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thoughtsfromaclutteredbrain · 7 years ago

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My WrestleMania Overview

1. Andre the Giant Battle Royal | Winner: Woken Matt Hardy (with an assist from Bray Wyatt)

This was a pretty good match as far as Battle Royals go. They can sometimes be hectic and hard to know where to look. Some people like Shelton, Goldust and Dolph got some chances to shine when they usually wouldn’t so I enjoyed that. The interesting thing however was the win of Matt Hardy. I was sort of expecting him to win (once I saw Elias wasn’t there, more on him later), but the addition of Bray Wyatt was a little more unexpected. It seems that the Lake of Reincarnation has turned Bray into a Woken Warrior, and I love it! Bray hasn’t gotten too many wins, despite having an awesome gimmick, and the team of Bray Wyatt and Matt Hardy (and a certain Brother Nero) will be unstoppable. I want them to go to Smackdown to tackle the teams there. Them against the New Day, Bludgeon Brothers or Usos would be great. And will this win start the Woken Hardy’s Quest for Gold in the WWE? I guess time will tell.

(gif credit to @thearchitectwwe)

2. Cedric Alexander vs. Mustafa Ali | Winner (and new champion): Cedric Alexander

This was an all around amazing match. The heart and the soul of 205 Live brought a great match that showed why the Cruiserweights should get more respect than they currently do.

Although I was rooting for Mustafa Ali, this win for Cedric was long overdue, and so I am satisfied. Congrats Cedric, you earned it.

(gif credits to @machomanwrestlinghistory)

3. Women’s Battle Royal | Winner: Naomi

I have a couple of beefs with this match, even though I think it was a pretty decent Battle Royal. The first is this: if not everyone is going to get a WrestleMania entrance, then no one should. It bothered me that Becky, Bayley and Sasha (even tho I love them all) got their entrances and everyone else (Natalya, Mickie, Naomi) came out in bulk. Another thing that I wanted was to get more of a spotlight on the NXT girls. They all did a great job and I wish they would have highlighted them more. So in case you didn’t hear their names (I know I didn’t), let me introduce you to them. Kairi Sane, Kavita Devi, Peyton Royce, Dakota Kai, Bianca Belair and Taynara Conti. You girls are the future.

(gif credit to @machomanwrestlinghistory)

Back to the match, like I said, it was pretty good as far as Battle Royals go. I thought Carmella would cash in her MITB later in the night and that was why she only spent .01 seconds in the match, but it seems that’s not the case (more on this later).

I loved seeing Sasha and Bayley square off in the center of the ring. I’m waiting for the day that they get a one-on-one Wrestlemania moment, but for now, I’m happy they got to do that, and that Bayley threw her out the same way Sasha did at Rumble.

(gif credit to @thearchitectwwe)

However, it was not meant to be for the Hugger, as she forgot that she had Naomi still in the ring. In the end, Naomi prevailed and became the first Wrestlemania Women’s Battle Royal winner. Congrats to her. Now can they just make a better trophy, please?

(gif credit to @machomanwrestlinghistory)

Now onto the main card!

4. The Miz (champ) vs. Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor | Winner: Seth Rollins

Before starting, I want to take a moment to thank Balor for his entrance. It was definitely the simplest of the three, but it showed the type of person he is, and it was a bold statement. The Balor club is for everyone, and I am happy to be a part of it.

(gif credit to @jimdrugfree)

Overall, this was a great match by some of the best in the business. We’ve seen Balor and Seth put on some great matches before, but pairing them with Miz, arguably one of the best and most talented wrestlers, was a recipe for success. All of them got their moments to shine, and Seth came out victorious.

(gif credit to @jarillian)

Congrats to Seth Rollins, on now being a Grand Slam Champion! It’s very well deserved, and I’m hoping he can get some good storylines in the future.

(gif credit to @thearchitectwwe)

5. Charlotte (champ) vs. Asuka | Winner: Charlotte

I want to first take a moment for Charlotte’s entrance, which was sheer, golden perfection.

(gif credit to @jimdrugfree)

Anyway, onto the match. This match was next level, and showed us why these two are some of the best in the Women’s division right now. It was smooth and it was dynamic and it was crazy in all the best ways.

There were power moves, there were submissions, there were kickouts. It was everything a good match should be, and honestly, I think it should have been later in the night. It could have even been main event.

(gif credits to @jarillian)

But the ending... ASUKA TAPPED????? LIKE ACTUALLY LOST????

Personally, I feel it was premature to break Asuka’s streak (especially at her first Wrestlemania, more on that later), but if anyone could beat it, Charlotte definitely was the woman to do it. It seems no one should go to a New Orleans WrestleMania with a streak. However, as a submission specialist, I’m a little salty that she TAPPED. Although, Charlotte’s one-armed Figure Eight was a thing of beauty.

However, my favorite part may have been the camaraderie at the end. Cuz at the end of the day, Charlotte was ready for Asuka.

(gif credits to @machomanwrestlinghistory)

6. Randy Orton (champ) vs. Bobby Roode vs. Jinder Mahal vs. Rusev | Winner: Jinder Mahal

Maybe it was because it was placed after such a shocking and dynamic match, but this match sort of seemed like filler. I’m not satisfied seeing Randy as the US Champ. I just haven’t really been able to get invested in Bobby Roode since he came here (which is probably due in part to the fact that his theme gets on my nerves lol), and after Jinder was just the Smackdown champ, being the US champ felt like a step down. But you want to know who should have won?

Rusev.

Rusev has been passed up on so many opportunities. He’s a great wrestler and is hilarious, and he’s top selling merch. I don’t know what else Rusev has to do to get the belt he deserves. However, Jinder pulled out the victory, so congrats to him. I am happy that Jinder has been able to come back and do well for himself, first with the Smackdown belt and now with this, but I think it was the wrong call this time.

(gif credit to @machomanwrestlinghistory)

7. Stephanie and Triple H vs. Kurt Angle and Ronda Rousey | Winner: Kurt Angle and Ronda Rousey

I wanna start off by saying I love Triple H and Stephanie. They’re the definition of a power couple and are great entertainers and wrestlers. And their joint entrance was great!

(gif credit to @totaldivasepisodes)

Okay, I’m gonna come out and say it. Ronda did amazing in her first match!

There I said it. Ronda haters can unfollow/send hate now. (***see end***)

This match was arguably one of the best matches of the night, which is a very impressive feat for a rookie. She showed power, she showed skill, she showed strength. She did everything she could. And not only did she do that with Steph, she did it to Triple H.

(gif credit to @jarillian)

She showed an insane amount of skill and training for someone in their first match, including rolling out of the powerbomb into an armbar.

(gif credit to @thearchitectwwe)

My favorite thing about Steph is that she’s a full fledged entertainer, and so not only did she perform well physically, she added a bit of humor to the match as well.

I totally expected Steph and Triple H to have to carry the match (on account of her greenness), but that wasn’t the case at all. Ronda did amazing. I understand the apprehension of her coming to WWE since we’ve been burned by Brock (more on that later), but in my eyes, she silenced every doubt I had. Yes, she was a bit sloppy at times, and she definitely needs better gear, but it was an extraordinary debut. My only wish is that we see more submissions/a different finisher from her in the future. I know the armbar is her signature, but it can become a bit cheesy if used too much.

Welcome to the WWE, Ronda Rousey. I have a feeling you’ll be here for a while.

(gif credits to @machomanwrestlinghistory)

8. The Usos (champ) vs. The New Day vs. The Bludgeon Brothers | Winner: The Bludgeon Brothers

Once again, I don’t know if it was just because of placement, but this match did nothing for me. It felt like a squash match, and while I’m very happy the Bludgeon Brothers finally get some gold, the Usos deserved better on their first WrestleMania on the main card. Congrats to the Bludgeon Brothers. I just wish the match went longer/better. It felt like it was squeezed in.

(gif credit to @machomanwrestlinghistory)

9. John Cena vs. Elias The Undertaker | Winner: The Undertaker

Speaking of, this section was a bit of a mess in my opinion. So first, John Cena, who swore to attend as a fan, comes out. He waits patiently for the Undertaker. Suddenly the lights go dark. I look over to my family and tell them “Plot twist, it’s gonna be Elias”. And guess who came out...

ELIAS!

Now, here’s the thing. I actually wanted to SEE this fight. I believe it was the Christmas Raw where they had a great match, and since then, I’ve been calling for Elias vs. Cena at Mania. What I did NOT want to see, however, was Elias get squashed at Mania.

But then, we see the lights go out again, and we’re met with this sight.

To be honest, I half expected this to drag out until SummerSlam, so I’m happy I’m wrong with that. But this was not the fabled Cena vs. Undertaker match everyone dreamed of. It was another squash match at best, and Cena looked downright terrified the whole time.

Is this not what you wanted????

Anyway, the match was relatively quick, which was good for Taker’s sake. And he left with a victory in New Orleans, where he suffered his loss. I said it last year and I’ll say it again. Thank you, Taker.

(gif credits to @machomanwrestlinghistory)

10. Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens vs. Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan | Winner: Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan

I’m gonna be honest, any Shane match gives me a high level of anxiety, but Shane and DANIEL BRYAN made it even stronger. I was super excited for this match but also dreading it at the same time. I am a Daniel Bryan fan, but I was really worried about him getting back in the ring, especially at Mania where his adrenaline will be so high. But damn, was it good to see Bryan in a wrestling ring again.

First note, SHANE TOOK A BEATING! And I was surprised he did, especially since he actually did have diverticulitis not too long ago. He is a trooper, and did some great moves.

Now onto DANIEL BRYAN! I’m sorry, I really never thought I’d get to analyze Daniel’s fighting again. This is Lita at the Rumble all over again. At least I didn’t cry this time. (Lita was my idol growing up, I was sensitive!)

Anyway, back on topic. I was worried about Daniel, but I was very happy with what I saw. First of all, there was no sign of ring rust, which is great. Second, he seems to have modified his style a lot, which I’m thankful for. Everything is done safer, and with a lot more care, even the high risk moves.

There are still some things he has to still modify for safety (no more dropkicks, please), and some moves people have to be really careful delivering (WHO BOOKED HIS FIRST MATCH AGAINST SAMI “HELLUVA KICK” ZAYN???), but other than that, he looked great in his comeback.

And man, was it great to see the YES lock again.

Welcome back, Daniel. We missed you.

(gif credit to @machomanwrestlinghistory)

11. Alexa Bliss (champ) vs. Nia Jax | Winner: Nia Jax

First of all, I am so happy these best friends got to share this WrestleMania moment, They both deserve it. And before I talk about the match, let me talk about Alexa’s amazing entrance. She really is a goddess.

(gif credit to @jarillian)

I know a lot of people were salty about the bodyshaming angle, but this was storytelling at its finest. Even the match told a story with every move.

First, Nia had some great strategy with taking Mickie out first. It was smart and gave her the advantage. I do wish that Mickie gets a push after this tho. Maybe a feud with Nia?

(gif credit to @machomanwrestlinghistory)

I was a bit worried that this would be a squash match, but that wasn’t the case. Between a Twisted Bliss from the ringpost, a drop off the second rope and some great storytelling, this was actually a pretty good match.

(gif credit t @jarillian)

Congrats Nia. You definitely earned it, and your title reign is already inspirational to so many.

(gif credit to @jimdrugfree)

12. AJ Styles (champ) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura | Winner: AJ Styles

Let me start by RAVING over this work of art that was Shinsuke’s entrance. Loving the rock version. Can that be his new theme, please?

(gif credit to @frentique)

On paper, this match was a great one. Some may even say it was a dream match. However, the entire match very much favored AJ. AJ looked great, showing off his strength and his technical fighting, but for some reason, it didn’t seem to do much to help Shinsuke, making Asuka and Charlotte outshine them.

I was disappointed in Shinsuke’s loss, but I see him come in with the belt and present it to AJ. I’m ready to praise him for being so classy, until...

The low blow seen round the world!

Earlier in the day, Shinsuke said that WrestleMania would mark the beginning of his story, and he is not wrong. I’m excited to see the new, heel Shinsuke.

13. The Bar (champ) vs. Braun Strowman and his mystery partner | Winner: Braun Strowman and... NICHOLAS???

Mark the day down, guys. April 8, 2018 was the day that Braun “Flipped Over an Ambulance with Someone In It” Strowman officially turned into a babyface. How this happened? I have no idea. Am I here for it? Hell yes!

For weeks, Braun had been needing a partner for this match. He comes out alone, and I’m thinking Big Show or Samoa Joe or Big Cass is gonna come out... Nothing happens. Suddenly he declares he’s gonna have a partner from the crowd. I’m suspicious, but I figure this is gonna be a Santino Marella moment and there’ll be a wrestler in the crowd that’s gonna come up this way. Until he chooses the smallest little boy he could find.

Nicholas, the most terrified little boy I’ve ever seen, was his tag team partner, and if it couldn’t get any better, he actually tagged him in for a hot second.

Despite this hilarious twist of events, Braun singlehandedly (no shade to Nick) won the belts, in what was a pretty good match. It was short, but it was good.

And so now, half of the Raw Tag champs is a child. This is bizarre in the best way, and I’m excited to see who replaces Nicholas on Raw tonight. (SOMEONE HAS TO, RIGHT?)

Congrats, Nicholas. You got your WrestleMania moment.

(gif credit to @machomanwrestlinghistory)

14. Brock Lesnar (champ) vs. Roman Reigns | Winner: Brock Lesnar

And so... the main event of the night. I wish I had something more positive to say. This match was... not the best. Roman gave everything he had, and Brock... well, he gave his suplexes and F5′s, but not much else. In terms of brute strength, this match was up there, as it’s not easy to get slammed through a table, but it wasn’t very exciting, and it got a bit scary when Brock busted Roman’s head open and he started gushing. By the end, he was covered in his own blood, and he lost. I really am disappointed in this, because the fans were FINALLY starting to get behind Roman. He was at a spot where giving him the belt would have actually resulted in some CHEERS, which is something he’s struggled to get, even though he’s one of the best in the business right now. I just don’t get why you would have Roman defending the full time talent and finally getting over just to have him lose. I just don’t get it. I will end with a Roman gif, because he deserved better last night.

(gif credit to @machomanwrestlinghistory)

Other notes/rants: -Literally when is Carmella gonna cash in this MITB? I’m starting to worry that she’s either gonna time out, or she’s gonna waste it. She’s already held it the longest out of anyone EVER. Let her have her moment. -Not only did Rusev get screwed, he was the one who got pinned. -_- -The Usos have been the face of the Tag Division for the longest time, and have basically owned the Smackdown Tag belts all year. This match was a disservice. -What was the point of Royal Rumble PPV? Both winners (and both Japanese wrestlers, might I add) lost in their opportunities. I’m disappointed Asuka and Shinsuke didn’t get the WrestleMania moments they deserved. -I totally forgot to say that Kurt looked great in the ring too. Good job! -The Undertaker match was severely underwhelming. Now that he’s righted the wrong that took place in New Orleans tho, let us please take a note from him and let him rest in peace. -Wondering where Cena goes from here... -As for Ronda’s next opponent, I wanna see either Charlotte, Becky or Sonya. Charlotte is the money fight. Becky would be putting armbar against armbar, and Sonya would just be a great MMA vs MMA match. I also wanna see her fight Alexa cuz I need to see Alexa pull her “broken arm” move on Ronda! -GOD I LOVE SEEING DANIEL FIGHT AGAIN -First order of business, getting Miz and Daniel on the same brand again. That is NOT over yet. -Can we get Mickie turning heel and getting pushed please?? -***I very much respect Ronda as an athlete. I do not agree with her comments, and I don’t like her very much as a person, but she is undeniably talented, and I wish her happiness and success. -So is Nicholas gonna drop out of school and defend the belt with Braun now???? -I’m gonna pretend the night ended with Nicholas.

15 notes · View notes

closetofanxiety · 7 years ago

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Show Review: Women’s Wrestling Revolution, “Adios Aurora”

Aurora is not a “who,” it’s a “what”: a nightclub in downtown Providence that’s hosted everything from literary events to hip hop acts to noise bands to live theater to weddings. For our purposes, it’s also been the Rhode Island home since early 2016 to Beyond Wrestling and Women’s Wrestling Revolution. BUT ALL THAT COMES TO AN END THIS MONTH. The gentrification of Providence is speeding along, and a developer named “Buff” (seriously, “Buff,” and no, it’s not Bagwell) has bought up the entire building that houses Aurora, and is going to redevelop it into luxury condos for yuppies who are moving to Providence to partake of the cultural and artistic life they are displacing.

So with all that baggage, how well does the Last Wrestling Show lift our weary spirits? Will we send off Aurora with soaring hearts or just sore feet, because there are no chairs? Let’s take a look!

What: Women’s Wrestling Revolution, “Adios Aurora”

When: Sunday, October 8, 2017, 3 p.m.

Where: The Aurora Nightclub in beautiful “downcity” Providence, R.I.

Who: About 100 people? I’m bad at crowd counting. Maybe fewer than that. It was not as crowded as the show in August, and not many people come out for women’s shows. I don’t know why. I think I may like them better than shows that are mostly dudes. There’s just a more relaxed, havin’ fun vibe, at least at WWR shows, where the crowd is always loud and into it. Even Beyond Wresling/WWR generallisimo Denver Colorado, who is normally wound pretty tight at these shows, was in a good mood, thanking people for coming. I was there with my friends Mark and Mike. Mike kept disappearing to go to a bar down the street that serves only beer and pretzels, but like, fancy beer and fancy pretzels. Mike was in mourning because, with wrestling at Aurora coming to an end, he believes this will be the last time he ever visits the city of Providence, which is a 90-minute drive from where he lives. We’re dramatic people and you know what? That’s OK. Wrestling is all about emotions!

Jordynne Grace vs. Rachael Ellering

Hot start to this show, with two of the best young wrestlers around. Ellering (”Rachael Evers” to you Mae Young Classic diehards) has come a long way in a really short time, but the star here is Grace, who is already an accomplished performer. She’s a big favorite here, too, in both Beyond and WWR, which helps. A nice showcase for what both people can do, although it’s a babyface vs babyface match, so not a lot of grit or angst.

Rating: Three Gentrified Cities.

Team Adams (Tasha Steelz and Karen Q) vs. Beauty and the Beast (Renee Michelle and Nyla Rose)

Karen Q has become hugely polished since doing a bunch of shows for Women of Honor, even though Women of Honor is a weird semi-hidden thing that ROH stashes away on its YouTube channel. Michelle and Rose were the heels here, Michelle the arrogant stunner and Rose her gigantic bodyguard. This was a good match where Steelz was the face in peril, leading to a great hot tag from Karen Q and a surprise win for Team Adams despite Nyla Rose’s huge size advantage.

Rating: Three Gentrified Cities.

Terra Calaway vs Allie Recks

I will always, always love a prehistoric gimmick, and Terra Calaway bills herself as “Queen of the Dinosaurs,” so right there I’m on board. There seem to be a lot more, forgive me, bigger women in indie wrestling these days, like Calaway, Rose, Vanessa Kraven, even Davienne. I like that. It’s good to have a diverse set of talents and wrestling styles. Calaway is a more nimble Nia Jax, basically an old-fashioned monster heel. Recks is a plucky babyface here, who gets squashed. It helps build up Calaway as a threat while also getting some attention for Recks, so I’m fine with it. One thing that women’s shows, particularly WWR, do better than other shows is they understand not every match has to be 20 minutes long. It’s OK, once in a while, to have a squash match. It’s OK to have a fast-paced 10-minute opener that gets the crowd hyped up. The “get your shit in” mentality from a lot of dudes in indie wrestling is happily absent here.

Rating: Two Gentrified Cities.

Willow Nightingale vs. Elena Pogosyan

Nightingale is a large woman, but also extremely nimble: she wins this match with a picture-perfect 2nd rope moonsault. Another thing that women generally do better than men is establish easily graspable characters. Willow Nightingale is the bouncy, fun, happy-to-be-here babyface, and Elena Pogosyan is the snobby, stuck-up Armenian-American Princess, which is a familiar archetype, albeit mostly in Glendale, Calif. But I mean, it’s easy as a fan who’s only vaguely familiar with both women to understand who’s who and develop a rooting interest. So many guys in indie wrestling are just Guys In Indie Wrestling.

The WWR crowd Gets It, and are basically invested in every match on the card, and - wonder of wonders - cheering for the babyfaces and booing the heels. Real, honest to God booing! In 2017! It’s a Christmas miracle! It’s actually fun to be part of a wrestling crowd that behaves like a wrestling crowd, instead of being stranded with 100 dopes in Bullet Club shirts cheering on the heels, or updating their Twitter feeds to whine about someone’s “workrate.” WWR crowds are great, especially compared to the normally somnolent, eerily silent crowds that go to other women’s promotions. Not naming names, but absolutely Shine.

Rating: Two and a half Gentrified Cities.

Sonya Strong vs. Tessa Blanchard

Sonya Strong has become one of my favorite people in WWR, because she’s so good at character work. Her thing is that she’s the badass wrestler with a chip on her shoulder because she thinks other women are getting more opportunities because of their looks or who they’re dating. She is a grade-A trash talker, and it’s a believable motivation for someone in indie wrestling. That’s all I ask for: just give me a plausible reason why two people in a wrestling match might not like each other. Tessa is a good candidate for Sonya’s wrath, because Tessa is the epitome of the well-connected, beautiful woman in wrestling: her boyfriend is Ricochet, her dad is Tully Blanchard, and her stepdad is Magnum TA, something alluded to before the match by Strong, who said “We all know who your two daddies are, but after tonight, that’s what you’re going to be calling me.” OK then!

This was a terrific match with Strong using her superior muscle and power and Blancard relying on her speed and polish. Blanchard’s gotten really good at professional wrestling in the last couple of years, brothers. This also had an undercurrent of genuine nastiness on both sides, and when Strong rolled out of the ring to take a walk after catching a beating, Tessa yelled “Come on, Sonya, are you fuckin’ scared?” and then immediately realized she’s not supposed to swear on these shows - it seemed like a real, heat-of-the-moment thing to say.

Strong can’t beat Tessa, so she decides to leave and take the DQ, much to the crowd’s displeasure. But then Team Adams - who Strong has been jawjacking with for months - comes out to force her back into the ring, where Tessa wins with a codebreaker. Good stuff, and it advanced the Sonya-Purrazzo feud.

Rating: Four Gentrified Cities.

Team Sea Stars (Delmi Exo & Ashley Vox) vs. Taeler Hendrix and Alexxis Neveah

I like this matchup a lot. The Sea Stars are plucky youngsters with a goofy, Bayley-esque gimmick (they come out to the ring with toys and enthusiasm), while Hendrix and Alexxis are like the girls in junior high who smoke cigarettes at the back fence and beat the hell out of nerds unwise enough to try and walk past them. I’ve said this a million times about Alexxis, but no one does Violent New England Girl better than her. At one point, while she was chopping one of the Sea Stars, a guy yelled out “Eddie Edwards!” because he chops a lot, and Alexxis immediately stopped and screamed in a thick southeastern Massachusetts accent, “WHO’S TAWKING SHIT ABOUT MY HUSBAND??” I legitimately feared for that guy’s safety.

Taeler has also dialed down her “I’m dangerously sexxxy” thing and is now more of a headbutting psychopath who beats up dudes in bars for their wallets. She and Alexxis are so great together. They are so utterly disdainful of the Sea Stars and their excited fans. The crowd HATES Taeler and Alexxis, and they return the favor: at one point, Taeler was strutting around the outside of the ring and slapped down the arm of an annoying dude filming the match. He almost dropped his camera, which would have been great!

This match had an interesting structure. It started out as a classic tag team matchup, with the babyfaces establishing an early lead before underhanded tactics enable the villains to isolate one of the good guys. In this case, Delmi Exo was playing face in peril.

But they drew out the face-in-peril trope so much and for so long that after a while it started to feel avant garde; like, they just spent five or six minutes absolutely knocking nine bells of shit out of Delmi Exo, with the referee characteristically unable to spot the cheating going on. Actually, that part was great; a group of fans got so incensed they called over senior referee Kevin Quinn to complain, who gravely vowed to “review the tape” once the match was over.

Finally, just when it was on the verge of being overlong, the sequence ended when Ashley Vox ran into the ring, threw her own partner over to her corner, and tagged herself in. It was one of the best hot tags I’ve ever seen in person.

It wasn’t enough, though, as the villains cheated to win with a handful of tights and a distracted referee. REVIEW THAT TAPE AND CORRECT THIS INJUSTICE, KEVIN.

Rating: Three and a half Gentrified Cities.

INTERMISSION

One thing that’s slightly hard to shake at women’s shows is the feeling that I am a creep. There’s obviously an element of attraction at work, just like there are plenty of women and gay dudes who like men’s wrestling partly because they think the men are good looking. There’s nothing wrong with any of that; I mean, the entertainment industry runs partly on that.

But I genuinely like the wrestling - again, I think the character work is usually better, the matches rarely have that “let’s make this 25 minutes” problem, and the stories are richer and more vivid - and so I’m perhaps too sensitive about being male gaze-y about the whole thing.

But, overly self-conscious or not, one way this manifests is during the meet-and-greet period with the wrestlers, it’s hard not to feel like a drooling weirdo at an Irving Klaw camera club in 1952. Am I charging the experience of exchanging money for T-shirts or 8x10s with too much anxiety? I may be. But then, I never really have anything to say to the wrestlers beyond, “Good match.” These people are not going to be my friends. I’m not going to form some durable emotional bond in the three minutes it takes to sign “To Closet of Anxiety, Please Don’t Die” and an autograph of a fake name on a picture.

I think women wrestlers get burdened with more of that “we have a deep connection” stuff than guys do. I’ve never seen anyone hand Joey Janela a letter at a show, but I’ve seen it happen multiple times at WWR shows. Generally it comes with a heartfelt explanation of how watching Mia Yim kick people enabled the letter-writer to get through a difficult period in his life. That’s great and everything, but it’s a lot to unload on a total stranger, who is just there to pretend to fight and sell shirts. If I were so inclined, I’d say that’s an example of the “emotional labour” women are often asked to bear in our society far more than men are.

I’m full of thoughts! This is a long-winded way of saying that during the intermission I walked down the street to Symposium Books, where I bought a rare-ish Grove Press edition of “Waiting For Godot” from 1954. The clerk struck up a conversation and I was like OH GOD I CAME HERE TO GET AWAY FROM AWKWARD INTERACTIONS.

Not really. I did buy the book though, and the clerk was weirdly solicitous, but he wasn’t wearing booty shorts or skin-tight spandex wrestling trousers, so I didn’t feel self-conscious.

Jenny Rose vs. Skylar

This was the only match that wasn’t exactly terrific. Skylar is coming a long way as a wrestler, but still needs a vet to lead her to a good match. Jenny Rose is a vet, but is not the best hand. After the show, Mark said it was unwise to put two newish wrestlers together, and then I reminded him that we saw Jenny Rose two and a half years ago at an ROH show and he looked shocked. Not a lot of improvement in that time, I am sorry to say. Cagematch informs me she debuted in 2010. It’s important not to be too cheerleader-y about women’s wrestling; there are women who are not great at wrestling just like there are men who are not great at wrestling. This was a clunky, slow, weirdly paced match.

Rating: One and a half Gentrified Cities.

Davienne Long w/Sammi Lane vs. Maria Manic w/Penelope Ford

This blew my expectations out of the water. I had seen these two wrestle a few times before - this was billed as the rubber match in a best of three series - and nothing had really knocked me out. But this was a fucking war. Just a stiff, nasty grudge match between two big, strong wrestlers going all-out to win. This was All Japan in the ‘90s! This was Mid-South! OK, maybe not, but it was really good. Davienne got busted open HARDWAY and the two spent the match exchanging hellacious chops and strikes. Really good.

Their respect partners were handcuffed together outside the ring, to prevent either one from interfering. This meant, of course, that a third heel rushed in to help Davienne win unjustly. I expected a beatdown of handcuffed Penelope Ford after that, but the heels just kind of left. It was a bit of a weird ending, but a terrific match, and hopefully this feud isn’t over.

Rating: Four Gentrified Cities.

Mia Yim vs. Deonna Purrazzo

This was apparently a first-time matchup between the two, which you’d never guess, because they worked so well together. This was the odds-on favorite to be Match of the Night, and it did not disappoint. From the opening bell it was two evenly matched wrestlers at the top of their game. Yim has the edge in terms of experience, but Purrazzo is the ace of WWR, and the crowd was hugely in her corner. Mia was great at playing the bratty heel, too, constantly cheating, flipping off the crowd, etc. There wasn’t a sequence that felt rushed, there wasn’t a moment that felt poorly timed; this was A++ wrestling. Down the stretch, Yim kept delivering hugely stiff strikes - one of her chops sounded like a damn rifle going off - while Purrazzo kept looking for opportunities to apply the armbar. Ultimately she won with a swinging neckbreaker, which I loved because it’s a great move, and then a modified codebreaker. One of the best matches I’ve seen all year: not a wasted moment. It ended with me wanting to see them wrestle for another 15 minutes.

Rating: Five Gentrified Cities.

A great way to end the Aurora Era. Goodbye, Aurora! You will be missed.

#Women's Wrestling Revolution #women's wrestling #show reviews

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anxiety-trademark · 4 years ago

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The week in review:

Raw 11/23 NXT 11/25 NXT UK 11/26 Smackdown 11/27

Raw:

Such a hollow promo by Lana tbh. “I’m dreaming, don’t wake me up.” ??? You were the sole survivor by proxy, it’s not like you did anything. Like good for you, but come on now.

I mean sure, hand out a title shot to fucking Lana, not like anyone else in the entire company cares about that belt. God I miss Becky.

“You may go home Raw women’s champion” HAHAHAHAHAAHHA sure.

“Nikki Cross blames herself for what Alexa Bliss has become,” she should, she straight up threw her hissy fit cuz she didn’t win the title, and then she bailed.

Now don’t get me wrong, I get that Alexa has been... possessed, if you will, by Fiend... but I’m not seeing any signs of Stockholm Syndrome when it comes to her and Bray. Aren’t they both trapped by Fiend in lore? Bray seems to genuinely care about Alexa. Am I off the mark here??

Oh my god this moment of silence for the fucking frog, I--

Topped with them laughing about his death, oooookay. I’m left speechless once again.

Commentators come back with, “Is Alexa Bliss too far gone...” LMFAO bye.

See I love this bullying Lana storyline cuz Nia and Shayna have no real reason to despise her 1/8th as much as they do. It simply boils down to ‘fuck Lana’ and like your typical high school bullies, they seethe when their victim succeeds at anything. It’s old school, believable, and doesn’t cross any lines that would upset parents or sponsors.

Also don’t get me wrong, I’m well aware that this title match is just a vehicle to advance the feud while involving Asuka, I simply wish the creation of the title match itself had been a bit more interesting. Lana’s dialogue ahead of it with both Sarah and Asuka just fell flat for me.

Omfg Asuka threw water on Nia and Shayna, bahahahah I can’t breathe. That might be the highlight of her entire reign, holy shit.

Negative points for her being floored by one punch though.

Well at least the segment ends with both Asuka and Lana standing, that’s not the worst.

Not much to say about this match, it’s really just Nia and Shayna bullying Lana lol.

I’ll give them this, there is absolutely nothing about neither Nia nor Shayna that is even remotely likeable. They play mean really well, and not ‘annoying yet funny’ mean like Bayley, just straight mean.

It’s not that I hate this submission ‘hold’ by Shayna, where she steps on the back of their neck while pulling a leg back, but I’m curious why she switched legs lmao. Awkward.

What a knee strike by Shayna to Asuka, whew that looked nasty.

Lmfao Nia took herself out by charging into the announce desk. I cannot. What a bump. Comedic bump, but a bump. Points.

Haha Shayna ate a rollup. A happy ending indeed. Lana sold that ending well, but it was a weird choice to have her and Asuka on the opposite ends of the ramp.

It’s been like 2 years and I’m still shocked Alexa never turned on Nikki.

This video is kind of just skipping over Nikki throwing her tantrum huh? Alexa played backseat cheerleader just to watch Nikki lose against Bayley 16 times and what did she get in return? Disrespect. Tsk.

Great package though. Points.

Nikki is so inconsistent. Internal conflict is valid, but she’s standing here claiming Alexa gave up on their friendship. First of all, this was initially instigated by Nikki. Second of all, she did nothing but trash Alexa’s boyfriend(?) when Alexa was nothing but kind to her after Nikki was a douche. She was confused so she gave Alexa an ultimatum, and now she’s pissy cuz Alexa chose him. This is toxic, I honestly have no sympathy for Nikki.

“I’m going to beat the Fiend out of Alexa Bliss” that’s... that’s not how this works... alright well you’re a shitty friend so, anyway.

Alexa slaps the back of Nikki’s hands and claims she won. I fucking can’t, she’s such a treat.

Lol Alexa’s just laughing at her.

My first introduction to Alexa was her as a master manipulator. Not a damn thing has changed.

Alexa has lost her god damn mind rofl.

*Bonus* online exclusive: victim Nikki, everyone. Why wasn’t this on Raw? Jesus they fill Raw with so many garbage replays while meaningful interviews to fill plot holes are put online. Dumb.

Lacey’s really running around calling Peyton “PeyPey” good lord.

I mean she’s right, Peyton was the weakest link. Just saying.

“10 sizes too big” shot at Uncle Melted Cheese.

I fucking love how Lacey pronounces “opportun-tit-ies” lmao. I thought it was an accident at first but honestly it’s great.

They have zero chemistry in the ring but at least they’re fun outside of it.

Highlight: I know I say Alexa every single week but shrug it’s Alexa

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NXT:

Alright Ember’s theme is wearing on me. She just has awesome theme songs.

Indi is really pretty and I love how she does her hair.

All nxt heels are the same; cowardly run from fights, slow methodical wrestling in the ring, recruiting muscle optional. It’s tired. At least be a good promo. Dakota is a good promo. She’s buyable. Actually where’s Dakota, I wanna see Dakota wrestle. No more Candice.

Holy shit that fall away slam onto Candice. Fucking THREW her ass across the ring. Whew everyone wave bye to Candice.

The setup to that step up senton by Candice was way too obvious.

Candice is too whiny.

Ah just as I’m beginning to get bored, Dakota comes out. It’s like nxt knows me.

Haha KO correcting Vic being a bad commentator.

See Candice isn’t even a bad wrestler, her style as heel just fucking blows.

Peeped that call by Ember.

Such a stupid setup to have Indi push Candice out of the way to take an Eclipse herself. It’s not like jumping in front of a bus. There was time. Whatever. I hate Candice matches 9 times out of 10 so there’s that lol.

...so is Toni a heel yet??? I’m guessing they’re going for “badass loner babyface-leaning tweener” for Ember, but Toni is not a tweener. She could’ve been, alas she is not.

Haha Toni is funny. Good, let her be heel. Maybe she’ll show some personality.

Alright but hear me out, what if we had a War Games team without Candice???

You did say we’d see a whole new side of you, Toni. Been waiting to see it though.

Wait back up, didn’t Toni attack Candice after their match recently?? Okay anyway.

“Rhea Ripley/Io Shirai? Doesn’t get any bigger than that.” True Rhea, now move up to the main roster plz.

Oh man Io’s basement dropkick fucking nailed Rhea in the face lol, oof.

“Where do I go from here?” TO THE MAIN ROSTER.

I don’t hate the tank and I don’t hate the idea of wearing a helmet, but those horns are super pointless.

Shotzi “pyromaniac” Blackheart. Stealing one of Alexa’s gimmicks.

It’s gonna be Shotzi, Io, Rhea and Ember, right? Who else would it be??

Rhea says she’s there to stay. Ma’am I stg if I have to wait til after wm to see you on the MR...

Me: super invested in Rhea cutting a fantastic promo and seeing how far she’s progressed as a well-rounded talent; Candice: “lol fuck you”

I hate Candice. I will fill this review with vitriol for Candice, I don’t care.

How... how did Io “steal” any victories from Candice? What help did she have? Is it drugs? Is Candice on drugs?? Candice you haven’t even held the title, shut the fuck up. Also all of y’all can sit down cuz only one woman on that entire brand has had a singles match at wm.

Oh shit they laid Io out. That’s a yikes.

In kf, the only threat to Rhea on that entire team is Toni.

I mean sure 4 people was way too much for Rhea to handle, but man they let her look pretty fucking good. The way she immediately slid out to give Raquel the high boot was smart as hell.

Dakota looks good. She gets style points.

Soooo Xia gets acting points, but what in the fuck is going on with her and Boa’s story...

Why do I have to see or hear Candice again? Jesus lord.

There’s someone else masked? *sigh* I don’t care, goodbye.

Highlight: Rhea’s promo that Candice ruined

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NXT UK:

I enjoy watching neither of these women wrestle, but at least Jinny’s persona is appealing and she has solid character work. She’s easy to dislike, so she gets heel-potential points.

Did they say Isla’s mentor is Nikki Cross? That’s... interesting...

So is this match gonna be interrupted by Piper? Probably not.

“This is an aggressive Isla Dawn,” well hey, maybe she actually started working on her stamina.

Jinny is vicious lmao.

Probably Isla’s best showing tbh.

I hate it when people jump off the top turnbuckle and then break into a slow, clunky roll, just to stand up and act as if their knee is tweaked. It’s so messy to me. Be smoother or don’t aimlessly jump off the turnbuckle.

Whole lotta yelling in the match.

Really don’t give a shit about a future Jinny/Piper match but okay.

Highlight: Jinny comes off as a vicious bitch, so that’s nice

---

Smackdown:

Oh snap Bianca’s graphic has some real potential.

Ayyyeeee it’s Captain Bayley. We starting our Bianca/Bayley feud?

oof Nattie straight outsmarted Bianca as the vet, there. Bianca friggin speared that ringpost.

“I think I did the world a favor, we got to see Bianca Belair shine,” she’s not wrong, Bianca was absolutely my mvp from SvS. In hindsight speaking from current day, Bayley really set up Bianca to be the upcoming star of this division, starting with SvS.

Oh snap did Bianca just call Nattie a bitch? How dare she, that’s Nattie’s only patented insult!

“You don’t want to get counted out again,” lmfao Bayley’s so annoying.

pppffffftttt Bayley inadvertently getting her ass whooped tonight.

Yeah somehow this is all Cole’s fault lol.

No, stop, no more “them” promos. Bayley cut this promo literally a year prior, we don’t need to hear it from Carmella, too. Besides, she was never necessarily a fan favorite that the crowd gradually turned against like Bayley was. It’s different.

WHAT SHOTS ARE YOU CALLING?? Is this about Reggie? Has he even appeared on screen yet?

Lmao Sasha beating her ass. Good for her. Looking good while she does it, too. Sasha in shiny silver... whew.

The wwe shop ad with the Riott Squad was worth a mention. They entertain me and they deserve tag titles. Not sure why wwe is still dragging their feet, but commit to them already, damn it.

Highlight: Bianca/Bayley seeds being planted

---

*Smackdown shined the brightest this week. Short, simple, straight to the point. Left me wanting to throw on next week’s episode, which no other show accomplished.

#wwe #issa review #feel free to ignore these #cuz who tf cares lesbihonest #today's props goes to:#bayley

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