#bc i kept trying to dig further and find if the cdc did anything i actually disagreed with or thought was irresponsible

[wormeats]

I fell for propaganda and was turned against those I have always wanted to root for

I wanted to send this to the CDC somehow, but the email contact form on their website has a character limit and I'm incapable of being concise. I thought this might be helpful for some people to see because it took me a while to reflect on.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, living in Florida, being young and trans and traumatized by the current political climate and dangers posed by the pandemic, I was swayed by likely a mix of propaganda and a fear and anger response to the amount of stress that time came with. I found myself trusting in the CDC less because of several things that I never fully examined until now recently. It was all just a mix of fear and hopeless rage about public health and my fears about our political climate, and much of that was directed at the CDC. Upon examining this recently, I think this was because I assumed the CDC had more power than it may actually have in enforcing public health. I thought isolation periods could be more solidly mandated, that mask wearing could be solidly mandated, and so on. I assumed the CDC had more control over when schools reopened for children (I now realize a lot of this is controlled by states individually or even more locally), and in my fear of the pandemic and distrust in the CDC sowed by being worried about the country as a whole, I even failed to fully weigh the consideration that virtual learning has a significant impact on Anyone’s mental health and that for children especially, social and emotional development should be fostered and that is an issue that gravely concerns mental health extending to the rest of their lives. I thought the CDC could require employers to keep allowing employees to have sick days when testing positive, so they wouldn't have to make a choice between risking their job and livelihood versus strangers’ physical health and possibly risking permanent damage or death for some with no way to tell (I'm grateful that the risk has been reduced so much by vaccines/boosters and being cautious with masking and washing hands, but I feel it is so important to allow isolation away from work when it concerns transmission and health and recovery). I particularly was swayed more into distrust when I heard that Delta airlines wrote a letter asking the CDC to update isolation periods for vaccinated individuals who would still be required to mask, believing there was no new data to give confidence to such a change in recommendations (10 day isolation period to 5 day isolation and next 5 days with a mask), but found there explicitly was reasoning given on the CDC update from that time available to view on the website’s archives (these have been very helpful because the time of all of this was an emotional traumatizing blur, so specifics are hard to remember). Before I examined this all more after the fact, this led me to believe that the CDC was influenced by economic concerns and the workforce instead of public health and keeping those workers alive and healthy, and furthered my distrust.

I am glad that now I have further examined where this distrust has come from and found that it was irrational on my part, and I regret that I carried on with this tainted view of the CDC for so long. I have struggled with this because I did have a strong trust in the CDC and felt more unsure of where I should find reliable information, knowing the CDC certainly has more expertise than I and has likely devoted a lot of time and research to any particular consideration I might come up with. I hope if others were similarly swayed by political propaganda that sought to utilize fear and stress from the pandemic, that they too come to reexamine how they came to think that way and find trust in this institution of scientists who are clearly passionate about public health and finding ways to keep all of us safe with many unpredictable variables to consider. I feel very ashamed that I allowed my trust in the CDC to be shaken to this extent. I hope scientific research, public health concerns, environmental concerns, and any crisis that requires humanity to understand facts and cooperate is taken more seriously and listened to from experts in each respective field and not turned into political opinions one way or the other. I am so devastated by all the damage COVID has done that feels like it could've been so preventable if this didn't become a political issue and remained a public health crisis to work through cooperatively. I have now come to see that I think the CDC did as much as it could through all of this with all of the consideration at the time and with its limited influence amidst political stress.

Thank you everyone at the CDC, I am sorry that I fell for this propaganda, and I would like to talk to as many people in my life about addressing propaganda and fully considering that no one is fully safe from falling prey to propaganda and biases we don't realize are tainting our full view. Thank you again so much for everything incredible that you have done for humanity. Be kind to yourselves everyone, shit has been so hard honestly.