#bc it could've absolutely ruined her career and education | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thesewordsxscrapbook · 2 years

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i feel so bad. i kept bothering my roommate this morning with my endless stream of random thoughts that i thought she'd find interesting or funny and she's way too nice to tell me to stop or leave her alone :((

i'm like. aware of it now (after i'm sure i've sufficiently annoyed her) but i felt like i couldn't HELP IT until after the annoyance damage was done 🥺💃

so anyway. she just left bc she had plans so i'm stewing in my guilt but i think i'm gonna get out of our place for a bit so she has some time alone bc i'm becoming more aware of how overwhelming i can be sometimes

but like, only when i get close to a person. it's hard for me to open up to ppl but once i'm close to them? nothing is off the table. i tell her grimy details about my periods and poops and i told her when i found a freckle on my labia.

so anyway. i think i need to take a deep breath and touch some grass and have some quiet time by myself outside of our place.

#some of the random thoughts:#i had a dream that i had cancer and my grandmother with dementia forgot who i was #me and my roommate's mutual friend (maybe ex-friend. idk) is really toxic and self-destructive. we've tried to help her #but she's not willing to help herself so there's not much we can do at this point :(#but anyway the random thought to accompany that unfortunate situation is that the song “mean” by taylor swift is really fucking appropriate #ALL YOU ARE IS MEAN AND A LIAR #AND ALONE IN LIFE #YOU HAVE POINTED OUT MY FLAWS AGAIN AS IF I DON'T ALREADY SEE THEM #your words like weapons and knives that you use against me #like it makes me wanna cry rn just thinking about it #bc the 3 of us used to be soso close and now the (ex)friend is just so. idek. she's unpleasant to be around and makes things awkward #and has a terrible attitude and is MEAN #she tried to start a rumor that another one of our friends was ''addicted to prescription pain killers''#which is entirely untrue #and also DEEPLY FUCKED UP???#bc it could've absolutely ruined her career and education #there were so many other random thoughts.#anyway. spotify play ''liability'' by lorde

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