#bc I feel like I’ve had to build myself up to be scarier than I was to be left alone at various times when I was younger

[raraeavesmoriendi]

I just finished last night and I have some questions for people who have read mike bockoven’s fantasticland -

[for those who have not:

- take a climate change-charged hurricane that’s the worst noaa has seen in recent memory and the first to hit daytona beach since 1960

- throw it at a Not-Disney-World Florida theme park with major national nostalgia, where a bunch of the Not-Disney College Program kids and some adult staff have opted to get paid extra to stay inside the park through the storm to prevent looting

- watch as people trapped within the park for more than a month - still with plenty of food and water, mind you - lose their minds, fragment into factions, and begin going full battle royale/lord of the flies on each other

- tell the whole thing testimonial style with different witnesses interviewed each chapter, a la World War Z, with some insanely unreliable narrators to boot

if that sounds like your kind of horror novel, give it a go. it’s not perfect (especially when they call the factions ‘tribes,’ which. yikes.) but I tore through it in like, two days.]

okay, questions below, spoilers for the novel:

1. …is the pirate who comforted the little boy who was evacuating, in interview three with the kansas city dad, Brock Hockley? am I reading too much into that?

like. I don’t remember that we ever get a description of him, so I don’t know about the “weird beard/mustache thing” the dad describes, but just. the emphasis put on “I’d like to shake his hand. I might even give him a hug.” feels so purposeful. part of me wonders if that’s supposed to add some further hindsight horror to what happened in the park and then his prison interview. he says early that he found making little kids happy a fulfilling and rewarding part of his job as a character actor in the park, and we know other people found him charismatic enough to follow, not just because they were scared but bc he could have these moments of surface-level charm or rationality (the code, etc.)

idk, I just thought it felt a bit too one-off to read it as Just Some Guy. but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I could be wrong.

2. we never get any hint as to the identity of the warthog couple, right? I remember the FNG found their masks discarded outside the World Circus, they’re first mentioned in the book as hanging around/inside the circus, and the guy from the Dreamland Hotel interview talks about still getting postcards from them whenever he moves (scariest part of the whole book for me ngl), so we can assume they were walked out with the rest of the survivors. I just wasn’t sure if there was anything else to do with them that I missed.

I’m still thinking about the fact that they turned the Dreamland lobby into a torture theater. like… who was that for? just for them, or did they have an audience? probably not, right? since they weren’t affiliated with anyone? but still. also, who were they taking there, just people they could pick off???

hmm. I wonder if any casualties thought to be faction-related were actually theirs.

3. in Travis’s interview (the guy with the body camera), do we know who the girl is that they found in the crawlspace of the employee locker room? the one whispering “Mommy” over and over? there were enough survivors left that she could be someone we didn’t encounter before, but I just thought I’d check that there wasn’t some other interview where someone describes a girl running off to hide. the Anonymous shopgirl mentioned one of the girls disappeared during the cannon raid on Pirate turf with the Deadpool soldiers before they turned on each other, so I wondered if it could be her.

4. Brock in his interview mentions that Sam Garlieck’s people were terrorizing others during the power outage in the storm shelter, specifically mentioning an instance of sexual assault. does anyone else corroborate this in their interview? Adam Jakes sounds skeptical, saying his research would have turned that up by now, but the only people we really hear from about that period are Sam himself (obviously an unreliable narrator, like, duh) and Stuart Dietz, who mentioned that Sam definitely killed Maria Flynn. did anyone see any other mentions of this anywhere, or did we just move straight out of the storm shelters and never talk about them again once we get to the park? is this just Brock being an unreliable narrator himself to justify how things went down? (but then why would he need to be, when Bryce definitely died?? although he himself says that wasn’t as big a motivator as people writing about him want it to be, so maybe that’s moot)

5. not really a question just an observation: Stuart Dietz, the maintenance guy/Mole Man, is the only person to get two interviews in the entire novel. Not Sam, not Jill, not Brock. I don’t know, I just find that really interesting why he was selected to come back twice. I know part of it is to describe the botched demolition, but I’m also wondering what effect it has on the novel that the only person we hear from multiple times is an older dude from one of the pointedly non-aggressive factions.

6. in looking through posts already in the tag, I don’t quite follow some readers’ comments that there was an attempt at a “cell phones bad!!” message here. I feel like every time it’s come up, it’s been shown by Adam Jakes (author stand-in) to be minimizing what really happened and looking for an easy scapegoat. I don’t think that was part of the intended story at all, I think it’s just been stated over and over as people using an excuse to not think themselves capable of similar violence. just wanted to put that out there.

anyway. one of my favorite things about novels with multi-witness perspectives is finding threads that leave off in one person’s story and pick up in another, so I’m going through my digital copy and highlighting all the places two different interviews tie together (Austin’s fate, the guy who botched branding Adrienne as part of his Pirate initiation, etc.)

if anyone else has noticed anything interesting, I’m all ears 👀

[tslasvegas]

Episode 8: “On the upside we got the numbers.” - Andrew (who is then voted out by those numbers)

It’s always a sad and unfortunate thing when a player needs to leave a game for personal reasons. I’m wishing Kevin all the best! 

Welp. I don't wanna say that this sucks, but this sucks. My closest ally walked from the game, and I hope he's ok. I really hope everything is ok with him. But now, I'm a green in a world of pinks. What my pink friends don't realize though, is I have a Safety Without Power advantage. Nobody knows about it. So if we lose, they cannibalize themselves, and that will be a sight to see. But I'd like to keep my advantage for as long as possible. But if we lose, that'll be a fun tribal council. I can only hope it's a double tribal. Now this - this is a redemption arc.

If a merge at 13 is next, then we are done! ugh. 

MERGE HAPPENS

We merged!! And I only had to attend a single tribal council in the premerge with 8 eliminations. That’s wild! We’re sitting here in merge with 7 OG Palazzo, 3 OG Bellagio and 3 OG Luxor. If Palazzo sticks together, we’d have the majority whichever way you look at it. However, I don’t imagine that group is going to stick together very long. Joey wants to get myself and Jaiden into single digits. I’d love to help get Jake into single digits as well. And I’d also like to get Livingston to at least 6th place. Honestly a group of that 5 sounds like a pretty good idea, and I might pitch it to Joey later today. And now we’re doing mastermind! A game I love but rarely ever win. I usually come close and I’m hoping this time around I can snag a win and be safe this first tribal. Nothing is scarier than the merge round of the game. Anything at all can happen. There’s still some idols and extra votes floating around, maybe some steal a votes too. There’s also that safety without power and the legacy advantage, which may be able to be played this round? Exciting things are brewing im sure. 

We made the merge!!

So OG Palazzo must be tight. Good thing Steph and Joey are still reaching out. But I don't know if we can build up a resistance with the non-OGPalazzo. I mean, in theory, it can happen. 6 of us, with a steal a vote. But so much has happened voting on opposite sides, I don't know if it is doable. We can try. Better to go out blazing at 13th, than just waiting for your turn to be voted out before F7.

I MADE IT TO MERGE AGAIN... okay I feel good about my surroundings, as well as the people I’m next to. OG Palazzo wants to go all the way to Final 7, but I know that ain’t gonna happen, cause I’m turning on them as fast as humanly possible. I need others to see that I’m a strengthener to their games, and now that its every player for themselves, I think I can grab some allies and make shit happen. I have a Legacy Advantage, and I’m just trying to get to 6.

I’m sad I lost all my chips. On the upside we got the numbers

MERGE BITCH

Ok but for serious I don't have much to say so I'm just going to do an assessment of everyone on the tribe. Andrew - I thought I was gonna like Andrew bc I thought he was c*te then I find out he likes The Sims so there was something easy for us to talk about!! But then... come to find out. He's not really interested in talking I guess. So I'm just going to leave him alone and not carry on a conversation. Ben - WHY is Ben still here. I'm so annoyed. Ben tries so hard to be my ally but I don't trust him that much. Before the merge, he pitched a plan to pool our coins (meaning: I had to send him all of mine) so that I could spin the wheel and avoid going bankrupt. Then he said we're a final two. I was like,,, no thanks. I feel like he's going to blow up his game at some point, but I just gotta pretend better to be on his side. Idk how to do that exactly... Jake - Jake has been THE biggest surprise of the merge to be honest. I actually really like Jake. He's a little "irritating" I guess, but more in the sense that he is just pretty bro-y and that's not my energy. I respect Jake's desire to be great in Tumblr Survivor, we have that in common here. I think right now, Jake and I are as close as you can get to working together without actually being a legitimate alliance. I want to see where this takes us because he's a cool guy and I really feel bad for talking shit about him before the merge. Jeff - Part of me likes Jeff, but part of me views him as the enemy simply because he's part of the "Palazzo 7". I want to try and work on Jeff because maybe he and I see things the same way? I don't think this game is strictly "seven strong" like Joey perpetuates, I'll get to that in a minute though. Anyways, I want to see how things go with Jeff cuz he seems like a cool dude and I'm definitely a meninist and want to be his bitch! Joey - I hate that I'm in a position where I both know Joey is vital for my game right now, but also that I can't stand his strategy. I like him as a person, let's make that very clear for the post-season - I just don't subscribe to his idea that there's a seven person alliance (which btw includes him according to numbers???) running the show. I will definitely feel Joey out some more before I make any decision to attach myself to him fully or throw him to the wolves. John - THREAT. I'm on high alert for John and kinda trying to maintain a safe, social-distancing-approved level of space between us. I think that John is definitely running things at least in one or two circles and I don't want him to turn that target around on me. I also can't let him know that I'm onto him. John is probably playing it where everybody just likes him and includes him in plans, but in the event that he is pulling strings, that's where the issues start. Kailyn - I don't really care for Kailyn anymore tbh. I kinda think Kailyn is playing a good under the radar game and I think it's in a lot of people's benefit to send her off to the jury sooner rather than later. I have no read on who she's close with though so that's the danger. Probably John? But who knows. Keegan - I also am surprised that I like Keegan as much as I do. He seemed a little bit too smart for his own good? But he's actually rather nice. He flops like I do but I think he's a danger if I'm not careful. I'll keep on this guy and hopefully he doesn't target me <3 I'd rather work with Keegan than against him especially now. 

Livingston - WOW I thought I'd like Livingston but goddamn this guy is BORING. Not only does he not message back, but he has nothing interesting to provide to a conversation. If he was the first person to go this round I wouldn't really be upset oop Pat - We talked a lot about drag race. We played an org together and I remember now that Pat was fucking IRRELEVANT so I'm surprised to see this new energy. Who are you and what did you do with the real Pat? Stephanie - I don't really like Stephanie's strategy either, she's just too damn likable and kind of floats on by, I wish she had left last time instead of Rachael because then it's likely Rachael gets the boot soon. But we'll see what happens. I just hope that me voting for her isn't going to kill our relationship and we can work together at some point, at least until she gets voted out. Xavier - I have a hard time reading Xavier. I think I'm calmed down from feeling threatened by him. I trust Xavier enough to not go and screw up a vote again, but does he trust me? Don't really know. I want to work with Xavier at least for a couple votes but I know that he and Ben aren't on good terms and Ben is a vote that I need right now :/ The issue I have with Xavier is that he is positioning himself to kinda be a doormat just doing whatever people want and not necessarily.. taking control of how people look at him I guess. He sticks out for being the "dad" on the tribe and doesn't bring a lot of his own personality to conversation - it's just really basic strategy. I don't know anything about him that I didn't have to go fucking find out about him on his public YouTube. Insert clown emoji here. Anyways, overall I feel okay about my chances on this tribe... So far. I honestly don't see myself playing a winning game right now - BUT it's final thirteen and there is a lot of time to turn that around for myself. I feel good in comparison to my previous Tumblr Survivor seasons because there hasn't been a vote where I've completely made myself stand out like a sore thumb. My head is in a good place to finish out this game strong, just gotta put the pedal to the metal and work shit out. Maybe win a couple challenges! Whatever twists are ahead... I'm not prepared. But I am going to walk away from this season for the better, one way or another. Eight people down, twelve left to go. 

Well, I came close to winning but unfortunately didn't. Kailyn won immunity and we had a twist where we all had to choose between two buttons. Aaaaand Kailyn now has immunity this tribal and next tribal. Lovely. After the challenge, Andrew immediately threw out Jake's name, which was worrying but I think Jeff and I have managed to sway things towards Ben. Which is a little scary, since it's highly possible he has an idol or advantage (though he did play an idol on himself at the Rachael boot. So maybe not?) Now, the question is going to become: how do Livingston and myself navigate these next few tribals with Jake? We need to keep him safe and the target off his back. There's also Joey and Jaiden who I definitely want to keep working with moving forward. I think I'm in a decent spot. I really don't see Jaiden or Jake keeping their mouth shut if my name comes up. I think I've managed to build enough of a bond with them that they won't target me. My concern is definitely Ben being a little sneak, as well as Kailyn and Xavier, who really don't talk at all. John... can also be kinda sneaky and he also has been super quiet. However, when all is said and done, I just want a single digit placement. I don't care what happens before/after that, just please let me get there. 

My first merge in 3 seasons of Tumblr Survivor, finally! It would be awesome if the tyrannical force of pink wasn’t here. Right now I’m practically a sitting duck. I’ve made connections with Jaiden and Joey who I just met, I’m hoping they’d watch my back. Ben and I are great friends from outside the game, we’re called the Jew-O Duo, for obvious reasons. I’m in a duo with Jeff called Jeff Squared, a duo with Pat called The Best Men, a trio with Liv and Keegan (that’s super dangerous cause I know they’re friends), and me John and Xavier are the Luxor Losers. I should feel protected - but I don’t. I need to keep working socially and hope that I can scoot by a couple more rounds. I wanna buddy up with Steph and Kailyn, I have no interest in working with Andrew after he flat out told me he wasn’t turning on Pink. It could be me tonight. We’ll just have to see.

....five seconds later

No. No no no no no no no. I'm sick of Andrew trying to get me out, and then going after my allies instead. I can't just sit here and let him walk all over me the entire game. He has been wishy washy and fake with me since I met him. I'm not gonna play a game of what ifs, I'm taking a gamble and gonna get his own tribe to flip on him. I've got enough information from Jeff, Pat, and Liv to spin into a lie. I know Andrew said my name - but Jeff and Keegan changed it to Ben, so if I tell Keegan that Andrew blamed him on my name coming up I think I can flip him. I can try to get John, Ben, and Xavier, Keegan can get Liv and Joey, that's 7. If it blows up in my face - Oh well. This is season 99! We're high rolling now.

Had a nice long conversation with Jake this morning. Andrew has been throwing my name under the bus for some reason? Well Andrew, better watch out because I’m driving that bus and swerving it at you. OG Palazzo is... not my favourite. Honestly I’m okay if it dies tonight. Jake, Livingston, Ben, Joey, Jaiden and myself can definitely switch things up. I imagine we can get John and Xavier on board as well, maybe even Kailyn. I was perfectly okay riding the pink wave for a few rounds, but Andrew you just had to go and mess that up. Why? For what reason? Hoping it’s you tonight. xoxo Gossip Girl

I feel good about tribal, rip Andrew I guess, but I'm nervous as hell for some reason that it could be me. It would be perfect because I don't even see it coming... :/

I don't know what happened, but there seems to be a "merging" of tribal lines. Which is good for me. The vote is going Andrew with 9. And the 4 are voting Ben. Or everyone is playing everyone. I am just happy I am not one of the options BUT I was told that Steph and I are being mentioned by people as a tight 2. Well, they're right, but I didn't want that to come out.

Andrew is being his paranoid self. And rightfully so. Unless I’m getting completely bamboozled, the vote should between 7 and 9 votes for Andrew, and between 6 and 4 votes for Ben. Fingers crossed this goes off without a hitch

Okay so premerge wasn’t too hard tbh. Just making friendships with my og palazzo. I just hope that every week people see someone else as less important to their game. I have a long mental game for this and I am prepared to take this game week by week and adjust to everything that comes. I just pray that I make it through this week and even if I lose Andrew I don’t mind tbh because then I have an idol to myself. I’m obsessed with Livingston tbh he’s so funny and I like a good amount of the people I didn’t get a chance to meet premerge so I think there’s good room to move about 

After last tribal I honestly want Ben gone. He’s kind of rude and frustrating. OG Pallazzo has the numbers so in theory we should be set but who knows? 🤷🏼‍♀️

[theprettysettersclub]

ok so because it was an ExperienceTM I’m gonna share with you guys some of the more notable things that happened while I was a camp counselor

I worked three weeks (week 1, week 3, and week 4) so there’s gonna be a section for each one

keep in mind that nothing but the week i’m talking about is in chronological order

Week 1

I was stuck on incamp most of the week basically doing a lot of maintenance (there were like 8 kids and way more staff)

had to clean out the music/adventure shack (it took like 3 days to finish) and found 5 dead mice and 1 urn

had to spend 2+ hours on a trail cutting back plants with two people that kept arguing and complaining

we played hunger games with the kids which is basically capture the flag, everyone gets a partner and you start at one end of the camp and have to get an item from another end then bring it back to the start without being seen by a guard or tagged by another team. I was partners with the literal only other person there who didn’t know the trails at all, so it was a lot of “i wonder where this goes lets find out”

we almost won but we got sold out the first time and the second time i fell and had to limp back to one of the sentries because neither of us had our phones to call the nurse

not much really happened week 1 lmao

Me: *said something sassy*

My friend: I love you

Me: aww I love me too

Me: and i love you

My friend: I love me too

it was a great week for my self confidence

Week 3

actually had kids this week on a river trip (everything on the river is offsite so we were away from most of the rest of the counselors) (only 5 kids, it was beautiful because we had a total of 6 staff)

i was loading the bus and one of the parents came up to me saying ‘Do you know this kid’

me, internally ‘idk should i’

me: no

her: he had your dad as a teacher and he remembers when you came in to the class

me, internally: why here too

first time at the beach i saw a snake swimming through the water (i maybe swore a little but there were no kids around so it was good)

second time at the beach i felt one swim between my legs (managed to not even say anything i’m so proud of myself)

during the nature presentation i had to pretend i was okay with snakes right next to my face (snakes are cute,,, from a distance)

first night during break i got to witness two of the other counselors learn how to use the microwave and also that the leftover fridge is for everyone

that was one of the most entertaining things i’ve seen

went tubing down a river and two brothers held hands almost the entire way (one of them got stuck and couldn’t get out and told the other one to keep going)

most of the other counselors slept outside on a tarp the first night but me and the program coordinator slept in a tent together and i ended up actually sleeping on her and it was the best night of sleep i’d gotten in a while

went canoeing down the river and i was in a canoe with a camper and another counselor (the only canoe with 2 counselors it was lowkey a blessing) and it was my first time canoeing. we got stuck 4 times before we had gone a mile

while we were canoeing it started storming but we couldn’t do anything bc there was no where to stop

after lunch, the camper and i switched places so he could paddle and i sat in the middle. the other counselor kept accidentally hitting me with his paddle. i accidentally hit him with a tree

it started storming again and the other two had to paddle a bit upstream so we could take shelter. while we were in the shelter we started watching moana with the people from one of the other canoes and a lifeguard

it continued to storm when we got back so we were under a shelter with these kids for hours and everyone was restless, but it cleared up enough that we could sleep in the tents

there was a vending machine and like half the counselors bought lemonade while the kids were getting ready for bed

(an obligatory cracking open a cold one with the boys joke was made)

two of the counselors (same two that were learning about the microwave) did everything they could together and at one point our boss asked if they were attached at the hip to which they both pressed their hips together (bless their friendship)

on the last night one of the girls asked me to wake her up at 6am and i was like why and she said she wanted to get up then and i was like no i’m gonna wake you up at 7:30 like everyone else and she was like but yesterday i got up at 5:30 to which i responded “and was i awake?”

the counselors also stayed up until about 2am listening to scary stories about the camp and i am now convinced it is haunted

one of the stories was about how one of the paintings mysteriously tilts and while everyone else was distracted, the guy telling the stories went and tilted it and i was the only one that saw him do it

needless to say everyone else was terrified when they saw it had moved

a different guy tried to do it but everyone figured it out in a few minutes (after that he was threatened with a tree branch that was in there for some reason)

Week 4

the camp was,,, very busy week 4. as in like 60 kids busy. 24 were on my camp

our single male senior counselor was gone that week so the musician came back to counseling for this one week

the kids were assholes and didn’t feel the need to listen to the junior counselors (jc for short. senior counselor is sc)

*starts to sprinkle* kid: i think we should move everyone to [building that is literally the farthest away from us at the moment but that’s where everyone’s stuff is]. me: no we’re gonna wait for everyone else to get a snack. kid: i just really think it’s gonna storm soon so lets go. me: uh no? i’m your counselor- kid: junior counselor. me, probably yelling: junior or senior counselor, i am still your counselor and i would appreciate it if you treated me with respect

we were in tents the kids set up the first night in a campsite that’s still on site but not close to all the buildings so for break we had to walk down a trail and it was the scariest thing

(also should probably be noted that sometime during week 3 and the first day of week 4 i developed a crush on one of the counselors)(also should be noted that he could probably out sass me which is hard to do) walking back was almost worse than walking to break (it was definitely scarier) except i got to latch myself onto my crush’s arm the whole walk back

i was carrying the flashlight (it was me and him in front and another jc behind us) and it started flickering so me, brave soul that i am, shoved it into his hand which somehow fixed the problem so we kept going. they dropped their stuff at the bathroom and we were walking back to the tents when the flashlight stopped working all together and at that moment we saw an sc walking towards us. (at this point i was grabbing onto one of my crush’s arms and the other jc’s other arm) i pulled the other two jcs in front of me and took a big step back and then noticed who it actually was

the girls in the tent next to the counselor tent didn’t quiet down until 12:30. a storm started at 2 and woke me up. at 3:30 the other jc in the tent got up to go to the bathroom to find a bunch of girls out of their tents during a thunderstorm. the decision was made to evacuate the tents due to flash flood warnings, so we had to wake everyone up and then realize that we couldn’t contact the guys (who were farther away) because we didn’t have their phone numbers

at 4am we were in the barn (the one which is definitely haunted) and we had to get up at 7:30 so that was fun. also i slipped on concrete and bruised my elbow and i couldn’t fully extend it for like 4 days without pain

we moved into an actual building after that

except the next night was going to be clear so we were sleeping on a tarp outside which the kids did not like at all because of the night before

the first night we were in an actual building to sleep, the other two jcs and i went to the building we take break in to get food. crush guy got chicken tenders that he brought but didn’t microwave them before taking them back to the building we were in, so he and an sc snuck into the kitchen, stole a plate, and microwaved the chicken tenders for everyone to share

the next day for dinner we had chicken tenders again, so when we went for break we took a bunch back in a tupperware container to eat along with some cookies. the third night in the building we did the same thing (but those two nights we had them cold)

crush waited a few days before yelling at the kids and it was so cute when he did bc he’d go in all stern but when the door closed he’d get really smiley (honestly at that point yelling at the kids was stress relief bc they were such assholes) (also some people’s voices were going bc of how much they had to yell)

our program coordinator came into the building one night and she was like ok so i’m not supposed to yell because i’m supposed to let you guys. and we were all like please,,, by all means yell at them. and the kids were so scared of her it was kinda funny

greatest interaction i had with a kid:

her (after having to walk to the beech): my feet are burning

me, looking down at her feet then straight at her face, delivering this line with a straight face: if your feet are burning, where’s the fire?

she gave me the nastiest look it was hilarious

[welplookslikethisblogisdeadtoo]

(for the fic writer meme) 1, 4, 8, 13, 20, 29, any or all that you feel like!

Thank you so much! I’m putting it under a cut bc its Long but please read as it includes fic recs, possible upcoming fics from myself and a whole lot of other author appreciation!

1. Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

Hm…Fantasy AUs, Mundane AUs with a REALLY GOOD twist (either mentioned or as a surprise), Canon-Divergent fics that either delve deeper into a character development and ‘what-ifs’, and stories with more to them than ‘character A + B (+ C, etc) get together - I like stories with relatable or interesting plots.

4. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

Hm…I have MANY ideas tbh, but if I were to write them I’d need to fill out the plots a LOT more! 

I think that my fav idea that I would have the most to work with rn is my Nart Pitch Perfect AU (Which sounds a little strange but me and @artlessictoan have worked out the entire plot and its Good Shit) but I don’t know whether I just wanna make redraw scenes and write up a few snippets or draw a few comics of the plot and stuff? Idk, I’m still debating on that one, lemme know what you think!

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

‘ November 5th was certainly going to be remembered by every one of their classmates, but for all the wrong reasons. It was no one’s fault, the firework had simply been a faulty one. Accidents caused by them happen by the thousands every year.

But the memory of Sakura, still only in her second year of Uni studying to be a doctor, saving Naruto’s life with a blanket and plenty of pressure, the ambulance rushing him off to A&E for emergancy surgery, huddled as a group of eleven in a crowded waiting room with nothing but hope and fear until the early hours of the morning… It was a memory that would haunt them their entire lives.

And as for their failure of a relationship, that was the last straw. It wasn’t as though Hinata wasn’t supportive of Naruto, of course she was - all of their friends were, but the stress tore the two apart. But what was even scarier, was the fact that, apparently, if you break up with someone, it’s impossible to stay friends with them. But how could they not stay friends? They were simply too important to each other to loose.

As Hinata staired at Naruto, the golden light bouncing off the frost dusted windows catching in his hair and highlighting his olive skin in an orange glow, real arm reaching down to change his car’s gear, face alight with new hope and happiness… The content warming her heart like a fire in a harth told her that she wouldn’t have life any other way.” ‘ - Exeunt, Chapter 2.

I think this is my favourite piece of writing that I’ve done recently because it starts of very jarring, really the first angsty/darker part of this fic - and there will be more of that to come, just some warning - but it ends in a really peaceful, warm way that I think really ties that section of the story up nicely. I’m also really happy of the way it flows and builds back up from the trauma into something lighter.

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Make characters flawed, conflict one of your best plot-bunny devices, find yourself a Writing Alpha bc Artless is The Best tbh and my writing is improving tenfold after just a few sessions with them talking abt my stories.

20. Describe your perfect writing conditions.

I’d say when I’m REALLY in the Mood to write something/the scene I’ve been stuck on, or if something has just Clicked in trying to work out how to progress with a fic. In my bed with comfy clothes and fairylights on in the evening after dinner. Listening to a playlist that immerses me into the story and scene I’m writing and no distractions.

29. If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

If I could then I would re-write, or continue (because the sequel hasn’t updated in 3 years) the Coming To Terms series. It was actually one of the first fics I completely fell in love with and its super mundane and there are lots of different plots for various characters while still keeping the pace and keeping track of various storylines. It had a REALLY GOOD ending to the 1st part but there was SO MUCH more potential for the sequel and there was a lot of unresolved things and it was all leading up to one big bang which it didn’t get around to. Honestly I highly recommend it though, its super nostalgic for me and still one of my fav works of all time!!!

(my choice!)

15. If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

Exeunt, without doubt. It’s the Magnum Opus of all my Naruto AUs and something that I want my writing to develop with as it is created. I think it has the most potential too seeing as it is completely different to the original Naruto series so it has the potential to be a stand-alone thing.

27. How do you feel about collaborations?

Oh boy, oh man I LOVE collabs. Have you even read A Time For Change, holy shit that AU is just like my Happy Place and its SO NICE to talk about the plot with someone else without spoiling anything bc you’re both in on it?? Its just a really special experience!

28. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

Hooo boy here we go.

@artlessictoan, holy shit, their works are just. Goals. Absolutely, this isn’t even coming from a ‘i work with them a lot so i have to be nice 2 them’ this is a legit thing like their fics are some of my favourites of all time and their characterization is SO SPOT ON. They’re REALLY GOOD at writing dialogue and they really delve into the root of the story when it comes to writing them, their research shows through so well and they cover things that you wouldn’t even think of. They’re one of those writers where you have to just step back after reading one of their works and think ‘Oh my god. Oh my god what a wild ride why didn’t I think of that oh my gOD.’ Check out their work, seriously guys!

@linddzz Oh my god, their writing, where do I even begin. They NAIL the characters completely and utterly when they write them, they really bring to light Credence’s personality and the problems and issues he had to face and faces still, especially in my favorite of their fics A Study on the Habits of the Adult Obscurial. I really like the way they represent Newt also, he doesn’t know how to People very well and he’s just so very in-character that once you read their fic you just accept it as canon honestly.

@jinglebellfic Listen up folks if you haven’t read Riptide Lover then you ABSOLUTELY SHOULD, its one of my favorite works and it’s been updating for YEARS and its still being updated bc they talk abt it all the time and this AU just gives me LIFE. Just a warning for those who aren’t keen that it is Very NSFW but the story just has SUCH A GOOD PLOT and it starts BANG in the middle of the action, no messing around, it’s so well-written that I was sucked into the story (and the fandom, this fic is what got me into it in the first place!) so quickly and I enjoyed it so much that I spent abt a week reading it whenever I had the spare time to. It’s very nostalgic to me now and it makes my entire month when it updates.

[semiautomatic-mouth]

Customary Guts-spillin' post-convo

I always feel the need to write out what I'm thinking/feeling/processing after I talk to him. Because so much is said, shared between us, revealed, exposed, but it bunches up and overlaps with the other stuff that also matters, but not always in the way that makes my heart race and head go fuzzy. The other day I accompanied him on his errands run. He needed to get stuff for his upcoming travels, for both he and his baby, and I couldn't bear the thought of parting so soon after we got lunch together, I just sort of joined him. He didn't seem to mind--actually seemed happy to have me. So we got his oil changed, then got travel essentials. It was all so mundane and commonplace, but also exciting and enjoyable bc he is anything but mundane or commonplace and we actually had fun choosing which luggage set to buy. And I think that the mundaneness of the trip was partly what made it so much more for me: it felt real, like we were creating a shared life piece-by-piece, and proving I could accompany him on everyday errands and aid in the experience, make it more like an event than a to-do item to check off, brought that piece into existence. I can go do things with him that are just things, can be with him and help him and share such an everyday experience with him and make it better. It's a multifaceted dynamic that we share: one in which we are compatible in entertainment settings, external environments with other people, sexually, and in typical daily tasks. It is a huge step: I essentially demonstrated--and reaffirmed in myself--the fact that the context does not matter as long as I am with him. Time spent together in any capacity is time I cherish. And it works, he seems to feel similarly.

But there was one item we had to get that really kind of fucked me up in a good or bad way(still not sure, leaning towards good): he had to buy a stroller. So he did, and I offered to carry it since his hands were full, and bc it was kind of awkward, I pushed it. He told me, "You get to be Mommy right now," jokingly, but.... In that instant, I wanted that.

A secret I have never actually verbalized or even written is that when we first started hanging and he was making an attempt to get back w BM for the sake of the baby, I had this overwhelming desire to have a baby with him. It was childish and driven by a fear that I would never share the same connection they did bc I did not share a child with him. It was jealousy and low self-esteem and teritorial, and this is why it stayed locked away: I was ashamed for thinking this way. It went away once I stopped fearing I would lose him, and will not resurface. At least...not in that way.

Since meeting the baby, I have begun to recognize the very real potential of being with him in a long-term capacity. I've only known him about 6 months or so, but it feels like I've always known him. I have started pondering the idea of helping him raise her, of being slowly integrated into her life and gaining her love and trust. I have repeatedly thought about living with him, what that would be like, how we would share our lives and build our empire and become a family.

But pushing the stroller gave me more domestic thoughts: namely: having a baby with him. Seeing this written out makes the thought more real, and significantly scarier, than just keeping it in my brain. Because now it has legs: a baby with my hair and his eyes. A piece of us existing out of choice and discussion, rather than deceit and manipulation the way his baby happened, and the formulation of our life around both kids. And while this is likely stemming from being with my pregnant sister, as well as my Hormone Monster, I have to acknowledge that at least some part of me really does want this. Or, at least, wants to further consider this.

He said he wants a Ride-Or-Die to share and build with, that BM was supposed to be that, but it obviously didn't happen that way. I want to be his Ride-Or-Die. In my mind, I already am. And I think he feels the same. But I want to hear it and confirm. God....