#bc he realized he didn't have to put on a performance for anyone

[sastielsfandom]

So many people do things out of obligation they can't believe the lengths people go out of love.

[rrosamariaa]

my top 5 favorite book wolfstar moments

this is all for funsies. I'm going to be very honest here: I don't really think wolfstar is implied in the books, but I feel like if I put my shipper googles I CAN prove that those two were, at least, a bit weird about each other!

1. Remus "ideals" going askrew for Sirius:

We have two moments in the books where we see Remus being pretty ruthless when it came to the war, he thinks that if there's a way to put a enemy down then you should do it:

prisioner of azkaban, chapter eighteen:

"You should have realized," said Lupin quietly, "if Voldemort didn't kill you, we would. Good-bye, Peter."

deathly hollows, chapter 5:

Lupin looked aghast. “Harry, the time for Disarming is past! These people are trying to capture and kill you! At least Stun if you aren’t prepared to kill!”

However, when he was talking to Harry about Sirius reciving the dementor's kiss this is what Mr. Lupin has to offer:

prisioner of azkaban, chapter twelve:

[...] Lupin drank a little more butterbeer, then said, "It's the fate that awaits Sirius Black. It was in the Daily Prophet this morning. The Ministry have given the dementors permission to perform it if they find him." [...] "He deserves it," [harry] said suddenly. "You think so?" said Lupin lightly. "Do you really think anyone deserves that?"

This makes me actually go bonkers like... When he found out it was Peter all along he was full on ready to kill him but when he belived it was Sirius doing the same damn thing then suddenly no one deserves it... christ we see you remus lupin, we see you...

2. Moving in thogeter

I don't even have anything to say for this one just.. *gestures vaguely*

Order of the phoenix, chapter 6:

[...] and Lupin, who was staying in the house with Sirius but who left it for long periods to do mysterious work for the Order [...]

It's so funny cos like... he didn't need to do that... no one else is staying there even though it's the order's HQ.

And we know that as poor as Remus is he does have a house (Sirius stays there for a bit at the end of GOF) so he just... moves in... just because. yea.

a little extra scene that it's kinda funny, imagine finding out your teacher and godfather are dating by calling said godfather and said teacher picks up... lol :

Harry opened his eyes to find that he was looking up out of the kitchen fireplace at the long, wooden table, where a man sat poring over a piece of parchment. “Sirius?” The man jumped and looked around. It was not Sirius, but Lupin. “Harry!” he said, looking thoroughly shocked. “What are you — what’s happened, is everything all right?”

3. Remus is Sirius' good boy

Okay I will try not to ramble about this one but... I can't help it. He quite literally calls Remus a good boy you can not make this shit up.

Order of the phoenix, chapter 9:

Sirius, who was right beside Harry, let out his usual barklike laugh. “No one would have made me a prefect, I spent too much time in detention with James. Lupin was the good boy, he got the badge.”

I think what drives me insane about this one is that even though Remus had the same sense of humor as the other boys (although his was quieter and dry), they were a bit different. Sirius himself says that Remus would make them feel ashamed of themselves sometimes and, of course it depends on how you view Sirius, but to me I feel like he is a person that doesn't really put up with things just to please someone and so I feel like if it were a random person he would just go like "Well if you don't like what we do fuck off I guess" but since it was Remus he doesn't get annoyed at all and it makes it seem like he has a soft spot for Remus:

Order of the phoenix, chapter 29:

“Of course he was a bit of an idiot!” said Sirius bracingly. “We were all idiots! Well — not Moony so much,” he said fairly, looking at Lupin, but Lupin shook his head.

likeee that's his boy!!

4. Giving harry a joint present

You see, this one is very funny to me bc I was watching Sex and the city a few weeks ago and there's a scene where Carrie takes Mr. Big as her plus one to a wedding and of course she asks him to put his name on the present and he just. refuses. He has several commitment issues and even tho they were together for months at that point he thought a joint present "was too much".

And naturally my first thought was "oh wow that's so crazy bc in the children's book series 'Harry Potter', harry's godfather and teacher gave him a joint present without second thought". After moving in together. yea.

Order of the phoenix, chapter 23:

Sirius and Lupin had given Harry a set of excellent books entitled Practical Defensive Magic and Its Use Against the Dark Arts, [...]

how does that makes you feel mr.big

5. Intimacy

Last but not least (literally I think this is my favorite?) three moments that I think it shows us just how close those two are. Not even romantically, but in friendship too.

Order of the Phoenix, chapter 14:

[...] said Sirius with a wry smile. “I know she’s a nasty piece of work, though — you should hear Remus talk about her.”

We know Remus is a Nice Guy. He does everything he can to maintain at least a civil relationship with the people around him (save moments of distrees and his little cynical comments in poa, of course). And so the fact that he has a little "can I be mean?" moment with Sirius is just so funny... I just know Sirius supports all Remus' moments of haterism <3

Order of the phoenix, chapter 5:

“Molly, you’re not the only person at this table who cares about Harry,” said Lupin sharply. “Sirius, sit down.” Mrs. Weasley’s lower lip was trembling. Sirius sank slowly back into his chair, his face white

Order of the phoenix, chapter 29:

“I’m coming up there to have a word with Snape!” said Sirius force-fully and he actually made to stand up, but Lupin wrenched him backdown again.

I know people always talks about those 2 moments with the sense of like... oh wow remus asks and Sirius obeys thats hot and I AGREE it's the same thing I said before: If it was anyone else I think he would go "fuck off no" but since it's Remus he just do it unquestioned.

but ALSO. I feel like it does show how close they are... Close enough to push someone backwards etc those two lived together for more than a decade... they are Close and are used to each other and I think that's beautiful :')

[erzva]

…

zoro

how he shows love

acts of service & physical touch

zoro is a very sufficient and blunt, cut to the chase kinda guy bc he doesn't like waiting. he prefers things to be direct. he's not good with words and he doesn’t see the point in being. he doesn't like talking bc he's more of a listener, so he isn't too big on words of affirmations, in both ways.

he would get annoyed with disgusting over the top phrases about how great he is or how much you love him. even worse if you use stupid petnames. he would just be very weirded out and annoyed.

he's awkward with words. he never seems to be able to put what he's thinking into words correctly. it frustrates him that he is bad at conversing. most he can do is say that you're cool or impressive. if you're looking for a romantic poet, he's not the one for you. he just trusts you know that he loves and cares for you without having to put it into complicated words. the most you’ll get from him is an “i love you”/“i’m in love with you”. that’s as straight forward as it gets. he can do that.

he's an ‘actions speak louder than words’ person. he'll make sure you feel as loved as possible with the little amount of sweet talk you get from him. but just bc he can't tell you how much he loves you in riddled poems doesn't mean he isn't loving. it’s evident that he’s in love with you with all the things he does for you. you definitely get prince:ss treatment.

he's always near you, hovering like a shadow. he seems like a puppy the way he follows you around. or rather a grumpy wolf, ready to ward off anyone who gets too close. he sneaks little touches throughout the day and always finds a way to surprise you and make you feel special. and he gives the best hugs. they're warm and soft and he just holds you so perfectly. or maybe it’s just that you fit into him so well bc he’s so buff. it definitely adds to the confortness.

he doesn't really like/need quality time. he is a very out of sight out of mind person and spending a lot of time with someone is not an indicator of how much you love them to him. at least that’s what he used to think before you came along. he can’t help but feel warm whenever you seek him out to spend your free time with him. and he has found himself doing the same with you without even realizing it, accompanying you almost everywhere you went.

what he needs from you

physical touch & quality time / affirmations

your love prevails even after long periods of time apart but he would still rather have you with him all the time. that way he has an eye on you and can protect you. not that you can’t do it yourself, he just feels more at ease that way. you not being with him makes him worry and feel stressed so quality time is definitely something he needs now. you don't have to be doing anything important, just being together with you is good for him.

he likes it when you watch him train for example. having your eyes on him makes him wanna perform even better than usual and catching you staring at his chest or back is always something he looks forward to. and even though he gives his best and powers himself out, he’s never too tired for a little fun afterwards. your reward for being so patient.

he especially loves it when you join him for a nap. there's nothing that makes him feel more content than feeling your warmth and body close to his while he's sleeping. again, he likes having you close in case anything happens but it's also just very comforting and comfortable. he sleeps much better with you. he didn't know what a good night of sleep was before you joined him for a nap for the first time. and now he hates it whenever he has to sleep alone. but waking up alone is even worse. you need to join him for naps. if you see him napping just go lay down beside him so he can feel ok.

you’re good with your words. (even if you aren’t, it seems that way to him bc he’s not) and he admires that. he’s fascinated with how well you articulate yourself. he holds the same admiration for robin. only that his admiration for you is a bit stronger because your words are often directed at him, spoken in secret in your chambers with no one else to hear but him. and unfortunately he has grown to like it.

…

[inchidentally]

I'm so curious to hear what you think about non RPF differences between Lando with Carlos, DR and Oscar. I don't do a lot of RPF shipping personally but your takes on all of them are so intriguing and feel pretty truthful. I feel like fandom ignores that it hasn't all been smooth sailing with Lando and his teammates and want to know what you think about the less rose-tinted side of that?

okay so jsyk I always end up a little rose-tinted even when talking about non-RPF Lando relationships but I like to hope I stay truthful in terms of not inventing any kind of sexual/dating/etc narrative that just doesn't exist. and I'm afraid I'm about to go insane in my response so hopefully you don't mind that either lol.

also @twinkodium is so much better at timelines than I am so pls can you add your part to this if you get a chance??

so just to establish which I think we all know: Lando has a tendency to take his warm heart out of his chest and hold it up to anyone who seems even remotely kind or friendly. yes, he's got a bite to him and a temper but honestly that's all also part of being far too open to people. if a person - especially other men and boys - show him even a hint of affection or camaraderie then he's all in immediately. especially as the youngest driver on the grid for so many years.

truly, I think Carlos and Daniel didn't know what to do when Lando put his little beating heart into their big, clumsy hands. the fact that the level of openness and devotion they got - immediately - from Lando was so much down to Lando's insecurity in F1 and how much he was dealing with mentally, was way too much for two guys who honestly only expect to have a laugh sometimes with their teammate. maybe be chummy enough to hang out sometimes and make media responsibilities less tedious.

and Lando was so happy to be the adoring satellite, shrieking with laughter over all their jokes in exchange for him latching securely onto an established F1 personality. but Carlos and Daniel were running the show while they were his teammates - they were the entertainment and Lando was sort of a conduit for the adoring fans. and what's interesting is I think that we can pretty visibly see the turn with each of them where Lando came thudding down to that realization himself. that he would have to change his own ideas about friendship with both of them in order to remain friends at all. there's the infamous 2020 carlando "breakup" gifset (here) where Lando's face just sours at Carlos in his traitorous blood red suit making some offhand comment

and Lando cuts such a wide berth from him that it puts two whole people between them. by the time Lando reaches the reporters waiting at the media pen, his face looks gray and set

and it's like damn, we straight up witnessed Lando standing up for himself and setting up some boundaries with Carlos.

the moments with Daniel were more scattered but you could see them when Daniel was doing his usual attempts at the bromance thing and sometimes Lando was just. not. having it. there's the moment in particular of Daniel coming up behind him and hooking his chin over Lando's shoulder and oh. you can feel the coolness coming off Lando bc he's genuinely going through something and needs a friend, not another performance for the cameras.

ohhhh and the response of "no one" when asked who his best friend was on the grid was before casting around a bit and finally saying Carlos. parallel that to his irritated dismissal of the journalist pushing for carlando in Vegas and reminding them that none of these guys are his real friends they're his F1 buddies and he "hates them" when racing them. by the time 2023 rolled around Lando grew up, set up boundaries and will only give what he chooses to his friendships with Carlos and Daniel. which is overall so much healthier and has probably ensured that those friendship didn't die out completely. but they're not what they once were for him. Carlos and Daniel are allowed to visit the garden of Eden that is being fully intimate with Lando - but the gates always shut behind them when it’s time to leave.

genuinely I don't blame Carlos or even Daniel (even if I don't like a lot about him) bc literally neither of them has ever had a friend like Lando - and probably don't know any guy like him. and they're both such Typical Dudes - as well as being fully a different generation to Lando - so how were they supposed to know a sensitive, naive kid like this would be in F1 let alone their teammate? guys they know never butterfly themselves open to other guys except for extremely long term friendships - if even then. Lando above all wants to have a good heart and he just trusts people, and while it makes men absolutely crazy about him it's surely got to get him hurt a lot. you can even see it with his media pen work where he reacts to difficult questions or fairly open hostility with a wide disarming smile because he'd rather bring someone round than openly fight with them. even Daniel who definitely utilizes his smile to dominate and disarm can still easily be baited into hostility compared to Lando. but when someone persists in being a twat to Lando, he just closes off with that cold, sour look and bam. that moron just lost themselves any access to the garden of Eden.

and I'm not saying we know enough about Oscar to say that Lando's heart is definitely safe with him, but the absolutely huge difference is that Oscar came into being his teammate fully aware of who Lando is and he was willing to hold back and be content just being a teammate and let a friendship develop if Lando felt so inclined. *hint: this sign of respect and deference will be significant!

like we saw how they fell into this twinning thing at first where Oscar would mirror Lando a lot of the time - out of nerves but also deference. then as the season went on and the car still struggled, they developed sort of a tentative camaraderie born out of equally blighted hopes.

but what's really interesting is how much Silverstone was truly the turning point and not even in a fandom goggles sense. I isolated the following moments out in a video below: there's this hilarious little moment right before the fan stage where Oscar is asking Lando something like 'what's that (playing)?' and Lando seems to think Oscar is referring to the (very obvious) crowd noise and Oscar goes "no not them you idiot the song!" and it goes back and forth wayyy too long for the brain cells I would like to assume they have before they finally work out between them what song is playing.

and Lando had by the time of the fan stage momentarily set aside his own euphoria and positively showered Oscar with praise at press briefing after the race. he also repeated it at the fan stage in front of Oscar for good measure! and clearly loves it when Oscar says how he was rooting for Lando leading the race at one point.

then, like something out of a movie, as they're posing for the photo in front of the crowd, Oscar slips that arm around Lando's waist and urges him closer and you can see the whole of every thought on Lando's face. the look of surprise as Oscar's strong arm jostles his body a little, the blossoming delight, the 'woah is he really initiating this? he never does this!', and finally the big beaming smile as he wraps his arm around Oscar and settles in.

and just a few races later when Lando has another podium under his belt and has qualified 2nd at the Dutch GP, there's this other movie moment where it suddenly clicks for Lando… Oscar will always show up for him no matter what. not just when they're both doing well or both struggling, he'll always show up for Lando. out loud and where everyone can see but without a hint of performance to it.

and when you scroll through @piastrisms wonderful post-race gif compilations, you can see that dynamic shift even more to the suddenly much more tentative but openly kind of 'crushing' on each other. Oscar starts to let himself think that maybe, just maybe! the Lando of his 8-year social media obsession really likes Oscar for who he is and not just as a team obligation! this leads to him taking a few more risks during the McLaren challenges and by the time they film the beloved Austin material, Oscar has actually started to surprise Lando. from there on you can see Oscar's relief at making Lando really laugh and smile build his confidence right at the exact same time that Lando looks thrown off center and his boundaries start falling away. that mirroring they used to do started to build into trusting each other, which then led to them genuinely liking each other, and then mutually wanting to stay together as teammates. and isn't that level of security something new for Lando!

and you know what I noticed in all this that has me frothing and biting? that instead of Lando handing his beating heart over to his teammates and having it bruised and withdrawn? with Oscar, it's been the exact opposite. Lando had finally decided to be cautious from the start and keep this new anomaly teammate at arm's length - and for a while felt relieved bc the anomaly turned out to be so damn competent and quick! *oh and the anomaly was showing a level of respect and deference that Lando was not at all used to, which was so very nice but also ?? was the anomaly a little bit cold toward him ?? but then Silverstone happened and dawn broke. we finished the season out with Lando actually looking to Oscar for affirmations and wriggling excitedly and looking at Oscar with that wide-open expression on his face and Lando clearly beginning to wonder if maybe his sacred heart might fit comfortably in Oscar's hands that are smaller and gentler than the other men he's known on the grid? maybe how much more steady and careful and devoted Oscar is when it comes to his racing is reflected in how he has treated Lando, so unlike the usual "Lando effect" bromances that get all the attention and that the cameras and fans eat up. maybe the big, traditional handsome alphas and their big displays of affection are one kind of friend for Lando but perhaps not so good as a teammate. and maybe a friendship that grows too steadily and quietly for networks and social media teams to take much of an interest is another kind of friend, and maybe just the right kind of teammate.

[sageistri]

it may sound harsh but honestly it feels like a lot of people around here just don’t know jimin very well. a lot of people love jimin visually and the sultry androgynous image that has been associated with him for years and just ignore all of the other traits he has in favor of that brand. jimin is someone who has ALWAYS had a strong emotional connection to the group, its members, their music and fans. he’s always had a preference for happy concepts and has stated that concepts like lie (and lc by extension) have a negative impact on his mood and anyone who knows jimin knows that’s true bc he immerses himself in the performance. jimin has given signs left and right to the kind of art and concepts he gravitates towards and so many people just ignore that bc it does not fit with who they want him to be. all of the most hated bts releases like ptd and ytc jimin loves. so why did people expect him to suddenly become an entirely different person during his solo career? i get that those might not be everyone’s cup of tea but what is the point in stanning someone if you don’t like anything they do except their appearance? the difference between then and now is that right now it is undeniable what message he’s sending and there’s nothing these people can distract themselves with to ignore it.

personally, i feel like most of the hypernegative reactions ive seen this era are a result of people actually realizing what jimin truly values and the fact that he does not fit into the tiny aesthetic box that they want him to. so many people are overreacting to the content this era bc they resent jimin for not being who they want him to be.

atp i think a good chunk of people need to realize they’re simply not interested in what jimin wants to put out and keep it movin bc sticking around just to shittalk and doompost about the creative decisions he makes is not doing ANYONE any favors, most certainly not jimin.

(for the record, this post does not refer to people who have normal negative feedback and can engage in normal discussion about content)

You're right. I think the concept could play a huge role in people's enjoyment of the songs but I am also one of those people who didn't like it and one thing I've always hammered on is that I don't care about concepts. What I care about is how the music sounds to me sonically. Butter, dynamite and ptd are all on the same spectrum but I hate dynamite and I like ptd and Butter. So with me it's really all about how it sounds to me. We're not going to like everything. So yes it could be all that but It could also simply just be a case of people not liking the songs alone.

But one problem with new age kpop as a whole is that they have this thing where they all agree a song is good simply because it's "sexy". But anything happy and bubbly is considered horrible now. And yes like the typical kpop stan, some pjms do have this problem with jimin. And it can be seen with how they can't seem to let go of the tailor of chaos concept, and the obsession with wanting him to do something "conceptual". Again, I wish we wouldn't conflate people simply just not vibing with the songs to anything else.

Good for us all that he's in a better place mentally, but it's not going to make someone like something they don't like and I doubt jimin would expect that. And even then, I wish people could admit that they are not on the same page as him without doing all this. I mean telling them jimin is in a different frame of mind isn't going to make the song sound good to them, because there's nothing anyone can do about that, but what they can do is not act like the world is ending just because you Don't like one project.

It is sad that jimin is barely even two albums in and we're already having these conversations. And yes it is a sign that some of y'all do need to unstan.

[mins-fins]

five chronicles — ricky shen

the five most important moments of their relationship in ricky's eyes.

tags :: ricky shen x m!reader , chronological but also non-chronological , ricky is super in love , specific descriptions bc i love them , ricky-centric , reader is a bundle of joy , they're made for each other , fluff start angst end

ONE. ( their first interaction )

of course, meeting someone for the first time is an important staple in any new relationship, but on a survival show, it's way weirder.

ricky wasn't really close to anyone but his fellow yuehua trainees, and he didn't even know if he would make friends, due to how awkward he was. he wasn't even sure what was going on when y/n first approached him.

now y/n, y/n is very pretty, like— super pretty, all ricky could do when he was talking to him was stare at his face, there seemed to be absolutely no mistakes on it, like he was carved by the gods.

"hi! ricky right?"

ricky pauses for a moment, clearing his throat as he gathers his thoughts. "um, yeah, yeah that's me" he responds, sounding much more awkward than he wanted to.

the unknown boy smiles. "sato y/n, it's nice to meet you!" he extends his hand for ricky to shake, and he takes it, noticing the major difference in their hand temperatures.

"i watched your introduction video, your very hilarious".

ricky feels his face burn red, he doesn't know for what, though. he just wasn't used to such words from random pretty boys, but he genuinely finds the compliment endearing.

"i.. thank you" he says, voice much lower than he intended. "that's very nice of you".

"ah, it's really no problem, complimenting people is just a second nature to me".

ricky simply laughs, waving his hand. "it's fine, i just admire your nice nature".

it was weird for someone to just walk up to him out of the blue, compliment him out of nowhere. ricky only really received compliments from his parents' friends, or random people on the street, not someone so much like him.

he always thanks himself in his head that y/n had approached him, because he didn't even realize how much of a turn his life would take from this point.

TWO. ( dream team )

"ah, were on the same team! how exciting!"

y/n comments unconsciously, addressing ricky, he doesn't look to him though, which confuses ricky greatly. he looks towards the male, who just rocks back and forth, whistling.

"you were talking to me?"

"yeah" he responds, smiling politely at the shen. ricky simply blinks, eyes stuck on his figure. he can't help but stare, he's pretty, super pretty, he has this soft smile on his lips and his brown eyes look like they hold universes in them.

is it bad to stare? he might look like he's glaring, and that would just be a field day for all those mnet editors. he sighs and looks away, putting his hands behind his back.

they were on the same team, performing back door by stray kids. it was safe to say that ricky was nervous, but y/n seemed to be confident. ricky wanted to have that kind of attitude, but he just couldn't.

he found his hands shaking almost constantly, his stomach felt all over the place, and as he found himself backstage, he felt his fight or flight instincts kick in as he almost bolted away.

"jesus, are you cold?"

"no, i'm worried" he admits rather openly. y/n hums at the words, understanding.

"you have nothing to worry about, your going to do great" he whispers, and though ricky wants to believe the words, there's this thing that just makes him not want to.

"i want to believe that, but i can't".

"you can't?"

his hands start shaking almost faster as he's asked that question. they're up in a few minutes, he can't possibly explain it now.

still, he'll try.

"i don't know, it's like theres this barrier stopping me from feeling any kind of confidence, it's like it's making all of my anxiety escalate".

y/n doesn't interrupt him, just lets him talk, lets him pour out whatever feelings he has. he hums again, taking ricky's shaking hand. "alright, i get it, you feel anxious, take a deep breath".

the older male instructs, squeezing his hand as a way of encouragement. ricky doesn't know why he feels his anxiousness already going away, but he nods, taking in a deep breath, then exhaling.

"you know you shouldn't doubt yourself, right? everyone knows how amazing you are, and you did amazing during that practice, your gonna crush this performance, i'm sure of it".

y/n smiles at him once again, rubbing his hand for a moment before letting it go. "thank you, i really needed that" ricky mutters, not knowing what this strange fluttering feeling in his stomach was.

"it's really no problem, i just want to make sure my teammates are alright".

ricky nods, feeling his face go red once again when y/n pokes his cheek, giggling. "well, you better crush that stage".

THREE. ( a somewhat-strange conversation )

y/n had found his way into ricky's room, and eventually ricky's bed. it seemed to happen in a flash, where he had just woken up and now there was just this random pretty boy in his bed.

not that he was complaining, of course.

y/n looks up, his head still laid onto ricky's pillow. "so" he begins, starting another one of his somewhat strange conversations, he rolls over as he stares at ricky's figure.

"so?" ricky asks, craning his neck to turn and look at y/n, who was staring back with that signature smile of his. "so what?"

"what do you plan to do after the show? if you don't debut that is.."

ricky shrugs, fully turning around so he could get a better look at him. "i'll probably just go home, my parents want me to take over their company".

y/n snorts, amused. "ah, so you're that kind of rich, you could buy mnet if you wanted to!"

ricky laughs, and y/n continues. "you really took young and rich way too seriously".

he nods, enamored by the males words. "and what about you? what do you plan to do?"

y/n hums, flopping back down onto ricky's bed. "i'll probably just go back to school, i almost quit for this shit".

"i have no doubt you'll debut" ricky says almost unconsciously, the words had been on the tip of his tongue for what seemed like forever.

the older male laughs. "i have no doubt you'll debut" he emphasizes the you'll, as if he's saying a completely different sentence. "you've got this".

"you have a lot of confidence in me, but you never talk about yourself" ricky questions, yet it doesn't really come out like a question, more of a blank statement.

"if it happens, it happens, i'm just moving with the flow" he responds simply. ricky doesn't really understand that whole mentality, but he just laughs at y/n's words.

what a spectacle he is.

FOUR. ( favorite couple )

"whose your best friend, n/n?"

y/n hums, pretending to think when he knows his answer will be ricky. the two of them are clearly pretty close, he's the type of person to become best friends with someone after only a few hours of knowing them, and his answer was almost obvious if anything.

"ricky! right? were very close" he replies, the answer on his mind, almost rehearsed. ricky freezes, as if he didn't expect that. he had spent the past few days with him, just talking to him, he enjoyed his company, and y/n showered him with hugs and affection.

"me? i've never really been someone's best friend before" he mumbles, the gratefulness in his voice clear.

y/n giggles as he intertwines their hands. "well, your mine now! you can't get rid of me!" he yells, leaning onto ricky.

ricky simply stares, a habit of his whenever y/n is around. he captures his attention so easily, not even having to do anything spectacular to. it's not everyday someone he'd just met no more than two months ago makes him feel so.. weird.

he simply found y/n endearing, amazing. he was the epitome of joy, so grateful for his opportunities and everything given to him. he's patient, doesn't force anyone into anything they don't want to. he loved everything about him, his eyes, his voice, his personality, his humor, his smile, his laugh, his—

oh, he's rambling now isn't he?

he just loves how he feels around him, he doesn't feel any of the other platonic feelings he's felt for the other trainees, he feels love, and not just in a friendship way, but in a genuinely romantic way.

y/n is just amazing like that.

"i don't plan on getting rid of you anyway" he teases back, leaning his head onto y/n's. the two look so cute, like a newly wed couple or something.

"aww, they look like a couple" junhyeon teases, earning boisterous laughter from taerae, who definitely agrees.

they just seem made for each other.

FIVE. ( our final goodbyes )

ricky was originally stressed.

he had been scratching his hands all day, worried that he might not be able to debut, he was so worried that he'd barely gotten any sleep the previous night. everything in boys planet had led up to this, and it was an obviously stressful day for everyone.

fortunately, y/n was right there.

"calm down, ricky, nervousness makes your posture bad".

he runs a hand up and down ricky's back, and ricky can't fathom how he's so calm. "how are you so calm? you should be biting off your nails by now".

"as i said, if it happens it happens, just don't stress yourself out about it so much, i'm sure you'll make it".

y/n was right.

as ricky sits in his chair, having won at p04, he crosses his fingers in hope that y/n's name will somehow be called next. he finally made it, but he wanted to make sure y/n did too, he wanted to at least debut with him.

p03: seok matthew.

p02: sung hanbin.

p01: zhang hao.

there's really only a sliver of hope left, anyone could be called for p09, anyone could become the final member of the group, and he hopes to god that y/n makes it, he doesn't know what'd he do if he didn't.

"and rank p09 is.."

y/n y/n y/n y/n y/n y/n y/n y/n y/n y/n—

"han yujin!"

oh.

ricky closed his eyes. he's grateful, but also angry, so angry. at himself. he made it and y/n didn't. after all he did for him? after he encouraged him to do his best? after he made sure that everyone felt alright and were in their best head spaces for the performance?

he wants to cry.

he can't.

he wants to throw up.

he can't.

ricky went into this survival show stuff thinking nothing of it. he didn't expect to debut, he didn't expect to be loved, he didn't expect to fall in love.

and, he didn't expect to be so heartbroken over y/n not debuting with him.

he finds it even harder to accept as he watches y/n cry, hugging junhyeon in the crowd. his face stays still, not moving, as if he's unaffected, but he truly can't bring himself to come to terms with it.

all he wanted to do was to talk to y/n.

he immediately began searching for him when he stepped into the crowd to say goodbye, giving both jay and jeonghyeon hugs as he searched for the seemingly invisible boy.

"there you are" his voice whispers. ricky sighs, smiling, although disappointed.

"here i am" he replies, face not moving. y/n has dry tears on his face, but he's still smiling. "i told you, i was sure you'd make it".

ricky bites his inner cheek, the words only having been told to him a few hours ago. "yeah, guess you are a fortune teller".

"i couldn't tell my own fortune though".

even if he's trying to cope with humor, it seems to not work, as tears start welling up in his eyes once again. "i'm so proud of you, you know that?"

"y/n—"

"i became friends with you because you were cool, i seriously do still think your cool, i was so amazed by everything you did, and when you agreed that i was your best friend, it made me feel special, you made me feel special".

ricky isn't sure how he keeps his composure, even with all the shouting and chatter going on around him, y/n is the only person he sees, the only one he hears, his only focus.

"i wanted to debut with you.." he mumbles, taking his hands, probably for the last time.

y/n smiles, and ricky wipes the tears from his face. "me too, but you did it! go on, have fun with your group".

it felt like a piece of him was being broken away, as if this was one of the most heartbreaking moments of his entire life. he takes a deep breath and wipes y/n's tears away.

ricky pulls him into a hug, sighing. "i'm so sorry, i— i failed you".

"you didn't" y/n chuckles, running a hand up and down his back. "it's okay, you made it, that's all that matters".

but you matter too, he wants to say. the words are on the tip of his tongue, he wants to say them so bad, but he couldn't, like he was being prevented from doing so.

"don't think it's your fault, i'm still proud of you, okay?"

ricky nods, he doesn't want to let go, but he has too, because he has to go, everything has to end eventually.

he finally lets go of y/n's hands after what seems like forever, but he still can't seem to step away.

"you know i love you, right ricky?"

the words seem so random, but y/n is random, even through tears and with everyone else talking in the background, he still finds the confidence to say those words.

"i love you too" ricky replies.

that was probably the last time he'd ever say those words.

AUTHORS NOTE — HOLY MOTHER OF GOD this was tragic!!! i genuinely felt like sobbing while writing this wtf ╥﹏╥

[gold-rhine]

please share correct opinions on alhaitham and kaveh👀

genshin leaks tw i guess. they are both right and they are both wrong actually. like fans will be like omg this ship is canon bc their quest name is "Pride and Prejudice" and then literally not look at what that reference means, as if P&P entire thesis wasn't on how two leads both have to get over their flawed perception of each other and grow personally after admitting their own shortcomings

the whole throughline of them being narrative foils and mirrors for each is like. yes, alhaitham was right about kaveh martyring himself for selfish reasons, and kaveh was so appalled to hear that bc he wants ppl to think he's perfect. which like yeah, was his trauma response mechanism, but no, it doesn't mean it's healthy and shouldn't be challenged. being close with someone doesn't mean they don't see your flaws and think you're perfect, it means they DO see your flaws and love you in spite of them. yes, kaveh has high ideals of combining beauty and practicality and of everyone participating in creation, no, it doesn't mean that him carrying other ppl or people-pleasing at any opportunity is good way to reach his ideals, it obviously doesn't work like that. yes, kaveh is lonely, but he 100% put himself into this position, he has ppl who would be willing to support him, he hangs out with cyno, tighnari, brags about having friends and fans, he's literally akademiya celebrity, he could reach out and ask for help at any moment, but that would ruin his facade of perfect success, so he doesn't. literally he opened up about his problems one time and alhaitham immediately took him in despite their broken friendship. the only reason he doesn't actually own the part of this same house is because he refused out of pride, he obviously wants to feel superior to alhaitham, and he used his social standing and popularity as proof, which is why he's so shocked and dismissive of the idea that alhaitham can have friends or do smth heroic, and now the only way he has left to feel superior is to insist he's better bc he's empathetic, while alhaitham is not, so kaveh keeps falling for every scam despite being a genius. bc he sees this as him being good and that's the last refuge of his ego. tldr great ideals, clown execution

but alhaitham is also performing clown behavior. he's not ambitious like kaveh, yes, but his flaw of pride is in pretending that if he's right he can sound like an asshole. bro has "language is the ultimate tool and weapon" all over his stories, he knows that how you word things fucking matter and he knew that kaveh is fragile about his ego and emotions, yet he didn't try to talk to kaveh on the terms he could accept and help him reach the conclusion, but bluntly poked him into the weakest spot instead. and yes, alhaitham has feelings and they were obv hurt and he's still obv highkey cares and lowkey bitter at kaveh at the same time. fellas, is it rational to meet your worstie drunk and miserable in a tavern, learn he's bankrupt, and immediately take him home as a roommate. and like explain that you don't care about him, but you did it to have another genius through whose presence you can perfect your vision of the world. and then every time you talk you tell said genius that he's devolving into a fungus and shit like that. which is how perfecting a world vision works obviously. yeah sounds very logic, very rational, very objective, and no confused feelings to me.

no, their fight is not bc they have incompatible ideals and can never understand each other. they can understand each other very well, they can't get over their egos. kaveh spent years wanting to take back his words to his father and vowing to never hurt anyone again, yet he refuses to see realize what he said years ago hurt his best friend and he doesn't take it back despite them literally living in the same house and having that opportunity every day. he accuses alhaitham of being an egoist, yet he his own ego makes him pretend to have perfect life and have no problems instead of opening up to ppl. alhaitham accuses kaveh of being irrational and in denial about his true motivations, yet is in denial about his own motivations for becoming roommates, instead facetiously framing it like it was strictly for his own purely academic goals. they are mirrors, but they refuse to actually look at each other.

if hoyo has an ounce of sense, this is obv a setup for character arcs of them growing and getting over their pride and prejudices to be able to work together and combine alhaitham's strategic thinking with kaveh's groundbreaking designs.

[love-toxin]

does anyone else share the experience of watching one (1) well done edit on tiktok and suddenly becoming awash with the most foul, feral ideas? haha? no? :)

(cws: sprinklings of worshipper!eddie, f!angelface, crushes, sex in exchange for goods, drugs, casual hookup culture, some mentions of virginity, kind of an amateur/pro sex dynamic, eddie being a pussy-starved lil fiend)

bc i am absolutely tearing up my rug going crazy caveman feral for that good ol "sexin up ur drug dealer for free weed" with Eddie, except he brought up the idea first because he really, really, really wanted to sleep with you. you have a bit of a reputation for being.....loose, so to speak, and while Eddie certainly doesn't demand it, he does make a cheeky and almost meek offer that you end up taking cause why not? your life is more stressful than people think and a steady supply of free weed and somebody to smoke it with is worth a couple mediocre trips behind the barn every week. you won't even have to fake your orgasms cause you're sure he'll just be focused on getting himself off, he didn't say he was a virgin but that doesn't mean he wasn't when you first got together.

except even that first time is good. he's a little shaky but he's passionate, and he's rough but only in the good ways. he doesn't try to choke you without warning or leave bruises or other stuff, he just goes in hard and holds you like he doesn't wanna let you go. it's nice. and once he susses out what you like the best, he quickly figures out how to make you cum and soon he's doing it better than most of the other people you've been with. sometimes it's better than you can do it yourself, and it all stumps you as to how he's so unpopular--cause he's not that bad of a guy, either? he's nice, and he rolls your joints for you without you having to ask, and aside from being a little dorky and loud there's really not much about him that's any weirder than most people. although he's one of the very few who isn't afraid to show it, so you assume that's one of the reasons why he's such a target.

and him kinda being the whole package is kinda dangerous, honestly. because it becomes less and less about the weed really quick. before you know it you've moved on from fucking against a tree in the woods with your clothes still on, to meeting him at his place for something a little more comfortable, and staying overnight more and more often. you haven't even noticed that you haven't been going on dates or meeting people for hookups at all, and even when you consider it you end up steering well clear of it for some unknown reason. you just don't feel like you....need it, really? and even when you try, because it's not like you and Eddie are exclusive (far from it) it's just as mediocre as you remember putting up with and you end up slipping away early the next morning, your mind fuzzy with thoughts about how you wish you had spent that time with Eddie instead.

you know he wouldn't just tap in, tap out, and leave--he takes his time, he's sweet, he makes love to every part of you and he gets so adorably flustered when he realizes you haven't cum after awhile. Eddie buries his face between your thighs so much it's gone from a thrilling feeling to a natural one, the scrape of his stubble against your folds making you whimper and his soft lips sealing around your clit and sucking the way he does--it just pushes all other thought from your mind and makes you feel like a deity. he's the only guy you've ever let do it raw, the only one you can actually talk to after sex, and he's still the only one who loves giving you head so much that he doesn't stop until he's satisfied, and not just when you wiggle and moan his name a little in a performance to get him to come back up. he's needy and he gets a rush of strength when it comes to holding your thighs apart, one that makes you dizzy in the moment and gives you little finger-shaped bruises to admire in the mirror the morning after.

he's a little weird, sure, but....it's honestly kinda cute. he's always so eager and waiting so expectantly at the picnic table for you to show up, he looks over at you with those big doe eyes every time, and perks up whenever you say something of interest. he shamelessly talks to you at length about his own hobbies when you have an ear to listen, he gives you drives even when he's not asking for sex, he once came all the way out to the other side of town to pick you up and take you to the ER, all cause you got sick off of drinking and had been too scared to call your parents, so you called him--and oh my god, you didn't even realize the truth until now. Eddie Munson is fucking in love with you.

the offer of free drugs was just a guise, a coverup for the real reason he wanted to meet up with you more often. why he acts so interested in you even when your friends and everybody else at school pretends he doesn't even exist. why he treats you so kindly and sweetly and--like a girlfriend, he treats you like a girlfriend. he does things for you without asking for anything in return, and even though you don't kiss he's always distracted by your lips like he's got thoughts running through his head about what he wants to do to them. and if you told him you don't think you're that great, or cried about your problems, or just complained until you were practically shouting out your anger into the ground, Eddie would just pull you close and let you get it all out before he started to calm you down. reassure you that everything will turn out okay, because you're so amazing for so many reasons that you hadn't even noticed or thought about. he's in love with you, he's so in love with you it's painfully obvious and it's baffling to think that you haven't noticed for so long.

but therein lies the real question; do you assume that's really the truth, and confess to him hoping he'll admit his feelings? do you do the same just to realize you were projecting your own crush on him, and have to endure being ridiculed by the town freak and publicly shamed? or do you say nothing, act coy, and try to break things off so you don't have to deal with either of those circumstances? because while having your heart broken sucks, it's a feeling you're so familiar with that you know you can get through it--and on the flipside, you really don't know how to be in a relationship with someone so....genuine, so sincere, so unashamedly himself and who couldn't give a shit about what other people think of him. not like you, someone who can't leave the house without wondering whether you look pretty enough to not get made fun of, even just by your own friends. you can't help but think that someone like Eddie deserves better than a shallow person like that. like you.

so even though you know what you want deep down, and you'd like to indulge Eddie if it's really you he wants, you have to think long and hard about whether or not it's worth it to put your whole life on the line for some guy in the woods who lets you fuck him for free drugs. the guy you stay up late thinking about because you can't get that stupid, sweetly gentle grin out of your damn mind.

[saelterlude]

lc musical clips pt.5!! can't believe this reaches 5 parts. to be fair, the more i watch the cooler the actors are and the more i love each of their quirks.

funfact before we start, if we exclude CMZ(bcs wtf. you are not 124 y/o CMZ), the average age of LG actors is 28 while the average age of CXS actors is 25 (I didn't take their birth month into account so give or take one)

The oldest being Du Guangyi at 34 y/o and the youngest being Jing Yangqiao at 20 (21 this April).

(pt.1, pt.2, pt.3, pt.4, pt.6, pt.7 here)

68. BONUS, the composer for the musical songs, metablue, posted a composing diary/vlog of her making 'forget about it' aka the encore sofa song. It's a really cool watch, and it's pretty short too.

69. 14/03/2024, Wang Minhui made Cai Qi laugh and break character so hard by sliding on the table that they skip rock paper scissors altogether. Thank youu shimmeringweeds for finding this clip, youre a life saver.

70. 15/03/2024, Zi Bowen is really fun/bratty during CX and his mom's song, he's also been really into that hat and his panicked face during 'Dive Back in Time' tutting is gold. Other than that, Ji Xiaokun and Guo Hongxu are fun as usual.

71. Zhang Jiahao short vid, I love how nonchalant he is. Who gives a damn abt rehearsals when you can play basketball. We got snippets of other songs. And where did he get the random card reader??

(ooh, i'm putting the side actor into focus for once. also, i just realized ZJH is the actor who started swinging when WMH mistook director Li Haolin's name lol i love him.)

72. 16/03/2024 day, blind dog Cai Qi is so funny plss and the way Wang Minhui just let him live with the consequences.

73. 17/03/2024 night, Du Guangyi focused but you can hear Teng Chunpeng cutely messed up 'Dive Back in Time' in the background.

74. 23/02/2024, I don't think I've shared this clip of Du Guangyi playing pattycake(?? IDK the english name. I call it mimimi) with Wu Hanglu.

75. 18/03/2024, Bai Zhuoming mic mishap here, aggressive feet flailing with Wang Minhui and Deng Xianling, and also extended rock paper scissors!

76. 17/03/2024 day, I'll be honest I miss Ding Xingchen. That said, him and Xian Dongyue are having the best sibling wrestle.

77. 17/03/2024 day, same performance as above, and there's Wu Yihan doing overhead RPS.

78. 16/03/2024 night, Guo Hongxu fumbles the sofa/leg choreo again (left leg first man!), Shu Rongbo blubbering bcs GHX twist his arm post-RPS, and Wu Hanglu being the teasing big sister ever.

79. 21/03/2024, he once did overhead, now Wu Yihan is doing hip-height RPS, and he cheated. Shu Rongbo being confused. And they once again give the cutest hug, even for a side hug.

(heh, funny how JXK likes to hogs/blocks the sofa to annoy LG meanwhile SRB is always clearing the sofa for LG.)

80. 23/03/2024 day, very fun performance with Wang Yifei, Zhu Hanbin, and Deng Xianling. I highly recommend watching this. It's so fun I wrote a whole post about it. Also, harmonizing.

81. 22/03/2024, very short but look!! A Jing Yanqiao clip!!! I'm happy, I recently brainrotted on him. I wish he could perform more since I really like his voice but unfortunately I'm pretty sure he's still in school and have a limited schedule. But I will make you all love him before his BDay!

Today's bonus clip is a voice reel of Du Guangyi as Enforcer from the game Arknights! It's very soothing, I can fall asleep to his voice. He's so cool, he's an actor in everything. Musical actor, stage-play actor, TV and films actor, voice actor, he was a child actor too.

But since that's not a musical and it's kinda cheating, here's an actual bonus clip of Zhu Hanbin in Dr. Bloodthirsty (? 嗜血博士) musical. A small 3 person play which is giving me Jekyll and Hyde vibes. He's playing Jonathan, a young psychologist called to examine patient 13. It's really cool, please check it out!

(if anyone ever have a request on who the next bonus clip should be (even the side actors) just say so and I'll do my best. i'm always up for exploring new things)

[jessidogg]

I'm sorry to say this, but your plead to leave Justin alone just perpetuates white male privilege.

1. He criticized Britney Spears, his ex, for her drinking problems when she was a) being forced to perform to be able to see her children, b) forced to get an IUD, c) being financially abused and defamated by her father and ex, and d) recovering from the mental and emotional trauma of being exploited as a child star. This is one of the main reasons he's being so heavily criticized now. It was not only hypocritical, he ended up doing something worse because Britney never drank and drove

2. OF COURSE the cops say he was perfectly polite. He's a rich white man. He had no reason to fear for his life, the cops probably weren't aggressive towards him at all. He also knew he'd be easily bailed out

3. It is EXTREMELY out of touch to attempt to brush what he did under the rug. My uncle was killed by a drunk driver and it left my aunt and cousins devastated and in a really bad way after his death. Drunk drivers have ruined lives for purely selfish reasons. Just because he voiced your favorite animated troll doesn't diminish that

4. He's a grown ass man. He doesn't need you coming to his aid. People are allowed to be mad at him for his reckless and careless behavior. All your PSA does is try to guilt people to stop criticizing him. That's shitty

Hello! I have read all three of your asks and I totally understand where you're coming from! I'm so sorry that your uncle was killed, that is really depressing and sad and I'm praying for your family still💕

One, I'd like to say that no, JT does not need me to come to his aid. I'm VOLUNTEERING to bc I like him. I don't need his permission to tell people to forgive him, that's stupid. It's totally alright to stand up for people, just bc he is an adult does not mean that I cannot stand up for someone.

Two, you are so right! Driving while drunk is a stupid thing to do, and like I said, I am very frustrated he did such a thing. Justin has done tons of things he regrets from his drinking problems, and I wish he would just stop. But addictions are hard to stop (I totally understand that bc I have been thru multiple myself) but I wish he would just try a bit harder.

But I am not brushing what he did "under the rug". I'm sure that I won't persuade you, and that's fine, but I was only saying that we shouldn't take advantage of this to hate him even more.

I am sick of people going "haha, he's a loser" as if just because he is a celebrity that gives him more reason not to sin. I am saying that him driving drunk is just as bad as anyone else driving drunk, and that being drunk in general is terrible but that also shouldn't be the reason we hate him.

Justin Timberlake would never hurt someone on purpose. We all know that. The fact that he could have hurt someone is terrifying, but it's reality and I realize that. The point is, he made a mistake, and mistake does not mean an "oopsie" in this case, it means a "he knew what he was doing and it was a terrible idea".

In my other post I did not phrase it very well, and I'm sorry about that. What I meant was, Justin did something wrong. I am a strong Christian, and I believe that every sin is just as bad as any other. The difference is, some can cause way worse consequences. Driving while drunk is way more dangerous than maybe lying to your parents. But my God tells me that one is not worse than the other.

Even for those not being a Christian, I think everyone should know that there should not be worse sins, and "okay" ones. Everyone deserves a chance. You should forgive everyone 70 times 7. Then do it all over again.

If a liar told a nasty lie about you and didn't apologize and kept going, but a murderer turned himself in and repented and stopped, would you still say the murderer is the worst person?

The fact that Justin won't try harder annoys me. But we should never put even more hate on him just because he's well-known. He is a human. He is just as bad at stuff as other people are.

Also, Justin Timberlake is a nice guy. The fact that he knew he was going to get released wasn't why he was nice, and being white and rich should have NOTHING to do with what the police say (I find it extremely weird for u to use that description). Justin has been known for being a sweet kind guy and he loves his fans, friends, and family. He has been seen in the middle of a concert stopping everything to make sure a fan who seemed in need of help was alright by ordering security over and asking if they're good. He does tons of stuff around his town just to help out. DudePerfect, one of the most popular trick shot YouTubers, are strong Christians and said that one of their favorite memories was playing golf with Justin Timberlake. There would be no reason for them to lie about that.

Justin should not have criticized Britney Spears about that. That is very confusing why he would, and maybe he was just trying to get her not to go the direction he did a few times, but idk, it is just really stupid. But again, humans in general are stupid. I bet u can name a bazillion times u criticized someone about doing something that you have done or ended up doing yourself.

NOT HIDING IT UNDER THE RUG OR SAYING IT'S RIGHT BECAUSE IT'S NOT, JUST SAYING THAT WE ALL DO THAT KIND OF STUFF

Gosh, I know I'm probably no getting my point across, here lemme try to say this in an easier way. Erm... Justin Timberlake is human. Humans sin. Okay. Sinning is not good at all. We all do it, however, intentionally, from lying to murdering. Big or small consequences can come from any of them. DWI is terrible. I hate when I hear about anyone doing that. You have a right to be angry, I am angry at Justin. But I hate how the already Justin haters are taking advantage of every thing he does and making him seem worse than he is. You can hate him, whatever, but you can't stand beside him everywhere he goes, paper and pen, and mark down his every sin, calling him "even worse than before" with every count. Being drunk is bad!!! Driving while drunk is bad!!! But we should feel sorry for him that he doesn't seem to be able to find an outlet in something else. And we shouldn't hold up his every action, dangerous or not, against him. If we all counted everyone's sins, we would all add up to the same amount of terrible that Justin Timberlake is. We are all dumb humans. We shouldn't hold up everything against each other. We don't know the whole story of anything. All we know is that he was driving drunk. He was probably stressed, trying to have a good time, other stuff. This doesn't make it right. But it should cause us to be more cautious about the situation. Most of the people who bully have things going on at home that is causing them to let out their anger on others. Not saying that's right, but we shouldn't call them "bad people" and basically say "he did this so we're more better than them." That may not be how you think of it, but it's what you're saying.

I really hope I am not making people feel guilty, that is the last thing I want. I just want people to understand my view. If I made anyone feel guilty or it seemed that way, I apologize, that's not how I meant it at all. I just didn't agree with stuff, and I wanted to say what I thought, just how you just sent me what you thought.

Hope I said this right. I may not have because I am bad at explaining things through type. I'm sorry if I offended anyone, I love you all and mean nothing rude. 💕💕❤❤💕💕❤❤💕💕

-Jessi

[phoenix-is-the-hottest-thing]

putting the google translate version of the Sa and Vita convo here bc the official translation is a bit confusing

Moriarty: Haha, hahahaha! Moriarty: What a great show! Moriarty: How does it feel to lose all your efforts? Got bitten by your own dog! Moriarty: Hey, you don't have a talent for comedy, do you? Sa: ... Moriarty: That last blow from the sky looked really painful! Didn't anyone ever tell you not to mess with the wrong people? Moriarty: Haha, I feel really good! I haven’t watched such an interesting show for a long time. Moriarty: It is countless times more exciting than the version I originally conceived! Sa: ... Moriarty: Oh? You're just going to roll up your tail and run away? Moriarty: Well, given the nature of your “parasitic plant”, Moriarty: if you curl up your roots and hide in the depths of the Sea of Quanta for a few tens of thousands of years, you'll be able to make a comeback sooner or later. Moriarty: Only a human being would let his own damn pride get in the way and miss a chance to make a comeback... Moriarty: ...Hmm? Vita: I'm sorry to interrupt your pleasant conversation. Vita: How do you do, our Creator God? Vita: Oh, I forgot. We just saw each other. Sa: ... Vita: What, are you surprised to see me here? Vita: That unconvincing fake death performance earlier shouldn't be able to deceive your all-knowing and omnipotent "eyes", right? Vita: Or is that eye, as I suspected, not protecting against the presence of the “Ark”? Sa: ... Sa: ...Authority. Moriarty: Oh! So you can talk. Vita: That's right. Like the fly buzzing around you, I used the disguise of an Ark administrator to get past your guards and find you. Moriarty: You're all fighting amongst yourselves, but still don't forget to slander me? What a touching mother-daughter bond. Vita: If you had been able to put away a little bit of your arrogance and pay the minimum attention to this fly, maybe I wouldn’t have been able to come here in person—— Vita: ...to receive all your authority.

Sa: ... Moriarty: Haha, that's an unexpected twist! I didn't realize there was a hidden secret at the end of the show! Moriarty: It’s worth my while that I took the big gamble to come here so that I can enjoy this masterpiece in the upper class seats. Vita: Sigh... You pushy guy, do you really know what you are talking about? Vita: Most of your data has been shattered by that pillar of light, and the remnants left here will soon disperse on their own. Paying so much just to see a show? Moriarty: Of course, Miss Agent. I've never been so calm, so satisfied. What better feeling is there than to witness the end of a revenge drama? Moriarty: I'd give anything for fun... even if it didn't do me any good. Vita: ...Your comment reminds me of someone. Vita: Coincidentally, when I was "hitchhiking" with Fu Hua, I happened to catch a glimpse of a memory related to him and the self-satisfying ending. Vita: He was a world leader, but he only gambled with everyone's life; and in the end, he exchanged his own demise for a wishful "self-revenge". ..... Vita: Do you think this is called "different paths leading to the same destination", backup of "Otto Apocalypse"? Moriarty: Sincere thanks to you, Miss Agent, for bringing me useless information. I'd say you and “Sa” are cut from the same cloth. Vita: I have surpassed her.. The fact that I am here is the best proof, isn't it? I'll never make the same mistake as She did, and I'll go after true freedom. Sa: Freedom… is this what you really want? Or is it just because… you ask for it but don’t get it? Sa: The so-called “freedom” and “nothingness” are synonymous words. Vita: What about you? You have swollen so much that you can hardly move, have you really gained any “reality”? Sa: …Purusha, is me. Moriarty: Hahaha, is that why you sank into the “sea” in the first place? Moriarty: You have all-knowing and all-powerful eyes, but you can't even see yourself clearly. Haha! Our great Creator God is actually a blind god! Sa: Gods are blind in sight... Sa: Mortals are blind in the heart. Vita: Oh, you are quite confident when you say that—— Vita: Why don't you use these against the enemy with the “Eighth Sense”? Vita: He's your arch-enemy, isn't he? Sa: Mortals aren’t enemies. Sa: Just a pebble in the road. Vita: ... Vita: Well, congratulations. After all, your feet, it seems, are bleeding on these pebbles? Sa: ...That has nothing to do with them. Vita: But it’s about me. Sa: … Sa: [Agent], you are not an ordinary person. You have exceeded the limits of [expansion]. Moriarty: Oh, How to say it, how to say it? It turns out you will also become a rotten machine like her in the future? Moriarty: That’s a really rotten future, hahahaha! Sa: …the only freedom of god is also the only nothingness of mortals. Sa: The world is my representation, and the world is my will. Sa: The so-called “Godhood”... God was born because of me, and I died because of God. Vita: I think this sentence should be said the other way around. Vita: [I live because of God, and God dies because of me.] Vita: Do you suddenly feel better? Moriarty: What a pity! My God did not die because of me! Moriarty: Oh, no, wait. My “God” is already you all? Moriarty: A good death, a wonderful death! It’s a pity I can’t stick a cross in you all! Sa: …getting carried away. Ignorance is indeed the greatest sin of mortals. Sa: No mortal has ever killed a god. Sa: Only [Gods] can.

Sa: [Agent]... Sa: One day, you will also find your own executioner. Moriarty: Oh, oh! It seems that compared to ordinary people like us, gods like you are better at bringing disaster to yourself? Moriarty: Okay, okay, that just means that a mediocre person is just a mediocre person after all! Moriarty: Look at me… take a good look at your [exhibit]... Moriarty: Is there anything more ironic to you two than me being able to sit on this special seat? Vita: There’s no need for a king to kill his own court jester, right? Vita: Anyone can feel like the other person is an idiot on the inside… Do you think that’s important? Sa: There are no [idiots] here. Sa: The three wills that exist here have lost their own value from the beginning. Sa: They try to compensate, they try to ignore. They will only continue to expand… until they become ugly remains. Vita: Thank you for your advice, [Sa]. But what I am and what I want will all be decided by myself. Vita: I will do better than you, of course. It’s a pity that you can never imagine it if you are trapped in the [Sea]. Sa: … Sa: That’s really worth looking forward to. Vita: Yes, worth looking forward to. Vita: Us gods looking forward to our deaths is also very romantic, isn't it?  Vita: ...That's the only emotion you have left. Moriarty: Oh? It seems that this is the end? Moriarty: I have to say that as my second ending, there is nothing more satisfying than this. Moriarty: Although you are my enemy, you are the initiator who interrupted my grand finale and brought great shame to me... Moriarty: I still pay you the highest respect, Miss "Vita". Moriarty: The way we exist is somewhat similar - it's like fate has played a nasty trick and we spend our lives trying to get out of this shadow. Moriarty: We are not the real body, but we have made achievements far beyond the real body. This is the proof of our existence in the world and our unique mark. Moriarty: If we hadn't met in this way, we would definitely have become very good friends... or destined rivals. Vita: …maybe. You are truly my most troublesome exhibit, "Moriarty." Moriarty: Ha! I would take that as the highest compliment. Vita: Indeed. So… Vita: Farewell, [nothingness]. Vita: I will accept those [Eyes of Bodhi]. [Who are you digging a grave for? Is it for a Phosphorus person?] [It's not for a Phosphorus person, miss.] [So, is it for the Purusha person?] [Not for a Purusha person either.] [Not a person of Phosphorus nor a person of Purusha - then who is buried here?] [Miss, she was originally a Purusha person, but she was already gone.] Vita: The so-called [Gods]... Vita: ...are truly [interesting].

[cuephrase]

I cannot keep two words straight in my head smh. I meant the first wip and the third wip. No abandonment meant (though I would not be opposed to hearing about that one too 😅)

asjdfhjsd no worries haha!!

first wip/jigsaw: so although i personally enjoy jason being an anti-hero/being on (sort of?) better terms with the batfam i really like am so frustrated bummed that we don't really get to see how jason got there. however, i also think his current dynamic with the fam is very interesting bc idk, to me, it feels very delicate/fragile and like there's not a whole lot of trust? idk how to summarize all the nuance without giving you an essay you did not ask for, but basically, his current relationship with them is Complicated, yeah?

and i don't have a lot of interest in writing a fix-it/exploring a 'what if things had gone differently' scenario/trying to fill in that missing gap bc...idk. i just don't lmao. BUT!! a reconciliation fic still sounds like so much fun, bc like i like the idea of jason being part of the batfam right but like i don't want to erase all the drama from canon so BASICALLY-

tl;dr: i think jason's current relationship with the batfam is like a bone that broke but wasn't set properly so it needs to be re-broken to heal properly. so i want to start in a place where he's "comfortable" with them, then have him blow everything up. just stomp on all the eggshells. it would very much so be a Things Get Worse Before They Get Better type of reconciliation fic haha. i want it be messy and painful and full of missteps and misunderstandings- it would not be an 'X apologizes and magically everything is better' fic. (which is not shade to anyone who writes/enjoys those!!) i may also challenge myself to stick strictly in jason's pov to really lean into the Unreliable Narrator of it all.

this probably sounds like such a mess, omg *buries face in hands*

pretty bird: this one is a super dick-centric, kinda character study type fic somewhat focused on his sexual trauma, so mirage/catalina/liu, but also just kind of like exploring dick's relationship with himself and like...how he perceives himself? bc he is such a Performer, yk, and he is incredible at it. and he has all these close, meaningful relationships, but sometimes he can still feel so isolated to me in a way bc of how much he keeps to himself and idk i just really want to like get into his head.

also can't really articulate this one without an essay you didn't ask for haha, but it will be a very fun tonal challenge for myself bc i have a very specific vibe i want to achieve that'll require a very careful balancing act.

and then just for funsies, and bc it's also about dick haha,

abandonment: au (inspired by dan mora's black and white oneshot from batman: the brave and the bold) where bruce puts dick into foster care instead of keeping him, but they cross paths later when batman runs into dick and jason who are looking for their missing brother. at least a smidge of identity porn bc dick is willing to trust batman but won't trust bruce wayne. like i have this scene in my mind where batman offers to set the boys up with his friend bruce wayne and dick is like 'absolutely not' and batman is like ?? and then he realizes omg this is the kid i gave up omg.

just imagine dick trying to independently (with jason) try to hunt tim down with batman being like !!!! trying to assist but also not wanting to overstep and also trying not to get too attached (and failing) hehehe. complicated dick and bruce is just so fun, yk?

tysm for the ask, lily, (and for tagging me in this game to begin with!!), i hope you're having/had a beautiful day!!

[nitazenes]

https://www.tumblr.com/nitazenes/757930450988711936

🧾🔢🐕🐣

🧾 - Collective pronouns?

Collectively we go by they/them : ) but all of us have different pronouns so it's best to ask that individual alter what their pronouns are, but as a collective we are they/them

🔢 - Does anyone have a favorite number?

our fav number... probably pi 3.14, we used to have more of it memorized but yeah ^^

🐕 - Does anyone have a pet?

Internally? Yes! David has a golden lab named Maxwell and German Shepard called Dogmeat. (Dogmeat is the dog companion in Fallout 4 but he's just a good pupper!) it's cute bc Maxy wears a lil bow tie on his collar and Dogmeat wears a red bandana. Jumin has a white, long haired cat of sorts. I think its a maine coone bc she's huge. Her name is Elizabeth

Rhapsody has a pair of mourning doves in his garden, he loves to listen to their cooing, its very relaxing and when we're overstimmed we will put on mourning dove calls on youtube to help us calm down!

🐣- Any childhood things that should've tipped you off to being a system?

So I didn't know this meant I was a system until I was in my 20s bc no one even remotely thought I had DID (or MPD back then) and I was misdiagnosed as having psychosis. but throughout my entire childhood, i had two "imaginary friends" i would talk to all the time. But i had an imaginary friend of my little brother who sadly passed away when I was pretty young. it was like my brain didnt accept his death or didnt know how, so there he was in my headspace and i'd talk to him out loud. My abusers often caught me talking aloud to myself. The other one i was aware of was Grimsley. Grim has been with me since childhood and originally started off as a narrator-- I realize this was them performing their gatekeeping duties as we were a kid. It was much easier to view my life through the lens of a book rather than it being real. This is how Grimsley imposed their reality onto us and kept us from accessing things we shouldnt. But eventually this narrator started talking to me. And id sit and journal for hours, writing stories with Grim, and I went back to read some of these one day a few years back-- i realized the "fantasies" i was writing was actually early descriptions of my headspace.

i think that's why Grim and I are so close. bc i knew them from the start and they were never dissociated until I entered my teenage years and then poof i forgot that they had even existed until i was in my late teens. which is when I was diagnosed as schizo effective it took until I was 20 to rediscover grimsley and the day i rediscovered them i just remember sitting on the ground like when I was a kid with a notebook and writing with them and i just wept. : (

All through my childhood I knew I was different but i didnt know how. i didnt know how to explain that i had conversations with other people in my head and that i was their mouthpiece. they would speak through me (which eventually uncovered my role as the Shell host)

the way I can flip flop on a dime is both due to BPD and DID so for the longest time i was only diagnosed and treated for BPD there were a lot more incidents than just me talking to myself but also like, one day as an 8 year old i took on a rattlesnake by myself bc it was going after our chickens, that def was uncharacteristic of me, bc i was kind of terrified of rattlers so. that was another thing anyway im yappin, thanks for the asks! sorry i took so long to get to them!!

[chaoticevilbean]

Another Star Wars AU, TBN*

*To-Be-Named

I love time travel. A lot. So here is a time-travel au, with the CW trio.

Somehow, perhaps by touching a Sith artifact, perhaps by the Force deciding they should, perhaps from some sort of weird ritual the locals were performing that the trio didn't know about, Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, Anakin, Rex, and Cody travel aback in time.

[Please keep in mind that Canon Timeline has died tragically in a fire, and I am but the weeping widow with an inheritance.]

Due to whatever happened, they all also end up (technically) deaging. They still have their memories and their knowledge and skills, just stuck in smaller bodies. They can think and act like adults, but they also have to struggle a bit more to implement Older Skills in Younger Bodies.

Ahsoka is 2. She's nubby. She's emotional. She's tired and sore from her deaging.

She wakes up in someone's office. She's in a spinny chair, a big one with leather padding. It's kind-of chilly in the room.

She's not thinking, because all her brain is putting together is that she's still tired. She grabs the jacket off the back of the chair and pulls it over herself. She goes back to sleep.

Rex and Cody wake up together.

They are their actual age, which is to say they're both about eleven.

They find themselves on Mandalore. In the more wild areas.

(let me believe that there are parts of the planet that aren't covered in city)

(also, this is the Mandalore in the cartoons)

They find a teen trying to wake them both up. Rex has absolutely no clue what's going on. Cody has a vague idea, because this girl looks very similar to a picture he once saw...

Obi-Wan does not fare as well. He is 3.

He wakes up in someone's arms. He's just as tired and sore as the other three. However, he's also got more awareness because he's in someone's arms.

He looks up to see who's carrying him.

He looks around at the people walking with them.

He starts crying. He cannot help this, as he is suddenly flooded with Emotions, and he is Smol. Smol = harder to handle Emotions.

Because Qui-Gon is walking right next to him, tapping away on a holopad as they go. Dooku is on his other side, on a comm call where both parties sound very tired.

And Obi-Wan is being held... by Obi-Wan.

So, yeah, not that great for a suddenly Smol Obi.

Now, Anakin is 8, so he's better off in that perspective.

But he wakes up on some remote planet without anyone around. He just was in the middle of a group, so he ends up kinda panicking.

Then he hears something coming towards him, and he panics more.

He's Tiny! He's Smol! He's massively at a disadvantage against attacks! He can't fight off whatever is on a planet like this!

It's Mace (and Depa).

Anakin, however, doesn't realize this. He has gone Feral.

Back to the beginning

Jango Fett has been very busy w/Important Mand'alor Paperwork all day. He finally has time to go and relax a little, and he makes it all the way down to the exit before he realizes:

It is really cold outside. He is not in armor bc he was planning to only do paperwork today (though he still has many weapons). When one plans to stay in the same room for almost the entire day, one does not wear normal garb.

That said, he has no protection from the cold. He forgot his jacket upstairs. He rushes back up to his office.

He distinctly remembers that he left the jacket on the back of his chair, not on the seat.

He also is wondering what that lump is.

He arms himself, grabs some of his "emergency" armor plating, and walks over to the chair.

He lifts his jacket up, expecting a bomb or some paperwork that fell off the desk, or something logical.

He does not expect to find a tiny Togruta child clinging onto the fabric, whining as they're woken up by his yanking of the jacket.

Jango's brain stutters for a moment, then he kicks into action.

First things first, he wraps the jacket around the Togruta. They thankfully stay asleep. Then he turns up the heat, because he knows the office has gotten colder in the twenty minutes or so he's been gone, and Togruta are from warm temperate zones.

He decides to call, in this order, a guard who can help him watch the Togruta (they did break in, after all), a medic to check the Togruta’s health, and the first person he can find in his contacts that might know an adult Togruta.

Next group

Rex and Cody manage to get the teen to stop fussing over them for long enough to ask for her name.

Her, clearly lying, but that’s understandable: My name is Ine.

Cody, who knows exactly who this is now: Oh, kriff. You’re Duchess Satine, aren’t you? Kriff.

Rex: Wait, Satine? As in the General’s Satine?

Satine, now very suspicious and reaching for her stunner: I think you need proper medical attention.

Cody, looking down at their eleven-year-old selves: Yeah, I think so, too.

They agree on one thing, at least.

Next

Obi-Wan is crying. Loudly, uncontrollably, w/too many Emotions to even care that he’s supposed to be an adult rn.

Other Obi-Wan is very uncomfortable, bc he doesn’t know how to handle children too well.

They found this kid unconscious in the middle of a ruined, abandoned town.

Obi-Wan was meant to hold this kid while Qui-Gon did research and Master Dooku tried to convince the Council that it was entirely necessary to bring the kid back to Coruscant. Granted, they can still give the child to the locals at any time before they make it back to their ship, but apparently the Force is Being Loud.

The Force was Being Loud when it told Master Dooku to come along.

The Force was Being Loud when it led them to that town.

Qui-Gon and Dooku have argued fifteen and a half times on this mission, and an additional six times on the flight here. Obi-Wan is trying to mediate but also doesn’t want to overstep. The Force is Being Loud, sure, but the kid is also Force-sensitive so it might be something off that.

He didn’t argue with holding the kid bc he thought that it was better than being caught between the Masters.

Holding a crying child and trying to get two adults to stop arguing bc they can’t decide how to comfort the kid is not better.

Obi-Wan keeps walking past them to the ship with this baby. He does what he’s seen some crechemasters do to the younglings. The kid eventually calms a little, and he belatedly realizes that both Masters are still behind him, not with him.

NEXT

Anakin is panakin.

He is currently in a state of Feralness. His instincts have kicked into overdrive, full-on Survival Mode.

Depa and Mace do not know this. All they know is that there was suddenly an extremely powerful Force presence that started fading quickly (bc Anakin started shielding).

They burst into sight of Anakin and are suddenly attacked by all four feet and some of Feral Force Child.

It’s all they can do for a good minute or so to avoid losing their fingers, eyes, or untorn clothes.

Mace puts a few things together very quickly.

This planet is uninhabited by any sapient life. Therefore, this child is utterly alone. This child also is clearly strong in the Force, and knows how to hide their presence, for whatever reasons. Mace is a Jedi, and therefore is bound by certain duties.

He decides it is his Duty to get this kid back to Coruscant safely.

Back to the beginning

Ahsoka wakes up to find a familiar face looking down at her. She’s still tired, but not as much. She’s very aware of her size, and does a few quick observations.

She does not fully know who Jango Fett is. She does know that some clones run off bc they hate war and weren’t given a choice an- no. Not going down that path yet.

Ahsoka assumes, semi-incorrectly, that she was shrunk or deaged and somehow found by a rogue clone.

She knows it’s a rogue clone bc they’ve got weird armor.

So she does the logical thing and tries to comfort this clone bc he looks really worried and kinda panicked. She stands up on the spinny chair and tries to balance and he practically lunges to help her and she can’t help but giggle, but it comes out in a bunch of chirps instead.

The clone picks her up and looks really awkward so she pats his face bc that’s the best she can do bc she doesn’t want to disprove the fact she’s two yet.

For all she knows, this rogue clone has no idea she’s actually a Commander in the GAR.

He doesn’t, but for different reasons than she thinks.

NEXT

Rex and Cody go with Satine to the city. They have introduced themselves and said that they were separated from their aliit. They don't know where said aliit is.

Satine is highly suspicious by this point, bc these two kids recognized her with only part of her name, and they were alone, and they speak Basic with Mando'a thrown in.

Basically, she thinks that they're children of people like Death Watch, but she's too young to know that Death Watch isn't really into children.

Rex and Cody get checked over by a medic, but also start trying to get access to some working comms. They are refused on account of being suspicious children (which makes them a little upset bc they're not children)(Well, they are, but not those types of children)

They have not yet figured out that they are in the past, bc Cody and Rex only know that General Kenobi talks about Duchess Satine, and they know about Padme Amidala from General Skywalker, so clearly this Duchess is really young and the General simply viewed her as someone he wants to protect.

They are very very very wrong.

NEXT

Obi-Wan manages to calm himself somewhat now that it's just him and... him.

He is three, and he knows roughly what's happening, so he knows he should probably act like a 3yo.

Unfortunately, he has very little understanding of how child ages work. 3 is smart enough to go up the stairs and communicate with adults, but def. not old enough to speak sentences that are 15 words long with at least 2 5-syllable words.

Fortunately, his older (younger?) self doesn't know children either.

So when this 3yo starts telling him that he needs to leave the two Masters on the planet and head to Tatooine really fast, Obi-Wan is more concerned about the idea than the strangeness of "this is a 3yo suggesting this".

Obi-Wan is really good at convincing people. Including himself. He manages to get Padawan Kenobi to leave supplies where the ship is supposed to be and head towards Tatooine.

He says that the Masters will be fine, they know how to survive, and they need to be alone together in order to work through all the tension. Plus, it gives them plenty of time to talk to the Council.

Toddler Kenobi also tells himself that he'll take the blow and say he used a mind-trick.

Padawan Kenobi doesn't believe him yet, but Toddler Kenobi smiles like a very smug adult and says "you'll get there eventually". What he truly means is up in the air.

NEXT

Anakin, since waking up, knows much less than everyone else. Which is saying something.

He knows he's Smol. He knows he's Alone. He knows Someone has come and they are Strangers.

One thing about Anakin's instincts is that they are very much Survival Based. He was Feral when he joined the Jedi, only he had to hold those instincts back for most of his life bc of being a slave.

A slave cannot bite someone who approaches and Vibes Wrong.

By the time he felt okay with being Feral Out Loud, he also felt safe enough that he didn't need to activate his Survival Mode.

What I'm trying to say is that Anakin does not realize how strong his Feral Instincts are. He has absolutely no control over them rn.

When Mace decides to Help this child, this child is trying to Maul them.

Mace makes a small ruckus to draw Anakin's attention to him so Depa can move back. Depa pulls out her saber now that she won't hit the kid. The kid notices Purple and Bright and Lightsaber.

Lorge Jedi Mind says this is Good. Safe. Jedi.

Smol Feral Brain says this is Dangerous. Mean.

Anakin freezes on sight and just starts tracking Depa's saber. She does one of those things where a snake or something is focused and the person waves the fire or the food slowly to make sure the wolf is watching it and usually they toss the thing away so the snake follows it.

Mace instead takes this opportunity to wrap Anakin in his cloak. And Depa's cloak. And the spare ones in their bags.

Feral Child is not happy with this. Feral Child is also unable to scratch or Maul or do things other than bite and snarl.

Depa carries Feral Child while Mace comms the Temple and they walk back to their ship.

The Temple is having a field day.

First, one of their Shadows reports that a well-known bounty hunter got an emergency message from a pal of theirs that said Jango Fett needs help learning Togruta childcare.

Then they get a call from Dooku, which is not the mission report they wanted.

Yoda: Mission report, you have?

Dooku: Of a sort. We successfully spoke with the locals, then went to investigate a rather large disturbance.

Mundi: A disturbance?

Dooku: We found the source to be a Force-sensitive child.

Mundi: So you are here to ask for more time on the planet?

Dooku:...

Yoda: Bring the child back, you wish to?

Dooku, unapologetic: He is of an acceptable age to be admitted into the Temple, and no other beings were around at the time to entertain the idea of there being guardians.

The Council is sighing and muttering bc this is a Disaster Lineage (and they haven't even met the other two yet). Their call is interrupted by the sound of crying and Dooku saying the child's woken up.

Then there's another Shadow who sends a message saying a set of twins that seem like Death Watch were found by the heir of Clan Kryze.

Finally, to top everything off, they get a call from Mace Windu and Depa Billaba. Two very dignified, not-at-all chaotic Jedi from a perfectly respectable lineage.

Yeah, most of the Council and the Order itself forgets that Yoda had a hand in raising Windu. Yoda "Feral Grandpa" who throws children at every problem. Grandson isn't doing too well? Throw a child his way. Other grandchild is struggling to cope with grief? Throw another child their way. Oh, there's a war going on and newest grandchild is angry a lot? Here's a child!

The entire lineage has a soft spot for children.

Anyways...

Mace: Our mission was a success. We found the artifact and both specimens.

Koth: How long until your return?

Mace:...

Yoda: Found a child, you did?

Gallia: Master Yoda, that's a rather illogical guess. Once is unusual, twice is-

Mace: Oh, did Qui-Gon find a child as well?

Yoda, smugly: Bringing the child back, are you?

Depa, from the background, after a rather loud snarl is heard: We do not bite things, young one.

*more snarling*

Mace: We have no reason to believe he was not alone.

Tiin: *deep sighing*

Mundi: *mild confusion noises*

Koon, eagerly: Please send photos of this youngling. For the archives, of course.

Mace, nodding sagely: Of course.

*extremely loud yowl* *sounds of Mace turning*

Mace: DEPA!

Depa: He nearly bit off my finger!

Mace: That doesn’t mean you pinch him!

Depa: What else am I supposed to do?!

*sudden exclamation filled solely of Mando’a, Huttese and Twi’leki curses*

Mace: So, I don’t know if he speaks Basic, but Master Che should be able to talk him through a check-up.

Yeah, several Council members are experiencing headaches now. Normally, they would have some empathy for Mace and his own stress-induced migraines. They currently do not.

Right after that call, Dooku calls back to say that Obi-Wan has left without them.

Mundi: He left the child with you, right?

Dooku:

Mundi: He left the child with you, right?

Obi-Wan did not leave himself with the Masters. Obi-Wan has listened to Mini-Obi and is off on some wild space adventure to a criminal-run planet.

The toddler won’t stop staring at him. He asks for a name. The kid says to call him Ben.

OW: Is that your name?

“Ben”: It is a name I am called :)

OW: That isn’t what I meant.

“Ben”: I know :)

Ben also keeps staring at OW’s lightsaber. OW decides to make sure the kid doesn’t start playing with it when he isn’t looking.

MEANWHILE

Ahsoka has figured out that she was really very oh-so wrong. She’s on Mandalore. As in, the Mandalore that is under Jango Fett. Bc she’s with Jango Fett. He’s holding her hand bc she was nervous about the strange looking medic (who was just wearing armor, but not clone armor and civies don’t wear armor.)

Ahsoka knows very little about Jango Fett. Clone Buir, Mandalorian leader, tried to kill Master Kenobi. Also dead.

He asks how she got in. She shrugs. She is too small to fight back so she can’t let him know anything. Whatever everything is right now. But also, he doesn’t seem mean or evil or anything.

Oh yeah. Skyguy said that Mandos love children. That's why the clones were so protective of her, even with Skyguy on her side of the argument.

She decides to use this to her advantage. She can probably get herself a comm, and enough time to call the Temple. If she can convince them she at least knows a Jedi, then they can come get her and she'll work from there.

ELSEWHERE

Rex and Cody are getting really upset. This Duchess is really nice, but she's acting really weird and keeps insisting she's not actually called Duchess. No one will give them a comm, they keep getting weird looks for speaking Mando'a even though they're on Mandalore, and Satine's father keeps mentioning a Fett. Maybe Boba's set a bad example again.

Rex starts to fall asleep, to his chagrin. He's too bored, sitting and getting some abnormally extensive check-up. Cody is fine, but he's used to the calm that is General Kenobi. Rex usually has a Togruta teen in the vents and a Human that is never where he's supposed to be.

Rex does, in fact, fall asleep. His "twin" starts glaring when a doctor goes to wake him up. Cody makes it clear that his brother is like Cat: once asleep, you do not wake.

Satine is giggling, but trying not to let the others hear. Cody does. Cody looks at her. They have a stare-off.

Cody goes back to glaring at the doctors. He will not admit to any emotions besides Protect™.

BACK TO

Obi-Wan and Ben have made it to Tatooine.

[calzonekestis]

I feel like we should also add to that post that like… Grace did more in ten minutes to show her character work and her understanding of her role than some actors do in episodes or seasons?

She seems so sweet. It’s so unfair.

You're right tbh and you should say it. I'll sing the praises of @quirly all day and twice on Sunday.

It really was a one episode part with just a handful of scenes, but you could tell Grace really gave it her all regardless of that fact. There's a reason why people love Chrissy and make art and edits of her in spite of her short screen time - and that's all down to Grace's performance and doing everything she could to make the character endearing and having us empathize/sympathize with her struggles. It wasn't just a "guest star of the week", she left an impact on the audience and on the character of Eddie... that we all felt the loss and missed her when she was gone.

In some respects it's a thankless task, but so much rested on her shoulders. If she hadn't put the care and consideration that she did into her performance, it all could have fallen apart. "Ok, this character has secret trauma... and now she's dead. Sad, sure, but I don't feel anything bc we didn't really get a chance to know her."

It all could have fallen flat and felt hollow, but it didn't... and that's all Grace, and her bringing to life what was on the page and then elevating it. You feel the loss of Chrissy, you empathize with how Eddie - and even Jason to a degree - feel. The "Chrissy, this is for you" moment is such a payoff because of it. Like Joe said, yes, Eddie had a crush on her... but that moment wasn't about her in relation to anyone else or how they felt about her. It was a tribute to her her own individual character.

A character Grace was able to bring to life and make us all love in such a short amount of time. If she hasn't done that, that moment wouldn't have been as powerful or satisfying as it was. For me, personally.

It wasn't about Eddie. Yes, he had a cool badass moment jamming out on the guitar - but. That wasn't about Eddie. Like yes it served a tactical purpose to lure the demobats away, I realize that - but it wasn't about Eddie having a cool moment. It wasn't about that to me, and it wasn't about that to his character.

Honoring her life, and avenging her death. That was for Chrissy.

[thatgirlonstage]

The (Alleged) Death of Lucius Spriggs

This was originally a twitter thread but I liked what I articulated in this meta enough that I wanted to copy it over here as well. Context: I finished binging the show and promptly had a lot of thoughts about what the scene where Blackbeard tips Lucius overboard is doing thematically and narratively. Enjoy!

———

So.

The bathtub scene, right.

A few things to establish up front:

One, I did not fully appreciate the impact of Lucius going overboard in the moment bc I didn’t realize the season ended on a bad time cliffhanger and I absolutely assumed he was gonna turn up alive again before the end. It shifts my thoughts a lot that he did not.

Two, I’m still pretty sure he’ll turn up alive if/when we get s2 — whether he got back onboard and is living in the walls, or Calico Jack floated by in a rowboat and pulled him out of the water, or what. But as far as Blackbeard knows right now, he’s dead. That was the intention. And because of the way the season ended, bc they didn't tease his survival as certainty, we the audience are left to at least speculate what it means if he’s really dead.

Three, One Can Argue that if “technically the fire killed them” is Ed’s excuse for how he didn’t ACTUALLY KILL the people on the boat in that story, then he could look at Lucius’s death as “technically the water killed him." And I think it does matter, actually, that Ed tipped him overboard instead of putting a knife in his ribs! Or without putting a knife in his ribs first and then tipping him over to get rid of the body. Put a pin in that, I’ll get back to it. But even in the land of playing with technicalities to survive the crushing weight of your own guilt, there’s something different between setting a fire and leaving people to their fate, and physically hurling a grown man into the ocean. They’re gonna feel different.

So the bathtub scene, right.

I kind of eyebrow raise at Ed’s assertion that he’s never killed ANYONE else — much like Bat “I don’t kill” man tossing men off a wall, there are things this guy does that are going to be deadly even if he doesn’t mean them to be. I mean you’re living on pirate ships in the 18th century my guy, how many of those severed toes turned septic.

But let’s take him at his word that he’s never intentionally and personally delivered a proximately fatal injury since he murdered his father, bc I don’t think he’s supposed to be lying in that scene at all.

(If anything, the fact that he’s desperate to separate himself from a lot more deaths that he would most certainly bear legal and ethical responsibility for, just says a great deal about how badly he’s been coping with death and violence ever since he first set foot on a pirate ship.)

Ed, then, by tipping Lucius overboard, is doing something that the popular vision of Blackbeard attributes to him without question, but that Ed himself has only ever done once in his life before: deliberately murdering a man with his own two hands. No crew. No Izzy. Just him.

I don’t think it’s a stretch to speculate that this was a test Ed set for himself: if he couldn’t throw Lucius overboard, then he couldn’t be the kraken. He couldn’t be Blackbeard. If he hesitated, if he failed, then everything goes differently. He is in effect sinking himself deeper into the identity of Blackbeard than before: if Blackbeard was originally a mask of performance and fuckery that he put on for his reputation, now he is trying to behave like Blackbeard would, crossing lines he’s kept between "Blackbeard" and "Ed" for years. Even with no one around to witness.

To return to the pin: is there still plausible deniability (to himself) in leaving Lucius to drown? Yeah, some. Imo, it’s a marker of the fact that he knows his limits: he probably wouldn't have managed a knife into Lucius’s heart. He would have hesitated, and he didn't want to hesitate. So he picked the middle ground: something certain to be fatal, and enacted by his own two hands, but still with a sliver of distance from stabbing or strangling or shooting. It’ll be interesting (IF WE GET ANOTHER SEASON) to see what he does as this continues, bc I could see him gearing up into more and more violence and direct murder. Equivalently, though, you could definitely write him continuing to break down in such a way that he never does it again.

Either way, though: let’s talk about WHY LUCIUS

(the thing I really wanted to get to with this long ramble lol)

There are a few obvious answers from a diegetic character perspective:

Lucius, of everyone on the crew, is most similar to Stede: he’s literate, intelligent, clearly has some cultural education. He has soft hands; he does not do physical labor, he doesn’t fight: he scribes.

Lucius is the one who saw their relationship happening most clearly, arguably before either Stede or Ed saw it themselves. He encouraged and bullied Ed into making himself vulnerable and available to Stede, he told Ed off for leaving, HE TOLD ED STEDE CARED FOR HIM

He’s the most emotionally perceptive and insightful member of the crew, which arguably makes him the most dangerous as Ed executes his coup into Blackbeard. It was important to eliminate him before he could realize something was up and warn the others.

He doesn’t fight, at least not much and not well, which also makes him an easy mark. He trusts Ed, his guard will be down, and he doesn’t have the reflexes for an unexpected attack. If Ed is testing himself, he can be sure it will be done quick, rather than turn into a scuffle and ruin everything.

So from both a practical perspective and a “FUCK you for your shitty relationship advice and for reminding me of his existence” standpoint, there's a lot of reasons Blackbeard wants Lucius gone first.

But this show has fuckin layers and it’s doing things on a thematic level here too. And it 1000% goes back to the “we don’t own each other here” episode that I yelled about in the original thread.*

Because Lucius embodies “we don’t own each other here”. He’s both the mouthpiece and the demonstration of that philosophy. He is openly, swaggeringly confident, joyous, unafraid of himself, his own desires, his strengths, and unashamed of his weaknesses. Telling Izzy he can’t scrape the barnacles is funny, and silly (and there’s a definite sympathetic-to-Izzy angle here of “oh my god I know it’s not fun but you do in fact need to take care of the boat which you live on") but it’s also a demonstration of the fact that Lucius gets, in general, to be treated with respect for his own strengths, without demands that he participate in work that risks jeopardizing those strengths (hurting his hands), even when his strengths don’t line up with a stereotypical pirate.

In other words: Lucius is all the good things about Stede’s crew fully realized.

He’s the thing Stede and Ed could become, if they are given a chance. Not his exact personality, but his confidence and ease at being fully himself, in a way that brings him joy. No one owns Lucius Spriggs. No one dictates how he lives his life. It’s exactly the opposite of Izzy, who wants nothing more than he wants to be owned, to be made in someone else’s image, who clings to the image that other people have of him and of Blackbeard like it’s his only lifeboat. Which is why of course Izzy is the villain and why Izzy and Lucius are foiled so much. (And god bless the writers for making queerness and sexuality an inseparable part of this, that for all these characters the ability to be oneself is deeply tied to love and sex and freedom of choice about those things.)

So to circle all the way back around: Ed doesn’t just throw Lucius overboard for giving him an undeserved shovel talk, he throws Lucius overboard because he is both literally and figuratively throwing away the future Stede’s crew represents. He has to get rid of Lucius, because Lucius is the vision of all the things Ed is deciding that he cannot be.

So it’s a test, for himself: can he be the kraken, can he do it again, can he kill.

And yes, physically Lucius is an easy mark, and a practical one, and also Ed is pissed at him. But it’s another kind of test too: not just can he kill, but can he kill that future specifically. It’s a decision Ed makes, in that moment, not just to be the kraken, not just to kill, but to remove Lucius and thereby remove everything he represents.

Ok thank you for coming to my very rambly TEDTalk, I have so many thoughts and this series is so good and smartly written I could seriously talk about it for days.

———

*I realized after posting that most of this was actually not in my original liveblog but rather on the side account bc that's where I put the majority of my Izzy Hands thoughts for everyone's safety, but this is what I said about that scene:

Hello hi yes I’m losing my mind over Lucius, the tagalong scribe guy for the first few episodes, suddenly being The One In Control when it’s Izzy left to handle the boat by himself and how explicitly it’s about sexuality and seduction and Izzy’s repression. The power dynamics going on here are fascinating.

I am thinking so hard about "we don't know each other here". Just, the number of things built into that

that Izzy tries emotionally manipulative blackmail on Lucius in the first place, rather than just idk threatening to whip him or something

that he *expects the blackmail to work*, bc he ASSUMES Lucius is doing this behind Pete’s back

that Lucius on Stede’s crew is not even slightly ashamed or discomfited or hiding anything about who’s getting naked with and around him

that Lucius doesn’t just identify the threat but *lasers in on* the place and assumptions Izzy is making it from

that the comeback is not “everyone knows, who cares” but instead “you don’t understand ANYBODY ON THIS BOAT”, and also “you don’t get to have that kind of power over me or anyone, not here”

that it’s ALSO “no one will own you either” which is its own kind of threat to izzy

He doesn’t get to be owned which means he is crushingly, excruciatingly alone bc no one WANTS him people only USE him

And Izzy has made himself scary enough and powerful enough that the only person who GETS to use him is Blackbeard, but oh my terrible grimy pirate man, what in your past made you Like This bc it must be something