#bc charles copes with humor

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I like to think edwin has a specific tone of voice he uses after certain cases that roughly means "please take this seriously. I was worried we'd never see each other again, and I know we're both shaken" and it stops charles from cracking jokes as a coping mechanism until they've both recovered a little more

[newty]

A collection of over 40 writers and their work from World War 1 and the years that followed.

11/11. Happy Armistice Day!

This is by no means a guide so much as it is recommendations and selections from my reading list, but I hope it can interest others in some extraordinary or important lives. Enjoy!

POETRY

Richard Aldington (1892-1962)

British. 2nd Lieutenant, Royal Sussex Regiment.

Themes: Callousness, Apathy, Sound, Myth & History, Art

War and Love 1915-1918 (1919)

"Trench Idyll"

"In The Trenches"

"Apathy"

"Soliloquy I" & "Soliloquy II"

Exile and Other Poems (1923)

“Eumenides”

“At a Gate by the Way”

Edmund Blunden (1896-1974)

British. 2nd Lieutenant, Royal Sussex Regiment.

Field: Ypres, Somme, Passchendaele

Themes: Survivor's Guilt, Isolation, Nature, Post-War Reflection

The Waggoner (1920)

"The Estrangement"

The Shepherd and Other Poems of Peace and War (1922)

"11th R.S.R."

"Reunion in War"

"The Troubled Spirit"

"War Autobiography: Written in Illness"

"Third Ypres: A Reminiscence"  

Rupert Brooke (1887-1915)

British. Sub-lieutenant, British Mediterranean Expeditionary Force, but died of sepsis before reaching Gallipoli.

Themes: Colonialism, Memory & Death

1914 and Other Poems (1915)

"1914"

Robert Graves (1895-1985)

British. Captain, Royal Welch Fusiliers.

Field: Somme, but also in a POW and Garrison camp iirc.

Themes: Camaraderie, Grief, Flippancy/Humor, Personal Change

Faeries and Fusiliers (1919)

The Pier-Glass (1921)

"Lost Love"

Collected Poems 1955 (1955)

"Recalling war"

Frederic Manning (1882-1935)

Australian & British. Private, King's Shropshire Light Infantry. Lance Corporal, 7th Battalion. 2nd Lieutenant, Royal Irish Regiment.

Field: The Somme, Ancre

Themes: Collective identity, Numbness, Individuality, Ritual as a coping method, Myth

Eidola (1917)

"αυτάρκεια"

Wilfred Owen (1893-1918)

British. 2nd Lieutenant, Manchester Regiment.Also see: The Hydra (1917-1918), the Craiglockhart War Hospital magazine.

Field: Northern France

Themes: Inhumanity, Protest, Disgust & Pity

Poems (1921)

“Apologia Pro Poemate Meo”

“Mental Cases”

“Dulce et Decorum Est”

"S.I.W" (Self-Inflicted Wound)

“Wild With All Regrets”

Poems of Wilfred Owen (1931)

“The Unreturning”

The Complete Poems and Fragments (1984)

Isaac Rosenberg (1890-1918)

British (also Jewish!). Private, 12th Bantam Battalion of the Suffolk Regiment, then South Lancashire Regiment, then King's Own Royal Lancaster Regiment, then King's Own Royal Regiment.

Also see: Joseph Cohen Collection of Rosenberg documents and artifacts 

Field: Arras

Themes: Heroism, Loathing, Confusion

Poems (1922)

"Significance"

"The Immortals"

Delphi Complete Poetry, Plays, Letters and Prose of Isaac Rosenberg (2015)

Not free, but like the one for Wilfred Owen, I recommend these collections since they're super cheap (like $3) and mostly comprehensive even if there are some formatting errors.

Siegfried Sassoon (1886-1967)

British. 2nd Lieutenant, Royal Welch Fusiliers.

Also see: A Soldier's Declaration.

Field: The Somme, Arras

Themes: Activism, Self-Expression, Nature, Leadership, Camaraderie, Grief

The Old Huntsman and Other Poems (1918)

“The Kiss”

“The Last Meeting”

Counter-Attack and Other Poems (1918)

"Suicide in the Trenches" (sometimes typo'd, like in Collected Poems, as "Suicide in Trenches")

"Repression of War Experience"

"The Dream"

A Suppressed Poem (1918)  (alternative/full text)

War Poems (1919)

"Everyone Sang"  

Picture-Show (1920)

"Concert Party"

"Phantom" (removed from Collected Poems in 1961)  

"Aftermath"

Vigils (1936)

"War Experience"

"Revisitation"

The Collected Poems 1908-1956 (1961)

Contains text edits and revisions of previous work.

MEMOIR

Will R. Bird (1891-1984)

Canadian. 42nd Battalion, Royal Highlanders of Canada.

Field: France and Belgium

Also see: his bibliography. His work seems to have been popular, but is now exceedingly rare other than in some recent reprints.

And We Go On (1930)

Reissued as Ghosts Have Warm Hands (1968) which removes several anecdotes--and in particular, removes many instances of the ghost of his brother (who often appears to guide him after dying before Bird enlisted).

Thirteen Years After: The Story of the Old Front Revisited (1931)

Funded by Maclean's Magazine, Bird returned to France and wrote a series of reflections.

The Communication Trench: Anecdotes & Statistics from the Great War, 1914-1918 (1933)

A Soldier's Place: the War stories of Will R. Bird (2018)

Fifteen anecdotes from various war-time and post-war publications.

Edmund Blunden (1896-1974)

Undertone of War (1928)

Philip Gibbs (1877-1962)

British. Extraordinarily popular war journalist and later war correspondent.

Heavily censored in publications like the Daily Telegraph and Daily Chronicle.

Field: Western Front

The Soul of the War (1915)

From Bapaume to Passchendaele, 1917 (1918)

Reissued as The Struggle in Flanders on the Western Front, 1917 (1919)

The Way to Victory: Vol 1: The Menace and Vol 2: The Repulse (1919)

Wounded Souls (1920)

Now It Can Be Told (1920)

US title: The Realities of War

More That Must Be Told (1921)

Robert Graves (1895-1985)

Goodbye to All That (1929)

Censored (1929), Revised (1957), and I think Uncensored (2014)

Also a personal memoir--the first few chapters detail his childhood and discuss homosexuality.

Arnold Gyde (1894-1959)

British. Captain, 2nd Battalion South Staffordshire Regiment.

Field: Le Havre, Mons, Aisne

Contemptable (1916) as Casualty

Part of the Soldiers’ Tales of the Great War series

T. E. Lawrence (1888-1935)

British. Archeologist but mostly a military informant.

Field: Arab Revolt, Palestine 

Themes: Isolation, Brotherhood

Seven Pillars of Wisdom (1922)

Abridged "subscribers" edition subtitled with A Triumph (1926), Further abridged as Revolt in the Desert (1927), Unabridged as "The Oxford Text" (1997)

Also see: With Lawrence in Arabia (1924) by Lowell Thomas 

Thomas was a war correspondent for the US, and who filmed and photographed Palestine and Lawrence and created the media boom surrounding the two.

Also see: Lawrence and the Arabs (1927) by Robert Graves 

This book was initially panned for showing Lawrence as more of a flawed person than England's glorious war hero.

Edward C. Lukens

American. Lieutenant, 320th Infantry 80th Division.

Field: Meuse-Argonne

A Blue Ridge Memoir (1922) 

Includes an afterword titled “The Last Drive and Death of Major G. H. H. Emory” by E. McClure Rouzer

Wilfred Owen (1893-1918)

Journey from Obscurity: Wilfred Owen, 1893-1918 (1963-1965) by Harold Owen

Published in three volumes: Childhood, Youth, and War

E. M. Roberts

American. Lieutenant, RAF.

A Flying Fighter: An American Above the Lines in France (1918)

I’m not finding much on this book atm, but I remember finding some articles after I had read the book that mentioned much of it was embellished.

Siegfried Sassoon (1886-1967)

Siegfried's Journey, 1916-1920 (1945)

Discusses the range of his life on leave or otherwise away from the battlefield, along with his post-war travels and struggles. For his more military memoirs, see the Sherston Trilogy below.

Also see: Lady Ottoline's Album (1976)

included entirely bc there's a cute pics of him (pg 66-67,90-93) but also bc there's a lot of cool ppl in it (also Robert Graves 68, Edmund Blunden 69)

Diaries:

Scans of 1915-1922, 1924-1927, 1931-1932: Sassoon Journals @ Cambridge

Siegfried Sassoon Diaries 1915-1918 (1983)

Highlights: 27 May 1916. 13 July 1916. 23 April 1917. 17 April 1918.  27 April 1918. 9 May 1918. 19 December 1917.

Siegfried Sassoon Diaries 1920-1922 (1981)

Siegfried Sassoon Diaries 1923-1925 (1985)

FICTIONAL MEMOIR

Giving a third person narrator one's trauma or life allows the writer to view those events in a new light–and also partially absolve themselves from ownership of their actions and feelings. Thus, it was super popular to deflect the shame of trauma.

Richard Aldington (1892-1962)

Death of a Hero (1929)

Uncensored in two volumes (1930), in one volume (1965) and (1984)

Roads to Glory (1930)

Short stories

Hervey Allen (1889-1949)

American. Lieutenant, 111th Infantry Regiment of the 28th Division

Field: Marne, Aisne, Château-Theirrey

Toward the Flame (1926) (limited preview)

Henri Barbusse (1873-1935)

French. Western Front. Anti-war.

Under Fire: The Story of a Squad (1916)

One of the first WWI novels published. Formative work for Sassoon, but also popular with Owen iirc.

Larry Barretto (1890-1972)

American. Ambulance driver in France and Belgium.

A Conqueror Passes (1925)

The soldier protagonist swiftly falls into depression upon returning to civilian life, so he abandons everything to return to France. Where he hopes to return to the mental occupation of service, he finds instead that the world has moved on without him.

James Norman Hall (1887-1951)

American. Posing as a Canadian: Royal Fusiliers. After being discovered, Lafayette Escadrille and Lafayette Flying Corps, then Captain of US Army Air Service. German POW for several months.

Kitchener's Mob: The Adventures of an American in the British Army(1916)

Describes the Battle of Loos during his time as a machine gunner with the Royal Fusiliers.

High Adventure: A Narrative of Air Fighting in France (1918)

Also see: The Lafayette Flying Corps Vol 1 and Vol 2 (1920), a history written with fellow pilot Charles Bernard Nordhoff.

Also see: Falcons of France (1929), another memoir written with Charles Bernard Nordhoff.

John Dos Passos (1896-1970)

American. Ambulance Driver in France (Norton-Harjes Ambulance Corps) & Italy (American Red Cross)

One Man’s Initiation: 1917 (1920)

Reissued as First Encounter (1945)

Three Soldiers (1921)

Frederic Manning (1882-1935)

The Middle Parts of Fortune: Somme and Ancre, 1916 (1929) as Private 19022

Uncensored in two volumes

Censored edition is Her Privates We (1929), and Uncensored (2014)

Primarily depicts the mundane life of a private. A deserter crops up throughout the novel for commentary on the intersection of mental illness and perceived cowardice. The chapters on the trenches are extraordinary imo, and it's a great look at the unsensational life of billets and drill that most accounts leave out.

Charles Bernard Nordhoff (1887-1947)

American. Ambulance driver, then Lafayette Flying Corps, then Lieutenant of US Army Air Service

The Fledgling (1919)

Series of letters (and dairy entries?)

Also see: The Lafayette Flying Corps Vol 1 and Vol 2 (1920), a history written with fellow pilot James Norman Hall.

Also see: Falcons of France (1929), another memoir written with James Norman Hall.

Erich Maria Remarque (1898-1970)

German. 2nd Guards Reserve Division, then 15th Reserve Infantry Regiment, 2nd Company, Engineer Platoon Bethe.

Field: Hem-Lenglet  Torhout and Houthulst.

All Quiet on the Western Front (1929)

The Road Back (1931) (limited preview)

Siegfried Sassoon (1886-1967)

The Sherston trilogy follows his entire service, although purged of anything literary or concerning his family. He also changed the names of almost everyone in it. The third book does a great job confronting the trauma he swears he doesn't have up until the last couple pages.

Memoirs of a Fox-Hunting Man (1928) Memoirs of an Infantry Officer (1930) Sherston's Progress (1936)

FICTION

More on the Internet Archive

Hervey Allen (1889-1949)

It Was Like This: Two Stories of the Great War (1940)

Leonid Andreyev (1871-1919)

The Confessions of a Little Man During Great Days (1917

Russian. Account of a fictional banker in St. Petersburg struggling through war shortages and family strife. Anti-war.

E. F. Benson (1867-1940)

British. Archeologist, Greek Scholar, Worked in Cairo with T. E. Lawrence. also hes gay

Up and Down (1918)

An at-home drama which begins pre-war and descends into featuring the relationship of letters between home and the front.

Dodo Wonders-- (1921)

Sequel to Dodo: A Detail of the Day (1893) Dodo’s Daughter (1913) and Dodo the Second (1914) social dramas.

Will R. Bird (1891-1984)

Private Timothy Fergus Clancy (1930)

John Buchan (1875-1940)

Scottish. Popular novelist, Writer for the Propaganda Bureau, Director of Intelligence, and Lieutenant of Intelligence Corps

The Thirty-Nine Steps (1915)

First in the Richard Hannay series, suspense spy novels meant to sensationalize war intrigue and German barbarism.

Also see: Nelson's History of the War, a serial which began in 1915 to become a 24-volume account of censored and pro-Allies Great War history.

Wilfrid Heighington (1897-1945)

Canadian. Lieutenant, 4th Canadian Infantry Brigade

Field: The Somme, Vimy Ridge

The Cannon’s Mouth (1943)

Edward Edward Plunkett, Lord Dunsany (1878-1957)

Anglo-Irish. Captain, Royal Inniskilling Fusiliers. Also participated in the Easter Uprising. Traveled to Ploegsteert, St-Emilie, the Somme, and Bourlon Wood as work for the MI7 (b) creating propaganda.

Tales of War (1918) & Unhappy Far-Off Things (1919)

Short stories largely created as propaganda and published in various papers before being collected in book form.

Also see: Patches of Sunlight (1938), his autobiography.

Rebecca West (1892-1983)

The Return of the Soldier (1918)

A rather fanciful novel of a woman confronting her cousin soldier returning home with amnesia, having forgotten the past 15 years of his life from shell-shock.

LETTERS

T. E. Lawrence (1888-1935)

I'm more familiar with Lawrence's post-war relationship with mental illness, which seems to be rooted in his tendency for self-reproach. He consistently bemoans his difference from the others, and details his reliance on military companionship for connections.

Highlights: To Lionel Curtis, 19/3/23. To Robert Graves, 12/11/22. To Lionel Curtis, 14/4/23.

Also published in: Lawrence, T. E., and Garnet, David. The Letters of T. E. Lawrence. Doubleday, Doran & Company, 1939.

Wilfred Owen (1893-1918)

Owen defends himself at every opportunity to eliminate the possibility that his distress is from cowardice, so while his testimony is valuable for its real-time recording, it's more difficult to pick out such violent and clear instances of trauma compared to other writers.

Also see: Uncensoring Owen Project

Highlights: To Susan Owen, 16/1/17. To Susan Owen, 4/2/17. To Susan Owen, 18/3/17 (which describes The Sentry). To Susan Owen, 6 (or 8)/4/17. To Susan Owen, 1/5/17. To Mary Owen, 8/5/17. To Siegfried Sassoon, 5/11/17. To Susan Owen, 6/17. To Susan Owen, 31/12/17. To Susan Owen, 4 (or 5)/10/19. To Siegfried Sassoon, 10/10/18.

Siegfried Sassoon (1886-1967)

Siegfried Sassoon letters to Max Beerbohm : with a few answers (1986)

Vera Brittain (1893-1970)

& Roland Leighton, Edward Brittain, Geoffrey Thurlow, Victor Nicholson

Letters From A Lost Generation: First World War Letters of Vera Brittain and Four Friends (1998)

PLAYS

R. C. Sherriff (1896-1975)

British. East Surrey Regiment

Field: Vimy Ridge, Loose, Passchendaele

Journey's End (1929)

Also novelized (1930) with Vernon Bartlett

J. M. Barrie (1860-1937)

Scottish. Propagandist. Also see: famous author propagandists

Echoes of the War (1918)

Four humorously written yet hard-hitting plays concerning the war, particularly interpersonal relationships at home. More like satire than jingoism tbh.

MEDICAL ESSAYS

Shell-shock and Other Neuropsychiatric Problems Presented in 589 Case Histories (1919) by E. E. Southard (ableist af but these case studies are an extraordinary insight into the breadth of symptoms and their treatment. highly recommended.)

War Neuroses and Shell Shock (1919) by F.W. Mott

Hysterical Disorders of Warfare (1918) by Lewis Yealland

Army Report of The War Office Committee of Enquiry into Shell Shock (1922)

Shell Shock and Its Lessons (1918) by Sir Grafton Elliot Smith, Tom Hatherley Pear

Repression of War Experience (1917) by W.H.R. Rivers

Conflict and Dream (1924) by W.H.R Rivers

Instinct and the Unconscious (1924)  by W.H.R Rivers

MEDICAL ACCOUNTS

Harold Barclay (1872-1922)

American. Captain, American Expeditionary Forces. Roosevelt Hospital Unit, then 42nd Division.

Field: Château-Thierry, St.-Mihiel

A Doctor in France, 1917-1919 (1923)

His diary--also published after his death.

Vera Brittain (1893-1970)

Testament of Youth (1933) 

Also see: Vera Brittain and the First World War: The Story of Testament of Youth (2014) for its extra chapter on Edward Brittain and his oft-discussed death (spoiler: they confirmed he was gay).

Ellen La Motte (1873–1961)

The Backwash of War (1916)

American. A collection of fourteen stories from the hospitals of France.

Helen Zenna Smith/Evadne Price (1888-1985)

Not So Quiet: Stepdaughters of War (1930) (limited preview)

Written in the style of Remarque’s All Quiet on the Western Front using Winifred Constance Young, an actual ambulance driver as inspiration. 

Sequels: Women of the Aftermath/One Woman’s Freedom (1931), Shadow Women (1932), Luxury Ladies (1933), They Lived With Me (1934)

May Sinclair/Mary Amelia St. Clair (1863-1946)

British. WSPU and WWSL member/Suffragette. Founding supporter of the Medico-Psychological Clinic in London, Munro Ambulance Corps in Flanders for a few weeks.

A Journal of Impressions in Belgium (1915) 

OTHER ACCOUNTS

A. T. Fitzroy/Rose Allatini (1890-1980)

Despised and Rejected (1918)

Austrian-British. A novel following members of the CO and Pacifist movement. also v gay

Father Bernard Carey (1865-1932)

Leaves from the Diary of a Catholic Chaplain in the Great World War 

(1920)

Irish. A chaplain's memoir of Egypt and East Africa, and the religious and racial intolerance in the military.

Philip Gibbs (1877-1962)

Germans on the Somme (1917)

John Masefield (1878-1967)

British. Poet Laureate. Briefly a Red Cross orderly, then propogandist with the Department of Information.

Gallipoli (1915)

Account of the campaign's failure to counteract anti-German propaganda in the US.

The Old Front Line (1918)

Eyewitness account of the Somme. Revisited and further completed in Battle of the Somme (1919)

The War and the Future (1918)

Also see: John Masefield's Letters from the Front, 1915-1917 (1985)

Also see: His poem “August 1914″

William Le Roy Stidger (1885-1949)

American. YMCA Pastor working with the AEF.

Soldier Silhouettes on our Front (1918) & Star Dust From The Dugouts (1919)

Stories of Christian faith through portraits of various soldiers.

Stanley Washburn (1878-1950) 

American. Correspondent of the London Times in Russia.

Field Notes From the Russian Front (1915) The Russian Campaign: April to August 1915 (1916) Victory In Defeat - The Agony Of Warsaw And The Russian Retreat (1916) Field Notes From the Russian Front (1917)

BLOGS & PROJECTS

Siegfried Sassoon resources

Cambridge Sassoon Project Blog

T. E. Lawrence texts and resources

Life timelines for several poets, like Sassoon and Owen

War Poets Association

Oxford War Poetry Digital Archive

List of additional war poets

WWI fiction resource

WWI timeline and artifacts resource

Today in WWI with Literary and Historical contexts

List of WWI authors and dust jackets

Additional WWI writers

Great War Theatre

Essay on American pilots in other armies

[judgement-free-sideblog]

Blood, tears and sea breeze

Warnings: ANGST, mental health issues, graphic depictions of violence, blood, cursing, mentions of sexual assault, mentions of sex, substance abuse.

Summary: The not so peaceful town of Broadchurch face dead again, while Alec Hardy continues his journey to redemption will this school teacher be the key to solve the mystery or just another victim of the ever watching evilness that seems to reside in the town.

First Previous Next

Chapter 14: I can have dinner

"Ready dear?" SOCO Brian came inside Alec's office looking for Ellie.

"Yes dear, just a moment" Alec responded in a dead serious tone, making both Ellie and Brian perplex for a whole minute "I'm obviously joking" he add embarrassed.

He had been like that on the week, casually making unnecessary light hearted comments, and behaving in what could almost be a good mood, he even had say thanks to Harford for his cup of tea in the morning, and Miller was sure about the reason but she pretend she didn't notice.

"Shitface has a sense of humor, you should do it more often" Brian said laughing, Alec didn't seem to mind the nickname this time, and then turn to Miller "I'll wait on the car" then he exited the room.

"His car?" Alec asked once the man left.

"I have been staying at his place a lot more after the weekend, we went to London, the kids loved it" She explained, she knew she didn't have to, but she wanted to.

"That's why you were late on Monday?" He asked.

"Yeah, he make me the favor to take the kids to school, and then he called to say Tom had gotten into a fight, I think your new admirer took her chance at that moment" she laughed again about Ashley being so direct about wanting a date with him. "I hope this laptop has more to say about the attack, tomorrow Jonathan will have been dead for two weeks"

"I know, you should leave, it's late and I can't concentrate on this, we have to make the reconstruction tomorrow and brief the superintendent on our progress, and she won't be happy" She gave him a compassionate look before leaving and he turned off the lights before exiting the room.

A salty, delicious smell welcomed him once he entered his house, all the lights were on and a happy chat coming from the kitchen made him feel out of place, like if that was not his home, it was devastating to think that a warm happy place was not his home, not like he missed the gray empty environment from the weeks before but he was just not ready to that sudden change, specially knowing that the light was coming from someone that in the best case scenario was going to leave once they catch the killer.

It was the second time that week he felt out of place, at least this time he wouldn't have to make excuses about not following Ashley Langford to her house for a night cap. It had been a disastrous interrogation, more so since she actually acted like they were on a date.

The lights of the Trader's Hotel bar were dim, maybe to make the occasional guests down there cozy enough to avoid leaving to find a better place, and Becca Fisher was chatting animatedly with Ashley Langford.

Alec waited for a moment before approaching, a childish idea that Becca may have told the woman about his embarrassing attempt to seduce her all those years ago, that was a blurry stupid mistake, but somehow he still felt uneasy around her for it.

Then a poisonous idea that maybe she told Paul when they were together, make him feel angry, perfect, young, good mate Paul, he had been avoiding that train of thoughts since the next stop was a pair of bare feet on his wooden floor rearranging his record and book collection, and as Miller had very eloquently pointed out, he was getting too close to this case.

"Hello" he said awkwardly and sit next to her, Becca pour a whiskey to him and then she walked away.

"You really have that look all the time don't you?" She smiled with her perfect teeth and he only took a tiny sip of the drink, he was still working but he was also very tired to following all this dead ends.

"So Ms. Langford, about the owner of the bar where Y/N was attacked, the BC dreamland" A stupid name for a nightclub he thought "A man named Mike Bolzano, do you know him?" She looked disappointed, no longer sad as in the morning, just plain disappointed.

"I don't know him personally, more like professionally, I may have taken a free drink from him once or twice, but nothing apart from that, my brother on the other hand has arranged a catering service from our business to his club to special events but I don't tend to go to those, I make the food and manage the books, Charlie does the rest". She tried to approach him again "I can't believe you have the case for Jonathan, we were very impressed about the Latimer's case, I mean Y/N and me, I'm glad you are taking care of my friend" she had long lashes on her green eyes, but the mention of Y/N was enough for him to not notice that.

"Daze?" He said perplex once his daughter bright smile welcomed him to the kitchen. "But is a Thursday".

"Hi to you too dad, bad day?" She said rolling her eyes the same way he did to Miller and Y/N drowned a little laugh. "Your prisoner and I make dinner, you want some?"

"Sure... she is not my prisoner, she is... what are you doing here again?" He said taking the glass of wine Y/N offered to him, the whole scene was too surreal to cope with, so he drank the whole glass immediately.

"Well it's Beth's birthday tomorrow and Chloe wanted to see her mother, and I couldn't came last week on the spring break, and I really needed a break from Uni, I know is not right, but is only two days" she start and served a plate of rice with clams and shrimp on the table for him.

"I'm sure your father is thrill to have you here, I didn't came back that often when I was in uni, I wish I had" Y/N said with a sad smile "at least my parents have Ash here to keep them company"

"Is that the friend you were talking about?" Dasy asked and Alec stop eating to listen carefully, he had listened to Ashley's version and hadn't had the chance to ask Y/N about some parts of that story.

"Well she was my neighbor for like my whole life, you know how are things around here, and we used to play all the time, I guess her parents let me be around in case she passed out so someone could scream for help, and well she always was the well educated one, respecting the elderly and doing her homework you know, I always was more of a troublemaker" She wink at him and he couldn't help to feel a little attracted to her "I was there for her, and she was there for me, she was the sister I always wanted, I mean I had Charlie but she was a girl and when you have parents as conservative as mine is basically impossible to feel free"

"Where they strict?" He asked assuming that Charles views on women had been learn in a misogynistic family, and understanding now why she was not living with them.

"My dear father called me a whore the moment he saw me in primary school talking to a boy, so yes detective they were strict, I was often send to the church to be punished, so Y/N always got in trouble only to keep me company, she has always been like that" her eyes were nostalgic, and he felt her sincere for the first time. "Anyway they throw me out and Mr. And Mrs. Y/L/N took me in, their elder children had gone away long before so they miss having a lot of people at home, I stayed there and start working, I even made uni on long distance since I had no money at all, when she finished uni we rented an apartment downtown, you living independently, Y/N and I have this crazy idea of travel the world once we got enough money" she said with a puzzling look, sad but also proud?.

"I was ready to leave town, I had been healthy for years, we were leaving on our own, I even saved enough money to the trip, for me and her, but my parents didn't want me to go, I don't think I have ever fought with them before, but you know how it is, sometimes children don't understand what their parents do for their own good, and sometimes parents don't understand that their children are already grown ups" Y/N gave him a meaningful look and he nodded in agreement. "Ashley tried to talk to them telling them she was joining me and that everything will be fine... but we never got to make amends" for a moment Hardy thought she would lost control again but she only nodded with her eyes closed and looked at Dasy "That's why you should make amends with Chloe, a true friend will be always there for you, I wouldn't have survived without her or Paul, I mean my older siblings were too old, they never really got me, and they had their lifes away from broadchurch, so I was alone."

"What's wrong with Chloe?" Alec asked alarmed

"Nothing dad, is just that she is older, and I don't know... is stupid" she said lowering her gaze. He was about to go back to his plate but Y/N gave him a look urging him to keep asking. Fine darling he thought and immediately remembered that this was not a family dinner, even when he was happy pretending it was.

"Oi! You can tell me, come on" he said and she finally look at him.

"Ok, she has a boyfriend, and she spends all the time with him and her uni friends, I don't know, I assume I would be the one fitting in but I felt left behind" she said and Y/N distractedly walked out of the kitchen to give them space to talk alone.

"When her parents die she was a mess, she didn't want to leave their house, thankfully Paul was there for her, he had always been into her, but I guess it was at that time that she look at him with other eyes, she never wanted to leave Broadchurch after that, she gave me part of her savings to open the Deli, she is like that you know? I suppose that's why Paul and Jonathan fell for her, she is just perfect"

"Then do you have any idea of someone that may want to hurt her? Or her fiance?" He said recovering his composure.

"Jonathan was not here for long enough to make enemys, and Y/N was loved by everyone, even my stupid brother and my parents always thought she was perfect, and now I bet you think the same, don't be ashame, is the Y/N effect" she said and he looked away to avoid blushing, because she was right.

Dasy was calmed after a while, it was hard for her to admit she was jealous of Chloe success, and he wondered if Ashley was also jealous of Y/N, or if maybe Y/N was jealous of the free life she had, trapped in broadchurch...

"She is too young for you" Dasy said after a while. "I mean, dead fiance aside, she is 34 and you 48, people would talk" he looked at her perplexed and she add with a smile "Jesus I'm messing with you, I didn't thought you actually liked her, I always asume you will get back together with Miller" she said laughing.

"She is happy with Brian, and I have no interest in Y/N she is staying here for protection, I would never do something that tremendously unprofessional" He started and then he noticed his tune was getting higher as he speak making it more obvious it was a lie.

"Fine, I will believe you, but you should tell her that tho, she is completely smitten by you, I can tell" She gave him a wink and left him alone in the kitchen, thinking about how this surreal domestic nonsense had become his new normal, starting after he interrogated Ashley.

He ask about her alibi, she was at the Deli all Friday, she got an angry text from Jonathan before picking her up at her place where she changed her clothes and went with Y/N to a nightclub at the moment he was murdered, she drove back inebriated to her house, and was too hungover to pick Y/N, the next morning so she called her brother, then she went to work and to pick Y/N at work but she wasn't there, then she drove to pick Jonathan at the airport, waited there for an hour before calling to her phone and then she was told about the incident by Katie Harford.

All of which had been corroborated by security footage and her deli patrons, but at the same time he was not sure why something felt off, he thanked her for the information and drove back to his place, it was late, around eleven, and yet his house was illuminated, she was reading a book distracted.

"Though night DI Hardy?" Y/N asked once he entered and sited on his couch. "I made dinner, don't worry the baby sitter you put down the road saw me exiting the house and escorted me to the grocery store" She said answering the question he was about to ask.

"You are not supposed to leave the house" he said after a while.

"I bought enough food to don't do it anymore" she said defensive and he was about to raise his voice when she add "I'm sorry, I just wanted to feel normal for a change, I know the situation and it won't happen again, I'm very grateful with you for letting me stay here, specially since you don't have to... I'll go to bed" She stood up and he stood up, thinking of grabbing her wrist but instead he call her.

"I can have dinner" he said and walked with him to the kitchen.

"So Ashley told you what kind of monster I am?" She asked while she start reheating the food.

"Quite the opposite actually..." he said distracted "I mean, who do you know I was meeting her?"

"Her best friend says she was attacked, and she is the only one alive to tell what happened, I imagined you'll asked her again about me" she said like it was nothing, but he could hear a little trembling on her voice with some words.

"Maybe you could start doing my job, and I could take some time off" he said and she put a cup of tea in from of him "Thank you"

"Let me guess you are wondering if she is single and you want to ask her out as soon as you get rid of me?" She had a playful smile on his eyes, unlike Ashley her compliments sounded real and sincere. "Don't give me that look you are not made of stone, even if you pretend to be, and she is insanely hot" she said and the way she lean on the table to give him his plate took him of guard, maybe in another life he thought as her face was about thirty centimeters from his. "You wouldn't be the first to end with that dumb look after meeting her" She said and sit on the table with another tea cup on her hands.

And she was right in almost everything, he wasn't made of stone, and Ashley Langford was incredibly beautiful, but the look in his eyes was all because of her.

Tag list:

@allonsymexgirl @laciesaito @tf18unipups @dazedkrosupreme @timey-wimey-lovi @coffees-and-constellations @ladyaziraphale

[farklelucas]

For that character headcannon thing: Isaac, Brett, Theo, Liam (tw) Carlos, Harry, Jane (Descendants) Jake, Terry, Charles (Brooklyn 99)

whoa that’s a lot…. okay, isaac first and the rest under the cut!

1: sexuality headcanon

GRADE A BI BITCH FIGHT ME ON IT

2: otp

very very much scisaac

3: brotp

allison & isaac, isaac & liam, erica & isaac & boyd (any combination)

4: notp

allison & isaac, chris & isaac, any adults & isaac

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

SWEATER BOY. loves sweaters. ugly, plain, baggy, tight. he just loves em.

6: one way in which I relate to this character

nervous anxious mess

7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

when he turns into new cocky werewolf isaac…. oh no baby what is you doin

8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

mmm problematic cinnamon roll

send me a character

brett

1: sexuality headcanon

he’s canon bi and y’all ain’t gonna change that lol bye

2: otp

BRIAM BRIAM BRIAM BRIAM

3: brotp

brett & malia…… idek why.

4: notp

honestly besides brett x adults i don’t think i really even have one

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

he lowkey loves flannels and often wears them around his waist

6: one way in which I relate to this character

functional bi

7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

when he’s first introduced and he laughs at liam in that weird and vaguely condescending matter

8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

problematic cinnamon roll ig??

theo

1: sexuality headcanon

oof uhhh i guess gay bc it makes sense

2: otp

i don’t really have one sorry! ig thiam bc mauricio Stans but im still :/ hesitant

3: brotp

again i just don’t click with theo as a character so i don’rt really have a lot of hcs for him ajskd

4: notp

sceo and steo

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

mmmm named his car “betsy”

6: one way in which I relate to this character

selfish asshole

7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

his whole evil villain thing

8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

problematic

liam

1: sexuality headcanon

GAAAAYYYYYYY

2: otp

briam…. briam….. always briam…..

3: brotp

honestly liam & the whole pack

4: notp

liam & adults

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

my buckteeth boy…. he got called bunny in gradeschool and at first he hated it but now he wears it with Pride 

6: one way in which I relate to this character

FULL OF ANGER

7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

i fell in a hole! :^)

8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

cinnamon roll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

carlos

1: sexuality headcanon

BI BITCH!!!!!!!!

2: otp

jaylos!

3: brotp

carlos & jane/evie/mal/ben

4: notp

carlos x harry is just not for me

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

he’s that bitch u go to starbucks with that gets hot cocoa instead of coffee

6: one way in which I relate to this character

loves dogs, fashion, and being bisexual. BAD AT SPORTS ANSJDKF

7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

the time where he asks jane to the dance ajskd

8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

CINNAMON ROLL!!!!!!!!!!

harry

1: sexuality headcanon

pan! (it’s funny….. bc……… peter pan ;-))

2: otp

huma aka the inventors of love

3: brotp

the sea three!

4: notp

harry & carlos, harry & evie, harry & jay, harry & mal

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

paints his nails like the edgy little bitch he is

6: one way in which I relate to this character

intense urge to murder at all given opportunities

7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

his rap verse ahsjdkfgkdkf

8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

PROBLEMATIQUE BYE

jane

1: sexuality headcanon

bisexual. im claimin everybody tonight.

2: otp

jane lonnie aka jonnie

3: brotp

jane & carlos/audrey/evie/mal/doug

4: notp

mmm idk i don’t think i really have one? just keep her Safe

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

she loves powder blue like that is her fucking color. she owns everything in that color. she’s also obsessed with the stars.

6: one way in which I relate to this character

hates herself ajsdkfl

7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

oof in the ending of the first movie when she takes the wand :/

8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

CINNAMON ROLL

jake

1: sexuality headcanon

bi as FUCK

2: otp

peraltiago bitch!!!!!

3: brotp

jake & everyone honestly all his friendships with the b99 are amazing

4: notp

jake & that lawyer lady he dated for 5 minutes

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

has punched a “meninist” in the face

6: one way in which I relate to this character

uses humor to cope with his life as a MESS

7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

BINGPOT

8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

cinnamon roll im love him!!!!

terry

1: sexuality headcanon

hmmm im kinda just thinking hetero?? not as a bad thing i just don’t pick up any queer vibes from him, as much as i love him

2: otp

oh you best BET it’s terry and his loving wife sharon!!!! i stan true love!!!!

3: brotp

terry & everyone again but especially jake and holt!

4: notp

??? idk really????

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

his wife gets him yogurt for his birthday. straight up.

6: one way in which I relate to this character

loves his kids!! i love them too!!!!

7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

nothing, perfect man

8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

CINNAMON ROLL

charles

1: sexuality headcanon

soft pan!!

2: otp

charles and genevieve but also…. just charles and happiness

3: brotp

CHARLES & EVERYONE BUT BIG CHARLES & JAKE 

4: notp

charles and sadness >:(

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

has always wanted to go to paris

6: one way in which I relate to this character

awkward boy…. dumb boy

7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

all the time. every of the time.

8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

the SOFTEST cinnamon roll!!!!!

[actualbird]

Hmmmmn do u have any all-time fave fics u could ref? I trust u

OH MAN!!! u didnt specify any fandom so im assuming you mean my all time faves from WHEREVER and OH BOY!!! 

i actually have fic rec page on my blog which spans over a whole bunch of fandoms and has cool legends like humor and angst and stuff (im still working on it tho omg) along with my catchall fic tag where i shove all the fics i reblog. but you asked for my ALL TIME FAVES so here are some off the top of my head (im limiting myself to one per fandom or else id be here FOREVER). 

(note: pls check the tags of fics before you read them)

Designations Congruent with Things by cleanwhiteroom (alt link) [Pacific Rim]

He begins at it already pried apart

OHHHHHH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. oh my GOD. okay i lose my shit over Designations Congruent with Things on a yearly basis because it is, by far, one of the most stunning pieces of fiction ive read. full stop. not only is it a feat of fanfiction (it’s GODDAMN LONG. it’s been taken off of ao3, so i cant check the wc, but damn i remember it was long), but as a story, it’s just. god, i dont even know what to say. ive already talked about this fic in a previous ask, so im just going to reiterate all my love again, just phrased slightly differently.

DCwT is an epic piece of Newt/Hermann Pacific Rim fanfiction. it follows Hermann and Newt after the events of the movie and delve painfully into each and every consequence their actions cause. it’s quite possibly the hardest thing ive ever read, for many reasons; the emotions are so vivid and they hurt; the science is so well researched it took me an hour to get through a paragraph because i my brain was still trying to catch up; Run On Sentences For Miles; it’s really, really goddamn long. i remember it got some flack for being over complicated, but in my opinion, the things that make this fic difficult are exactly what make it incredible. it’s overly cerebral in a way two messed up genius scientists would absolutely be. this fic is. i dont have words for it. i have only read the whole thing in its entirety ONCE and i have tried to reread it but goddamn is it difficult. this fic is definitely not for everybody, but it’s a piece of art that gained a bit of a cult following back when it was updating. (theres a fictional band in the fic that inspired ppl to make the band and the music real. RIGHT???) anyway this fic is basically the cornerstone which i worship when it comes to fanfiction as a genre of literature. jesus christ. jesus christ.

World Ain’t Ready by idiopathicsmile [Les Miserables]

Enjolras presses his lips together. He already looks pained, and Grantaire hasn’t even opened his mouth yet. That’s got to be a record, even for them.

“I need a favor,” he says at last.

“With what?” says Grantaire. “Ooh, are you forming a cult? Can I join? I’d be awesome at cults, I just know it.” He ticks off his qualifications on his fingers. “I love chanting, I look great in robes—”

(High school AU. Grantaire the disaffected stoner is pulled into a cause bigger than himself. Or: in which there are pretend boyfriends for great justice.)

if youve ever been in the les mis fandom i know you know this fic. i know youve already read this fic. i know that your dog has probably already read this fic. i know that this fic has been recced to hell and back, and currently resides as the most kudo-sed work in the les mis tag on AO3. but im reccing it anyways because it’s just THAT GOOD. this fic got me INTO THE FANDOM. pacing. plot. characterization. teen angst. HUMOR. this fic is perfect. literally no other words. it’s just perfect. i read this in my last few months of senior year high school, and never before have i ever read a fic that actually, truly, felt like it was about teenagers. the narrative and the voice. the dialog. god. if this were a book, id buy it. and that’s saying something because im always BROKE. but id buy this fic. several times. who am i kidding. you dont need to know this bc youve read this fic before. if you havent, please. do yourself a favor. oh my god. oh my god. (and when youre done, read all of idiopathicsmile’s other fics too god theyre all SO GOOD)

catch me if you can by isawet [Teen Wolf]

What do you think of my solution to the Kobayashi Maru?

hands down one of my favorite teen wolf fic. a vague summary gives way to a fic with incredible characterization. fucking beautiful writing style. non-chronological story telling done wonderfully. and gosh, that ending. hilarious in tiny bits that make it all the more better. just, honestly. this fic needs so much more love. it’s my go-to fic whenever i want to understand just how one can utilize suspense and tension in writing. what the hell. what the

Segments [series] by d_aia [Kingsman: The Secret Service]

“Are you sure that’s how you want to tell him?” Merlin asked once again.

“He will need space to deal with situation. It’s how he copes,” Arthur explained and a bit pretentiously at that, if one were to ask Merlin. “I’m giving him a place and a reason to run.”

Merlin chose to shut up.

all fics in this series? my favorite. it’s intelligent, brutal, beautiful. it’s been a while since ive read these, but theres a reason these fics still haunt me. god. god.

Graduate Vulcan for Fun and Profit by lazulisong [Star Trek: AOS]

It really does take a village to raise a Jim.

The members of the Kelvin’s crew watch over Jim as much as he lets them.

I LOVE THIS FIC SOOOOOOO MUCH. it’s a really delicate, heartfelt piece that isnt afraid to be an asshole sometimes, which is basically jim kirk in a nutshell. not only does it go through an incredible reflective relationship with some rando vulcan who decided to take him under his wing, but it does so in a realistic way that doesnt over dramatize aspects, but still ends up very vivid. also, THERES VULCAN LINGUISTICS. linguistics + fanfiction = 10000000% Best Shit EVER.

fathers and sons by M_Leigh [X-Men: DoFP]

“I have an – interest – in Peter Maximoff,” Erik said, somewhat grudgingly, glaring. “A – familial – interest –”

Everybody stared at him.

“In that – mutantkind is one – large – family –” Erik said valiantly, if pathetically.

“Oh, shit,” Alex said. “No way. No way.”

ghghgfjhdh the first xmen fic i ever read and by far, the most fukcgin hilarious. jesus CHRIST. theres just something subtly incredible about how the author uses phrasing to make every sentence as goddamn funny as they are. im really in love with the comma placement in this fic. every comma is exactly where it needs to be. every em dash is where it belongs. IM NOT MAKING SENSE, but i would send this fic to people as a prime example of narrative humor uplifted via phrasing and punctuation. just read this fic. it’s got Hank POV, Charles being a “strange lecherous Englishman”, Peter being a Teen, and everybody drags Erik’s fashion choices. 

Repeat After Me by queenieofaces [Yuri On Ice]

Victor learns language through mimicry, hears phrases and repeats them back until the inflection becomes second nature. Yuuri seems to communicate best through euphemism, through metaphor, through talking around the subject rather than approaching it head on, and so Victor tries his best to mimic him, to take his words and echo them back.

(Vignettes in language learning and communication, spanning the whole series.)

SO!! FUCKING!!! GOOD!!!!!!!! i think ive mentioned how much i LOVE LANGUAGE and this fic tackles the language barrier in a beautiful, earnest way. as a bilingual, this fic was just so so so good. victor is just bounding with love in this fic and the writing just feels so..,,,,warm.,,,,, 

OKAY i know you only asked for fic recs and not….all these rambles but. i just have a lot of love for fanfiction. fanfiction is so great. we are so lucky. we are so lucky. dont 4get to leave kudos and comments on fics you like! happy reading anon!!!

[caatws]

have u seen the ep? i thought the mental illness stuff was fine, speaking as someone who's been to therapy for that (ofc i don't speak for everyone)

i think i said this in all my posts on the matter - but i haven’t! doesn’t air for over another hour for me on the west coast :/ hollywood rly said fuck west coast rights huh

and i’ve been talking to and reading the posts of ppl who have watched it already - i’ve seen a mix of praise and criticism. from what i gather, it seems like the bigger problem is jake’s behavior re: his anti-therapy stance throughout the ep than the therapy itself. (tho the scene where he supposedly pretends to be a patient with did, mislabeled in the show as mpd, seems to be one of the biggest issues ppl have)

idk what specifically you’re referring to attending therapy for, but i have also been going to therapy actually recently, though i’m sure everyone’s experiences are different. in the scene i did watch, i did appreciate the brief exchange where charles described what his therapist told him abt humor as a coping mechanism with jake’s “what the fuck” bc that was genuinely funny without actually poking fun at mental illness (which any show’s gag that features a character pretending to be mentally ill in the way jake did is, i would argue, pretty impossible to not make offensive or insensitive).

once again, i haven’t seen the ep, but when i do, i’ll let y’all know my thoughts more in depth