#basically what im saying is that you can predict how 'anti' people will be towards something by its proximity to aelin

[gwendolynalbrecht]

A none fan Re-Write Idea for TLOS2 (please dont kill me)

Okay... this will be long and first things first: Im not a fan. Or an angry guy. I know the very basics of the first game and as someone who enjoyed zombies (yes yes they are infected hush hush) and gaming quite a bit I stumbled over the leaks and rumors and the absolute horrible way Naughty Dog is acting. Towards their paying, loyal, fanbase... and customers most importanlty. So I gave the plot a look. Listening to the honest player reviews and yes I fully understand the anger and the disappointment really. SPOILERS Now imagine your favorite show. You favorite character, husbando, waifu son or daughter who cares, and in the long awaited next episode, the wait was long, your fanfavorite beloved character gets killed in the least caring manner possible and overly brutal to boot wouldnt you be just the smallest bit sad or mad too? Especially if they were dumped down to even die? To a point where they are out of character? We all would be come on. And its kinda sad too, we dont get many good dad characters in general.  Anyway I looked the plot over and I think we can all agree that its boring and predictable at best and utter dogshit (how fitting) at worst. And I had a bit of a thought on how the revenge idea could still work even with a bit of focus on gender and sexuality with the girls in focus still.  This is based on a YouTubers idea too, I couldnt find him again but I still wanted to mention it. So from what I know Ellie? Has a girlfriend, which is cute they seem adorkable from the material I viewed but lets get mean. What if, keeping all the (misleading) trailers in mind, the girlfriend is the one killed. Yes I know. We dont want to end our queer peeps all the time but Ellie still counts and she is one badass after all. But we are in the endtimes, mankinds numbers have dwindled, tribes exist again, it wouldnt be farfetched to find one if not more groups of fanatical people who are anti same-sex relationships because those couples cant reproduce and “safe” the speices. And Ellie and her girlfriend (so sorry I dont remember her name and I just want to smack my idea in your faces while its fresh) in the beginning and set up hours run into one, we are introduced the the nutters, the poor girl dies and our revenge plot is on the go. Ellie tries to sneak away later and like in the trailer EndtimeDad Joel? Tells her he will go with her, like the good bloody dad he is/was and we get into the game.  Now here is one of my huge ideas for Abby. We can keep most of her backstory really, her dad dying due to Joel and all. BUT and thats a big big juicy BUT Abby is NOT the one who kills Joel. In fact they never meet. Follow me here alright? This is anti revenge right? In a bleak, everyone may die universe. So what if Joel dies, protecting Ellie during the hunt / research part of the game. He is gone and out of the way, him dying for Ellie would probably make his death more impactful than the cheap provided shock value they provided and we still get the dead dad. Ellie now alone with no one else by her side has nothing else to keep driving her forward but her revenge.  And back to Abby, Im not to sure how to properly get her gameplay in, she would still be hunting Joel so she would of course be unaware of his death. And perhaps the girls cross paths much sooner in that near cult like groups outpost (maybe they have more settlements) Abby stumbles into them and her buff appearance have her mistaken as trans and she gets captured, her captors refusing to listen to reason, showing just how insane these lunatics are at that point. And they decide to maybe kill her or fore her to breed something horrible, we dont have to shy back from that after all.  At that place I would let the girls meet actually. Ellie finding that place on her hunt for that killer of her GF and she frees Abby and some other captives maybe, they escape together with one of them maybe getting injured, they stick together for a bit and bond vengance and the search for a murder being something they have in common but it ultimately comes out that Ellie knew and was close to Joel which creates a huge rift, but also at that point Abby learns the man she has hunted is already dead. (which tbh would be half expected I mean the world isnt that easy to survive in) and we are first hit with the over all theme of the game of revenge being meaningless in the end. As Abby has to face the fact that the man had died, like anyone else. She know finds herself empty and lost, very angry too the girls fighting for sure and Ellie is presented with the lie from the first games ending. Either way she still has her goal and while we get to see her struggle with that information she will move on and the girls split up with Abby now having no meaning or goal and we might delve into some serious dark places with her mentally but she stumbles into a side plot and finds other purpose. This is were my idea slowly loses detail since I obviously dont know how to fully hammer home a good “revenge is futile” ending for Ellie, maybe its still similar to the one we got, with her giving up but perhaps she found someone else who opened her eyes as sappy and clichee as it would be, someone she might met when staking out an outpost or something DISCLAIMERS: No no Im not a salty fanbrat I promise, I feel like the game had some massive potential and just wanted to share a creative little spark I got from it.  !!! I dont think I can make or write a better story than the game developers !!! Im not saying this would have turned out better !!! THIS IS JUST FOR FUNZIES!!! Why not share your own ideas, Im sure we got some FanFic authors around here and some AU fun stories sound like a good little creative exercise, you could take any show, book, game that might have disappointed you and give it your own spin, no harm done after all. This was litereally just something that popped to my mind with the plot points I gathered 

[aelinbitch-archive]

1. 

(that one is you)

2. YES!!!! YES HOLY SHIT!!!!! You just put into words something I’ve thought vaguely about for so gd long which is that none of these people even agree!! on ANYTHING! The absolute ONLY thing the #anti sjm tag can’t have is pro-aelin stuff. Anything else? Doraelin? Chaolaena? Malide? Loving every character except Aelin and Rowan? Totally fair game and you are still considered a Woke AntiSJM Queen even though you.... like everything but the main character. Or not even everything - it’s a total choose your own adventure of stuff to declare Redeemable(TM). Anything that’s not aelin!

2.5. That just made me think of something else interesting (is that the correct order of words....? I’m so tired rn) which is that hating Aelin also comes with the agreement that you hate anything that is perceived as an Aelin... accessory. Namely, Rowan. Because he’s seen as an extension of Aelin: he makes her happy and is mainly there to support her (although re: these-people-can’t-agree-on-anything, there’s also abuse allegations so...??). And the fae in general are seen as an extension of Aelin, I think. People love to roll their eyes at SJM’s hOt FaE MaLeS and I think a big part of that is that our introduction to the fae is during heir of fire, aka totally from aelin’s pov. That “culture” is her thing. (The same criticisms are not leveled at the witches and their “culture” because that’s Manon’s terf, which we all know is #sacred). Now, if DORIAN was fae.... hm! I wonder if some medium to high-intensity dick riding wouldn’t be going on. But one can only speculate. Maybe Aelin’s connection to the fae is so powerful they’d just say she ruined Dorian by making him fae. 

But yeah it’s like... the characters you’re “allowed” to like while being an #anti are characters that are totally/partially divorced from Aelin’s (and by supposed extension, SJM’s) whole deal. It’s like SJM intended for us to disagree with Chaol in qos, so agreeing with him is some kind of revolutionary subversive act of rebellion against SJM’s evil ways (which is just so fucking funny because the opinions you have to have to agree with the shit Chaol says in qos are..... ykw nvm). And malide qualifies for this because manon is bizarrely seen as some kind of Anti-Aelin (dark aelin....), and dorian too because.... idk he just does. They like him so he must be good lol. Probably the main thing is that his storyline, like manon elide chaol’s etc, is divergent enough from Aelin’s (unlike Rowan and co’s) that they can still read about him and pretend she doesn’t exist lmfao.

2.75. I hate myself for being this bad at organizing my thoughts, but something my brain vomited onto the post earlier caught my eye. Antis either hate Rowan because he’s a hOt FaE MaLe and too easy on Aelin and never criticizes her like their woke king Chaol, OR because they think he’s abusive towards her. And either way? Literally either fucking way? It’s still seen as Aelin/SJM’s fault. If Rowan is a yes-man who only exists to fuck and praise Aelin, SJM is into that - gross! If Rowan is an abuser, SJM is into that - gross! And since we all know Sarah and Aelin are the same person... [insert man in front of giant board of conspiracy theories reaction pic]

3. Ok what the fuck else was I even going to say I’m so fired up. Oh yeah about sjm “ruining” their precious babies... “chaol, dorian, manon and even elide, are all characters that have been given a wealth of space, development and page time, in a series that started out as not being about them at all.” YES!!! EXACTLY. Chaol quite literally got an entire spinoff novel about him. Manon is practically a second main character. I would love to read the “thousands of pages kissing Aelin’s ass” people always talk about. I think my copy of THAT book got lost in the mail. 

4. You are so right about abandoning her books altogether being the easy decision. For a sec there I was honestly this close to becoming an anti (or just deleting my blog and never interacting with fandom) because 1) I knew SJM had made terrible decisions and that tog genuinely had a fuck ton of flaws and 2) antis do a really, really, really good job of making you feel fucking stupid for being a fan. And if I didn’t like Aelin.... yeah tbh I probably wouldn’t be a fan. Liking Aelin is literally the reason I’m still here because when I started to interact more and more with “anti” content I just couldn’t do it because all of them DESPISE her and reading anti-Aelin posts genuinely makes my stomach hurt lol. It sounds embarrassing but I’m not even kidding when I say my heart races. She has been an inspiration to me literally since m*ddle sch*ol and there’s just no fucking way for me to drop her. 

5. About the original query of: why acotar = tog?? (I love eloquence and writing and being an eloquent writer) I think what you said about abandoning EVERYTHING sjm has done being the easy/”woke” choice is spot-on. I also think that the system of seeing Aelin as SJM’s insert within the story and then allowing yourself to enjoy anything that isn’t involved with her can be applied to acotar if you replace Aelin with Rhysand/Feyre... although I don’t wanna speak too soon because I didn’t even finish that series slkfjadjfsdfa; so I wouldn’t really know. Either way what I’m saying is that they find the same justifications to keep reading/buying those books because the (frankly impressive) mental gymnastics routine they’ve developed for “reading tog in an anti-sjm way” can also be applied to acotar. 

6. Literally just copy and paste ur last paragraph here. Holy fuck yes every word. 

7. I would die for you

Another really interesting/weird/whatever thing I’ve noticed about people’s opinions of tog, I guess mainly “anti” opinions, is that there’s like… no separation from sjm’s other work. Much more than #anti tog I see #anti sjm, meaning both tog and acotar and I guess just her as a person?

Like at some point I was mutuals with someone who shared a lot of my opinions - really loved tog and found a lot of value in it, but also very critical of it and didn’t pull punches when it came to pointing out flaws. And then at some point they just started posting straight-up anti tog stuff - like saying they hated the series and Aelin was the worst and there wasn’t a single redeeming factor. If you went to their blog and searched “tog” it was like a few recent anti posts at the top and then an immediate switch to rowaelin fanart, with pretty much no division in between. And I was like “woah, when did that happen?” so I messaged and asked, and they were like “Oh, acowar was when she lost me. I just can’t be a fan anymore.”

And that is so fascinating to me. Ever since I started thinking about it I can’t stop noticing it everywhere - people send asks that are like “I hate Aelin/Rhysand and Mor, Manon, and Chaol deserved better” and tag issues that are really solely about acotar with #anti tog (or vice versa) and #anti sjm as if it’s all one package deal. 

It’s all “sjm stans this” and “sjm stans that” and it’s like girl… I’m not an “sjm stan” lmfao she and I are not friends and I’m not even ~that~ into acotar I’m just here for Ms Aelin Galathynius… And in other fandoms I feel like it’s normal to have that kind of separation but here people treat Aelin like she snuck out of the book and collaborated with sjm to break up malide.

Maybe this happens in every fandom? I wouldn’t really know but I guess I just don’t see people being like “I HATED what Joss Whedon did with the Avengers he’s misogynist and terrible fuck him #anti buffy the vampire slayer”. You know? It’s just interesting.

[shipping-n-handling]

do you honestly still ship bellarke after that finale? im furious at jroth and the writers for baiting us this season imma bout to leave this fucking show. fuck this

Hey anon. Normally I don’t answer asks like this, but I’m seeing a lot of frustration on here and thought I would put out my two cents.

This show is dark. This show is angsty. And this show makes us ache deep in our chests for the characters we’ve seen go from plucky delinquents to the bloody warriors and anti-heroes they are now. I say anti-hero because almost every single character has done some really fucked up shit on this show. Massacres, betrayal, assassinations, freaking CANNIBALISM. The list goes on and on. In short, this show is not for the faint of heart. That being said, I understand how some people cling to the various ships and friendships in the show, as they can seem like rafts of light in the massive angst-storm that is the plot. However, I always try to urge people not to hold on to the show simply for the ships. It’s okay to really be invested in a relationship or a character on the show, and there have been some shows that I watch that for some arcs, it is the  thing I cling to. But no matter what, there needs to be something else about the show that you love, or that you at the very least find interesting. If not, especially if the ship or character that you love has been having a hard time or is going through an angsty arc, you can end up resenting the show for not giving you the content that you’re hoping for. Again, its okay to hope for development in ships and characters! Ship away! Just please compliment that with other things so that you’re not holding onto the show with a thread and dragging down the rest of us, who actually enjoy it, with negativity and hate towards the cast/writers. 

On that note, I will freely admit to being a little frustrated about how flip-floppy Jason has been with the bellarke fans. But I have to remember that he is trying to promote the show and that this is all for money, people. It’s not an attack on fans personally. Television is a business and needs to be marketed as such to bring people in, and thus generate revenue. If a particular ship is popular and that is how they get viewers, that’s the people they’re going to try and draw in. Does it feel like betrayal when they make you think one thing is going to happen and then they pull a 180? Of course! But that is the reality of television. If everything was exactly how the fandom thought it was going to be, where is the fun in that? Some of the best fanfics and fan art I’ve ever seen has been the result of a frustrated fan who wanted to express their love for a character/ship and let others share in that joy when the show itself wasn’t giving them that at the time. Disappointments are a part of life. 

I know many people wanted bellarke to finally become canon this season. I did to! But this is a slow-burn (150+ years now!), and anyone who had been watching this show since the beginning or close to it knows exactly how long it has been watching those two idiots go from enemies to friends to partners to something a little more. And in reality, we got a lot of stuff this season; Clarke calling Bellamy on the radio, him finding out Clarke is still alive, basically everything with Madi and her trying to get them together or at least talk, their reunion scene, Clarke’s reaction to Bellamy and Echo being together, the whole arc with her betraying him and then severely regretting it, finding out Bellamy was still alive, and trying to make up for it by finally helping her friends, and then of course all the goodies we got in the finale. There’s probably tons of stuff I’m missing, but the point is we may not have gotten a kiss, declarations of love, marriage, babies, or any of that. But we did get little things here and there that are really telling of where these characters are coming from and how they will move forward in the future. We know that they are getting another season and I saw on here yesterday that they are even pretty sure they’re getting a season after that! So there is still plenty of time for Clarke and Bellamy to work out exactly how their relationship is going to evolve and change. Because despite all the crap I’ve been through personally with this angst-filled show, I still have hope. And that, I think, is one of the fundamental tenets of the 100; to be faced with utter hopelessness but keep pushing forward because you have hope of a better tomorrow. It may take forever to get there, but when it happens dear god will it be satisfying. And if the show ends and we never get canon bellarke, I will say right now that I will be upset. But I still will have gotten to watch a very good, gritty, dark, and emotional show that has honestly helped me form a few opinions of mine about human nature and for real some things about humans making AIs (that ALIE arc fucked me up emotionally *sobs forever). I love Octavia, Kane, Abby (maybe a little less this year but I still love her), RAVEN, Shaw now, Murphy’s sarcastic snarky ass, Emori, Diyoza (yeah, ikr??), and I will forever miss Jasper, Lexa, Jaha, LINCOLN, now Monty and Harper, and tons of other characters that still live on in fan fiction. 

Basically, I know that this season was rough and I send virtual hugs to everyone who is emotionally aching from the finale and all that has happened to our beloved characters. But if you are waiting for ships to suddenly become all happy and sappy, you have been watching the wrong show. This is dark, gritty, and not too keen on giving happy endings. And you know what? That’s fine. Life isn’t fair and is hardly kind. If you want to watch something that lets you escape from your current reality and feel nice and fluffy and happy, please for the love of god watch another show. But if you want to stick with it and get invested in the characters and the mythology, with the adventure and betrayal, the blood and the sacrifices, if you want to root for ships that may not be textbook boy(or girl) meets girl (or boy) and lives happily ever after but are raw and compelling and angsty, please do. I’m a slut for angst, so I love all the will-they-won’t-they stuff. However, I love at the end of all that angst for there to be a happy ending of sorts. And that is where the hope part comes in. I’m sticking with the show and will see it to its end. If you want to join me, I have a nice comfy chair right beside me and we can sit here and cry together. :’)

All that being said, I fully respect your choice to leave if that is what will make you happy. I will never stand here on my soap box and say that people are quitters for not sticking with the show through all the angst. Some people just aren’t looking for that kind of emotional pain and I get that. I want people to be happy and to enjoy their content. For me, I love a bunch of shows that vary in emotional levels. I love Supergirl and the Flash which are happy and light shows most of the time, but I also love Game of Thrones, which is notoriously dark and bloody and almost never has a happy or predictable ending. To each their own; pop into the ship tags every now and then to see how your favorite pairing is doing. But please don’t harass those people who still love the show and are currently watching it with messages like the ones in my inbox now, about how I’m a shitty and stupid person for supposedly being manipulated by the writers and buying into their bullshit. And please don’t harass the cast, crew, or the writers no matter how much you think it may be their fault. They are just doing their jobs and have enough problems without haters and harassers heckling them every step of the way. Be kind, be courteous, and, please be smart. This got really long, but I just felt that I had to say something. Sorry for the book anon, but you caught me in a mood! ;) I hope you make a decision about the show that makes you happy. All I ask is that you don’t achieve it at the cost of someone else’s. 

[groundramon]

I saw an Allura/Lotor gif and I'm a little worried. Allura is a confirmed teenager while Lotor is god knows how old?? I'm scared Stormy

HEY SO I FORGOT TO ANSWER THIS ANON BEFORE, SORRY I answered it vaguely in a non-answer post when I got it because I didnt wanna post spoilers, but then I had the intention of answering it a few days later with more detail and i….forgot fkjghfkh

But I actually have a lot to say about Allura/Lotor so here’s your mandatory spoiler warning and here’s what I have to say about it:

I guess the first thing to point out is that Lotor’s age is unconfirmed…well, besides “centuries” but that can mean anything.  I think we can confirm that galra age differently than humans, we just don’t know on what scale, so he’s probably not an old man who just looks young and luxurious for some reason.  (I would have thought alteans would age in a similar way, and in fact that may be the case considering allura only has a confirmed “teenager” age and not an actual number, but I don’t know.)

Having said that, I’m currently functioning with the mindset that he’s a young adult, maybe college-aged.  After all, he’s been “studying for centuries” so even if 100 years = 10 galra years, he’s been studying for centuries and probably didn’t begin studying until he was at least highschool aged.  I think he’s young, but not quite as young as Allura.

I think its important to keep in mind that his age is unconfirmed from a discourse-related standpoint, but I feel like he’s probably more than a teenager, but it’s not like it matters in the voltron fandom anyways sooo…  But Voltron has surprised us with ages before (Matt, even Allura to an extent - I always thought she was older and I wasn’t the only one among anti/”technically im an anti but i dont wanna get involved in the discourse” friends of mine) so it’s still good to keep that in mind.  I think that if they DO make it canon, we should assume Lotor has the mentality of a teenager (maybe 18) unless explicitly stated otherwise.

However am I the only one who didn’t get romantic vibes from those scenes??

Yeah yeah, you can argue that if a boy and a girl sit next to each other then the writers are gonna force some heterosexual bullshit, which I mean…they do pull that angle a lot with Allura (which kind of enforces to me that Pidge is NOT mean to be a love interest alongside the others, same with Shiro being a male love interest, but I digress….) but outside of that, I didn’t really feel it.  I’m not saying they wont go that angle, because again if a boy and a girl sit next to each other they may pull the het bs angle, but I legitimately dont believe that the interactions would indicate romantic interest/future if the writers were competent.

Now, are the writers competent?  I guess we’ll have to wait and see.  But I think it could go either way at this point.

My thoughts on Lotor as a whole also kind of taint my acceptance of the whole thing.  I can’t be bothered to write a big whole thing on the evidence I have to back this up right now, but it’s my personal opinion that - based on the scene towards the end with the white lion and how he killed narti - that he is allies with the voltron team, but will also betray them without a second thought if it’s convenient for him.  Thus far, nothing he’s done for them has hurt him - he’s an enemy of the majority of the galra, so gaining their trust in exchange for galra information is nothing but beneficial to him.  I think Lotor has a hard time bonding with people - he considers someone allies and even friends until they’re un-useful to him.  If they simply aren’t useful then he wont have any reason to throw them out, but in Narti’s case, Narti was a threat to his mission, so he disposed of her.  So basically, until Voltron actively threaten Lotor, he has no reason to betray them.  So he is their “ally” but not really “redeemed”, if that makes any sense at all?  But that’s just how i interpreted it.

…my only concern is Kuron.  Kuron has vouched for Lotor a lot during this most recent season, but we know by now (or at least, if my hypothesis is correct) that that means little to Lotor.  If Lotor figured out Kuron was watching him like he did with Narti, he won’t hesitate to kill Kuron.  Which, erg, that’d be a big red flag for the rest of the team.  I actually wouldn’t be surprised if something related to Kuron is how he splits apart from the rest of the team, but I can’t really predict how it would happen because I dont know.  I dont even know if I’m right, but god I hope I am because that would be both interesting and not horribly stupid and cliche and out of character for Lotor.

[antifatalism]

time away from tumblr feels great. i wish it didn’t because i miss being more interested in tumblr.

im gonna start hrt. i still don’t believe in gender positivism. but i think it will help with dysphoria. rn i don’t care what people call me, i wish they didn’t call me anything except terms of endearment or funny things. honestly the more variety the better, keep it blurry

when people ask how work is going i say “like any job, it alienates me from the real people that are my employers and employees, making it hard to have a good time with them, which bums me out, and also i’d rather not have to work, so i feel alienated from the work i’m doing too”

i wish i could remember other people’s names better but maybe part of the difficulty is because of how much i don’t get along with my own

i can watch the news every day but i cannot do it while scrolling tumblr or other medias without getting, predictably, overwhelmed with information

24 yrs old i still don’t feel comfortable with comma usage

hmm what else

i went to a doctor re panic issues being esp bad lately due to sinus/lung issues probably caused by allergies. the doctor gave me zyrtec and prilosec. i am on pharmaceuticals for the first time in like five years or more but i figure wth

i agree that vegans as a culture are mostly annoying and complicit with capitalism and stuff. but i hate how anarchists act like radicalism in general isn’t complicit with capitalism (see: how many of us shopped at Hot Topic as kids; edgelord cultures; etc) and erase the radical roots that veganism has (ALF; ELF; hunting sabotage: food not bombs; etc.) like sure, criticize and speculate about why veganism has lent itself so apparently easily to the metastasizing of the bourgeois health food market, how vegan culture at large (as represented/controlled by NGO’s and market players) never developed enough critical concern for human issues. but if when it comes down to it, like Peter Gelderloos, you think veganism is harmful “like a religion” because of a basic difference in ethics between it and yourself, and then you don’t even say what that is, because you want to base your criticism in the shared belief in ecological sustainability and anti-ethnocentrism and liberation from all forced vertical organization /etc., then you just aren’t facing the actual difference between your thought and ours: vegans consider the issue of consent, we don’t believe in harassing. touching, harming, fuck no eating, another animal’s body without apparent consent. Which they cannot give, except outside of captivity, which like, how many people have ever had a free interaction with an animal that exists outside of captivity? so if you think vegans’ commitment is harmful to radical concerns for sustainable anarchistic living, or lends towards racist righteousness, or w/e, consider whether that means you should completely disregard the claim to consent. Whether you should behave like the issue of consent isn’t an issue at all. Don’t mystically claim there’s a transcendental feeling you experience when hunting, a connectedness to an ecosystem. Put your feeling in terms of consent. Did your transcendental feeling qualify as apparent consent from the individual creature you killed or objectified? And if it didn’t, can you just fucking admit that? And explain why you had to “transcend” consent? (Like, you were threatened, or you were starving, or even “i had some kind of obscure carnivorous instinct” would contribute a little explanation.) because sure, people eat animals, they often don’t have options otherwise, humanity on the whole learned they had to brutalize other creatures in order to survive. But there is nothing transcendental about having to consciously overstep another creature’s consent. It’s religious to think there is. animatistic, even. it isn’t religious to expect people who eat meat and engage with animals in captivity to figure out how to admit what they are doing, to agree that consent is worth moral consideration, that it defines what is abuse. and if you just don’t think it’s necessary to consider an animal’s consent, but rather that a non-human animal is just an object for your use, then i’m distrustful about how you look at consent and abuse in general. 

and i’m not trying to make a point about nonviolence or pacifism. i don’t think we should get righteous at people for hurting others. we judge them, for our own wellbeing and in our search for affinity, and then we act accordingly. this is why we value defensive violence, violence defined as reactive or preemptive, per individual. violence towards animals is rarely a person’s act of survival. it is their complicity in a kind of state violence: the state in this case is the monopoly that the idea of “human” holds over individuals’ free and personal engagement with survival, other creatures, and inevitable violences. Because of the hegemonic assumption of this relationship between humans-as-subjects and non-humans-as-others/objects, nobody can explain to each other, really, how they feel about that violence. instead, they either belligerently claim that it is necessary, or that it is evil. 

vegans have to work on understanding why violence isn’t “evil”. nonvegans have to work on talking about authentic ethical considerations made by vegans regarding the human-animal hegemony and its relationship to other systems of hegemonic violence. vegans have to recognize that yes, an expanding vegan market will play its part in capitalism, in its racist mechanisms as well. and sure, as petty radicals like to point out, vegans have to admit that a “boycott lifestyle doesn’t contribute actual change.” but if you find yourself criticizing vegans on the whole, even claiming they add nothing  to radical struggles against systems of oppression and violence, consider how you feel about applying consideration of consent to non-humans. just try it out. continue with all your criticisms, but don’t ignore this essential vegan argument. non-vegans, at large, do not consider the agency of other animals, period. or else they never think about it. or if they do, they delude themselves that it has nothing to do with human-on-human forms of violence and control, in capitalism as well as long before (and potentially beyond) it. i think it’s nuts that people could just honestly believe that 1. [nonhuman] animals deserve no considerations of agency/consent, and 2. this consentless relationship of use has no effect on how humans, already broken into vertical classes of use and abuse for exploitative and cruel cathartic reasons, treat each other.

[oddlymysteriousphoenix]

#74 (#2) 1:59pm July 14

-October 22 2:56pm Eh, today had been a bit better compared to other days. I realize I’ve been lazy and haven’t been writing much on here. I will promise for now on, it has been pretty rough since last Friday since my sadness hit on of it’s lowest points again. Blegh, this year I’ve lost more than what I’ve gained so far. I don’t plan to live long if the trend continues for the rest of this year and the next. I miss all my close Xbox friends, it’s my fault I’m currently avoiding them. I think they’re happier without me and their happiness is all I care about (for the most part). On the bright side, I’ve managed to get some inspiration to continue my skills on guitar, drawing and ‘’singing’’ (I can’t sing). The motivation came from a reference from an old movie which ‘’predicted’’ October 21 2015. (Back to the Future 2, 1985) The actor who played the crazy scientist recorded a video containing these words: ‘’Great Scott! If my calculations are correct, it is now precisely October 21, 2015. The future has finally arrived. Yes, it is different than we all thought. But don’t worry. It just means your future hasn’t been written yet. No one has. Your future is whatever you make it so make it a good one.’’ His last words probably hit me more than others since I love ‘’Back to the Future’’. It’s one of my favorite movies. I recently watched ‘’Bridge of Spies’’ this past weekend. I thought it was a great movie, especially for not making the Russians the ultimate bad people during the Cold War. (Movie set during the height of it). Asides from movies, I’ve managed to gear from my gf’s voice after weeks of not hearing it. It stuck me to my heart to hear how depressed she was.  Thought the call cut out, I was able to treasure the bitter sweet voice I was able to hear. Like always, she’s my everything. I just hope she can beat her illness… -3:31pm -October 27 7:32pm Today’s the day of my 33rd monthly anniversary with my gf! Plus, today is when Halo 5 is finally out after all these years. I might get it tonight or tomorrow I cant wait to play it. Aside from that I’ve been having a rough week. Ive gotten so much of tests and homework, I’m pretty sure I’m off to a bad start. My depression loves to get the best of me. Sometimes I think my life is useless and Ill never be good enough. Suicidal thoughts? Yes, plenty of them as each minute fades to the past. I’m still waiting if life really does get better, things have been pretty flat with some downs. I still feel numb from the constant bombings of my thoughts. I’m still unhappy with my life, not even improving in my hobbies. I play guitar like a child, I sing like a whale and my drawings would be great to be used as toilet paper on how crappy it is. Ugh, at least all of my friends are doing well. Sosa (basically only school friend) has been doing great since he’s been hanging out with this one girl. She sounds pretty friendly from what I’ve heard of her from him. I’m just concerned things might go wrong between them, resulting them to not to speak to each other (Im sure they wouldn’t have sex, she’s a lesbian, at least for now).  I hope the best for him. He’s a great guy for certain. I don’t know how my other friends are doing, I haven’t talked to them due to my ‘’exodus’’. I hope they’re all okay. Lastly, but for best, I THINK my doing fine. Depressed, still? Yeah. Busy? Yeah. Do I still love her? Always and eternity. Happy 33rd anniversary, my love. My everything… 8:00pm P.S. = Te amo

- November 4 7:12pm Well, this week has been alright. Anyway! I got Halo 5 and beat the campaign on the same day. My opinion for the story: It was alright, I mean, some parts were just great, yet I think the story could’ve been so much better. Cortana… Ugh, I’m speechless, I can’t believe what happened to her. She didn’t seem right when she first appeared. She changed. It pains me to know after what Master Chief tried to do to get Cortana back, he couldn’t. Cortana went off her own path on what she thought was right. Master Chief asks ‘’Where’s Cortana?’’ Spartan Locke replies ‘’She’s gone. He stares at Locke with his broken visor. Then, Cortana causes havoc. More scenes passes by, then the credits. The music plays on only to leaves us guessing what’ll happen soon. (Break) -11:16pm. Well, I forgot to continue, woops. Ill write more soon. I have a lot in mind at the moment. - November 11 6:20pm

Ah, this day had been lonesome. Monday and Tuesday has been alright. Yet, Tuesday after school I realized something. I’m worth nothing. Ugh, I’m basically depressed. On Xbox, Stori has been distant. It’s like she doesn’t like my presence anymore. She’s been hanging out with ‘’Skitz’’ and ‘’G’’ (both Xbox names just shortened) so much. I don’t understand why. I understand G is online all the time and so is Stori, but I guess G has convinced Stori to get away from me. G and I haven’t talked in weeks., he’s a horrible person. If only Stori would notice, it bothers me greatly. I know G wants me dead, he told Seeker and Stori that I should commit suicide. Ugh, he disgusts me. I don’t plan to talk to him, but Ill do it if it prevents me from losing Stori. As of now, my best friends are Seeker, Dj, and Sosa, the school friend. Skitz and G can just be gone, they’re rotten apples to me. Useless and unwanted, I despise them immensely. It’s blatant that G hates me, you can feel the vibe of it. Well, sorta, I’m just exaggerating here. My gf says just to give it time. Which I will, since I can’t be against what makes my friend happy. I just miss Stori and Dj and Seeker being around. Nowadays, it’s just me all alone. Sosa is suicidal, but ‘’his’’ girl should help out a lot. Even though she’s a lesbian, things can change. As for my Erin (GF), she’s doing just fine. I still think she’s fine without me. I still love her. All the time she. She’s my universe. Yeah, she’s happy with me, but I feel I’m not good enough. I never have felt it, I’m nothing. Hell, I haven’t done anything that adds worth to me. Everyone else is just better than me no matter how little they try. I’m invisible, I’m no one and nobody. Suicide has been constant in my mind, but I live for others. Ill keep living until (Break, mom’s here, 7:01pm) 10:43pm They’re all gone from my life and gone from their thoughts. As for now, they’re here and I should enjoy their presence while I can. They’re family. MY family, the one I always wanted… 10:46Pm P.S. I had no school today.

-November 13 6:43pm

Each day of each hour has its sweets and sours. Days and nights where they feel the same. Today is bittersweet. I’ve managed to speak to my Love on Skype. She’s perfect as always, I love her greatly. She’s still largely insecure about our love. She feels like one day Ill send her a breakup text, which will never occur no matter what situation. I love her. Before that, she was talking about her being pregnant with triplets, in her dream. Saying how it went and how our family was there, both friend and biological. She spoiled me with kisses as we  chatted, she’s just perfection. I could never ask for more, only for us to be together soon. T took some screenshots to store the memories for the near future. Yet, as of now, I’m lonely. Erin is off doing something and I’m alone on Xbox as well. A couple of minutes ago I’ve been noticed that France is under terrorist attacks. It’s so interesting to know how everything can change so easily in just one hour. I’m afraid what will happen afterwards especially the refugees. I know most Europeans will be swayed towards anti-Islam thinking gen realizing the enemy and hurting the innocent. I’ve observed many tragedies, I hope this doesn’t lead them to chaos. If it does, time will tell. The choices of the people will determine the future of a country. As for now, I guess I’ll have another lonesome Friday. As my friends have fun, as my love carries on, I’ll be here. Hoping for the best in each of us. 7:05pm

-November 17 10:52pm

Ah, Im here doing homework Ill probably sleep at 12. Quick review of this week from last Friday/ Terrorist attack on France, soon later saw ‘’Forrest Gump’’ for the first time. I loved it. Saturday, I managed to get close to Stori on Xbox. It was just her, Seeker and me. She told me how G was still angry at me from a long ago event. She’s been trying to think otherwise. Plus, she reminded me on how Im still important to her. Oh, before that Seeker and Stori got into a small brawl over her different laughter which he wasn’t used to. Though it kinda killed the party mood, it soon recovered. I just feel bad for Seeker since I’m the only one that knows him seriously. As he said, being a jokester causes people not to take him seriously. He’s a great gut, I just wish he was valued more by people. We all stayed up to around 4 A.M. . It  was great, also my GF called on Skype to 3:11-3:13 to 3:14-28 Am. She mumbled mostly through all. Sunday was all work. This week has been okay besides having a lot of work to do. My Gf and I talked again which made me very happy. She’s perfect. Well, I need to focus on my work now. I’m so sleepy… 11:10pm

-November 24 12:55am

Ah, what a pleasant week it has been Friday. Guitar playing, gaming on Xbox One, talking to my Perfect Love and best friends, as well as drawing. I, for once, feel like I’m making progress in my life. Maybe Ill start writing a song since my mom has been awfully occupied with babysitting. Yet, it leaves the place to me. I don’t mean that as a selfish way, more in a way to be able to express what I love to do. As of now, I’m listening to ‘’FoxBoro HotTubs’’ which is basically ‘’Green Day’’ under another name. As nerdy and childish it sounds, I hope to be as great as them or even more. I love their songs as most would already know. I most certainly would cherish in being in a band and becoming a songwriter along with a couple of hobbies on the side. Even though I contain no pride or self esteem, it’s still something I want to go for. If I’m not able to reach that dream, then I’m not sure what’ll become of my. I’m sure I’ll be married to the girl who I love now, Erin. Skyping her for an hour was fantastic, 11:32pm-12:33pm. She makes me feel complete and I fly with joy knowing she’s beside me at all times. She’s perfection. Aside from that, I’ll update my family. Stori has being doing great compared to her bad things. One of her best friends has come over to visit her for the week. As from latest knowledge, they went to a birthday party. Bubba has been doing just fine, nothing negative that I’ve seen. He’s still trying to get his Canadian girl named Cristina, she’s sweet and happy usually. I wish him luck, even after about one or two years chasing after her. I introduced her to Bubba way back on Xbox, first met her sister then Cristina on GTA V on the Xbox 360. Anyway, Sosa has been doing well, I think. I texted him a bit today, still with his ‘’French’’ girl. Rose is okay, I sadly haven’t talked to her much. I plan to talk to her more, I don’t want to lose her. She means too much to me, she’s part of the family. I’m doing a drawing for her to cheer her up. She’s okay, but not well. I want her to know that I’m still beside her in her hardships. We’ll that’s about it. I’m off to play some Halo 5 or Black Ops 3. I desire for days like this are soon to arrive. 1:45Am

-3:26pm