#bc i can’t guarantee that i will be able to fully commit to this

[adarlingsnightmare]

Osamu Dazai Yandere Alphabet

this was requested by a lot of people and i wrote it awhile ago but am only posting it now bc i spent way too much time fussing over whether it was any good lol.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

One word: smothering. Dazai's idea of affection involves robbing you of your privacy and getting in your personal space as much as possible. He doesn't even care if you're not comfortable with it, so for anyone who doesn't like being touched, he's an absolute nightmare to be with. He especially likes to wrap his arms around your shoulders from behind and stand like that for as long as possible.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

As messy as necessary! He's more likely to get messy with you than with rivals, though. He is a sadist, but now that he has his precious darling this is all directed towards you, meaning his rivals get fairly swift deaths if Dazai does decide they need to die.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

As previously mentioned, Dazai is a sadist, and therefore loves to cause his darling pain whether that be physical or emotional. Despite this, he can act sweet and loving too, especially if you're not resistant. He does occasionally mock you, but it's not his main tactic of hurting you.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling's will?

Yes, definitely. His darling's wants and needs are completely meaningless to him. To his darling, he may even seem oblivious, but the truth is he just doesn't care. You said you don't want him to spike your drink? Oh, well that's just too bad.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Surprisingly, Dazai will actually be himself around his darling, rather than putting on a persona. He believes that since he loves you, you should know his true self. You're the only person in the world who will ever get to see the real Dazai, though that isn't necessarily a good thing. Don't get excited though, this doesn't mean he is vulnerable, in fact he is probably worse now he doesn't have to restrain himself.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Mostly amused. A part of Dazai enjoys someone who fights back and won't give in easily, in fact you could even argue he is somewhat masochistic since he gets rather excited by your anger towards him.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Certainly. Dazai is fascinated by human behaviour and watching you react to various torture and situations is his form of entertainment. He may eventually get irritated if you are constantly trying to escape, but he somewhat admires your resilience.

Hell: What would be their darling's worst experience with them?

Honestly, the whole experience is a nightmare because there is no chance of a good ending. Dazai can't be reasoned with, there are no compromises and it is guaranteed to end in tragedy. No matter how strong or smart you are, you can't escape. The best ending is for Dazai to kill you, because at least then your suffering will be over.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Dazai never expected to live this long, so he's never bothered thinking about the future before, even when it comes to his darling. However, if it came down to it, he'd probably want something similar to the 'typical' married life: a house, loving partner and maybe some kids. He wants to feel more human and he figures acting like everyone else is a good start. Although, despite these fantasies, Dazai will never actually be able to live this life due to who he is.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Oh, Dazai is the definition of jealous. He can't even handle the prospect of you thinking about someone else, let alone anything like actually talking to them. He has to be the centre of your world or he will literally go insane. He's not a hothead like Chuuya, so aside from a very tight grip on you and a dark glare, his jealousy won't be noticeable immediately. However, that's not to say he won't do anything about the situation — scheming on how he can ruin this persons life and if they really don't get the message, he supposes he'll just have to show them what happens to vermin who steal his darling's attention.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

He still retains some of his cheery and mischievous persona, but make no mistake, once he's got you trapped, he'll reveal a much darker side. He likes to act oblivious to your suffering just to wind you up— oh, you're crying about how you want to be let out? so... anyways, what should we have for dinner? — and takes pleasure in both your despair and your anger towards him.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Depending on which version of Dazai we're talking about here (Mafia or ADA), his way of courting will be different. If you meet while he's in the Port Mafia, he will be more creepy than romantic. Relying more on intimidation than charm, he'll spend his time sadistically toying with you and jumping out of nowhere to wrap his arms around you in a suffocating hold. ADA!Dazai is pretty much the complete opposite— overwhelming you with endless gifts (mainly pricey chocolate and flowers), reciting cheesy love poetry, flirting constantly and of course always asking you whether you'd commit a double suicide with him.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Definitely. While Dazai appears as a cheerful, suicidal maniac with a penchant for troublemaking, he is actually quite different. Around you he does retain some of his facade, but the cracks will show and it'll be undoubtedly unsettling. He deceives you with his sweeter, more carefree side, before he reveals the merciless, cynical person he truly is.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Punishing his darling is Dazai's favourite thing... much to the disdain of his darling. He'll punish you for just about anything and half the time he won't even explain what you've done wrong, simply wanting an excuse to have his fun. His punishment can take many forms, usually sexual, and always teaches you a lesson. The punishments you receive depend on whether we're talking about mafia!Dazai or ADA!Dazai, the former typically based around humiliation and the latter around degradation and pain. (I have quite a few ideas but I didn't want to write too much on this here).

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Rights? Freedom? What are those? You don't know because you haven't experienced the feeling of independence and being able to make your own decisions since Dazai took an interest in you. He's an unbearably jealous person so he can't allow you to even look at other people, let alone talk to them. Despite how much you prove your loyalty to Dazai, he will still refuse to loosen his suffocating hold over you and your freedom.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

If Dazai thinks it's worth it, he can wait for just about anything, so he is usually relatively patient with his darling. I say 'usually', because while he doesn't mind waiting, he prefers his darling to respond to his questions and advances instantly and you risk getting punished if you don't. Unfortunately for you, you'll never know how patient he's feeling so it's always best to just be alert and reply immediately when he asks you something.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

Definitely not. Dazai's life felt pointless until he met his beloved darling, so you leaving/dying would absolutely destroy him and increase his suicidal tendencies tenfold. Without his raison d'être what point is there in continuing to live?

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Guilt? Why on earth would Dazai feel guilty? He needs his darling to be around him pretty much 24/7 and kidnapping is the safest option for everyone, why should he feel guilty? I mean, who knows what kind of havoc Dazai would wreak if he couldn't have you by his side...

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Dazai's own ability describes exactly just how disconnected from other people he feels, so it's no surprise that he doesn't really understand love. It's the curiosity of what it's like to be human — to be like everyone else — that will compel him to pursue his darling to the point it develops into an obsession. You'll also have to be different enough to keep his attention, perhaps being eccentric in your own way or being extremely hard to read. He can't feel genuine love, at least not like others do, but he can feel intense obsession and that may be even more dangerous.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Unsurprisingly, Dazai enjoys his darling's tears and despair, being the sadist he is. However, he only likes it when he's the cause of your pain or distress, if you were crying because of someone else it would infuriate him to no end.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

He appears like the typical delusional and deranged yandere, but he's actually very calculating and certainly lucid. He's fully aware of everything he's doing and how wrong it is, but does he care? Not in the slightest.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Honestly, it's hard to think of ways you could escape Dazai as he is extremely smart and unlike some other yanderes, no matter how compliant you are he will never let down his guard in the slightest. The only possibility is to kill him: whether that's by poisoning his food, smothering him in his sleep or biting down so hard on his neck he bleeds out. Either way, resorting to murder is the most plausible way of escaping.

Wit's end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Of course! What's the point of being with your beloved if you can't inflict a little pain onto them? Pain will be a daily occurrence for you as nothing is more melodic to Dazai than your cries of pain.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

While Dazai doesn't worship you per say, he does see you as ethereal— an angel that he feels compelled to ruin. Since doesn't see himself as human, you are very different to him in his mind. He wants someone else to feel as inhuman as he does, which is why he takes great pleasure in destroying your humanity. He isn't worried about winning you over either; he may appear like he is trying to do so, but he knows that if you don't return his advances he can just make you love him.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

As mentioned previously, Dazai can be very patient when he wants to be and has no problem playing the long game if he feels it is necessary. He won't kidnap you immediately: preferring to slowly worm his way into your life so that by the time you realise his true, much darker intentions, it's already too late to escape.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Well, he wants to mould his darling into the perfect submissive little kitten, so yes it is likely he would break them down until all he had to do was rebuild them in the image he wanted. Even if you genuinely love him back and want to be with him, Dazai will still tear down your mental stability to the point of complete reliance on him. He's never experienced any real love from another person before or been in an actual relationship, so it's safe to say his views on love are a little skewed. However, after he had completely broken you, Dazai would feel the closest he can to regret. He doesn't actually want you to be a lifeless doll, but unfortunately he only realises this after you're already too far gone.

[troglobite]

not me lowkey following a bunch of VAs on twitter //eyes emoji

listen every time i see a CASTING CALL i’m just like !!!!!!!!!!

i can’t do it rn. i don’t have the time or the equipment set up. 

but i WANT to. and once i’m done with my degree you bet your ASS i’ll be throwing myself into some VA stuff. courses, communities, casting calls, etc. 

also will definitely be buying mics and set ups and researching that shit of course.

it won’t be my only income bc it’s not even remotely guaranteed income, i’ll have a job to work around, but it’s a really good freeing job

ANYWAY

i just. i see these things and i’m like “oh. oh my god. they’re looking specifically for nonbinary people. I’M a nonbinary people!!!” lol

so i’m just like. i wanna do small time stuff. fun stuff. weird stuff. i gotta, anyway, to cut my teeth. but i don’t wanna make a HUGE career out of it.

but if i get my name out there in the smaller circles then it’ll also overlap with TTRPG circles

and then i can get hired to play paid/arranged games/campaigns and my GOD do i really wanna do that

get paid for playing dnd and other systems? fuck yes. yes please.

that’s the dream, to do that extra stuff for fun, to be able to turn down and accept jobs when i need/want them and have the time.

the goal of course is to work at writing centers and/or as a professor at community colleges. additionally, i want to work in theater. and i JUST THINK that working as a VA and TTRPG professional player as well would be really good experience for that.

i’m getting my MA in shakespeare and looking at LGBTQ shit and theater stuff and race etc. so like. practical and academic knowledge and experience.

idk this is what i want.

what i want sometimes/often changes. 

but this one has been. pretty steady for a good long while at this point. and i think the thing that scares me off of stuff that i say i want to do is the COMMITMENT.

i’m not often a commitment-phobe sagittarius, but i think wrt my career choice, i am.

i wanted to be a photographer for a while, a marine biologist when i was a kid, a fully tenured professor, a writer, an actor, a director.

and like the thing is

all of those things require a lot of years of experience and education

and i’m honestly? not down for that. i don’t wanna pursue something for YEARS and then be LOCKED IN, struggling to find joy in something i once loved.

jack of all trades isn’t a bad thing imho

i’ll do enough to get smalltime VA gigs

i’ll do theater at community colleges, and maybe i move onto bigger stuff, maybe not. 

i’ll teach at community colleges. more variety, a steady routine for each quarter, no high stakes of higher academia. 

i could also be a writing consultant or tutor. flexible hours, variety, low commitment. 

i could also maybe try and offer freelance editing services. i’m good at that, requires some commitment and paperwork, but could be workable. depends on how i file everything. 

TTRPGs would also be great, bc it’s intermittent work, as well, that’s really fulfilling and fun. and now thanks to the pandemic, ppl are going to realize that working remotely is fine and possible for these things. 

AND i also live near a large city where there might be offices of some certain companies and there might be opportunities there, as well

same with VA stuff and theater stuff and teaching stuff

anyway idk i’m just rambling now

like i saw a casting call for a short student animation production that specifically wanted at least one nonbinary VA and it was paid. just $75 but that ain’t too bad. 

if only i had the time, experience, technology, and the set up. alas.

but maybe some other time!!! idk i’m rambling

[dayoung-remade]

tea on all moon signs 👀 ,, and also i !! really !! love !! your !! blog !! my heart flips everytime u post ajhssjsjdj 😤💓💘💞💖❤

[organictaeyong]

boyfriend!junmyeon

• junmyeon is straight up boyfriend goals • the best boyfriend you could ever hope for • is a perfect gentleman at all times • prepare to feel completely loved and taken care of 24/7 • because he’s convinced that if you don’t, he’s doing something wrong • is overall very sweet, loves doting on you • you can 100% see the love he has for you in his eyes whenever he looks your way • (the other exo members joke that it’s gross) • ((they’re happy he’s happy, though)) • definitely is more traditional in his sense of romance • the type to bring you a bunch flowers on the first date • and stand in your doorway looking nervous • (also the type to not know whether or not to give you a kiss at the end of the date, so gives you a handshake instead) • ((will never live it down))

• probably embarrasses himself a lot • makes dad jokes and regrets them instantly • but you think it’s cute • you think he’s cute • even though he’s constantly making awful puns • that you’re fairly certain leave anyone within earshot cringing • he just makes you laugh a lot • like there’s rarely a time you’re not smiling when you’re together • which is most of the time • it’s rare to see one of you without the other • it’s become something of a running joke for your friends • you guys aren’t really joined at the hip or anything • it’s just you like spending time with him and he makes you happy • and he just loves being around you, is lowkey convinced you’re possibly the best person he’s ever met • thinks you’re his entire world honestly • worries about you a lot whenever he’s away with exo   • spends most of his free time texting and calling you • making sure you’re doing okay • eating well • sleeping enough • really you think you should be asking him those things • because you also worry a lot whenever he’s away • the two of you straight up exhaust the other members bc • “we’re literally away for tWO DAYS pull yourself together good god” • (kyungsoo has no time for it honestly) • doesn’t stop them from providing you with updates on how everything is going, though • sehun’s daily photo series of junmyeon eating breakfast is lowkey the only thing that keeps you going when he’s away • (okay, that’s a lie, but he really does look super cute when he’s still sleepy first thing in the morning) • is the kind of guy that is convinced that if you don’t have matching couple clothes, you’re probably not a real couple • “but y/n, it’s what all the cool kids are doing” • “idk why you wanna join in then junmyeon” • he wears you down without even trying to, and you end up with at least two matching shirts • junmyeon claims he picked them out with the two of you in mind • but you know for a fact that he was consulting with sehun on which were the most “stylish” • it’s probably how you ended up with some of the cringiest couple clothing on the planet • (because oh sehun always has some kind of a hidden agenda, usually designed to make you suffer) • you don’t want to hurt junmyeon’s feelings though so at least once a month the two of you dress up in your couple clothing for date night • and the two of you make sure to take lots of pictures with big smiles on your faces, so junmyeon can look back on them whenever he’s missing you • (sends them in the groupchat every single time) • ((you wish he wouldn’t, because you’re fairly convinced baekhyun is collecting them to somehow use as blackmail material at some point)) • guaranteed junmyeon is babying you 24/7 • probably doesn’t even realise he’s doing it most of the time • just loves being able to take care of you? • would 100% drop everything if you asked him to • well • within reason • the kind of boyfriend who would be at your house as fast as humanly possible if he found out you were sick • wouldn’t even think about how he might get sick himself • instead would show up with a bag full of medicine because he “didn’t know which kind was best !” • and make sure you were as comfortable as possible • asking you if you wanted some of the soup he’d brought with him • “kyungsoo made it so it’s really good” • and would just lie with you until you were feeling better • whether it takes a day, or a week, he’s fully prepared to hang around as long as you need him • (leads to you ending up forcing him out of your place, because as much as you love him, and as thankful as you are for him taking care of you, he does still have other commitments) • ((despite how many times he tries to convince you he can just forget about them for another day or two)) • (((also leads to him getting sick himself a few days later, and being kicked out of the exo dorm because “we don’t want to get sick, the two of you can suffer together, have fun!!”))) • is the type to be talking about you constantly • not even to brag or anything you’re just always !! on !! his !! mind !! • the rest of exo are fairly certain they know you better than you know yourself • sometimes they get tired of hearing about what you did that day that was just so !! cute !! or how you said something on your date with him and it was just so funny and “wait guys you have to hear this I swear it’s so good” • but it’s nice for them to see him so happy and content • because whenever you’re around it’s like there isn’t any room for the doubt to creep in • on whether or not he’s boring, or embarrassing • or whether he really deserves to be in the position he is now • he doesn’t think about any of that when you’re with him • only you and the future he hopes to have with you • (he highkey can’t wait to spend the rest of his life with you) • ((if you’ll have him, that is))

[agirlnamedally]

Allyyyy I start hsc on Monday and I'm supppppeeer nervous. I have been studying a lot but ofc enjoying my time with everyone at the library and talking etc. I'm stressing about my atar bc I really want to get in to social work bc I really wanna help people :((((( I wanna do psych but it's 99!!!!!

My tips for anyone starting Year 12/HSC/Senior Year:

Know that it’s perfectly normal to be nervous! I’m pretty sure I was scared to start VCE from Year 7 onwards, it always seemed like this giant, scary, looming monster that would destroy my happiness and suck out my soul like a dementor. Mostly, I just assumed I would have no free time, wouldn’t be able to keep up with the workload, and would fail absolutely everything.

Then, something funny happened. Year 11 came around and I realised… nothing had changed. The work might have been harder, but I had done the required training (aka Years 7-10) and was fully equipped with the skills to handle it. The transition from Year 10 to Year 11, and then again from 11 to 12, is really not that significant or scary! Your workload might increase a tiny bit, because (and in hindsight now I can look back and 100% support this) practice really does make perfect. Teachers don’t make you write 100 essays because they hate you and want you to be miserable or have no social life, it’s because they want you to be a good writer, but more than that, they know that the more essays you write, the easier it will be for you to write one come exam time. It will be less stressful, less terrifying and so much simpler to just regurgitate a piece of writing you’ve practically memorised because you’ve ingrained it into your memory throughout the year. That’s just an example for say English or Literature, but I think the same thing applies for all subjects, no matter how you’re tested. Practice makes perfect. Or at least, practice makes progress, haha.

Now, ATARs. Those finicky little bastards. I’m not going to tell you to forget about it, because I know that when I was in the midst of VCE it was always on my mind. I even had older kids, who had already graduated, constantly telling me how insignificant it was and that it wouldn’t matter one year from now, but I didn’t believe any of that. Now, looking back, I know that they were right. In terms of measuring your intelligence or potential for future career success, ATARs mean nothing. No matter what score you get, I promise you, you can go on and be anything you want to be in life. There will always be obstacles and challenges between you and your dreams, but if you want something and you’re willing to work hard and be nice to others, nothing can stop you. The only difference an ATAR can make is the journey and how you go about it. The only thing an ATAR determines is which course you might do. You might have your heart set on a dream course with a super high ATAR. If you want to shoot for that, go for it! Just know that if your number is lower, there are still ways to pursue it. You can take a gap year, travel, discover the world and find out who you are, uncover your passions, gain some experience. Do a TAFE course, start somewhere else, transfer. Defer it, reject it, volunteer somewhere, change your entire perspective on life, completely change directions. You still have the choice. Unis will often accept someone who didn’t get a first or second round offer initially as a mid-year enrolment, or you could do a semester or two somewhere else and then jump across and hopefully they’ll let you keep those credits under your belt. You may not even want to go to uni! There are many many options and paths you can take, don’t let a number limit or define your future.

Personally, I knew I wanted to further my education but wasn’t entirely set on any particular existing occupation. I knew my two favourite subjects were Psychology and Health and Human Development, but that I also enjoyed writing for English, so I could envision myself happily doing something that encompassed those things. For me, an Arts degree was the perfect choice because it allows you to dip your toes into many different areas of study, test the waters of various fields before arriving at a favourite – your major. The course I most had my heart set on had a pretty high entry score, one which I actually thought I had no possible chance of achieving, but I set it as my goal anyway because as I was so undecided, I didn’t want to ‘limit myself’ (typical Year 12 brain thinking). It worked out wonderfully for me, somehow I found the drive and ended up doing a lot better than I’d expected, really surprising myself (and probably everyone else) and guaranteeing a spot in the course. However, I wholeheartedly believe that had I not achieved the score I did, had I gone to a different university or course, or even taken some time off from studying, I would be just as happy. I would have found another way to continue learning, whether it be by sitting in a lecture theatre or travelling to see it myself. I could have enrolled in a different course, disappointed in myself and thinking it was only temporary, and ended up LOVING it. Maybe even more than this course! Who knows? These are the kinds of ‘what if’s and ‘maybe’s that make my brain want to explode. Being a human can be exhausting.

Whether you have a goal course you’re hoping to get entry for, a dream uni, hopes of studying abroad, a plan to defer for a year or no desire to study at all – but they’re all okay and all achievable! No matter what it is you want in life, there are ways to get there. Not just one, but limitless varying courses of action you can follow. One might be more direct, but it might also be more boring, or less challenging. It might grow you less as a person, or prevent you from meeting some really interesting people that another path will introduce you to.

Year 12 is an awesome time. It can be stressful, overwhelming, demanding, sleepless. It can invoke self-doubt, nostalgia, fear of plummeting into the depths of the unknown (your future) and leaving behind the safety and security of routine (your past). However, it can also be rewarding, exciting, bonding, enriching, growing and deliriously fun. I say delirious because there will definitely be times when you and your friends are so overcome with work and anxiety that you just have to laugh. Misery loves company and Year 12 is proof of that. Study dates are perfect for simultaneously motivating each other and collectively crying into the bowl of chocolate you just devoured. I’m probably not painting the best picture here, but seriously, it can be a terrific time.

If I could give you one piece of advice for entering VCE, it’s to maintain a balance. Balance in life is the key here, because otherwise you will either burn out from too much studying, fall behind from not enough, get sick from not taking care of yourself, or something else just as un-fun. When you’re studying, dedicate proportionate amounts of time or energy to subjects depending on their current level of significance. If possible, do assignments as soon as you get them, but prioritise the ones that are due first or worth the most. More importantly, ensure you have balance throughout your whole life, holistically. It’s just as important to take care of your mental, social and physical well-being as it is to reach your education goals. Make the time to keep active, even if it seems like there is none. I can’t even tell you how beneficial it is to get outside, clear your head and get your heart rate up. Endorphins are your best friend and a powerful stress-buster, so keep a pair of runners at the ready. If you’re not a fan of solo workouts, can’t stay motivated or simply don’t enjoy it, I highly recommend joining a team sport! In fact, I recommend this for everyone, because it’s beneficial to your mental, social and physical health. All at once. Plus there’s the accountability factor – you can’t just skip the workout or hit snooze when you don’t feel like it  - you made a commitment and your teammates are counting on you! Honestly being a part of a group like that will make you feel so needed or wanted, and it’s great to make new friends or connect with like-minded people. SPORT RULES. Taking care of your physical health also means nourishing your body with the right foods, getting enough sleep and drinking plenty of water – all the basics. Back to balance – it’s also essential to dedicate time to doing things just for you. Bubble baths are a great choice, there’s also reading, meditation, getting a massage or mani-pedi, having a movie night, seeing a friend, anything that makes you feel relaxed, happy and at peace. These are the things that keep you going! Imagine a pie chat, split into 3 sections. One section is school and schoolwork, one is health and fitness, and the last is dedicated to me-time or fun activities. The three sections represent mental, physical and social wellbeing = all equally important and necessary for not only success, but holistic health in general. If you’re feeling stressed out, look at which of the three sections might be out of balance. Are you not getting enough sleep? Have too much on your plate? Need some alone time? Not fuelling your brain and body with enough or the right nutrition? Try to keep these things in check and remind yourself that they’re all significant and deserving of your attention.

Most of all, know that VCE is completely unique to your own experience. Like karma, you will get out only what you put in. You can make it an easy time, just for socialising and blowing off class, you can dedicate 110% of yourself to studying every waking hour, never lose a mark and never see anyone else, OR you can have the best of both worlds and strike that beautiful, sweet balance.

Decide what your own goals are. Make your own rules. Ask yourself what motivates you, and then go after it. Use this time to challenge yourself, grow as a person and exceed any expectations, limitations or barriers that have been set by anyone – including and especially yourself. It’s an exciting time that you should definitely make the most of, because it will be over before you know it. I know it’s hard, but try to forget about ATARs, or at least diminish the all-mighty power and holy-grail presence that it can take. It’s just a number. If you try your best, that’s all you need to do. I have complete faith in you anon, 

YOU CAN DO IT :D

[pedroscurls]

Title: Love At First Sight? (Part 9.)

Character(s): Denny and Jess (fictional/original character). Summary: Denny has a sudden sense of realization from an acquaintance. Word Count: 2,769 Author’s Note: I added two gifs because why not??? Are you crying yet bc I certainly am :(. Also, if you want to add more tears, listen to All I Want by Kodaline then listen to I Won’t Let You Go by James Morrison while reading this. It’ll definitely hit you right in the feels. Also, I used some familiar quotes from Grey’s Anatomy so that solely belongs to Shonda Rhimes.  Tag list: @memphisgirl1977​ , @clinicalkayla​ , @lostxwanderess , @negan--is--god , @trashforwinchesters​ , @heartfulloffandoms

Gif belongs to @heartfulloffandoms and @mypapawinchester

“So, I told my mom about you.” I tell him, looking at the ships on the board game. We have been avoiding the subject of our last argument, but I knew Denny was still upset. He didn’t show it often, but I could tell when his demeanor changed when a nurse came in to check his vitals.

Denny looks over at me, smiling softly. “Oh, yeah? What’d she say?”

“She wants to meet you. I don’t usually tell her about my boyfriends because she tends to bring up the subject of marriage all the time. She married young. Had me young. I guess she assumed I would follow in her footsteps.”

One of the things I enjoyed about my relationship with Denny was that we were able to talk to one another without having to worry about what the other may think. Bringing up marriage was a risk I was willing to take. Besides, it didn’t seem like he was going to run away at the mention of long-term commitment.

“What exactly is young?” Denny asks.

“She had me when she was nineteen then married my dad a year later.”

Denny arches a brow, smiling. “So, you’ve got a young mom?”

I playfully smack his upper arm, shaking my head. “Don’t get any ideas. You’re mine and she’s still happily married.”

Denny takes my hand, kissing my knuckles gently. I stare into his eyes, instantly noticing the twinkle it always seemed to hold in his brown orbs.

“I’m joking. Besides, I like them young,” he winks.

I laugh quietly, dropping my eyes to my ships on the board.

“We’re not that far apart in age, you know.”

“But you’re younger than me regardless, so your argument is moot point.” Denny grins pride fully; he always loved being right.

“Oh, shush. B7,” I say, looking up at him to see if I were to finally hit one of his ships.

“Miss. Again. Come on. Get outta your head and pay attention. What the hell are you thinking about, woman?”

I pout, looking into his eyes. “You know what, maybe you’re just better than me at board games.”

Denny laughs, nodding slightly. “That’s probably true. You’re not very good.”

Feigning a shocked expression, I widen my eyes.

“Oh, I’m definitely going to kick your ass now.”

“You’ve been saying that. I’m still waiting for it to happen,” Denny teases.

---

“I’ve got to stop by the bar to talk to Nate. I’ll be back in an hour or so, okay?” I tell Denny, looking into his eyes as I sit at the edge of his hospital bed.

He nods, staring into my eyes. It had been a couple of days since our argument and things were falling back into place. I was still aware that he was losing hope, but he said he was going to hold on a bit longer.

“All right. If you bring a deck of cards, we can play another game that I’ll win at,” he teases.

“You know, the things they say that the man should always let the woman win doesn’t apply to you, does it?”

Denny chuckles, shaking his head. “Not at all.”

“Mm, and that is why I like you.” Leaning down, I gently peck his lips. I let my fingertips run through his shaggy hair, slowly stroking it away from his face. “I’ll be back.”

“I’ll be right here,” Denny smiles.

“No stairs, okay?” I pull on my coat, retrieving my bag from the chair nearby.

Denny playfully salutes me. “Yes, doctor.

I leave his room hesitantly, glancing at him one last time before I walk to my car. Leaving him since our argument had become a tough task on its own. Leaving him alone meant he had enough time to think to himself, enough time to have his mind set on leaving, enough time for him to realize that I wasn’t worth making him stay at the hospital.

During the entire drive to the bar, I couldn’t help but let my mind drift to Denny. I knew we were running out of time and despite the LVAD giving us an ounce of hope, it wasn’t enough. Denny would continue losing hope until good news would come his way.

I walk into the bar and smile at Nate, sitting down with him. We talked about my job, about Denny. It was the first time I admitted that I loved him out loud. I put it out in the world rather than keep it bottled in.

“He’s going to hurt you, Jess.” Nate says.

I shake my head, “Then I’m willing to take that risk. I’ve all he’s got right now. He’s it, Nate. I love him.”

“You barely know him. You’ve been with him for three months at the latest. How can you love this man?”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. In the back of my mind, I knew that he was simply just looking out for me. I knew many of my friends and family were worried about me investing my entire time to a man who didn’t have a guaranteed future.

“He has this natural twinkle in his eyes whenever he would look at me. He holds me when I’m crying, comforting me because I’m scared that at the end, he won’t be here. Denny’s smile brightens my entire world. He laughs when he gets a score of sixty-nine in Scrabble. He loves animals to the point that we had to rush him back to his hospital room because he ran so quickly to a group of therapy dogs that were visiting the hospital.

“He makes me laugh, Nate. We fall asleep talking about our goals in life, what we want to do and what we have already done. I may have spent those three months taking care of him, but I would do it over again in a damn heartbeat. He has my heart now, Nate. If you can’t understand that or what I’m doing, then don’t hold my job for me.”

I hadn’t realized that I was tearing up. I wasn’t expecting this conversation at all. From the looks of it, Nate wasn’t expecting me to get so emotional over Denny.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Jess. You and Kate have a perfect dynamic. I’m just looking out for you. If he doesn’t make it, you’re going to be devastated.”

I stand up, grabbing my bag and my coat. It was time for me to leave.

“If that happens, I will deal it with it if it comes. Thanks, Nate. I’m going to go now.”

Before he could respond, Kate appears from the back of the bar and sighs. “Let me come with you! I want to see Denny, too.”

I glance over at her and nod, holding the door open for her. The ride back to the hospital was quiet. My mind was racing at the million thoughts in my head. I couldn’t even be angry at Nate for being protective of me. I was surprised that Kate hasn’t talked to me about it yet.

Once at the hospital, I immediately walk to Denny’s room. I almost forget that Kate was with me before I hear her voice, calling out for me to slow down.

“Sorry,” I tell her.

“Don’t worry about it. I get it,” she grins, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

I lean against her for support before my eyes instantly find Denny’s.

“I brought you a visitor,” I tell him, removing my coat and setting my bag down. I instantly walk to him, kissing his forehead before sitting at the edge of his bed. “Are you okay?”

Denny glances over at Kate and smiles before he turns his attention to me. “I’m fine, Jess. I’m glad you’re back, though.”

“Me too. I’m going to talk to Dr. Stevens to see about your food for today. Kate, try not to hit on my man, okay?” I tease, climbing off his bed to give her a hug.

“No promises. I forgot how handsome he was,” she teases.

I laugh quietly, leaving the room to find Dr. Stevens.

---

Denny’s POV

I see Kate look over her shoulder, watching Jess leave. I couldn’t help but feel slightly confused. Surely, she wouldn’t try anything on me. Right?

Though, when I meet her eyes, I realize why Kate was making sure Jess was gone. It seemed like she was going to have a serious talk with me.

“How are you?” She asks.

“I’m doing okay. They’ve got me on an LVAD to buy me more time. Just waiting for good news, you know?” I reply.

Kate slowly paces back and forth, her arms crossed over her chest. She looked nervous.

“Kate, what are you doing?”

“I think Jess is going to get hurt, Denny. She’s been investing too much of her time on you when it isn’t a guarantee that you’ll get a heart. I know it sounds bad, fuck, but I want to be realistic here. That night you two had an argument because you wanted to go home… She called me when you were asleep. I have never heard her cry that much in my life, Denny. Jess is my best friend and I love her,” Kate says.

My heart breaks. She was telling me to break up with Jess. The worse part of it was that I had already been considering it. I knew it was going to break her heart, but if I died, it would hurt her even more.

“Kate…”

“No, listen, Denny. I just don’t want to see my best friend hurt because of you. When Jess gets back, tell her Nate called me to go back to the bar. I’ll talk to you later.”

When she leaves my room, I stare down at the crossword puzzle that I had been working on before she got here. My mind drifts to Jess and the past three months. If it wasn’t for her optimism, I was sure that I would have been dead by now.

But I’m just tired. I told Jess I would hold on a bit longer, but what if holding on was simply prolonging the inevitable?

As I think back to the first time I met Jess and the past three months with her, I realized one thing.

I was in love with her.

She would scrunch up her nose when she laughed. She would get lost in her thoughts when she was staring at me. She would bite her lower lip in deep thought when she was trying to figure out the next word or where my battleship was placed. She would rest her cheek against my chest, listening to my heartbeat despite how irregular it sounded. She gave me hope when I lost it.

She was keeping me alive.

But I knew. The longer we hold on, the more hurt she would get when I died. And I love her too much to let her go through that pain.

Kate was right.

I had to let Jess go.

---

“Okay! I have a salad and some fruit for a Dennison Duquette!” I smile, looking around the room only to find Kate gone. “Hey, where did Kate go?”

Denny looks at me, his smile not reaching his eyes like it usually would.

“She said she had to go. Nate called her in.”

“Go figure. Fridays were always busy. Now, let’s get you fed.” I set the tray onto the table, sitting at the edge of his bed and handing him a fork.

He avoids my eyes and I couldn’t understand why. I just hoped it wouldn’t result in him telling me that he wanted to go home because I didn’t know if I could handle that conversation again.

We eat in silence. I glance at him every so often, but he doesn’t meet my gaze. Usually, we would get lost in each other’s eyes, but tonight was different.

Once we finish our food, I grab our trays and set it aside for the nurse to pick up. Denny instantly grabs the unfinished crossword puzzle before I take it from his grasp.

Again, he doesn’t look at me.

“Did Kate do something? Did she hit on you?” I tease, laughing quietly to myself in hopes that Denny would join me. When he doesn’t, I cease my attempts at trying to lighten the mood.

“Denny, what did she do?”

When his eyes finally meet mine, I take notice at how glassy it was and the tears that were now pooling at his eyes.

“Do you believe in heaven, Jess?” He asks.

I furrow my brow. “Why are you talking like this?”

“Just – Just answer the question. Please.”

“Yes, Denny. I believe in heaven.”

He simply nods. “Do you believe in karma?”

“Yeah. Denny, what’s going on?”

“I think you’re mine. That night when I saw you… I knew I shouldn’t have talked to you. I should have minded my own business, but I couldn’t.”

“Well, thank you for talking to me. We wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you,” I smile. When he doesn’t return it, I simply frown.

What the hell was going on?

“You’ve done more than I could have ever asked of you, Jess. I will forever be grateful for all that you’ve done for me, but… I can’t do this. Not to you.” His tears were more noticeable now and suddenly, everything made sense.

Kate must have talked to him about me.

“W – What?”

“You should go home. Go back to school. Get your job back. I’ll be fine, Jess. I’ll be all right.”

My voice quivers and tears begin to leak at the corner of my eyes. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“What if you die? What if you die and I’m not here with you? What happens then, Denny?!”

“Then I die. I’ll be all right, Jess. You don’t have to worry.”

“I did not ask for you to help me with my groceries, Denny! I did not ask to see you in this hospital three months ago! I have spent all my time giving you hope, making sure that you were okay and you want me to leave just like that? You want me to walk away like I never cared?”

“Jess –”

“What about me, Denny?! What about me when you go to the light?! What about me?!”

Tears were now rolling down my cheeks, but the more I look at Denny, the more my heart breaks.

“I’m going to be all right,” he repeats.

“No, I get it! I get it, okay? You’ll be okay, but what about me?! If you tell me to leave and you die, I will never be able to forgive you!”

“For dying?” His voice is shaky and when I meet his eyes, I realize that this was hurting him just as much as it was hurting me.

“No! For making me love you!”

Denny stares at me as if the words that just escaped my lips was something he wasn’t expecting. He stares at me and I know in that moment, he loved me too.

“Jess –”

“I am not going to let you go, Denny! Do you understand me?! Because I can’t – I can’t leave and let you die so please… Please don’t tell me to go!” My body shakes with the intensity of all my built-up emotions from today’s events and today’s conversation with Nate.

Denny gently reaches for my forearm and I allow him to pull me close. I continue to cry, wiping the tears away but it was no point. They were just going to fall.

“I’m in love with you, Denny… Please don’t tell me to go… Please…”

“Okay, okay…” His arms wrap around me and instantly, I let my face bury against my neck. My cries continue as he tries to calm me down by allowing a hand to rub along my back.

“I love you too, Jess…” He whispers into my ear.

I shut my eyes, holding onto him tightly. At his confession, I let a fresh set of tears fall from eyes. I realize that there was no turning back from this. All I could hope for was Denny to get a new heart.

When he pulls back to look at me, he places two fingers onto his lips.

“Kiss me.” Denny says.

Slowly, I lean in to let my lips press against his and allow the brief kiss to melt away both of our concerns and worries.

Right now, it was Denny and I.

No one else mattered as long as we were together.

[bloggiannasarlothings-blog]

Blog on the College Process/Essay For Athletes

My college process was a lot different than others. From a young age, I knew I wanted to play collegiate softball and to make my dream a reality, I joined a club softball team in sixth grade. In February of my junior year, I committed to play at Boston College. Now that I am on the other side of this process, I am able to fully look back, digest, and reflect on the college process for an athlete.

For an athlete, the college process begins early on. Personally, the process began in eighth grade. I remember my coach sat us down, told us to make our college list, and start sending emails to coaches. Being only 12, I didn’t even know where I wanted to go to high school. I remember feeling so confused, nervous, yet excited. Generally, the recruiting process for softball goes something like the following. You travel every weekend around the country; Chicago, Colorado, Florida etc., playing at a highly competitive level. You send a college coach an email, hoping to grab their attention so they will come to your games. Until the first day of your junior year, college coaches cannot talk to you, which means all the communication is done through your club coach. Unfortunately, you would sometimes be left in the dark about what that coach thought of you.

The college process has taught me great life lessons along with the responsibilities of being an athlete. In the article, “You Can’t Talk to Your Professor Like That”, Worthen, emphasizes the importance of learning the proper way to talk to professors/adults. As I look back at all my phone calls and face to face conversations with college coaches I now understand the author’s point. I got calls from Lehigh, MIT, UPenn, and can be seen as my “college interview”. My heart would beat out of my chest every time. Worthen writes, “making it clear that learning how to write a professional email and relate to authority figures is not just preparation for a job after graduation” (Worthen). I was so grateful for those experiences, as every phone call and conversation matured me in a different way and allowed me to gain speaking skills that I will carry with me through life.

In “How Do I Bring Diversity”, Kirkland and Hansen write about how diversity is not just your race or social status, but about how you can bring your unique talents to the campus. The authors write, “Thus we come to “M’s Mom’s reassurance that being able to name all the different shapes of pasta surely counts as bringing diversity” (Kirkland and Hansen), which really reiterates the authors’ message of the importance of finding what makes you diverse. Softball is my way of bringing diversity to college. My “college essay” was my softball games, as a “college essay” is supposed to show a college why they should pick you. Only for me, I could not rewrite my “essay”. I had one shot to impress a coach and could not “delete” the outcome if I wasn’t happy with it.

In the book Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be, Bruni taps into the chaos of the college process, showing readers that they can still be successful even if they don’t attend a top college. As my final decision was nearing, I was still between Boston College and UPenn. My decision reminds me of the following quote, “The inclination to consider UPenn, not attendance at UPenn, is the key to future earnings.” (Bruni). I knew the whole time that Boston College was the perfect fit for me. It checks every box. It is just outside the city but still has a campus. BC provides me with the opportunity for a great education and an unbelievable softball program. UPenn did not make me feel as “at home” as Boston did. However, when you go to such a competitive high school, where people make going to an IVY the end all be all was the only reason I still considered attending UPenn. Although going to an IVY does have its perks, it is not the right fit for everybody, which was the author’s main claim. The moment you realize that “Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be”, and make your decision based on what is best for you, is when you will truly see success and happiness. I could not be more excited to be an Eagle!

As a recruited athlete, you are expected to meet a certain SAT score, and keep your GPA above a certain point in order to guarantee admission into the College or University. An athlete who knows their college application is being ‘waved’, or essentially, you know you are getting in, you might not put as much effort into writing that “perfect essay” or making sure “you joined every extracurricular” like most people. To all athletes in the same boat as I am, I tell you to really put the time and effort into making that one application the best possible and to really make sure it represents who you truly are. I also want to shine a light on what athletes can write about in their college essays. I personally feel as though athletes should not write about their sport or an injury they had to overcome. Colleges get those types of essays all the time, and they already know all the hard work you put into that sport you were recruited for. So, my advice to you is to take those 650 words that they give you, and you write about something unexpected, something that makes you stand out, something that gives you that “diversity factor”, something other than sports for a change.

Work Cited

Bruni, Frank. Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be: An Antidote to the College Admissions Mania. Grand Central Publishing, 2016

[johnclapperne]

What Happens When a Young Trainer Suffers a Stroke?

Personal trainers are supposed to be gladiators. They glide into our early morning sessions sporting intensity, enthusiasm, some tough love to get us in shape and a physique that makes us say, “Man, I’d love to look like that.”

Rick Logan is that guy. As a trainer in Baltimore, the 27-year-old has put dozens of clients through brutal sessions to help them toughen up. And he practices what what he preaches, working out incessantly to the point of exhaustion.

“He is an animal,” says colleague Kimberly Hanson. “He has this huge personality. When he walks into a room, you know he’s there.”

But that’s where the narrative starts to fall apart. It happened a year ago; Logan never could’ve guess he suffered from a rare medical condition that would leave him unable to walk at all. That he would have to summon every ounce of his will, strength and determination to get his physical prowess back. Or that he would have to buy in fully to the simple acts of using MyFitnessPal and UA Record — which he never fully understood — to help get him back on his feet.

A FIT REVELATION

Logan made a career shift into fitness in his early 20s. Not that he was inspired to become a gym rat, but because he went through a fitness journey with his father, Rick Sr., who suffered a stroke in his 30s. Growing up, young Rick had no idea how to help his dad, who lost feeling on his left side and struggled through a grueling rehab.

What he did know is the experience of working out alongside his dad, who eventually got back on his feet, wasn’t just physically fulfilling, it was spiritual as well.

“We were in fitness together,” Logan explains. “My father and I started training programs together, and it was a bonding thing because we were never close when I was growing up.”

Quickly, Logan decided personal training was for him. He soon began working at FX Studios, a trio of Baltimore-area health clubs that sport the UA Connected Fitness brand and philosophy. At his peak, he had a regular roster of 30–40 individual clients in addition to multiple group sessions per week.

Work grind

A post shared by Rick Logan (@rick_logan) on Jul 8, 2013 at 11:23am PDT

He had no idea what was coming. After an evening of socializing in April 2016, Logan woke up with a searing headache at 3 a.m. He got out of bed to use the bathroom and immediately fell over, but didn’t think much of it. “I thought it was the beer,” he laughs. “I had only had like three and my first thought was, ‘I’m such a lightweight.’”

He went back to bed and got up at 5 to see a client. But things got progressively worse. He couldn’t drive his car in a straight line on his way to work. Twenty minutes into working with his client, he couldn’t even stand. He finished the session, but went home and got back in bed, thinking he had fallen ill with a flu.

By 11 a.m., he realized in horror he couldn’t move the left side of his body. He had a friend rush him to a local outpatient clinic, and struggled even to use his phone, which he kept dropping.

“That’s when it dawned on me,” he recalls. “I was having a stroke. I was going through exactly what happened to my dad.”

Subsequent doctor visits gave Logan a diagnosis he had never expected: a rare blood disorder called antiphospholipid antibody syndrome, which causes rapid blood clots. In Logan’s case, doctors believed he had an arterial tear somewhere in his neck. Medication could get his condition in check; what he would have to do on his own was regain the ability to move and walk properly. Returning to his old life was no guarantee.

“I had prided myself on keeping a certain aesthetic,” he explains. “I like to look a certain way and be healthy. Doing elaborate workouts was just something I did. I don’t think I truly appreciated that after seeing what my father went through. But at the time, I remember having this realization: ‘Am I ever going to be able to do this again?’”

READ MORE > DANIEL’S WEIGHT-LOSS SECRET? 2 POUNDS PER WEEK

Logan’s doctors prescribed him heavy physical therapy sessions, and he was fortunate: The staff at FX Studios Physical Therapy committed immediately to giving him the treatment he needed. Within days, he was working two hours or more with therapists. But being the proud man he was, Logan was frustrated with his inability to do simple things like raise his left arm.

“My muscles went away pretty quick,” he says. “It was almost unbearable, to be honest.”

That’s when he figured he’d set a series of small goals. That started with logging his food on MyFitnessPal and his physical activity — limited though it was — with UA Record.

“I figured if that’s what I could do, I’ll do it,” he recalls. “I’m not going to sit on the couch and feel sorry for myself. Each week I tracked and saw a snapshot of what I’d done. That first week, I couldn’t even do a pushup. But with each week that passed, I could go back to that first week and see what I couldn’t do. It helped motivate me.”

It also marked the time when Logan became a Connected Fitness convert, which he admits he “had never bought into” previously, despite the logo on the door of his workplace.

BACK ON HIS FEET

One of my favorite people and best physical therapist around @drkimbo09 . Someone who gave up hours and hours of her time to get me to walk again. Can’t ever thank someone enough for that kind of support but if you need some pt you better call @_fxstudios bc the whole team is on that level.

A post shared by Rick Logan (@rick_logan) on Oct 14, 2016 at 8:45am PDT

Logan’s rehab was slow, but steady. He worked with Hanson — a physical therapist and clinic director at FX — regularly. She started with the basics of strengthening his core. It was a fine line, she explains, between pushing him to where he felt like he was making progress and adjusting when he simply couldn’t physically accomplish basic exercises.

“You could tell he was still positive for sure,” Hanson remembers. “But you could also tell he was sort of scared and unsure how it would all go. It was clear he had a stroke. The left side of his body was extremely weak.”

But Logan’s “animal” nature helped him more than most people. Because he was in such good shape, his body was able to rediscover the pathways that reactivated his neuromuscular system quicker. And because he was logging his diet on MyFitnessPal and his activity, exercise and sleep in UA Record, he and the FX staff were better able to contour his rehab program to meet his body’s progress.

Within an amazing three weeks after suffering the episodes, he was walking without the cane he had relied on. Not long after, he was doing regular exercises like glute bridges. Next came the row machine or stationary bike. Eventually, he was lifting weights again. Today, he’s even running a little bit.

“If you’re going through hell, keep going” -Winston Churchill #workout #nevergiveup #grind #teamrick #fitness #underarmour #fx

A post shared by Rick Logan (@rick_logan) on May 5, 2017 at 4:56am PDT

He’s not all the way back — and in fact, like his father, he probably never will be. But “to look at him now, you’d never know” he had a stroke, according to Hanson. And most important, he’s back to doing what he loves most: working with clients. Logan is now the fitness manager at the FX Studios 10 Light Street location in downtown Baltimore, just across the Inner Harbor from Under Armour’s global headquarters, and still works with 20–25 clients per week.

He’s been humbled, he admits, and takes nothing for granted anymore. But he also admits he’s been educated: Ironically, without this experience, he may never have fully understood what Connected Fitness could do for his understanding of his own body.

“I’ve learned through this process that it’s not just one thing that goes into your fitness,” he says. “There’s sleep, exercise, nutrition, stress, your energy levels — there are so many things that go into it that if you ignore one of them, you’re just not going to get to where you want to be.”

Logan is indeed back to where he wants to be: in the gym, pushing people to be their very best.

The post What Happens When a Young Trainer Suffers a Stroke? appeared first on Under Armour.

http://ift.tt/2qYbaeh

[almajonesnjna]

What Happens When a Young Trainer Suffers a Stroke?

Personal trainers are supposed to be gladiators. They glide into our early morning sessions sporting intensity, enthusiasm, some tough love to get us in shape and a physique that makes us say, “Man, I’d love to look like that.”

Rick Logan is that guy. As a trainer in Baltimore, the 27-year-old has put dozens of clients through brutal sessions to help them toughen up. And he practices what what he preaches, working out incessantly to the point of exhaustion.

“He is an animal,” says colleague Kimberly Hanson. “He has this huge personality. When he walks into a room, you know he’s there.”

But that’s where the narrative starts to fall apart. It happened a year ago; Logan never could’ve guess he suffered from a rare medical condition that would leave him unable to walk at all. That he would have to summon every ounce of his will, strength and determination to get his physical prowess back. Or that he would have to buy in fully to the simple acts of using MyFitnessPal and UA Record — which he never fully understood — to help get him back on his feet.

A FIT REVELATION

Logan made a career shift into fitness in his early 20s. Not that he was inspired to become a gym rat, but because he went through a fitness journey with his father, Rick Sr., who suffered a stroke in his 30s. Growing up, young Rick had no idea how to help his dad, who lost feeling on his left side and struggled through a grueling rehab.

What he did know is the experience of working out alongside his dad, who eventually got back on his feet, wasn’t just physically fulfilling, it was spiritual as well.

“We were in fitness together,” Logan explains. “My father and I started training programs together, and it was a bonding thing because we were never close when I was growing up.”

Quickly, Logan decided personal training was for him. He soon began working at FX Studios, a trio of Baltimore-area health clubs that sport the UA Connected Fitness brand and philosophy. At his peak, he had a regular roster of 30–40 individual clients in addition to multiple group sessions per week.

Work grind

A post shared by Rick Logan (@rick_logan) on Jul 8, 2013 at 11:23am PDT

He had no idea what was coming. After an evening of socializing in April 2016, Logan woke up with a searing headache at 3 a.m. He got out of bed to use the bathroom and immediately fell over, but didn’t think much of it. “I thought it was the beer,” he laughs. “I had only had like three and my first thought was, ‘I’m such a lightweight.’”

He went back to bed and got up at 5 to see a client. But things got progressively worse. He couldn’t drive his car in a straight line on his way to work. Twenty minutes into working with his client, he couldn’t even stand. He finished the session, but went home and got back in bed, thinking he had fallen ill with a flu.

By 11 a.m., he realized in horror he couldn’t move the left side of his body. He had a friend rush him to a local outpatient clinic, and struggled even to use his phone, which he kept dropping.

“That’s when it dawned on me,” he recalls. “I was having a stroke. I was going through exactly what happened to my dad.”

Subsequent doctor visits gave Logan a diagnosis he had never expected: a rare blood disorder called antiphospholipid antibody syndrome, which causes rapid blood clots. In Logan’s case, doctors believed he had an arterial tear somewhere in his neck. Medication could get his condition in check; what he would have to do on his own was regain the ability to move and walk properly. Returning to his old life was no guarantee.

“I had prided myself on keeping a certain aesthetic,” he explains. “I like to look a certain way and be healthy. Doing elaborate workouts was just something I did. I don’t think I truly appreciated that after seeing what my father went through. But at the time, I remember having this realization: ‘Am I ever going to be able to do this again?’”

READ MORE > DANIEL’S WEIGHT-LOSS SECRET? 2 POUNDS PER WEEK

Logan’s doctors prescribed him heavy physical therapy sessions, and he was fortunate: The staff at FX Studios Physical Therapy committed immediately to giving him the treatment he needed. Within days, he was working two hours or more with therapists. But being the proud man he was, Logan was frustrated with his inability to do simple things like raise his left arm.

“My muscles went away pretty quick,” he says. “It was almost unbearable, to be honest.”

That’s when he figured he’d set a series of small goals. That started with logging his food on MyFitnessPal and his physical activity — limited though it was — with UA Record.

“I figured if that’s what I could do, I’ll do it,” he recalls. “I’m not going to sit on the couch and feel sorry for myself. Each week I tracked and saw a snapshot of what I’d done. That first week, I couldn’t even do a pushup. But with each week that passed, I could go back to that first week and see what I couldn’t do. It helped motivate me.”

It also marked the time when Logan became a Connected Fitness convert, which he admits he “had never bought into” previously, despite the logo on the door of his workplace.

BACK ON HIS FEET

One of my favorite people and best physical therapist around @drkimbo09 . Someone who gave up hours and hours of her time to get me to walk again. Can’t ever thank someone enough for that kind of support but if you need some pt you better call @_fxstudios bc the whole team is on that level.

A post shared by Rick Logan (@rick_logan) on Oct 14, 2016 at 8:45am PDT

Logan’s rehab was slow, but steady. He worked with Hanson — a physical therapist and clinic director at FX — regularly. She started with the basics of strengthening his core. It was a fine line, she explains, between pushing him to where he felt like he was making progress and adjusting when he simply couldn’t physically accomplish basic exercises.

“You could tell he was still positive for sure,” Hanson remembers. “But you could also tell he was sort of scared and unsure how it would all go. It was clear he had a stroke. The left side of his body was extremely weak.”

But Logan’s “animal” nature helped him more than most people. Because he was in such good shape, his body was able to rediscover the pathways that reactivated his neuromuscular system quicker. And because he was logging his diet on MyFitnessPal and his activity, exercise and sleep in UA Record, he and the FX staff were better able to contour his rehab program to meet his body’s progress.

Within an amazing three weeks after suffering the episodes, he was walking without the cane he had relied on. Not long after, he was doing regular exercises like glute bridges. Next came the row machine or stationary bike. Eventually, he was lifting weights again. Today, he’s even running a little bit.

“If you’re going through hell, keep going” -Winston Churchill #workout #nevergiveup #grind #teamrick #fitness #underarmour #fx

A post shared by Rick Logan (@rick_logan) on May 5, 2017 at 4:56am PDT

He’s not all the way back — and in fact, like his father, he probably never will be. But “to look at him now, you’d never know” he had a stroke, according to Hanson. And most important, he’s back to doing what he loves most: working with clients. Logan is now the fitness manager at the FX Studios 10 Light Street location in downtown Baltimore, just across the Inner Harbor from Under Armour’s global headquarters, and still works with 20–25 clients per week.

He’s been humbled, he admits, and takes nothing for granted anymore. But he also admits he’s been educated: Ironically, without this experience, he may never have fully understood what Connected Fitness could do for his understanding of his own body.

“I’ve learned through this process that it’s not just one thing that goes into your fitness,” he says. “There’s sleep, exercise, nutrition, stress, your energy levels — there are so many things that go into it that if you ignore one of them, you’re just not going to get to where you want to be.”

Logan is indeed back to where he wants to be: in the gym, pushing people to be their very best.

The post What Happens When a Young Trainer Suffers a Stroke? appeared first on Under Armour.

http://ift.tt/2qYbaeh

[ruthellisneda]

What Happens When a Young Trainer Suffers a Stroke?

Personal trainers are supposed to be gladiators. They glide into our early morning sessions sporting intensity, enthusiasm, some tough love to get us in shape and a physique that makes us say, “Man, I’d love to look like that.”

Rick Logan is that guy. As a trainer in Baltimore, the 27-year-old has put dozens of clients through brutal sessions to help them toughen up. And he practices what what he preaches, working out incessantly to the point of exhaustion.

“He is an animal,” says colleague Kimberly Hanson. “He has this huge personality. When he walks into a room, you know he’s there.”

But that’s where the narrative starts to fall apart. It happened a year ago; Logan never could’ve guess he suffered from a rare medical condition that would leave him unable to walk at all. That he would have to summon every ounce of his will, strength and determination to get his physical prowess back. Or that he would have to buy in fully to the simple acts of using MyFitnessPal and UA Record — which he never fully understood — to help get him back on his feet.

A FIT REVELATION

Logan made a career shift into fitness in his early 20s. Not that he was inspired to become a gym rat, but because he went through a fitness journey with his father, Rick Sr., who suffered a stroke in his 30s. Growing up, young Rick had no idea how to help his dad, who lost feeling on his left side and struggled through a grueling rehab.

What he did know is the experience of working out alongside his dad, who eventually got back on his feet, wasn’t just physically fulfilling, it was spiritual as well.

“We were in fitness together,” Logan explains. “My father and I started training programs together, and it was a bonding thing because we were never close when I was growing up.”

Quickly, Logan decided personal training was for him. He soon began working at FX Studios, a trio of Baltimore-area health clubs that sport the UA Connected Fitness brand and philosophy. At his peak, he had a regular roster of 30–40 individual clients in addition to multiple group sessions per week.

Work grind

A post shared by Rick Logan (@rick_logan) on Jul 8, 2013 at 11:23am PDT

He had no idea what was coming. After an evening of socializing in April 2016, Logan woke up with a searing headache at 3 a.m. He got out of bed to use the bathroom and immediately fell over, but didn’t think much of it. “I thought it was the beer,” he laughs. “I had only had like three and my first thought was, ‘I’m such a lightweight.’”

He went back to bed and got up at 5 to see a client. But things got progressively worse. He couldn’t drive his car in a straight line on his way to work. Twenty minutes into working with his client, he couldn’t even stand. He finished the session, but went home and got back in bed, thinking he had fallen ill with a flu.

By 11 a.m., he realized in horror he couldn’t move the left side of his body. He had a friend rush him to a local outpatient clinic, and struggled even to use his phone, which he kept dropping.

“That’s when it dawned on me,” he recalls. “I was having a stroke. I was going through exactly what happened to my dad.”

Subsequent doctor visits gave Logan a diagnosis he had never expected: a rare blood disorder called antiphospholipid antibody syndrome, which causes rapid blood clots. In Logan’s case, doctors believed he had an arterial tear somewhere in his neck. Medication could get his condition in check; what he would have to do on his own was regain the ability to move and walk properly. Returning to his old life was no guarantee.

“I had prided myself on keeping a certain aesthetic,” he explains. “I like to look a certain way and be healthy. Doing elaborate workouts was just something I did. I don’t think I truly appreciated that after seeing what my father went through. But at the time, I remember having this realization: ‘Am I ever going to be able to do this again?’”

READ MORE > DANIEL’S WEIGHT-LOSS SECRET? 2 POUNDS PER WEEK

Logan’s doctors prescribed him heavy physical therapy sessions, and he was fortunate: The staff at FX Studios Physical Therapy committed immediately to giving him the treatment he needed. Within days, he was working two hours or more with therapists. But being the proud man he was, Logan was frustrated with his inability to do simple things like raise his left arm.

“My muscles went away pretty quick,” he says. “It was almost unbearable, to be honest.”

That’s when he figured he’d set a series of small goals. That started with logging his food on MyFitnessPal and his physical activity — limited though it was — with UA Record.

“I figured if that’s what I could do, I’ll do it,” he recalls. “I’m not going to sit on the couch and feel sorry for myself. Each week I tracked and saw a snapshot of what I’d done. That first week, I couldn’t even do a pushup. But with each week that passed, I could go back to that first week and see what I couldn’t do. It helped motivate me.”

It also marked the time when Logan became a Connected Fitness convert, which he admits he “had never bought into” previously, despite the logo on the door of his workplace.

BACK ON HIS FEET

One of my favorite people and best physical therapist around @drkimbo09 . Someone who gave up hours and hours of her time to get me to walk again. Can’t ever thank someone enough for that kind of support but if you need some pt you better call @_fxstudios bc the whole team is on that level.

A post shared by Rick Logan (@rick_logan) on Oct 14, 2016 at 8:45am PDT

Logan’s rehab was slow, but steady. He worked with Hanson — a physical therapist and clinic director at FX — regularly. She started with the basics of strengthening his core. It was a fine line, she explains, between pushing him to where he felt like he was making progress and adjusting when he simply couldn’t physically accomplish basic exercises.

“You could tell he was still positive for sure,” Hanson remembers. “But you could also tell he was sort of scared and unsure how it would all go. It was clear he had a stroke. The left side of his body was extremely weak.”

But Logan’s “animal” nature helped him more than most people. Because he was in such good shape, his body was able to rediscover the pathways that reactivated his neuromuscular system quicker. And because he was logging his diet on MyFitnessPal and his activity, exercise and sleep in UA Record, he and the FX staff were better able to contour his rehab program to meet his body’s progress.

Within an amazing three weeks after suffering the episodes, he was walking without the cane he had relied on. Not long after, he was doing regular exercises like glute bridges. Next came the row machine or stationary bike. Eventually, he was lifting weights again. Today, he’s even running a little bit.

“If you’re going through hell, keep going” -Winston Churchill #workout #nevergiveup #grind #teamrick #fitness #underarmour #fx

A post shared by Rick Logan (@rick_logan) on May 5, 2017 at 4:56am PDT

He’s not all the way back — and in fact, like his father, he probably never will be. But “to look at him now, you’d never know” he had a stroke, according to Hanson. And most important, he’s back to doing what he loves most: working with clients. Logan is now the fitness manager at the FX Studios 10 Light Street location in downtown Baltimore, just across the Inner Harbor from Under Armour’s global headquarters, and still works with 20–25 clients per week.

He’s been humbled, he admits, and takes nothing for granted anymore. But he also admits he’s been educated: Ironically, without this experience, he may never have fully understood what Connected Fitness could do for his understanding of his own body.

“I’ve learned through this process that it’s not just one thing that goes into your fitness,” he says. “There’s sleep, exercise, nutrition, stress, your energy levels — there are so many things that go into it that if you ignore one of them, you’re just not going to get to where you want to be.”

Logan is indeed back to where he wants to be: in the gym, pushing people to be their very best.

The post What Happens When a Young Trainer Suffers a Stroke? appeared first on Under Armour.

http://ift.tt/2qYbaeh

[joshuabradleyn]

What Happens When a Young Trainer Suffers a Stroke?

Personal trainers are supposed to be gladiators. They glide into our early morning sessions sporting intensity, enthusiasm, some tough love to get us in shape and a physique that makes us say, “Man, I’d love to look like that.”

Rick Logan is that guy. As a trainer in Baltimore, the 27-year-old has put dozens of clients through brutal sessions to help them toughen up. And he practices what what he preaches, working out incessantly to the point of exhaustion.

“He is an animal,” says colleague Kimberly Hanson. “He has this huge personality. When he walks into a room, you know he’s there.”

But that’s where the narrative starts to fall apart. It happened a year ago; Logan never could’ve guess he suffered from a rare medical condition that would leave him unable to walk at all. That he would have to summon every ounce of his will, strength and determination to get his physical prowess back. Or that he would have to buy in fully to the simple acts of using MyFitnessPal and UA Record — which he never fully understood — to help get him back on his feet.

A FIT REVELATION

Logan made a career shift into fitness in his early 20s. Not that he was inspired to become a gym rat, but because he went through a fitness journey with his father, Rick Sr., who suffered a stroke in his 30s. Growing up, young Rick had no idea how to help his dad, who lost feeling on his left side and struggled through a grueling rehab.

What he did know is the experience of working out alongside his dad, who eventually got back on his feet, wasn’t just physically fulfilling, it was spiritual as well.

“We were in fitness together,” Logan explains. “My father and I started training programs together, and it was a bonding thing because we were never close when I was growing up.”

Quickly, Logan decided personal training was for him. He soon began working at FX Studios, a trio of Baltimore-area health clubs that sport the UA Connected Fitness brand and philosophy. At his peak, he had a regular roster of 30–40 individual clients in addition to multiple group sessions per week.

Work grind

A post shared by Rick Logan (@rick_logan) on Jul 8, 2013 at 11:23am PDT

He had no idea what was coming. After an evening of socializing in April 2016, Logan woke up with a searing headache at 3 a.m. He got out of bed to use the bathroom and immediately fell over, but didn’t think much of it. “I thought it was the beer,” he laughs. “I had only had like three and my first thought was, ‘I’m such a lightweight.’”

He went back to bed and got up at 5 to see a client. But things got progressively worse. He couldn’t drive his car in a straight line on his way to work. Twenty minutes into working with his client, he couldn’t even stand. He finished the session, but went home and got back in bed, thinking he had fallen ill with a flu.

By 11 a.m., he realized in horror he couldn’t move the left side of his body. He had a friend rush him to a local outpatient clinic, and struggled even to use his phone, which he kept dropping.

“That’s when it dawned on me,” he recalls. “I was having a stroke. I was going through exactly what happened to my dad.”

Subsequent doctor visits gave Logan a diagnosis he had never expected: a rare blood disorder called antiphospholipid antibody syndrome, which causes rapid blood clots. In Logan’s case, doctors believed he had an arterial tear somewhere in his neck. Medication could get his condition in check; what he would have to do on his own was regain the ability to move and walk properly. Returning to his old life was no guarantee.

“I had prided myself on keeping a certain aesthetic,” he explains. “I like to look a certain way and be healthy. Doing elaborate workouts was just something I did. I don’t think I truly appreciated that after seeing what my father went through. But at the time, I remember having this realization: ‘Am I ever going to be able to do this again?’”

READ MORE > DANIEL’S WEIGHT-LOSS SECRET? 2 POUNDS PER WEEK

Logan’s doctors prescribed him heavy physical therapy sessions, and he was fortunate: The staff at FX Studios Physical Therapy committed immediately to giving him the treatment he needed. Within days, he was working two hours or more with therapists. But being the proud man he was, Logan was frustrated with his inability to do simple things like raise his left arm.

“My muscles went away pretty quick,” he says. “It was almost unbearable, to be honest.”

That’s when he figured he’d set a series of small goals. That started with logging his food on MyFitnessPal and his physical activity — limited though it was — with UA Record.

“I figured if that’s what I could do, I’ll do it,” he recalls. “I’m not going to sit on the couch and feel sorry for myself. Each week I tracked and saw a snapshot of what I’d done. That first week, I couldn’t even do a pushup. But with each week that passed, I could go back to that first week and see what I couldn’t do. It helped motivate me.”

It also marked the time when Logan became a Connected Fitness convert, which he admits he “had never bought into” previously, despite the logo on the door of his workplace.

BACK ON HIS FEET

One of my favorite people and best physical therapist around @drkimbo09 . Someone who gave up hours and hours of her time to get me to walk again. Can’t ever thank someone enough for that kind of support but if you need some pt you better call @_fxstudios bc the whole team is on that level.

A post shared by Rick Logan (@rick_logan) on Oct 14, 2016 at 8:45am PDT

Logan’s rehab was slow, but steady. He worked with Hanson — a physical therapist and clinic director at FX — regularly. She started with the basics of strengthening his core. It was a fine line, she explains, between pushing him to where he felt like he was making progress and adjusting when he simply couldn’t physically accomplish basic exercises.

“You could tell he was still positive for sure,” Hanson remembers. “But you could also tell he was sort of scared and unsure how it would all go. It was clear he had a stroke. The left side of his body was extremely weak.”

But Logan’s “animal” nature helped him more than most people. Because he was in such good shape, his body was able to rediscover the pathways that reactivated his neuromuscular system quicker. And because he was logging his diet on MyFitnessPal and his activity, exercise and sleep in UA Record, he and the FX staff were better able to contour his rehab program to meet his body’s progress.

Within an amazing three weeks after suffering the episodes, he was walking without the cane he had relied on. Not long after, he was doing regular exercises like glute bridges. Next came the row machine or stationary bike. Eventually, he was lifting weights again. Today, he’s even running a little bit.

“If you’re going through hell, keep going” -Winston Churchill #workout #nevergiveup #grind #teamrick #fitness #underarmour #fx

A post shared by Rick Logan (@rick_logan) on May 5, 2017 at 4:56am PDT

He’s not all the way back — and in fact, like his father, he probably never will be. But “to look at him now, you’d never know” he had a stroke, according to Hanson. And most important, he’s back to doing what he loves most: working with clients. Logan is now the fitness manager at the FX Studios 10 Light Street location in downtown Baltimore, just across the Inner Harbor from Under Armour’s global headquarters, and still works with 20–25 clients per week.

He’s been humbled, he admits, and takes nothing for granted anymore. But he also admits he’s been educated: Ironically, without this experience, he may never have fully understood what Connected Fitness could do for his understanding of his own body.

“I’ve learned through this process that it’s not just one thing that goes into your fitness,” he says. “There’s sleep, exercise, nutrition, stress, your energy levels — there are so many things that go into it that if you ignore one of them, you’re just not going to get to where you want to be.”

Logan is indeed back to where he wants to be: in the gym, pushing people to be their very best.

The post What Happens When a Young Trainer Suffers a Stroke? appeared first on Under Armour.

http://ift.tt/2qYbaeh

[albertcaldwellne]

What Happens When a Young Trainer Suffers a Stroke?

Personal trainers are supposed to be gladiators. They glide into our early morning sessions sporting intensity, enthusiasm, some tough love to get us in shape and a physique that makes us say, “Man, I’d love to look like that.”

Rick Logan is that guy. As a trainer in Baltimore, the 27-year-old has put dozens of clients through brutal sessions to help them toughen up. And he practices what what he preaches, working out incessantly to the point of exhaustion.

“He is an animal,” says colleague Kimberly Hanson. “He has this huge personality. When he walks into a room, you know he’s there.”

But that’s where the narrative starts to fall apart. It happened a year ago; Logan never could’ve guess he suffered from a rare medical condition that would leave him unable to walk at all. That he would have to summon every ounce of his will, strength and determination to get his physical prowess back. Or that he would have to buy in fully to the simple acts of using MyFitnessPal and UA Record — which he never fully understood — to help get him back on his feet.

A FIT REVELATION

Logan made a career shift into fitness in his early 20s. Not that he was inspired to become a gym rat, but because he went through a fitness journey with his father, Rick Sr., who suffered a stroke in his 30s. Growing up, young Rick had no idea how to help his dad, who lost feeling on his left side and struggled through a grueling rehab.

What he did know is the experience of working out alongside his dad, who eventually got back on his feet, wasn’t just physically fulfilling, it was spiritual as well.

“We were in fitness together,” Logan explains. “My father and I started training programs together, and it was a bonding thing because we were never close when I was growing up.”

Quickly, Logan decided personal training was for him. He soon began working at FX Studios, a trio of Baltimore-area health clubs that sport the UA Connected Fitness brand and philosophy. At his peak, he had a regular roster of 30–40 individual clients in addition to multiple group sessions per week.

Work grind

A post shared by Rick Logan (@rick_logan) on Jul 8, 2013 at 11:23am PDT

He had no idea what was coming. After an evening of socializing in April 2016, Logan woke up with a searing headache at 3 a.m. He got out of bed to use the bathroom and immediately fell over, but didn’t think much of it. “I thought it was the beer,” he laughs. “I had only had like three and my first thought was, ‘I’m such a lightweight.’”

He went back to bed and got up at 5 to see a client. But things got progressively worse. He couldn’t drive his car in a straight line on his way to work. Twenty minutes into working with his client, he couldn’t even stand. He finished the session, but went home and got back in bed, thinking he had fallen ill with a flu.

By 11 a.m., he realized in horror he couldn’t move the left side of his body. He had a friend rush him to a local outpatient clinic, and struggled even to use his phone, which he kept dropping.

“That’s when it dawned on me,” he recalls. “I was having a stroke. I was going through exactly what happened to my dad.”

Subsequent doctor visits gave Logan a diagnosis he had never expected: a rare blood disorder called antiphospholipid antibody syndrome, which causes rapid blood clots. In Logan’s case, doctors believed he had an arterial tear somewhere in his neck. Medication could get his condition in check; what he would have to do on his own was regain the ability to move and walk properly. Returning to his old life was no guarantee.

“I had prided myself on keeping a certain aesthetic,” he explains. “I like to look a certain way and be healthy. Doing elaborate workouts was just something I did. I don’t think I truly appreciated that after seeing what my father went through. But at the time, I remember having this realization: ‘Am I ever going to be able to do this again?’”

READ MORE > DANIEL’S WEIGHT-LOSS SECRET? 2 POUNDS PER WEEK

Logan’s doctors prescribed him heavy physical therapy sessions, and he was fortunate: The staff at FX Studios Physical Therapy committed immediately to giving him the treatment he needed. Within days, he was working two hours or more with therapists. But being the proud man he was, Logan was frustrated with his inability to do simple things like raise his left arm.

“My muscles went away pretty quick,” he says. “It was almost unbearable, to be honest.”

That’s when he figured he’d set a series of small goals. That started with logging his food on MyFitnessPal and his physical activity — limited though it was — with UA Record.

“I figured if that’s what I could do, I’ll do it,” he recalls. “I’m not going to sit on the couch and feel sorry for myself. Each week I tracked and saw a snapshot of what I’d done. That first week, I couldn’t even do a pushup. But with each week that passed, I could go back to that first week and see what I couldn’t do. It helped motivate me.”

It also marked the time when Logan became a Connected Fitness convert, which he admits he “had never bought into” previously, despite the logo on the door of his workplace.

BACK ON HIS FEET

One of my favorite people and best physical therapist around @drkimbo09 . Someone who gave up hours and hours of her time to get me to walk again. Can’t ever thank someone enough for that kind of support but if you need some pt you better call @_fxstudios bc the whole team is on that level.

A post shared by Rick Logan (@rick_logan) on Oct 14, 2016 at 8:45am PDT

Logan’s rehab was slow, but steady. He worked with Hanson — a physical therapist and clinic director at FX — regularly. She started with the basics of strengthening his core. It was a fine line, she explains, between pushing him to where he felt like he was making progress and adjusting when he simply couldn’t physically accomplish basic exercises.

“You could tell he was still positive for sure,” Hanson remembers. “But you could also tell he was sort of scared and unsure how it would all go. It was clear he had a stroke. The left side of his body was extremely weak.”

But Logan’s “animal” nature helped him more than most people. Because he was in such good shape, his body was able to rediscover the pathways that reactivated his neuromuscular system quicker. And because he was logging his diet on MyFitnessPal and his activity, exercise and sleep in UA Record, he and the FX staff were better able to contour his rehab program to meet his body’s progress.

Within an amazing three weeks after suffering the episodes, he was walking without the cane he had relied on. Not long after, he was doing regular exercises like glute bridges. Next came the row machine or stationary bike. Eventually, he was lifting weights again. Today, he’s even running a little bit.

“If you’re going through hell, keep going” -Winston Churchill #workout #nevergiveup #grind #teamrick #fitness #underarmour #fx

A post shared by Rick Logan (@rick_logan) on May 5, 2017 at 4:56am PDT

He’s not all the way back — and in fact, like his father, he probably never will be. But “to look at him now, you’d never know” he had a stroke, according to Hanson. And most important, he’s back to doing what he loves most: working with clients. Logan is now the fitness manager at the FX Studios 10 Light Street location in downtown Baltimore, just across the Inner Harbor from Under Armour’s global headquarters, and still works with 20–25 clients per week.

He’s been humbled, he admits, and takes nothing for granted anymore. But he also admits he’s been educated: Ironically, without this experience, he may never have fully understood what Connected Fitness could do for his understanding of his own body.

“I’ve learned through this process that it’s not just one thing that goes into your fitness,” he says. “There’s sleep, exercise, nutrition, stress, your energy levels — there are so many things that go into it that if you ignore one of them, you’re just not going to get to where you want to be.”

Logan is indeed back to where he wants to be: in the gym, pushing people to be their very best.

The post What Happens When a Young Trainer Suffers a Stroke? appeared first on Under Armour.

http://ift.tt/2qYbaeh

[neilmillerne]

What Happens When a Young Trainer Suffers a Stroke?

Personal trainers are supposed to be gladiators. They glide into our early morning sessions sporting intensity, enthusiasm, some tough love to get us in shape and a physique that makes us say, “Man, I’d love to look like that.”

Rick Logan is that guy. As a trainer in Baltimore, the 27-year-old has put dozens of clients through brutal sessions to help them toughen up. And he practices what what he preaches, working out incessantly to the point of exhaustion.

“He is an animal,” says colleague Kimberly Hanson. “He has this huge personality. When he walks into a room, you know he’s there.”

But that’s where the narrative starts to fall apart. It happened a year ago; Logan never could’ve guess he suffered from a rare medical condition that would leave him unable to walk at all. That he would have to summon every ounce of his will, strength and determination to get his physical prowess back. Or that he would have to buy in fully to the simple acts of using MyFitnessPal and UA Record — which he never fully understood — to help get him back on his feet.

A FIT REVELATION

Logan made a career shift into fitness in his early 20s. Not that he was inspired to become a gym rat, but because he went through a fitness journey with his father, Rick Sr., who suffered a stroke in his 30s. Growing up, young Rick had no idea how to help his dad, who lost feeling on his left side and struggled through a grueling rehab.

What he did know is the experience of working out alongside his dad, who eventually got back on his feet, wasn’t just physically fulfilling, it was spiritual as well.

“We were in fitness together,” Logan explains. “My father and I started training programs together, and it was a bonding thing because we were never close when I was growing up.”

Quickly, Logan decided personal training was for him. He soon began working at FX Studios, a trio of Baltimore-area health clubs that sport the UA Connected Fitness brand and philosophy. At his peak, he had a regular roster of 30–40 individual clients in addition to multiple group sessions per week.

Work grind

A post shared by Rick Logan (@rick_logan) on Jul 8, 2013 at 11:23am PDT

He had no idea what was coming. After an evening of socializing in April 2016, Logan woke up with a searing headache at 3 a.m. He got out of bed to use the bathroom and immediately fell over, but didn’t think much of it. “I thought it was the beer,” he laughs. “I had only had like three and my first thought was, ‘I’m such a lightweight.’”

He went back to bed and got up at 5 to see a client. But things got progressively worse. He couldn’t drive his car in a straight line on his way to work. Twenty minutes into working with his client, he couldn’t even stand. He finished the session, but went home and got back in bed, thinking he had fallen ill with a flu.

By 11 a.m., he realized in horror he couldn’t move the left side of his body. He had a friend rush him to a local outpatient clinic, and struggled even to use his phone, which he kept dropping.

“That’s when it dawned on me,” he recalls. “I was having a stroke. I was going through exactly what happened to my dad.”

Subsequent doctor visits gave Logan a diagnosis he had never expected: a rare blood disorder called antiphospholipid antibody syndrome, which causes rapid blood clots. In Logan’s case, doctors believed he had an arterial tear somewhere in his neck. Medication could get his condition in check; what he would have to do on his own was regain the ability to move and walk properly. Returning to his old life was no guarantee.

“I had prided myself on keeping a certain aesthetic,” he explains. “I like to look a certain way and be healthy. Doing elaborate workouts was just something I did. I don’t think I truly appreciated that after seeing what my father went through. But at the time, I remember having this realization: ‘Am I ever going to be able to do this again?’”

READ MORE > DANIEL’S WEIGHT-LOSS SECRET? 2 POUNDS PER WEEK

Logan’s doctors prescribed him heavy physical therapy sessions, and he was fortunate: The staff at FX Studios Physical Therapy committed immediately to giving him the treatment he needed. Within days, he was working two hours or more with therapists. But being the proud man he was, Logan was frustrated with his inability to do simple things like raise his left arm.

“My muscles went away pretty quick,” he says. “It was almost unbearable, to be honest.”

That’s when he figured he’d set a series of small goals. That started with logging his food on MyFitnessPal and his physical activity — limited though it was — with UA Record.

“I figured if that’s what I could do, I’ll do it,” he recalls. “I’m not going to sit on the couch and feel sorry for myself. Each week I tracked and saw a snapshot of what I’d done. That first week, I couldn’t even do a pushup. But with each week that passed, I could go back to that first week and see what I couldn’t do. It helped motivate me.”

It also marked the time when Logan became a Connected Fitness convert, which he admits he “had never bought into” previously, despite the logo on the door of his workplace.

BACK ON HIS FEET

One of my favorite people and best physical therapist around @drkimbo09 . Someone who gave up hours and hours of her time to get me to walk again. Can’t ever thank someone enough for that kind of support but if you need some pt you better call @_fxstudios bc the whole team is on that level.

A post shared by Rick Logan (@rick_logan) on Oct 14, 2016 at 8:45am PDT

Logan’s rehab was slow, but steady. He worked with Hanson — a physical therapist and clinic director at FX — regularly. She started with the basics of strengthening his core. It was a fine line, she explains, between pushing him to where he felt like he was making progress and adjusting when he simply couldn’t physically accomplish basic exercises.

“You could tell he was still positive for sure,” Hanson remembers. “But you could also tell he was sort of scared and unsure how it would all go. It was clear he had a stroke. The left side of his body was extremely weak.”

But Logan’s “animal” nature helped him more than most people. Because he was in such good shape, his body was able to rediscover the pathways that reactivated his neuromuscular system quicker. And because he was logging his diet on MyFitnessPal and his activity, exercise and sleep in UA Record, he and the FX staff were better able to contour his rehab program to meet his body’s progress.

Within an amazing three weeks after suffering the episodes, he was walking without the cane he had relied on. Not long after, he was doing regular exercises like glute bridges. Next came the row machine or stationary bike. Eventually, he was lifting weights again. Today, he’s even running a little bit.

“If you’re going through hell, keep going” -Winston Churchill #workout #nevergiveup #grind #teamrick #fitness #underarmour #fx

A post shared by Rick Logan (@rick_logan) on May 5, 2017 at 4:56am PDT

He’s not all the way back — and in fact, like his father, he probably never will be. But “to look at him now, you’d never know” he had a stroke, according to Hanson. And most important, he’s back to doing what he loves most: working with clients. Logan is now the fitness manager at the FX Studios 10 Light Street location in downtown Baltimore, just across the Inner Harbor from Under Armour’s global headquarters, and still works with 20–25 clients per week.

He’s been humbled, he admits, and takes nothing for granted anymore. But he also admits he’s been educated: Ironically, without this experience, he may never have fully understood what Connected Fitness could do for his understanding of his own body.

“I’ve learned through this process that it’s not just one thing that goes into your fitness,” he says. “There’s sleep, exercise, nutrition, stress, your energy levels — there are so many things that go into it that if you ignore one of them, you’re just not going to get to where you want to be.”

Logan is indeed back to where he wants to be: in the gym, pushing people to be their very best.

The post What Happens When a Young Trainer Suffers a Stroke? appeared first on Under Armour.

http://ift.tt/2qYbaeh