#bc I was their age once and it's a little nostalgic to look back on

[schnuffel-danny]

trying to think of f/f ships I have in DP and realizing that I.... I'm so dedicated to my limited number of blorbos, that I don't really ship anything besides Maddie/Jack/Vlad???

like, I guess there's potentially romantic dynamics I like with some of the kid characters, but I just.... idk something in my brain just doesn't wanna get invested in shipping of kid characters :,D so it just starts and ends at "eh, I guess they could maybe date, for a bit? idk they're like 14, their love lives do not concern me"

[beesmygod]

hmmm. was olga more "respectable" than maxine, for lack of a better word? we know she was the head of the coven, but would that mean respect from people outside of magic practitioners? or because of the way the world is set, there is not really a sharp divide between people that meddle with magic and spirits and people who dont? im asking bc i find the theme of legacy super interesting when it comes up (do people think that maxine is dragging the gottwin name through the mud? or do they shrug their shoulders bc who gives a damn about what an exterminator does and doesnt do?)

this is a good question and warranted a good answer, sorry for the delay.

there are a couple things at play here:

the position of "town witch"/coven leader was once significantly more prestigious than it is today. what used to be a position as essential as the fire or police chief has been worn away by technological advancements; her position was essentially replaced with extermination as a global business model after the rise of the cheap, electronic anti-ghost devices. maxine inherited a defunct position and failing business.

the divide between those who practice magic and those who don't is, funnily enough, the same as my view on why people make art and others don't: they don't enjoy doing the process. its messy, its complicated, it takes a long time, doesn't have guaranteed results, and it involves dead things in one way or another. sometimes it's just easier to call someone to do the process for you when you can't be bothered to work on your pronunciation of magic words. in this way, a witch is sort of like a plumber or a mural artist. explicitly for hire to do something you don't want to deal with yourself because it might be out of your skill range/take too long to learn the skills. so olga's reputation did suffer a little bit from the irrational public assessment of extermination as a "messy" business.

there's also an unfortunate stain on the gottwin name that maxine inherited long before her grandmother died: her father ran away from home in his teens because he and olga fought viciously and publicly. no one heard anything else about him until he died, and it was a surprise to everyone (including olga) that maxine even existed at all. so the rumor mill started churning: what did olga do that upset her son so badly? by the time olga died, people seemed to understand that the family was cracked beyond repair; behaviors that were more acceptable in the decades before the events of the comic were looked at in hindsight as painful and cruel. and since maxine, public nuisance, was the end result of olga's work it's hard for the public not to lay the blame at her feet.

so, maxine is caught in a sort of weird nostalgic hell where people can simultaneously tut-tut her for not being enough like her grandmother or for being too much like her. lol. this was a ramble but i hope it was interesting. im folding most of this into the comic but a lot of it i just try to keep in my brain when writing and thinking about them both.

ive been thinking more and more about olga as we approach parts where we're be flashing back to maxine's childhood and approach the next (final?) book. "books" are the huge overarching storylines as opposed to individual chapters, so there's still a lot of AGS to go. i want to explore character motivations so much i just need the power and energy to do so again.

[kairiscorner]

HII, can I request something? I remember you said something about your headcanon that Noir can play guitar. Imagine, he plays the chords of Glue song while his s/o sings and then later he sings his part then DUET

OOOOOOOO CUTEEEE !! tbh i just discovered that song now bc of you, thank you anon for the exposure to beabadoobee 🫶🫶🫶 THAT WOULD BE SO CUTE THOUGH LIKE....... (also reader will be the text in yellow ! and both of you singing is the text in purple !!)

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

peter had taken out the guitar he had when he was younger, it looked a bit old and aged, a little worn out, but it still sounded right. you were busy reading, or pretending to read at least, when peter came into the living room, bringing the aged chordophone out to see the light of day. you smiled in awe at the guitar, recognizing what it was, reminiscing silently to yourself all the memories you two created with that guitar constantly popping up in mind.

peter smiled as he saw your awestruck smile at the sight of it, reliving the sweet, nostalgic memories between you two. wordlessly, he sat down on the sofa next to you, strumming to see how well it could still play. "it's a miracle it still sounds lovely." he said with a grin as you chuckled. "it sounds just like when we were younger, when you were still way too shy to look me in the eye." you teased as peter smiled wider, blushing a bright pink and red all over his face. "well, let's see if the guitarist can look his beloved in the eye while playing. i haven't been able to do that for... a long while now, really." he said with a chuckle as you nodded in agreement with his statement.

peter soon played the chords of a song you both liked, though he sounded a little rusty at first, he kept playing the chords and strumming the strings until he got just the right tune. he soon carried the melodious tune going, with you swaying along to the song's beat and rhythm. you soon found yourself humming along, then as you gazed into peter's eyes, you found the courage to sing the lyrics in a soft voice.

"i've never known someone like you. tangled in love, stuck by you from the glue." you sang as you gazed at peter's fingers, strumming away, and soon, gazing up at him, catching him staring at you all flustered when you caught his gaze. "don't forget to kiss me," you sang as you leaned closer to him. "kiss me," he backed up as you placed a hand on his cheek, pulling him close to your lips. "or else you'll have to miss me," you sang, pulling away from him as he sighed, still smiling as he backed you up. "miss me,"

"i guess i'm stuck forever by the glue." you sang as you stared into his eyes with a flustered smile.

peter smiled and lightly chuckled as his fingers almost slipped up when he watched you sing, though even when he messed up, you never made fun of him for it, or stopped singing to make light of his slip up, and he loved you dearly for that.

"you've been hiding in plain sight..." he sang as he looked at you, leaving his gaze on you lingering for a little while longer. "then appeared," he inched closer to you, tickling you with his breath on your cheek as you giggled. "loving you once only feels wrong, i need years. i always knew i'd find you... to be here is worth the wait, too." his voice became a little softer as he sang. "i'm not lyin' when i say i've been stuck," "i've been stuck," "by the glue onto you."

"i've been stuck by glue, right onto you, i've been stuck by glue..." as you two sang in harmony, relishing this moment in time, where everything feels like it's all in its right place at the right time... you really felt like all those moments of telling him you loved him, him repeating to you how he's loved nobody else like how he loves you, all the corny jokes you two tell each other, the times when you two have cold arguments and warm hugs, the time spent with you two in each others' embrace as you dance to the slow songs playing late at night on the radio... it feels perfect, it feels right, it feels not just like, it is love.

tags !! @thecoolerdor @miguelswifey04 @sabcandoit @binibinileonara @fiannee @luvstarrstruck @k4tsu3 @maxoloqy @thee-fantastic-mrfox @arachnoia @ophanimgold @fictarian @yuridopted0

[emilycollins00]

Act 2 re-read! A summer of overcomings!

Celebration time!! First otsu otsu from Itaru made me nostalgic sob

“Closing night was one of the happiest moments of my life” I know this is natsugumi time but this line from Saku hit me in the feels (also seeing Masumi’s sprite laughing like that was so sweet aw)

I like Yuki sm. I mean, I have always liked him but he’s so... frank? (mmm not the word but oh well) for his age and in the auditions you see the contrast between him and Kazu. Yuki IS somewhat interested after the show but I feel he understood it might take something more for him to be on board (after all there is a lot going on), on the other hand Kazu just went for it -which is fine- but it did feel as if he didn’t think that one too much (edit after the whole read: now im thinking that maybe it’s bc he saw the possibility of creating something similar to what spring troupe showed in like... a chance to find what he was looking for in a real friendship and i might cry)

Costume designer AND actor, tsuzuru pls don’t push the hand work to a middle schooler

“Mmm… You are pretty young” Tenma I’m tilting my head and raising my eyebrow that is not how I raised you (I forgot how he behaved at first help).

I loved how the audition went! Also props to Izumi for facing the big named actor and saying basically if you keep up this behaviour no matter how good you are you are out.

It's nice hearing the parents' voices as well! Yuki’s mom felt mmm idk didn’t expect it like that? Not that it was bad but it did feel how the house worked (also sakisaka papa crying bc of his son I swear this familyyyy/pos I love him)

“Where’s my gold star?” “Up your ass for all I care” Yuki really didn’t hold back oh my GOD once again kissing location

MISUMIIII (SDFGHJ Kazu really went “Rad it’s a ghost!” I wheezing) also the mechanic of the game to make it seem he was jumping all over the place by moving his sprite quickly from one side to the other hELP

There it is, the first catch em all from Izumi I love her kahsdkhkd

“Can I have another onigiri?” “Take it, my burglar friend” these combos I’m having so much fun?? (also the etudes where so nice to see!! tenma-misumi that was real cool)

OGtenma: I SHOULD be the leader bc blah, blah-

CurrentTenma whispering: You naive fool

Misumi being happy at kazu calling him bud I might cry

I like natsugumi ambition in all honestly regarding the play (also side note but kajshj strong muku unlocked I forgot he was like that since the beginning!)

First rehearsal was good for the exp they have. I’m happy Sakuya used his powers on Tenma to make him see you can be a good leader without needing to be complaining (whoever said that this might be bc Tenma was used to this harsh treatment during his jobs I second it)

The whole thing with kazu OH I wish I could hug him. That little flat laugh made me stop the story oof. Tenma really stepped over the line with everyone and I’m super glad Izumi had a talk with him

AW the firework scene!! (also known as, the beginning of tenma’s bullying/j) I think the natsugumi story is one of the most fun bc their dynamic as a full groupe are just so chaotic filled with nostalgia? I mean, they are the youngest troupe and I know it’s intentional but I still like it <3

THE BATH DMS I SWEAR THIS TROUPE I'M CACKLING (yuki’s was heads down the best I helpppp) glad the camp went well in the end!!

Yuzo and Sakyo attacking once again wow/j

Not Izumi getting teary at the vision of his dad AND misumi giving her a triangle they both deserve so much I swear (I’m also super curious about Og-natsugumi)

EVERYONE SILENCE WILD OMI APPEARED/j he was so sweet from minute 0 aw (I’m ignoring his angst up until akigumi main story <3 nope, not today)

I can’t wait to know about Reni in future jp stories bc SIR why

Anyway mukuyuki friendship ftw I adore how they hold one another and get strong together

Kazunari’s having a hard time siding with an opinion oh that was so close to home. I wish there was a way to help when someone is not able to voice or choose bc of pressure about their surroundings mm

OK SO If Igawa has 100 fans I’m one of them. If Igawa has 1 fan I’m them. If Igawa has no fans then-

Sumeragi dad I hope you kjdfknfjk I had to stop reading again. The thought of hitting tenma whether it was a one-time thing or… yeah, I can’t. I don’t like how this was handled so no more comment!

Sob. Can Izumi give me a pep talk as well. Just one? Please?

I love this troupe dynamic I swear. Good boys all over the place doing their best!!

I also wonder about hakkaku mmmmmm (“gramps is the only one who didn’t give up on me” that was so heavy… the protractor….. I need a minute)

Off that first camera dressing rehearsal I forgot…. Aw that must have been so harsh! Tenma really froze, him practicing alone in the theatre was something.

No but I’m asking BEGGING at this point can Izumi give me a pep talk??? (what a woman I love her and admire her SO MUCH UGH)

Spring troupe encouraging aww I love tenma-saku dynamic.

Man this play was everything!! I loved the full tale and that Muku really saved Tenma there!! (I’m proud of everyone but Muku somehow seeing the first audition and this one?? The boy worked so much and it SHOWS )

Tenma calling each of them before the last play without honorifics and everyone being so sweet ofc I cried all the way until the curtain call aw… all the adlibs brought so much force to the play and seeing them hugging and so happy oof, the whole thing was so fun I’m so glad! <33

Igawa coming to see Tenma? Nice Tenma’s parents coming to see him? MMM

MUKU’S PARENTS ARE JUST LOVELY WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT THEM MORE

GASP the juza/banri fight was after the play oh wow I did NOT remember that happening!! Abstaining from commenting but ogbanri that was so rude of you, you cant just come up to someone and ask for a fight!

Not reni talking about taichi like an assassin kasdkh this man is such a drama queen

I loveeeed this ep. They didn’t focus much on each member but the interactions between them all as a groupe were adorable as time passed aw they are friends your honor 💕💕

[nomairuins]

CONNOR ON REPEAT REVIEW AND COMMENTARY

1. it boy - bbno$

Its a good song 👍 this one has been on repeat the past couple of days. very catchy and such

2. What I Want - Gregor Mcmurray

this one hit the connor charts like idk May. i say idk. i checked lastfm to be sure. i wouldnt want to spread misinformation 2 my friends in neighbors. this one hit connorworld at the same time as satisfaction which probably is somewhere else on this list. GOOD SONG ! i try not to play it around my little brother bc while hes pretty good abt please and thank you i dont want him to learn a bad lesson. which is a stupid thing 2 think JDBDJFNFN

3. Tell Me - Wonder Girls

this one has been on my list for ages like basically since march or april (it ws around the first time i got back bc lamp did a big songs haul 4 me 💚💚) but idk it came on shuffle the other day and now ive had it on loop. Mainly while i was looking at the deathnote wiki (i do this often i just look t random wikis ive doen this to 5 wikis in the past like. week. have not seen death note) so whenever i hear it i picture misa. sooo yeah

4. Lust for a Vampyr

HUGEEEEE in the connor billboard hot 100 like last month or june . somewhere in there. this one i had going with WHERE ARE THEY NOW. i surposeni was feeling vaguely spooky... great somg 👍 it makes me think abt aus for my fuckass ocs. throwing them at a wall

5. Keep Up - Karma Carr

thank you dunmeshi fandom for making me find out abt this song i love this song. GREAT SONG ! as a great scholar once said i need you working harder baby done with all the yes no maybe.

6. Lay All Your Love On Me

i think somebody annoying did a cover or something or it was a different abba song but it made me mad so i went to go listen to more abba and i got a bit crazy abt this song. GREATTT SOMG i think went crazy roughly the same time as where are they now and lust for a vampyr. smile. or im mixing it up. GREAT SONG! and also. sorry. it makes me think of aus for my fuckass ocs. UGHHH (not talking abt them bc im bad abt them (got frustrated bc my brain doesnt work) but it makes me think of cadaver sooooo hard its crazy. but its also a great song if u arent thinking about a feak. obviously.)

7. She Keeps Me Up - Nickelback

one dont mock me im a beautiful woman. okay. i was having a nostalgic phase ans while neither this song or the song i was looping it concurrently with r songs i specifically knew as a kid they did remind me of something i could imagine like. my dad listening to (possibly while hanging out with my papaw). or that i could imagine hearing one of my uncles play at a cookout. and i had just gotten back from the fourth of july. and also like funky little monkey shes a twisted trickster is a fun line SRY. me and lamp got this in a discover weekly ages back and it just stuck in my head... catchy song . sry.

8. Bad Girlfriend - Theory of a Deadman

if you listen to this song and the previous song back 2 back you will understand why i was looping them concurrently. very similar vibes. they also make me conjure a woman in my brain and i think that woman is hot. so yeah.. lets move on.

9. I Was Made For Lovin' You Baby - KISS

i kept hearing the chorus to i was made for lovin you baby in my dreams but it was a beautiful haunted woman singing it. and so basically i started lisrening to the somg a lot but pretending it was the beautiful haunted woman. COME TO FIND OUT 1 i have afalsetto now yeahhh yeahhhh lets go testosterone yeahhhh slayage. 2. the beautiful haunted woman i imagined was my own falsetto. HUGE day for connor. me and lamp looped this skng os much bc it became one of our copycat things. where we often just sit together sying the same like 8 sentences or lyrics over and over. and this entire sogn went platinum in connor and lamp world. and . sry. if i squint my eyes a LOT it can be abt my ocs. I DONT THINK ABT THEM THAT MUCH I DONTT I DONT <- liar.

10. Butcher Vanity - Vane Lily, Jamie Paige, ricedeity

i think everybody this side of tumblr is awarenof Butcher Vanity so i dknt need to explain. this and keep up i believe were huge at around the same time... Good Song !!!! it was on the top for like. a month. insane. ty to my mutual who mentioned it in a lyric game lifechanging stuff.

11. Call Me - Blondie

i did make a post abt the mishap but basically me and my mom n lamp and maybe pheebs n maybe anna were driving back from somethingorother recently. idr details. i thot 4th but my dad wasnt there so... but anyways we were talking abt one hit wonders and blondie came up so we xhecked and they actually have a couple including call me but we didnt know if the call me on blondies page was the one that goes CALL ME ! (it is) so i ws like ill put it in the queue and after this song we r listening to it will play the blondie song call me . entirely forgetting i already had stuff in my queue. so we keep being Like om time for the blondie song bc we had been anticipating it and then fucking WOOWA comes on . Not a blondie song if u didnt know. i was mocked viciously by my wicked family members... Anyways and then i listened to this song a lot after that. so yeah. Good song. CALL ME!

12. Only - Nine Inch Nails

im half convinced this will be on my on repeat until the day i die. This song is sooo me 👍 i dont need 2 get into it bc it was here In my last on repeat commentary so you know. Good song though there is no you therenis only me there is no you there is only me there is no fucking you there is only me there is no fucking you there is only me ^_^ only ^_^ only ^_^ only ^_^ . etc. stream

13. WHAT YOU WANT! - asteria

this was huge around the same time as what i want and satisfaction. and also any way u want. lamp made fun of me for listening to so many wantinf songs at the same time.. SORRY! its a good song it xactually came before what i want and satisfaction in connor timeline. probably found it in a lampstie discover weekly. YAY!

14. Breakthrough - Twice

i had a rather brief but very strong kpop moment. specifically twice but also a few other songs. like i have a couple kpop songs i like normally but idk i just got rly crazy into like. 3 twice songs and 1 billlie song. and i listened to them exclusively nonstop for a couple days. dont know what it was abt. great song though like i like it... i think its bc i fell into a trap of watching fancams and those like MOST POPULAR MVS EVERY MONTH FOR EVERY YEAR videos. and i was like writing down notes. mostly twice notes evidently.

15. Does Your Mother Know - ABBA

the lyrics in this song honestly have not aged the best not that theyre Awful idt but yk . itis still a rly catchy song . i also might be overreacting bc i get kind of panicky abt stuff like this JDNDJFN but i do like the song

16. The Hand That Feeds - Nine Inch Nails

this was on my last discover weekly so im taking this time to say its crazy im down to only 2 nin songs on my on repeat. for a while it was 4+ DJDNFJNFJF ever since i did my big (re)listen (my parents have always been into nin and they were my favorite band as a kid (i had a nin baby onesie) but i didnt like. know titles or All the songs and stuff) but now its only 2... i did the other day listen to umm the downward spiral and with teeth on loop a couple of times. but since i listened to judt like. both albums twice that was only 2 listens for each song DJNDJFNF. so sad...

17. Virtual Insanity - Jamiroquai

wasss this on my last one idr. i think i started listening to this one pretty early post me moving back (i probably had heard it b4 idr DNDNJFNF) but its good. YAY! not much 2 say. good song and stuff

18. GingaMingaYo - Billlie

ya i saw the one fancam. you know and then i listened to the full song and then i just Keptt doing that. LOL. very catchy song i like it 👍👍 i also thought the mv was fun

19. BANG BANG - K'NAAN, Adam Levine

catchy. which im realizing is the main thing abt songs isnt it.. this ones platinum ATM its been this and tell me on repeat 4 a while. good song guys. she shot me she shot me bang bang she shot me. YAY

20. Not Like Us - Kendrick Lamar

you dont need me to tell you this but its good DJRNFKNFJF the mv came out and i just kept looping it 👍👍

21. WHERE ARE THEY NOW??? - emily jeffri

ok actuallt terrifying bc i am listening to my on repeat on shuffle rn and ull never guess what song started right when i wrote the number. Umm hey we were just talking abt you all nice things all nice things... ANYWAYS as i mentioned this one was looping w lust 4 a vampyr Different sort of vibes but theyre both kind of creepyesque. IDK theyre good. it also. sigh. worlds heaviest sigh. Yeahhh i fucking think abt the freaks with this one too. UGH

22. Head Over Heels - Tears for Fears

yet another thats probably never going to leave my on repeat... this song had a big moment 4 me a while ago and like. its goid 2 play in the car with the family bc everybody likes it. everybody always likes my music bc im a princess and im beloved but this and everybody wants to rule the world r like basically the safest songs ever LMAO and also its good and so fun to sing bc its like. well iw as gonna say in my vocal range. i think i usually have to sing an octave down JDNDJFN but that makes me super euphoric SO ya.

23. Let It Rock - Kevin Rudolf, Lil Wayne

all music is on here either bc its catchy or bc im nostalgic this song is both. its like CONCENTRATED nostalgia idk why its like. One of those songs where like i listened to it a Ton during some undefined period in my childhood and then Didnt hear for a while so its like opening up an old box and findjng like. a toy you forgot abt. as opposed to other childhood nostlgia somgs that arent the same bc ive Been lidtening to them since like any aqua song LOL. thats more like my super worn out toy ive had since i was In utero. yk...

24. Not Ur Dream Girl - Precious

i have like 3 or 4 precious songs on my playlist i want more i like them ^_^ i need to lidten to more of her.. aside from this i have any way u want (first one i heard) sugar n spice and tell me tell me. YAY. i think not ur dream girl is my fav rn its so good

25. The Rest For The Wiked - Sohodolls

last vestige of my rly strong sohodolls moment. where i listened to Ribbed Music For The Numb Generation on loop. good album idt this is my favorite from it i think it might be my vampire... but its CLOSE i like this one and the others as well. this one was huge at the same way as any way u want which is a kind of funny comtrast but also i get it

26. Supermassive Blackhole - Muse

another probably permaresident... And another rly easy auxcord one. Ive talked abt it so u get it. good song its jumpscared me in 3 different pieces of media when i just wasnt rly prepared for it. even tho u think i would be. bc they were all from aroundish the same time period too... so ig it was just big then... But i didnt find it from any of those 3 media so it scare me everytime.

27. Everybody Wants To Rule The World - Tears for Fears

see basically everything i said abt head over heels LMAO its good 💚💚 i like singing it and stuff

28. Any Way U Want - Precious

ok actually this might still be #1 Precious song it came on shuffle while i was writing the past couple. GOOD SONG 👍👍👍 her voice is so pretty 2 me. yay

29. My Type - Saint Motel

the nostalgia it got me again... it was in a miniplaylist/challenge me and lamp made abt songs where theyre talking abt a woman where theyre like This woman sucks kind of but god i wont her. this one is a very loose fit but i wanted to include the tidbit.

30. Superbeast - Rob Zombie

this is vrazy bc it just msde me realize living dead girl is off of my on repeat. WERE LOSING BRAND RECOGNITION!!!! <- not even part of my brand anywhere (i also dont have a brand im just a crazy girl )i just rly like that song. i like sueprbeast tho. nostalgia won but its also a good song

[palehottubchild]

Get to know me

Thank you @sflow-er you know how much j like doing these ahahahhah

Do you make your bed?

Not really, i try to but in reality i never get around to it

What's your favourite number?

3, 9 and 12. NOT 6

What is your job?

i currently have two jobs, one of which is a little hard to explain but essentially boils down to research in healthcare and the other is hospitality in the biggest tourist attraction in my country (which is a seasonal job). two VERY different jobs in very different sectors, hahah

If you could go back to school, would you?

I actually am still in uni and i do not feel any particular wish to go back to high school. I would, however, have chosen a different degree if i could start over again but thats a different story.

Can you parallel park?

Technically yes, i can, but i hate it and it takes ages so i avoid it at all costs.

A job you had that would surprise people?

actually most jobs ive done surprise people, but more so because nobody knows they exist as jobs. In high school i used to do delivery for the pharmacy and as mentioned before now the research job. both things most people dont know are things someone gets paid to do until i tell them hahah.

Do you think aliens are real?

realistically i dont think its possible at all that we are the only planet with living beings on it. i do believe that there are no aliens in our solar system, but i do not believe that in the entirety of the universe only one planet managed to create life. I also think that life might look very different on other planets but im convinced 'aliens' exist in some way shape or form

Can you drive a manual car?

Again, technically i can. but i try to avoid it all costs bc ive only driven automatic cars basically since i got my license lol

What's your guilty pleasure?

reading fic, even more guilty if its from a fandom im technically no longer into but i sometimes just get this weird nostalgic need, you know

Tattoos?

Not yet, i have a design and a place in mind but my family is very strongly opposed to all tattoos and i still see them often enough to be a little bit afraid

Favourite colour?

for clothes, blue or brown. for other things anything in the navy colour palette (so like burgundy and navy and other colours in those kinda hues)

Favourite type of music?

I honestly will listen to anythign that has a recognisable distinct melody (so mostly excluding metal, too heavy rock and some rap) but am especially fond of 2000s 2010s dance music or indie/pop music from anything between the 80s and the 2010s. Not a big fan of what seems to be more modern pop culture but i can appreciate a harry styles or a taylor swift every once in a while

Do you like puzzles?

Yes!!!!! anything that i can use my brain for im down

Any phobias?

creeped out by all bugs and spiders (yes, even the cute and pretty ones) and not a big fan of big animals. slightly uncomfortable at high heights, dont do well in the dark and very very very uncomfortable in small spaces

Favourite childhood sport?

Did gymnastics until i was about 7 and then switched the the loml that was swimming and did that all the way up until uni. hated anything involving running or a ball

Do you talk to yourself?

Not when im alone, sometimes when other people are present

What movies do you adore?

I tend to like any movie i watch. Special mention to knives out, megamind and bottoms though

Coffee or tea?

I like the fancy coffees when im out having a drink or having lunch, at home i prefer tea

What was the first thing you wanted to be growing up?

i dont remsmber what came first exactly but the three professions that had the most prominent part in my youth were hairdresser, teacher and most of all writer. I always liked writing and words and languages and making things but unfortunately that took a stark dive durong high school that im still recovering from lol

as usual consider yourself tagged if you feel like doing this ahah

[skullfacedog]

in the past I’ve kinda wondered whether my attachment to the idea of traumacore/being a victim of csa and kind of showing symptoms and some other things was caused by a past life where I experienced csa or current life trauma that I have no memory of and I’ve been gradually accepting that I likely have repressed trauma from daycare but just today I realized it very well could be both. so that’s great. I rlly couldn’t get a break, I was traumatized and died young in my last life, only to be abused again at 5 years old after being reborn lol. thanks universe.

the reason I suspect I had a past life like this is that even as a kid I had dreams and memories of a house I’ve never been to, but growing up I just thought it was something I saw in movies, but it feels so weirdly nostalgic it’s hard to really tell whether it’s like fake/skewed memories from childhood movies or something I saw on tv or if my brain is just making shit up or if I’m actually remembering something from another life. and the past life theory is really starting to make sense because it seems to have taken place in the 80s/90s, a time period I’m very nostalgic for- which could partially be because I’m the youngest in my family and a ‘96 baby so I grew up with some 80s stuff and tv shows. but I keep coming back to this particular house, and it feels so real, as if I’ve seen it in person but I know for sure I haven’t, not in this life.

there’s also my weird attachment to hospitals. I have never been hospitalized. I mean, maybe if you count the time I got so dehydrated as a kid I passed out and had to go to the hospital but I didn’t stay overnight and I don’t remember it. I know what the hospital in my town looks like though, because I’ve been there a few times when my nieces and nephews were born. but I almost feel like I was hospitalized, like I must’ve stayed in the hospital for a long time, like I’d explored the empty halls myself at once point, but I know for certain I have not done any of that in this life. like, 100% certain. I’ve had to ask my parents if I’ve ever been hospitalized before for some checkup or whatever idk but I distinctly remember this bc I was a teen at the time and asked my mom bc I wasn’t sure if me injuring my leg counted as being hospitalized (I injured my leg when I was 10, also didn’t stay in the hospital overnight, don’t remember if I went to a hospital at all or just a doctor’s office?) and she told me about the time I was so dehydrated I passed out, but that was it. so why are hospitals nostalgic to me? no clue!

from what I’ve gathered from my scattered possible past life memories, I think I was a little girl with middle class parents and a nice room, was abused at some point, stayed in the hospital for a long time but no idea why or in what order these events happened, and seemingly died fairly young, like kid to teen age maybe. I kinda wonder if my brain won’t let me access my current-life abuse memories because my spirit remembers what happened last time and doesn’t want all that pain again. I wouldn’t be surprised if I’d killed myself or self harmed enough that it lead to my death, just a hunch that it was either that or my abuser killed me. I hate not remembering but I have to be thankful to my brain for protecting me when it knows I’m not ready to handle the memories :/ sucks I was abused again in this life but at least I get another chance. idk. I’m normally in that state of “not suicidal but zero fear of death” but thinking about how I may have lived an even shittier life that was cut short before this one makes me not wanna mess things up this time :(

finally my delusion giving me a will to live /s

[owengrose]

past special interests that were longstanding ones bc I’m feeling happy nostalgic:

Pandas! When I was in elementary school, I was always checking out books on pandas from the library. Once I’d read all the books about pandas for kids and the books that even tangentially mentioned pandas, I tried the adult ones but they didn’t have the same vibe of “Pandas!!! Yay!!!!!” that kids books did, so I gave up on those. I had a little notebook where I would write down panda facts that fascinated me (did you know that when pandas are born, they’re pink and hairless and blind and about the same size as a stick of butter?????). I wanted to become a zoologist so I could study pandas, then I learned I’d have to study other animals too and i was like hm. no thank you. I still love pandas! My life dream is to hold one. I know they could kill me, but I am convinced in my heart that they would sense that I love them and they would hug me.

Disney lore. Like I would memorize the names of animators and voice actors, I familiarized myself with the timeline of Disney, from the “Golden Age” to now, I had the order of the princesses memorized with the year, I knew the Big Song that was sung by a princess and covered by a different artist and who sung both versions (ex. Lea Salonga sang “Reflection” - she was the singing voice of both Jasmine and Mulan! - and then Christina Aguilera sang the pop cover), and I knew exactly which actors and animators were Disney Legends.

Doctor Who. I wasn’t really into Classic Who, but I would read through the summaries of some of the most notable episodes, I had the order of all the Doctors memorized (Hartnell, Troughton, Pertwee, Baker, Davison, a different Baker, McCoy, McGann, Eccleston, Tennant, Smith, Capaldi, Whittaker, Gatwa - not including any clones or specials or anything like that, these are just the ones who had Official Runs) and memorizing them was very important to me. I used to recite them in order to help myself fall asleep. It didn’t work, but it was soothing.

American Girl dolls. This is an ongoing interest, but it’s faded from a Special Interest to just a regular interest. I read all the books as a kid and always wanted a doll, then got back into it as an adult. I wasn’t intentional about memorizing all the characters (mostly because I already knew the solid majority from childhood) but I was constantly looking at the dolls and their stuff online, imagining how I would arrange sets, and looking at pictures of them. Now it’s a hobby but it is like the entirety of why I use instagram. My doll sideblog is @aroaceaddywalker if you wanna see!

Space! This one was short lived but did become a lifelong appreciation of space. Did you know there might be a planet out just past our solar system that we haven’t been able to prove or disprove, but the idea of it was suggested to explain some strange orbits of other celestial bodies?? Did you know Neptune has RINGS????? I just think space is neat! I am NASA’s target audience :D

[baepsaesbae]

None of Your Business

Pairing— Jung Hoseok x reader  

Genre— SMUT, enemies to lovers au, business/professional life au, slight angst, slight fluff, mutual pining bc im a slut for that

Warnings— inappropriate workplace behavior, explicit unprotected sex, face sitting, slight biting, one (1) butt slap, dirty talk, swearing, switch!Hoseok, Hoseok being a god damn nuisance, (also I’m not a business person so if you are and I state inaccurate/dumb things I apologize in advance)

Word Count— 8.9k

Summary— You have a shot at attaining a huge promotion at your company. The only problem standing in your way is the same one that annoyed you in college. Jung Hoseok. How will you manage to spend an entire weekend at a conference juggling impressing your supervisors while simultaneously battling Hoseok?

A/N— This super cool banner was made by the one and only @kimtaehyunq​, thank you so much! Please let me know what you guys think. Feel free to leave a comment or send an ask! 

The business world has always been mercilessly cutthroat; that’s one of the first things business students learn when they enter college. The competition to get an internship at a top company was fierce. Recruiting has to start at least a year in advance if you even want to give yourself a chance.

Luckily for you, you were the top student in your program. Well, one of the top students. Over the past four years, your position had been flip flopping with some surprisingly competent bonehead who annoyingly plagued your life.

“Excited to be graduating this semester, ___?” an all too familiar voice interrupted your studying.

“Excited to graduate as top of the class? Yes, of course,” you replied coldly. 

“Top of the class? That’s a little presumptuous, don’t you think?” the handsome boy sat on your table.

“I think it’ll be pretty much set in stone after this last final,” you returned your attention to your notes.

“Well, even if you’re number one, I think experience matters a lot in this field,” the boy refused to leave you alone. 

“Then it’s a good thing I did an internship with one of the top companies over the summer,” you glared at him.

“Oh yeah, how could I forget about the internship that you stole from me?” the boy pouted.

“I was obviously more qualified. And how could you say that when you stole my opportunity to go on a study abroad trip with my favorite professor last Spring Break? I’m still furious that he chose you over me solely because you were sleeping with his daughter,” you retorted.

“That was a coincidence! I don’t know how many times I need to tell you that,” he tried to defend himself.

“Whatever. Do me a favor and leave me alone, Hoseok. Hopefully today will be the last time I’ll ever see you.”

“That’s kind of sad to think about. Who else will get under my skin and annoy me every time they open their mouth?” Hoseok bantered, “Also, I told you to call me Hobi.”

“That would imply that we’re on friendly terms. I don’t like lying, Hoseok.”

“Fine. Good luck on that last final. See you around,” Hoseok hopped off the table and patted your head.

“Don’t touch me,” you grumbled as he walked away.

That was five years ago.

The company that you interned with gave you a job offer immediately after graduation. Quickly moving up through the ranks proved to be an easy feat since your tenacious nature made you the ideal employee. 

You were currently waiting outside of the CEO’s office. Seconds felt like hours as you mindlessly bounced your leg. It was eerily silent, and all you could hear were the click clacks of the receptionist’s keyboard as she worked. You looked around at the bleak décor that was a sorry excuse for modernism as you racked your brain. Were you in trouble? Did something happen? You were summoned up for a meeting but had no clue what it was going to be about. 

Once you were finally called in, you were greeted by both the CEO and VP of the company. 

“___, please take a seat,” the CEO politely smiled, “As you know, I am getting old. I am unmarried, so therefore I have no one to oversee the company after I’m gone. The executive council and I have been looking for people to fill my shoes. Or at the very least, take a seat on the executive council if one of them were to take my place.”

“Your numbers have been exceptional this month,” the VP chimed in, “And every month prior. After much deliberation, your name has been cast into the lot.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Being a member of the executive council at your age was almost unheard of.

“There is one other candidate that has also been hand selected at the other branch. You both are to attend a conference in which you will mingle with executives from other companies. There will also be a time in which you will pitch an idea to me on how to make this company better,” the CEO continued when he saw your loss for words.

“First and foremost I would like to thank you for this opportunity. I will do my best to live up to your expectations,” you bowed to show your gratitude. 

“Perfect. The conference is in two weeks. I believe that should give you ample time to prepare your presentation,” the VP shook your hand.

After shaking hands with the CEO, you turned to leave. However, something was nagging you. 

“May I ask who the other candidate is?” you inquired.

“Jung Hoseok from the northern branch,” the VP answered without missing a beat. 

“Ah,” your brain exploded.

“Do you know him?” the CEO asked.

“We went to college together. I know of him,” you said curtly.

“Well you’ll finally get your chance to meet him. I’ve heard he’s very popular with the ladies at his branch. That’s not pertinent to his skills; however, you can’t blame an old man for wanting to know the gossip of his own employees,” the old man chuckled.

“Of course,” you smiled politely as you excused yourself from the office.

Jung Hoseok? That douchebag? Just your luck to run into him again (to fight for the next step in your career no less!). You think back on all the run ins you had with him during your collegiate days. Nothing but irritating memories of the two of you competing for the top spot came to mind. 

Whatever. It didn’t matter who the other candidate was. You had to get to work and come up with a brilliant plan that will impress the CEO. You brushed the thought of Hoseok aside. It had been a couple of years, maybe he wouldn’t even remember you. There’s no need to stress out over something so trivial. 

The weekend of the conference had finally arrived. You were instructed to travel together with Hoseok. You waited alone at the airport terminal. If you were lucky, Hoseok wouldn’t show up at all. You weren’t. 

“___!” Hoseok called out your name in a sing songy voice.

“Hello Hoseok. Glad to see you haven’t changed,” you were already irritated.

“How are you? It’s been so long. You look great!” he went in for a hug but you turned away. 

He stood awkwardly with his arms in the air for a second until he bounced back. He took the seat next to you and began chatting. You answered his list of questions apathetically. 

“Did I do something to offend you?” Hoseok finally asked.

“I just think it’s funny that even after all these years, I still have to compete with you,” you retorted.

“Still hung up on that? It doesn’t even matter anymore. We got good jobs and now we’re here. Together! Isn’t that cool?”

“No, not at all. Although I guess it will be nostalgic coming out on top once again,” you smirked.

“Your competitive nature always amused me. You’re so cute when you lose,” Hoseok teased.

“I never lost to you,” you gasped.

“That’s not what that one study abroad trip with Professor whatshisname says,” he cooed. 

“Professor Namjoon! You knew he was my favorite, you prick. At least I graduated as top of the class with honors,” you argued. 

“My GPA was off by thousandths of a point. That doesn’t really bother me. But I’m glad you have something that makes you happy,” Hoseok shrugged. 

‘This is gonna be one long fucking weekend’, you thought. 

The flight was short and pleasant since Hoseok left you alone. You wanted to see as little of him as possible during this trip. You intended to get that promotion no matter what. 

After the plane landed, the two of you made your way to the hotel that was hosting the conference. 

“Hi, last name ___ and Jung?” you smiled at the hotel concierge. 

“Ah yes, you guys are here for the business conference?” the concierge asked.

“Indeed we are!” Hoseok chimed in from behind you.

“Alrighty, I got you guys all checked in. Enjoy your stay!” the concierge handed you a singular set of keys.

“Oh, I’m sorry, there must be a mistake. We’re in two separate rooms,” you politely tried to hand back the keys.

“The reservation is for a singular suite,” the concierge explained.

“Probably cheaper that way,” Hoseok reasoned while nodding.

Your fake smile faltered for a second. How the hell are you supposed to spend an entire weekend sharing a room with the most despicable person on the planet?

At least the hotel itself was grand. There was no way you’d ever be able to afford to stay in such a swanky place. The lobby was decorated with ornate marble pillars that were laced with gold trimmings. It even had a fancy fountain in the middle to greet incoming guests, which you thought was a bit overkill. 

“Excited to sleep with me, princess?” Hoseok teased, obviously picking up on your annoyance.

“Fuck off. Stay the hell away from my bed and my things,” you spat.

“Who’s to say that you won’t be able to stay away from my bed?” he smirked. 

“You wish,” you rolled your eyes as the elevator finally stopped on the top floor. 

You led the way to your shared suite with Hoseok. The trip was exhausting; you couldn’t wait to take a nap on your large luxurious bed that was probably topped with Egyptian cotton (one can dream). 

You immediately dropped your bags on the side of the room and flopped onto the bed, shutting your eyes. 

“Interesting,” Hoseok said.

You ignored him.

“Very interesting,” he continued. 

“What? What is so interesting?” you sat up and glared at him in frustration.

“Take a quick glance around the room,” he suggested.

Your heart sank, “No fucking way.”

You loved this trope in fanfics, but in real life? Fuck no, not with this asshole. Yes, there was only one luxurious king sized bed in the room. 

“Well, looks like you're going to sleep on the floor,” you smiled sweetly at him.

“The bed is huge, we can definitely share,” Hoseok argued.

“I think the fuck not,” you dropped back onto the bed, “I’m sure you’ll whore your way into someone else’s bed each night anyway.”

“I don’t think I need to, not when I’m already sharing a bed with you,” he flirted.

“Bite me, Hoseok,” you sighed, not in the mood for a tit for tat.

“Are you into that? I’d happily oblige,” he responded as he sat on the other side of the bed.

“I’m afraid that’s confidential information that you are not privy to,” you huffed, turning away from him.

“Are you really going to make me sleep on the floor?” he asked quietly. 

“Would you listen to me if I said I wanted you to?” you were curious to know.

“Look, I’ll admit that I can be an asshole, but I’m not a creep. If you’re really not comfortable with sharing a bed with me I’ll sleep on the floor. All I’d ask of you is to spare me a pillow.”

There was a short silence as you mulled over your options. 

“Fine, we can share the bed. But I demand a pillow divider to be set between us,” you caved.

“Wahoo! Thank you so much for your generosity, ___. Do you want to use the bathroom to get ready for bed first, or shall I?” Hoseok celebrated.

“I’ll get ready first,” you lazily rolled off the bed and trudged to the bathroom.

You were so tired that you missed hearing Hoseok’s soft chuckle as he watched you stumble to the bathroom. He patiently waited for you to finish before it was his turn to get ready for bed. You were sound asleep by the time he was done.

The blankets were haphazardly sprawled out on your side of the bed. One leg was under the covers while the other was completely exposed. Your mouth was agape with a bit of drool seeping out, and your shirt lifted up to expose some of your tummy.

Hoseok smiled at the sight. Never in a million years did he think he’d ever be lucky enough to see you like this. He pulled down your shirt in an attempt to make you look decent, but there was nothing he could do about your drooling. He tucked you into the sheets properly, making sure that the blankets covered you up to your neck.

He settled into his side of the bed. You forgot to put up the pillow divider. Hoseok stared up at the ceiling, unable to sleep. He turned over to face you in an attempt to get comfortable. 

‘She looks so sweet. Almost cute,’ Hoseok thought. 

He quickly brushed the thought aside. You were his rival, and have been since the first day of college years ago. He sat up and created a pillow barrier. Bickering with you first thing in the morning was the last thing he wanted. 

The first day of the conference was filled with attending various meetings while attempting to make as many networking connections as possible. You got up early and left the room before Hoseok was even awake. The less time spent with him, the better. 

Of course, completely avoiding him was impossible. You were to sit with your respective company during the meetings and presentations. The VP sat between you and Hoseok, while the CEO switched between sitting on either side. You were thankful for the separation, but nervous nonetheless.

The CEO would occasionally lean over to ask you questions about the presentations, and he intently listened to your responses. The VP would merely look over occasionally to give you a smile or wink; he acted more like moral support. You knew the entire weekend would practically be an interview, but you underestimated how anxiety inducing it would be. 

The higher ups finally left you alone when lunchtime came around. You picked up your lunch in the hotel’s decadent ballroom that had been turned into an eating area. You scouted an empty table in the far corner of the room in the hopes of finding some peace and quiet.

Hoseok had other plans. He saw you sit down at the table and happily followed you.

“Hey there buddy!” he greeted you as he sat down.

“Shouldn’t you be networking with new people?” you rolled your eyes at him.

“I could ask you the same thing,” he retorted as he took a bite of his sandwich.

“I’ve been doing that since before you were awake. I think I deserve a break,” you replied.

“I forgot that you’re quite the hard worker. I couldn’t have asked for better competition,” he said.

“Was that a compliment?” you asked with an amused grin.

“Yeah, and it’s the only one you’ll ever get from me. Is your pitch to the CEO ready?” Hoseok inquired.

“It has been. And no, I’m not going to tell you what it is,” you proudly answered.

“Oh c’mon! Mine is ready too! You’re a damn fool if you think I’m gonna steal your idea. I’m just curious,” he pouted.

“Fine. I’ll tell you if you tell me yours first,” you offered.

“So distrustful,” Hoseok feigned offense, “Okay, so I think offering higher bonuses for working overtime would be a good start. There could even be competitive bonuses in each department for the person who gets the best numbers that month.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” you said at first, “But don’t you think that would just create more animosity between coworkers?”

“I think competition is a healthy motivation factor. It worked for me in college,” Hoseok defended his idea.

“Everyone is competitive in college. Especially in the business schools,” you argued.

“Yeah, but not everyone is you,” Hoseok stated. 

“Excuse me?”

“Honestly, I probably wouldn’t be here today if you weren’t always on my ass,” he admitted, “Being your rival was kinda fun. You got flustered so easily, it was almost cute.”

“I do not get flustered easily! Plus, it was always you who was on my ass,” you huffed.

“I see that you still do,” Hoseok laughed, “But seriously. The universe brought us together again so I guess it’s telling me to thank you.”

“That’s uncharacteristically nice of you to say,” you looked away from him to hide your reddening cheeks, “You pushed me too, so thanks for that...I guess.”

“Mhm, no problem buddy. I’ll see you in the next presentation room,” he got up to leave.

“Wait Hoseok!” you called after him.

“Yeah?” he turned around quickly.

“I didn’t tell you my idea--”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s brilliant,” he winked before walking away.

The rest of the day passed by quickly. You retired to your room, exhausted from all the forced socialization. Your mind was stuck on what Hoseok said earlier. Maybe he wasn’t as big of an asshole as you thought. Perhaps you mistook a friendly rivalry for toxic competition.

You were sprawled out across the bed in your pjs when Hoseok entered the room.

“Are you gonna sleep like that?” he asked.

“You’re gonna have to forcibly remove me from your side if you want it that badly,” you replied with your eyes still closed. 

“That’s fine,” Hoseok said as he abruptly rolled you over to your side.

“Hey!” you squeaked out in protest.

“It was either that, or I laid on top of you and suffocated you.”

“Hmph,” you let out a displeased noise.

“Oh my god, you’re so bratty. How old are you?” Hoseok chuckled.

“Old enough to know that you’re a meanie,” your response was muffled by the pillow you buried your face in.

“Sorry I’m a what?” Hoseok teased.

“A meanie!” you quickly got up and slammed a pillow into Hoseok, catching him by surprise.

“I’m the meanie? You just pelted me with a pillow!” he cowered away from you.

“And I’ll do it again!” you threatened.

“I don’t think so,” Hoseok suddenly lurched forward, tackling you back onto your side of the bed.

You’re both laughing at this point. Seeing Hoseok up close and personal made you realize how handsome he truly was. Had he always been this attractive? Hoseok’s cheerful laugh echoed throughout the room as he loomed over you, pinning you down.

“I’ll get off if you promise not to hit me with a pillow ever again,” Hoseok tried to say in a serious tone, but his smile betrayed him.

“Sorry, I can’t make such a ridiculous promise,” you sassed.

“God, you really are so bratty. Kinda cute, kinda naughty,” Hoseok tsked.

“There’s nothing you can do about it,” you stuck your tongue out at him.

Hoseok leaned down to whisper in your ear, “Oh, I’m sure there’s something I could do.”

That sent chills down your spine. This was perhaps the most intimate moment you’ve shared with someone in a long time. 

“Keep dreaming then, lover boy,” you said. Truth be told, just that one sentence turned you on, but you couldn’t let him know that.

“As you wish,” Hoseok released you and retreated back to his side of the bed. 

“Maybe you aren’t as big of an asshole as I remembered,” you chuckled.

“You thought I was an asshole?” Hoseok laughed.

“I did. Maybe I still do. Not that it matters, we’ll never see each other again after this stupid conference.”

“That’s not true,” Hoseok disagreed, “I’ll be on the executive council, so you may see me from time to time.”

“I like the confidence. Too bad it’s in vain,” you teased, “I’m going to bed. Our day starts early tomorrow.”

“Our?”

“The. The day starts early tomorrow. Just go to bed Hoseok,” your turned over to conceal the faint smile on your face. Maybe he wasn’t so bad afterall. 

The second day of the conference started off as boring as the previous day. The various presenters droned on about different strategies regarding the improvement of a company with a plethora of charts and numbers to back it all up. The CEO wasn’t as talkative today to either you or Hoseok. The VP still made his reassuring gestures to you, flashing smiles and winks here and there.

“Can I see you privately after the last morning presentation?” the VP whispered to you.

“Yes, of course!” you excitedly answer. Currying the VP’s favor may come in handy later. 

After the last presentation, the VP discreetly led you to a vacant corner. His tone became serious as he began to speak.

“The CEO discussed his initial thoughts with me last night. I know I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but he’s currently leaning towards Hoseok,” he explained.

The news made your heart sink.

“I’d rather see you on the executive council, if I’m being frank. My pride is on the line since I recommended you,” his voice lowered, “However, I think there is a way to sway his opinion.”

“Which is?” you eagerly asked. 

“Someone might overhear here, meet me in my room in an hour,” the VP covertly handed you his room key.

He walked away without another word. The fact that the VP was on your side gave you a faint sliver of hope. The next hour of free time was spent frantically networking while your mind was obviously elsewhere. Every now and then you heard Hoseok’s voice, and just the sound of it spurred you on to make even more connections. By the end of it, your face began to hurt from all the fake smiling. 

You were standing in front of the VP’s hotel room exactly an hour after your secret rendezvous. The door opened immediately after you knocked.

“You’re extremely punctual; that’s wonderful,” the VP observed as you entered, “Make yourself comfortable.”

You scoured the room to find a place to sit. Your uneasiness must have been obvious, as the VP gestured towards the bed.

“Thank you,” you said as you awkwardly sat at the edge of the bed, “What is your plan?”

“It’s quite simple actually,” the VP sat beside you, “I just need to get to know you better. That way I can give an authentic and flawless review to the CEO.”

“So, you’re going to conduct an in-depth interview?” you asked timidly as you noticed him scooting closer to you.

“You could say that,” he voice lowered as he rested his hand on your thigh, “We have about 45 free minutes remaining. I believe you should make the most of this interview, Miss ___,” he smiled slyly as his hand began to travel upwards.

“How dare you?!” you yelled as you abruptly pushed him off of you, “I’m going to report you to HR!”

“Then say goodbye to your promotion. You really think you were chosen just because your numbers have been decent? You definitely were not the CEO’s first choice. He didn’t even know who you were. If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t even be here,” he explained with a shit eating grin. 

“Then why the hell would you even bring me up to the CEO? Just so you could try and sleep with me?” you were enraged.

“Don’t blame me for wanting some eye candy to entertain me during this god awful convention,” he smirked.

“Fuck you, you fucking pig,” you spat.

“Ohhh feisty. I like that in a girl. If you leave now, you can kiss that promotion goodbye,” the VP called out to you as you stormed towards the door.

“And you can kiss my ass, and shove that promotion up yours,” you snapped, flipping him off before slamming the door behind you.

Tears welled in your eyes as you made your way to your room. You were absolutely distraught. Had all your hard work been for nothing? Had you been nothing but a pretty sight for men to stare at for the past five years?

You entered your hotel room to find Hoseok laying on the bed. You quickly wiped away your tears; you hadn’t expected him to be there. He appeared to be taking a nap. You watched his chest rise and fall slowly as you snuck into the bathroom. You freshened yourself up to the best of your abilities. Maybe a little power nap would help calm your nerves. Too bad Hoseok was taking up the bed. Fuck.

You left the bathroom to see if maybe you could curl up in one of the corners of the bed. Luckily, Hoseok was on his side of the bed. You set a timer for half an hour and slowly crawled under the covers. Your eyelids felt heavy as you closed them.

“If you wanted to cuddle you could’ve just let me know,” Hoseok’s voice surprised you.

“Well, I don’t. Leave me alone,” you responded.

“What if I want to cuddle?” he asked.

“There is an abundance of perfectly good pillows for you to use,” you sighed, then sniffled a little.

“Are you sick?” Hoseok asked with a worried tone.

“No, I’m fine,” you answered quickly, panicking. 

“___, what’s wrong?” Hoseok was sitting up now.

“Nothing, leave me alone,” you turned away.

“If you insist, I won’t push it. Just know that you can talk to me if you need to,” he offered.

You heard him get off the bed. You pulled the sheets over your head to hide your face. You cried silently as Hoseok shuffled around the room, presumably getting ready to leave. Suddenly, he pounced on you.

“Hoseok! What the fu--” you cried out as he yanked the sheets off of you.

“Surprise attack!” he gleefully exclaimed. 

His expression quickly changed when he saw your tear streaked face. You looked up at him with puffy eyes. You were too exhausted to hold your cold stare. Instead, you looked away in embarrassment.

“___, what happened?” he asked softly.

“It doesn’t matter. But congrats, you basically got the promotion,” you laughed in defeat.

“You spoke with the CEO?” Hoseok was shocked.

“No, with the VP. That stupid son of a bitch. He--nevermind. I blew my chance, so the job is all yours. I am almost positive that I am unemployed now as well,” the tears returned and you couldn’t stop them.

“Hey, ___, it’s okay,” Hoseok tried to comfort you, “If the CEO didn’t tell you himself, then you can’t be 100% certain.”

“I was literally only invited because the VP tried to get in my pants!” you blurted out.

“What?” Hoseok was dumbfounded.

“He just told me that I’d have the job if I had sex with him. Can you fucking believe that? How long have I not been taken seriously? This has been so demoralizing,” you let it all out.

“Aw, c’mere,” Hoseok pulled you up and gave you a warm embrace, “What did you say to him?”

“I told him to shove it,” you sniffled against his firm chest. 

“There’s the you I know. You haven’t changed a bit,” he chuckled, “We can talk to the CEO together tomorrow about this.”

“Why would you help me? The promotion is basically yours because of this,” you sighed.

“I don’t really care for it, if I’m being honest. I’m satisfied with my job now. I don’t want any more responsibilities,” he answered while stroking your hair. 

“Then why are you here?” you looked up at him.

“I only agreed to come after they told me that you’d be here,” he admitted. 

You didn’t know what to say. Too many things have happened in the past hour alone. 

“Don’t get it twisted, I was just curious to see how you’ve been after all these years. Plus a free trip is always enticing. Getting to share a bed with you has just been an added bonus,” he smiled.

Your timer rang, causing you to break away from Hoseok’s arms. 

“Guess it’s time to go to more boring meetings. Yay,” Hoseok feigned enthusiasm. 

“I’m gonna stay here. There’s no point in me attending anymore,” you stated.

“Nope, you’re going. I’m dragging you with me! You gotta show the VP that he didn’t frazzle you at all. Fuck that guy. Well, not literally,” Hoseok was pulling you out of bed.

Hoseok subtly made sure that you sat between him and the CEO the entire time. You caught him giving the VP dirty looks, which made you feel a little better. 

You quickly excused yourself after the last meeting and tried to make a break for your room. Unfortunately, Hoseok prevented you from doing so. 

“You got a date for the banquet tonight?” he asked.

“No. It shouldn’t be too much of a problem because I’m not going. Have fun with your date though,” you shook your head.

“Who said I had a date?”

“I’m sure women were basically throwing themselves at you.”

“You’re not wrong, but I turned them all down. I have my eyes set on one gal.”

“Lucky her, I guess,” you rolled your eyes.

“Indeed. Although I still gotta ask her,” he looked around the room as if he was searching for her.

“You better hurry. Isn’t it in a couple hours?”

“Yep. Alright, here goes nothing!” Hoseok rushed off, finally giving you the chance to disappear.

You let out a sigh of relief as the elevator doors start to close. However, someone’s hand shot through at the last second. Hoseok stumbled in as the elevator doors reopened. You groaned. Why can’t you escape him?

“Did she say yes?” you asked with an indifferent tone.

“Not sure yet. Will you go to the banquet with me?” Hoseok asked.

“Fuck off.”

“Alright, well she just said no. Ouch,” Hoseok clicked his tongue. 

“Wait, are you being serious?” your eyes widened.

“If the word ‘date’ threw you off, then I’m happy with going as friends,” he proposed. 

“I’m flattered, but I’m really not in the mood to party with random strangers.”

“You don’t have to. Just party with me. Why would I let you be sad and mopey all alone in a hotel room when you could be drinking free booze?”

“Is the alcohol is free?”

“Duh, it’s all being charged to the company. Plus dinner is served.”

“Ok fine, I’ll go. I guess I didn’t pack that stupid dress for nothing.”

“Let’s not allow a gorgeous dress to go to waste,” Hoseok agreed.

“You haven’t even seen it,” you suppressed a smile. 

“Anything can be gorgeous if you’re the one wearing it,” he winked.

“Oh, shut up,” a small smile cracked on your face.

Hoseok was the first to get ready for the banquet. He wanted your look to be a surprise so he insisted on going first. You were beginning to find his weird yet endearing antics kind of cute.

You weren’t prepared when he came out of the bathroom. You were well aware that Hoseok was a handsome guy, maybe even handsome enough to model. However, you weren’t ready when Hoseok emerged in a grey suit with his hair styled to reveal his forehead. His radiance was comparable to that of the sun, and he only shone brighter when he smiled at you. 

“You look good,” you tried to act cool.

“Thank you! I’ll admit I do enjoy dressing up from time to time. But who doesn’t, am I right?” he beamed.

You nodded as you hauled your things into the bathroom. After about an hour, you were ready: fully dressed, makeup done, confidence soaring. You had forgotten how therapeutic dressing up could be. 

Your dress was a deep emerald green that was elegant yet seductive. It had a side slit that flirtatiously showed off one of your legs. The neckline gracefully outlined your cleavage while still remaining on the classy side.

“Holy shit. You look amazing!” Hoseok praised you as soon as you stepped out.

“I was only trying to match you,” you said shyly, trying to hide your flushed cheeks.

“I think it’s safe to say that we’ll be the most breathtaking duo there. Shall we depart?” he extended out an arm.

The dinner started out with boring speeches by people you didn’t care to remember the names of. Hoseok elected to sit at the table furthest away from the stage, which was an excellent choice. That allowed the two of you to chat the night away in hushed voices. You both had already gone through five glasses of wine by the time the speeches were finally over. 

“The dance floor is now open! Enjoy the rest of the night, and don’t forget that there’s an open bar!” the MC shouted through the mic.

The lights dimmed and a disco ball lowered in the center of the room. People began to crowd the dance floor. You laughed with Hoseok as you both observed various awkward shuffles and sways. 

“Wanna dance?” Hoseok yelled over the music.

“I can’t!” you yelled back.

“I’m sure you can! Let’s go!” Hoseok didn’t wait for a reply.

He dragged you to an empty space on the dance floor. The two of you began drawing attention to yourselves as soon as you stepped out. Two beauties were dancing in the open for everyone to see. You shyly swayed to the rhythm of the music and laughed at Hoseok’s silly moves. However, Hoseok began to move in a way that was absolutely bewitching. He looked like a professional dancer with the way he commanded his body to hit every beat. Hoseok had drawn a very large crowd as people began cheering him on. 

You were amazed by his stage presence. You’ve always had a thing for dancers, and he looked downright sexy. The song ended and Hoseok gave his audience a dramatic bow, awarding him deafening applause. 

“I didn’t know you could dance!” you shouted when he returned to your side.

“I like to dance in my free time! Did you like it?” he shouted back.

“I’ll admit it was sexy,” you laughed.

“You think I’m sexy?”

“Maybe I do,” you winked.

You had more fun than you expected while dancing with Hoseok. He made you feel secure, so you were able to let loose. You didn’t care what you looked like, as long as Hoseok was there with you. 

The night progressed and you began to feel bold. A particularly raunchy song came on, as if it were asking you to grind on Hoseok. And that’s exactly what you did. You guided his hands to your hips as you grinded into his crotch

“You sure you wanna be doing that?” Hoseok spoke into your ear with a low voice.

“Absolutely,” you replied.

Hoseok spun you around and gazed at you intimately while he brought you closer into his body. Various body parts were rubbing against each other now. The sexual tension was palpable. 

Hoseok’s hands were running up and down your body, and your mouth was dangerously close to his neck. The scent of his cologne was intoxicating. You couldn’t help yourself; you leaned forward to plant a soft kiss on his neck. His low growl was an indication that he liked it, so you kissed him again with more vigor. 

“You’re going to have to stop,” he scolded.

“Shit, I’m sorry. Did I overstep your boundaries?” you were embarrassed.

“Absolutely not. But I can’t fuck you out here in public now can I?” he towed you off the dance floor and made a beeline for the elevators. 

Thank god no one else was in the elevator, neither of you could keep your paws off of each other. Hoseok’s hands were unabashedly feeling you up and down while his crotch was slowly grinding into yours. Your arms were wrapped around his neck as you planted kisses along his sharp jawline.

Hoseok couldn’t stop whispering naughty things into your ear during the entire elevator trip up to your shared room. His lowered voice sent chills down your spine as he expressed just how eager he was to finally have you. You felt yourself getting wetter by the second.

“I wanted to strip off that dress the moment I saw you wearing it,” he cooed, “God, I can’t wait to see how beautiful you’ll look underneath me.”

“Hoseok, do you ever shut up?” you teased with a coy smile.

“I dunno, you might have to make me,” he played along.

“Maybe sitting on your handsome face will do the trick,” you said as you nipped his ear.

“Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”

The elevator doors finally opened, and Hoseok quickly dragged you out. He immediately tore off your dress the moment the hotel room door was closed. You did him the same favor as you frantically unbuttoned his shirt to reveal his toned body. 

“Why don’t you be a good boy and wait for me on the bed?” you suggested.

“Yes ma’am,” he complied, his eyes never leaving your body.

“Like what you see?” you asked, turning around slowly to fully show off the lingerie that perfectly complimented your body. 

“You are so fucking sexy, ___,” Hoseok smiled in awe.

“I’m so glad you think so. You’re not too bad yourself,” you winked at him.

You finally joined Hoseok on the bed. You kiss his body from his abdomen all the way up his chest before stopping at his mouth. You took a second to relish the feeling of his plush lips against yours before he deepened the kiss with a ferocious intensity. 

“Wanna try and shut me up now?” Hoseok lifted his eyebrows suggestively once the kiss broke.

“With pleasure,” you responded as you began to position yourself above him, “Wait, do you want me to take this off?” you gestured to your undergarments.

“No need,” he said before abruptly pulling aside your panties.

You slowly lowered yourself onto his face and stopped when you felt his breath on your pussy. Hoseok impatiently gripped your hips and pulled you directly onto his tongue. The sudden contact made you gasp. Hoseok didn’t waste any time getting down to business.

He flattened his tongue out to cover as much area as possible as he licked across your folds. He expertly flicked and lapped your pussy in the perfect places. Your legs began to tremble, and you had to grip onto the bed’s headboard for support. 

You looked down to see the beautiful man’s face buried in your pussy; that sight alone was almost enough to bring you over the edge. Hoseok’s hands slithered their way up to your chest, where he began to twist and pull at your sensitive nipples through your bra. 

“You taste--so good,” Hoseok panted out from underneath you.

“Should I get off--fuck!” you were interrupted by Hoseok sucking on your clit.

His mouth was heaven sent. Your body began to heat up and soon you lost the strength to hold yourself up even against the headboard. 

You cried out as you came all over Hoseok’s face. His face was glistening with your juices as he smiled up at you. He seductively licked his lips to taste you again.

“Your turn?” you asked.

“As much as I wanna see your pretty lips wrapped around my cock, I think I need to be inside you more,” he replied as he repositioned himself.

He stripped off the rest of his clothing. You watched with admiration as more of his skin became exposed.

“You can take off the fancy underwear now,” he said once he caught you staring.

“You don’t want to see it anymore?” you fakeed a pout.

“___, you’re drop dead gorgeous in it. However, I advise you to take it off yourself because I won’t hold back. I don’t want to ruin your underwear, just you,” he replied.

Hoseok mixed in little nibbles while he kissed along your neck. Your voice dripped with bliss as you quietly moaned. 

“I guess you do like being bitten, huh? What about this?” Hoseok licked your neck, causing you to squirm underneath him.

“I think I like that too,” you whispered, biting your lip.

You wriggled out of your undergarments, leaving yourself completely naked in front of Hoseok. You pull at the hem of Hoseok’s underwear, eager to see what he was packing.

You were not disappointed. Although he was well endowed, what he lacked in length was made up for in girth. 

“Do you want me to use a condom?” he asked.

“I’m on the pill, and I’m pretty sure I’m clean. I haven’t been intimate in an embarrassingly long amount of time,” you admitted, blushing.

“I find that hard to believe,” Hoseok said while kissing around your face, “Since you’re so damn beautiful,” his lips found yours and led you into a passionate kiss. 

His hips began to grind into yours, his dick rubbing against your bare pussy. You wrapped your legs around him, bringing him closer.

“Please don’t tease me,” you pleaded.

“What are the magic words?” Hoseok teased.

“Fuck me, Hobi,” you begged.

“Oh my fucking god,” he growled.

He slammed his hips into yours, not giving you enough time to adjust to him. The stretch was intense at first, but it soon turned into nothing but pleasure. Your euphoria grew as he rhythmically bucked his hips into you. 

Hoseok spread your legs out as wide as you could go, giving him quite the erotic view that only aroused him more. You tried to stifle your moans, but were failing miserably.

“Don’t hold back baby, let me hear you. Show me how good I make you feel,” he leaned over to whisper into your ear. 

You complied instantly, your moans resounding around the room. Hoseok’s position allowed him to hit you deeply with every stroke. Without a word, he pulled out of you and flipped you over onto your knees. He roughly forced your chest down, leaving your ass in the air for him.

“Your ass is so fucking fat,” he said as his hand connected with your bare skin, causing you to shriek.

He kissed it afterward while his fingers teased your clit. He realigned himself with your entrance. This new position was even better than the last. You could no longer hold in your moans even if you wanted to. Hoseok repeatedly hit your g-spot, and you could feel another orgasm welling up within you.

“Hobi, I’m gonna cum,” you cry out.

“Say that again,” he demanded.

“I-i’m gonna cum!”

“No, not that. That’s hot but call me Hobi again,” he chuckled.

“Hobi!” you said with an exasperated tone.

“Yes princess? Fuck, I’m close,” Hoseok’s movements were becoming more haphazard by the second.

“Hobi, right there oh my god keep going please,” you begged, “Hobi...ah shit!” you came undone.

It wasn’t long after until Hoseok followed suit, pulling out to cum all over your ass. He rolled off the bed to get something to clean you up with. 

“How are you feeling?” Hoseok asked.

“Better. You?” you answered.

“Doing pretty well. I fucked the girl of my dreams,” he said gleefully.

“Shut up,” you playfully pushed him.

“I’m serious. I’ve adored you since college. I lived for your playful banter,” he began to explain.

“It wasn’t playful,” you interjected.

“Yeah, I know. But that’s what made it fun! All the other girls just wanted to be with me for my looks or whatever. None of them knew the real me.”

“And I did?”

“More so than most. You always pushed me to do my best. I really just wanted to be good enough for you. Kind of silly huh? I even dated that girl in an attempt to make you jealous. Which backfired since her dad was Professor whatshisface who took me on that trip,” Hoseok opened up.

“Hobi I...I’m so sorry. I was such a bitch to you back then. And now too I guess. My competitive side gets the better of me. I was always annoyed by how you were seemingly good at everything. It even irritated me that you’re the most handsome man I’ve ever seen in my life,” you began to apologize, “Oh, and his name is Namjoon. Professor Namjoon.”

“Thanks for reminding me. I hate to admit it but he made me a little jealous. I wanted you to praise me the way you praised him. Anyway, things can change now that everything's out in the open,” Hoseok smiled, “You’re even calling me Hobi! I’ve been dreaming about this moment.”

“Was it everything you ever hoped for?” you joked.

“You said it when you asked me to fuck you, then you said it multiple times while I was balls deep inside of you. So yeah, I would say it was everything I could’ve hoped for, if not more,” he pulled you into his chest.

The two of you continued talking for what felt like hours while cuddling. You hadn’t been this relaxed in ages. You were nearly asleep on his chest when he stroked a strand of hair from your face. 

“Tomorrow will be interesting, huh?” he said softly.

“I guess I still have to pitch my idea to the CEO,” you sighed softly, “What a waste of time.”

“It’s not a waste of time if you’re gonna get the promotion,” Hoseok reprimanded.

“I already told you, I’m not. The VP will make sure that you get it. This is good for you. Don’t worry about me,” you kissed his cheek, “We should get some sleep now.”

“Alright. Goodnight, ___,” he kissed your forehead.

“Goodnight Hobi.”

“Fuck, I really love when you say that.”

It was time. Time to pitch your idea to the CEO for no damn reason. You were beyond nervous, and Hoseok could tell. He tried to ease your nerves by giving you a firm shoulder massage as you both waited to be called into a small conference room.

The VP emerged, ignoring your mean scowl, and called Hoseok in to present first. Of course he would go first, no need to waste time hearing your proposal.

It was an anxiety riddled wait. You recounted the previous day’s events, which was a mistake because that only infuriated you. The whole situation was an affront on your character, and you will not stand for it. You debated giving the VP another piece of your mind at the end of everything. 

“___, you’re up,” the VP called you after Hobi finished.

“You’re gonna kill it,” Hobi encouraged you, coupled with a pat on the back.

“This is pointless and you know that,” you sighed.

Hobi shook his head in disagreement. It was heartwarming to see how supportive he was being. Maybe it was due to the fact that the job was practically his already. It doesn’t matter now. 

“Good morning gentlemen,” you greet them.

“The floor is yours, Miss ___,” the CEO responded cordially.

“I’ll keep it short and simple. I propose that the best way to improve the company is to shorten work day hours and increase PTO days,” you said confidently.

“Is that it? Can you expound on that?” the VP cynically asked. 

“Yes, I’m so glad you asked,” you smiled coldly, “Studies show that employees are exponentially more productive when they are happier. Not only will the company become more efficient, but the overall company atmosphere will become more positive. Interpersonal relationships between employees and bosses will improve in an appropriate professional manner,” you glared at the VP.

“That’s a very interesting take,” the CEO said thoughtfully, “Do you have any suggestions regarding the actual work that the company does?”

“No sir. The company has been thriving, so I believe that the way things are running now are proficient. However, as a company, we should always be willing to listen to our employees’ concerns,” you stated.

“You’ve brought up interesting points to the table. As an employee, do you have any concerns you’d like to express?” the CEO asked.

“There is one pressing matter that comes to mind,” you stole a glance at the VP to see him shift uncomfortably in his seat, “I firmly expect that employee/supervisor relationships should be strictly professional.”

“Are you just giving us your opinion on office romances?” the VP sneered.

“I believe that trying to use intimacy as leverage is highly immoral, if not a fireable offense,” you held your ground.

“Of course,” the CEO agreed.

“Then said employee would simply need to file a complaint with HR,” the VP dismissed you.

“What better way to get my complaint heard than speaking directly to the CEO?” you smiled sweetly, “Sir, yesterday the man sitting beside you crudely suggested that I sleep with him in order to gain the promotion. He also alluded that all of my accomplishments are for naught, and that I am purely ‘eye candy’.”

“Is this true?” the CEO asked his VP in dismay.

“Of course not. She’s grasping at straws. Look how desperate she is to get the job,” the VP quickly defended himself.

“I am not lying. I am fully prepared to be fired on the spot. I cannot continue to work at a company that allows this kind of sloppy behavior to go unpunished. Thank you for your time,” you bowed and quickly took your leave.

You released a huge sigh as soon as you were outside of the room. Hobi rushed over to your side. Suddenly, you began to laugh hysterically. Hobi looked at you nervously, obviously concerned about your mental state.

“Isn’t it so funny? All my hard work had just been flushed down the toilet by a stupid man drunk on power. I love that!” you wheezed.

“___, ___ calm down. What happened?” Hobi inquired. 

You told him what just went down. A smile crept across his face as you got to the part where you put the VP on the spot. 

“I wouldn’t count yourself out just yet dude,” Hoseok shrugged, “All we can do is wait.”

“Yeah, I’ll be the first one to congratulate you on your new job. Then I’ll begin my search for a new one,” you gave him a thumbs up.

The VP stumbled out of the room and angrily stomped towards the both of you.

“You fucking bitch! Who do you think you are? Do you even know what you’ve done? I know people. I’m gonna make sure your life is hell!” he yelled at you.

“That’s enough! You have been dismissed. I do not want to see your face around here again. Clean out your office on Monday,” the CEO ordered, “Would the both of you please follow me back into the room?”

You both timidly followed him, curious as to what he had to say.

“I apologize on behalf of the company for this incident. This isn’t the first time a complaint has been filed against him. Unfortunately, he always told me that they were just futile grasps for leverage and I foolishly believed him. However, his loss is your gain,” he smiled, “How would you like to be my new Vice President?”

You were agog. Hoseok’s eyes widened as he stood beside you.

“Surely there are more qualified people,” you stammered in disbelief.

“There definitely are. But none of them are what this company needs. It takes a special person to have their rival pitch all the reasons why you are a better candidate than they are,” the CEO happily nodded.

“I- he what?” you cast a surprised look at Hobi.

“Oh yes. He spent all his time highlighting your best qualities as an employee. It was quite a shock,” the CEO smiled.

“I will humbly accept your offer. Thank you so much sir, I will work even harder!” you bowed gratefully.

“That brings me to Mr. Jung. The position on the executive council is yours, if you want it,” the CEO offered.

“If the offer is unopposed, then I have no choice but to accept. I will do my best!” Hobi joined in your bowing. 

“Wonderful! It’ll be refreshing to see some lively young faces at those atrocious meetings,” the CEO laughed, “Oh, and one more thing. The two of you will have to relocate to the main branch, I hope that’s okay. I look forward to working with both of you.”

You both nodded gleefully. After the CEO dismissed the pair of you, the trip back up to your hotel room was nothing but joyous. It was like you were in a dream that you never wanted to wake up from. You even pinched each other to make sure it was all real. 

“I can’t believe you were advocating for me,” you hugged him.

“You deserve it. Your impressive diligence should not go unrewarded,” he squeezed you tighter, “Plus, this ended up being pretty sweet! Congratulations to both of us!”

“We need to go out to celebrate!” you wiggled.

“Yes! Let me take you out,” Hobi tackled you onto the bed.

“Where shall we go?” you playfully ask.

“Maybe we should go explore our new city together?” he suggested.

“Our?”

“Yes, our. And when I say I’m gonna take you out, I mean as a date. Because I want to date you. And have been wanting to for years,” Hoseok charismatically emphasized.

“I’m looking forward to starting this new chapter of my life with you then, Mr. Jung Hoseok,” you press your forehead against his. 

“Imma be all up in your bidness girl,” he joked.

“Your business is my business now loser,” you teased back. 

Looks like all that hard work had paid off, and there’s no better reward than finally being with Jung Hoseok.  

Published May 13, 2021. No editing, copying, translating, or reposting allowed. All Rights Reserved © 2021 Baepsaesbae.

[unbridgeabledistances]

okayyy so i had something heavier/hurt-comforty in the works as a gapfiller about mickey processing (bc we all need that!!!) but this fluffy little 3+1 about ian and mickey singing to each other happened instead— i hope u enjoy💞

a 3+1 of 3 times ian sang to mickey, and one time mickey sang to ian (to give context to the absolutely wild 11x09 serenade)

also the biggest shoutout to @southside-forever’s 80s gallavich playlist which has SO many bops and inspired bits of this😌

--

1.

Mickey didn’t really know when it all started— Ian was always fucking humming these days, always whistling or singing some tune under his breath when he came out of the shower. He was more buoyant recently, lighter— the security gig was going well, and these days it felt like something looming and heavy had lifted, releasing the crooked hunch out of Ian’s shoulders that had taken root the sour morning weeks before as he shoveled Fruit Loops and Jameson into his mouth. Since then, it felt like he and Ian were finally on the same goddamn page for once— like they had a purpose, like they were moving forward.

Or at least, moving forward on the weekdays— but today was a slow, lazy Saturday, and Mickey was still laying in bed in a tank top and boxers, sweaty and entangled in the crumpled sheets, laying back with his head on the pillow and playing some overly-gory sharpshooter game on his phone. He’d been trying to beat this fucking level a million times, but his thumb couldn’t move quickly enough at the pivotal moment when he had to shoot a bunch of enemy forces— he’d been at the game for a good half hour, since when Ian had sleepily stumbled off of the mattress sporting a full bedhead to go take a shower, and Mickey was starting to get a tinny, sharp headache from staring at his phone screen for too long. He was just starting to consider getting up, to peel off his sweaty tank top and head downstairs to grab some coffee— when Ian came into the room from his shower, a fraying towel wrapped around his lower half and his torso slick with excess water droplets. Mickey flickered his eyes up from his game for a moment, taking an… appreciative glance, and then quickly focused his attention back on his pixelated mission as Ian stood in front of the dresser in the cramped bedroom, and started to rustle through the drawers for a t-shirt.

Mickey maneuvered his buff video game avatar through a minefield, biting his lip in concentration— when his sharp focus was suddenly infiltrated by Ian, singing under his breath in an airy tone.

“Ooooooh we’re halfway there.”

Mickey gritted his teeth slightly and tried to pour all his attention into the pivotal moment of the level, but half of his mind was being pulled to listen to Ian’s gravelly voice, continuing to softly murmur to himself in a tone that was ridiculously off-key.

“She says we’ve gotta hoooold on, to what we’ve got—”

Mickey’s phone screen flickered. GAME OVER.

Mickey wanted to throw his phone at the fucking wall. He inhaled, then pressed “Start Game” again, one last time— and again, his focus was disrupted by Ian, singing under his breath as he pulled on his jeans and gently pattered his hands in a rhythm on the top of the dresser— which was endearing and sappy as fuck, sure, but it was not helping Mickey with the task at hand. Mickey puffed out a sharp, frustrated breath, keeping his eyes on his phone screen.

“The fuck are you singing for right now?”

Ian suddenly gave a sheepish smile over his shoulder as he rifled through their sock drawer, like he’d been caught in the middle of doing something wrong.

“Don’t know. Song was just stuck in my head I guess.”

Mickey glared at Ian, pressing his thumb to the screen to pause his game. “Cut that shit out.”

Ian rolled his eyes fondly, sitting on the edge of the mattress to pull on his socks. “You should be thanking me for serenading you with your fucking eighties dad music. I could be singing Carly Rae Jepson right now, or some other pop bullshit that you hate.”

Mickey felt an involuntary, amused smirk split onto his face, and he tried to turn it into a scowl. Fucking adorable motherfucker.

“Okay, tough guy. If anything you should be thanking me for cleansing your ears from the techno garbage that you used to listen to.”

Ian gave a soft smile, shoulders turning fully towards Mickey now that he’d finished pulling on his socks— and then he turned and clambered into the bed, hovering above Mickey and causing Mickey’s fingers to go slack around his phone case. Mickey could smell the warm, freshly-showered scent of him, all cheap bar soap and Old Spice deodorant, and felt the soft press of his t-shirt through Mickey’s thin tank top— an overly worn t-shirt, one of Mickey’s, that stretched just a little too tight over Ian’s torso.

Ian looked down at Mickey, fucking beaming for some reason, his eyes light. He swooped down, pressing a soft, quick kiss above Mickey’s eyebrow. And then—

“Take my haaaand, we’ll make it I sweeear”

Mickey felt an involuntary, uncomfortable chuckle bubble up out of his ribcage. Was Ian fucking… singing? To him? It definitely seemed like it. And as much as he didn’t want it to, because this was fucking sappy and ridiculous and… well, gay— Mickey couldn’t help the fact that his husband leaning over him, breathily singing the tune of one of their goddamn wedding songs in his husky tone-deaf voice, made Mickey’s blood run a little bit hotter; which was bullshit, because absolutely nothing about this should be hot, and it was probably the most disgustingly married thing that Mickey could think of— but apparently everything about Ian, every dorky and fucking god-awful cringey thing that he did, was a turn-on, or at least according to Mickey’s thudding heartbeat and sweaty palms right now.

Ian’s face was still hovering centimeters above his, his eyebrows raised triumphantly and sporting a sappy fucking grin, like he knew how affected Mickey was by this, no matter how much Mickey grumbled and complained and tried to hide it.

Mickey rolled his eyes. “You’re fucking soft, Gallagher.”

Ian just leaned down again, kissing up the slope of Mickey’s neck and biting at his earlobe—and, okay, maybe Mickey could get behind Ian’s singing after all.

 2.

Ian’s singing was starting to get fucking ridiculous— and as much as it made something deep inside Mickey feel a light pang of relief, to see Ian being his old bubbly self again in the rhythms of routine and held by the safety net of financial stability because of the security gig that made the air between them less stale, it also meant that they were also around each other pretty much 24/7, and Ian’s serenades were starting to get relentless.

While they pretty much had a common ground in liking nostalgic 80s music, they would still inevitably argue about what music to play in the ambulance every morning— and whatever shitty album they eventually chose to put on, whether it was Ian’s pop garbage of Mickey’s mellower 80s tunes, Ian’s brain would apparently absorb all the songs like a fucking sponge and he’d start singing them all day long—in the kitchen, in the shower, even when they were just laying in bed on their phones and Ian would constantly hum absentmindedly.

Today they were driving to some bougie dispensary in Glencoe, near a bunch of ridiculous mansions on the very outskirts of the city, and it was Ian’s turn to pick the music— Mickey usually elected one of the well-loved CDs that he’d jammed into the glove compartment as they were refurbishing the ambulance, CDs that he’d kept since he was a kid when he piled them high in the corner of his grimy room next to a half-broken boombox— but as much as they were Mickey’s comfort CDs, Ian could only listen to Bon Jovi so many times before he started to slander 80s music as a collective genre.

“Can we just listen to something by someone who isn’t older than us, just this once?”

“Easy for you to say, Gallagher. At least the music that I like has fucking words.”

When it was Ian’s turn to pick the music, he usually picked more modern stuff with heavy beats and a thrumming bass (though more often than not he also appeased Mickey’s tastes with some “80s throwback” playlist he’d found on Spotify that he’d noticed Mickey would bob his head along to)—but on longer drives, like this one, it was easy to butt heads about the soundtrack. Ian had allowed Mickey to play through one of his Queen CDs that morning, and then Ian had put on some whiny indie bullshit from a playlist on his phone for the other half of the drive— now they were heading home after a long day, with the stereo turned low to a local radio station.

They’d settled into a comfortable silence, as they often did at the end of the day when their energy faded— Ian had stopped pattering his hands on the steering wheel like he usually did when he was amped up and buzzing with energy in the mornings, and Mickey could tell they were both ready to collapse onto the couch the second they set foot in the door.

Mickey blew out a deflated breath and reached to turn up the radio, tuning in to some middle-aged host with a cheery voice chattering about the heat wave in Chicago that upcoming weekend—and then the airwaves went silent, and there was the overdramatic sound of a slamming door and a gospel choir.

Ian’s ears nearly fucking perked up at the sound as the opening chords began.

“Life is a mystery… Everyone must stand alone…”

Ian immediately raised his voice to join in, the tired slouch leaving his shoulders.

“I hear you call my naaaame”

He turned to Mickey and pointed overdramatically, causing Mickey to shove his arm away but unable to quell the overly fond grin that he knew was blooming on his face.

“And it feels like… home.”

The beat dropped, rolling into the chorus, and Ian energetically drummed his hands against the steering wheel once more.

“C’mon, Mick!” Ian laughed, throwing his head back dramatically as he sang while still trying to keep his eyes on the road.

“When you call my name, it’s like a little prayer, I’m down on my knees, I wanna take you there.” Ian’s pitchiness clashed with the melody, but he was too focused on singing and bopping side to side in this seat to really care.

Mickey rolled his eyes, his lips still turned upwards at the corners while he watched his absolute dork of a husband jamming to Madonna. “Isn’t this song about giving someone a blowjob or some shit?”

Ian gave an easygoing laugh. “Technically, yes. And it’s also definitionally a gay anthem, which means you have to sing with me.”

Mickey scoffed and flipped Ian off. “Fuck off.”

Ian raised a playful eyebrow, and continued to sing with relentless eye contact:

“It’s like a dreeeeam, no end and no beginning”

Mickey felt heat rise into his cheeks against his will. No fucking way was he going to sing a Madonna song about a blowjob stone-cold sober at 2pm on a Tuesday while driving home from work with his fucking husband—which, wow, that was probably the gayest sentence that had ever crossed Mickey’s mind in his 26 years of existence (which was definitely saying a lot).

This wasn’t ever a place Mickey thought he’d be in— sitting beside Ian so comfortably, singing fucking songs while they drove home from their daily commute; getting to soak up all the warmth, all the brightness that had always radiated out of Ian so intensely that it nearly blinded him, a warmth that he’d always wanted to lean in closer to even when they were just scrawny kids in a shitty neighborhood still figuring everything out.

Maybe, just maybe— it was okay to lean in a little more.

By the time the chorus rolled around the third time, Mickey was begrudgingly humming along, like he usually did whenever the songs that Ian was singing on and endless loop got stuck in his own head and popped up while he was brushing his teeth or making toast for breakfast— by the time the final rhythmic chorus faded to silence on the radio waves, Mickey glanced over at Ian, singing at the top of his lungs, face slightly flushed and grinning ear to ear.

“Just like a prayer, your voice can take me there.”

3.

Ian and Mickey were walking down the moonlit sidewalk, veering back home after an evening at Lip’s— the night had honestly been weirdly enjoyable, which was definitely a welcome reprieve from all of Lip and Debbie’s intense back-and-forths about the house over the past few weeks. Tami and Lip had needed to go over to Brad and Cami’s for some bullshit crisis management about the stolen bikes, and Ian had readily agreed to watch Freddie— which meant that whether he liked it or not, Mickey had spent his Friday evening at Lip’s half-packed apartment watching Ian coo over a one-year-old, which was… not a totally unwelcome sight.

Trying to keep his shit together, Mickey had snapped a picture to send to the Gallagher family group chat, and everyone had immediately given them shit about being so eager to babysit and get their hands on a toddler like a couple of baby-crazed newlyweds—which had caused Mickey to start overzealously complaining in the groupchat to compensate while Ian occupied Freddie. Kev had noticed the texts and swung by Lip and Tami’s house after closing the Alibi to keep the two of them company, bringing by a pack of beers—and now he and Ian were warm and happily buzzed, relieved of their babysitting duties and walking the chilly city streets back towards the Gallagher house.

Halfway through the walk Ian had interlaced their fingers, and now their arms were swinging slightly as they turned the final corner to walk down the last stretch of pavement towards the chain-link fence—when suddenly, Ian stopped cold a few houses away from the Gallagher front porch. He looked down at Mickey, raising their entangled hands and pressing a kiss to the inside of Mickey’s wrist.

Mickey raised an eyebrow in confusion, and Ian just looked back at him—his cheeks glowing pink from the few beers, his eyes light and unguarded under the streetlamps.

“This spot reminded me of something.”

Mickey rolled his eyes. Of fucking course it did. Ian was a sappy motherfucker on the best of days, but with a couple of beers in him he was practically uncontrollable.

“What?”

All of a sudden Ian let go of his hand, punching into the air dramatically.

“Cause love is a battlefiiiield”

Mickey laughed, feeling warm hot blood rush to his cheeks in delight—and fuck, he loved his husband so goddamn much. And just this once, mostly because of the own alcohol running thick in his bloodstream, Mickey made the lurching decision to join in, stepping closer towards Ian and raising his hands equally as dramatically.

“No promises, no demands”

“Woooooah”

Ian had practically doubled over with laughter, tears welling in the corner of his eyes—and Mickey let himself get lost in it, the warm feeling buzzing through his body, of love and joy and fuck knows what else, getting to sing on a fucking street corner with his husband a decade after everything had gone so gut-wrenchingly wrong, leaving him bleeding on this same pavement.

They stumbled over their own feet up the stairs, fumbling out of their clothes and collapsing into bed—and later, just as Mickey was on the brink of fading into unconsciousness, Ian mumbled the same refrain into the crook of Mickey’s neck in a sleepy voice, like the song was still stuck in his head and he just couldn’t help it.

“Love is a battlefield.”

4.

It was late— it was one of those slow, tender nights when the past was hanging heavy over them, laying pressed together in bed as thin streams of moonlight poured in through the blinds, pressing whispers into each other’s skin about all of the hurt and the doubt that had been seeped up and healed with time.

Ian was sprawled back on the bed and Mickey was laying with his head resting on his chest, feeling his ribcage expand and contract each time he took a breath. They’d absorbed so much the past few weeks— the sick, twisted blows of a loss that felt all the more jagged and painful because of how muddled the grief for Terry was—but after a few days had passed they’d found a place to settle, in the comforting press of the silence in their bedroom.

Mickey was mindlessly playing with Ian’s fingers, listening to his steady breathing—and without thinking, he ran a finger over the cool silver of Ian’s wedding band, letting out a breathy chuckle.

“I still can’t believe we’re married sometimes, man.”

Mickey could feel Ian’s lips curve upward into a smile from where his mouth was pressed against the top of Mickey’s head.

“Yeah, me either.”

And Mickey felt something bubbling, something welling— and he didn’t ever fucking sing, not unless Ian made him, but Ian was always fucking dropping song lines into sappy moments like this.

So he took a breath, and, half-singing but mostly talking, in a way that sounded almost mocking if it wasn’t so soft around the edges, he let out into the dark silence of the room:

“At last….”

He wasn’t even singing, not really—he was just sort of… saying the words in a singsongy way, but he knew that Ian could tell what he was doing, what he was trying to do. He was trying to be as fucking sweet and soft and pliant as Ian was, as Ian always was in moments like this, in a way that sometimes made Mickey feel brittle and hard in comparison. This time, Mickey wanted to breathe out the love he had for him into this moment, the love that made his ribcage feel like it was going to fucking burst— a love that he felt erupting outwards when Ian had played this song for him for the first time a few weeks before the wedding, and had asked with a shy smile, “D’you think it’d be okay if you walked down the aisle to this song?”

Ian’s chest shook with laughter, and he carded a hand through Mickey’s hair. And then, in his gentle, sleep-soft voice, in a breathy tone that tickled the shell of Mickey’s ear:

“My looove has come along”

Mickey rolled his eyes fondly, just to prove something to himself, even though he knew Ian couldn’t see him—and then he reached a hand upward and leaned back, drawing Ian’s chin forward to press his lips to his for a brief, lingering moment.

Mickey settled back against Ian’s chest again, and felt Ian press a kiss to the top of his head. He smiled contentedly, closing his heavy eyelids.

Maybe being a couple of sappy motherfuckers wasn’t so bad.

[iwadori]

Hiiii can i request prompt 53 with tsukki? My annoying cousin u may know @chibiiichan(i cant tag her its a surprise) recommend ur account and well she never been right more than now I LIKE UR ACC TOO URM JUST TAG HER IN THE POST (bcs its actually her birthday next week monday so....the least i could do this bcs she likes tsukki and shes recently talk abt the iwazumi story of yours....lmao shes cringe but in the same time got mad n i was besides her hearing her whining like bruh 'its 1 am'...i know i should buy something for her but she got spoiled enough 💅...that mf-) thank you ✨

‘ALWAYS AND FOREVER’

TSUKISHIMA X READER

2K WORDS

GENRE: ANGST,FLUFF

TW: SLIGHT AMBIGIOUS MENTION OF SUICIDE/ASSISTED DEATH, AND DEATH, CURSING (IN MY A/N)

THIS IS FOR @chibiiichann Happy birthday, I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS (BECAUSE I HATE IT :D ) SOOOOO YEAH I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR BIRTHDAY.

NOT PROOFREAD AT ALL. EXPECT SLIGHT MISTAKES

You were dying. You knew it. Your husband, Kei, knew it. Even friends you haven’t spoken too since high school knew it.

So why did you all pretend that everything was okay?

5 year old Y/N:

You were running around your neighbourhood park chasing after butterflies, without a care in the world. As you were frollicing in the grass, you manage to trip over a rock tumbling to the ground scraping your knee making it bleed. Looking down at your slightly injured knee, your lip begins to quiver which eventually leads to wails of tears streaming down your face.

“you don’t have to cry you know?” said a slightly quiet voice towering over you. Above you was a boy, quite tall with a fat pair of glasses, golden eyes and a head full of blonde locks.

“Well when I get hurt, I cry” you say matter oh factly (is that the phrase?) rubbing your nose as you sniffle. He held out a hand to you, which you immediately took shooting upwards and brushing yourself off.  

The boy, after looking at you wildly, turns around and walks back to the actual park. “Oi wait,” you call at the boy swiftly following him “aren’t you going to ask my name?”

“no.” he says simply, proceeding to walk ahead.

“well my names Y/N L/N pleasure to meet you,” you say jumping in front of him so he doesn’t move, waiting for him to tell you his name...which he doesn’t. “you don’t have to be so rude you know”  

“I’m not being rude” he says stiffly “ it’s just my brother says not to speak to strangers” a smirk appears on his face to say ‘you can leave me alone now.’  

As if on cue, his brother approaches the both of you given the boy a slap on the back making him cringe “Hey Kei, who’s the friend you’ve made here?”  

“My name is Y/N L/N and I'm here to be KEI’s best friend!” you said putting the emphasis on the word Kei after just learning that was the blondes name.  

Kei rolled his eyes and sighed saying “nii-chan can we go home now” he folded his arms in annoyance.

“No Kei, you’ve got to get to know your new found friend Y/N-Chan right?” his brother said teasingly, knowing it was the last thing Kei wanted to do.

“Yes ofcourse!” you say with a toothy grin, dragging Kei along with you to his demise.

Until the sun went down, you spent the rest of your time with Kei getting to know eachother (well him getting to know you more, since you did all the speaking.) Regardless of his previous annoyance in getting to know you in the first place, Kei would be lying if he said he didn’t want to know you now.

As the sun was setting, Kei’s older brother (who’s name you learned was Akiteru) called him to tell him he had to go home because dinner was ready. Before he left, you grabbed his hand and wrapped your pinky finger around his saying “As long as we shall live, we will always look out for eachother as we are forever bestfriends, agreed?”

back to present -  

In some odd way, this was Kei’s way of looking out for you. He knew what you had was uncurable and would weaken you even more as the days go by, so pretending like nothing was wrong seemed to be best in his eyes.  

Everything you and Kei did was a game or some nostalgic act that you once did when you were children. It was sweet to say the least, seeing Kei all engrossed and determined to make you happy.  

Your alarm rings snapping you out of you daydream, ‘it was time for medicine’ you thought with your face scowling at the thought. Immediately on time, as always, Kei comes In the room with all your medicine thats needed.

“Aren’t you my perfect little nurse Kei” you say teasingly giving him a wink, laughing as you see his face turn red.

“Do you have to do this every time y/n?” he asks rolling his eyes at your childish behaviour.

“Oh I'm just showing love to my best and favourite nurse” you continue laughing at your own words

“Im your only ‘nurse’” he deadpans giving you your medicine as you talk.

“Well that is more reason to make you the best nurse.” you say smiling.

Silence falls between you, and you stare down at your arm watching as your husband gives you the medicine making you frown. “Do we have to keep doing this?” you ask which is probably the 1000th time you’ve asked.

“Of course we do Y/N as I’ve said yesterday and the day before that and the day before that it-”

“But do we really?” you interrupt “I can’t keep doing this. You can’t keep doing this.”

“Do you doubt me Y/N, I can do this forever” he says “ I can take care of you forever”

“But I don’t wan-”

“I’m finished, I’m going to start on dinner” he gets up and leaves the room yelling “I’ll call you when it’s done.”

Sometimes you and Kei have these conversations. And all the time it ends the same way. You complain, he ignores and then you go and have dinner.

You can understand why he doesn’t want to have this conversation. Who would want to hear about their partners complaints about practically being alive. Kei was torn, ever since he met you all he wanted to was to keep you happy. But could he compromise his own happiness for it.

15 year old Y/N - flashback

“Kei Kei, aren’t you excited!” you yell smiling widley

“Excited for what?” he asks, amused by your enthusiasm “it’s just highschool.”

“Well it’s a new highschool! Karasuno high school, to be exact.”

“And that is still just a school.” he says

“Not just any! That’s the school nii-chan went too, and even tho he lie-”

“Let’s not talk about it Y/N” he murmurs “we should go now, don’t want to be late on our first date.”

Going to Karasuno was fun, at the start everyone was pleasant and nice. But after a week or two when you and Kei were still stuck to eachother like glue, people weren’t so pleasant. Kei was like a pop idol, being gorgeous and over 6ft at just the age of 15, caused alot of attention, especially when he was always around you.

At the start, the hate you got was bearable, it was the petty bitchy notes in your locker or just people blatanly talking badly about you infront of you. People didn’t do it when you weren’t around Kei, so when he had volleyball practice (which you were so excited that he joined the team) you were a big target for the bullies to come around.

Kei didn’t really know of the bullying that happened towards you, especially since he was mainly in practice or not around when it happened. But one day in practice he heard some of his teammates, kageyama and hinata who seemed to talking about a student in one of their classes that was always getting picked on by the other girls in the year.

“Yeah and I heard that Nana-san was planning on getting her and her friends to attack Y/N-san soon.”  said Hinata

“Shrimpy, who are they planning on attacking?” Kei asks to make sure he just heard the ginger correctly.

“Oh this lovely person in our class their name is Y/N-san” he says, looking at Kei’s reaction he also asks “Why? Do you know them?”  

Kei doesn’t respond, and immediately leaves the gym, ignoring Hinata’s and the other members of the teams yells of ‘Where are you going tsukishima.’ He didn’t care, he just had to get to you.  

He searched all the classes, asking every student if he knew where you were. Someone directs him to the toilets, where he burst through the door to see the other girls in your year surrounding you and beating you up.  

“What the fuck are you doing to them?” he yells startling the girls.

“T-T-Tsukishima-san" one girl says “It’s not what it looks like.”

“Oh fuck off” he says, with them still frozen in shock “I said go!”  

“And don’t think I don’t know your names either” he calls after them.

He rushes towards your bruised body on the ground and cradles you gently, confused on what to really do. “Oi Kei,” you say weakly catching his attention “I would’ve won if you didn’t come to stop the fight.” you joke making him scoff.

“Whatever you say Y/N.”

After you heal up, Kei already told on the girls that beat you up getting them suspended, and you explain how they were treating you because of their infatuation of him. And how they only did it when he wasn’t around.

Once he learns this information, he decides to quite the volleyball team, to your surprise. But you demands on making him not quit were ignored, as he excused it by saying “I have to make sure you’re always alright remember, and if that means quitting some volleyball team then so be it.”

That was one out of the many times that Kei put his happiness before yours.

Flashback over.

When you first got diagnosed, Kei was immediately researching on it as it was a very rare condition. But sadly, he only found what the doctor already told you both. It was uncurable and your immune system and your body will weaken as the days go by.

Which it did, you were a shell of your past self. It was always shocking for Kei to see, especially with you only being 25. ‘It wasn’t supposed to be this way,’ but he never let you see his sadness.

Whenever you knew Kei was sad you always reminded him “Kei, I may be dying but please don’t cry over me” every time you said, there was a slight undertone of humour in your voice which always worked in boosting Kei’s spirit.

AN: IVE GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHERE I HATE THIS SOOO IM SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR THE SHITTING RUSHED ENDING IM GOING TO PROVIDE FOR YOU LOL.

The days passed and the years went by, and you and Kei were still alive and kicking it. Doing your daily routine of you making some joke, Kei giving you your medicine and then you eating dinner. You eventually stopped complaining, realizing and remembering your promise you gave to Kei at 5 years old in that park. “As long as we shall live, we will always look out for eachother as we are forever bestfriends, agreed?”

Of course you had your rough days, everybody did and it was even harder being sick with a terminal illness. But having Kei to guide you through the storm made It better for you.

However, Kei isnt a miracle worker. He couldn’t save you, noone could. And you both knew that. That didn’t mean it made it any easier when the medicine stopped working and your pain got too hard to bear. Kei couldn’t watch you do this anymore, “the choice is yours” he said with tears in his eyes.  

So you knew what you had to do, you got in your bed pulling Kei with you, and letting him envelope you in a big hug as you both cried.

“I love you,” you say “You know that right?”

“Of course I know that, idiot” he replies “And I love you.”

“Always and forever?”

“Always and forever.”

AN: how did I END UP CRYING WHILST WRITING THIS WHEN IT MADE NO FUCKING SENSE, I WAS TRYING TO DO THIS COOL NOTEBOOK (I HAVENT EVEN WATCHED THE NOTEBOOK) ENDING WHERE ITS AMBIGIOUS AND SHIT AND I JUST GIVE UP OKAY? I APOLOGISE LOOOOOOL. I HOPE YOU ENJOY ATLEAST A SENTENCE OF THIS AT LEAST.

[the-acid-pear]

I did my homework and i did my chores, time to tackle on the third book of this series, Son of Ogre

Chapter 1

Okay but the fuck is Baki planning to do if he stops fighting? That's literally all he has, he's not smart

WOOH THATS A BIT REALISTIC

PREHISTORIC ELEPHANT?!

King just went to have a snack. Also FUCK does that meat look tasty FUCKKK

This baby so cute 🥺

I'm so glad Yuji is doing stupid hilarious shit again it had been a while

Congrats on Baki for that mantis

Chapter 2

Who tf is this kid?

Poor kid lmao, i assume he will meet Baki

Look at my boyyy

HSTSRFAYDF DON'T CALL HIM A MANLET

Imagine Baki actually kills this kid HSJDYSSHCBT

Third comment with a ton of likes is "we do not condone child violence. We do, however, find it hilarious"

Chapter 3

AH SHUT UPPP KIDDO

But i like Baki memeing a round a lil

Chapter 4

🥺🥺 that's so sweet...

HELLOOOO STRYDUM MY GOD YOUR TITS GOT FATTER SIR 😳😳

Yujiro is such a fucking threat to society lmao

I love seeing Baki with his eyes open, he's looking more like his old self

Oh, shadow boxing incoming, alright

Chapter 5

Yuri? 🥺 /j

THE RETURN OF IRON MICHAEL?!

Chapter 6

I love how there's our silly little mains after every cover LUV em <33

Baki just dissociating his ass out and using it on his favor, the king

Why is Baki eating sour prunes aren't those meant to be sweet?

We all salivating

Chapter 7

Love to see there are even more swears there now

I can put my face next to my foot too tho

FAGDRJSEHARD YUJIRO CAN BEAT THE CANCER HOW ICONIC 😍

Also i would LOVE to see Yuji fight an Orca

WHAT?!

I love how everyone in the comments is calling out Rumina for not seeing issue going down to a dark hidden basement with a shirtless man older than him

Chapter 8

"piggy back me" USHSYFLFUDSY

This fight is going to be good

Chapter 9

Imagine Baki dies right here right know against an imaginary mantis lmao

Okay Baki getting damaged makes sense but the WALL?

Baki's dead (GOD IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I HAVE SAID THAT)

Ffs it's true Baki COULD create himself a stand 😰

Chapter 10

OH FUCK IT'S TRUE

Chapter 11

This fight is so boring i had to take a 6 hour break

Baki just can't win against nature eh

This reminds me of Garland pulling a suplex on that Anaconda

Chapter 12

I can't wait for the main cast to ACTUALLY appear, instead of just, you know, them in the covers

This fight is slow but cool but slow

To fight a mantis you must think like a mantis 😎

Though it's true in this manga you will most likely win if you steal your opponent techniques so

Chapter 13

I MISS IGARI FUCKKK

This is so dumb i luv it

That mantis be swearing lmao

Love it when Baki goes full Yujiro

Chapter 14

TOBA...

Holy fuck do mantis fly?

Secret Chapter?

Is this how Yujiro got born?

Idk girl i would have killed him if i was you

WHAT.

I KNOW THOSE FROGS THEY ARE FROM PUERTO RICO I THINK

I might just be sleepy but this is so confusing

AKSHSKGSKSGSJSG JUST KILL THE BABY IT AINT THAT HARD

Chapter 15

GAIA...

Why is he like this?

Is "he" with us right now?

...gotta admit that IS true...

I love Strydum sksgwhwg

Yujiro really went XD

I don't think my man Arun in the comments is aware how gay what he said is, though maybe I'm wrong

Chapter 16

GOD THESE FUCKING COVERS MAKING ME SO NOSTALGIC, LOOK AT SPEC!

ANIME KENNEDY?!

I can't believe Bush is dead

AN ASIAN BOY HAS JUST KIDNAPPED THE PRESIDENT...

8 of January? My god he's a Capricorn

I'm sorry, what?

LAHQIGWKQFWKSFWIWG 😭😭

I love Baki so much, THIS IS THE KID THAT I MISSED SO MUCH

This explains why Baki was in prison clothes in the anime teaser

Chapter 17

BIG NUMBER

That one mf like 😐

Glad Baki is 18 now at least 😌

Love to see Oliva back

Chapter 18

This page not even bothering to charge the pages anymore

I'm sure there were better ways to go to jail, well, actually, no, but still

Toba used to just chew that off

Baki did that mantis hit you in the head too hard?

I. I watched way too many prison movies and shows. I don't like seeing someone as young and pretty as Baki in such a place. I rlly don't.

Chapter 19

Yanagi baby i miss you...

IRON MICHAEL?!

Mfkhsjsys 😳🥴

Eh got my hopes too high

CHE BAKI PIBE... LA PUTA MADRE NI ACA ME ESCAPO DE MIS COMPATRIOTAS

I hope he swears too i want to see a boludo o pelotudo PLEASE

I mean para pelotudos lo veo a Yujiro todo el tiempo pero igual JSGWKEGWG me pone bien argento ver al Che carajo

Chapter 20

HE SAID BOLUDO SUAHWKWGAKSGSKSGSKGD

I can't take this omfg new fav I'm sorry Doppo but he just said boludo 😭

Pendejo is more used as pibe here but i will let it pass bc idk the lingo in Cuba and he spent some time there so

Why don't i speak like this too ffs? All i do is say eh and call it a day

He's cocky enough to call anybody any age pibe so I'll let that pass too

Por favor no lo hagas che sksgwj

Chapter 21

Che, pibe, it's a good day to die...

Chapter 22

GSHAGSTSG he should have said "no boludo"

I'm falling in love with this boludo myself

That's talented and brutal

OH RIGHT YOU LOSE YOUR BALANCE WHEN YOU DONT HAVE THAT

Chapter 23

Hm that's, cringe

YESSS HE SAID PELOTUDO

OAHWLGWKQFSKSGSJS SIII ROMPELO TODO CHE, ROMPELO TODO POR DECIRTE YANKEE KSGSSJGS

Honestly i too get pissed off when called American or European, though i won't throw shit to Baki, he's some random 18 yo japanese boy, no way he would recognize latinoamerican lingo lmao

King shit Baki boy

Chapter 24

Oh that's why he's called Jun Guevara, that's fair

I like how they are mixing a bit of truth and a bit of lie it's fun at least

Chapter 25

I like how they are drawing nipples now, occasionally

I can't wait for Viêt to complain about propaganda in the comments

OH SHIT

😳 :Y

He's sooo nice 😍

Chapter 26

Only three? You mean the third is... 👁️👁️

HAHA YEAH YUJI-CHAN <3

I can't believe he works for the USA I'm crying and shaking rn

What a progressive manga, the three strongest and most dangerous men and none of them are white 😍

GET HIS ASS BAKI

Chapter 27

Why is this guy sweating sm?

LDYDYSUGFUDT BAKI PLS

I like how the only time Baki was willing to kill a person was when he thought Sikorsky had hurt his girl

Chapter 28

I feel like Ian will die

Man i love how Baki is drawn in this book

Ffs i called it, i have watched way too many prison things to know how shit goes down

I have seen these three before in fanart but I'm curious to see what they can do

Chapter 29

Their faces remind me of Doyle

OH I CANT WAIT TO SEE EM IN THE ANIME

ASSHOLE DON'T CALL ME STUPID 😢💔

I'm gonna struggle to tell em apart but i think I'll manage

Okay I'm not the only one who thinks they look like Doyle, fair

Chapter 30

The mouth vs Yujiro when?

Someone mentioned the have the same vibe as the dudes that worked with Gaia and like 👁️👁️

Chapter 31

Lmao someone in the comments recommended the same thing

These three must be great at sex (sorry)

KSHALDHDKD NEW FAV COMMENT: "go to Japan and look for the word "defeat". That way you won't feel cocky anymore"

Chapter 32

Hehe hello Junnn~

KSHAKDHKWGS

La luna

Chapter 33

LOS TRES...

Okay that's funny, hocico instead of mouth (hocico is used for animal mouths)

I'm so glad i know Spanish

The two things that drive me insane and make me ramble are Doppo's beauty and this stupid argentinian

OSHSKWGSKSG

Chapter 34

Imagine he's doing that illusion thing Dorian did

With his own blood, that's so cool...

Hoho...!

I did that once when i had a terrible nose bleed, didn't go well

Chapter 35

This book is fucking boring NGL

"now that you got no more urine left in you"

AH.

GAHDYR LMAO

Chapter 36

HO THAT TITLE, PLEEEASE I NEED SOMETHING, ANYTHING, TO HAPPEN

HHH he kinda cute...

Oww :(

JDJSJFRGAJ

God piantao is an old word i had never heard it before

AND he took a piss.

LOCO NO SEAS HOMOFÓBICO NINGUNA MINA ACA ES MEJOR QUE ESTE PIBITO TE LO ASEGURO SKSGSKGSJAAGS

Se me cayó un ídolo y yo que le quería dar 😔

ÑSHWQLSGOSGDKW

Let's see if he lied to Baki about just liking eh /j

Chapter 37

I luv Oliva lol

AJSGSKSLAGHS BAKI SNAPPED

I too wonder where the fuck Kozue is

Chapter 38

LSHSLDGSLSGSIEG

He is jealous of what you two have, it's normal, el Che just rejected his love after all ;/

Oliva is a king

OH A HANKERCHIEF I THOUGHT THAT WAS UNDERWEAR SHSGS-

Oh shit Oliva is like 45?! He looked so young

Te fuiste a la mierda, Che, el chabón estaba siendo re bueno con vos

Baki is just dead

Chapter 39

I love how realistic Che's fear is, he's rather smart, though not this time

POOR GUY AJSGSWJW

I didn't realize Che said "what more, it may be a woman!" but to be fair they ARE in jail so

Chapter 40

I'm feeling kinda bad for him ngl

I feel happy for him tho 🥺

Bruh they added one page after the ending of some naked anime girl tf 😐

Chapter 41

These prisoners having fun is kinda sweet

YO INSANE

Bitches be complaining about Maria's looks are just jealous 🥰

Chapter 42

Damn she lorge

He loves fighting naked eh

Only valid person is the one saying Oliva deserves better treatment which tbh true

Chapter 43

Fun fact i wear my jacket like El Che too, unless it's too cold

El che with the hair lose is so cute bro,,,

Something something fingering joke

Sikorski could fold a coin too

I bet the bandana will break

Chapter 44

I would have just fallen on top of him, how is he gonna counter that, eh?

Oh that super fun to know!

Oh the good ol dirty technique, i have seen this one before!

Chapter 45

NOOO MARIA DON'T DO THIS TO HIM

This fight is super cool tho i love these two characters

Chapter 46

They just keep changing the rules i think Itagaki is just flexing at this point

LAAOSFKAGSKAGSKAF???

Baki wants his protagonism back

I'm getting pissed off they keep putting semi naked underaged girls at the end of every chapter 😐

Chapter 47

Bruh just realized, the mouth got so hyped as this new cool villain and they died in their first appearance 😭

His damn bandana...

[theblackberrygirl]

Dead Hearts

Summary: The Red Room is destroyed and Natasha has some unresolved goodbyes to say.

Author’s Note: alright I wasn’t super happy with this bc I felt like it was kinda OOC but my beta reader said she rly liked it so here it is!

Warnings: torture, death, death of children, hypothermia, grief. It’s sad alright

This is a song fic and it’s inspired by Dead Hearts by Stars

Tell me everything that happened

Tell me everything you saw

They had lights inside their eyes

They had lights inside their eyes

“JARVIS, show me the article,” Nat asked, her voice trembling ever so slightly.

“Of course, Ms. Romanoff.”

The headline streamed across the TV in her room. Russian training academy, Red Room, has been destroyed and burned by the US government.

Her stomach dropped. No. It can’t be true. The Red Room doesn’t just get destroyed. That’s not possible, it’s not true.

But it was. It was true. The Red Room had been reduced to a pile of burning cinder blocks.

She felt a strange feeling in her heart. She definitely wasn’t nostalgic. The Red Room had kidnapped her from that house fire when she was 4, leaving her parents to die. They tortured her, made her into a killer, messed with her mind and memories.

They made her kill her friends.

When she had escaped when she was 16 and Clint had found her, she never looked back. She ran and ran because running was what she knew, it was all she knew.

But now, she couldn’t run away. No, for once in her life, it was time to run towards something.

“JARVIS, is the quinjet fueled up?”

“Yes, Ms. Romanoff, but-”

“Get me 29 roses please. I’m leaving in 10 minutes.” JARVIS didn’t answer her, but she knew he was listening.

It was late, around 2 in the morning. Tony would be in his lab. The others would hopefully be asleep. Clint… well, he was a wild card at night. He could be anywhere. But she had known him for years. She knew how to avoid him.

She threw some essentials in a bag before heading towards the quinjet. JARVIS had been listening, because a bundle of blood-red roses laid on the countertop.

She picked them up on her way out to one of the jets. She needed to do this. Not just for herself.

But for them.

-

Did you see the closing window?

Did you hear the slamming door?

They moved forward, and my heart died

They moved forward, and my heart died

-

“Mr. Stark, Ms. Romanoff has just entered the roof.”

“What? Why?” Tony asked, actually pausing his newest project to listen to JARVIS.

“She asked me to make sure one of the quinjets had fuel and to get her roses.”

“That’s helpful,” Tony grumbled. “Is Barton still up?”

“Mr. Barton is currently downstairs in the archery range.”

“Typical. Tell him to come up here, will ya J?”

“Right away, Mr. Stark.”

Tony didn’t go back to his tinkering. He wanted to give Natasha her space, since she’d probably kill him if he didn’t. But at the same time, if this was something important, he didn’t want her to be alone.

“Tony? What’s up?” Clint had arrived in the lab, his bow on his back.

“Hey, do you know if today is anything important for Nat? An anniversary or something?”

“...no? Not that I know of anyways. Why? She alright?”

“I’m not sure, Katniss. JARVIS just told me that she was going up to the jet with roses.”

“Where is she going?”

“The GPS coordinates are set for an area approximately 50 miles West of Vorkuta, Russia.”

“Russia? Why would she be going back to-”

“JARVIS, how many roses did she want?” Clint interjected.

“29, sir.”

“That’s specific,” Tony commented.

Clint didn’t say anything. He wordlessly picked up one of the laptops Tony had laying around and typed something into the search bar.

“Oh no, Tasha… I knew you talked about it doing something, but...”

“What? What is it?”

Clint spun the laptop around for him to see. “The Red Room. It’s gone. And I think I know why she’s going back”

-

Please, please tell me what they looked like

Did they seem afraid of you?

They were kids that I once knew

They were kids that I once knew...

-

Even in a quinjet, the ride from New York to Northern Russia was pretty long, giving her plenty of time to think and contemplate.

She did not want to think. Not about the Red Room, or Madame B, or the other girls, anything.

You owe it to them to remember.

All of her memories before 16 were jumbled. But some things… some things can’t be erased or altered by drugs.

She remembers their names. All of them. All 29.

She had been the youngest girl in her class of Black Widows. Some said that was a weakness. Others said it was an advantage.

But when they brought little Natalia Romanova to that place, still covered in burns and ash, she didn’t care about becoming the Black Widow. She wanted her mother, and father, in their little one-bedroom apartment, with her stuffed rabbit Alexei. It was always cold in that apartment, but when she was snuggled between her mother and father, she felt safe.

She learned quickly that safety was not a feeling in the Red Room. That was something for children, and she was not a child. She was Natalia, made of marble.

On her first night there, when she had silently cried from the pain of cold metal handcuff cutting her wrist, one of the older girls had helped her. She was 8. Her name was Nadia.

Nadia had stolen one of the handcuff keys from the guards. She had unlocked the cuffs and hugged her. Made her a makeshift doll out of an old sock and toilet paper. Told her stories of magic and heros.

In the morning, they found out about what Nadia had done. They punished her until she couldn’t scream anymore. Just before they killed her, she looked at Natalia. “It’s ok”, she whispered. Just before they pulled the trigger.

Magic had not been in that place in a very long time.

After Nadia had been killed, Natalia funneled her grief and fear into her training. She rose to the top, taking down girls who were twice her age and twice her size. She used untraditional methods on the mat, using her legs to take them down since that was where she was strongest.

Her handlers were very impressed with her sudden prowess. She became the best dancer, best fighter, best liar. She picked up the languages quickly. She was as stoic as stone, never flinching or backing down from the threat of a punishment.

They never knew what fueled her excellence. Never knew that she was motivated by rage and grief. For her parents. For Nadia.

When she turned 9 years old, she decided that it was time to repay her debt to Nadia. There was a new girl, the last one for their class. The thirtieth. Sasha.

No one knew what had happened to Sasha. But they did know that she was good. She was unwavering, unmoving. During the day, anyways.

At night, Natalia could hear the girl in the bed next to her trying to muffle her cries. She took out the key that one of the guards had foolishly left in the washrooms. She carefully unlocked her own cuff and Sasha’s.

She rubbed her back silently. Rebraided her French braids that had come undone in the night. Made her a crude doll out of an old sock and toilet paper. Just as Nadia had done for her.

The next morning, Natalia had waited all day for someone to take her to a room to be killed. But they never did. They hadn’t been caught.

Sasha and Natalia continued their routine every night. It was nice to have a friend in a place where friends were a myth.

They were friends for 2 years. They learned to master sneaking around. When Sasha turned 11, someone took her into a room alone. They did this all the time for training, interrogation practice, or just a mental test.

When Sasha didn’t come back that night, she knew something was wrong.

She never saw Sasha again. She didn’t know what happened to her. She still didn’t.

“Landing in 10 minutes,” the jet intercom told her. A wave of anxiety washed over her. She didn’t want to be here. She wanted to turn around, go home, and never come back.

She hated the memories associated with this place. This was the closest she had ever been in the 12 years since Clint saved her. She avoided it like the plague.

The clearing the jet had landed in was still about 2 miles from the old academy. She pulled her coat and hat on and began her march through the barren fields and forest.

Tank tops and shorts. No shoes, she thought to herself. When she was 13, Madame B had given them all black tank tops and shorts. She took away their combat boots and forced them out into the bitter winds.

“Only the strongest will survive this challenge. Only those worthy of the Black Widow title will make it through this. If you are not ready, well, hypothermia isn’t a bad way to go,” she had told them. 2 girls out of the remaining 18 had died that day.

Then they had gone inside to train. The cold made their muscles achey and stiff, but the Red Room was not a place for complaints.

Then they did it all again the next day.

By the end of the week, 7 of the remaining 18 girls were dead, either from exhaustion or the cold. 11 remained from a group that was once 30.

Anastasia. Irina. Svetlana. Alina. Manya. Eva. Kyana.

Their dead hearts were everywhere. The lights inside their eyes extinguished. They’re still out there. And she still cares.

She always will.

-

I could say it, but you won't believe me

You say you do, but you don't deceive me

It's hard to know they're out there

It's hard to know that you still care

-

Pepper, Tony, Clint, Bruce, Thor, Steve, and Fury had all boarded a jet to Russia as soon as Clint told them what had happened. They weren’t going to let her go through this alone.

Natasha Romanoff liked to pretend she didn’t feel things. But they were her family. And family helped each other.

They all sat in silence. Natasha only had an hour on them, but that was still an hour where she was alone and hurting. Even Tony didn’t say anything.

Clint was playing with the spider necklace he always wore. Natasha had a matching one with an arrow. It was a symbol of how deep their friendship went.

Fury was completely still. He had his arms resting on his knees, looking straight ahead. His lips were more downturned than usual, and his forehead was more tense. You could only tell if you had known him for a long time, but Fury was upset. Upset that the woman he looked at as a daughter had to relive this. That she even had to live through it at all.

Clint and Fury were probably getting hit the hardest. They knew the most about what went down in the Red Room. They knew the most about how painful this had to be for their friend.

As the jet lightly set down in the field near the jet that Natasha had taken, they all prepared to walk the 2 miles in the cold weather.

The ground beneath their feet was completely frozen. Permafrost. Snowflakes rushed around their faces. It was painfully beautiful.

The sound of dried grass and leaves under their feet was the only sound on their walk. The wind whistled in their ears. The cold air bit into their exposed skin like needles.

Clint’s breath caught in his throat when he saw her.

She was standing on a pile of rubble with her back to them. Her flaming red hair was flying in the wind. In her arms was the bouquet of roses. Each rose had a note attached, written in Natasha’s small, elegant penmanship.

As Clint looked closer, he saw what the notes were. Names. All of them.

If Nat had realized they were there, she made no move to acknowledge them.

She just stood there. As if she was in shock. To be honest, she might’ve been.

“Sometimes, I swear I can see them,” Natasha spoke. She sounded so… broken. “Everywhere. In the reflection of a window. When I heard a door slam, it was like they were right there like they used to be. Like how they were in here.”

They all stayed quiet. She needed to get this out.

“It’s like they’re following me. Protecting me. I miss them. I miss them all.”

“Inna, Katrina, Larisa, Polina, and Oksana were the first 5 to go.” She held the 5 flowers tightly in her hand, like if she squeezed it tightly enough, she could bring them back. “5, 7, 6, 4, and 8. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you,” she whispered. Her emotions were coming to the surface, hidden by a thin veil of control.

“Raisa, Sonya, Ulyana, Vanka. I didn’t know any of you. Not personally. But all of you deserved so much better than what you got.”

“Luda, Lubov, and Klara. You were 8 years old. Triplets. Nothing could come between you three. Not the Red Room. Not even death.”

Clint started to move closer towards his best friend. He could see the way she was shaking.

“That week when we stood outside for hours. The cold and exhaustion took 7. Anastasia, Irina, Svetlana, Alina, Manya, Eva, Kyana. I hope that you weren’t in pain when you died. I hope you’re finally resting.”

Only 10 roses were left in her arms, the other 19 laid out on the ground in front of her. The bright red petals contrasted sharply with the grey cinder blocks and white snow.

“Yelizaveta. Liz. We were in actual hell together, and yet you somehow managed to make me smile with your fucked-up sense of humor. In a place like that, dark humor is the only kind you have.” A small smile joined the tears running down her face. “I hope I’ll see you again one day.”

“Taisiya, Sonechka, Nikita, Mischa, Maya, Luda. You were all so smart. And so strong. You fought harder than everyone. Even now, I have yet to meet someone as smart as you six, and 2 of my best friends have more than one PhD,” she laughed.

She was down to the final three roses. Clint put his arm around her. The dam was threatening to break any moment now.

“Nadia.” She let her tears fall for Nadia. “I wouldn’t be alive without you. I wouldn’t have gotten to meet my family. I wouldn’t have gotten to become an aunt without you.” Clint had already been crying, they all had, even Fury, but that had struck him deep in his heart. “I owe you. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” she choked out. She bit her lip to keep it from trembling as she gently set the rose down on the ground.

“When I was 14, we had to do torture training.” Pepper let out a small gasp. “After I had finished the whipping and electrocution day, Anya split her bread with me. She cleaned the cuts that I couldn’t reach. In the morning, I-” Her voice began to crack. “They made me be the one to kill her. She was 15.” She set Anya’s rose on the ground next to the others. “You didn’t deserve it, Anya. You were always so good. Better than I ever was.”

“Sasha. Sasha and I were best friends,” she let out a small bittersweet laugh. “When I was with her, I felt like, maybe, we could lead normal lives. Escape. Be happy. One day, when we were 11, they took her away and never brought her back.” She held the rose with Sasha written on it in her hand. “I’m sorry, Sash. I’m so, so sorry. For everything.”

“You forgot one,” Clint whispered. He held out one more red rose. “Natalia Romanova. A little girl orphaned in a fire, who did what she had to do to survive. Who walked through hell and back and still found herself a family and a home.” He set the rose down with the others.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” she cried. Clint hugged her tightly as they sank to the ground.

“We were all so young. We were all kids. Just kids,” she sobbed into his shoulder.

Years upon years, over 2 decades worth of grief, sadness, fear, rage, and pain came pouring out. She had been bottling these feelings up for 24 years, shoving them down, and now they were finally being released. Finally being set free.

“They were kids that I once knew. They were kids that I once knew...”

-

Now they’re all dead hearts to you.

They were kids that I once knew

They were kids that I once knew

Now they're all dead hearts to you

Now they're all dead hearts to you

They were kids that I once knew

They were kids that I once knew

Now they're all dead hearts to you...

[mythicamagic]

Sesskag week Day 7: hurt/comfort

Summery: Decades have passed since the Bone Eater’s well closed. Kagome discovers an injured Sesshoumaru within the shrine grounds one day, having fallen through time into her era. Until the well opens again, he is stuck within modern times, but finds an unlikely bond with the unaging, isolated miko. Oneshot. For Sesskag Week Day 7 - free day. 

Rated T

7,700 words

AN: For the last Sesskag week prompt it was a free day, so I chose Hurt/comfort, with a side order of angst bc that's what I'm about lol sorry for the late entry.

Warning: some grief

(all prompts posted on Ao3, fanfic.net and Dokuga)

Together Alone

The sun blazed brilliant hues of orange as it ascended the horizon, slowly inching further into a tangerine sky. A figure stepped outside, feeling a slight breeze tease at the ends of her hair. Not for the first time, Kagome gave thanks to whoever had decided to build their home on a hill, blessing them with the ability to see the vast spread of Tokyo city. Flinching as she stepped out of the shade, blue eyes focused, and she blinked, adjusting to the light.

Walking further into the courtyard of the silent Higurashi shrine, she noted an abundance of leaves scattered around the place. Great piles of flame-filled colours had accumulated, spread out like her own personal confetti. Kagome smiled ruefully.

Autumn had arrived.

Having overslept, she took up a broom as an excuse to move stiff muscles. As she swept the stray leaves up, amusement touched her face. The image of a redhead fox leaping into the firey leaves played through her mind. She didn't stop to acknowledge the nostalgic thought.

As she brushed a few leaves with a little too much force into a waiting, bigger pile, Kagome noticed a tuft of something white sticking out of it. At first, she assumed it to be feathers of some sort and poked the broom over the pile slightly. Yet the more leaves she uncovered, the more white she found, until a particularly long strand of it made her pause.

Hair.

Her miko powers flickered like a forgotten lightbulb that had long since fizzled out, briefly awakening. Sensing a presence under the leaves, Kagome's face became unreadable as she crouched down. Beginning to pluck them off, some of the fine silky strands clung to her hands, and her fingers twitched in response. It felt so soft. The thick volume of hair eventually gave way to pale skin. Kagome's eyes widened. A pointed ear lay under the pad of her thumb. Hastily sweeping the remaining locks aside to reveal a demon's delicate features, the priestess stilled, breath catching.

To say he was beautiful was an understatement. Ethereal perhaps. She couldn't suppress the quiver in her fingers, spying magenta markings adorning his cheeks. Her heart thundered, and she swallowed thickly.

"Sesshoumaru."

Viciously suppressing the ache in her chest, she held out hope that he wasn't lying dead on her doorstep.

Shaking his shoulder, she noted the muscle beneath her palm that his slim figure belied. He was dressed exactly as she remembered, albeit a bit more rumpled, armour broken.

"Hey-" she cleared her throat. "Wake up sleeping beauty."

Feeling for a pulse, a steady thrum fluttered under her fingers.

Kagome gave a huge sigh of relief even as his eyes remained closed.

Reaching through the pile and awkwardly sliding her hands under his arms, Kagome was heedless of the falling leaves scattering around them as she started dragging him. Hoping the Daiyoukai wouldn't kill her for touching him without permission, she heaved, returning back inside with her unexpected guest.

----

Stirring a few hours later, a bright cosmos of golden fire burned alive within demonic irises as his eyes snapped open, blinking up at the ceiling.

"Where...?"

Kagome sat in an armchair near the couch he lay upon, reading. She turned when hearing his voice, rising. "You're in my home."

The moment his gaze swung to her, Sesshoumaru jolted upright. He stared in disbelief, raking his attention down her body. "Impossible."

"I didn't die all those years ago, so I'd say it's pretty probable that I can stand here in front of you," she smiled a little, offering him a glass of water that had been waiting on the table.

Sesshoumaru's eyes widened, shifting fractured attention around the room, returning it to her and observing the contours of her face. "Why have you not aged?" he carefully inquired. "Many years have passed. 20, if memory serves."

Kagome's lips thinned and she set the glass down again. "I dunno, something happened with the jewel or the well. I couldn't figure out which, so-" she smiled wryly, spreading her arms out and turning in a circle. "I'm pretty much physically stuck at age 16. Even though I'm actually around 36. I don't know if I'm just not aging or if I'm immortal. It sucks."

He blinked, scenting the air. "...This one is not picking up the smell of death lingering around you as it does with all humans. Immortality can be assumed then."

A complicated expression crossed her face. "O-oh," she murmured, falling quiet.

Raising a brow, the demon ghosted long claws over his face, something slowly occurring to him. "How did this one come to be here?"

Kagome shook herself and scrambled to retain her bravado. "I should be asking you that. Sleeping in a pile of leaves isn't what I expected from the mighty Lord Sesshoumaru. Then again, you always were quite in touch with nature. Going on long walks and stuff," she smiled a little.

"Hn," Sesshoumaru shifted his feet over the edge of the couch, brushing long hair back and stopping to remove a few leaves. "I should be going," he said primly.

"Uh- sorry for interfering but do you even know where you are?"

"Of course I do," he tutted, before hissing and stilling. Pressing a hand to his side, he felt the rough scrape of bandages under his clothing. They were wrapped around his ribs. His face skittered with an unnamed expression, pinning her with a dark look.

Kagome had the grace to seem mildly guilty before her gaze turned flat. "I put your clothes back on after binding your wounds. You're welcome."

"I did not ask for your assistance." His lip lifted, exposing a fang while pressing his palm against his side protectively. Yet he felt no serious wounds, and that the miko had assisted him while he'd been vulnerable was something he had no choice but to acknowledge.

Kagome's hand raised in a placating gesture. "You're on the defensive, I understand that. But don't get crabby," she drew closer. "We were allies in our fight against Naraku. You can still trust me, even if it has been a while."

The passionate, cold glow in his eyes lessened slightly, and Sesshoumaru exhaled. "...This one recalls fighting near the Bone Eater's Well. An enemy struck- and I…" a steel edge threaded his calm voice, obviously frustrated.

Kagome's brows drew together, "you fell down the well," she finished softly, face drawn. "I wonder why it opened to let you through. It's always been closed for me, ever since that day a long time ago."

"Perhaps it is still open?"

The miko looked sceptical and jaded, breathing out and pushing some hair behind her ear.

"I must see-" he stood, eyes widening as his knees buckled. Kagome quickly caught him about the shoulders, pressing against the hard line of his body in order to steady him. Sesshoumaru's nose briefly dipped into soft, dark hair. She smelled of warm home comforts and the stifled tease of holy power brimming under her skin.

It dazed him enough not to realise she'd gently guided him back down to sit. "Stay here, mister. I can't be lugging you about again if you collapse," blue eyes danced. "I'll go take a look. Be back in a flash," Kagome released him and walked from the room.

Sesshoumaru stared, before turning his attention to the structure he found himself in. The house lay near-silent, but he could detect the faint, gravely sound of breathing in another room. A human. Older, weak.

It smiled faintly of feline too, and his keen gaze sought out the thin, discarded hairs of a shedding house-cat littered on the arm of a chair. His nose wrinkled.

Kagome's home also held the strange, buzzing feeling of energy running through its walls like a nervous system. He followed the hum of power down the side of a wall, trailing his eyes over bizarre, thin black rope connecting to a square box in the corner of the room.

"No dice."

He jolted, bristling at being caught unawares. Kagome smiled gently from the threshold, a faint sheen over her eyes.

Sesshoumaru blinked, not picking up the trace of tears. She'd held them back.

"Explain."

"The well is closed again, so looks like you're stuck for the time being," Kagome hummed, tapping her chin. Noticing the alarm flashing in his eyes, she changed her tone to an assuring one. "If it opened once to let you through, I'm confident it'll do it again. You can take the time to heal here in the meantime, no one will harm you. I think I mentioned this to you before but there's no fighting or killing in Tokyo like in your era, so be on your best behaviour during your stay. There's a garden out back, and a small amount of trees bordering it if you want peace and quiet. I don't think it's a good idea for you to leave the shrine though."

"...Very well," he muttered quietly.

Thinking for a moment, the demon decided it bothered him enough to inquire; "who is the aged human in this house? I hear them."

Surprise skittered over her face, soon gentling. "That's my Grandpa. I live here with him alone- ah- aside from Pyon."

Sesshoumaru sneered. "The feline."

Kagome blinked and burst into a delicate laugh- and had it always been so dusty and gentle? For some reason he recalled it being more full of life and childish.

"You'll have to grin and bear it, for the time being at least," she winked. "Want something to eat?"

"I do not consume human food."

Kagome pursed her mouth, and Sesshoumaru fought the incredibly random urge to take her bottom lip between his teeth, quickly shaking himself. "I've got some fresh meats from the market. No seasoning or anything. Will those do?"

"Hn."

---

Due to his demonic blood, Sesshoumaru merely needed to lounge on the couch for a few more hours before feeling his wound tentatively heal.

He listened, hearing shuffling upstairs and Kagome's gentle voice. Sesshoumaru looked over the back of the couch to observe an incredibly aged human move stiffly into view at the top of the stairs. Kagome helped him onto a chair- which then began to slowly descend the steps via a mechanism attached to the wall.

Sesshoumaru stared.

He had never seen such an old man. Usually, mortals died before managing to reach such an age, vulnerable to disease and such. Kagome followed and helped him to the armchair in the living beside Sesshoumaru, smiling at the demon.

"Grandpa, this is-"

"Demon," the old man rasped in an accusing voice, not looking in his direction.

Sesshoumaru arched a brow.

Kagome beamed. "Yes, Grandpa! But his name is Sesshoumaru. Mind your manners."

"Inuyasha can like it or lump it," Grandpa huffed, pressing a small device. The square box suddenly flared to life, making the demon jolt.

Loud noises assaulted his ears, tiny mortals behind the screen doing bizzare things, dressed in costume and talking very animatedly about a- Sesshoumaru squinted- energy drink?

Gentle fingers smoothed over mokomoko. Golden eyes snapped to her touch, noticing the bristling fur she was trying to calm.

"It's just television. This is what people watch for entertainment or if they're bored."

Sesshoumaru made a non-committal noise. He didn't like it.

Kagome smiled at him sympathetically and offered a hand- which the Daiyoukai reluctantly took, pride stinging. He grit sharp teeth while they made their journey through the house, disliking her soothing closeness and the fact that he found her scent appealing.

Eventually, they made it outside, stepping into the lush, rich sunlight and walking through the courtyard that stretched wide. Sesshoumaru glanced around. "The smell of smoke and other fumes are distinct here."

"It's because of the city," Kagome murmured, arm around his waist to hold him steady. He suspected it was a habit she'd gained from looking after Grandpa. The demon did not need her assistance but also neglected to push her away. "That's Tokyo- see. It's what Kaede's village will become."

Golden eyes followed the point of her finger, gazing out at the large, bustling city beyond the shrine. It looked nothing like he'd ever seen before. Their buildings were tall and imposing. He knew the miko to be from the future, but Sesshoumaru hadn't taken much time to envision what it would be like.

"Why do I not sense any demons?" he muttered.

Kagome winced, avoiding his gaze. "I don't know. I haven't sensed them in the city."

"They are likely cloaking themselves from detection then," Sesshoumaru confidently assumed. Anything else was unthinkable.

The miko didn't reply, watching him glance around.

"Hn, this one was going to sleep out here. However, I do not think it would be a peaceful rest."

"If the garden isn't to your liking then I'm not sure what else to recommend. I do have several plants inside my room, they can make the air feel more clear, right? You can sleep there if you want."

"Very well," he uttered, moving to brush past her. A hiss escapes clenched teeth when his ribs blazed to life with pain and he found herself resting against her side for a moment. Kagome's warm hand felt steady on his waist. She didn't breathe a word, assisting him back inside.

---

It was a painstaking process to try and usher the proud demon up the stairs. Kagome had almost suggested taking Grandpa's stairlift before Sesshoumaru's narrowed gaze had swung to her, stifling the words on her tongue.

"Is this is your room?" he asked once they reached it.

"My childhood bedroom to be exact. I sleep in Mama's old room now," Kagome arched a brow, expecting his sharp tongue. "Is it to your liking, my Lord?" she teased.

"It is very… pink."

A smile quirked her lips. "Hopefully the bed is big enough for you. There's a bathroom in the hallway if you want to be experimental and take a shower. There's always a bath too. Do you need anything else?"

"No."

"Alrighty then, goodnight."

Kagome's heel drew back and she turned, moving away. She was rewarded with the soft cadence of his voice.

"...Thank you."

She blinked, wondering why those words made warmth fan into her hollow feeling chest. Glancing over her shoulder, the miko watched with fascination as he settled onto her much too small bed, silver hair tumbling down to the floor. Leaving soon after, a buzzing took flight in her ears that thrummed through her bloodstream.

Tears pricked blue eyes, and Kagome leaned heavily against a wall once she'd reached the privacy of her own bedroom, pressing a hand to her mouth. Unmitigated relief choked fire up her throat, battling with resentment.

She'd worked hard. She'd worked so damn hard to keep the memories of her friends in the feudal era hidden away in a box. To continue living every day in the cold, repetitive present time.

Cramming her feelings away into that neat and tidy box again, Kagome pushed away from the wall to go check on Grandpa for the umpteenth time.

---

Mama had died at the much too early age of 57.

It had been so long since the well had closed. Now at 36, Kagome supposed she should've probably shared her secret with more people, to keep her in a friendship circle of some sort. Souta had moved out, married and had kids. He still visited sometimes but it didn't feel like nearly enough. She supposed her isolation made her needy, though Kagome never voiced it.

Sesshoumaru had gotten antsy waiting around. He'd consumed almost all the reading material in her house already during his stay, soaking in information like a sponge. "I wish to see the city," he uttered, shooting the cat a glare as Pyon brushed against her leg, purring. "Despite the foul smells, if this one is to remain here for a little while longer, I should like to know my surroundings."

Kagome hadn't refused but had given a few conditions. One was that he couldn't go off on his own (lest he be angered and melt a car) and two, that he looked and dressed the part.

Dying her own hair the colour of chestnut in the bathroom, Kagome had offered a bottle of black hair dye for the demon lord. Sesshoumaru, while holding his nose, had flatly refused.

To her surprise then, he'd swept claw-tipped hands through snowy silver locks, the colour bleeding dark black.

"H-how did you do that?" she'd asked, rinsing her hair over the tub.

"It is a simple enough thing to modify one's appearance when you are a strong enough youkai," he'd sniffed.

When she'd finally finished up and wandered downstairs, he flicked his attention over her appearance just as she drank him in. The magenta stripes and crescent moon were missing, claws retracted but nails still sharp. He couldn't hide the pointed ears, so had swept dark hair into a low ponytail so that the thick volume of strands covered them.

Kagome's hair had been cut shorter, now above her shoulders and appearing brunette.

"Would it not be easier for you to wear a wig?" he asked, uncertain why she needed a disguise too.

She blinked as though roused from a dream, cheeks colouring. "Maybe, but it feels easier to step into a different persona like this. Besides, it's been so long since I last wandered around outside the shrine. We tend to get all our stuff delivered here."

Sesshoumaru arched a brow. "How long has it been?"

"I think 5 months?"

He stared but didn't say another word. In accordance with her conditions, Kagome uncovered father's old clothes from the depths of the attic. Mother had kept them in mint condition for years, so she'd refrained from discarding them. Sesshoumaru dressed in the old white shirt, business shoes and suit jacket, finding the latter a little too small.

"Can't you just enlarge your body into it if 'it's simple enough to modify one's appearance?" Kagome teased.

He tossed her a dry look. "Outward appearance. Some things cannot be changed. If I could adjust myself so easily, I'd have re-grown my severed limb much quicker."

She giggled, trying not to eye him in the navy suit. Noticing his struggle with the black-tie, she sighed and drew closer, reaching up and fixing it.

Golden eyes snapped to her face, body stilling as though waiting for something. Kagome flashed a small smile, gently tapping the area beneath his eye. "You'll have to do something about these as well," she murmured.

Pale lashes lowered slightly, animalistic pupils rounding. Gold dulled into earthy brown tones. "Humans are so plain in appearance."

Kagome pinched his side. "Rude," drawing away and grabbing some contacts, she slid brown over her naturally blue eyes.

Sesshoumaru frowned, wandering outside into the stuffy, clogging city air. Perhaps to humans, it didn't smell so intense, but he was Daiyoukai. Superior senses were hard to mute.

Hearing the creak of wheels, he glanced over one shoulder, watching Kagome help Grandpa outside, pushing his wheelchair. "You are bringing him?" he uttered flatly.

Some of her old temper sparked across her face. "I can't leave him alone, and besides, Grandpa could use the fresh air."

"Are the sakura blossoms in bloom yet?" the old man asked listlessly.

She smiled, tucking the blanket over his legs a little neater. "No, Grandpa. We're in September, so it's a little late."

He grumbled in discontentment, becoming quiet as Kagome wheeled him towards the back of the shrine. Beyond the trees was a road that zig-zagged down to houses.

"What are you doing?"

Kagome glanced back at Sesshoumaru, who stood within the courtyard near the stone stairs she'd used to take for walking to school. "I can't wheel Grandpa down those steps. Well- I can, but it'll take a lot longer and I'm- AHH!" she yelped, feeling an arm wrap around her waist and yank so that both feet left the ground. Sesshoumaru then reached down and lifted Granpa's chair above his head with one hand- the old man barely reacting to the elevation.

Sesshoumaru lept into the air, sailing down the shrine steps in a fast descent, dark hair fanning out behind him. Kagome screamed, clutching his side as the demon carried them down like they were nothing more than pizza boxes he needed to deliver.

Touching down at the bottom of the stairs and releasing her, Sesshoumaru set Grandpa down, who hummed.

"Thank ye, Inuyasha."

"I am not Inuyasha."

Panting, Kagome clutched at the floor, whipping her head up to glare at him. "What the hell?! Don't do that without warning! Someone could've seen- Grandpa could've fallen!"

Sesshoumaru snorted. "You act as though this one could make such an error."

Growling, she straightened and started wheeling the old man down the street. Trying to ignore the thrilling flush of her cheeks or the memory of flying through the air on Kirara or Inuyasha's back, she shook herself. Her heart hadn't thundered so fast in years. "Behave yourself or we go home."

Cutting his eyes to the sky, Sesshoumaru followed at a languid pace.

---

Tokyo proved to be ridiculously large. Sesshoumaru had assumed he'd be able to traverse the city on his own if the two mortals slowed him down, but as it was, he feared getting lost within the bowels of technology, noisy arcades and large buildings.

Walking around made him more aware of the ill-fitting suit jacket, though he did not protest. Oddly enough the miko took him to a store and bought a sleek black jacket that was more his size. He'd glanced at the price tag and noticed the card she used to pay, wondering how she supported herself.

Kagome took him to more shops and bought more casual wear for the house, including a grey oversized hoodie that he resolved to burn the second they got back.

Finally sitting down at a table outside a cafe, Sesshoumaru took a few breaths. Smells from many different types of foods flooded his nostrils, along with the deafening sounds of thousands of people moving around in huge clusters. He'd been trying to ignore it for hours. His head spun with the onslaught of new sensations and scents. Too much.

"Hey-" Kagome touched his shoulder. "Are you alright?"

Sesshoumaru eyed her, nostrils flaring. Unfortunately, her usual pleasant scent radiating from her hair had been tarnished by the dye. His attention slid to the material wrapped around her neck.

"Give me your scarf."

"Hm?" She blinked but readily relinquished it, handing it over. "Cold?"

"No," he scoffed, wrapping it around his neck and ducking his nose into the material, inhaling. The scent of gentle citrus and warm home comforts filled his senses, soothing them like a gentle caress.

Kagome's cheeks reddened and she glanced away, helping Grandpa eat his soup.

"Izumi?"

Jolting, she looked up in time with Sesshoumaru, who eyed the young male standing near their table with immediate annoyance. He looked happy and star-struck, no doubt harbouring a crush on the miko.

Kagome forced a smile and stood. "Ryota, hey. How are things?"

"They're good! I'm so happy to see you out and about," he burst. "You should've called me- you know you're welcome to come around any time. Dad wouldn't mind!"

"I'm sure he wouldn't," she smiled delicately, not protesting as Ryota took her hand and squeezed it.

Sesshoumaru bristled and busied himself with sipping his tea.

"Ah um- Ryota, this is my friend, Nao," Kagome introduced Sesshoumaru, who inclined his head. Ryota bowed slightly, eyes darting between them questioningly and finding his attention caught on the pink scarf wrapped snugly around the demon's neck. While Kagome chatted some more, Sesshoumaru dipped his head and inhaled the material again, maintaining eye contact with the male. Ryota looked mildly creeped out, which only made Sesshoumaru preen, thinking he'd successfully intimidated him.

"Kagome, did you get me some green tea?" Grandpa spoke up.

Instead of being suspicious, Ryota merely looked sympathetic as she nudged the tea into his hand and carefully helped him take a sip, arthritis having made his fingers stiff.

"I see your Grandpa hasn't improved," the young man whispered to her, before raising his voice to an obnoxiously loud, patronising level. Or at least Sesshoumaru thought of it that way. "Hello, sir! HOW… ARE… YOU… TODAY?" Ryota patted Grandpa on the shoulder.

He grumbled sourly in response, sipping his tea. It didn't detour the teen, who smiled at Kagome.

"Well, the offer is always open, Izumi. It must be so lonely up in that shrine by yourself."

"I'm really alright. I have Grandpa for company," Kagome gently dismissed.

"Give me a text any time. I gotta get back to class but I'll see you later," he said amiably, hurrying into the passing crowd while checking his watch.

Waving him away, Kagome retook her seat with a sigh, "whew. He's sweet but I feel like saying 'buddy, I'm actually old enough to be your mom'," she giggled, pausing and noticing Sesshoumaru's stare. "What?"

"Nothing."

Feeling the need to explain, she sighed. "I was friends with his father in school. I can't hang around him too much or there's a chance Hojo might show up and likely recognise me. I faked my death years ago because I stopped ageing and have been posing as Souta's daughter ever since. We've arranged it so that I look like I'm homeschooled. This way… I can keep living at the shrine and looking after Grandpa."

"That explains why you do not leave the grounds much," he uttered, reading the menu and flicking his gaze up to her. "You are afraid."

"Wouldn't you be?" Kagome snorted. "People might perform science experiments on me if they knew I wasn't ageing!"

"I do not think that is the reason behind your fear."

She bristled and glanced away, telling him he'd hit the nail on the head. "Who knew you were the type to psychoanalyse," forcing a smile, she giggled and stood. "Drink your tea. I'll go pay for our things," she wandered off.

Sesshoumaru watched her go, halting Grandpa's chair without looking as the old man unknowingly tried to wheel backwards into traffic.

"You should take better care of her, Inuyasha," the old man huffed.

"Hn," his eyes remained on the miko.

---

Several hours later, after they'd seen the sights of the city some more and experienced a train ride, the small group had wandered home and immediately headed to bed. Sesshoumaru appeared within her bedroom not long after.

A dark halo of ebony hair spread out on her pillows, the locks curled in disarray. He noted that she slept very quietly, knees tucked up and hands drawn close to her chest. She looked every bit as beautiful and innocent as he'd figured a young priestess could be, but the shapely line of her legs and outline of certain curves made him certain she'd kept up her physical training long after the need for bows and arrows had died out. A pity her powers had been malnourished.

The bed dipped with his weight as he sat beside her, large claw-tipped hand reaching out- thumb ghosting over her parted lips, hovering over the pulse at her neck.

Kinship with a human felt odd. Yet he couldn't deny the telltale flickers of relatability he'd witnessed. He too, remained the same as others around him grew old. That was the price of keeping company with mortals. She was like him, and yet not. Instead of becoming integrated with humans as he had, she'd shut herself away within the shrine; afraid of the pain of loss. Kagome wore loneliness like a cloak, draping it around her protectively. She was now more like a demon than a human in lifespan, but her heart was not befitting of one. Now she almost resembled a half-demon.

And she needed a pack.

Some sickening, cloying emotion dried up his throat, leaving it parched and scratched. It hurt to swallow. His claws quivered, merely inches from delicate skin, before his fingers clenched and drew away.

Kagome did not stir as he moved off the bed, leaving as silently as he'd appeared.

Unbeknownst to the demon, deep blue eyes slowly drew open.

---

"You have not asked about them," he pointed out a few days later.

Kagome paused in her cleaning, before resuming scrubbing a pot with distracted motions. "I guess not."

Memories rose to the surface like a scuffed knee threatening to bleed but Kagome shook them away. "I'm not ready to know what happened to them yet," she amended, softer. "What about you though, how's your uh… stronghold?"

Sesshoumaru blinked languidly. "What?"

"Your palace?" she tried again, seeing another equally blank look. "Estate?" Groaning when he said nothing, Kagome waved her hands in frustration. "Aren't you a Lord or something?"

"Ah," he finally responded, glancing away dismissively. "You heed Jaken too much. I have no official home."

It was Kagome's turn to stare. "H-hah?"

Sesshoumaru arched a delicate brow as though she were the foolish one for daring to assume a regal demon clad in expensive silks had a shiny castle to return to. "My father was a General, and he claimed territory over the Western Lands, but he did not rule it like a Lord. My mother is more high born than he. She dwells within a castle and has noble blood-"

Kagome's eyes lit up.

"But I have no lands to inherit."

She deflated. "So you're a vagabond."

He brushed some hair over one shoulder. "I prefer to think of it as; no one may house me. I may go where I please."

Kagome eyed him dryly. "You're single, aren't you?"

He bristled. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Figures," Kagome huffed and lifted the pot, walking to the cupboard as she dried it. "You sound like some sort of playboy bachelor with that 'no one can house me' stuff. Honestly, now that I'm paying attention, you really do sound as young as you look. Like you're 19-" she stopped herself from bumping into his chest as he suddenly stood close.

"... I do not take many lovers," he muttered. "But when I do, it is not for 'play.' I assure you I can be quite serious in a relationship." He loomed closer, breath fanning over her cheek. "Do you wish for a sample?" He asked in a silky voice.

Kagome flushed and huffed, elbowing him out of the way to put the pot within a cupboard. What a joker.

----

Wandering downstairs that night, Kagome stopped, noticing something and doing a double-take. Sesshoumaru lay sprawled on the couch, silver hair tumbling down onto the floor as he slept soundlessly. Pyon was curled up on his stomach-and even stranger was the fact that Sesshoumaru's arm curled beneath him, supporting the feline from falling off.

Kagome crept closer, looking at them from over the back of the couch.

She examined his face in the dim light. It was ridiculously, absurdly handsome, closed long lashes hiding golden eyes that could pierce through her shell and pry into her essence. Cheekbones you could cut diamonds with, framed by neatly parted, snowy bangs.

All the magic from Kagome's experiences in the feudal era was now contained in this one man. A demon that most feared and cowered before. She wondered if she wanted him close simply because of nostalgia, or because he brought her joy in his quiet sarcasm and stable presence.

But he'd leave her too, one day.

Kagome's smile bent into a painful curl of her lips.

Sesshoumaru's nostrils flared and he inhaled- before golden eyes slid open. She stiffened and tried to smooth her forlorn expression into something more amiable. "S-sorry, I'm not watching you sleep, I swear!" she babbled. "Was just wondering if you'd checked the Bone Eater's Well for any changes tonight."

"No."

"Ah, gotcha," Kagome floundered. "At least when it does open, your injuries have all healed so you're fine to go."

"Is that what you want?"

She stopped, feeling like she'd been denied an expected step on the stairs and felt her foot plummet through the ground. Reeling, her heart picked up speed. "Of course it is," Kagome said quickly, turning away. "The Fuedal Era is where you belong, silly. You've been a lovely guest. Really, I've enjoyed it. For a vagabond, you fold your clothes neatly and don't make a mess. You read a lot, so it's still pretty quiet, but you also..." her voice became brittle, "you also- play shoji with Grandpa and make great tea. When I do things, I know you're not too far away. It's been nice. I mean that."

Making to walk away, she was halted by a firm hand catching her wrist. Sesshoumaru had sat up now, disturbing the cat and staring at her with unblinking eyes.

"You should come with me."

Her stomach twisted and she shook her head, looking at him with tired eyes. "I can't."

"Nonsense."

"I have Grandpa to look after."

"Your brother could easily-"

"No, he couldn't," Kagome cut in. "Souta has a wife and a big family to support. He gives us money- weren't you wondering how we're kept afloat? I try to help by doing online work but Grandpa isn't someone you can just expect to look after so easily on top of everything else. I couldn't ask or expect Souta to take over just for me to run off and play in the Feudal Era again, abandoning a life I've known for decades now."

White teeth flashed, exposing a sneer in the dim light, his eyes narrow. "Your Grandfather will be dead soon."

Sesshoumaru never regretted anything. He was too strong, too proud, too confident to make a misstep. And yet at that moment, he regretted the words immediately after they were out.

If she were younger, still the spirited girl of 15 he'd known and the person she outwardly resembled- Sesshoumaru wagered she'd have slapped him. Instead, the miko gave him something that felt altogether much worse; a look of disappointment.

As a demon, he never felt like a young pup except within the presence of his mother and ancient elders, but he experienced it again, watching as she slowly padded to the threshold of the doorway.

"Yeah, he will be. And after Grandpa and Souta go, I'm never going to get attached to anyone again. It's too painful. But I'm making the most of the time with him I have left. Besides," Kagome glanced at him tiredly. "From where we sit, won't everyone eventually be dead soon?"

Sesshoumaru's eyes flickered as she left. The image of Rin with her husband and children, all eventually greying and leaving him alone passed through his mind.

It was true, the miko could theoretically return with him to the past. However, what awaited her would be the same. Time's cruelty working it's will on her friends and everyone she'd used to know in the village.

Drawing himself up and absentmindedly grabbing Bakusaiga, Sesshoumaru wandered to the Well House. He stood within its damp structure for a while in silence, not particularly waiting for a response any more, rather trying to gather his scattered thoughts.

The scent of nameless magic stirred in the breeze. He stiffened, lifting his head and scenting the cool air. Silver bangs lifted to sway, silks rustling. With a small hop, he stood on the mouth of the well, gazing into its dark depths.

With just one jump he'd be home.

Sesshoumaru's muscles coiled, heart thundering. Pushing off from the edge, he took the plunge.

----

Stifling the sound of tears in the bathroom by keeping the faucet running and muffling sobs into her hand, Kagome cried. She hadn't done so in a long time. The action felt childish, but a welcome sensation. Pent up stress, loneliness and frustration burst like a dam. She'd felt the whisper of magic. The call back to the Bone Eater's Well. It had been fleeting, gone now, along with any happy feelings that had been elicited because of Sesshoumaru's surprise presence into her life.

"Stupid," she mumbled, splashing her face with water while bending over the sink. "Stupid, stupid- he was always going to leave."

I shouldn't have gotten attached.

But Kagome was a people person at heart. She'd been afraid. So deathly afraid of getting close to someone and having them leave again. Why had she slipped? Because he would live a long time, just like her?

"That doesn't make him beholden to me- stupid, stupid-"

"Enough."

A jolt shuddered through her system, making Kagome whip her head up to blink at the mirror. Sesshoumaru's reflection lingered in the open doorway behind her, crossing the distance between them as she turned. Lithe fingers ceased her chin. "It is admirable, how hard you have tried to appear unruffled and happy, miko," he muttered lowly. "But you cannot fool my superior senses. I have felt you crying out for pack all this time."

Her expression shuddered, crumbling before his very eyes. "Y-you stayed?" she croaked.

"Naturally," a sharp claw brushed over her jaw gently, collecting the evidence of forgotten tears. "Something I have come to understand over the years is that; One does not abandon pack." 

Kagome's breathing hitched, feeling the keen press of a great weight sinking into her chest and rendering her exhausted. Relief. Wilting like a flower, she leaned into his strong frame, burying her face in the warmth of his shoulder. The demon lowered his head slightly, both soaking in the presence and stability of the other for a moment. Her thin shoulders shook, small noises escaping her.

He growled into her hair. "Your idea of remaining unattached does not suit you. Look at yourself, miko. You grew attached to me of all beings," he smirked slightly. "I do not think you can handle remaining separate from people. You love humans too much. And… besides that… I believe it should be you telling me to make the most of the time spent with others, not the other way around. To make bonds, and keep them."

Lifting her head, Kagome brushed the hot trace of tears away and sniffed. "But it hurts," she said in a wobbling tone. "Aren't you scared of outliving Rin and everyone else in the village?"

"I am not afraid. She and her husband have shared many years together, and I will watch over their offspring for generations," he paused, considering. "Though I am...uncertain how I shall process the grief once it comes."

"You're still going back, aren't you?" Kagome murmured.

"Indeed, and you are coming with me."

She sighed, rubbing her forehead. "Grandpa-"

"We will stay for as long as he lives. After that, you should return home, miko."

Kagome threw him a weary smirk. "And if I refuse?"

"Then, I suppose this one is staying in the Modern Era."

Blue eyes flew wide, fingers curling in his clothes and tightening. She rested her cheek against his shoulder again, letting out a long exhale and calming when his chin rested against the crown of her head.

---

Sesshoumaru did not regret his decision. It was to be just three months before Grandpa passed away in the night. He imagined what would've happened to the miko if he'd left her alone; how she stood together with the other humans at the wake and yet apart. It was the most amount of human's he'd witnessed within the shrine at the same time. Detached via some thin veil, Kagome moved around them like vapour. Cordial and polite, yes, but surface level and unattached. Everyone referred to her as Izumi. No one inquired about her grief.

Souta hugged his sister after the funeral ceremony, and she clung to him. After a little while, however, she lifted her head smiled, letting him go check on his five children.

Sesshoumaru drew close to her side, sweeping his gaze down her black kimono. The colour only brought out the pallor of her skin. He did not speak, but she seemed to read his unspoken question.

"It wasn't as hard as Mama's funeral," she murmured, rubbing her eyes. "I think I'd like to get away from all this for a while though. Wanna come for a drive with me?"

He arched an elegant brow. "You know how to?"

"I got my licence when I was still Kagome Higurashi," she stuck out her tongue. "Souta will let me borrow his car. Come on."

After grabbing the keys, they walked through the graveyard where the remains of cremations had been buried. Passing by a Hinako Higurashi whom Sesshoumaru assumed to be the miko's mother, he stopped upon seeing a certain grave.

'Kagome Higurashi'

He stared, unable to identify what he felt looking at the grave.

"Are you coming?" Kagome called from ahead.

Shaking himself, the demon left it alone, but carried those feelings with him even as he walked away.

---

Driving through the city that night, Kagome tightened her hands on the steering wheel. Despite having lived with Grandpa longer than anyone at the funeral, she just couldn't mourn with the family. Instead of talking about it, she glanced at Sesshoumaru and smiled gently.

"I'm ready to hear about them now."

And he told her, detailing how Inuyasha had fallen in love with a woman who passed through the village one day, about four years after the well had closed. She'd been looking for someone to escort her through dangerous territory. She was not miko nor demon Slayer but a competent hunter who seemed to bear a chip on her shoulder. Inuyasha had gravitated to her like a moth to a flame. Upon their return, they'd announced themselves as a couple and married soon after, two sons following.

Kagome listened, expression wistful. The street lights played over her face as they passed by buildings, her eyes a deep blue, mournful yet pleased at the same time. Sesshoumaru went on to talk about Rin's marriage to Kohaku, Shippo's growth and proficiency in magic, Kaede's passing and Miroku and Sango's fourth child.

They sounded happy, and her heart swelled for them.

Pulling the car over to take a detour down a path on the outskirts of the city, she followed the trail up to a hill that overlooked a harbour. Sitting on the hood together and gazing at the stars, her hand found his.

Ageless attention slid to the miko, who kept her doleful gaze on the heavens. "...Life expectancy isn't very high in the feudal era," she murmured quietly.

He knew her unspoken fears. Going back only to lose her mortal friends within a few years of her return no doubt felt daunting.

Long, deadly fingers shifted to close around hers, holding firmly.

"This one will stay with you," he uttered.

Kagome looked at him, hope starting to coax itself alive in her eyes. "R-really?"

"Hn," the demon rumbled, a vow in his voice. "I will be your constant."

Quelling under the seriousness conveyed in his expression, Kagome exhaled. She touched his shoulder, curling her hand there and smiling shyly, daring to believe him. "Even you'll die one day, Killing Perfection."

A velvety, confident chuckle rumbled out of him. "Not for another 2,000 years or so. Perhaps more. Is that sufficient?"

"I guess it'll have to be," Kagome teased, curling into his side and sighing as his large hand splayed over her back. "When you get close to the end..." she said softly, words a whispered, fragile thing. A vow, just as he'd promised for her. "I'll stop there. When you go, I'll go."

Sesshoumaru glanced down at her, tightening his arm and curling a hand into dark, wild hair. The two continued to bask in one another's energies, faint youki and reiki playing across their skin and weaving in a playful, familiar skitter of auras, finally lacing together firmly like clasped fingers.

Months later, Higurashi Shrine would open to the public again, sold by Souta and allowing the structure to be placed under a new family name.

There was no Izumi Higurashi or mysterious 'Nao' walking around the grounds any more. Tree branches swayed, leaves rustling and falling loose to dance around the forgotten well house, which had been boarded up due to disrepair.

The magic within had finally run completely dry; spent on transporting an immortal miko and prideful demon back home.

End

[animefinatic]

Fire Force: 1st thoughts/impression

Okay so I’ve been hearing some murmurs about this anime for a while but because I weird I move slow when it comes to new anime for some reason, mainly because I want something to binge. But since getting Hulu recently I’ve been watching a lot of nostalgic shows (Digimon s1-3 and Yuyu Hakusho along with some old school nickelodeon and cartooonnetwork shows) but I’ve decided to finally get around to watching something new for a change. I’m not done with season 1 (episode 12)yet so I’m just going to give some 1st impressions on a few characters. Just some general thoughts, I’m sure overall feelings will change as i finish what’s currently out so don’t get bent outta shape if I don’t like someone or mention someone. Also be respectful if you’re a manga reader.

World building: The whole people turning into infernals at the drop of a dime and killing other people and the rest of humanity seems to have all been clustered in some small ass piece of japan lowkey put me in the mind of AOT (humanity being behind walls, the monster being humans all along type shit) I went into this thinking the protagonist is some sort of form of internal with that logic.

Shinra: Sharp teeth. I’m not into the whole teeth thing (Rin from Free, Soul from Soul Eater, Kirishima are swell in their own way but i was never a fan of their teeth) I like his little ‘smile in tense situation quirk because bless his heart i know when he’s nervous or tense about something. He’s a good kid all the same and he lowkey gave me Izuku vibes because they want to be a hero but he also gives me Rin (Blue Exorcist) vibes because he gets a bad rep and being called Devil even though he’s really sweet and has a good character. Seeing him in action I can’t help but think how would he do in the my hero universe (he’d kick so much ass) Has a typical shonen protag tragic backstory about his mother and brother and so has a reason to be in the fire force, I like the drive to be a hero from that kid dream he had, I look forward to him finding the answers he seeks while also not looking forward to seeing him fight his kid brother (I fucking swear if he has to kill his own brother I will fucking scream)

Akitaru: Oh my god fucking hot, fucking cute that's my husbando right there. When he called Shinra’s smiling quirk cute I fucking melted. The Dad (and daddy) of this squad I see him looking out for the other and providing a solid foundation of justice. a swell guy that has the whole groups trust and respect and I just hope nothing happens to this man. When Joker gave Shinra a reason to doubt the fire force i was a little nervous but so far so good team 8 seems to have been formed for a specific reason bc the other teams are lowkey shady.

Hinawa: stereotypical glasses character, annoyingly strict, and give the mc a hard time. In comparison to captain he annoyed me, by putting down my boy Shinra without giving him a real chance, (it wasn’t Nighteye lvl of annoying  but still) but overtime I’ve warned up to him, I tend to like the glasses characters too (Kyoya...I blame Kyoya) so by this point I see he’s a caring individual in his own way, what sold me is when he pulls Shinra aside to check on him and ask if he was ok...also mans can cook so bonus.

Maki: Mikasa vibes, just a woman with some muscle but she seems very insecure about it. I like she’s such a romantic maiden at heart though. I like her Sputter flames, so cute it made me think of calsifer from Howl’s moving castle.

Iris: I took one look at her and went: a sister. oh fuck religion is going to be a big influence in this show. Ignoring my own personal bias feelings of religion it seems she serves the purpose of praying for the souls of those who turned nothing too special about her, she’s sweet even though she has her tragic backstory with everyone but her and Hibana watched the whole damn church burn. 

Arthur: Annoying. I thought he was gonna be some sort of edgy rival for Shinra since they seem to fight on sight. However he’s kinda this cute idiot. But his knight at the round table schtick is kinda aggy he reminds me of that one classmate in my class that took Shakespeare too seriously. Maybe he’ll warm up on me later he has got to be more than the idiot blond (maybe at some point they’ll drop a back story on him)

Tamaki: Adorable, her powers make her look like a twin tailed cat (I not sure but I think there is like fire yokai so it works for the fire theme of this show) and I love cats so she's adorable. However this trend of her being clumsy af all of a sudden and becoming undressed and/or being groped or touched by Shinra accidentally only for her to hit the hell out of him is a trope i kinda want to die already like it’s not even funny. I’m an elder weeb so i’m not new to this but idk if it just my old age but I’m kinda over it. So even though I found her so cute earlier she’s almost annoying me even though its not her fault its the creator. 

Hibana: Bad bitch, she had dudes as her chair and had dudes lined at her feet like a red (in this case orange) carpet. Love seeing a black woman thrive (she’s brown skinned or whatever so I’m claiming her as black until further notice).Stunning, only I hate the oddly shaped eyes (it works given her power is flowers and her eyes are in a shape of a flower) but it was jarring to see it. It reminded me of Nia teppelin (Gugrren laggan) did she make me wanna stomp her for messing with my boy Shinra? yes. But I kept wondering why was I so awed by her I looked up her VA and it made sense, fucking Riza Hawkeye and Erza Scarlett (I am watching it dubbed, blame Hulu for not letting me have an option for sub but its whatever I’m committing to the dub for now) and well I respected her more. Also love how she wasn’t actually into that religion stuff even though she was taken in by the sisters. Now her moment with Iris after she got her shit rocked, sweet, adorable, so cute. Also her sudden affections for Shinra going forward is cute not sure if I ship anyone at this point but adorable is adorable I can not deny that.

Rekka: My stars that annoying. I also cringed because it reminded me of (yagamiyato’siida if you know then you know) And again with the weird ass eyes its not missed on mean that Hoshi is means star and its a part of his surname. But he went from 0-100 real quick once I realized he’s who Shinra is looking for and once again  me being wary over religion is validated through the white coats or Evangelist running around turning people into infernals on purpose (once again we back on some AOT shit) this man is bat shit crazy but he somewhat succeeded I wonder what it means for that kid who happened to be compatible with that bug thing (and of course Shinra is special bc the bug reacted to his fire) anyway what I learned from this character than religion got this universe all the way fucked up and the direct result of this is that religion has a firm hold in government and I know this is not finna be good.

[ambitionsource]

can we just talk about nigel... walk us through him please

i’m 2 months late to answering this, but yes. yes we can! i’ll try to give the same general portrait of him as i did in the past with like nate and stuff, hopefully it will be somewhat coherent bc i love him and he deserves to be appreciated and understood just as much as our other fave a class kiddos

so as we all know damn well at this point, nigel is an aspiring actor. he’s one of the few students in the a class who has a very core passion that he doesn’t waver from (like in the way maya, farkle, yindra, riley, etc. kind of just do lots of everything -- and eat up the opportunities in their wake LOL -- nigel is like zay in that they both have very clear areas of expertise that they dedicate most of their energy and passion to). and though he’s not as intense or vocal about it, acting is extremely important to nigel. actually, the whole process and experience of being an actor is, from the character work to the play reading and annotating to those moments of actual delivery. he’s an actor in his bones, equally as dedicated as maya or zay just significantly more outwardly laid back about it.

that being said, i feel like all you have to do to really get a sense of how deeply he cares about it is to... ask him about it. like if you get him talking about shakespeare, any of his plays, the kid who always seems so quiet and laid back will be talking a mile a minute and unpacking the nuances and brilliance of shakespeare’s works faster than you can keep up. he’s also like this -- tho not to the same degree as acting -- about classical music / jazz / a capella choirs / orchestra (since he plays the violin), local cafes + coffee, nostalgic story-driven cartoons like digimon that he watched on pbs when he was younger, and editorial cartoons. like he’s the friend that sends yindra and zay his favorite political cartoon from the new york times every sunday to their group chat (and after some time, jade gets these excerpts too). he’s also decently savvy about fashion, at least the lowkey hipster art deco pretentious chic type of fashion. i think he’s similar to asher, riley, and charlie in that he comes off a certain way and everyone assumes they know what he’s like bc he’s great a maintaining this calm persona, but those who really know him know that it’s all a charade and he’s extremely nerdy, excitable, enthusiastic, and impassioned, etc. if he’s comfortable with you, then you get the full nigel chey experience with all those quirks and eccentricities.

part of the reason nigel has the calm, unbothered persona, though, is mainly because of his family. he has a good relationship with his parents and his siblings, but he comes from a family where there’s a lot to juggle and so many things going at once that it behooves him and makes him feel better to be out of the way and not adding to anyone’s plate. as we mentioned on the income scale, nigel is one of the scholarship students at aaa, so much of his parents’ time is dedicated to making ends meet and looking out for all of the chey children. nigel has a few siblings, but the age gap for the most part isn’t that wide. he has an older sister who is one year ahead of him in school (but is not an artist, she’s studying to be a school counselor), a younger sister who is a freshman, a younger brother who is in middle school, and then the baby brother of the family who was unplanned and thus is quite a few years younger than the rest of them. so they’re a crowded, hectic little clan, and nigel feels like the best thing he can do is just stay out of the way as much as possible and be useful when he can. so he’s become very good at internalizing unpleasant emotions, letting things go, and not getting riled up (esp by provocation of younger siblings). in some ways, this has also made him a bit of a doormat, as we see in some scenes with yindra and zay where their personalities are just so much louder than his so he tends to default to them or try to keep the peace.

nigel also puts a lot of pressure on himself because of the money situation in their family as well as the unspoken expectations of his parents. both of them are supportive of him pursuing acting, and they always do their best to make it to at least one of his performances, but they’ve taken pains to make it understood that nigel is going to have to work his ass off simply because they don’t have the means or industry savvy to help give him a leg up (like half of his classmates do). like, they wholeheartedly supported his application to aaa -- especially his dad, who is a bit of a lit nerd himself and loves shakespeare / passed that on to him -- but they made it clear that if he couldn’t get a scholarship, it just wouldn’t be feasible. thankfully, that worked out for the best, but i think nigel lives very aware of that threat nipping at his heels at all times and that’s part of why he throws himself so deeply into the work and was basically oblivious to any other form of Teenagerdom (i.e., jade’s crush or his potential feelings for anyone) for most of his time at aaa.

there’s also a bit of an internal pressure in wanting desperately to make his family proud and feel secure about his future in such an unstable career. like his mom is an analytical mind, she was studying to be an engineer when she was in college but then she dropped out to help take care of nigel’s maternal grandparents and so she never got to realize that for herself and i think she has a lot of anxiety about nigel ending up in a similar situation where he isn’t as secure or happy as she wants him to be. but she doesn’t really like... understand in her head that thats where her hesitation is coming from + the fact that she just isnt an artist and doesnt really get why doing such a risky career would be worthwhile. she supports him, but doesn’t logically Get it. so i think nigel wants to be able to Prove to her he’s got it under control, that he’ll be okay, so that then they can just enjoy his passion as much as he does without worrying about him at the same time. he’s also the first son of the family, and so he has a sort of subconscious pressure as well from masculinity in terms of like coming out successful and able to help support his family, both his and the one he builds in the future with a partner. so big melting pot of anxieties and pressures going on in that beautiful nerdy head of his, but he doesn’t talk about it really even with people he trusts (like yindra and zay) nor do i think he truly understands himself that he’s carrying all that around. it will probably hit him eventually. guess we’ll find out someday!

(fun fact: nigel’s mom also does side work as a seamstress, so that’s part of why he has such a natural appreciation for that type of work. now who else do we know who is a masterful seamstress... hm... its on the tip of my tongue...)

all of that being said, at his core nigel truly is a very laidback guy. its somewhat a persona, but it also is true to his inner self. he’s passionate, but in a tempered and healthy way. i think that sometimes, despite how creative he is in many aspects, he struggles to think outside the box and off the beaten path because of how important measured success and competence is to him. so things like maya doing whatever the fuck she wants and yindra thinking about skipping college and just jumping into the industry don’t compute for him (the same way all of it doesn’t really click for his mom), and as we know, he sometimes becomes frozen in inaction because that feels safer or more logical. and he’s just never going to be the diva that zay or maya or farkle can be, and he’s content with that. if he’s going to make it, in his head, he’s going to achieve it through hard work, dedication, attention to craft, and being a decent person who people enjoy working with. and he also definitely understands the importance of knowing who to trust and having that tight inner circle, i.e., what he has with the true star squad of yindra and zay.

-- Maggie