#bc i was in seventh grade and i didnt give a shit about progressions i just wanted to play sakura over and over and over again

[july-19th-club]

my thing about your hobbies is like........dont feel like you have to be like, an overachiever at them in order to enjoy them properly. you can stay an amateur or just chill in your own niche corner of the activity forever and if it makes you happy, that’s all it needs to do. i quit the flute a while back after years of playing because it felt like i was never “good” in the sense that i didn’t like playing complicated pieces or music that tested my fingering or my ability to sight-read quickly or learn music theory or anything like that; i just liked to play slow sad songs and screw around. and the lack of competitiveness led me to feel as if because i wasn't challenging myself i wasn’t good - because a true artist challenges themself, right? same thing with crochet and knitting; i just liked making stuff i could wear or gift and i wasn’t very interested in learning all kinds of colorwork or the more complex kinds of cables or pattern-making. 

i think maybe it’s like the saying “if you’re good at something, don’t do it for free” which is also sort of bullshit - if we monetized all of our hobbies they’d cease to be fun and start being something we were obligated to do in order to fill a demand. i’ve monetized my jewelry-making, but that’s because it’s something i can still enjoy both ways. i’d hate to sell crochet stuff; it would be too much work. and like....when it comes to writing, my actual job, i do want to challenge myself. i want to make my writing as enjoyable as possible, and that means i have to keep polishing it. but there’s no rule that as a hobbyist musician you have to learn virtuoso tricks in order to be good at music. fanfiction writers don’t have to constantly play with voice and perspective unless they want to; they can write every single fic in third person past about the exact same character and it doesn’t make them bad writers. maybe we all need to get back into a less competitive mindset and not only enjoy our hobbies without feeling the need to constantly build (unless that’s what draws us to them in the first place, you do your thing then, it’s your party) - but also know that we can be good at those things. without being competitive. that what you do know. is enough to be good.