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mundrakan · 13 days ago

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Masterlist Rare Fandom Kinktober

I think only ONE person was interested, but I have a certain idea who this person is and so I'll do it just for them. In hopes they see it and know that they are important to me :)

2023

Which one? - Witcher treesome

The dubious joy of worship - Castlevania

A story of love - Addams Family

The Knight's order - Don Quixote

Love thy enemy - Arthurian legend (and one of my favourites)

Blushing virgin - Beauty and the beast

Bat in a cave - Batman

Getting Sneaky - Sex Education

Special treatment - Glass Onion (and if you ever want to see a hillarious, perfect, wonderfun gay man, go watch it)

Training - NCIS

Professional medical opinion - Firefly

Canon - Peter Pan (and it is bizarre)

Losers - Futurama

Snow Crow - Game of Thrones

Fear and love - Spartacus - Blood and Sand

If it is like that - Sherlock (BBC)

Old stacks get mouldy - Altered Carbon

Honey trap - Lucifer

Acquisition - We are the night (if you can watch the German original)

Embarrassing urges - Zootopia

Unlucky - Shadow over Innsmouth

In between friends - Ghost in a Shell

More than words - Captain America

Tryst - Downton Abbey

Business - Gattaca

Creative Solutions - Matrix

Purgatory or Heaven - The Old Guard

Deep inside - Original (Dragon Rider Verse)

Mischief - Thor

Expections - X-Men

Half awake - Taboo

2024

Guilty pleasure - Van Helsing (Netflix)

Having a husband - Addams Family

The Risk - Dune

To make a Garou Child - World of Darkness RPG

At knife's edge - Hannibal

A win-win situation - Deep Space Nine

Walking in your shoes - Firefly

In his own cave - Illiad

If only... - V as Vendetta

Travelling - The Old Guard

The seed of success - Altered Carbon

Anxiety relief - NCIS

What I see - Sherlock (BBC)

The Tigress of Oldtown - Sin City

Horizontal Tango - Attempted vertically - X-Men

Sex on the Beach - Cast away (Crack)

Small Amends - Les Miserables

Unsolicited Interruptions - James Bond

Initiate - Frontier

A thief - Goncharov

British Education - Red, White and Royal Blue

Instead of Chocolate Icecream - Dead Boy Detectives

After the job - Witcher

Public relations - The Rookie

On the watch - Dungeon Meshi

Temptress - Gladiator

Object Teaching - Zone Blanche/Black Spot

Hide the Hide - Rings of Power

Female solutions - Dracula

Beneath the surface - Original work (Dragon Rider Verse)

If a link doesn't work, please let me know. Otherwise... enjoy, I appreciate ever read, kudos and comment you grant me.

#Masterlist #kinktober

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punkkboyyluvrr · 10 months ago

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just watched - fool's paradise (2023)

i honestly REALLY loved this movie. i was nervous going in due to a lot of poor reviews i had heard about when it came out, but im honestly super glad i didnt listen to those. charlie days acting and humor was, of course, amazing, and i felt that the cinematography was pretty beautiful. plus, a lot of iasip cast members show up as side characters throughout the movie, so, if nothing else, you can at least go all monkey brain from seeing glenn howerton and co. for about 2 seconds in a few scenes like i did. also, i feel that i should mention that, my god, charlie days skills in showing emotion purely through facial expressions is fucking astounding. i dont think i ever truly appreciated that while watching him perform in its always sunny, considering hes usually just doing some crazy off-the-walls shit in that show rather than showing a wide range of human emotion.

more in depth review + spoilers under cut!

i honestly didnt expect something with so much heart coming from charlie day, mainly because i only really know him from its always sunny, which, obviously, is riddled with tons of cruel and offensive jokes, but i was very pleasantly surprised. right off the bat, the coloring choices show just how aesthetically pleasing it is already. and then, we get introduced to latte, who immediately feels so human and so easy to connect to (although that could just be from my perspective as a neurodivergent person).

ken jeong is another excellent actor, and his portrayal of lenny was surprisingly endearing. his relationship with latte going from a purely business one to that of genuine friendship was a character arc i thoroughly enjoyed watching.

speaking of their relationship arc, the ending... honestly got me pretty fuckin good, i wont lie. while im not a huge fan of the misunderstanding trope in media (and this is no exception), i think the ending made up for it, at least a little bit. first of all, latte carrying around the urn of what he believes to be his best friends ashes felt very sweet, and showed how much he cared about lenny. and then the ending, where the first words he says are "i love you, too"... god. i did expect that the ending would reveal latte speaking for the first time, but i really expected it to be some shitty one-liner or something like that, and im so glad that they didnt go that route. lattes first words being that of affection towards lenny just even further shows how much the two care for each other, both going from being lost and hopeless in the world, in their own ways, to finally having just one person that understands and who actually cares about them. it was a very sweet moment.

while some of the humor can be predictable, and that part near the end about the whole electing for president thing was a bit... eh...? all in all, i think it has too much love and creativity put into it for it to be considered a purely "bad" movie. plus, who doesnt love charlie day?

#milos movie reviews #fools paradise #charlie day #thats right bitches im doin movie reviews on here now B)

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fzzr · 1 year ago

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The Dreaming Boy is a Realist was the most intriguing anime of Summer 2023

Previously

Yumemiru Danshi wa Genjitsushugisha (The Dreaming Boy is a Realist, henceforth "Dreaming Boy") is not a very good anime on the surface. The animation is often awkward or simply missing, the voice cast is just OK, the music is nothing in particular. On top of that, the core conceit of "guy stops harassing girl, girl isn't sure how she feels about this" is a fundamentally bad premise. Despite all that, Dreaming Boy is the anime I thought about and looked forward to most each week.

Getting the main plot of Dreaming Boy out of the way first, it's pretty straightforward. Male protagonist Sajou Wataru has been asking out female protagonist Natsukawa Aika over and over for two years. In episode one he decides it's time to stop. He isn't over her as such, but he decides to spend his time on things other than badgering her. Though she is relieved at first, Aika finds that his sudden retreat leaves a hole in her life that genuinely bothers her. Her friend Kei can see right through them both, and acts as as an especially aggressive Interloper keeping them from drifting completely apart.

This is where the first hint of something unusual comes along. There's a certain type of romcom that suffers from what is sometimes called Shitty Protagonist Syndrome. This is where the lead character is such an asshole that it becomes unbelievable that anyone could ever fall for him. Dreaming Boy somehow has and avoids that problem at the same time. Since we don't see his years of harassment except in retrospect, we're not invested in seeing him be punished, but it's still a thing he did and the premise revolves around him essentially being rewarded for bad behavior. This could have had the effect of pulling me completely out of the show, but....

The thing is, that isn't actually most of the plot. It actually gets treated more like a background feature a lot of the time. Most of what goes on in Dreaming Boy is about broader social interactions and consequences. If you have a poor reputation at school, you will not be taken as seriously when you might be sick. Yeah, it sure is awkward to walk in on a sibling snogging. Getting your first job can be boring or terrifying depending on who you are. Sometimes your initial impression of someone can lead you into making potentially dangerous assumptions.

Most of Dreaming Boy is emotionally intelligent investigations of small alienations. Wataru is sometimes vaguely included in things but has no one in class to really go to bat for him in the moment, nor does he make an effort to join in. It's not just him, either. In each mini-arc, either he or someone he interacts with finds their social position has changed in some small way. What is it like when you move seats in class and your social circle changes? How does it feel to be the rebound? Is it more painful to turn people down or not to be invited at all? How do you respond when everyone asks you if they can hang out with your sibling? Is it worse to be ignored or have a kind of attention you don't appreciate?

We do see Wataru hit some of the usual romcom checkpoints, except instead of dramatic steps toward some fated ending, they're just things that happen. And... that's just how it really is? Not every time you see someone in the hallway will be a conversation that advances your feelings toward them. Getting sick mostly just sucks, even if your crush comes to check if you're OK. No matter how all-consuming your feelings for someone may have felt like in retrospect, chances are it wasn't the defining feature of your life 24 hours a day.

As one example, there's a beach episode that is much more like actually going to the beach than any I've ever seen. You plan it kinda vaguely, because how complicated can going to the beach be? Oops, you miss inviting someone because you waited too long. You see a beach attraction, let's go check it out... nope it's closed. The arts and crafts store is cute and all but making things like that by hand results in something that looks very handmade, or just doesn't come together at all. The whole episode builds up to Aika and Wataru possibly meeting coincidentally at the beach that day and then they just... don't. Was it a beach episode? Yeah, but also it was just... a day at the beach.

The relationships between the characters (other than the leads) are also way more real than you usually see in anime. The most notable one is between Wataru and his sister. They're close enough in age that they get in each other's way socially, but instead of being some dark resentment that someone will have a drama about, it's just yep, that's what having a sibling that close is like. There's no "I'll do anything for you" speech. It's just clear that they're both alert to what is going on in the others life just enough to be able to step in if their help is needed. If one of them asks the other for a favor, even as small as "make me coffee", they will almost always do it with some pro-forma grumbling. It's understated and very clearly based on a real sibling relationships rather than being there to check off a trope from the list.

So what is The Dreaming Boy is a Realist, actually? It's a slice of life show set in the second act of a shitty-protagonist tsundere romcom. Aika and Kei are living in that story, but when it fills Wataru's life with other ladies, it's not a light harem situation. Instead Wataru is navigating and learning from mundane social interactions. It's half of a good show, drowned in half of a bad show. Despite how bad the bad show was, I don't regret watching the good parts.

Conclusion

Score: I stand by the assertion that The Dreaming Boy is a Realist is not very good in absolute terms. I would give it a 6/10 at best from a purely technical standpoint. However, something that makes me think like this definitely earns some extra credit, so I'm putting it down as a 7/10.

Recommendation: No one needs to watch this. There are actually good shows that dig in to under-addressed corners of human social and emotional ambiguity. But... there aren't a ton of those, either, by definition. Just saying.

Comparisons

I looked at Dreaming Boy as a modified take on the shitty-protagonist romance, so I get to talk about Saekano again! In Saekano, the protagonist starts the series with a tendency to project onto others the traits he expects of them. He trespasses on the feelings and boundaries of others because he's interacting with them based on how he thinks they should respond, rather than who they are. His growth over the series is in very large part about learning to see people as who they actually are. Wataru's story is more about social and emotional transparency, making sure everyone is on the same page about their actions and feelings. Since Dreaming Boy isn't (and probably never will be) complete it's hard to compare them head to head, but conceptually Saekano has the advantage thanks to being more willing to call out the protagonist for his bullshit.

Oregairu involves a kinda glum guy who can fix everyone's problems other than his own. It tends to go much deeper into the problems, and the results vary quite a lot. The big improvement over Dreaming Boy is that it has much more respect for the female leads. When he hurts one of them in his greed, it's a catastrophic event and the show does not hold back in holding him to account. Unfortunately Dreaming Boy will probably not get far enough along for me to see how it would handle such an event, but I can't help but wonder what it would take to push Wataru toward making amends more affirmatively.

Onegai☆Teacher is another show with genuine heart under a trashy premise. In that one, a high school student marries his teacher, who is a hot alien babe, due to a whole situation. It presents itself as extremely horny (and it is) but just when you think it's about to start paying off on all the lewd setup... surprise! This is actually a show with a plot and themes and all those good things. It doesn't have to ignore its setup to do that, either. Sex is a part of life. Instead of holding it back, its willingness to engage with the physical on a deeper level elevates it. I'm not sure Dreaming Boy could have been redeemed in that way, but it's a fact that such a feat is possible.

Horimiya is the best example of a slice of life romance out there. It's arranged inversely from Dreaming Boy, in that it's a romance inside a slice of life rather than a slice of life inside a romance. The romance itself is too different to even contrast. The real point of interesting comparison is in how they handle their characters. Horimiya has an ensemble cast and we see most of them from multiple angles. Dreaming Boy doesn't let as many characters hold the point of view, but it still manages to have its supporting cast show different angles as Wataru learns about their situations and challenges. Obviously Horimiya is still way better, it was just surprising to see Dreaming Boy reaching for that same ring.

Final Thoughts

Oof, bad luck to Dreaming Boy for having to go up against four different 9/10 shows at the end there. That's also a part of the paradox, though. It deserves to be considered among the greats even as it lives with the dreck.

I wish I could say that Dreaming Boy deserved better implementation — better art, better acting, whatever — but it doesn't, really. The technical problems do not change that the gems of insight are trapped underneath a wrongheaded premise. "I wish it had a completely different main plot" is not something that can be fixed with polish. Still, I can't help but think if the author had found a different vehicle for the stories Dreaming Boy actually wants to tell, maybe it would have deserved it all.

#anime #summer 2023 anime #the dreaming boy is a realist #yumemiru danshi wa genjitsushugisha #original post

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thecynicalcinephile · 1 year ago

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So, About Haunted Mansion (2023),

Fans of the ride, like myself, will have a delightful time thanks to the abundance of easter eggs, some of which are relatively deep cuts. Everyone else will get a few good laughs, but the film is ultimately hollow with no real heart whatsoever.

Right off the bat, this film makes the too-common mistake of placing far too much emphasis on the emotions and interpersonal relationships between the human characters. Don't get me wrong, those things are important, but this sort of film needs to be about spectacle if it's going to work. There are scenes in here where you can feel that the directors understood that, with ghosts flying around every which way and maniacal laughter echoing through the halls, but then it immediately cuts to a quiet restrained scene that takes any tension established by the previous scene and throws it out the window. One instance of this, near the end of the film, literally made me facepalm at the sheer stupidity of it.

In theory this could've worked with a better script, editing, or acting, but either way there's something just not there. These quiet emotional scenes have no positive effect on the film because at no point am I even remotely convinced that any of these characters feel any deep emotion whatsoever. You can't spend half your runtime on an emotional subplot if there's no actual emotion in it.

And of course if we're going to talk about the subplot, we should probably talk about the main plot. More specifically, the villain. The whole plot of this film is that the Hatbox Ghost is the scariest thing in the mansion, to the point that every other ghost is terrified of him, and he's performing some ritual that needs 1000 souls and if the ritual succeeds he'll be able to... do something bad? Maybe? We never get any details other than a frowny face, which doesn't do a lot to establish the stakes. Also it's implied that he created the mansion, but also stated that he came there through a seance, so which is it? Make up your mind.

But of course, the effects are usually good in most scenes and there are a few good jokes, so there's that. There are also some very lovely scenes where the assorted ghosts in the mansion are actually allowed to properly interact with the main cast and serve as full characters, which were very enjoyable. If only we'd gotten more of that.

As a die-hard fan of the ride, I do also have to give a shoutout to some other elements of the film. For instance, although we knew this film took place at the Anaheim mansion, bringing in the Florida mansion as well in Act 3 nearly made me jump out of my seat. I also can't help but feel that the scene with Constance leaving her portrait was a reference to an early concept for the ride, and that the brief scene where a ghost possesses a candle was a reference to everyone's favorite abandoned concept, the wax candle man. I also appreciated how many inventions of the film would still feel right at home in the ride, such as the kid's bed which resembles a massive set of jaws.

However, this is a double-edged sword, because as a fan there were also a number of things I definitely did not like. Biggest of all, Constance Hatchaway herself, the most iconic ghost in the mansion, one of the few characters in the ride who is supposed to be actually scary, gets about two sequences before she is reduced to just another ghost in the crowd. She is the undisputed most important piece of the Haunted Mansion narrative, and one of the only characters with solid lore, and yet she's almost brushed aside.

Additionally, this film makes what I feel is a very big mistake in the fact that they gave the Hatbox Ghost a name and a backstory. The beautiful thing about the mansion ride is that there's almost no fixed lore. Every character is an invitation to come up with your own headcannons for who they are and what their deal is. This has always gone double for Hatbox, since he was practically an urban legend for decades. Giving him a name robs him of the mysteriousness that drew fans to him in the first place. You may as well just make a whole new character instead.

At the end of the day, there are three Haunted Mansion movies: The Eddie Murphy one, the Muppets one, and this one. I really wanted to like this one and hoped it would beat the others by a mile. Unfortunately, it seems the Muppets one still reigns supreme, with this one only somewhat beating out Murphy's. Whereas you might get some fun out of this, I must strongly recommend waiting for the inevitable Disney+ release in a few months.

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lynsaylovepenuliar · 1 year ago

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Travelogue: Journey of Remembrance and Celebration

By: Lynsay Love Penuliar

Have you experienced beach waves with relaxing sound on the shore? Join me on a heartfelt journey from Forest Lake Memorial Park to San Fabian Beach in Pangasinan, Philippines, as we begin on a voyage that combines these sentiments. Our goal is to pay tribute to a beloved grandmother before celebrating a friend's birthday on a breathtaking motorcycle ride from Manila to Pangasinan.

Pangasinan, derived its name from the word "panag asinan" which means "where salt is made" owing to the rich and fine salt beds which were the prior source of livelihood of the province's coastal towns.

My friends and I went to Pangasinan in January 2023 to celebrate my friend's birthday and to visit his grandmother's grave, and it was a memorable adventure that I will cherish forever. We decided to rest before heading to our main destination because it was still midnight when we arrived at Pangasinan. When I woke up I saw that some of my friends were packing their things and the others were still sleeping, so I decided to fix myself and start packing my things as well.

"Lablab, sakay na!"

My friend said to me and I hopped into his motorcycle, he started his engine and drove like a lightning flash.

"Forest Lake Memorial Park, lugar kung saan nakalibing si mama (his grandmother)."

I heard him murmuring and I saw a down hearted look on his face.

We begin our journey at Forest Lake Memorial Park, a place where memories reside and spirits find solace. As we walk through the serene pathways adorned with vibrant blooms and lush greenery, we arrive at the final resting place of your friend's grandmother. With utmost respect, we pay our respects, leaving behind flowers and heartfelt messages. The tranquil atmosphere offers solace, allowing us to reflect on the lives of those who have touched our hearts.

"Teka-teka, bat wala na sila" I said to myself.

I stayed calm and immediately opened waze to guide my friend on the way. As the sun begins to descend, casting a warm glow upon the horizon, we arrive at San Fabian Beach. The gentle waves invite us to unwind and immerse ourselves in the coastal charm. With laughter and camaraderie, we celebrate my friend's birthday, creating cherished memories against the backdrop of the shimmering sea. The beach comes alive with music, laughter, and the aroma of delicious food, as we savor the moment and embrace the joyous spirit of life.

“The waves come in as a deep aquamarine and turn golden as they churn the sand on the shore. Each hue is made more pretty by the brilliant white of the crests, drawing the eye away from the cloudless sky.”

By: Angela Abraham

Waking up to the sound of crashing waves, we seize the day to explore the wonders of San Fabian Beach. The morning brings opportunities for water sports, and we eagerly take part in activities such as island hopping and banana boat rides. The azure waters and abundant marine life offer a refreshing and exhilarating experience. As the day unfolds, we indulge in delectable local cuisine, enjoying fresh seafood delicacies that satisfy our taste buds.

As our time in San Fabian draws to a close, we take a moment to bid farewell to the beach that has brought us so much joy. We gather one last time, capturing memories through photographs and cherishing the bonds forged during this meaningful trip. The return journey to Manila presents an opportunity for reflection, as we contemplate the significance of honoring loved ones' memories while embracing the beauty of life's celebrations.

“Magkita na lang tayo ulit pag may susunod na celebration” my friend said and wink to me.

Our journey from Forest Lake Memorial Park to San Fabian Beach encapsulated the essence of life's intricate tapestry. In paying homage to a grandmother's memory, we found solace and appreciation for the past. On the exhilarating motorcycle ride and joyful celebration at San Fabian Beach, we embraced the spirit of adventure and the joyous moments that life offers. This journey taught us the importance of remembering, celebrating, and cherishing the experiences that shape our lives, leaving an indelible mark on our hearts and souls.

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whimsicaldragonette · 2 years ago

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ARC & Audio ARC Review: Infamous by Lex Croucher

Preorder

Add to Goodreads

Publication Date: March 21, 2023

Synopsis:

22-year-old aspiring writer Edith 'Eddie' Miller and her best friend Rose have always done everything together-climbing trees, throwing grapes at boys, sneaking bottles of wine, practicing kissing . . . But following their debutante ball Rose is suddenly talking about marriage, and Eddie is horrified. When Eddie meets charming, renowned poet Nash Nicholson, he invites her to his crumbling Gothic estate in the countryside. The entourage of eccentric artists indulging in pure hedonism is exactly what Eddie needs in order to forget Rose and finish her novel. But Eddie might discover the world of famous literary icons isn't all poems and pleasure . . .

My Rating: ★★★★

*My Review below the cut.

My Review:

I really enjoyed this book, although there were many places where it dragged a bit and felt too-long. I also don't know that I would call it "the best laugh-out-loud Regency romp of 2022" as it is advertised. There were funny moments, but a lot of it was more Eddie being painfully oblivious to what was going on around her. She's so in her head and fixated on the idea of being a published writer - as well as in complete denial about how she feels about Rose - that she doesn't really see what's happening until it's (metaphorically) hit her across the head a few times.

Poor long-suffering Rose stands by Eddie faithfully until she has to take a stand (which, good for her) and even then Eddie doesn't wake up to what's going on. Really, Eddie has a lot of growing up to do in this book before she becomes a likeable character. I was constantly tempted to shake Eddie and go "oh, come on!"

Nash was an excellent villain. He at first seemed fun and playful, and the scene with him charming Eddie's entire outlandish oddball family was endearing. Nash's charming of everyone takes on a darker cast, however, as the book progresses and his true character comes to light. As with everything else, his true character comes to light MUCH later for Eddie than for everyone else, as she is again painfully oblivious and in complete denial. She's fixated on the idea that he can get her published and all else is seemingly easy for her to ignore.

The 'house party' adventure gets wilder and stranger the longer it goes on, and I felt a lot of secondhand embarrassment at Eddie's refusal to see what's happening around her. Or maybe it's just a willingness to overlook just about anything with the dangling possibility of a book deal.

I mean, the house practically falls down around their ears and no one bats an eyelash. To say that the people in Nash's orbit are strange is… an understatement.

I found the cast of weirdos to be quite wonderful, however. I've always been drawn to the outcasts and those who buck the strictures of society, so I did appreciate the bohemian outlook they had. And I liked them all the way to the end - it's just Nash (and to a lesser extent his wife) that gets revealed to be more terrible every day.

The ending was cathartic after the mess that went down, and after Eddie's eyes are opened to a few things. Eddie still isn't my favorite character, but I did like her more by the end, even though I don't think she does enough to earn Rose's forgiveness.

The writing was really beautiful and evocative, and the audiobook performance was great. The narrator did a fabulous job capturing everyone's mood and personality, and the voices the narrator chose were perfect for the characters.

*Thanks to NetGalley, St. Martin's Press, and Bonnier UK Audio for providing an early copy for review.

#netgalley #arc review #lex croucher #infamous #lgbt+ romance #queer romance #lgbt+#shilo reads #romance #audio arc review #audiobook review #book review #historical romance #regency romance

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junker-town · 6 years ago

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My prepared comments for Ronald Acuña’s Hall of Fame induction

Acuña had a heck of a rookie season. Here’s hoping he’s in for a long, fun career.

Ronald Acuña, Jr. has had quite the rookie season with the Braves. If you’ve been paying any attention at all you know that Atlanta is ahead of schedule in their playoff efforts at least partly thanks to Acuna’s play.

He’s undoubtedly a star, and at only 20 years old (somehow) we will hopefully be watching him for a decade or more to come. And someone who will be just as bright, gregarious, entertaining, and talented for all of that time.

In celebration of a debut season that saw Acuña hit .293 with 26 home runs and a franchise record streak of lead-off home runs, and in advance of his first postseason appearance, I decided to write up some brief remarks for Acuña’s Hall of Fame induction many years from now. While you read them, I have to go cast some anti-jinx spells I found online to make sure I’m not ruining his career while doing this.

~~~

Hello,

What a beautiful day! Let’s all be glad the smoke pollution affecting much of the Northeastern United States is leaving Cooperstown alone right now. It almost feels like 2023 again, being able to see the sun and all.

With that aside, you all know why we’re here today. Ronald Acuña, Jr. is being inducted into the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame in his first eligible year. If that weren’t impressive enough, we can’t forget to mention he is also the first player to ever unanimously be voted into the Hall of Fame, finally surpassing Ken Griffey, Jr.’s 99.32 percent of votes after decades of other players trying. No one thought we’d ever see the day. Even Grant Brisbee, who is finally a Hall of Fame voter and harbored an unhealthy grudge against Acuña after he single-handedly led the Braves to a 2031 World Series win after taking the NLCS crown from the first-place Giants, voted for him.

Everyone assembled on this lawn knows his bonafides, but let’s recap them so as to fully appreciate what he accomplished over his lengthy and inspirational career. Acuña retired in 2042 at the age of 44 after becoming the first person to hit 1,000 career home runs. Even that one season where he suddenly became obsessed with dog agility contests and retired to train Border Collies and win the American Kennel Club National Agility Championship could not derail his 50-plus home runs-per-year pace.

Acuña hit a home run off of every pitcher he ever faced at least once. Including Mariano Rivera, who came out of retirement just to have the honor of Acuña hitting a dinger off of him. That moment was almost overshadowed by the strange coincidence of Gin Blossoms leads singer Robin Wilson being the one to catch that historic ball and not giving it back to the Braves until they paid him $6 million for it, a request and situation we still do not have an explanation for all these years later.

But what a moment it was. Of course we all remember his 800th home run, when his bat flip twirled so high it hit the windows of press row. As the first athlete to ever hold sponsorship deals with Nike, Adidas, and Under Armour at the same time, the style of the trio of congratulatory commercials that followed — each holding a clue to unlock a safe located in Fort Pulaski that was holding one-of-a-kind custom Acuña cleats worth $20,000 — will probably never be seen again.

For two decades and more, Acuña has been a constant presence at Coca Cola-SunTrust-CNN Park Resort and State Capital. While it was disappointing the bill that would have his face being added to Mount Rushmore was vetoed by President Guerrero, Jr. (part of the still-lingering fallout from the 2028 home run race that Vlad, Jr. lost, 69-68), I am pleased to announce on behalf of Governor Albies that the petition to have Georgia’s coastline carved into Acuña’s profile is strongly being considered and his Hall of Fame induction can only help increase the positive groundswell needed to make it happen.

It would be thoughtless of me not to also give credit to Acuña’s family and friends, who are here today to watch him enter the hallowed halls of Cooperstown.

Where would he be without his wife Zendaya and their three children, a family that has constantly supported each other and the first couple to have three Oscars and three World Series rings between them (Zendaya’s two Academy Awards of course came from her esteemed collaborations with directorial team Sir and Rumi Carter, while Acuña won his Best Picture Oscar for his production credit on The Captain Going Down With His Ship: The Story of How Derek Jeter Ruined the Marlins).

It’s been quite a career. Even the downsides, like the time he accidentally drove then-Braves manager Joe Mauer into an early retirement by insisting the team do a group singalong of “Sussudio” before every game for good luck. Or the time he started a feud with Kiké Hernandez over who was better at Skee Ball and it crashed Instagram’s servers.

But even those blemishes are much funnier in the rearview, without the pearl clutching by baseball media overshadowing the humor of the infighting. Because I think we can all agree Acuña is the greatest baseball player of our time, and even though we only had the inklings of how great he would become back during his home run spree of August 2018, he has more than surpassed anyone’s expectations.

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