#batshitbonkersout-the-wazoo

[the-woild-is-y-erster]

guys im going fucken insane

i have so so so many classes that all have homework due every day and i cant freaking focus to save my life and i cant manage any of my time correctly and ive tried asking for help from my family but all i get is a 'well you should try managing your time better set alarms do all this stuff that you just said you tried' and my brother wont help me at all

i have classes every day. all day. i have homework. due. every day. my piano teacher wants me to do two freaking hours of practice every day. i have two major projects due this week, not to mention all the homework.

and when i try and bring up how stressed i am and that i might need to drop a class???????

"you shouldve managed your time better. youll be fine you dont need help. why arent you doing homework? go make dinner which will take you three hours. go help your mom do this. go do this thing that will waste valuable time that you could be doing homework in so i can yell at you later because you havent done your homework."

and that isnt even mentioning that i have no time for social activities!!!!!! i know i dont have that many friends but sometimes i would actually like to hang out with them!!!!! sometimes i like to go antiquing!!!!! thats a thing that makes me happy!!!!! because there aint a lot of 'happy' goin on in my body right now.

i have no time to indulge in my interest either!!! pianos obviously a no go, i cant create art for fun anymore other than doodles in class, i cant do any textile stuff like i like to, i cant paint or dance or play instruments because i have no time.

and my ma has the audacity to say

"your brother got through it, and he has a 4.7 GPA! and he stayed with piano! and he made all these friends and went on dates! but we're never gonna let you date anyone, because that's too mature for you!!!!"

ma.

i havent slept more than three hours in two weeks.

i barely eat, but its not like you care.

ive already told you several times that im suicidal. you've seen my scars. and told me not to do it again or i was grounded.

so.

i love my family prommy<3/s