#bc in the environment of the park i wanted something i could manage to read while slightly distracted

[biscuitscheesebiscuits]

Ah, yes, time for the annual reread of Red, White, & Royal Blue

[famedroleplayarchive]

As promised, here’s an admin update post. This addresses several topics you all probably knew were coming and might have been waiting for the answers on, as well as some other topics, additions, and changes! Please take your time to read this thoroughly, and thanks again for four years of Famed! There’s a lot here, so take your time reading it.

URL change

The main blog’s URL has changed to famedroleplay. Some links are still being updated, but if you notice anything still links back incorrectly after a week or so, please do let me know!

Faceclaims

After hearing out the opinion of everyone who shared theirs regarding banning faceclaims involved in bullying scandals and taking that into consideration, face claims will be banned if they are linked to outside crimes or severe such as sexual assault, molka, or bullying in connection to suicide / suicide attempts. This means the initial ban on actor Kim Jisoo and April members Kim Chaewon, Lee Naeun, Yang Yena, Lee Jinsol, and and ex-member Jeon Somin remain in tact.

Bullying allegations not linked to these outside factors will still be grounds for someone to be allowed to ask to change a faceclaim before their faceclaim change waiting period is up, though, if they are uncomfortable continuing to use a faceclaim because of bullying allegations. If a faceclaim leaves the industry and/or removes themselves from the public eye for the foreseeable future for any reason, they are also still unusable, but this rule was already in place.

As for how this will affect parts of the roleplay other than faceclaims, please see the section further down about Element. Two April songs (”Oh My Mistake!” and “Love Clock”) were previously used for the first season of base’s COLLA3ORATE. These will be retroactively replaced with Elris’s “Jackpot” and “Like I Do” respectively, but if you had a muse involved in “Oh My Mistake” and would prefer to remove them from COLLA3ORATE season one entirely, just message me and they will be removed. I assigned the lines trying to match the positions and line distributions up similarly, but if your muse was involved and you’d like to keep them in “Jackpot” but want to switch to an untaken position, you’re welcome to request that as well. Otherwise, any references to that can simply use those songs instead now.

Element update

Due to the recent allegations involving Somin, a major revamp of Element has had to be conducted. After discussing the situation with the current muns of the group, the past model discography of Element has been replaced using Checkmate, K-Tigers Zero, and Lucky J, and they will be making their final comeback on April 12. After those promotions end, Element will be disbanded and the members will re-debut later in the year in a boy group, Quicksilver, with model groups of Ateez and Treasure and a girl group, Marigold, with model groups of BVNDIT and Melody Day with two new members each. The Element spots have been reopened, but the new positions in the new groups won’t be opened until after Element have finished promoting. This will be a major plotline for the roleplay and Gold Star in particular so expect to see it brought up in schedules and in some articles on the Exclusive blog as the storyline unfolds.

The new debuts in Quicksilver and Marigold will be available on May 13.

Fuse’s model discography update

Thanks to everyone’s suggestions, I was able to find two groups to add to Fuse’s model discography that I felt could align with their sound, direction, storyline, and positions enough to be happy with for now. These groups are Cherry Bullet and Weki Meki. The updated line distribution can be found on Fuse’s page.

There are other groups I’m looking into adding onto the model discographies of, but Fuse was the most urgent, so they’re the only official update I have today!

Canon soloists

Ultimately, after the poll, more people voted to remove canon soloists than to keep them, and they are officially being removed from the roleplay.

Those discographies previously used for the soloists will begin to be open for points claims at midnight/12AM EDT on April 12.

With the removal of canon soloists, the plan is to allow a solo music career to become a more prominent claiming option, and there are plans for some additional claim options to become available in relation to such a career, but those will be added and addressed at a later time.

As for storylines linked to some of the soloists, this is how those will be retconned:

BC Soloist 1: Instead of BC signing and debuting a known Gold Star trainee, BC hired a high profile creative director from Gold Star known from working with Gold Star since their inception and had worked on some of their most defining comebacks and announced she would be taking over as one of the company’s main creative directors. She has since worked on conceptualizing several group’s comeback as well as most heavily on Chroma’s pre-debut project.

Dimensions Soloist 3: Instead of Dimensions buying out a small and brand new company created by a crew of popular music producers with one soloist who they transferred to their label, in early 2020, Dimensions bought out a music production company that was created by a top music production team with several rising producers signed with them and made the producers in-house producers for Dimensions. Since then, the new producers have helped to produce several hit Dimensions songs since.

While Gold Star Soloist 1 no longer exists as an IU stand-in, Gold Star still had an incredibly popular and loved NPC soloist as one of their first artists that helped give their name prominence. At the beginning of 2021, she announced her departure from the agency to create her own label, citing her reasoning as feeling she needed a more focused environment than Gold Star’s growth could provide. There are rumors she was alluding to dissatisfaction with Gold Star’s recent management and gossip that Gold Star was pushing for her to pursue activities in overseas markets she wasn’t interested in.

Anyone who had a feature or MV appearance claim on a soloist can contact me and let me know whether they’d like to just drop the claim (and, if a points claim, recollect those points), keep it as a claim in an unspecified work, or try to replace it with something else. The following muses had claims this applies to:

Features:

Cha Kyonghwa (Kami) (app claim) Kang Sunghee (app claim) Park Jaewon (points claim, 10 points) dropped! Choi Joosung (Sun) (points claim, 10 points) Moon Chaeyeon (Dita) (app claim) Park Duri (points claim, 10 points) kept as unspecified!

MV appearances:

Kim Kyongmin (Alice) (app claim) Ryu Jaein (points claim, 5 points) dropped! Seo Minjung (points claim, 10 points) points reclaimed! Moon Chaeyeon (Dita) (app claim)

Points shop updates

There have been a few updates to the points shop!

Firstly, the nation’s title claim checklist now requires a headcanon on the muse’s image and how it relates to their claims and career to be completed. This is just so I can see a mun’s own intentions for how everything ties in with their image. This headcanon shouldn’t focus on the title itself since that isn’t ever guaranteed for approval, but the muse’s general image as the mun has shaped it. The viral moment requirement for a nation’s title is now also specified to need to relate to the image involved in the desired title.

In the wake of canon soloists being removed, I’m planning on being a little more strict regarding music claims aligning well with positions.This applies to both individual songs and whole discographies. Still, the intent is to be reasonable. Chungha having a rap-like verse in “Bicycle” won’t require someone to have a rap position to claim it since it’s not a lot of the song and she’s not known as a rapper, but I also wouldn’t approve a muse whose most prominent position is main rapper or a main dancer making their entire discography IU releases since IU is primarily a singing-focused artist.

There used to be a rule requiring that muns seek admin approval before claiming songs written by deceased artists, but that rule has now been removed. Keep it respectful, though, please. If any issue arises with muns breaking the fourth wall in relation to these songs to be disrespectful about a real person’s passing, that claim may be revoked and the rule may be reinstated. Songs performed by deceased artists still cannot be claimed.

There’s also a new claim available — a YouTube variety show or talk show. Please see the variety page for examples and more information, but note that this is separate from both a reality show claim. I’ve tried to specify the difference, but if you’re ever unsure which one what you want to claim would fit into, feel free to ask! Both will now be uploaded in-’verse to base’s Youtube Channel. Likewise, there has been a small change so that future radio show claims are now through base Radio, a radio streaming application (think Naver Now). 

Company building pages + Pinterest

I’m currently working on pages that give more detail on the layout of the company headquarters. They aren’t quite finished yet, but I have created a Famed Pinterest account for those of you who find more muse visually or who are into visual worldbuilding! One of the sections on the boards there gives a rough idea of company building visuals. There are group concept boards as well, so if you’re struggling to decide where your muse might fit, looking at those might help you if you’re more of a visual person. No one is required to follow it and I won’t be answering messages or anything of the sort there, but I thought it might be a helpful way to visually convey locations and concepts! I’ll make a small post to let everyone know when the pages with in-depth information on the company buildings is available.

Activity rules updates

I mentioned there’d be a few more touch-ups to the activity rules to fill in loopholes that have been around a while, so here they are.

- There is now a formal hiatus request form that must be submitted to request a hiatus. Simply sending the main an IM that you want a hiatus will no longer qualify as a valid request and it will not be processed.

- There will no longer be a week-long grace period after a hiatus ends. You are responsible for being active for the next activity check after your hiatus ends.

- The maximum length of a hiatus is now three weeks (and the minimum one week). The initial hiatus request maximum is still two weeks with one week extensions, but extensions may not be stacked to exceed three weeks total without a passed activity check in between. If you can’t be around for a longer period of time, it might be best to rejoin at a later time when you’re more available! In total, a mun is allotted a maximum of four weeks of hiatus over any twelve week period.

- If a muse reaches three activity warnings in a month, they will be automatically moved to the unfollow list on their third warning instead. If a muse is removed and refollowed three times over the course of six months, they will not be able to be re-followed again and will have to re-apply.

New points opportunity

As of this post going up, muses may now collect one point for every first closed thread with a new muse after it has reached ten posts. This will no longer only apply during events and the ten post requirement is new. Members should be interacting with new muses all the time, not just during events, so it felt right to adjust this accordingly. This applies only to threads started after this post goes up.

Chroma

As schedules have been made quarterly, all remaining Chroma roles will be made available for reserves and applications in at midnight/12AM EDT on April 12.

Suggestions + Feedback

I want to end off this post by reminding everyone that I’m always taking suggestions for events, tasks, etc! I plan on opening an official suggestion submission blog at some point down the line, but I’m happy to take suggestions through the ask box or submit if you have any. I’m also open to feedback as well. If you do send in either of these things, please specify if you’d like a reply from me, since sometimes I might be naturally inclined to keep a message simply giving a suggestion or idea without any questions instead of responding to it.

Thanks for reading this very long update! There are more additions to the roleplay in the works, some I’ve hinted at here and some I’ve not, but I hope Famed’s fifth year is able to be its best one yet!

[ofreligion]

hi everyone !! my name is reed, chaotic energy queen, owner of a single braincell (only 33% of the time), and 1/2 of the admin team at covingtonhqs. i live in the est timezone, use they & she pronouns (pls alternate these as much as u can, thank u mwah), am 19 years old, and a hot mess disaster. however, you’re not here to hear about me, you’re here to read all about my daughter, michal. so, without further delay, click the read more to learn all about the one, the only, michal glickman.

name: michal glickman gender & pronouns: cis female, she & hers age: 21 major & year: environmental studies major with a dual concentration in toxic plants and environmental advocacy, fourth year faceclaim: diana silvers occupation: floral apprentice at foxglove florists

everyone has a moment where they first find the place that they belong, michal’s just happened to be in the middle of bum fuck nowhere

bresheit––in the beginning

born michal אביבה glickman (pronounced michal aviva glickman) at 6:00am on april 22nd, 1998 to two loving parents; rabbi adam עקבא (akiva) glickman and deborah ברכה (bracha) glickman nee goldstein esq

name meanings time !

michal: biblical michal was king saul's daughter and first wife of david. in the biblical narrative, michal chooses the welfare of david over the wishes of her father. when saul's messengers search for david in order to kill him,  michal sends them away while pretending she is ill and laid up in bed. she lets david down through a window and hides teraphim in his bed as a ruse. although she risked her life in helping him, after he leaves the court, he makes no attempt to contact her. after michal was returned to david, she criticized him for dancing in an undignified manner, as he brought the ark of the covenant to the newly captured jerusalem in a religious procession. for this she is punished, according to samuel, with not having children until the day she dies.

אביבה (aviva): a modern hebrew name meaning "springtime". it is related to the name of the israeli city tel aviv, as well as to the jewish holiday passover which occurs in the month of nisan, previously called aviv.

glickman: the name glickman is a proud symbol of ancient jewish culture. it is taken from the yiddish word glik, which means luck.

more about her parents !

michal’s dad works as hemlock’s one and only resident conservative rabbi at temple shir shalom, located about a fifteen minute walk from the glickman family home. (i define conservative judaism as a happy medium between reform ~laid back judaism~ and orthodox StRiCt judaism, a conservative jew would probably punch me for saying that). 

michal’s mom works as a corporate lawyer at some ugly mean bank that hates the environment and we don’t stan at all

they didn’t meet on j date but they met via j date’s predecessor, their grandmothers being best friends

the past !

the glickmans have been a member of high society in hemlock since their matriarch, michal’s great grandmother hadassah, came over during the holocaust. she immigrated easily, fitting right in with the crowd. an avid follower of practical kabbalah, a jewish mystic tradition concerning the use of magic, her uniqueness made her quite the popular person, and people began to pay large sums of money for her to interpret their dreams and read their palms.

hadassah was the last follower of kabbalah in her line, and her son cut off ties to the mystic tradition as soon as he was able to choose his own religious practices. 

still the past but less far in the past !

michal’s upbringing was pretty standard for a white rich kid in a white rich town. she was brought to parties and events she didn’t want to go to, forced to wear cute dresses and shoes and things that she felt weird wearing. she wanted to run around outside, she didn’t want to eat gross appetizers at boring events and pretend like she wanted to be there. 

as the years she spent on this earth grew, so did the amount of donor events and fundraising efforts and pairs of fancy shoes she owned. despite her expressing to her parents multiple times that this was not who she was, that these were not things she wanted to go to, they refused to listen to her and continued to drag her to the events against her will.

while they took care of her financially, they didn’t take care of her spiritually. she has a weird complicated relationship with her childhood, as it could have been so much worse, and in the grand scheme of things she was so lucky, but there were so many things she wished she could have done like go hiking and play basketball and be allowed to be herself, and missing out on that has really stopped her from letting her true self shine through, even now.

the label !

now, you may be asking yourself, “reed, how on earth does michal fit this label?” well, let me tell you!

when i hear high heels, i think of an old pair of dress shoes that you probably should’ve gotten rid of a while ago. they’re scuffed, a bit too small for you, and have lost the majority of their shine. michal is trapped in this idea of what her parents want her to be, and while she still squeezes into those high heels for important holidays and events that she is still forced to go to, it’s something that she does begrudgingly, and because she doesn’t want to start conflict.

vayikra––and he called

on a retreat to charles mound, the highest point in illinois, during her sophomore year of high school, michal experienced what it was like to feel the presence of god. she took her shoes off, laid down in the grass, and closed her eyes. it was the first moment she was certain of anything

ever since then, michal’s point of view on spirituality and religion has changed drastically, and she has become much more in touch with the world around her. she practices her judaism through gardening, leading environmental protests (sometimes against her mother’s company, she’s got no clue how she’s managed to avoid getting caught for that), and going on lots of hikes and adventures

it was a moment of clarity for her, her first opportunity to really be who she wanted to and needed to be

bamidbar––in the wilderness

so now, she’s stuck. she knows exactly what she wants to do and who she wants to be, yet is afraid of coming clean to her parents, who currently think she is studying economics on a pre-law track. 

she has this kind of double life that she leads, she’s one person at school and another person at home, and as much as she hates it, she fears being cut off from her parents if she refuses to do what they ask of her

headcannons

taurus sun, pisces moon, taurus rising

she was born on earth day in case that was lost on u adjshjkfdhgfd

wants to be a park ranger when she grows up

very socially awkward and bad @ most human interactions, but is also super witty once u get to know her

hasn’t been single/not actively pursuing a or being pursued for a romantic relationship since she was six 

falls in love extremely easily, leads to her getting her heart broken a lot

bisexual (prefers women & nb individuals, probably like a 4.5 on the kinsey scale)

while she has had a lot of romantic relationships, real friendships are harder for her to make, and finding one that sticks and makes her feel comfortable is something that is so sacred and special for her that she cherishes it

really looks up to melanie, the connections she makes with people, and how confident she is in the person that she is

smokes a lot of weed

extremely anti-shoe, if she could never wear shoes, that is what she would do, but bc she has to wear shoes sometimes she wears tevas and birkenstocks most of the time

has a huge passion for learning and gaining knowledge, would probably have seventeen minors if she could

she wants to visit every national park by the time she turns 30

michal has a catfish named dog!! it’s a hebrew joke bc in hebrew, dog means fish.

wanted connections

exes ! all of the exes ! ending on good terms, ending on bad terms, first love, losing their virginity to each other, right person wrong time, something that was never quite a relationship

friends ! pals ! amigos ! comrades !

other things i FORGOT TO FINISH AND RAN OUT TIME FOR THIS PLS PLOT W/ ME THANK U

[lovedeluxe92]

okay so i started working at jimmy johns in early febuary of this year. i needed a job rlly bad and money desperately, just something to keep me afloat and to afford food. what i experienced...i was not at all prepared for lmao. i was sexually harassed, verbally harassed, had my hours fucked with, had management and even the owners of the company who could give a fuck less about their employees, had to deal with my fellow coworkers AND managers being on k2 and other drugs, and the final fucking straw which was getting my tip money stolen from me OUT OF THE SAFE BY A MANAGER. i started working as a delivery driver. which was INCREDIBLY stress inducing at first bc i worked at the one right downtown. i had to deal with

i started working as a delivery driver. which was INCREDIBLY stress inducing at first bc i worked at the one right downtown. i had to deal with

traffic, pedestrians NOT LOOKING WHERE THE FUCK THEY WERE GOING DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY PPL I ALMOST KILLED CAUSE /THEY/ DID NOT LOOK, we have ‘parking police’ and i legit got about 15-20 tickets during my time there bc that asshole was out for blood and anytime he saw my car, even if i wasnt parked illegally (oh did i mention we had like 3 parking spots all on the street and all with a 2 hour limit (: ) or hadnt been parked in a spot for the full 2 hours. so there was that. 

see when i first started everything was fine. we had good employees who worked hard and did what they had to do. they were all stoners, but whatever i could care less about that. SO. our assistant manager, he was a mess. racist, homophobic, rude, loud. the worst. we would do dabs out in his car (yeah i know but i worked at a fucking jimmy johns) and he would just say the most questionable shit. i remember this one time he saw my phone background was a pic of me and my bf and was like ‘oh you like black guys? what’s your sex like? i bet it’s really good’ and im not gonna go into too much detail here, bc it upset me and its racist,  but he kept going and said some REALLY creepy shit i was like wtf and told him to never speak to me like that again or i would report him for sexual harassment (side note: one time he thought i did report him for sexual harassment and was like “who are you gonna buy weed from now?” LITERALLY ANYONE YOU PIECE OF SHIT.) he would always be like “DAMN THICK’ whenever i would bend over and do everything. I TOLD MY MANAGER AT THE TIME. she  didn’t do anything. AND the owners of the franchise definitely knew bc like...there’s cameras and they can hear everything we say? but no one did fucking anything. and i needed the money bad so i had to stay. of course i told him off constantly. he was white and always saying the n word. just a piece of fucking shit. 

i think the happiest day of my life was when he FINALLY got fired. my manager had to go to another city for a week and help out that jimmy johns bc i guess ALL the employees and managers did a walk out (yeah this happens at all the jimmy johns owned locally in my area i wish i was kidding) and left his inept ass in charge. it took him 5 mins to make sandwiches (FREAKY FAST hello????) he was just a poor manager. but THEN he started using k2 again. and he was a zombie. there was no point of him even being there bc like he would just go to the back of the store and just stand in front of the freezer door staring for like 10-15 mins at a time.i was a driver and didnt know how to make sandwiches yet and this bitch seriously was just standing there cracked out of his mind on k2 in FRONT of customers (and i will say our customers were SO nice at least) takking phone calls slurring his words. it was embarrassing. i rememeber i had 2 customers who had waited almost a HALF HOUR for ONE sandwich bc i was having a panic attack and losing my fucking mind trying to make their sandwiches while he was in his truck getting high and refusing to come in. one of the customers actually gave me a tip and told me i was doing great and the other one was like ‘im so sorry this is happening to you, that guy is  fucked up’. anyway, he passed out on k2 in his truck one night and got the cops called on him and got banned from the property :) i still saw him from time to time and he looked disgusting & miserable and it made me so happy. 

mostly we just had grown ass employees, fucking 30 year olds, just acting like children. always on drugs. i had one coworker pretend to slap my ass and i called him out and he was like ‘it’s a joke im not apologizing’. people would try to take deliveries from me. AND LET ME JUST SAY, not even to fucking brag even slighly but i was the best worker there my entire time there bc regardless of where im working i am giving my 100% every day and no one else there would. but ppl always tried to step over me and did not respect me. we had one coworker who had 3 felonies and one day like 4-5 cops came to our store to tell us to call the cops the next time he showed up for work (surprise surprise he fled bc they took an hour to get to the store despite the fact we were literally like not even 4 blocks from the police station) and he was always high on k2. forever late. day after day no call no show. he had his friend get hired on who would go down to subway and talk shit about subway in his uniform??? lmao and subway called us one day and was like ‘can yall not?’ he also threatened to burn down the store and then my manager (who was always on a power trip if we’re being honest) purposefully withheld his paycheck to fuck with him, because he was fucking with her, so we dealt with him WAY longer than we should have? 

then this one bitch that became manager, SOMEHOW, we were seriously always that desperate for staff and we hire anyone bc the managers are overworked af and just want to take the load off. anyway, SHE was always high on k2 as well. and she would always overshare rlly traumatic personal things from her life to me and all the customers and its like....girl we dont wanna hear that pls try and get some help. she was not currently being abused, i wanna specify. she was talking about things from her past. i sympathized with her but like im a victim of dv too lmao i dont wanna see your bruises without being asked first. and then i remember one day i left my money bag there (i kept my tips in it and had like $37 in there or something) and this bitch who was making MORE MONEY THAN ME seriously fucking went into the safe (we caught her on camera lmao) and stole that money out of my bag and left a few bills to make it seem less suspicious i guess??? lied about it to my face? then quit bc she ‘wasnt gonna sit there and be accused of something i didnt do’ like ok lmao

then to top it all off at one point my old manager just stopped giving a fuck and the store went to shit and we got complaint after complaint and she started being so rude to all of her staff, including myself (and we were like besties so i was devastated) and she cut my hours when she was submitting our work times for the checks because i would clock in early to help out....LIKE SHE ASKED? and it was just everything i said to her...her response was just the most rude and hateful voice and just....it was so rude. i cried every single day after work. she eventually got replaced and then quit 

but then this new manager, whom i loved, was very depressed and just had a lot wrong with him mentally but he was still very....drama starting and attention seeking. he would talk about suicide nonstop 24/7 and not to be callous but it just made me so uncomfortable and triggered me so much? they did overwork him and i will attest and agree to that and he had a lot on his shoulders but he couldve gone to mcdonalds literally any day and gotten a job with better hours, better pay, and better benefits. i kept telling him over and over to leave bc he had so much managerial experience he couldve been hired anywhere! all resteraunts down here are perpetually hiring, especially for managers! i would know bc i was looking for another job lmao. but he’d text me every night saying things like ‘well lets hope i drink myself to death’ ‘suicide is painless’ etc. and it was just......VERY uncomfortable for me, as someone who has attempted suicide and still struggles with ideation from time to time lmao it was just the most triggering environment ever 

like idk how i lasted that long but i worked my ass off, saved up my money, have a good paying job and im trying my best to forget this entire experience (honestly i did have some good times) but i really dont....think i can lmao 

ON A POSTIVE NOTE: we had some of the kindest and most caring customers ive ever had in my life. i was shocked. but the amount of times i had a shitty customer in my entire time there i can count on one hand lmao like....even when they were shitty they were like ‘im sorry i know yall work hard and everything’ like i miss my customers SO MUCH because we actually had relationships with them and shit and ugh god. if the customers were shitty tho i would never have kept this job lmfao 

i stayed at this job simply bc i made enough money for rent and my bills perfectly and it was one of the few jobs where i was paid an hourly wage + tips. and i wanted my next job to be a job in my field. that’s why i stuck around so long, it took some time to do that.

so yeah theres my mess i love anyone who read this and you can have my first born and be the beneficiary to my life insurance when i die

[sunnysidewrites]

Be There In Spirit ➵ Seokmin

Genre: ghost!au, fluff, mainly angst whoop there goes my heart

Pairing: DK/Seokmin x Reader

Word count: 3982 yall.... i got so caught up in this.... this was only supposed to be 2k and its basically double bye

Synopsis: After years of grieving, Seokmin suddenly shows up again out of literally thin air. Second chances only come once, and you knew you couldn’t let this one go to repeat a last time.

A/N: YALL SUNNY IS BACK WITH THE ANGST MWHAHAHA I teared up SO many times writing this you dont even know yall pls someone hoLD ME IM SO SAD :’((( as expected, i always go hard on my biases,,,, THIS IS PART 1 OF SEOKMIN’S BELATED BIRTHDAY PRESENT!!! PART 2 WILL BE FLUFF DW LMAO I was told to upload the angst first so that the fluff will be there in the “healing period” so here you go!!! have fun reading this my children!! 

happy belated birthday to my beloved sunshine. you radiate so much warmth to the point i could feel it as i was writing this. you’re a gem in the industry and in our lives. stay happy and healthy my love ❤️❤️❤️ (it’s ironic bc in here it’s actually YOUR bday LOL)

Warnings: mentions of death, and, if you look closely, my tears it just gets angstier as it continues i’ll be in the corner crying if you need me

The shaking of the entire apartment complex justled you out of your dreamless sleep, the loud, hard thumps upon your windowpane and the cold cotton of your pillowcase senselessly shaking you back to reality.

It didn’t take you right away for you to notice your upper body was drenched in cold sweat until the wave of shivers travelled down your spine repeatedly. Your eyes drifted to your nightstand to make out the blinking numbers in the dark that your eyes haven’t yet utterly adjusted to. 5:38, the blur of red glared. You heaved a sigh and held your head in your hands momentarily. There were still three hours left before your actual alarm went off, but there was no point of trying to get some shut-eye for the sixth time that night. You heaved yourself up and stretched for ten minutes before having the steaming water pound on your back.

What’s up with me? You furrowed your eyebrows as the droplets fell on your skin. I need some fresh air, that’s probably what it is. Maybe I finally cracked under the stress of the new boss. You only shrugged it off as you grabbed your towel and slid in the outfit you laid out temporarily on the towel rack. After hastily throwing on the thickest coat hung up in your closet and snatched the keys off the counter table, you snugly pulled your scarf right underneath your nose and exited the apartment with a half-hidden face and a hooded head.

You looked down at your phone and mentally timed yourself for a half hour walk around the neighborhood. It sure was convenient to only live a few blocks away from the local park; your nearby getaway from life was only a seven-minute walk away. Your gloved hand stuffed your phone back in your coat pockets, and there began your walk.

The first half of the mini-exercise was pleasant and serene. Although the biting wind irritated your cheeks, there was something untouchable and peaceful about walking in the winter alone. Your once-clouded mind was as clear as the soft sunlight filtering through the leaves of the trees, pillowed by the lush grass. You inhaled fresh oxygen, Mother Nature completely overtaking your senses and engulfing you. The scattered chirps of your winged friends were your only source of sound above the chilling wind.

You had circled around the park for a good while, already spending 80 percent of your time doing so. You finished up your final round and started heading back to your home. The walk back was as ordinary as it usually was.

Until it suddenly wasn’t.

If you had continued to space out for a second longer, you could have missed it. The moment could have passed long gone by the time you had snapped out of it, but you just had to come back to reality in that exact moment. And you weren’t sure whether it was a good or a bad thing.

He was sitting on a windowsill of a random quaint business shop a little ways ahead. His hands were stuffed in his brown and white wool jacket, his head slightly tilted back and the corners of his lips were imperceptibly quirked upwards like he knew a secret you didn’t. In this case, he sure seemed like he did.

You had stopped abruptly in your tracks and in turn gaped at the brown-haired beauty. Even in the dreary cold light of the winter, he was still able to shine even without wholly exposing his pearly whites. He always did have that effect. His gaze moved from the sky to the right of his vision and finally to the left, where that gaping mouth of yours was.

He stood up, his smile widening by the second. You blinked twice and even moved your hands to rub your eyes. Your heartbeat picked up the pace as he started advancing on you. You were simply frozen on the spot, your limbs terrified of moving a muscle.

Before you could even get out the word “what,” his arms encircled you and knocked the air out of your lungs as if you weren’t already having trouble getting enough oxygen inside your system in contrast to the open environment in the park. You wanted to screech, cry, shove him, hug him, but your voice would give away the emotions welling up in your chest. They eventually journeyed all the way to your head as soon as he let go to examine your face. The overwhelming sensation made everywhere else stiff, but the leaking of your eyes gave it away. His grin dropped almost immediately as your head, and you could only hear his mouth run.

“Oh no, are you okay?! What happened? Who do I have to fight?” You cried even harder at his last sentence. He couldn’t even hurt a fly, much less get involved in a physical fight. You tearily chuckled and raised your palms in an embarrassing attempt to wipe away the tears, but he had beat you to it. The grip around your shoulders migrated to the sides of your face, cupping you like you were as fragile as you felt, and gently raised your head. His thumbs brushed away your tears as they rained down on them. His eyes searched yours in a frenzy, trying to inspect any hints of your sudden meltdown.

“How… how on earth are you here? Literally?” You managed to gargle out of your strained throat. He only stared blankly at you. You continued, “You’re… you’re not supposed to be here. Maybe I’m really hallucinating this time around. Yeah, that must be it.” You reach out to poke him, and you gasped as you could feel the material of his coat. The grip he had on your shoulders and now on your face; they all felt too real. Why?

“That—that’s not possible. You’re, you’re not real!” You tried taking a step back but his hands went back down around your shoulders. “Wait, Y/N.” Fresh tears pricked the back of your eyes. You haven’t heard your name on his tongue in years. So why now?

“I know it must come as a shock—“ “—of course it does!—“ “—but it really is me. You touched me; I’m as real as it gets!” “Prove it. Where did we last go together?” “The amusement park. You forced me to go on that rollercoaster 4 times.” “What did we do for your birthday?” “We went to a bowling alley where I destroyed you.” “You only got lucky that last round, Lee.” “You’re still using that same line after all this time.”

Your breath quickened momentarily before slowing down. Is it really him?

“If you need any more proof, here’s the final one.” He pulled out his phone and gave it you. You stared incredulously at him. “You want me to take your phone?” He laughed, “Why don’t you turn it on?”

With your brows still raised, you slowly took his device and pressed on the power button. “Alright, it’s on—“

The words remained stuck at your throat. His wallpaper was the selfie you both took at the amusement park in line waiting for the rollercoaster. Your eyes shot up to his. It… it can’t be… He’s...

He only gives you a warm smile, the same one so many years ago. “Happy birthday, Y/N.”

“I just don’t understand,” your voice echoed through your apartment as you entered the living room with two water bottles in both hands. You handed one to him as you sat across from him. “How are you even here?”

He shrugged and opened up the bottle. “Beats me. One second I’m sleeping at the studio, and the next I’m here.” You bitterly remembered the studio, the last place it all happened. You took a large gulp of water before speaking up again. “Seokmin, I was there. I saw it with my own eyes. You DIED!”

Seokmin stared at you before leaning over to rest his forearms on his thighs. “Okay, so, maybe I kind of lied.” You gave him a look. “I’m not really alive, but not exactly dead, either.”

“Just say you’re a ghost or some spirit.”

“Well, I guess you could say I’m a ghost. I was just brought back to ‘life,’” he air quoted, “to spend the day with you, I guess!” You shake your head and sit up straighter. “But why now? You didn’t appear for a bunch of birthdays consecutively. It’s only today.”

“I wish I knew the answer to that, too.” He raised his hand to cup your cheek. You leaned into his touch and brought your hand to rest on top of his. He looked at you melancholically, his eyes slightly hooded. “I want to spend every day with you if I could, but things just happen in their own way like this.”

You sighed. “Well, it still freaks me out to no end that you’re actually before me after so much time has passed, but it also feels like we’re picking up right after we left off, as weird as that is.”

He leaned over and pressed his lips on your forehead. They were still warm and soft. “Well, birthday girl, what do you wanna do today?”

You wracked your brain, your hand cupping your chin. “Do-over of those amusement park and bowling dates!”

He only let out a chuckle and shook his head. “Didn’t expect anything different from you. Shall we?” He laced his fingers in yours and pulled you up to your feet. You still had no idea why or how everything was happening like it was, but you were in no position to complain. Maybe this was the second chance you were finally granted with after wishing on countless shooting stars, prayer after prayer in the deafening silence of the dark.

You made your first step at the looming hunks of metal and the familiar grinding on the tracks as bursts of screams followed the direction of their carts. You felt bittersweet of your return after so long; you couldn’t bring yourself to have the same enjoyment you did with the only person who was willing to be dragged on every ride possible with little to no complaints. The warmth surrounding your hand suddenly felt more present than ever. You gently squeezed his, ensuring his presence was there for the tenth time that hour.

“Y/N, if you keep squeezing my hand like this, my blood circulation will cut off.”

You playfully nudged him, rolling your eyes. “Okay, you baby. Tell me that once we get off the rollercoasters.” Flashing his pearly whites, he leaned in to plant a kiss the side of your head. “Maybe it just gives me an excuse to hold your hand, hm?” He dropped your hand and just when you opened your mouth in protest, you felt a slight tug around your shoulders, where his hand reappeared. You smiled to yourself as you wrapped your arm around his waist and rested your head on his chest. His inviting warmth always allured you, and even more so in the harsh winter.

Have you always been this cold?

“You really want a rematch, don’t you?” You raised an eyebrow at him with crossed arms. “Are you that eager to lose against me again?”

“Hey now, don’t get too cocky. After enduring all those long lines and horrific rides, it’s your turn to be in my forte.” He carefully picked up a bowling ball and got into position. You inwardly grimaced when the scoreboard marks a strike on his first try. That was a tell-tale sign that he truly was about to demolish you, but you were never going to admit that -- at least, not in front of him. He turned back and gave you a smirk you wanted to wipe off his terribly attractive face as he stalked back to his seat. You deeply inhaled and exhaled, your eyes trained on the 12 pins at the end of the lane. You released the ball and subconsciously held your breath as it traveled further down. A satisfying clunk rang in the nearly empty bowling alley as you turned back and returned his smirk.

“Strike out, buddy.” He stood up and said tauntingly, “Don’t be so confident. We have a whole game ahead of us, honey.”

The friendly competition and the banter was all that could be heard the whole night. Echoes of your laughs and the pins knocking down were music to your ears, melodies that you desperately missed. The ache in your chest returned as it usually did whenever you felt too sentimental. The twinkle in his eyes and the brightness of his smile were all it took to turn you into a sappy mess. He didn’t change one bit.

His head was cocked up to look at the scoreboards, his legs shook in anticipation. He turned to you and raised his hands up in the air triumphantly. “Another game to me!”

For some reason, his boyish enthusiasm ironically made you… What was the word? You stared at him doing his dorky happy dance and the smile that never left his face for a second.

Longing. Hopeful. Melancholic. A mix of everything, much more than the numbing feeling you grew accustomed to after the incident. Your vision blurred, hot tears tracked down your now red cheeks. He immediately stopped dancing and rushed to you.

“Hey, it’s okay, we can always go for another round. The night is still young--”

You laughed wetly, shaking your head at his pure innocence. “No, no, I’m not crying because I lost. I -- god, what’s wrong with me.” You could only shake your head and pathetically wipe away the tears. He gazed at you sadly and brought your head to his chest. The hug he engulfs you in was almost enough for you to break down more heavily, but you stopped yourself before it would turn into a sobfest. He rubs your back soothingly and pets your head all at once. His slow movements contained traces of dejection and led to his next question that you least expected.

“You’ve been crying all day, Y/N… Are you… not happy to see me?”

You abruptly lifted your head and stared up at him with panicked eyes, your tone slightly raised in alarm. “What, of course not! It’s just so much to take in. I mean, you’ve been out of my life for five years, and you’re suddenly back. It makes no sense at all. And everything about today has made me miss you so terribly. It’s been hard, Seokmin.” You touched the side of his face and he nodded in understanding. “I know… I know. I really do wish I could still be with you, but… well, we know why that can’t be.” He gazed at you with a sadness you’ve never seen fill his pupils before, his features slightly distorted at the situation you’re thrown in.

You sighed but decided strengthen your resolution. “Well, there’s only a few hours left of the day. We can’t spend the rest of it moping around now. Let’s go back home and call it a night.” You were about to grab your jacket sprawled out on the benches, but he quickly took ahold of your wrist. “Wait, let’s take a selfie together!” You couldn’t help but giggle at his excitement and the speed he whipped out his phone from his jeans back pocket. He slightly bent down at your height and held out his device in front of the both of you. You rested a hand on his shoulder and smiled at the front camera. “One… two… three!” Just before the “three,” you turned your head and leaned in to give him a light cheek kiss. 

Click. 

His eyes widened and he laughed in embarrassment. “Aren’t you getting bold now,” he bashfully states more than questions. You chuckled and peered over his shoulder, “Let’s see how it turned out!”

He turned his back towards you and shook his head. “No! You always demand a retake, and it ends up being a photoshoot for five minutes and deleting 14 out of 18 pictures.” He secretly checked his image gallery and smiled. “You’re beautiful, as always.” You rolled your eyes and started packing up your things scattered on the table. “Always the charmer, aren’t you, Mr. Lee.” He jogged back to you and gracefully took his jacket from your hands. “You deserve the truth, babe.” You let out a small laugh and took his hand in yours. “Just send me it.” He nodded and led you out the door, the eventful night coming to a close.

The trip back home was in a comfortable silence, the both of you simply basking in the other’s presence. There was no need for words to fill the quiet. With your head on his shoulder and his stacked on yours, it was crystal clear what both hearts communicated. You hadn’t felt this much at ease all day, much less in those empty, listless five years. The soft movements of the moving car soon lulled you to sleep up until your apartment building pulled into view.

You and Seokmin trudged up to your floor and plopped down on the couch. He was underneath you, his arms wrapped around your back and your head nuzzled in the middle of his chest, your ultimate favorite pillow and source of comfort you yearned for all these years. Your legs were an intertwined mess and your arms just as entangled.

“It’s 10 pm,” he muttered from the top of your head. “We should wash up.” You sleepily shook your head, your eyes already drooping heavily. “There’s always tomorrow…”

He let out what was supposed to be a chuckle but ended up sounding more like a tired grunt. “Well, I suppose I like being here better.” He planted another kiss on the top of your head, adding more warmth to you that radiated from his body neck down. The slight discomfort you felt from being squished on your tiny couch amounted up to nothing as you cuddled up next to Seokmin. There was just something about him that could make everything feel right, no matter how bad it may seem.

“Seokmin.” “Yes?” “I still have no idea how this is all happening, but… I’m happy it is.” “... Me too, Y/N.” “I missed you a lot.” “So did I.”

A gigantic yawn escaped your lips despite your attempt to stifle it. His throaty laugh sent vibrations from his chest, another thing you were aware of in his full presence that day.

“You should go sleep, honey.” “But… I wanna talk to you. I finally have the chance to.” “We’re both worn out. It’s okay, just go rest.” “I don’t want you to disappear when I wake up.”

You slightly choked on your last words. He paused before leaning down just centimeters away from you. “I love you. I’ll always love you.”

And for the first time that night, you shared your first kiss after his sudden appearance in the morning. His lips were still soft and warm like the last time you remembered. The slow yet emotional kiss simultaneously sent chills down your spine yet warmed your whole being from head to toe. You felt drops on your cheeks, but this time it wasn’t your own. You knew exactly what that kiss conveyed, the words that neither of you could utter to fake the ignorance of the time ticking away. You slowly broke away, and your hands somehow ended up on the back of his neck.

“I’ll always love you too, Seokmin. Always.”

You both spent a while like that, your foreheads touching and holding on to the other for dear life. You didn’t want to believe that in just several hours, all of this could disappear as suddenly as it appeared. You wanted to take in everything about him; the way his eyes crinkled whenever he smiled, the soft smile he would always give you when he looked at you doing the most mundane thing, how his hands rested on your hips, the curve of his shoulders, everything. Simply everything. You eventually went back to your cuddling position and stayed there the rest of the night. Your late night talks with him once returned, talking about anything and everything. Before you knew it, it was already well into the early morning.

Your consciousness was rapidly slipping despite your fight to stay awake. This was the only time you could spend time with him, and your body just had to choose that moment to pass out. He noticed your failed attempts to prevent your eyes from closing and slightly giggled.

“Alright, little one, you should go to sleep.” “No, I… I wanna see you until the end.” “You can barely see me now with your eyes closing like that.” “I’m trying!”

He kissed the top of your head and made his way down your face. First, your temples, then your eyelids, your nose, your cheeks… and finished it off on your lips again.

“I’ll be here. I’m not going anywhere.”

You wanted to thrash against the drowsiness, but you could no longer endure it. Before you fully knocked out, he managed to mutter his last words.

“I love you… I’ll always be watching over you.”

Soft sunlight filtered through your window curtains. You lightly stirred and then immediately remembered last night’s events. Your eyes shot up instantly. Seokmin. Your body shoots up as quickly as your eyes did. And that was it.

You were the only one on the couch.

You scurried off the couch and hysterically called out his name. He was nowhere to be found, no matter how loud and how often his name rolled off your tongue. He wasn’t in the kitchen, the bathroom, nor your bedroom. He was gone without a trace.

You slumped down in the middle of your hallway, your sobs the only sounds travelling down the corridors. He was taken away from you once again.

Your body felt heavy as you tried to get back on your feet again. You loudly sniffled as you shuffled back to the empty living room where you spent the night. You stopped as soon as you saw the coffee table.

His phone and a note underneath it were staring back at you. You almost tripped over your feet making a beeline towards his things. You opened the neatly folded white piece of paper. The sight of his penmanship on its own was enough to tear you up, but not as much as the words he had written. You read his message and lifted a finger to trace his letters, as if you could feel his presence when he wrote them. You put down the note back on the table and turned on his phone.

The lockscreen was the selfie you took at the bowling alley. It deceivingly looked like you were the regular couple five years back. You could almost feel his smooth skin on your lips the longer you stare at the picture. You slumped back down and cried in your hands, the same ones that held your boyfriend’s not even 8 hours ago.

I hope you had a good rest, Y/N. I know you’ve been taunted by those dreams for so long, so I hope I was able to help you sleep well from the short time I was here with you. I could feel myself slipping away from reality when I felt you become at ease and come to terms with what’s happened, so I had to rush through this before I fully disappeared. I hope I gave you the best birthday yesterday. I’ll always love you, and I’ll always be with you.

Love, Seokmin

P.S. Turn on my phone one last time. I told you that you were beautiful as always.

[scarlct-vvitch]

Prompt: "Don't you black out on me!" - *half-conscious babbling* - "No no no, I have to get you home by 9. Stay awake, dumbass!" - *giggling grabbing for face/hair* - "Dang it! Why are you so adorable?!"

thank you very much! i am so sorry this took so long. I’m gonna start filling out more prompts soon! 

This is going to be ClintxNatasha highschool au bc HELL YEAH

(I changed it just a little bit. Creative liberty, right?)

“Hey. You.” a deep, lovely, scratchy female voice barked at him, accompanied by a sharp tap to his shoulder. 

Clint spun around, slightly surprised that he had heard anyone at all. The music was loud. What was even more surprising, however, was that fact that when he spun around, he came face to face with Natasha. 

Scary-as-fuck (and hot-as-fuck) Natasha. Nonetheless, Clint put on his friendliest smile. “Hey, Natasha.” he tried to say calmly, but it was a little awkward since he had to shout to be heard.

She raised an unimpressed eyebrow, then suddenly grabbed his hand and shoved something into it. Clint yelped, then realized it was his phone. He looked back up at her with a confused look on his face. “Uh, thanks?”

She rolled her emerald eyes, and the colored lights around her made them sparkle. “It’s been ringing nonstop.”

Clint frowned and looked at it. Sure enough, a total of eleven missed calls and seven texts from the house. That couldn’t be good. “Oh, um, thanks.”

She nodded once, and Clint thought the interaction was over, but she didn’t walk away. Clint started to look through his phone, hoping maybe she’d take the cue. Most of the texts had the same general message: get your ass home, now. After he was done reading the texts, he realized Natasha was still there. Slowly, he looked back up at her. She met his eye, as if her still being there was completely normal. 

“Do you need something else?” he asked.

She shrugged, her face eerily blank for their surroundings, but still nice to look at. Clint briefly wondered why she was here at all; she had never struck him as the partying type. Though she would be amazing at it. “Need a ride home, perchance?” 

Clint frowned again. Thirty seconds with her and he’d frowned more than he had all night. Not that she was making him sad, she was just…not as happy as their environment. He glanced down at his phone again. Eleven calls was a lot, but if he tried to call back now, he wouldn’t be able to hear anything. And a text didn’t seem sufficient for whatever trouble he was in for sneaking out.

And he was probably too drunk to get himself home safely. Because he was very drunk. “Maybe. What’s it to you?”

She shrugged again, and really, it was unfair that she looked so good when she did it. “I have a car.”

Clint paused. He’d been going to school with her for three years, and he’s never seen Natasha Romanoff volunteer to do something nice. “What’s in it for you?”

She gave him one of the fakest smiles he’d ever seen in his life. “I’m just trying to do the right thing.” she said through her teeth, making it hard to understand her.

Clint shrugged, not really caring. A ride was a ride. “Alright. Where’s your car?”

She blinked. This was obviously not the outcome she was expecting. After the briefest of moments, she put her face back into that blank expression, then wordlessly turned around and started to weave her way out of the crowd. Clint followed, with only slightly more difficultly because he kept tripping over everyone’s goddamn feet.

Eventually, they made it outside to…a red pickup truck with black hubcaps. Definitely not the car he was expecting, but once he saw it, he couldn’t imagine her with anything else. 

She quickly unlocked it and got in, then honked when Clint took more than three seconds to follow suit. He slowly clambered in and she started the engine, mapped the address he gave her, and they were off.

The drive was relatively silent, which was fine for a few minutes, then ended up making Clint antsy. Especially since he didn’t know why Natasha had offered a ride in the first place. It was only a little past midnight; most people didn’t willingly leave until at least one-thirty. Maybe it was a dare?

No, Natasha wouldn’t accept a dare, she wasn’t that kind of person. Well, she could be, but only if someone bet her she couldn’t do it. But even then, who would dare her? She wasn’t a party girl.

Clint blinked, suddenly connecting the dots.

“Did you offer me a ride so that you wouldn’t be leaving the party alone?”

Natasha said nothing, but her jaw flexed once. Clint smirked and giggled a little bit, earning a glare. He didn’t really care; he was drunk and had still figured it out. He turned out to face his window and let his head lean against the glass, still smiling.

“Don’t you black out on me.” she suddenly snapped, and Clint immediately started giggling again. 

“Why? Scared you’ll leave a bad impression on the parents if you carry in an unconscious high-schooler?” 

Natasha rolled her eyes, but she smirked. “Obviously. Gotta get you home by nine, all in one working piece.” 

Clint snorted. “I’ve already failed you in that department, I’m afraid.”

She looked over at him and raised an eyebrow. He pointed at his ear, and when she didn’t seem to get it, he popped out his hearing aid, showing it off before putting it back in, and he only almost dropped it twice in the process.

Nat looked surprised. Somehow, she was one of the few in school who didn’t know. After a second, she took her hands off the wheel and signed at him. 

How long have you had those? 

Clint looked at her with wide eyes, then signed back, four years. You know sign?

One of four languages. she signed back, somehow managing to sign and drive at the same time. Then they made a turn, and she couldn’t do both. “Are you completely deaf?”

“Almost. Hearing aids help a lot. Lip-reading, too.”

Natasha nodded, she looked vaguely impressed. Clint grinned, watching her face for that quick moment before it went blank again. He noticed that those moments were getting just a little bit longer.

Then they stopped in front of his house and it was all gone. Clint frowned; he hadn’t realized they got there so fast. Slowly, and now feeling a little nauseous, he got out of the truck, but hesitated on closing the door.

“Why did you go to the party?” he asked, then had no idea why he did.

She frowned at him. “I wanted to.”

“Yeah, but why? You don’t go to parties.”

“I’m–trying new things.” she forced out, then put the truck out of park. “Gonna close my door?”

Clint paused for just another moment. “Wanna try me?”

“What?”

“Not like that!” he quickly amended. “I mean, try me…on a date. Can I take you on a date?”

She was still looking at him like he was crazy. “Close the door, Barton.”

Clint frowned. He knew it was a long shot, but it still hurt. He stepped back and closed the door, but didn’t make any move to go into his house. 

Natasha didn’t move either. A solid minute passed before he saw her sigh and open the window. He moved in closer to see her.

Friday. I’ll pick you up at seven, she signed, and Clint’s face broke into a grin.

Really? he signed back.

Get off my car, was the response, but now she had that smirk again. Clint obeyed, and she drove off maybe a little too quickly.

Not that Clint cared. He had a date. With a hot girl. Who knew sign! 

Holy shit, what am I gonna wear?

tag list under the cut!

@simplyharryp @undoroos @lunarshores @scriptureofashes @dracoaries @ghostbbones @thatsociallyawkwardgirl @brnsbcky @im-a-beautiful-meme @nbspiderkid @crudforbrains

[dciji-blog]

( * shin deiji . )

scanning shin deiji, he is twenty-two years old and read as audacious but hazardous, which explains why he is referred to as the scelestic. before virtual reality he was battling multiple personality disorder and living in japan. he’s been said to look incredibly similar to park jimin, but he’s never seen it. in this new virtual world, he plans on finally taming his temper and hopes to never go back to reality.

trigger warning: multiple personality disorder, abuse ( physical, emotional, sexual ), death, murder, violence, blood, adoption.

heeeeeeey-ho, your favourite friendly neighbourhood loser sky is finally here to talk about her beloved Angel™. she/her, twennnnney & from cest aka gmt+2, a nerd. but !! i’m not important here, my baby is sooo i’m really fckn hoping you guys are down for reading some perhaps confusing shit bc i plan on rambling a lot eeek ok here we go.

ps. i hope no one is triggered by this. if you have a problem with any part of my bio, feel free to contact me but only if you genuinely have a problem with it & not because you wanna be an asshole. ok ty~!!

pss. i know that it might seem Extra, introducing so many dark topics here, but abuse, separation & depression are believed to be among the main causes of mpd, so they needed to be included.

psss. i won’t actually be portraying the mental illness itself. it’s only present in my love’s past.

GANG JINYONG:

of course shin deiji isn’t a real name. shin deiji doesn’t exist in reality. at least not with this face. the name they’d attach to his solemn features back home was gang jinyong. jinnie.

born twenty-two years ago on november 11th in ilsan, south korea, this scorpio was raised by a single mother with occasional, undesired appearances of his sperm donor ( his father, but he doesn’t deserve to be called that ).

he was a result of a loveless act, a drunken hookup that failed to turn into anything more. a product of reckless infidelity. his mom, min seo, was a college senior & the guy, jiho, was the owner of a local pub, a married man with two children. when she discovered that she was pregnant & that he was married & uninterested to help her with the baby, she threatened to ruin his marriage if he did not support her financially.

he did so during her pregnancy. she kept asking him for help even after giving birth ( naturally, bc her parents didn’t want to support her & she had to drop out of college so she had no income whatsoever. couldn’t work bc who’d take care of tiny jinnie then ? ). he found them a decent apartment & gave her a job at the bar. jinnie grew up in that bar and watched men catcall, emotionally & sexually abuse his v young mother night after night. he even witnessed jiho slap her a couple of times when she asked for a raise or complained about the regular customers being nasty towards her.

min seo, bless her soul, was a wonderful mother. she put her child first and would rather starve than let her kid walk around hungry. but during the years of torture she became very mentally ill & she would snap at jinnie during her breakdowns. afterwards, though, she’d fall on her knees in front of the tiny kiddo & apologise, kiss his little cheeks & forehead.

when he grew up, he became a victim of the drunks as well. i don’t feel like writing about that now, it was too nasty.

experiencing all of this first hand, more often than not, jin would lock himself away & daydream about a better life. either a life where he was capable of protecting himself or a life in which he was appreciated. those two were among many scenarios he’d get lost in. 

while he was still young he dealed with some blackouts & memory loss. he couldn’t figure out how he ended up standing in a particular room. he couldn’t remember certain conversations or things he had done. it was a rare occurrence at first, but as he got older & more plagued by tragedies, it became more frequent.

min seo, believing she was doing the right thing, gave jinyong away when he was eleven. he would’ve been taken away from her anyway, since she was deemed an unfit parent & jin was growing up in an unhealthy environment.

the separation made his illness even worse, it really did. that’s when he had the most alts who distracted him. however, all of them merged and then split into two, leaving jin only with jiu & jeaki.

he was adopted by won mina & jongin, who moved to tokyo, japan with him a year later.

he went to school there & was a remarkable student who was especially interested in nanotechnology.

personality-wise, he was more of a quiet type. not shy but he didn’t like to speak when he had nothing smart to say. blunt af, honest. though, still considerate & kind.

JIU:

the only major alt that survived besides his most prominent one, jeaki.

jiu loves fashion more than life itself. sometimes jin would wake up in piles of new clothes & then look in the mirror and see that his hair’s grey or pink   ------   that’s mostly how he discovered when this alt was in charge of his body. jiu always styled his host. other alts didn’t really care about that, but would sometimes sigh at jiu’s extravagant fashion choices, cashmere suits & silky scarves, while going through the closet.

jiu wasn’t delusional, he knew he was not actually a fae prince, but he liked to view himself as one. no one ever praised him, so he took it upon himself to praise himself.

he was created to battle sexual abuse & the depressing lack of love jin was dealing with.

sweet af. pure. heart of gold. god of love. lecherous. classy.

heart-shaped sunglasses. dimmed lights with a rosy glow. tasty, edible lip scrubs. summer.

JEAKI:

main alt. he came when jin was feeling helpless. when anger was bubbling inside of him & ached to be released. he was initially envisioned as a protector of both jinyong & his mother, but soon jin could no longer control him & jeaki became a separate personality with a mind of his own. he started appearing more when jin moved to tokyo to live with his adoptive parents. with a tongue as sharp as a razor & steel knuckles that aren’t afraid to fight back, he failed to manage his wrath whenever he was present.

he was aware of his host & other alts and he wanted to do everything he could to be the most superior alt, often engaging in conflicts with them in jin’s mind even when he was not controlling his body. he managed to consume a couple of minor alts.

he’s not your typical murderous alt you know in media. no, he was never violent just because and he was never aggressive when unprovoked. as i said, he was there to fight back for jin, who was too afraid to do it himself.

thunderstorms. static noise. heavy eyeliner. danger. sore knuckles. bruised skin. jumping out of a plane. taking risks. cats. glares. autumn.

the night of doom: jeaki didn’t have the time to change from jiu’s ridiculous clothes. he needed to go out & get some fresh air. he was angry. mina yelled at jin because of a bad grade, not knowing that he, jeaki, took that test insted of jinnie. jeaki was the one feeling worthless so he needed to go out & cool down. but when his anger management issues combined with a street thug calling him out on his ( jiu’s ) fashion choices & using slurs ( reminding him of his days back at the bar in ilsen ), he could only see red. he started a fight without the intention to end a life, but that’s what happened.

TRANSITION: 

jinyong came back to his senses in the middle of the street with dirt & blood on his knuckles & face, beaten, but without a sign of the other’s body anywhere around him. he had no memory of what had happened, but he was having a panic attack & didn’t trust his adoptive parents enough to ask for help.

not long after that jinyong was tracked down & supposed to be charged for murder but a psychiatrist managed to prove that jin had dissociative identity disorder, so they placed him in a mental hospital.

alone, terrified & clueless of jeaki’s deed, jin cried his eyes out in his room in the hospital, until everything around him started pixelating.

SHIN DEIJI:

present day. no, there was not an epic war between alts & their host in order to determine who’d be the cured version of him in this world. it was peaceful. fragments of jin, jiu & jeaki merged in order to form a boy who thoroughly knows himself, but doesn’t know how he’ll react to anything. the voices from his head are gone   ------   they all speak at the same time when he opens his mouth.

seeing how he’s the perfect harmony of the three boys that used to live in his body, he couldn’t choose one of their names. he also didn’t want to be associated with anything from his past. that’s when he adopted the name shin deiji, deiji meaning daisy, his mother’s favourite flower. he might introduce himself to you as daisy rather than deiji if you don’t speak korean.

depending on what kind of person you are, you will be shown an appropriate side of deiji’s personality. so, when a couple of different people sit down and start talking about deiji, they might realise that it sounds as if they’re talking about different individuals.

he doesn’t trust people easily. he’d rather die than let anyone lay a poisonous hand on him again. he sticks up for himself. he’s his own protector and best friend. he’ll play you before you even think about playing him.

him not trusting people doesn’t mean he doesn’t engage in various interactions with them. he loves to charm his way into people’s lives because he’s no longer scared that he’ll blackout & do something that he won’t remember afterwards. something that he won’t be fully aware of & unable to control.

hooo, boy. he’s so angry. if you’re rude to him, he’ll be twice as rude to you. always wants to one up others. always. if you’re playing a game ?? he will lie & cheat & do everything to win. then lie about lying & cheating. if he still loses, expect a hissy fit.

god. affection. give this boy affection. would 11/10 die if someone cuddled him. especially when he’s being Extra with his raging, burning anger. he’d just ... melt tf away.

loves to party ?? he doesn’t have to take his medication anymore, but that doesn’t mean that he’s going to drink and get high every chance he gets. get those nasty substances away from him. they took his mother away.

he’s forgiven his mother for every single bad word she directed towards him bc he knows what it’s like battling a mental illness. he’d give anything for a chance to see her again & tell her that he loves her.

nanotechnology is still the love of his life & he’s still such a nerd and wants to know what tf is up with this virtual world & figure out how it works but like ... he’s a scared bambi that fears that he’ll get sent back to his own personal hell if he tries to figure out what’s going on.

so rly what he’s focusing on rn is becoming an actor because he has all these FEELINGS that need to be expressed without having a poor individual who’d be hit by that tidal wave. he rly wants to act, he thinks that will help him a lot. the idea of finding roles that would fit each of the personalities he previously consumed makes him all giddy.

pansexual & rly just a sexual person afaf.

so ... basically what i’m giving you here is a screaming nerd who loves to flirt. ok. should’ve only written that. rip.

if you’re still confused: he no longer has mpd. call him deiji/daisy. don’t yell at him. unless you want bad shit to happen ??

if you’ve read all of this, you’re my new best friend & i love you more than anything glrwbgowgo. come plot with me !!

[queerprincessfromhell-blog]

Do all of the emoji asks!!

omg that are so many /o\

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

Idk I don’t think there is anything and even if there was Im pretty sure I wouldn’t want to post in on the internet?

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?

This is probably about someone I wouldn’t normally hug but it’d just be someone I adore like a good friend or my boyfriend. Maybe someone I haven’t seen/hugged in a while like Resa or Isi or Bekki? Idrk I actually do hug almost anyone when I get the chance.

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

My only Pokémon experience has been playing Pokémon GO for a few weeks tbh but I thought Evoli were pretty cute and I liked Glumanda and Bisasam I think? Oh and Shiggy!

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?

A mess. I shouldn’t be in charge of anything, I’d just make it worse :’D

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?

Uhm…idk I thik I had one a couple months back but I don’t remeber what it was but when I was a kid I dreamt there wuld be a huge police car in our flat and it took me like three years to be sure it was just a dream.

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

That she always just wants good and that she always cares for other people

😘 talk about your crush or partner

He’s super adorable and he gives the best kisses. He is very consistent in his opinions, he can draw, he actually manages to make me feel good enough for him, he is kinda obsessed with some things including fob and Harvest Moon. When he talks about drawing or colours or pecils or something like that his whole face lights up and he gets really happy and excited, that’s super cute. He makes fun of me for everything but never in a way I would feel bad about. He’s super emo but also a literal sunshine, you just have to be happy when you’re around him. Also he radiates so much energy I don’t even know why. He has the best hair ever and super warm eyes (like…they look warm. Colour-wise. Not the temperature, you know? :’D) and he has freckles which looks ridiculously good. And he has the best smile ever.

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?

yes

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

I think I like my voice, like when I hear it in voice notes or something? Also my eyebrows and that I hug people a lot.

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?

That it doesn’t matter whether i’m there or not, whenever I feel like people don’t care when or even if I’m there it is the worst to me. But tbh I don’t know how to overcome it, I mostly just cry a lot and try to convince myself it’s not true.

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

Baking or dying my hair. Both stress me out a lot sometimes, especially when it doesn’t turn out the way I want it to but in the end the process makes me happy even if the outcome doesn’t. Also being in the sunshine.

💙 what annoys you about some people?

That they think they can get away with anything.

😤 do you get angry easily?

Depends on the topic. On some things I’ll explode immediately, with others it will take a lot.

🐇 what do you always daydream about?

I don’t actually daydream that much but i think about my boyfriend so much it’s kinda ridiculous, so if that counts as well…

And when I daydream it’s mostly about sunshine or something atm because it’s winter and I really want it to be light and warm again

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?

I would make people care more. About other people, animals, the environment etc

I would also make it easier for people to be open about the things they want to but are too afraid to.

And I would make everyone have basic human rights and necessities

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?

I can’t really do tha bc you didn’t send any names

✈️ what is your dream city and why?

I don’t know, I really like big cities in general, for the atmosphere and the vibe they give off, I’d like to visit as many as possible in my life, as well in Germany as in the rest of the world. But I can’t imagine to go away from cologne forever, I’d always come back here I think.

☕️ talk about your ideal day

I don’t really have one ideal version of a day, I love days I spend with my friends walking around cologne or sitting in a park, I love days I spend with my best friend in her bed, watching something or being on Tumblr, I love days I spend with my boyfriend, sitting in a cafe and have breakfast or drink coffee or sitting at home cuddling and watching something, sometimes I like days I spend baking a cake that is way to complicated for my baking skills…tbh there’s a ton of things that make a day ‘ideal’

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?

Ambivert I guess

💧 when was the last time you cried?

two hours ago

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

Sparks Fly - Taylor Swift

Summertime - My Chemical Romance

In Between - Linkin Park

In Pieces - Linkin Park

The Only Hope For Me Is You - My Chemical Romance

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

Making people see how it really is, because on the one hand it’s so sad when people beat themselves up about something they misinterpreted and stuff like that and on the other hand I hate it when people act so careless because they don’t see what they’re doing

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

Stand up for yourself and what you care about! You don’t always have to hide. Also who cares about ‘friends’ who only make you feel bad? You don’t need them.

💚 who are you jealous of and why?

People who are able to propely interact with other people without always feeling weird or wrong

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?

I’m not sure whether this is about what I would want to have more of, compared to the amount I have now or comapared to each other so I’m going to answer it compared to how it is now.

I’d really like to be more brave, I’m such a chicken for literally anything even though I’m trying to work on that. Also I don’t really want wealth in like, being wealthy but if neither of my parents would have to be worried about money ever again that’d be great.

🙊 what are you ashamed of?

I don’t really have one thing that I could name, sometimes there’ll be a thing I’m ashamed of and then I’ll try to forget about it :’D

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

I speak German and English and I’m learing Latin in school. I’d like to be fluent in English and I also want to learn Dutch someday.

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?

I think I’d like to be Luna Lovegood’s friend. Or Tonks‘.

☁️ talk about your dream universe.

I do’t think I understand the question :o I like stars and planets and stuff a lot and I love to read (nonfiction) about space if that’s what you mean :D

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?

I always try to randomly compliment people, hoping it will brighten up their day. Also I’ll buy some flowers for a friend of mine later.

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?

Maybe a angel because they have wings? idk, I like to be human actually

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike

I don’t wana talk bad about people like that

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately

I’d rather not actually because more people could read that than I’d be comfortable with

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

I wanted to be a teacher and an interior designer and a princess and a doctor and a lawyer….it changed a lot :’‘D right now I’m not really sure but I’d like to study social pedagogy or psychology or something  and work with children

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?

Cotton Candy and every kind of cake

🍑 what are you obsessed with?

Nothing at the moment, which is quite weird because I haven’t been obsessed with nothing for years. Maybe baking but not really

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed?

I get easily annoyed and I cry a lot

😪 what are you sick of?

idk nothing in particular I think. It happens that I can’t stand something atm tho

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?

Ususally not, even though I like it a lot.

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

I don’t even know which opinions are popular, I just see/read something and either agree or not

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person?

Well I wouldn’t consider myself a bad person but I’m rying to become a better person

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

Reading, sometimes I try to draw but it’s never good, I like singing a lot…

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?

Puhh I don’t remember, I do that pretty much all the time.Mabe Mr Brightside by The Killers?

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

I forget sometimes that other people are a person each on their own as well, I tend to generalize them (especially when I don’t know them that well/don’t talk to them that often) by accident and I try to consciously think about them as indivuals with feelings and stuff

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

hearts, stars, boxes, people…pretty much anything

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams?

nothing

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you?

I had to google what this is and I just made a test and tbh, I don’t know :’D Apparentliy I’m ISFP-T, whatever that means

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!

you didn’t send any people :(

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?

Gerard Way, Carrie Fisher and Gronkh because they have all created/been part of things I love a lot and have loved for a long time and all of them are actually good people

🐴 opinion on __?

again you didn’t send anything, sorry xD

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?

I can be quite emotional but I am not necessarily. That really depends on the situation.

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them.

Loveletters to the Dead by Ava Dellaira

The Bookthief by Markus Zusak

Ein kalter Strom by Val McDermid

but I don’t know any quotes, I’m sorry :’D

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

I mostly cry, that helps sometimes and if that doesn’t help I try to distract myself. That helps most of the time.

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad?

That it is never as bad as it seems or at least it will be over soon

🌍 which country do you live in?

Germany

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

kind, affectionate, stubborn

🐵 which quotes changed you?

I don’t think there’s any quote that changed me as a person

💭 do you keep a diary?

I treid a few times but it never worked

💫 who inspires you?

Valerie inspires me to work on becoming the best version of myself

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?

Yes, why not?

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

Pretty much everything black plus a lot of oastel things/things with lace/squares

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

I don’t really like films but Deadpool was nice, I like Star Wars, Pirates of the Carribean, Alice in Wonderland, Charlie and the chocolate factory and I recently started watching xmen with my boyfriend, they were good as well

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?

being at my grandma’s and going outside with my sister to play that game we always played when we were there and going to the funfair with my grandma…tbh pretty much anything related to my grandma, she was the person who was most important to me as a child

🐱 what’s your dream pet like?

Either a cat or a dog but definetly very cuddely :D

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be?

I’d love to meet The Doctor tbh, not to be his companion or anything, just meet him :D

[rebeccahpedersen]

Hot Condo of the Week: 2 Fieldway Rd #608

TorontoRealtyBlog

Welcome to Network Lofts!

This condo loft was developed by Alterra & Finner Space Corporation and registered in February of 2010.

It has 13 storeys and 205 units, and is managed by Nadlan-Harris Property Management.

One of Toronto’s most iconic hard loft conversions!

This 900 sqft, 2-bed, 2-bath loft boasts gorgeous century-old reclaimed red brick, 10.5 foot ceilings, master ensuite bath,and an awesome entertaining area.

Large living room with huge picture window facing south and city view, spacious dining room, and chef’s kitchen with granite counters, and double oven.

Parking and locker included.

Let’s take a look!

Price: $499,900

Taxes: $2,511.11/2016

Bedrooms: 2

Bathrooms: 2

Maintenance Fees: $519.05

Apx Sqft: 900-999

MLS: W3722939

Parking: Yes

What do you think about our Hot Condo of the Week? Yay or Nay?

The post Hot Condo of the Week: 2 Fieldway Rd #608 appeared first on Toronto Real Estate Property Sales & Investments | Toronto Realty Blog by David Fleming.

Originated from http://ift.tt/2lBlSoY

[rebeccahpedersen]

Hot Condo of the Week: 2 Fieldway Rd #608

TorontoRealtyBlog

Welcome to Network Lofts!

This condo loft was developed by Alterra & Finner Space Corporation and registered in February of 2010.

It has 13 storeys and 205 units, and is managed by Nadlan-Harris Property Management.

One of Toronto’s most iconic hard loft conversions!

This 900 sqft, 2-bed, 2-bath loft boasts gorgeous century-old reclaimed red brick, 10.5 foot ceilings, master ensuite bath,and an awesome entertaining area.

Large living room with huge picture window facing south and city view, spacious dining room, and chef’s kitchen with granite counters, and double oven.

Parking and locker included.

Let’s take a look!

Price: $499,900

Taxes: $2,511.11/2016

Bedrooms: 2

Bathrooms: 2

Maintenance Fees: $519.05

Apx Sqft: 900-999

MLS: W3722939

Parking: Yes

What do you think about our Hot Condo of the Week? Yay or Nay?

The post Hot Condo of the Week: 2 Fieldway Rd #608 appeared first on Toronto Real Estate Property Sales & Investments | Toronto Realty Blog by David Fleming.

Originated from http://ift.tt/2lBlSoY