to talk about animatronics a lot and it’s apparent that he’s probably way smarter than you and that he probably deserved that scholarship way more than you do.

also none of your friends are accquantinced with Lester, you only just introduced them to him over break, and they seem to be getting along well. For now

thankfully for Lester his luck has turned around, he’s been showcasing these new entertainment animatronics he’s worked years on to multiple restaurant chains but they’ve all wanted nothing to do with his project because of Lester’s lack of any sort of resume etc. it all seemed doomed to fail until this local restaurant called Freddy’s (which genuinely is not affiliated with the Freddy Fazbear company because....the Fazbear company does not exist in this universe!!! it ditches the canon ALTOGETHER. the place the plot takes place in is just called Freddy’s for continuity purposes and to keep the name of the franchise) humored his offer and took him up on it. probably because the company is losing money each day and is likely only doing this so it can bring customers in and not be bankrupt

OH YEAH ALSO Freddy’s is given the funding to go thru with the animatronics initiative from an anonymous angel investor which has also allowed them to expand it and be relatively financially well off and has allowed Lester to make more animatronics and expand the place! so that’s fun

the hypothetical game takes place thruout the week-long testing period for the animatronic prototypes and the restaurants renovations are nearly done and they also need extra night guards to make sure everything goes smoothly. so you and your friends all decide to pool in and help Lester with the testing week by all becoming night guards and working together at the same time since it’s your last week together and you have nothing else to really do plus you could use the extra money but YAY!!!! FRIEND MOMENCE

Throughout the hypothetical game Lester who is also a nightguard serves as your phone guy stand-in. He calls every night to chat with you and the others, telling you about tips and tricks to make sure the animatronics work as intended, goofing off with you, infodumping about his cool robots, being a pretty neat dude and having fun. it’s so cool.

as mentioned before it ditches the series standard 5 canonical night format and goes with a full week of 7 canonical nights instead. the first night is relatively tame but as it goes on the other nightguards (who are your friends) start disappearing one by one....aka they’re being KILLED by the animatronics. you can’t really know this is happening at first because all your friends have made it clear they have to go back home on different days, and your friends disappear on the days they’re set to leave home so nothing seems amiss at first because you, and everyone else who’s still left, just thinks they headed back home like they said they would, which Lester assures you is what’s going on. but eventually in the last 2 nights you and Lester are the only ones left and it becomes apparent that your friends, or rather what remains of them, never got out at all.

remember how i said that Lester serves as the phone guy stand in and how he helped you with the animatronics? turns out a lot of the advice he fed you through calls actually ended up aiding him in killing all your friends, and technically you’re sort of to blame for why they’re not around. 50% of the advice he’s given you ends up hurting your friends and making the animatronics go after them.

plot twist! Lester is fully aware that you ruined his life at that robotics competition and as soon as he got home from it he could tell that someone, specifically you, tampered with his robot, and has been planning to brutally get back at you for years and is incredibly jealous and spiteful toward you for obvious and... pretty justifiable reasons, all things considered

on the 7th night Lester locks both you and himself in Freddy’s with no way for either of you to escape. he’s then killed by one of the animatronics and that animatronic, now possessed with his soul and with his consciousness stored inside, chases after you and tries to kill you. this is along with the other animatronics, who are now all haunted by your dead besties who died on the previous nights, partially controlled by Lester and enraged that you let them die. you spend the rest of the night evading them, but in the last few hours they all combine together into a single animatronic who is entirely controlled by Lester and goes after you even MORE and the difficulty ofc ramps up to 100.

the only way to beat the night is by going into the secret storage room and grabbing all the fireworks that you and your friends were going to set off on your last night together as a group on break - which is like, a lot of fireworks - but had to cancel due to bad weather (which was the 2nd night of the game, right around when ppl were disappearing) and luring the Mega monster animatronic to it and setting it off, destroying Freddy’s and everything in it. wether ur player character also dies in this explosion is up to ur interpretation and their fate is left ambiguous as the Newspaper Article(tm) published after night 7 states that you simply “disappeared” and doesn’t elaborate on if ur alive or not.

so yeah!!! that’s the basic plot and backstory of my fnaf au. i’ve always thought it would be really cool if there was a fnaf game based off the slasher genre (w Lester being the slasher-type villain here), that concept has always worked rlly well in my mind nd i gotta say i’m having SO much fun workshopping it. i’ll get to designing the characters and the animatronics REAL soon and i’m definitely gonna have a ball w those aspects. i’ll also probably find a name for it other than “MY FUNNY FNAF AU” so that’s cool. ok i’m done rambling im so excited to flesh this out byeeee ^^

[hiimsociallyawkward]

Dear Lara Jean,

HI. so i watched TATBILB: A&F a few weeks ago, and I have some words. Before I begin, i'd like to preface that i'm literally 17 and have no film experience, and that I've read this book once maybe 4 years ago but here it is.

ps. if you haven't gotten it already: there will be spoilers. Heavy spoilers.

first of all, i'm sorry but i really didn't like the little edit things. Maybe I've reached that point in my life where I don't f with that anymore. Like when theres a drawn house and it slowly fades so it's real life?? no thanks

the music choice... I honestly didn't have that big of a problem with it, but my korean friend kept going "wtf is this music choice" so i'm quoting her on that.

the filming and editing. well maybe it's just me but I didn't really like it. yk when you're watching a youtuber and they do those zoom in things and it's sort of fast and funny? I think there were a few times the movie did that and i didn't like it.

literally, lara jean looking directly into the camera?? it feels like it's breaking the 4th wall and maybe they're doing it to be edgy but no thanks i didn't like that either.

WHY???? Her breaking the 4th wall added NOTHING to the movie. It just took me out of the experience. I especially didn’t like it when they did it in PS I still love you when they temporarily broke up.

THEY SET THE MOVIE IN OREGON. WHAT WAS THE REASON. THE BOOK WAS SET IN VA, AND I LIVE IN VA SO I FELT A CONNECTION TO THE BOOK. AND THEN THEY GO AND SET IT IN OREGON. WHAT. WAS. THE. REASON

OREGON DIDN’T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING WITH THE COLLEGES. THEY’RE STILL PRETTY FAR AWAY FROM STANFORD. IN THE BOOK, UVA WAS CLOSE BY SO LJ WOULDN’T HAVE TO BE TOO FAR AWAY FROM HOME. NO OFFENSE TO THE STATE BUT WHY OREGON. THEY COULD OF PUT THEM IN CALI AT LEAST

ONE OF THE REASONS WHY LJ WANTED TO GO TO UVA IS BECAUSE HER FAMILY WOULD BE CLOSE BY. BY PUTTING THEM IN OREGON, YOU TAKE AWAY THAT REASON. i just want to 👊 whoever’s idea this was

FURTHERMORE: THEY CHANGED UVA AND UNC TO STANFORD AND NYU. I AM INFURIATED. THE WHOLE POINT WAS THAT THEY WANTED TO GO TO UVA BECAUSE IT WAS LIKE 10 MINS FROM WHERE THEY LIVED AND IT'S A STATE SCHOOL. LARA JEAN FELT LIKE THE WAS GAURANTEED TO GO TO UVA AND WHEN SHE DOESNT, IT ACTUALLY HURTS THE READERS.

in the book, LJ was waitlisted from UNC, rejected from UVA, and accepted to W&M. I’m sure you can find like 40 people at our school who can relate to this situation. I doubt 40 people in our school can relate to being rejected from Stanford BUT accepted to NYU. dear writers, please give teens across the nation (your target audience) realistic expectations for college admissions.

YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT PETER AND LARA JEAN WERE ACTUALLY QUALFIED ENOUGH FOR STANFORD. LEMME JUST SAY, I'VE APPLIED FOR COLLEGES THIS YEAR AND I FEEL LIKE I HAVE A PRETTY GOOD GRASP ON WHAT IT TAKES TO GET INTO CERTAIN COLLEGES. YOU'RE TELLING ME THE TWO OF THEM. REALLY. GOT. INTO. THOSE. SCHOOLS. pls.

DON’T GET ME STARTED ON THE KISSING BOOTH. ELLE AND NOAH ARE POSSIBLY THE DUMBEST CHARACTERS I HAVE EVER WATCHED. I DON’T SEE THEM DO A PAGE OF HOMEWORK AND I DON’T EVEN THINK THEY ATTEND CLASS. LIKE MAKING A KISSING BOOTH FOR ONE FUNDRAISER FOR A CLUB THAT CONSISTS OF 2 PEOPLE DOES NOT COUNT AS ENOUGH TO GET INTO HARVARD. but that’s a different movie...

this is literally the idea that television and movies have in making it super easy to get into ivy leauges. as if some in state college isn't up to society's standards of where or where not it's ok to go to college. it's when gabriella montez goes to stanford, troy goes to berkely, ryan evan goes to julliard, teddy duncan goes to yale, cody martin is accepted to princeton, HANNAH MONTANA does to stanford.

and lara jean wants to study english lit. she never says “i want to go to stanford because of their great english lit program”. it’s only “i want to go to stanford because my boyfriend is going and i have no other life outside of him

fine. make your characters seem awesome by making them go to awesome colleges. but still. this is upseting.

you know how awesome it is to hear UVA, the college I've always wanted to go to, in a published book? and for them to just rip it away- espeically when UVA is so attainable?? Yea yea movie directors, i get it, UVA isn't good enough for you. whatever.

They had AT LEAST 5 MONTAGES. 5. FIVE. WHO NEEDS THAT MANY MONTAGES. To quote my friend "the movie is all montage and 30 mins of plot" AND I CAN'T FIND IT IN MYSELF TO DISAGREE WITH HER.

AND THE DANCES. I REALLY DIDN’T NEED TO SEE NOAH CENTINEO DO WHATEVER HE CALLS “DANCING” IN 2 MONTAGES. I know everyone fell in love with noah in the first movie, but i’m pretty sure everyone fell out of love with him in this one.

again, i know nothing about movies, but 5 montages?? it seems like you're just filling space and trying to make everything seem ✨awesome✨ and ✨amazing✨. SURE. everything might be awesome and amazing, but this movie was 1 HR AND 55 MINS. and you decided to add 1 HR of montages? WHy. AND. one of them was in slowmo. i can't

THEY HAD VOICE OVERS THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE MOVIE. sure. 1 at the begin and 1 at the end, I think that's cute. BUT THE WHOLE MOVIE?? WHY. like bruh- have a focus.

literally did anyone read the freaking book? Remember how- in the book right? Margot was actually really not ok with Trina bc she's sort of replacing their mom? and Margot is rlly not ok with it but gets over it?? see how that was summarized in like 5 seconds in the movie? Oh i'm sorry you used all your time for the movie making STUPID MONTAGES but can we get some actually emotionally beats next time?? thanks.

ok this is a big problem i have with the movie. in the 3rd book, peter tries to have a relationship with his dad who ran away from him years ago. He struggles with that relationship the whole book. This is good stuff. people can relate to this. the scene in the diner where peter “confronts” his dad was CRINGEY. It could be noah’s acting but i couldn’t take him seriously. AND HE FORGIVES HIS DAD AFTER 30 SECONDS. the movie tries to include these smaller storylines but can’t because of the time limit. i’m no screenwriter, but i’m sure there could have been a way to subtly move that plot line during the entire movie rather than that one conversation in the diner

and in the book, peter has to train for lacrosse so he has to eat healthy which stresses him out. i specifically remember him getting mad at someone (maybe it was john ambrose, i don’t remember fully) for EATING HIS CARROTS. this just shows that peter has a life too. he has to worry about lacrosse along with losing lj. but no, the movie makes him look like the perfect boyfriend who has no other worries in life except for the girl in front of him

remember how- in the book (right?? bc they had a book to go off of???) Stormy was a part of the 3rd book? like a BIG part?? They LITEALLY just used her as John Ambrose's grandmother (WHICH IM PRETTY SURE THEY DIDN'T EVEN DO IN THE MOVIES). literally, stormy and john ambrose were throw away characters in the second movie and i am infurriated. BUT ALSO I LOVE JOHN AMBROSE HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO HIM??

and remember, how in the book, how the dog's name is "Jamie Fox-Pickle" and they changed it to HENRY??? where is the flavor. what was the reason. SERIOUSLY.

BUT ALSO. CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG BUT THERE WAS A POINT IN THE PLOT WHERE PETER'S MOM TOLD LARA JEAN TO BREAK UP WITH PETER. DOES NO ONE ELSE REMEBER THAT?? AND THEY CUT IT ALL OUT OF THE SCRIPT?? LIKE WHY. WHAT WAS THE REASON.

ok those are my biggest book grievances I think. but lemme just say, they NEVER went to NEW YORK. They literally wrote that in for the purposes of NYU. in the book, Chris and Lara Jean DRIVE to UNC because that's ATTAINABLE. BC THEY'RE STATE UNIVERSITIES. ANYWAYS

LJ’s and Chris’s spontaneous trip to unc showed their friendship in a good way. I never really liked chris as a friend to lj but during the trip, they are besties and it shows. the movie tries to do that in ny but peter is also in ny for some reason. she should have fell in love with ny WITHOUT peter at her side nagging her to sneak out and go on a date. she should have spent more time with chris rather than thinking about peter while she was watching the band.

the scene where Lara Jean is in New York and at the party and she sees the band? To all the boys I've loved before: Always and forever?? more like To all the boys I've loved before: gay awakening time.

when they moved the pink couch to the subway? WHy? They wanted snazzy pics.

when Lara Jean and Peter were making up and it was a really cute sequence AND THEN THEY MADE HER LOSE HER V CARD. FINE. I GET HOW THAT'S REALISTIC BUT IT WAS A CUTE SCENE. MY FRIEND ALMOST STARTED CRYING AND THEN LJ LOST HER V CARD AND WE COULDN'T STOP SCREAMING.

this is different from what was in the book (for the 100th time). In the book, they don’t do it and it shows that you can be in a high school relationship without being physical. I strongly appreciate that message. This darn movie had to have her lose her v card. WHY. IT ADDED NOTHING TO THEIR RELATIONSHIP. THE YEARBOOK SIGNING WAS SYMBOLIC ENOUGH

the montage where it's a montage of all of lara jean's and peter's cute moments?? ok fine. that was cute. but they literally just took scenes from past movies. imagine the impact if we like hidden moments from their relationships. maybe they're laughing in the car together. maybe they're watching they sunset. maybe peter is looking at her lovingly while she sleeps. WHAT IF. it WASN'T a montage of all the "bigger" moments of their relationship, and we got to see them just exist.

UGH. THE VOICE OVER AT THE END OF THE MOVIE IS SO CRINGEY I CAN'T

"WE AREN'T LIKE OTHER COUPLES. NOT US, LARA JEAN AND PETER KAVINSKY. BECAUSE WE HAVE SOMETHING BETWEEN US. WRITING LOVE LETTERS" please. b freaking s

Some redeemable qualities

while i didn't like most of the songs, "like me better" by lauv will always be loved. especially since it's a call back from the first movie?? I can ftw

WHY WASN’T “LIKE ME BETTER” THEIR SONG???? I really thought it was a good song to be their song and they referenced it in the beginning. No offense to the “beginning middle and end” people, but i felt no attachment to that song.

they customized her phone. it looked like it was a 7 (idk rlly, i don't know crap abt iphones) but they customized it. Granted, I KNOW lara jean would be the one with the aesthetic background with color coded folder, but still- they did give her relevant apps. some to note include; tiktok, spotify, instagram, netflix, notes, messages, facetime, maps, whatsapp and the STANFORD APP?? whatever- i'm chill.

they did make lara jean make choices so that was good.

the prom ask?? That was cute. with the pancakes??

at the end when Peter played the song even though earlier he didn't like it?? I liked that. i liked that a lot. ok fine i more than liked that a lot. There are multiple texts where my friends are screaming at each other. In fact, 26 separate messages.

chris in general. granted, she was more present in the books, but i'll take what i can get.

some notable quotes by her, the queen

"I'm dead inside"

not wanting to do a gigantic walk down from the stairs and asking the boys not to turn around

peter said he liked lara jean's forehead kisses and that reminded me of emma chamberlain so that's a positive only bc of emma

I remembered that they were the class of 2021, and I'M class of 2021 and it just hit for a second.

my friend cried over their graduation but i felt nothing bc we're literally living in a pandemic and chances of me getting a real graduation?? we'll see

again, these are all just my opinion. my friend doesn't like the movie bc she says she's sad and bitter and seeing these cute couples makes her feel lonely but i'm just diappointed. the books were GOOD. they were gold.

there was so much they could’ve done with the movies, and i just feel like they didn’t deliver on anything. Jenny Han, i’m sorry. The movie overall, ik someone who cried about it and someone else who gave it 7/10. props for them but jeez i just wish for more.

ok but that’s the show folk. i mean, obviously everything i said was opinion and literally don’t listen to anything i’ve said. BUT. feel free to add what you hated or loved abt the movie too. thanks. i love you guys. “always and forever” :,)

p.s- omg not them ripping off taylor swift. jk jk. ok bye

[hyperfixationtimego]

Happy little hcs to atone for my sins

Taka and Hina are study buddies

Sometimes Aoi manages to get Taka off track because she’s just so enthusiastic and wants to hear about all of her friends’ hyperfixations and special interests

37.2 minutes later

Taka’s infodumping about how he despises moral philosophy but also thoroughly enjoys it bc that’s how moral philosophers are

Or he’s infodumping about political science and debate tactics and how speeches were effective or not for various reasons

Sakura and Mondo work out together

It started off as a coincidence when they were in the gym at the same time but it kept happening so they called it a schedule

They talk about their SOs and they’re smiling

Sakura teaches Mondo certain stretches and exercises to help relax different muscle groups for whenever he pulls a muscle or has a flare up from the thing with the bikes

Leon constantly asks Chihiro to turn alter ego into a vocaloid or at least program a bit of that tech into their system

Bc he would rather shave his head again than talk to Sayaka about producing music

He just has so many ideas

And it’s cool when there are kinda punk rock songs that are covered in an 8-bit or a vocaloid style

Byakuya and Celeste have a small series of bets with low stakes about what their inferiors classmates will do to lead up to them jingling away morosely like the fools they are

Sayaka shamelessly advertises her group’s mercy to her classmates and friends

Everyone gets their nails painted at some point

Nobody knows how Byakuya got roped into it but it worked

Makoto has rainbow loom

Atua forgives you

anyway YEAH LEGIT?

Hina has fully and thoroughly fallen in love with all of her friends and classmates’ expressions whenever they’re talking about something that excites them omg 🥺

she sees someone rambling and having a good time and hears the enthusiastic pitch of their voice as well as the general Vibe™️ that they’re giving off and she just???? [Y E A R N]

:)

and also just???? her and taka being study buddies is so valid oh my god??? they’re really close because of it!!! And Taka always loves hanging out with her because he knows she’ll let him just Talk??? and he adores that about her????? And she’ll be ENGAGED which!!!!!! oh my god!!!!?????

hi in this house we love and adore hina

And Sakura and Mondo???? absolutely?????

they have friendly competitions over who can lift the most weights/do the most reps/etc. (they do it sparingly, ofc! bc Sakura at least knows that they’ll both be subconsciously trying to beat the other as opposed to listening to what their bodies need in the moment. Sakura is the single braincell of class 78 no I won’t take it back because it’s true)

and they totally doooooo like they both get such cute loveydovey pining expressions whenever it’s Their Turn™️ to discuss the latest cute thing their partner(s) did. and listening to the other talking???? oh my god it’s literally the neatest thing????

Sakura looking at Mondo: I would die for this man

Mondo looking at Sakura: this woman is literally beauty and perfection in human form

THEY’RE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS OKAY???

also chihiro joins them for training sometimes!!!! She obviously isn’t able to do as much as the other two are, but both Sakura and Mondo are always so proud of her progress??? They’re like “you are so cool and strong do you know that??? you better know that”

and speaking of chihiro hdbdvdvdvdvdvdvdvd on GOD Leon will Not leave them alone abt it and they’re just like

“y....you do NOT have the attention span,.......you’re gonna get frustrated within like the first five minutes......and then I’ll have done all that work for nothing..............”

but Leon’s >:( no I won’t!!!! music is my Passion!!!!!!!!

so it’s like *sigh* okay

and anyway leon genuinely does rlly like it???? like he gets burned out very easily and can only compose things in short bursts, but he’s always so so so proud of the finished products??? (Even if nobody else likes it but shush 😌)

and it makes chihiro :D to know that something she made (even if it was done with reluctance) has brought one of her closest friends so much happiness????? she’s also like good for Leon but also if he ever bothers them about something like that again they are Literally Going to Snap but that’s another story for another day vwv

AND YEAH LIKE. HE DOESN’T MIND TALKING TO HER ABT MUSIC IN GENERAL BECAUSE IT’S AN INTEREST THEY SHARE (quite possibly one of the only times they will have a conversation without one constantly insulting the other ❤️) BUT. ADMITTING TO HER THAT HE NEEDS HELP WITH IT IS THE WORST HE HATES IT HE HATES IT HSBDBSBD

god okay so. his first impression of her when they had just come to hope’s peak and met for the first time was “oh my god!!! she’s a pop idol!!! so she must know a lot about music!!! maybe she’ll help me become a popular musician!!!” and her immediate reaction when she first heard him ask was to literally roll her eyes and he was like oh okay fuck her actually

and then slow burn enemies-to-friends 💛

WHEBDVSVS CELESTE AND BYAKUYA JUST BEING RICH ASSHOLES IS SO FUNNY??? LIKE THEY HAVE WEALTH SOLIDARITY AND THEY ACT ALMOST LIKE alright your status makes you worthy of my time, I suppose-

they’ve had bets on everything from how many times kirigiri will pass out from exhaustion by the end of the school day, to how long it’ll take before Kirumi finally Loses Her Shit, to how many people will be harmed by Komaeda’s luck while hanging out with him.

Mfs about to die smh

and dhdbwvwbsvwvwb yeah like??? sometimes a normal conversation with maizono will turn into her being like “yeah, and by the way, if you’re looking for a change of style and wardrobe, you should check out the newest shirt my band just released as part of our merch drop, and-”

Makoto is the one who gets baited into her merch ads most often sndbsbsbdbdbw

even mentioning the word “merch” around Leon or Kaz will earn her a lot of groaning and sighing, and occasionally a pillow or other soft object being hurled at her face 💛

oh my god they all have a manicure spa day,,,,,,,class bonding 🥺

hdbdvdvdv they got Jill to break into his dorm and kidnap him ngl like the specifics they gave her were something along the lines of “use as much force as you need to without killing him” and she was like “DONE”

and okay I’m not gonna talk abt everyone’s nails but now I’m thinking about it and like-

Sayaka gets like a lighter violet background with gold and white stars smattered around them, more concentrated in some areas than others, and it’s generally very pretty 🥺

chihiro’s are a different solid pastel color on each finger!!! it’s very kidcore and fun and they love it so muchhhh!!!

leon gets a little self-conscious when it’s his turn because his nails are highkey disgusting from all the time he spends playing baseball - there’s dirt trapped under them and everything so he’s just like hhhhhhh anxiety go brrrr but anyway he gets solid black because he’s edgy and cool like that 😎

I think Taka gets a French manicure with little dark red flowers pressed towards the tips because!!! simple yet pretty!!!

Celeste probably takes the longest because her request is sooooo complicated like it’s black and red and long ass acrylics with overlapping patterns and everyone else just kinda sits there feeling h o r r i b l e for that poor nail stylist

Toko gets a checkerboard pattern, with each nail having a different neon color in place of white!!! Because she knows that Jill will find it cool and pretty and colorful the next time she fronts (visual stimming jill?? 👀)

Togami just picks whatever will get him out of the chair quickest hdbsvdvdvdbdbdb

anyway Makoto????? rainbow loom????? absolutely

he has so many bracelets!!!!! so many so many so many and he knows how to create such a wide variety of styles it’s so cool!!!!!! he wears a bunch of them at any given time because they are so fun to fidget with!!!! and rubber texture hvvvvhvv!!!!

and he creates personalized ones for his friends, too, like he knows their favorite colors and sometimes picks up on whether they prefer a certain style or not from the way they react to the other ones he’s made and it’s!!! just so neat!!!!!

I’m thinking about it and!!! he has a bi pride fishtail, a trans pride arrow stitch, a black and neon green railroad, a pastel pink/blue/purple/yellow ladder, a jelly yellow and green dragon scale, a rainbow double cross, and a bunch more!!! he also has a bunch with charms and beads added into them!!!!

He also makes them for his friends even if he knows they won’t wear them!! Like Toko, for example, isn’t the biggest fan of jewelry because she doesn’t like the texture, but he creates one for her anyway and fills it with so much love (it looks like a daisy chain!!!! because at least she’ll be able to look at it and hold it and still be interested in it without it needing to be on her wrist!!!)

he makes a ton of bright colored ones for Mukuro (usually either single or inverted fishtail because he knows she wouldn’t enjoy wearing anything too heavy or overbearing) so that she has more mobile visual stims!!!

similar for Jill!! although most of hers tend to be black and bright neon rainbow in various bulkier styles!!!! Jill will also force him to let her look at his bracelet-covered arm whenever they hang out because. my god,,,,,,so many Colors™️

he’s found that togami prefers black and white simpler styles, and that Kyoko absolutely adores singles, fishtails, and double fishtails in any shade of purple, and that Mondo likes any of the larger styles in darker colors + blacks and grays!!! Chihiro loves anything with jelly and glitter bands!!!

Leon usually only wears one at a time, but he cycles through every single one that his boyfriend’s ever made for him because????? GOD they’re so cool and his boyfriend is so crafty and incredible and just,,,,,,,,,hvvvhvv every time he looks at the one he’s wearing he’s able to calm himself down and remember that Makoto loves him........it’s also very good for stim and fidgeting <3

anyways sorry yes Makoto with a rainbow loom is filling me with serotonin and it’s canon now

[hee-blee-art]

your one of a lot of artist that inspired me to try digital again but bro do you have any advice digital is so hard im dyin lol

oh hell yeah I feel the best thing like I can do as an artist is encourage other people to make art! the world needs more art!! if you see this and want to make art plz do

as for advice, my digital methods r a bit unconventional bc my nd brain has kept me using the same free app for digital art for abt 8 years, but I think that's taught me that you def don't need specific/expensive equipment or programs to do digital art! dedicated drawing tablets and photoshop/illustrator/etc do have benefits and r better for certain ppl but you can make digital art on literally any screen you've got, I've used a variety of super cheap tablets over the years as well as my phone and laptop trackpad to draw. it's rlly just about taking what you have and finding something comfortable for you

something I would very much encourage ppl starting out/trying to get into digital art to do is to fool around in ms paint! I absolutely love ms paint, and since getting back to using it and just doodling and having fun and not caring so much about being precise or on model or w/e my art has improved overall and I have a lot more fun creating which I think is important. that same sort of mindset is really helpful for art in general; no matter what kind of art you wanna make, I think it can be very helpful to find an outlet to be experimental/loose/silly and just have fun in

one bit of real advice I'd give to to take frequent breaks to stand up and move around, stretch your arms and hands (there are tutorials specifically for digital artists u can look up), and try to actively make good posture habits, bc those things definitely r good for u & by extension yr art (if you're nd like me and hyperfocus it can help to set alarms/timers for stretching/etc)

not sure if that's what you were looking for but I hope that helps in some way! all the best to u and yrs, I rlly hope to encounter some of yr digital art!

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 19

it’s 2021 now!! time for more transformers 

we start off w/a flashback showing tyrest retrieving ultra magnus’s body from the ship - and we get a look at magnus’s spark, which is the green color of a 0.1%er [eyes emoji]

tyrest punching magnus..... grrrrr leave my dad alone bastard man

‘the divided self’ what a good title 

rodimus is like listen man this is a lot for my poor thot brain to take in

in flashback land, we see tyrest immediately launch into a crazy person spiel about how he can and will edit the law as he sees fit to conform to the situation, because that doesn't seem like a blatant abuse of power or a huge conflict of interest or anything 

oooh the screen in the corner that says ‘thought warfare,’ I see that

oof, poor magnus. its gotta be rough to hear your boss rant about how bad at your job you are....especially bc this is right after overlord called magnus a joke and nearly killed him

its especially brutal bc as magnus says, his job is his life 

augh, I love the panel where the armor is falling off around minimus, and then the one where he’s holding the ultra magnus head...poetic 

its fascinating that there was an ‘original’ magnus who was an actual guy, and then tyrest chose to make him into this legacy symbol - I'm assuming the OG magnus had no say in this, and probably didn't even know that he was gonna become this lawman legacy figure

I do wanna know though - obviously everyone thought that ultra magnus was one dude, but how did the different guys wearing the armor deal w/that? like, did minimus have people coming up to him like ‘hey ultra magnus old buddy! remember when we fought those guys in that one place? good times!’ like, do they have to study up on the lives of the past armor wearers to prepare for the role of ultra magnus?

augh poor minimus, of course he’s been wondering about what happened with overlord after he was KO’d

oof, drift...I feel like minimus looks surprised and a little skeptical at the idea that drift was the one behind the entire overlord thing - which is interesting bc as we saw at the beginning of the story, he doesn't exactly trust drift, but it’s still pretty far-fetched that one person orchestrated the entire thing

tailgate :(

the concept of a load-bearer is SUPER cool, I love it so much

it also puts a much-needed limit on things - as in, there IS a limit to how much weight/mass a normal cybertronian frame can carry, which is why you don't see everybody upgrading to be Massive - bc they actually CANT

oof, the worst part is that tyrest is RIGHT, minimus essentially DID have a nervous breakdown after the war ended bc of the rigid way he views the world

mental health support is clearly in shambles for cybertronians, yikes. they literally have 1 therapist for their entire race, and he’s not even licensed anymore due to hipaa violations. what a mess

the ‘attention deflectors’ thing is so cool and clever and also a great explanation as to why ratchet or anyone else never said ‘hey wait a minute, you're actually a much smaller dude in a trench coat’ 

I love tailgate knowing all the stuff about the autobot code bc of magnus...my BOY

and THATS why minimus was asking about skids specifically earlier!

oh minimus, please don't put so much stock in tyrest being stable and resonable...

aaaand there's skids and swerve! brainstorm says it best - ‘because something unexpected hasn't happened for at least nine seconds.’ lmao ily brainstorm 

finally checking in w/whirl and cyclonus - god I love that. whirl asking cyclonus how many cons he killed and cyc is like psh I wasn't keeping count....................ok it was six

hhhhh cyclonus IS looking for a cure for tailgate, even though he told tg that there wasn’t anything to hope for....excuse me as I go be emo 

and now we flash over to the unethical medical conduct hell zone, where pharma is being weird and horny and ratchet is appropriately horrified 

I seriously love how unhinged pharma looks, the art & colors do such a good job conveying his feral energy 

ratchet has some massive dick energy for taunting pharma when he’s currently just a head and pharma has dual chainsaws for hands 

ugh, I love whirls speech about anger...and I feel like he really does see cyclonus as a peer, despite cyclonus wanting to kill him, which is why he tells cyclonus all of this 

I fuckgin love that cyclonus’s reaction to very suddenly getting stabbed thru the abdomen is to just glance down at the sword, looking mildly inconvenienced 

back over to ratchet - and at first its like oh wow I can’t believe pharma was stupid enough to let ratchet goad him into this contest....but then you see first aid and ambulon and its like UH OH this is gonna be BAD

the idea that getting sliced in half is no big deal for a cybertronian is wild

‘you're gonna let doctor djd cut us in half?’ yeahhhh that's an appropriate reaction, yikes

FUCKING LENGTHWAYS GOD

pharma you piece of shit

poor ambulon :( :( :( that's fucking brutal. amazing panel but....jesus

and like, to further my point from last issue’s liveblog - the fact that this very gore-y panel is okay, but swearing isn't...that's really funny honestly. I guess robo-gore is acceptable, while I'm guessing regular ole run of the mill human gore wouldn't be

then back to cyclonus, who is still looking only vaguely put out by the sword stuck right thru him

and then cyclonus just pulls it right out, which is a very bad idea for humans but probably not as big of a deal for big near-immortal alien robots

circle of light stuck in capitalistic urban hellscape cubicals 

poor skids, being asked to stand trial while having no idea what his crime is due to Big Amnesia 

OH SHITTTT I totally forgot that getaway shows up here

that is super clever though, with chromedome confusing the name ‘getaway’ with the concept ‘needing to escape’

cant believe tyrest is really dumb enough to tell minimus all his evil plans

BUT that means its time for some very important forged vs constructed cold lore

jro spelling ‘program’ as ‘programme’ made me remember when he said that he considers everyone on the lost light to be british, which is perhaps the least valid thing he’s ever said vhbghjsdbfjkhasbjk

the idea that they used the matrix - which is portrayed as kind of a holy object - in reproductive experiments is really interesting

AUGHHHHH this is all so good and interesting...im really fascinated w/this particular brand of like, alien robot racism/constructism/whatever you wanna call it - I feel like it does such a good job as a plot device, where many other ‘fantasy racism’ concepts from other franchises fail, bc there's not really a ‘human metaphor’ being used here (as far as I know/can tell) - as in, this isn't a thinly veiled metaphor for something that happened/could happen in human history

in fact, this type of bigotry (or w/e you wanna call it) isn't something that is even really possible in humans - I guess if there was a stigma against being born via ivf or something...? but there isn't, so there's no obvious real-world equivalent, which I take as a sign of good writing and worldbuilding - it makes the cybertronians feel more Real, bc of course they would have their own types of bigotry based off of completely different things than humans 

additionally - and this is crucial - tyrest is wrong: there’s no like, inherent moral corruption in cold constructed bots. there's no difference at all, other than method of construction. fantasy racism plotlines often flounder here, with the oppressors having a ‘valid reason’ for oppressing the oppressed, but tyrest is just operated on religious zealot bs and some biased science

like, dude, did you ever think that maybe there are other reasons why your trials only condemned cold constructed bots? like, maybe the trial itself was biased? or societal conditions were to blame? correlation is not causation, my dude, especially when the conclusion is ‘cold constructed bots are inherently SINNERS’ lmao 

like, tyrest rlly said ‘FUCK separation of church and state,’ huh

anyways I just think the whole cold construction vs forged thing is really interesting and well-done, and serves as a good precursor to the more fleshed-out functionism stuff we see later 

so tyrest is clearly off his rockers w/the whole drilling thing - dude, you accidentally gave yourself a lobotomy, okay - but I find it kinda funny that he’s right about a lot of that stuff he said at the end, about primus and the guiding hand and stuff being real 

cyclonus saying ‘tailgate and the others’...I see you, man, I see you

also cyclonus looks fine now??? didn't he just get stabbed??? 

ah, tyrest sprinkling a little light genocide onto his plan to find salvation. nice, dude!

MINIMUS NOOOOOOOOO

‘fully deserved’ SHUT UP BIIIIITCH

poor minimus is taking a lot of Ls this arc, geez

oof, great issue! again, as usual....I loved the lore we got this issue, its so interesting...and some good character stuff too. I love minimus, I feel like he’s gonna be my fav this readthru; my first read my fav was brainstorm, second readthru was whirl, and I feel like its minimus/magnus this time. I just love his character arc...

hype af for more B) 

[anarcho-decepticonism]

we fixed hsm

here are our 3 page fanfic plans

Troy & gabriella break up after like a month in college. Gabriella is around people smarter than her for the first time in her life & she’s really struggling & he doesn’t understand what she’s going thru & she realizes that he’s not that empathetic & bad at communicating. She’s single for like a year just adjusting to college & making new friends & figuring out who she is after hs & also not putting her entire identity in her intelligence. She tries out for theater & they’re like “you’re not that good at singing” & she’s like “never mind” bc she liked it because it was with her friends in the first place. She finds community elsewhere & eventually is in a more fulfilling & communicative & mature relationship

Troy is having a lot of trouble bc being a student athlete isn’t enough at FUCKING BERKELEY!!! And he’s having trouble at school. He also isn’t getting lead roles in the theater program bc it’s like. A hobby as opposed to his major/career path. He has to learn to like things without being the best at them & also communicate w people better. He’s no longer super special and the focal point of everything. He immediately tries to rebound by getting a new gf & she realizes right away that he just wants her to love him and pay attention to him and solve his problems and is like “fuck that dude go to therapy”. He goes to the school therapist which sucks but he finds a good therapist & like. Improves as a person lol. He has to think more abt the experiences of others and not need to have everyone love him all the time. He gets a dog -- good for him bc he has to be responsible for the life of something else but also dogs are very affectionate

Sharpay goes to UA & at first loves it bc she’s the star but then is super underwhelmed & depressed. She talks to Ryan and he’s like “you know you can just transfer” and she’s like “wow i’m so smart i’ll just transfer”. After like a semester she transfers to a different school with a good theater program (not Juliard tho). She has a good mentor figure who’s a prof who’s like “your ambition and drive are good things actually especially bc ur a woman and will be told that ur awful & bossy for standing up for yourself.” she makes her first real friend other than her brother (i am So sad) in a theater class-- not someone who worships her but like an actual human connection. Specifically a girl who she respects & doesn’t feel she has to compete with. She has a learning moment when her friend gets the lead role and Sharpay is genuinely proud of her and she realizes she wouldn’t have been suited to that part and that she doesn’t have to be the center of attention all the time. She learns to derive self worth from her love of theater instead of from everyone validating her. Also her friend is goth & tells her that all the pink she wears is bad. They both initially loved the theater bc they wanted to be accepted but learn together that they can just find worth in each other and themselves and their work. Also at one point Sharpay starts dating someone and gets really annoying and her friend is like “you’re being annoying” and they get in a fight and Sharpay is like “i don’t even like him that much but i feel like i have to be in a huge romance relationship (bc of troy and gabriella but also Society)” and this eventually leads to her realizing that she’s a lesbian and also that she has an unhealthy view of relatioships. She goes to therapy (it takes her a really long time to go but once she realizes she gets to talk abt herself she is more willing). Important that she does not date her friend (her emotional support system) but she does eventually get a gf. It takes her a long time to figure out how to be a good girlfriend and that her professional ambitions are different than her personal ambitions (she’s used to treating her relationships like a business instead of a two-sided thing where there needs to be emotional connection and both people being like vulnerable w each other)

Her and Ryan having space from each other where he can shine by himself and she feels like she doesn’t have to upstage him all the time. He feels for a long time that he can’t rely on her bc she’s a mess but eventually he texts her like 16 times in a row abt a person in his program he’s really annoyed at and she’s like “oh my god he’s ruining your show you Have to talk to the director!!!!” and it’s really helpful to just talk it out w her even if he doesn’t take her advice. It’s helpful for him to realize that it is a problem and he’s not overreacting but also that he should not take things to the extremes that Sharpay does lol. He should not poison this person. They eventually fall into a good & more balanced sibling relationship where they can rely on each other for a certain subset of things but they aren’t the only people in each others’ lives

Ryan meets other gay guys at Juliard who tell him that his hats are bad and show him how to dress not like an idiot. They’re like “it’s ok buddy. I know you were the only out guy at your high school but you don’t need to do that”. He’ll like. Do fine in college! He’s like fairly confident in his abilities and identity & good at like. Balancing career & personal life. He’s fine enough at school and doing well in his theater things. He’s charismatic and makes more good friends. He “formally comes out” to his parents in like a big thing. He choreographs it and makes Kelsey write him a song to sing. His parents are like “well we knew that but did you have to make it this much of a thing” and he’s like “yes”. His mom is generally more accepting than his dad and his dad is like “please don’t talk about this to the people at the country club” and he’s like “i… wasn’t? I don’t know these people. They’re your friends”

After college Ryan gets famous before Sharpay does and generally has a good thing going wrt doing choreography for “really important things” (he isn’t public facing)-- he’s good at choreo and also good at working with divas (thanks Sharpay i love u). He gets Sharpay a good role in a thing but he makes a big deal like “I got you an audition i didn’t get u the part u did it all yourself :)” but he totally got her the part lol in that he recommended her. She does a rlly good job tho (obvs) and does well in the spotlight bc she;s actually like. Hardworking and driven and good at musical theater. Her Big Break is in like a movie adaptation of a musical. She’s Glinda when they finally make a Wicked movie. The choreography is really good bc Ryan does it

Taylor tries to become a politician but slowly realizes that her passion for being an activist doesn’t super align with that and figures out that she wants to enact social change without like. Being a part of the system. She has a youtube channel where she talks about social issues and wears her stupid sweater vests & ties. Also she dates someone who likes women. Before she was invested in the public-facing aspect of the relationship and she learns what it means to actually have private moments of caring & how to not follow a stereotypical relationship and instead to do like. What she actually wants to. She’s bi and she dates a woman and enjoys not having societal expectations wrt how relationships are supposed to go. She dates a guy and realizes that a m/f relationship also doesn’t have to conform to societal expectations. Both are super important experiences for her even if neither are “endgame” (i love u matty)

Chad is heartbroken after Troy goes to a different school but tries to hide it/is in denial. He kind of lashes out at people who want to make friends with him and goes into a depression spiral. He eventually snaps out of it when Sharpay (who is still going to UA at this point) is like “what’s your problem?? Anyway i started going to therapy and it helped actually. Toodles!” and he’s like “what the fuck just happened” but he makes an appointment. The first session he’s like “hwatever this is stupid idk why i’m here. Whatever” and the therapist is like “yeah. Okay.” but he eventually opens up and then like. Learns to see himself as not part of a friendship or group/team and see himself as an individual. He gets over Troy, which takes him a while but he does it & we’re proud of him <3 it also takes a while to make friends who he can be emotionally vulnerable around bc he’s never really had that type of relationship before (bc he and troy are very guys being dudes & he like. Wasn’t super close w Taylor as they were p much just a relationship for show). He makes friends w both some guys and girls who aren’t all on the basketball team and has friends from lots of different places. This process takes him like. All of college.

Chad doesn’t date anyone in college and afterwards it’s super awkward bc it’s like the first time he’s actually dating someone. He ran into Ryan and they have a talk where Ryan’s like “you could’ve been my first love but you were never really emotionally available bc u were in love w a straight guy and also not confident in the fact that u are gay. Like that summer was fun but it wasn’t real” and chad is like “oh”. Ryan was like in a serious relationship at that point but didn’t mention it bc he didn’t want to feel like he was rubbing it in lol. And then Chad thinks about things. This is like during a Thanksgiving break while still in college. Chad eventually dates a guy who understands how it’s like. Hard to be gay and figuring out relationships and stuff at different life stages.

Kelsey gets negative feedback for the first time and freaks out but eventually learns that a prof who only gives positive feedback when she deserves it is good actually. She incorporates criticism and starts to write songs that don’t suck. She continues to wear awful outfits. She has a nice girlfriend who also wears awful outfits. They are an awful annoying couple but they’re happy. They do annoying theater kid things

Ms Darbus realizes that it’s bad to force her students to completely write & choreograph their own shows and stops pouring her entire life into high school theater and fixes her problems with her “legal domestic partner” whom she was feuding with

Zeke realizes that he likes Sharpay in the same way he likes celebrities and that isn’t a crush. He makes plenty of friends in college bc everyone loves a guy who brings baked goods to places. He continues doing basketball & baking as hobbies but neither is a career & he finds passion elsewhere. He loves doing whatever he’s currently doing but doesn’t have like a Thing he wants to do forever and it takes him a while to find a forever career. He ends up teaching a variety of classes at community college and is happy doing that but also he might not do that forever. He comes to terms with his “contentment w the transience of life” and is like “if i’m happy doing what i’m doing now then that’s good enough for now”. He serves as a good contrast to all of the super driven people who know exactly where they want to be (gabriella, sharpay, ryan)

We did it. we fixed high school musical

[chroniclecollective]

thirty days of did asks - day two

Day Two: Who knows about your system? Who do you want to know? What do you feel like it’s like coming out as multiple?

currently, only my therapist, girlfriend, one of our alters' exes, and their old teacher knows were multiple. one of our previous therapists knows too, but i havent spoken to her at all since we left the program i was in as her patient. back in mid 2016 before junior year ended.

ill be honest here. in the beginning of the sessions with our current therapist (so this would be around mid-late 2016, i was the sole host and only fronter, everyone else had gone dormant after an event), i told him that i had "thought" i had did/osdd but i havent heard anything from the other alters since so like. i faked it ig nd he just went ok and we worked on my dysphoria and getting a name change for the body, working on getting a job. having help with college and starting testosterone (the main goal originally of therapy but it branched off from there bc i knew smth wasnt right) and then working thru not being on it anymore. he didnt care that i brought it up, he acknowledged it and moved on but definitely wrote it down in a document. and now he knows a little more about it which is good.

telling my gf was easy bc she has it too!! and weve been together since before i was in denial, so she knew about it too! and weve been together for two and a half years now so like. i trust her and she trusts me. her alters and mine interact constantly as well anyways so like everything is good there.

i told dyes ex about being multiple and he kinda gets it now, especially all the rapid changes that happened in middle and high school for the body. he knew us as the birthname we shared, but more specifically he knew and was rlly close with dye when she was fronting . but now he knows me as Lee (or tye but thats more of an irl thing), and i really appreciate that were

friends bc i have gotten to know him as such since i began fronting and its awesome. in addition to this, i told dyes old teacher from freshman year about us being multiple too; and he understood a lot about it and was really kind about it. he was the one that aided us into going to the hospital to get some serious help after a lot of emotional situations. we were bedridden and wouldnt go to school and were not in a good headspace. thankfully it helped but then there was a second hospitalization. and then a final third one and thats when i began hosting alone for like...2 years? yeah but this teacher helped us a lot and was a total friend to me during high school. i owe him a lot of my confidence and encouragment bc he gave that to me a lot

coming out as multiple is scary as fuck, even with people youve already known previously. a lot of ppl online know im multiple rn thru this blog, but i think thats ok bc if im able to open up about it someday in real life, people will understand and not be as shocked yknow? but yeah...and im not sure who i want to tell. i dont know if ill ever tell the momther? maybe tell dad, cause itll be kinda complex to explain but at least hell understand better....maybe tell our brother and sister someday. maybe our cousins in private. when i adopt kids with my girlfriend, well tell our kids when the time is right. it all depends on who im comfortable knowing about it

- lee

[m4rkshouse]

hello hello so vivi [@astrofireworks] came to me a few weeks ago with a prompt/fic idea she had nd i really liked it so here it is in bullet fic form vivi i hope i did your idea justice: 

okay so basically jinjin and mj have been dating since their first year of university

they met when jinjin accidentally walked into a first year chemistry class when he was trying to find his philosophy class

and when he realized he was in the wrong class he was too awkward to leave so he stayed and missed his very first university class ever

cue stressed jinjin basically just sitting there the entire hour long introduction, not listening at all 

and at the end of lecture mj tries to take the advice their professor just gave, and he talks to the kid next to him and asks for his contact info in case either of them ever miss lecture for whatever reason then they can trade notes

jinjin: “i’m uhh... i’m not in this class.... haha”

mj: “.......????”

jinjin: “i actually walked into the wrong classroom and i felt weird leaving, haha” he’s trying so hard to laugh it off but he’s internally dying a bit [a lot]

and mj is like “:oo dude that sucks but i get it, i probably would’ve been too awkward to leave too.” 

and after that they part ways and jinjin gets totally roasted by his roommate eunwoo bc he’s a whole idiot and he can’t believe he did that

but after that mj and jinjin keep running into each other everywhere

jinjin goes to the library to study? mj is a table over also studying

jinjin and eunwoo go to a party? mj is at that party

jinjin and eunwoo go to eat? mj is also there, sitting just down the table from them, eating with a couple of his friends as well

so eventually they just start talking nd cracking jokes bc they ALWAYS see each other and they’re like “haha the universe is trying to put us together”

and after some time, jinjin finds himself crushing on this super cute and sweet and funny dude he accidentally sat beside in the wrong lecture and so he asks him out

and he’s kinda expecting mj to say no bc he’s been on a few dates here and there with this guy in his chemistry class named moon bin

but mj’s like “finally you idiot i’ve been waiting for you to ask me out for forever”

and jinjin’s like “why didn’t you just ask me then????”

and mj’s like “.......... i don’t actually know??” and they’re both shook bc what an idiot but it’s okay bc one of them asked the other now

and they go on a date to a bowling alley and have a ton of fun and mj pouts when he loses but jinjin just smiles at him really big and kisses him on the cheek so it’s all good

and after that they’re pretty much inseparable and they start officially dating a little while later and they’ve been together ever since then

so skip a few years later and mj’s pursuing his Ph.D. and as part of his program he has the opportunity to do a co-op abroad

and obviously he takes it bc why wouldn’t he but it leaves poor jinjin on his own for six months while he’s gone

and obviously he’s super proud of mj bc it’s really awesome but also he’s sad bc the love of his life is gonna be away from him for six months

and he can’t tell mj anything but jinjin’s secretly been planning on proposing to him on their sixth anniversary for almost a year but now mj’ll be away for it

and he’s got a ring picked out and everything and he’s got it hidden in the pocket of this old backpack he has from when he was in university that’s sitting in a closet in their apartment

so mj packs all his stuff up and he needs a carry-on and so he takes the backpack and packs all his carry-on stuff in it and somehow jinjin doesn’t realize that this is the bag until after he’s dropped mj off for his flight and they’ve said their goodbye’s and he’s on his way home

and when he realizes he’s like “shit what have i done” and he’s freaking out and he doesn’t even go back to his apartment but rather to eunwoo’s and he’s losing his mind bc mj’s gonna find the fucking ring shit [and that’s if he hasn’t found it already]

and eunwoo just kinda looks at him like “you’ve always been an idiot when it comes to mj haven’t you?”

and jinjin’s like “this isn’t the time, idiot, what do i do?”

and eunwoo’s like “uhh how the heck should i know??”

and so amidst his freaking out they come up with a plan that they think actually isn’t that bad [it is] and basically jinjin’s gonna casually tell mj not to look in that specific pouch bc eunwoo’s hiding something in there that he doesn’t want ppl to see and then move on with it

so when mj calls him from toronto, where he’s doing his co-op, that night he’s like “!!! jinjin hi i made it safely”

jinjin: “i know, you texted me when you landed and when you got to your hotel”

mj: “i know but idk i wanted you to hear me say it not text it”

jinjin: “you’re so cute i love you”

and mj’s like “stop” and he’s blushing even though they’ve been together 5ever and also jinjin can’t even SEE him

jinjin, lowkey smug: “are you blushing rn??”

mj: “shut up park jinwoo >:/“

and jinjin calls him cute again before they get to talking about their days and what happened after jinjin dropped mj off and then he’s just randomly like

“oh btw eunwoo says he’s got something secret stashed in the left pocket of my backpack but he really doesn’t want us to check it so can you like..... not open that??”

and that’s literally the most sus thing mj has ever heard like first of all why would eunwoo randomly have something hidden in there that they don’t know about

second of all how does he even know mj took the backpack

so he’s like “wtf what’s in the backpack” and he goes into that pouch of the backpack while jinjin shouts in his ear to stop bc eunwoo rlly doesn’t want them to look

and he finds the ring and he tears up and nearly starts crying bc “holy shit jinjin’s gonna fucking propose to me”

and he loves jinjin so much and is literally thrilled by the idea of being married to him so he’s actually really really happy

but he doesn’t want jinjin to know he’s found it bc obviously he’s not supposed to know so he’s like “????? it’s nothing but an empty pouch in your shitty old backpack???”

and jinjin’s like “....... OH ofc he must’ve been talking about a different bag haha”

and part of him is RELIEVED bc mj doesn’t know but the other half is like “holy fuck the ring is supposed to be in there i lost a $4000 ring what the fuck”

so time passes and mj doesn’t tell jinjin he knows but while he’s away he wears the engagement ring 25/8 bc it’s so beautiful and he loves it and loves jinjin and wants ppl to know that he’s engaged [even if he technically hasn’t said yes yet]

and when he finally gets to go back home he just kinda forgets that he’s supposed to put the ring back bc he’s so used to wearing it and he keeps it on during the flight home

and he gets home and sees jinjin waiting for him once he gets to the baggage claim and he’s like “!!!!!!! jinjin” and he’s so so happy bc the love of his life is right there after six months

jinjin: “!!! baby !! i love you i missed you !!”

mj: “i missed you too!!”

and jinjin goes to take his hand to lead them to the belt where his luggage will come off and it’s then that he noticed mj is wearing a ring and he’s like “???? mj doesn’t have a ring”

so he looks a little closer and chokes bc that’s not just a ring that’s the ring

jinjin: “mj wtf you found the ring?!”

mj: “........ fuck i forgot to take it off i wanted to surprise you before i said yes :(“

jinjin, v shook: “b-before you said yes??”

nd mj’s just smiling so big and he throws his arms around jinjin’s neck again and he’s like “jinjin i love you to the moon and back obviously i’m gonna marry you”

and jinjin is kinda sad that the proposal didn’t go how he wanted but he’s also so so happy rn bc he loves mj and that makes him not rlly care about the proposal so he just hugs him really really tightly and tells mj how much he loves him and how much he means to him

but park jinwoo is also a huge sap so he still gets on one knee in the middle of the literal airport and asks mj to marry him and mj is so flustered bc a ton of people are watching

so he shyly says yes again and hugs jinjin so so tight and they kiss nd people are clapping bc this is a literal airport and it’s highkey awkward and mj just starts killing himself laughing at the whole situation

mj: “you’re actually a whole idiot i wouldn’t have checked the pouch at all if you hadn’t said anything”

jinjin: “yeah but i’ve always been kinda dumb whenever you’re involved, you make me unable to think clearly; in a good way though”

nd mj just scrunches his nose at him with a smile and tells him he’s a sap before kissing him once more

they collect mj’s luggage hand in hand and a few months later they get married and jinjin tells the story in his speech at the reception and it makes everyone laugh

and yeah it was kinda dumb but mj honestly couldn’t be happier with the way things turned out