#batmmanalyzer

[thebatmmanalyzer]

If you are ever looking for other fanfictions to read in this fandom (no pressure ofc), I personally recommend checking out some of the older fics from around 2021. They haven't aged super well imo, but they're still a nice read and better than some of the 2024 fics imo.

I remember liking "A Change of Family" a lot. It's a rewrite of the show with the change of Crusher being adopted by Blaze's family. Do be warned though, it has an ooc Speedrick replacing Crusher's role, as was the sentiment back in the day.

Thank you for the wonderful suggestion! I'll probably read this after I'm done with Cheesecakes and Stars. I would need a good fic after reading the things I had.

But it's going to be in a while. I'm just really slow at reading because I have work to do lol.

Also, I really like your Umizoomi content. Keep up the good work!

[pinkbatmmcritic]

Hi! I'm so happy that you're still posting! But since you've been gone, there's this new person batmmanalyzer. Are you going to be friends or rivals?>:3

friends :3

[thebatmmanalyzer]

This was the book my friend recommended.

Cheesecake and Stars by Anonymous

Here is my commentary on the sixth chapter:

Story critiques and character improvement (?)

BINO or Wilson or whatever you want to name him isn't said much here.

CHAPTER 6

A constant issue that I would like to bring up again is the lack of description of the story. Because with what we have so far, you can't seriously expect the audience to guess what certain phrases mean. What if you had an audience in one fandom but not in the other? Really, some things need to be explained, like the magic system of this world, Force, and whatever fighting style the two boys are doing. The lack of sequence of action is also a fault of this story. Action sequences in books are hard, I admit, but that doesn't mean you can just simplify it to saying "Form 2" because what the heck is Form 2? Is the audience expected to Google it? If the audience has to Google it, then, that means the story failed in its deliverance. And like, when there would be scenes with a lot of description, it would be inconsistent. Like, two people are writing this or something. One person is writing this paragraph and the other wrote the next. This probably isn't the case, but you get my example.

Another thing I would like to address is the way that the characters speak. Because in no way does a fourth of what they say actually function in real-life situations. If they do, then the author could have added more expressions other than curt sighs, grumbled, and mumbled. Maybe it wasn't in their writing expertise yet but describing a character's facial features would be a great way to express how the person actually feels. Especially the eyes. The eyes are the windows to the soul. That is very true in terms of writing.

Another problem is the fact that the storyline doesn't add up. Like, the story continues on and on but then there is just a phrase or a paragraph explanation where it just ruins the whole timeline. It's like talking to Character AI for so long and then the character suddenly just asks "Who are you?" Like, DUDE. You did not just ask who I was when we were MARRIED and had SIX KIDS. I'm exaggerating, but you get what I mean. Again, I have a theory that this was just a roleplay that kids published and got popular, idk.

So, a good thing about this chapter is that Crusher isn't a Damsel in Distress (TM) in this chapter. He got to fight Darry while pushing Blaze out of the fight. And we finally have a bit of insight into the home life of whatever Darry, Ezra, and Crusher had! Honestly, it explained how murder was so normalized. With the way Thrawn reacted to Darry attempting to kill his brother, it sort of made sense. But that only meant that Darry was raised wrong and the core problem was actually HIS PARENTS! Still, I don't think I want Darry to be redeemed. Just because you have a tragic backstory doesn't mean it excuses all of your actions.

Also, can we just talk about how… Normalized this whole "Just date all the guys you want" thing is? Because it sounds a hell lot like cheating. But is it considered cheating if everyone knows the other is involved? This feels a whole lot like an otome game. I mean… It also moves like an otome game… The fights, the plot, the logic…

Live reactions

"I think that would be accurate for you, actually," [I think it would be more beneficial that the author describes these forms rather than just telling the audience which number form they're doing.]

"Who knew Stripes could have a cowardly sister…? Jeez…" [Who knew Crusher had a petty overzealous murder-loving brother. Jeez. Besides, Rose is acting what a normal person actually would. Self-defense ain't going to do NOTHING when a giant wolf snatches your arm and then traps you into a cage.]

She couldn't be revived by a core and she's only human. [Again, an explanation could be nice.]

"Well, fuck you too. Deal first, or I ain't giving SHIT!" Darry scowled. [A deal requires trust. Darry is a villain who kidnaps Blaze's sister and almost kills her. Why would Blaze trust her? Blaze is right for not trusting Darry to go through deals and such.]

Darry shrieked as he felt Crusher move his brain a bit before passing out. [EXCUSE ME?]

"I am to help Ashla, not Bogan, but I have been given as a guide for your brother." Dume spoke. [Lore anyone?]

"Darington, shut up!" [No, no. Let Darington cook.]

Well, that was unexpected. [… what the fuck? You… This is comedic actually. This was funny.]

Pickle stomped on his foot, making Darington wince. [ Am not gonna lie, I like the Pickle vs. Darington rivalry. Darington is such a funny character actually. I hope he doesn't turn bad.]

but I came here to study," [I think you came here to find a job. That was literally the first thing established in the beginning of the story.]

Thrawn snarled and grabbed a bat to smack Darry down. [No wonder murder is so normalized. Darry grew up in THIS environment. What the hell, author…]

Stripes's voice was getting smaller and smaller, as if he was afraid that he might get rejected. [Can I tell you how much I love this boy? I don't care about the others, but this sweet cinnamon roll? I love him. I absolutely love him. Please let nothing bad happen to him.]

"Well… Why don't you go out with all of them?" [Watts, are you okay? Is this another imposter?]

"Or find someone better," Starla added [She's such a mood.]

Sex… he hasn't had that in a while… [Please don't tell me you're actually considering it. I'm disappointed. I had high hopes for Dior.]

Stripes slightly deflated, [Stripes deserves better.]

[thebatmmanalyzer]

And now, a little ditty that summarizes "Cheesecake and Stars"' Blaze (aka BINO): 🎵 Here's an open letter to a treasure of a guy, whose behavior in this fic makes me really wanna cry! He's a nasty, fake red schemer who calls himself a hero, but all I'm saying is that he's more of a ¡bruto! He'll tell you that he likes you, but you're something he can't stand! He's just so full of you-know-what he's gotta double flush the can! He'll tell you that he'll apologize, but he makes you wait and wait! You'd almost rather want to watch drying paint! He's not the guy you think he is, so let me tell you without laze: there's thick red hair between his toes, and his real name isn't Blaze! He's a phony, scheming weasel nose, and his real name isn't Blaze! He steals and he lies, and he's evil, bros, and his real name isn't Blaze!🎵 It's WILSON!

HAHAHAHA! OH MY GAWD!

OH MY GAWWWWWD.

Okay, this made my day.

We're calling Cheesecake and Stars Blaze "Wilson" now.