#bc i'm so fucking tired and i'm almost sure this cat will die as well

[bat-the-misfit]

(TW: depression, animal illness and death)

as someone who was diagnosed with depression years ago i wouldn't be surprised if my psychiatrist suspected i am depressed again

[laughing-with-god]

Hi!!! I've just started following you (yandere is my guilty pleasure, so thank god I found your blog) so I don't really know if you take requests or not (I think not), but would you consider, anytime in the future, doing a yandere fanboys but with exo? I loved the BTS one and I'm curious to see how an exo one would turn out ❤️❤️❤️

BITCH I WAS AN EXO-L BEFORE ANYTHING. (Tbh I consider myself more of one than an army but that’s controversial so👀🤫)

Suho- Supportive stan. Buys anything and everything concerning you and your group. The type of guy to buy multiple copies of the same merch or album bc he just wants to support his baby. Has went to multiple fanmeets and concerts, you have seen him many times. Isn’t a big fan of social media but just got an account to follow you. His friends know that whenever they hang out with him, they’re gonna have to catch an earful about the latest thing you did. Tries imitating little catch phrases or stunts you’ve done on variety shows or V-live. Doesn’t participate in fan wars bc he’s classy but if someone said anything negative about you, he would def just make an disgusted face and leave their presence. KING of sending gifts, has handed you a few small ones during fanmeets.

Lay- Very sheepish about his love for you. Buys all the merch and music but doesn’t let people know how big of a fan he is. Practices your choreo and songs, even has his own manlier versions for your performances. You’re the inspiration for any love songs he writes/composes from that point on. He tries to act like how he thinks you would want in a man. If he thinks you like the gentle type, then he’ll practice acting more coy and content. If he thinks you like a manly man, he’ll hit the gym and act more bold. You’re his ideal type of woman. for the few times he did try to date after discovering you, he couldn’t stand women who didn’t resemble you in any way. His wardrobe will change to alter himself into your style. He doesn’t really notice it, the progression happens naturally/subconsciously. His dream is to one day perform with you.

Chen- Everyone within a five mile radius will now how obsessed this guy is with you. Hums your songs everyday while doing mundane chores. Excitedly squeals whenever you update any social media, not caring where the fuck he is. Regularly posts covers of your songs. You’re his phone background, iPad, Apple Watch, laptop EVERYTHING. Dances excitedly whenever he hears your music. Denies being a solo stan, but like he ain’t fooling anything bc he mainly only belts out YOUR lyrics and only half-assedly hums along to the other members’ lines. Not above getting nasty if someone attacks your reputation. Very protective as well, HATES dating rumors with a passion. Really wants to collaborate with you.

Chanyeol- Thinks he is being slick about his love for you but tbh he is not. Religiously streams your music, wears merch and will refuse to leave the house if you were gonna make an appearance on tv bc HE CANNOT MISS IT DAMMIT. Covers your songs, all acoustic. Comments on all your social media pics about how gorgeous you are. The type of guy to need at least a day of no one talking to him after you made a comeback bc he is just so flabbergasted. You will be his background and everything for any electronic he owns. The type to get livid if you looked like you were getting thinner or worn out by schedules. He doesn’t hate girl groups but he doesn’t like them either bc they are your competition. (Still hasn’t forgiven Twice for stealing that award from you). Boy groups annoy him though, will def be naive enough to believe all dating scandals concerning you. He now hates all of Bts, Wanna One, Got7 and half of NCT bc why were they looking at you with heart eyes at that award show?!

Baekhyun- Could shout his devotion to you from the mountain tops. Sings your songs more than his own. Bold asl, def the type to slip up while on Tv and admit he fucking adores you. (Suho will have his ass on a platter for that but like 🤷🏻‍♀️). Headass enough to copy your outfits, tells himself that he’s just completing the other half of the ‘couple aesthetic’. Would drop anything and everything to watch your insta live or check your lastest social media post. Chanyeol bought him a backstage ticket for one of your shows and baekhyun almost promised to give Yeol his first born he was so touched. Thinks he is being subliminal by adding little hints for his love for you on his insta captions but everyone knows what’s up. Sends letters and gifts your way, squeals so loud if you respond in any way. Already has your future kids names picked out. He tired to figure out what type of perfume you wore so he could spray it on his clothes to feel closer to you. Would die before he admits it to anyone.

D.O- Silent stan. His obsession with you is so well hidden. None of the members would even know about it until someone says something slightly offputting about you and Kyungsoo puts them in their place. Adoringly calls you his ‘wifey’ in his mind. Watches variety shows, movies or interviews over and over again. Almost every night. You know those ASMR videos with idols? He listens to yours to fall asleep. Your voice is just so soothing to him. Practices making your favorite meals. Trains himself to remember information about you. He hates thinking that there could be another fan out there who knows more about you then he does. Fav food, pet peeves, height, weight, blood type, school name, birthday ect. HE KNOWS IT ALL. sings your songs to himself often but doesn’t dare post covers. He personally finds covers to be really offensive. The only person who should be singing your songs is you. No other voice could top your delightful tone. Reads tips on how to be a good husband in preparation for you.

Xiumin- uwu stan. Tries to recreate your pictures for his own social media. Quiet but supportive of you, won’t openly blast your music when others are near but when he’s by himself? Hell yeah, sign him tf up. Wants to be your ideal man, starts dressing differently for you. Covers your songs and likes singing along with you on the radio bc he adores the sound of your voices together. Gets hella hurt with dating rumors, don’t mention it around him bc he’ll just get really silent and gloomy. Lowkey he can be pretty petty with other boys who lingered too long at you at events or award shows. Collects polloroid pictures of you, goes over them every night. Has dipped into fanfic about you once or twice bc it just fills this hole inside him. An insufferable urge to be with you. Gets a new cat and names it after you. (Unless ofc you hate cats and prefer dogs bc Xiumin would abandon his love of cats for you)

Kai- He wasn’t sure how it started....okay that’s a lie. Jongin first just thought you were a really fashionable and chic idol. He kept an eye out for you just bc you were very different, but then it grew into an infatuation. He stopped watching you simply for fashion reasons and started watching you bc he was just so enchanted by you. You could advertise a product and he’d the type to go buy it just bc it’s you advertising it. It could literally be something so stupid, like a dish sponge but Jongin would still quietly go out and buy 15 bc like your face is on it....he hates dating rumors concerning him. Like when fans pair him up with Jennie or Krystal, he gets pressed bc like obvi it’s YOU he should be with not them. Very terrified of the idea you could come across his dating rumors and think he’s not loyal to you.

Sehun- Proud, certified Y/n trash. Would wear your merch everyday if he could. His most played songs are all from you. If you ever were on a movie, drama or tv show then they would immediately be his favorite, binge watches it multiple times. Changes his style to fit your aesthetic. Would burn his entire wardrobe if it didn’t suit your tastes. Watches your social media very closely. It’s pretty obvious to other people that he likes you bc you’re literally the only person he follows on insta. Copies your posts for his own account. (I.e; the Miranda Kerr incident👀) He monitors what other people say about you, once got into a heated debate with a nitizen in an effort to defend your honor. Wants to start his own fan café for you. Can and will send expensive gifts your way. The type of guy to look up your guys’ astrological signs and read the compatibility reports. Helps him feel closer to you. If you ever came on screen while his dog was nearby, he point and say “Look vivi, it���s mommy!”

[threemoonsareshining]

i read through all the 'get to know me uncomfortably well' questions and honestly i couldn't pick because i'd love your answers to any of them so idk just answer the ones you feel like answering? is that allowed in these ask games? idk i'm making it allowed (also have a great day!) xx

Hi!!!!!! Oh my god you’re blessing my night with this message because let’s say... I haven't had the best day today, and I’m sure that’s allowed in these ask things, i mean are there even rules? I do’t know how many i’ll be able to answer but I’m going all in so let’s go

2. How old are you? 19 such an ugly age let me tell you

4. What is your zodiac sign? taurus and i’m not really into astrology and stuff so i don’t know if i can relate to my sign or not

5. What is your favorite color? i really like earthy tones, and i’ve always loved dark colors but i’m trying to broaden my horizons in terms of colors, unsuccessfully this far

6. What's your lucky number? i’m not sure if it brings me luck but i’ve always loved the number 5, maybe bc it’s my birthday, i think it’s really nice overall

7. Do you have any pets? yes!! i have 2 cats, i love them so much even though they’re not the friendliest cats in the world you know. I used to have fish but they kept dying not matter how hard i tried! It makes me a little sad but in the end it was just too much work and if i wasn’t able to take care of them properly i’d rather have no fish honestly

8. Where are you from? i don’t like to say these things but i think it’s pretty obvious if you pay a little attention to what i post every once in a while

9. How tall are you?i’m 1.64 or so, which is like… 5.3-5.4??? I’d like to be a little taller tho

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? I don’t own many, this year i bought some winter shoes but i just realised all my summer ones are either a little too used or i just don’t like their style anymore so yeah i should do some shopping (if only i had time to do that hah!)

12. What was your last dream about? i don’t remember very well but i think i saw my economics teacher riding a bike with no pants after i’d been fined by the police for having a water balloon war in the middle of the street, I wasn’t happy about that. I’ve had many dreams i was able to remember these last days, but they were more like nightmares i’d say, many of them about being kidnaped, other studies-related (i failed my math test again, i had to retake my college-access test… just terrible), and other were with people i actually know, which wasn’t the best thing ever honestly

15. Favorite song? Plant life by owl city, i’m going to paste the answer i wrote to explain why it’s my favorite (Plant Life by Owl City, that song just describes my soul at a spiritual level, like I could choose 1564 other songs by Owl City that describe me as well but this one is the one that I can relate to when i’m going through the worst times, but also gives me the hope that things will get better idk. And it’s funny because I still loved it before I had the level of English to understand the lyrics, and then I found out what they meant and i was like “woah this actually speaks to me in a way i can’t explain” it was a really weird feeling idk, that song is just me)

16. Favorite movie? billy elliot, actually it’s been a really long time since i last saw it. I remember i watched it like 7 times in a row in one week when i first saw it, i just loved it so much

17. Who would be your ideal partner? Just… someone that i’m 100% comfortable with, which should be a given, but apparently that isn’t that easy to find. Idk i’ve been thinking a lot about this lately basically because some of my coming decisions are going to be based on who i want as a partner, obviously not in a serious-for-life way, but in a way that i deserve right now. I’d like to have someone that doesn’t make me feel inadequate like almost everyone does, that doesn’t make me feel like a temporary asset in their life until they get want they want for me and just don’t care anymore. I don’t know, recent experiences have made me realise I need to figure out what I want and fight for it, not settle for someone just because it’s convenient, or because i don’t want to be alone... because in the end, if someone is making you feel like shit for being who you are and it’s acting like you are not important, even though they’re willing to be with you (even if it’s just for the physical part) that clearly makes you feel even more lonely

18. Do you want children? I’d say my #1 fear in life is getting accidentally pregnant (i know that shouldn’t worry me that much if i use protection and stuff), i meant a good reason i’m so wary of having sex is because i’d go crazy just considering the possibility that the condom failed or something. I think this answers the question, i really don’t want children, idk if i’d be able to take care of a kid, and above all, i don’t want to. Every time i see a kid in the street or in the public transport i pray he/she doesn’t interact with me because i just find it so so so difficult to be nice to them, basically because i don’t know how . Then i also look at their parents, their tired look, and don’t get me wrong, I’m sure they love their kids and all but I don’t think everyone can find happiness in having kids, and I don’t think I’m one of those people that won’t feel complete until they have kids or stuff. Furthermore, I’m not willing to sacrifice my body and to suffer the pain of giving birth, that doesn’t even cross my mind. So if I consider the possibility in the future i think I’d adopt.

20. Are you religious? I already answered this so I’ll just paste it I’m sorry this is so lazy (i was raised catholic and as a child i was really really devote, i truly believed in god. But you know, as years go by, then you find out you don’t agree with a lot of things the Church preaches (being in a catholic school doesn’t help, i will never forget the day i heard a priest telling literal 7-year-old girls that their only duty in life was to have children). My environment was really really conservative and I was lucky to somehow realise how fucking wrong some of the stuff they were teaching us was, sadly, i still see a lot of kids in my school being brainwashed… it’s crazy to see the way some families think. Anyways, that contributed to me getting distanced from everything religious-related. Now i could say i’m somewhere between agnostic and non-practicing. I still pray every once in a while but i’m not sure if i truly believe it or it’s just out of custom, i just feel too hopeless and detached from everything to believe there’s something greater than us… this question is too hard!)

24. Baths or showers? I used to hate taking showers just because I didn’t have the strength to go through all the process of taking a shower but I’ve been trying to fix this mainly because 1) Personal Hygiene and stuff 2) Even though i don’t have the willpower to do it, i always try to think about how nice it feels to be clean after a shower, or how relaxed you are (even if it’s for a short period of time) after taking a bath. So yeah I don’t like either of them but they’re obviously necessary

26. Have you ever been famous? I haven’t been famous but I’ve been mistaken for a famous people more than once. The first time i was very young and a man asked me if i was that girl (idk who) that was on tv and I said no, and the other was more recent, last year, when someone mistook me for a youtuber

28. What type of music do you like? I love instrumental music, specially orchestral but i also adore celtic themes. And i hate to admit it but i love electro pop, the owl city - type, even though many people (aka my dad) may think it’s not the Best Quality, but i mean who cares at least I enjoy it

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? I’m a mess so most of the time I have a coffee so I don’t die of tiredness throughout the day and if i have time i eat some fruit and cookies, not a lot honestly, which isn’t the most healthy thing to do but hey idc

34. Have you ever fired a gun? No. I really, really hate guns.

37. Favorite swear word? I never swear in public, just when I’m alone, I don’t think I can choose any word!

38. What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep? Maybe 24 hours, the thing is that i sleep very, very little, but i always end up sleeping anyway

41. Are you a good liar? Even when I’m actually telling the truth there are people who don’t believe me so yeah hah not really

42. Are you a good judge of character? i’m really good at getting the vibes of people, sometimes i think i’m just overreading everything but a high percentage of the time i end up being right, so yeah not only regarding people but also with other aspects of my life… i like to trust my gut. However, i don’t always say it bc i’m afraid i might be wrong, but when my suspicions are proven, I’m like yeah i was right how weird hahahahhhhhhhhh, i amaze myself in this aspect honestly

46. What is your personality type? i think i’m intj, but i remember retaking the test a few months later and getting another result but yeah i can relate to the architect type, introvert, cautelous, focused on analysing rather than acting blah blah all that stuff (i love this stuff)

49. Are you an innie or an outie? Innie 4 life, because I’ve tried to force myself to be more outie and let me tell you that didn’t go well

50. Left or right handed? left!!!

51. Are you scared of spiders? I’m really scared of them but i also cry every time i kill one bc i feel sorry for her (but it’s either my life or hers i’m sorry) although most of the time when i see i spider i face my fear and i put in in a box or something to release it outside

52. Favorite food? i’d eat ice cream every day of my life for every meal all the time just give me all the ice cream

58. Do you have much of an ego? My ego is so tiny sometimes i forget it exists and let people step on it like it’s nothing

61. Do you sing to yourself? I perform to myself, i love singing alone in my room. I used to care about my neighbour hearing me but you only live once right

62. Are you a good singer? i wouldn't say i’m a bad singer, nor a good one bc the problem is that my voice is not very strong, so it’s very hard to hear me. But yeah, i’ve been complimented for my singing in some occasions, and i really enjoy doing it on my own (i still don’y know how i was able to sing in public the only time i have done it)

63. Biggest Fear? that i’ll keep missing stuff due to my anxiety, oh that and having unwanted kids obviously

64. Are you a gossip? it’s always interesting to hear stuff and be aware of what happens around you but i‘ve always said that things would be better if everyone just… minded their own business a little bit more, you can’t get mad at someone if they don’t want to tell you something, it’s their life and they don’t owe you all the explanations after all

66. Do you like long or short hair? i have really long hair and i’d love it if it wasn’t so so so hard to maintain… i’m pretty tired of it honestly and i know i said i’d be cutting and donating it this year but… it’s such a part of my identity (which is so silly but it’s true, i’m introduced to some people as “the girl with really long hair”) and… i don’t know i think i’ve enough changes this year, so i’ll keep it for a little longer

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? i’m so scared of the sea i think i’d die

71. What makes you nervous? sadly, even the most insignificant stuff makes me nervous, and apparently, ignoring them doesn’t mae them disapear! so yeah i’m basically suffering at all times due to stupid stuff, i’ve just learned to ignore it enough so it doesn’t interfere with the rest of my life (most of the time it works but it’s mentally draining now that i think about it)

77. Have you ever drank underage? I’m one of those people that can say that never drank alcohol until it was legal for me to do it, I didn’t do it even when my mom offered me something at family gatherings… yeah i think that’s the reason i drink so much now

80. How many piercings do you have? I don’t like piercings for myself (i obviously don’t have a problem with other people having them) but i just think it’s an unnecessary way of mutilating yourself (i hate needles)

86. What are you allergic to? Ironically, I’m allergic to cats, even though i have 2. It comes and goes, and it’s not serious, i sneeze a lot, my eyes itch a little sometimes, but i’m willing to pay that price for my cats honestly

87. Do you keep a journal? I do, but it’s been months since i last wrote mainly because i always feel like shit after writing, so now i can’t bring myself to do it, that’s why i post so much about my personal life in here, because i’m not able to journal but i also don’t want to forget about what happens in my life

90. What makes you angry? Anger is a weird concept for me. I get angry very often, but I’m angry in general, not at anyone in particular, I just find myself unable to get mad at someone, the anger instantaneously turns into sadness, so I don’t know what’s worse. If I’m being mean to someone (most of the time my parents are the victims) it’s not because of them, I’m just angry for no reason and I just can’t keep being nice.

Hey congratualtions if you made it till the end, i was really bored so i answered a lot. Thanks for the message again 🐱🐱🐱🌳🌳🌳