#basically this is any sun but he's suffering

[pubbamoon]

02. BHARANI NAKSHATRA (13°20' ARIES - 26°40' ARIES)

Bharani nakshatra is the second nakshatra in Vedic astrology. It is completely located in the sign of Aries, representing creation and beginnings. Bharani nakshatra is being ruled by the planet Venus, which represents fertility, creativity and giving birth to new idea. The combination of Venus and Mars here makes this nakshatra about letting go of the past and starting something new. If you have Sun, Moon, Ascendant, chart ruler or Atmakaraka in this nakshatra, then we can say you have prominent Bharani nakshatra in your chart.

Bharani means She who bears and the main symbol of this nakshatra is a female organ vulva, representing pains, menstruation, giving the childbirth etc. This nakshatra relates to suffering, depression and struggling. Giving birth to new ideas is associated with Bharani nakshatra because giving the childbirth involves a lot of pain. There is also a sense of creativity and sexual energy here. This nakshatra is the Star of Restraint and the restraint is basically the synonym of limitations, control, moderation, formality etc. People with prominent Bharani nakshatra in their natal chart usually struggle in life, work very hard and they don't do any short cuts. Otherwise, they'll be punished. And here we are at the point of punishment!

The deity of Bharani nakshatra is Yama, the Hindu god of death, punishment and law. He values justice and social morality, judges the departed people/souls and takes them into the underworld. The another symbol of this nakshatra is a boat, representing the transition or transportation between life and death or even between past and future. Bharani nakshatra is related to endings, letting go of something it doesn't serve us anymore and moving into calmer waters, easier life. At the 20° of Aries in this nakshatra, there's a debilitation point of Saturn. Bharani nakshatra is about death, endings, but also about starting a new life, while Saturn relates only to death, darkness and endings. People who have prominent Bharani nakshatra work successfully as psychologists, doctors and lawyers since Yama, the deity of this nakshatra, is a god of law.

The yoni/animal of Bharani nakshatra is a male elephant, representing sexual energy, longevity and ancestral memory. Bharani nakshatra is about the ancestors too. The planet Sun is exalted in Aries and the Sun represents lineage. A lot of kids with this nakshatra in their chart usually follow the steps of their own ancestors, especially of their own father's steps. For example, you have the Sun in Bharani nakshatra, your father is a soccer player and you also become the soccer player in near future. The power of this nakshatra is the Power to renew, associating with starting over a new life.

Padas of Bharani nakshatra:

Pada 1 (13°20' - 16°40' Aries) - Leo

Pada 2 (16°40' - 20°00' Aries) - Virgo

Pada 3 (20°00' - 23°20' Aries) - Libra

Pada 4 (23°20' - 26°40' Aries) - Scorpio

For example, if you have the Moon in the 2nd pada of Bharani nakshatra in your birth chart (D1), you have the Moon in Virgo in your Navamsa (D9) chart. If you have Mars in the 3rd pada of Bharani nakshatra in your birth chart (D1), you have Mars in Libra in your Navamsa (D9) chart etc.

Celebrities with a prominent Bharani nakshatra in their chart:

Carl Jung - Bharani Moon

Cate Blanchett - Bharani Moon

Julia Fox - Bharani Moon

Lana Del Rey - Bharani chart ruler

Martin Luther King Jr. - Bharani Ascendant

Robert Pattinson - Bharani Ascendant

Mariah Carey - Bharani Ascendant

Katherine Hepburn - Bharani Sun

Megan Thee Stallion - Bharani Ascendant

Camila Cabello - Bharani Ascendant

George Clooney - Bharani Sun

David Beckham - Bharani Sun

Adele - Bharani Sun

Christina Aguilera - Bharani Moon

Jim Morrison - Bharani Moon

Best regards, Paky McGee

[sabrondabrainrot]

🩸🔆Woe Period Cramps Upon Ye🔆🩸

My period started and I did the very healthy and normal thing and gave him cramps too. Almost threw up at work 💗 The chair Sun was me at work for real.

Love ya Sun, this is like ibuprofen.

[gladiatorcunt]

Feral feral Anakin fucking you every second of the day because he can’t get enough of you and is overly obsessed

send me coryo, luke castellan, or anakin asks (this is a threat)

implied canon compliant prequels and childhood friend afab royalty reader (basically in padme's place) based on an upcoming fic

This is canon Anakin behavior actually, he's like a big dog with his favorite chew toy. The dog obviously loves the toy a lot but it's because of his love that the toy becomes well used. No matter how tattered it becomes, the dog will still curl around it and spend its days licking the hell out of it until it withers away.

I think that because of how he grew up, just a little boy on some ball of sand whose life really didn't belong to him, as soon as he's free from that he just unravels. I love Anakin being written as more unhinged or even slightly like an eldritch horror, because suddenly he has this big destiny laid out in front of him and the tethers holding his soul together inevitably come unhooked. I think that he's wired like that from the beginning, very passionate but without a means to express it.

So, when he meets you, little royal heir with all the stars of the galaxy in your eyes, he tells a familiar story about an angel and from then on, it's over for him. Every moment of his life orbits around the sun in his solar system, you.

The first think he thinks when he sees you again, is how your moans would echo off the windows when he eats you out on one of the couches. Then he imagines your perfectly manicured hands clawing delicious ribbons down his back while he rabidly pounds your sopping wet pussy against the wall of your huge walk-in closet in your apartment. He'd have to hold a hand over your mouth, but he wouldn't do a thing to clean up the slicks that drips out of your pussy onto the floor. You'd pout as you'd rush to get ready before Obi-Wan came back, and all he'd be able to do in response is hook his chin over your shoulder and smile.

"No, it's because I'm so in love with you."

You're leaning against a balcony overlooking a lake in Naboo and all he can think about as he strokes a shy finger down your back is hiking your dress up and bending you over it. You're chained to a pillar in between him and Obi-Wan, and when all is said and done, he wishes he killed everybody that was relishing in your suffering in that arena and fucked you with their blood coating his body. He could go on forever until the last grain of sand on Tatooine flies away. He'd have gotten you barefoot and pregnant immediately if the leash around his neck was any looser.

No matter the fantasy or the moment, you always have at least one mark on you. He's not patient enough for hickies and his fingers move too quickly for any serious bruises to form on your body. He favors bite marks, near perfect impressions of his teeth etched in your soft skin. He doesn't bite to tear, just does his repeated 'chomp!'s without a single thought in his head; your thighs bear the brunt of it. Anakin likes when drops of blood bead at the surface of the bites, because then he can lick the bites soothingly. You usually have to run your fingers through his hair to get him to come back to himself when he starts doing it on autopilot with his eyes rolled back.

"Yes, yes, yessssss.... love fucking my cunt, missed making love to my sloppy pussy. Taking my dick so well, keep breathing with me, my love. That's it, just like that."

His way of saying good morning is languid strokes deep in your guts. His way of saying good night is crazed thrusts that have him putting it back it when his frenzied pace causes his length to slip out. He has is so hard sometimes, determined to carry the entire galaxy on his shoulders with you on top of it. You can the rising anger that builds within him when everything he does to prove himself goes unrecognized. The best way he has to ignore all of that outside responsibility is knocking your sweaty body up the bed while you're clutching the headboard for dear life.

Anakin's emotions bleed from him so openly, and all you have to do is drink them in. Because even though he wasn't free when he met you, you owned him them with his gift around your neck. You own him now, your cervix kissing his mushroom tip in its own display of affection. He is supposed to live his life with the intention to be the force's son, but he is burning to ash faster than he is fulfilling his destiny; at least he can keep you and your future children warm.

[thefreakandthehair]

apollo, who?

prompt: beach day | pairing: steddie | wc: 1.5k | rating: teen & up | tags: eddie munson pov, athletic steve, post-canon fix it, pining, reciprocated crushes | written for @pearynice for the @strangerthingswritersguild April Fools exchange! 💕☀️🌊

There are three absolute truths when it comes to Steve Harrington: 

The first is that Steve is a gifted athlete. 

The second is that Steve was born to thrive in the summertime. 

And the third, much to Eddie Munson’s chagrin and horror, is that the combination of the first two truths will be his undoing. In public, no less, because the universe has apparently concocted a plan to let Eddie live but to make him suffer nonetheless. 

Unloading the van had been easy enough— Steve grabbing the cooler stacked to the brim with soda, water, and snacks and Eddie watching as he’d trekked through the sand to where Robin and Nancy set up their chairs and beach umbrella. Most of the kids were long gone already, staking their claim with blankets and towels a few feet away from Robin and Nancy, leaving Eddie to snag the sunblock he’s basically been made to swear a blood oath to Wayne that he’ll apply generously over his scars. 

He leans back over the passenger seat to grab it from the center console, along with his walkman and sunglasses, and when he turns back around, he stops dead. 

Steve’s shirtless.

In the span of ten seconds, Steve’s already shirtless on the beach, nothing but swim trunks hanging from his hips, and Eddie realizes he’s underestimated how fucking beautiful this sight might be. 

The edge of Lake Michigan laps at the rippled sands as Steve reels back and tosses a football that Eddie’s pretty sure materialized out of nowhere to Lucas a few yards down the shore. All of his freckles and moles and scars out on full display, the sun beats down on his tanned skin and uncharacteristically messy hair that Eddie’s watched slowly morph from chestnut to ash brown over the course of the season. 

As Eddie applies his stupid sunblock, he lets himself stare unnoticed. Lucas throws what Eddie assumes is a good pass if Steve’s celebratory, “Great spiral!” means anything and when he puts on his sunglasses, it’s more to shield the blinding light of Steve’s smile than the sun. Maybe it’s cliche, maybe it’s overdone and contrived, but Eddie can’t stop himself from comparing Steve to a Greek fucking God. 

Apollo, who? 

El appears next to Steve and Eddie continues to watch— about three layers of sunblock in at this point because he’s lost track— as Steve demonstrates something. Holding the football in one hand, he points at the laces and seems to check in with El for understanding before handing it over to her and adjusting her grip slightly. When she attempts to throw it to Lucas, it falls short and lands in the sand just a few feet away from where she and Steve stand. 

Eddie’s chest fucking swells as Steve trots over to grab it and simply hands it to her again, smile in place to counteract El’s pout. Three or four tries later, the ball flies straight enough for Lucas to catch it and Jesus H. Christ, Steve cheers like she scored a touchdown, or whatever the fuck it’s called. 

He can’t leave the side of the van. If he makes his way down to the beach, it’ll be all over for him. He’ll have to hide in the water the entire time, and now there’s too much sunblock on his face to blame the inevitable flush on sunburn. It’s fine, he can hang back. Everyone looks preoccupied anyways and with any luck, no one will notice he’s not enjoying the surf and sand with everyone else until it’s time to leave— 

“Eddie!” 

Right, he thinks to himself. I have no luck. 

Steve waves at him to come join, turning that sunshine smile directly at him and it’s a direct hit. Apparently, even on the opposite side of the sands, he’s still a goner. 

“Eddie! C’mon, what’re you waiting for?” He calls out again, both hands resting on his hips. 

It does nothing to quell his urge to stare at places friends aren’t supposed to stare at. As far as he knows, the only person to have picked up on his unfortunate crush is Nancy, who’d seemed to understand the importance of discretion and hasn’t said a word. If he can leave this beach day with his secret intact, he’ll chalk it up as a success. 

“I’m comin’, I’m comin’!” 

With a deep breath, he locks and slams the passenger door to the van and walks out onto the hot sand, barefoot with his sneakers in one hand, SPF 70 in the other, and sunglasses hung over his nose. Distantly, he recognizes the grittiness of the sand beneath his toes and the earthy scent of the freshwater stretching out for miles in front of him but more acutely, he just keeps his eyes on Steve. 

Please let these glasses be tinted, he thinks. 

“Finally, what the hell were you doing up there?” Steve asks when he makes it down the narrow path lines with tall grass. 

“Aw, did you miss me, Big Boy?” Eddie drones with a smirk. If he just acts normal, no one will know the difference. It’s not like Steve ever flirts back—

“And if I did?” 

He hasn't planned for that response. All he’s prepared for is a gentle eye roll, maybe a flustered laugh or furrowed brow, and now Steve’s shirtless, sun-baked, sweat dripping from his temple and suggesting he missed him. 

What the fuck. 

“Heads-up!” Lucas yells and Steve turns just in time to take two steps backward and catch the football coming in their direction. 

There’s no way for Lucas to have known he’d just saved Eddie from something horrendously embarrassing, but he’ll find a way to thank him all the same. 

“Ever throw a football?” Steve holds the oblong ball in one hand, wiggling it at shoulder height with a grin. “I taught El how to throw a spiral, so I think I can teach you, too.” 

Okay, actually, he’s still being subjected to something humiliating. 

“Sports have never really been my—”

“Don’t start with that, c’mere. It’s easy.” Steve gestures with a nod of his head for Eddie to join him further out on the beach and like a satellite to its orbit, he follows. 

It takes way more attempts than it did El— something Max was all too quick to point out loudly— but he does eventually throw something that Steve considers a spiral. Maybe it would’ve taken fewer tries if Steve hadn’t insisted on standing directly behind him, adjusting his stance and grip with his chest damn near pressed against Eddie’s back. 

Of all the unfair cards life has dealt him, this has to be the worst. More than once, he makes eye contact with Nancy who raises an eyebrow and smirks before returning her attention to whatever she and Robin are talking about. 

Probably him. Him and Steve and his dumb, dumb, dumb crush that’s ruining his life. It’s fine. 

When he finally throws the ball at an acceptable angle, Steve claps him on the shoulder and stands next to him, effectively draping an arm over both shoulders. 

“See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

He swallows and turns, breath catching his throat. All of the sun has brought Steve’s freckles to the forefront, a shade darker than usual with new tiny pinpricks of color appearing along his nose with a faint pink hue along his cheekbones. 

If they weren’t in public, he’d do something very, very stupid. Instead, he clears his throat subtly and finds words. 

“Sure, yeah, I’m a regular sports guy now, Steve. Guess I’ve gotta find something to teach you, huh? Y’know, return the favor?” 

“I’ve always wanted to learn guitar. You can show me the basics some time. Or uh,” Steve grins and lowers his voice. “I’m sure there are some other things we can learn together.” 

Eddie’s fully lost track of how many times he’s been caught off-guard so far today, but this one takes the cake. Steve’s fucking flirting with him. Actually flirting with him. Beating him over the goddamn head with it, really. 

“Yeah! Yeah, uh, yeah,” he repeats, smooth. “To both, I mean. Yeah, to both.” 

Steve squeezes his shoulder and unravels his arm with a hopeful expression. 

“We’ll talk more when we aren’t surrounded by nosy shits, especially those two,” Steve nods at Robin and Nancy who wave with their fingers. “In the meantime, race you to the water?” 

“What is it with you jocks?”

He barely has time to get the question out before Steve takes off, plunging into the water a solid foot before Eddie even reaches the shore. 

“That’s cheating, Harrington!” He bellows, running through the sand to join him, heart thundering between his ribs and head still spinning from what just happened. 

“Sounds like what I’d expect from someone who just lost,” Steve shoots back, taking a breath and submerging himself before popping back up. 

Hair slicked back with the freshwater of Lake Michigan, Eddie watches as Steve runs both hands through it, then down his face and back into the lake. Water droplets glisten off his skin and Eddie wades a little closer, finding Steve’s hands once they’re submerged enough to disguise it. 

“Oh, contraire,” Eddie muses. “I feel like I just won.”

[alwayscorvus]

A hug for a precious teammate

A hug for a precious teammate

malereader x Jiyan, fluff;

i already have an idea for a longer post ("normal" 4 my acc) but for now just a quick short. Jiyan can be a little out of character

He stood alone in the middle of a field, surrounded by emortia flowers. His green robes blew gently on the wind. With his back turned to you, he looked into a distance. Onto a horizon where an outline of Jinzhou city painted itself.

You approached him at a distance of few steps.

-I knew I would find you here.

Hearing your voice, chills went through Jiyan. But not the unpleasant ones, rather those of excitement.

He turned his head back, looking at you over his shoulder. Warm rays of setting sun gushed on both sides of his face, trying to escape past his figure. As a result, his face shimmered with a bright, yellowish glow of light. Messy strands of his hair (which, as always, managed to break out from not-so-perfect ponytail) flew in all directions. His facial expression represented surprise. You saw him taking a sudden gasp of breath after a spin. Yet, at sight of you, corners of his lips lifted slightly upward.

Even though an image in front of you was breathtaking, you put your focus on his eyes. They showed so many emotions. Sadness, grief, suffering. But also some sort of gratitude and relief.

A desire for touch, for warmth of another person.

You involuntarily spread your arms in an inviting gesture. And Jiyan instantly spun on his heel.

It took just a seconds. Jiyan immediately seized an opportunity. He ran into your embrace.

Before you had time to realize, your body was being squeezed tightly by a man's strong arms.

You looked down. Jiyan was stubbornly snuggling his head into your chest, avoiding eye contact.

-I'm sorry. I should be there with you.

You said with a genuine remorse. Now you deeply regretted not accompanying him today.

You knew that returning to the past by experiencing Riverside Games could be painful for your man. However, you hoped that if you let him go alone, he wouldn't be limited to only your company. And that he might be able to reintegrate with other rangers. On a different level -not only restricted to work and duties. Besides, this wasn't your festival.

That's why you decided to go to work.

However, after that decision, for a few good hours, you suffered with great guilt. You couldn't concentrate on your job. Especially after you found out that the festival got suspended. You were unable to complete any task properly. You were basically useless. To the point where your supervisor - Mortefi ordered you to leave.

Jiyan rapidly shook his head in denial. He didn't loosen his grip even slightly. You were slowly running out of breath. But you knew it was the only thing you could do for him at that moment.

-I planted a seed - he said quietly, slowly choosing his words - With Rover

-But I want to plant one with you as well - he added quickly, this time lifting his face up and looking directly into your eyes.

His golden orbs sparkled slightly with hope. Somehow like with an anticipation of approval.

-I know I know -you changed your voice to as calm and tenderful as possible- We are gonna do this

You placed your hands gently on his back and slowly began to make a circles on them. Trying as much as possible to soothe his nerves after today's events.

Jiyan dropped his head again and tightened his grip more. Even though, a second before you hardly believed that it was possible.

However, that gesture did awaken you. You looked around. And your eyes caught a glimpse of midnight rangers. Standing in the distance, guarding Knell Square. They weren't looking in your direction, not paying attention to you at all. Whether out of respect or ignorance.

But still, if this were to change, you had to do something.

Jiyan wouldn't want anyone to see him in such state. Especially his subordinates, to whom, as a general, he looked like a pure perfection. An example of someone unbreakable and with an unbelievable courage.

You were the first and last one to whom he deliberately showed his vulnerable side.

It wasn't often, because he mostly tried to play tough. Even outside of work, he felt a sense of responsibility. Though in this case, for the two of you. For your prosperity and well-being.

That just how his character was.

Sometimes, however, emotions took over him. Just like now. And Jiyan allowed himself to seek for a support in your presence.

With your right hand, you delicately grabbed his jaw and lifted his head up. His eyes were no longer glowing with ordinary sparkle. Shine came from a liquid that had accumulated inside them. Tears that he struggled hard to not let out.

-But we will get home first, okay?

Jiyan nodded and you leaned down to lovingly kiss his other cheek.

-Let's go - you said, moving away from him slightly and secondly putting one arm around his waist.

Jiyan tiredly laid his head on your shoulder and let you lead the way to your house. To your safe space.

[legomonkiefics]

Hiii, I think it must’ve been like, 5 years since I ever sent an ask to an x reader blog lol. I’m doing it now since this whole year has just been plagued with health issues for me and rn my ribs/lungs/diaphragm/something on the sides are aching like hell T^T so I could rlly use some comfort from the sun and moon monkeys with a reader who suffers from health issues 🥺 not picky about gender or whether it’s s/o or platonic or if it’s a drabble or hcs, whichever feels right/easiest for you to write. Tysmmm 💚

💜🌙 Health Issues — Macaque and Wukong x GN Reader HCs 👑🧡

₊.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁⋆˚｡⋆୨👑🌙୧⋆˚｡⋆✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖

- Wukong has a history of being involved with medicine, so he might try to use more traditional/mystical methods to try and ease any aches and pains

- Macaque would be slightly more out of the loop, but he'd research more modern methods to try and help you out

- They're very accommodating to what you can or can't do, they're very willing to do anything you feel like you can't and are never judgemental if there's any small task that you don't feel up to

- Wukong usually has to train or monitor MK, so Macaque would probably be home most often. He might snark a little here and there, but he's very attentive with your needs. He remembers everything you need and gives you medication exactly on schedule, and he encourages you to eat and drink water regularly to keep your strength up

- When Wukong is home, he's usually right by your side if you're alright with it, making sure you're as comfortable as possible and keeping up his laid-back attitude to try and keep you in high spirits

- They surprisingly argue as little as possible around you, not wanting to make your physical ailments worse by adding mental strain on top of it. They keep their usual spats down to just the occasional off glance, and if they really need to fight, they do it outside of wherever you're staying

- Macaque is attentive to your smaller needs, making sure you have your little creature comforts and keeping things maintained on that level, while Wukong tries to make you your meals and prep activities for you to do to keep you entertained while also making it easygoing to reduce strain

- It's likely that MK visits you at some point cause he hears about your health problems from Monkey King. He might ramble your ear off for like an hour and a half before Wukong pulls them back

- If Macaque can't be near you for whatever reason, he uses shadow clones to stay nearby and take care of you in his stead, while Wukong would produce clones from his hair to do the same. You're basically never alone unless you specifically ask to be, then they pull back the efforts and allow you room to relax

[aglaias-blog]

"Sleep well, my Queen"

Aemond Targaryen x Reader

Author's note: This is pure smut. Porn without a plot. MDNI!!!

I felt inspired by this post, found on @hamatoanne 's blog, made me want to write again. Please be gentle with me, it's been a while 😭 anyway, have fun!

TW: afab!reader, corruption kink if you squint, somnophilia, just porn basically

Summary: Aemond wakes one morning, needing you badly. But you are fast asleep. What is he to do?

“Fuck”, he cursed under his breath, as he turned on his back, hiding his face from the sun under his arm. You were still sleeping next to him on your side, your soft body naked under the covers.

The sun rays playing on his face were the first thing that woke him up. The light that was reflecting on his sapphire eye drew colourful patterns on the wall. The warmth was pleasant, the blinding light – not so much. And then came the crushing realization that it was all a dream.

It was a dream that made him wake up with his cock already leaking precum. The dream being a continuation of what happened last night, when you gave yourself to him completely, allowing him to take control. Your body writhing beneath his, no way to escape. And yet you looked so content, so in your own blissful space, so vulnerable, so pure, so open with him - submitting yourself to him, knowing that you were completely safe…

He groaned at the thought, and he couldn’t help himself as his hand travelled down, over his chest, his abdomen and down to his cock that was laying hard on his belly. His fingers wrapped around it, hard, trying to give himself some form of relief as quickly as possible. He kept yanking at it almost angrily, but it wasn’t enough – it wasn’t enough! Fuck!

 It never was enough when he tried to pleasure himself, he always ended up frustrated! It was as if he betrayed his own body, knowing that he needed you, but still trying to find release by himself.

The exasperation was clearly written on his face. His lower lip began to swell slowly as it was trapped between his teeth and he bit down on it hard, his brow furrowed in desperation and his cheeks flushed. It was clear that this wouldn’t do, it wouldn’t do, he needed more, he needed you, he needed-

He snapped around the moment he heard the moan. The moan that he was sure left your mouth. He wasn’t imagining things now, was he? He turned on his side hastily, laying one hand on your upper arm gently. Were- were you awake?

“My love?”, he tried, now slowly tracing your spine with his fingers.

No response. Just another one of those damned soft moans that he usually loved, but now he was sure they were going to drive him mad. If only you knew how badly he wanted you right now.

“Don’t do this to me…”, almost sounding pained, he threw himself back on his back, rubbing his hands over his face.

He was suffering at your hands, and you didn’t even know it! The situation was ridiculous, if he wasn’t so frustrated, he would laugh at it. Running his hand through his loose hair roughly, he tugged at the strands, his other hand buried in the sheets with his knuckles turning white.

Your soft breathing continued, but the quiet moans that kept coming from you made him wonder if you were having the same dream that he had not long ago. He remembered slowly that you two had talked about situations like this - but until now the opportunity had never presented itself, he always had to be somewhere, he always was required by somebody early in the morning, but now…If he had any doubt about taking action, the soft whine that left your body made sure to make any resolve falter. He couldn’t fight the storm that was raging inside him any longer.

“Gods”, he murmured. Turning back on his side, he brought his hand up to your shoulders and traced them gently, before moving down to let his hand slide down your sides, and over your hip. Goosebumps rose on your skin, but there was no change in your breathing pattern, no sign that you were going to wake up. And no sign that you knew what was happening. His heart was beating brutally in his chest - never had he thought that he would find this so arousing. But when his fingers finally found their way to your cunt, every thought was wiped from his mind. He bit back a moan when he realized how wet you were, your wetness already smeared between your upper thighs. It was clear now what kind of dream you were having.

His mouth found its way to your shoulder, pressing open-mouthed kisses there. He easily slid a finger inside, then two, groaning into your shoulder at the obscene wet sound. Pumping them in and out of you slowly, he quickly knew that you were more than prepared.

If he wasn’t so frustrated, he would be embarrassed about how desperately he wanted to be inside you. But his precum had already formed a wet spot on the bed linen and his mind was foggy with the need for you, for anything you could give him. Any thoughts about his dignity and virtues like patience were left for later. And so, not wasting anymore time, he lined himself up with you quickly, grabbing your hip gently. He couldn’t help the guttural moan that tore from his throat as he finally, finally, was sheathed deep inside you. Your wet, hot core enveloping him completely. He stayed still for a while, doing other wise would have surely made him cum embarrassingly quickly.

He fought the urge to rut into you savagely, trying to keep some form of dignity, trying to hold back, trying to prove to himself that he wasn’t doing any of this selfishly – but there was no denying it. You made him lose control. And the worst part was that you didn’t even know it. You weren’t even aware of the kind of effect you had on him.

Slowly, his hand found its place on your breast, tracing slow circles around your nipple, feeling it harden. He squeezed it hard, the flesh spilling over between his fingers. Then, his fingers slowly ran between your breasts, down over your soft stomach, further down, down, until he finally reached your clit.

He tried to be gentle when he pulled out slowly and pushed himself to the hilt inside of you again. But there was no use, the moment he felt your heat and wetness again, he couldn’t hold himself back. It was addicting.

So he slammed himself into you, over and over again, whimpering into you shoulder, praising you, although he knew that you weren’t even awake.

The moment he touched it, he felt you clench around him. Hard. And he couldn’t hold back his pathetic moan at the sensation. He wanted to feel it again and again, so, encouraged, he rubbed lazy circles around it, circles that quickly became more urgent, the more he felt you squeeze around him.

..................................................................

You awoke with your body spasming, not knowing what was happening. The hot, white pleasure you felt was almost akin to the one you felt in your dream – but this one felt so much more real. A desperate moan tore from your throat before you could realize why it even formed, and you felt him inside. Instinctively you knew it was him. Only he could reach that spot deep inside you, only he could make you shiver and tremble like this. You felt his warmth, his tall body behind you, moving in and out of you ruthlessly, his moans falling freely from his lips, his hot breath on your shoulder…

And then your orgasm crashed over you like a wave, unforeseen. It completely overwhelmed you, your body trembling so hard you thought he would slip out of you, your body searching for the sensation he gave you, but at the same time trying to escape it, it was too much, too much…

“Aemond!”, you gasped out, your hand blindly reaching for him behind you.

He heard your unsaid plea and held you close, grabbing your hips in a bruising grip and stilling his movements, so that he could feel you completely, holding you in place. His angel, his only salvation, spasming on his cock; the only innocent being in his life was having no part in his doing and he almost felt guilty, like you were losing more of your innocence the more time you spent with him.

“Oh, Gods”, you heard him groan through gritted teeth, only now did you realize what was truly happening. The fogginess of sleep had left you now, the confusion you had in the beginning making place for giddiness. You had fantasized about mornings like this, but now that it was happening, you couldn’t believe it. The thrill you felt went through your body like an electric shock.

He knew now that you were awake, if your reaction and the way you held his hand in a tight grip was any indication. Your moans became louder the moment he picked up his merciless pace again, touching that sensitive spot inside you over and over and over again.

“My love – fuck, you’re going – you’re going to make me cum- please”, you heard him moan behind you, as if you were the one in control. He was the one who had his arm wrapped tightly around your torso, while his other hand now had your throat in a tight grip – and yet it felt like he gave himself over to you.

Your moans turned into desperate sobs, the moment he lost control. You were so close to the edge again, your senses heightened to the max. You felt him trembling behind you, drawing one shuddering breath after the other, trying to restrain himself, trying to keep some form of control, but his thrusts grew rougher and rougher and when he felt you clench around him, he couldn’t help himself. He came inside you with a growl, his hips thrust up into you involuntarily, spilling everything inside you, while sinking his teeth into your shoulder, trying to stifle his helpless moans. He felt you clenching down on him hard, your own whimpers and moans spilling from your mouth. His jaw went slack, engrossed in the sensation, he pressed you down on his cock to feel every squeeze of your peak, not allowing you to escape his bruising thrusts.

“Gods, you feel so good, you’re being so good for me”, praises fell from his lips, as he kept you close to his body, littering little kisses on your shoulder. “So, so good for me, princess.”

His frantic breathing slowly calmed down; he was still reveling in the aftershocks of your second orgasm.

“Holy Seven”, he groaned behind you, coming down from his high. His grip on your relaxed slowly, and he began to gently stroke your side with one hand, the other caressing your chest. You relaxed in his embrace, the weight of sleep on your eyelids.

“You did so well, my love”, he murmured, “I’m so proud of you.”

You only hummed in return, your sleepiness catching up to you. But when he tried to pull out of you, your hips chased his to not let him slip out. You heard him chuckle lightly. “Alright, alright…”, he said, and if you only turned around, you’d have seen a cocky grin on his face.

He pulled you close by your hips again, his hand caressing them lazily.

“Sleep well, my Queen”, he whispered in your ear, before drifting off to sleep himself.

[katz-rambles]

I've been sick lately so I got too thinking.. how would the current ghouls and ghoulettes treat their S/O who's sick.

(headcannons, gn!reader, fluff/comfort(?), mentions of puking, mentions of being naked but no sex, I think this is it!)

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰

• He's going to make fun of you. A ghouls immune system is so much stronger than a humans. So he won't really understand what to do, but he gets an A for effort.

Dewdrop/Sodo

• You may have to straight up tell him what to do. He probably won't listen if you aren't right out with it.

• Though, when he does understand what he has to do, he is right by your side the whole time. He won't let you out of his sight. What if you suddenly feel worse and he's not there to sooth you?

• He gets a little (lot) protective over you. You're in a vulnerable state. Someone could hurt you. :(

• If you have the chills or are just cold, he will use his element to help you warm up. Just cuddle with him for a bit, and you'll start to feel better in no time.

• If you're worried about him getting sick, there's a high chance he'll laugh at you. He's a ghoul, baby. He won't get sick that easy. You don't have to worry about him.

˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊

• He's the type of guy to make you chicken noodles soup when you're sick. Such a sweetheart.

Rain

• He will help you with anything and everything. You have chores to do, he's on it. You need something from the store, sweetheart, he's already there. You just need your meds, he's got them and a glass of water plus some food for you to have with it.

• He's so helpful and so so sweet. He's got everything you may need. A damp cloth if you have a fever, a blanket if you have chills (and himself, of course), a bucket just in case, any type of meds you may need. He loves you and wants you to get better as soon as possible.

• Please cuddle with him so he knows you're not going anywhere. He fears that, because you're a human, you may get worse, and he's practically terrified at the thought of losing you.

• He may read to you if you ask nicely, especially if you like classic literature, then he may be persuaded. (I fucking love classic literature so now everyone had to suffer because of it.)

• He will also take you to the lake during the day when it's warm. You can relax in the water and get some sun, it's a win-win.

• All together, Rain is a sweetheart and will do anything and everything in his power to make sure you have a speedy and smooth recovery.

˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊

• Sweetheart 2.0

Phantom

• He makes sure you're doing okay, and his way of doing this is not leaving your side. He basically makes sure you don't leave until you're all better again, even if you do just have a common cold.

• Will put on a movie/show and cuddle with you to try and help you feel better.

• He may even play his guitar when he's with you. Just rest and let him play (show off).

• If you end up puking he's the type of guy to pull you hair back (if it's long enough) and rub your back while telling you it's all going to be okay and you'll start to feel better soon.

• He almost likes knowing that you can get sick. It reminds him that you're a human and that no matter what, you always will be. He loves that about you, even if you're sick. He rarely ever gets sick, so it comforts him knowing that you do.

˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊

• Will 100% take you for a walk in the garden while he picks herbs to make a tea that will boost your immunity and help you recover faster.

Mountain

• He will also cook for you. He's amazing at it, and maybe one day he'll teach you his secrets.

• Will also take you to sit out in the sun with him, you need your vitamins after all, and what better way to get them than to cuddle in the sun with him?

• Another guy who helps you out if you have to puke, he will even help you clean up after. Don't worry if it's gross. It's natural for humans to get sick like this. He understands and wants to help you with it. He can also, if you're okay with it, of course, because consent is key, bathe you. He doesn't want anything sexual to come from it, just you two spending some time together.

• He encourages you to nap/sleep more. You need your rest! He also just likes to nap with you, but that's not the point.

• And don't worry about your chores or anything. He's already spoken to Copia about your condition, so you have as much time as you'll need to recover.

˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊

• He's also going to make fun of you. But, considering it's Swiss, we should already know this.

Swiss

• He's going to make sure to check in on you. He won't be there by your side all the time, but he's there most of it.

• He makes sure to bring fun little games, bored games, cards, and anything else you may want to help you feel better.

• He gets Mountain to help him make a tea or something since he has no idea what to do. He can cook, kinda, but it's the idea that counts. He's trying his hardest for you.

• If you catch him searching up your symptoms on Google and then cuddling you and not leaving your side... no, you didn't.

• All together, he will be amazing towards you. Although there may be occasional teasing, he cares so much about you, you have him whipped for you.

˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊

• She's one of the best people to be sick with (second to rain, but I'm very biased towards him), she will make sure everything is okay for you.

Cirrius

• No hesitation on pulling your hair back and rubbing your back, holding you close to her. She doesn't give two fucks about if it's gross or not, as long as you're okay, nothing else matters. She will also bathe you. She likes pampering you, whether you're sick or not.

• Big on getting sun while you're sick, she will also give you those vitamins gummies to help your immune system. If you're up for it, you two will sun bathe. Just you two and the sun, a relaxing afternoon to help take your mind off your current state.

• She will help you with your chores, but she also believes in exercise while you're sick to help your body, even if it's just doing your chores.

• Lots of sleeping with her, she's so comfortable. She also loves to just hold you close to her so she knows you're doing okay, so if you're sick and she suddenly pulls you away for a cuddle session, don't be surprised.

• Will do night in with you when you're sick, except they're modified. So you two will have soup and movies while doing facemasks and makeovers with you. She's so sweet, she loves you.

˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊

• She will probably know you're sick before you know you're sick. She can just sense it.

Cumulus

• But when you do actually get sick and know it, she's got you. Damp cloth, bucket, soup, blanket, ice packs, she has it all.

• She's an amazing cook, like better than Mountain, and she knows how to make practically anything.

• If you want to get out and get some fresh air, she's all for it. You two could be out getting groceries or just out in the forest relaxing in the cool grass. She loves being outside, and if you feel good enough, you bet most of your time will be spent outdoors.

• I feel like she's a big cat lover, so you two will be down at a cat cafe or just hanging out with strays around the church. You both get to be outside, and you get to see a bunch of cute cats, win-win!

• Please watch movies with her, she knows you need some rest and relaxing time, and what better way to relax than to watch some movies with her?

˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊

• She's very helpful, like Swiss she won't always be by your side, but she's there enough that you know she cares about you and wants to make sure you're doing okay.

Aurora

• She will 100% bring you outside to relax, right in the grass. The sun on you both and the cool grass underneath. It's perfect, and she can't think of a better way to help you get better than relaxing.

• If you want to do something, she's down for it, but she won't let you be out too long when you're sick. She doesn't want you to get worse just when you're starting to feel better.

• But don't you worry, she has plenty of ways that she can help you feel better. Most of these consist of sleeping and relaxing. But that's okay, you need it.

• She will do arts and crafts with you. It may sound childish, but you're sick and don't really want to do anything, so what better way to do something that's not too hard than arts and crafts. Glitter jars, painting, bracelet making, making a time capsule. She's down for it.

• Please let her pamper you. She needs to do it, it'll help you feel better because you won't have to do anything. She has everything taken care of, your chores, your nausea, fever, chills, and everything is taken care of.

˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊

[quitealotofsodapop]

Sun Wukong is such a cool character across the board since if you genderbent the character - very little would change other than the reactions of those around them.

LMK: Same character. Only difference is brief confusion from MK and Tang, who adjust their pronouns when speaking of Dawn accordingly. Relationship with Macaque unchanged.

Hero is Back: Short red hair, chewing on hay, tall af? Thats half the butch farmers in my county. Liuer has a brief moment of "The Great Sage is a woman?" before going straight back to fanboying about how cool Dasheng is. Zhu Bajie is likely shocked and appalled that he was defeated by a woman - tho still shoots his shot. Attract does not work on Dasheng. Story accidentally becomes a tale of a mother sacrificing her life to protect her son, and ends with the son sacrificing himself to protect his new mother.

Reborn: Still a chaotic hissing gremlin of a monkey. Brief moment of funny where the very feminine Taoist acolytes misgender Smokey as male since she still looks the same. Zhu Bajie hesistates to hit on Smokey (despite her very convincingly diguising herself as his wife during his recruitment), since she terrifies him. Smokey still arises from their false death cloaked in blue flame and lava. And still mourns the loss of Fruitie.

NewGods: Bigger plot twist of Ace's identity. No one has figured out her identity for so long (including Ao Guang) cus they all assumed SWK was a guy. Still a giggling, gambling lush. Yunxiang: "Hey whos this drunken, half-dressed old lady offerring to train me in exchange for a motorbike- oh sweet Buddha she's the Monkey King."

1999/2000 Cartoon: Sugar is already femme af. No change.

Netflix: Little character change, though Cherry's story would indirectly become a glass ceiling situation with the Immortals. Men can become immortal by killing lots of evil demons (source: Erlang & Hou Yi), but women gotta suffer (source: Guanyin). Bonus girl bonding with Lin.

Smash Legends: Starfruit leans into gender stereotypes for the views. Goes full tiktok e-girl with her asethetic. Would form punk girl band with Goldie.

And lets not forget how many live-action Sun Wukongs are played by women actors and/or stuntwomen.

Gender bending their Macaques also do not change much. Basically these monkeys could be any gender indentity and still be themselves

[youremyheaven]

The Curse of Limitless Expansion: Jupiter's Shadow

I have covered the "negative" manifestations or the shadow side (as I prefer to call it) of different planetary influences, such as Venus, Moon, Rahu & Ketu and whilst I have explored Jupiter's different manifestations before, I thought it is time to do a more in-depth analysis of Jupiter's shadow.

Being the largest planet in our solar system, Jupiter is expansive and its natives are internally spacious and vast. I had observed previously that Jupiter is similar to Rahu in terms of its spaciousness (Claire had also observed the similarities between Punarvasu & Swati) but the difference is that Rahu is truly limitless in its expansive ability as it quite literally does not have physical form (Rahu refers to the north node of the Moon) Jupiter may be vast but it does have limits, it's bound by its massive capacity but since it does have a physical form, that means it also has limitations, it has a tipping point. This is why Jupiterean natives suffer or have the ability to realize they have "gone too far". Rahuvians have a "point of no return" mentality, they think they've gone too far but have to keep going since it no longer makes sense to return now.

Some people believe that since Jupiter is the planet of luck, abundance, growth and healing (or generally perceived as a "positive" planet) it somehow does not have a "dark side". This is untrue. Jupiter's darkness is just as terrifying as that of any other planet. The bigger the planet, the bigger the shadow.

Jupiter's shadow manifests as a god complex, messiah complex and megalomania, most commonly seen in men.

Men and women channel their nakshatras and planetary influence differently. Men tend to externalise their problems and women tend to internalise theirs. Men tend to inflict destruction upon others and women tend to self-destruct (@lasirenesensible tysm for pointing this out to me, it's a very valuable insight).

The scope of this post includes a few women but I'll discuss how Jupiter's shadow manifests in women on a separate post in the future.

It shouldn't come as a surprise that a planet known as the "Guru" or teacher is prone to making a lot of people under its influence proclaim themselves as Messiahs or divine teachers, many famous pseudo-spiritual "gurus" have Jupiter ruled naks in their big 3. They are merely charlatans with a Messiah complex driven by their ego to expand beyond reach. This is a toxic trait of Jupiter natives.

Ryuho Okawa- Punarvasu Sun, Purvabhadrapada Mars atmakaraka

He was a Japanese religious and political leader who was the CEO and founder of the Happy Science and the Happiness Realization Party. His organization has been widely criticised as a cult. Adherents of the religion worship Okawa, who claimed to be the current incarnation of a god called “El Cantare" and a number of other beings, including Hermes and Gautama Buddha.

L Ron Hubbard, Purvabhadrapada Sun conjunct Mercury and Jupiter conjunct Ketu in Vishaka (he also had Magha Moon)

He is the founder of Scientology lmao and basically co-opted a lot of eastern oriental thought mixed it with his malignant narcissism and created a religion based on spiritual hogwash. One of its most famous recruits is Tom Cruise, Punarvasu Moon

Jim Jones- Punarvasu Sun & Mercury (he was also Shatabhisha Moon)

He is known for being the (cult) leader of the Peoples Temple religious group and for the Jonestown Massacre, when he led the mass murder-suicide of more than 900 members of the group at their commune in Jonestown, Guyana, on November 18, 1978.

fun fact: Suga from BTS (Purvabhadrapada Sun conjunct Mercury) sampled a bit from a sermon given by Jim Jones for the track "what do you think" from his mixtape D-2, he removed it following the controversy

"… though you are dead, yet you shall live, and he that liveth and believeth shall never die."— Jim Jones

I feel like it is way too specific and niche for him to not have intended to put it there or have known who Jim Jones was lol but I digress

But on that note, this whole self-belief thing (as we see from Jim Jones' quote) also seems to be tied to Jupiter's nature. These natives have insane self belief.

Will Smith, Vishaka Moon is kind of an early proponent of manifestation. He's been talking about it since the early 90s.

Jim Carrey, Vishaka Rising is another celebrity who has been talking about manifestation since the 90s.

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Punarvasu Rising (and stellium)

He has talked about the power of the mind and visualisation A LOT. The key to achieving anything in life is to believe you can do it but many experiences (including trauma, self doubt etc) makes it hard for many people to persist in their belief, they hold themselves back. Jupiter's strength lies in its ability to be so vast and bold in its belief, their spaciousness means no matter what they've been through, they just know there's a way through, that they will make it out. This is their inherent nature.

Nikola Tesla, Punarvasu Sun developed the 3 6 9 method of manifestation (as @brundlefly3333 pointed out)

Kanye West, Purvabhadrapada Moon is another celebrity who has spoken about the Law, the power of self-belief etc etc a LOT.

It goes to show how easy it is for self-belief to turn into delusions of grandeur and make someone a narcissist. It is truly dangerous because Jupiter's influence on the masses is immense so whatever a Jupiter native may proclaim, they have the ability to affect many people through it. Some of the men I mentioned above convinced others that they were God and even made them kill themselves for it. This is a scary, dangerous manifestation of Jupiter's "guru" nature wielding vast influence on others and being absolutely convinced of one's righteousness

anywayssss

Mussolini- Vishaka Rising, Jupiter in Punarvasu amatyakaraka (he was also a Rohini Moon and Pushya Sun👀)

Benito Mussolini is like the OG dictator. He created fascism, a movement that would plunge most of Europe into darkness. From undermining judges to indoctrinating children, he pioneered key tactics that other dictators would use to seize power.

I specify Nodal influence in these individuals because I think the limitlessness and expansiveness of Nodal influence wrecks havoc to the already expansive nature of Jupiter and makes these natives more reckless.

I also specify Moon influence because as I already discussed in my posts, Moon influence can easily morph into cruelty and corruption and I think Moon & Jupiter together can be a dangerous combo if the native is imbalanced.

If you take anything away from these posts it would be that literally anybody with any placement/nak/planet is capable of being truly evil. There is no specific nak/planet that is a "guarantee" against evil. It truly comes down to the individual to choose how they want to live (I believe in free will and I do not condone in using astrology in a fatalistic way at all).

Ferdinand Marcos- Punarvasu Moon (he also has Ardra ascendant conjunct Ketu and a lot of Moon influence)

Ferdinand Marcos developed a cult of personality as a way of remaining President of the Philippines for 20 years, in a way that political scientists have compared to other authoritarian and totalitarian leaders such as Joseph Stalin and Adolf Hitler, but also to more contemporary dictators such as Suharto in Indonesia, Saddam Hussein in Iraq, and the Kim dynasty of North Korea.

The propaganda techniques used, either by himself or by others, to mythologize Ferdinand Marcos, began with local political machinations in Ilocos Norte while Ferdinand was still the young son of politician and Japanese collaborator Mariano Marcos, and persist today in the efforts to revise the way Marcos is portrayed in Philippine history. According to members of his administration, such as Adrian Cristobal, Marcos's intent was to project an image of himself "the only patron, the king" of Philippine society, which he still saw as a society of tribes." Cristobal furthers that "Marcos and the First Lady wanted more than anything else [...] to be king and queen. They wished to shape the kingdom in their own image; [...] Marcos wanted to be able to say, 'L'État, c'est moi.'" ("the state, that is me") In some extreme cases where Marcos encouraged the formation of cults so that they could serve as a political weapon, Marcos came to be thought of as a God.

Sun Myung Moon- Mercury conjunct Rising in Purvabhadrapada (he also has Shatabhisha Sun)

He was the founder and leader of the Unification Church established in Seoul, South Korea, who considered himself the Second Coming of Christ, but not Jesus himself. It is generally believed by Unification Church members ("Moonies") that he was the Messiah and the Second Coming of Christ and was anointed to fulfil Jesus' unfinished mission.

The thing about all these men claiming to be God/Messiahs is that there were people who believed them and followed them blindly and uncritically. Anybody can claim these things but not everybody can acquire power and influence and lead people this way. This is another aspect of Jupiter (not to repeat myself again and again but yeah it's the whole "Guru" thing, people look at you as a figure of knowledge and wisdom, and these people project natural leadership qualities).

You can't just be crazy or narcissistic enough to believe these things, you also have to be strategic enough to amass a following. To be a leader and a guru requires a certain commitment and discipline. These are all Jupiterean qualities (that are used for malicious purposes here).

Augusto Pinochet- Punarvasu Moon conjunct Saturn, Mercury in Vishaka atmakaraka, Jupiter in Purva bhadrapada amatyakaraka

He was a dictator who ruled Chile and claimed he was a visionary who was "guided by the mysterious hand of God". He had a cult of personality surrounding him

After his rise to power, Pinochet persecuted leftists, socialists, and political critics, resulting in the executions of 1,200 to 3,200 people, the internment of as many as 80,000 people, and the torture of tens of thousands. According to the Chilean government, the number of executions and forced disappearances was at least 3,095. Operation Condor, a U.S.-supported terror operation focusing on South America, was founded at the behest of the Pinochet regime in late November 1975, his 60th birthday.

Jupiter's expansive nature manifests as greed when an individual is imbalanced or spiritually stunted. This drives a need to acquire massive wealth or spread their influence/reign/territories. If the individual is spiritually evolved, their focus will be to balance the spaciousness within and not project it outward in continuous expansion.

Hafez el Assad- Mars in Punarvasu atmakaraka, Jupiter in Punarvasu amatyakaraka and Venus in Vishaka (he also had Hasta Sun)

Syria's Hafez al-Assad, a Ba'athist officer who seized power through a coup d'état in 1970, established a pervasive cult of personality to maintain his dictatorship. As soon as he took over power, Ba'ath party loyalists designated him as "Al-Abad"; an Arabic terminology with deep religious dimensions. Linguistically, ''Al-Abad'' means "forever, infinite and immortality" and religious clerics use this term in relation to Divine Attributes. By designating Assad as "Al-Abad", Syrian Ba'ath Movement ideologically elevated Hafez al-Assad as its "Immortal", "god-like figure" who is supposed to represent the state as well as the Syrian nation itself. Another meaning of Al-Abad is "permanent", which is used in state propaganda to denote the perpetual status quo of an "eternal political order" created by Hafez al-Assad, who continues to live in Assadist ideology. The term's verbal form "Abada" means "to commit genocide" including the "symbolical; performative side of violence". This dimension has been weaponized by the Assad regime to monopolize violence against alleged dissidents and justify state terrorism, including genocidal acts of mass murder like the Hama Massacre, Qamishli Massacre and other massacres of the Syrian civil war.

Jayalalithaa- Punarvasu Rising (Shatabhisha Sun & Magha Moon)

She was the Chief Minister of the state of Tamil Nadu in India and was an actor turned politician who had a cult following (they called her "Amma" or "mother" which I think is interesting that she was this mother figure/matriarch because of Punarvasu's deity Aditi being the Cosmic mother). She was a corrupt politician but the masses largely overlooked this and she was known for being a bit of a tyrannical figure who expected absolute loyalty from her party members who often publicly prostrated before her (not kidding).

Not as brutal as some of the other people on this list but her personality cult and influence over her following is crazyyy (I'm Indian so I'd know) and when she died in 2016, her state observed a 7 day mourning period.

Mata Amritanandamayi Devi- Vishaka Rising (she also has Hasta Sun👀)

She's an Indian spiritual guru known as the "hugging saint", she's still alive and has millions of followers and there hasn't yet been a proper expose but her cult has been controversial for ages especially after it started recruiting spiritually confused white people into its mix. A lot of it is unexplained, she's most definitely a millionaire at this point and we have no idea what actually goes on behind closed doors. Many of the alleged miracles that she has performed have been debunked on many occasions. To think that she has football stadiums full of people who worship her and think she's the divine incarnate is sooo crazy

Ram Dass- Punarvasu Rising

He helped popularize yoga and Eastern spirituality in the West. I don't think he's cruel or shady, just a regular white guy who had a spiritual awakening in India and co-opted thousands of years of Vedic wisdom and teachings to "introduce" it to the West. But his influence is unmatched to say the least, he spearheaded a whole movement and made eastern spirituality mainstream in the west. This is a manifestation of Jupiter's boundless nature.

Oppenheimer- Punarvasu Moon

the man who developed the first ever nuclear weapons was a Punarvasu lol

he truly believed that he was doing the "right thing" because (you already know all this if you watched the movie) Germany was bound to develop these weapons and cause mass destruction and Oppenheimer thought he was on the right side of history by making these weapons for America and by extension for the Allies

"After Germany's surrender in 1945, some scientists questioned the bomb's relevance. Oppenheimer believed it would end the ongoing Pacific War and save Allied lives. The Trinity test is successful, and President Harry S. Truman orders the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, resulting in Japan's surrender. Though publicly praised, Oppenheimer is guilt-ridden and haunted by the destruction and mass fatalities. After Oppenheimer expresses his guilt to Truman, the president berates him and dismisses his plea to cease further atomic development." (this is an excerpt from the movie's wiki lol)

it just goes to show how self-belief isn't a good thing on its own because you can make yourself believe anything. I guess Oppenheimer's guilt has to count for something ??? Idk how many people mentioned on this list felt guilt because of the destruction they caused, Oppenheimer had a conscience et.al

Elon Musk, Punarvasu Rising

He is the richest man in the world and is on a quest to own everything he can and colonize Mars, need I say more? Idk if this is a strange manifestation of Punarvasu's deity Aditi being the Cosmic Mother (either that or the man has a breeding kink) but this guy procreates at the speed of light (he has 6 kids right now with 3 different women I believe)

Tommy Mottola- Punarvasu Sun (Swati Moon)

the asshole who trapped Mariah Carey (Punarvasu Moon) in a hellish controlling marriage for 8 years. He was the CEO of Sony Music in the 90s and was known for being a megalomaniac (look up his feud with Michael Jackson) he has ruined the careers of many and is known in the music industry for being a really scary controlling maniac

Anders Behring Breivik- Punarvasu Rising

He blew up a bomb in the centre of Oslo. Meanwhile went to an island where a political youth gathering was taking place. Dressed up as a cop he would kill 69 people on the island of Utøya, and call out to teenagers hiding saying it was safe to come out, those who believed him and came out were shot.

Alfred Hitchcock- Vishaka Moon (also Shatabhisha Rising with a lot of Moon influence in his chart)

He basically stalked some actresses and tried to control their lives; told them what they could/couldn’t eat, and where they could/couldn’t go. He sent Tippi Hedren inappropriate Valentine's letters. She claims he threw himself atop her in a hotel room and kissed her — and in her biography accused him of sexual assault. Yet another Jupiterean megalomaniac.

Al Capone- Purvabhadrapada Rising

 He joined the Five Points Gang as a teenager and became a bouncer in organized crime premises such as brothels. In his early twenties, Capone moved to Chicago and became a bodyguard and trusted factotum for Johnny Torrio, head of a criminal syndicate that illegally supplied alcohol—the forerunner of the Outfit—and was politically protected through the Unione Siciliana. A conflict with the North Side Gang was instrumental in Capone's rise and fall. Torrio went into retirement after North Side gunmen almost killed him, handing control to Capone. Capone expanded the bootlegging business through increasingly violent means, but his mutually profitable relationships with Mayor William Hale Thompson and the Chicago Police Department meant he seemed safe from law enforcement.

Capone apparently revelled in attention, such as the cheers from spectators when he appeared at baseball games. He made donations to various charities and was viewed by many as a "modern-day Robin Hood". However, the Saint Valentine's Day Massacre, in which seven gang rivals were murdered in broad daylight, damaged the public image of Chicago and Capone, leading influential citizens to demand government action and newspapers to dub Capone "Public Enemy No. 1".

Robert DeNiro played Al Capone in The Untouchables (1987)

Idk whats the link between PBP and the mafia but Scorsese (PBP Moon) has made manyyy mafia themed movies and Robert DeNiro (PBP Moon) has starred as a mob boss on multiple occasions.

Having Jupiter influence really is like having unwielded power and if a native isn't mature enough to channel it appropriately then they can easily lose themselves to malignant narcissism, god complex and megalomania.

It requires a great deal of wisdom to wield this ability wisely and for the greater good

Jupiter influence is very prominent in the charts of royalty, another group prone to megalomania and god complexes lol. Jupiter bestows its natives with power, status and affluence but one must wield it carefully.

Punarvasu is widely accepted as the most auspicious of Jupiter-ruled naks (due to its themes and its deity) whereas Vishaka and Purvabhadrapada are both harsher manifestations of Jupiterean energy but even the most "gentle" of Jupiterean naks still came up in the charts of some of the horrible people I mention in this post. Basically, no one is exempt from being cruel, obviously, everything depends on the chart as a whole (a person is more than the sum of their parts) but that said the presence of a nakshatra considered "auspicious" (Jupiter ruled or otherwise) does not automatically qualify as some kind of redeeming quality lol. Everybody has to consciously choose their actions and be good and do good aka anybody can be cruel and evil and yes even Jupiter has its dark side/shadow.

hope this post was interesting xx

[specialagentlokitty]

Aizawa x reader - seeing you

A/N: thanks to @nyxiethesimp for the help and fuelling my Aizawa obsession 😌💜

Sitting in the windowsill, you ran your fingers along the braille of the book you were reading, a little smile on your face.

The apartment was quiet, and you were enjoying some much needed relaxation in the warm glow of the evening sun through the window.

That’s how Aizawa found you, most evenings you would be sat up there reading and he never really understood why you enjoyed sitting there so much, but he made it a comfortable spot if you with cushions and blankets, and the couch was just below.

Walking over, he sat down the the couch and you turned your eyes towards him, reaching out with your hand you gently placed it on his head, running your fingers through your hair.

“How was it?” You asked.

“Exhausting.” He sighed.

“You’re not staying in the dorms tonight?”

You felt him shake his head, and he tilted it back so he was able to look at you.

Taking your hand he held it to his forehead, letting out another small sigh.

“No, All Might has that covered, said I can spent the weekend at the teachers dorms with you, but I still need to go there during the day to help keep an eye on them.”

He sounded annoyed which made you laugh a little bit.

Setting your book on the couch, you swung your legs down next to him, sitting down after turning in his direction.

You couldn’t really see him, he knew that, all you could see was a thermal imagine of him, as you had described before he was basically just a silhouette of red, yellow and orange to you.

He loved how your eyes looked though, a gentle gold colour, and the brighter it was the darker they were, the darker it was the brighter they were, almost combatting the light so you could still see.

Right now they were a honey colour, and he rested his head on the back of the couch as he just stared at you.

“I know you’re staring.” You whispered.

“No you don’t.”

You grinned a little bit.

“Yeah, you’re right, I didn’t. Now I do.”

“Be quiet.” He huffed.

You laughed softly, and you held your arms out, waiting for him to adjust how he was sat and lay down with his head in your lap.

You placed your hands on the side of his face and leant down, and he lent up to meet you halfway in a gentle kiss.

Pulling away, you gently messaged his temples for him, working out all the stress of the day.

“Have you been inside all day?” He asked.

You nodded.

“Yeah, there wasn’t really much to do today, and I didn’t have to teach any classes, though some of your students did come asking for me to explain rescue missions to them.”

“Did you?”

“Of course, I’m not mean you know.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

“Alright, if that’s how we’re playing it I won’t do this anymore and you can suffer through the stress.” You taunted.

You quickly stood up, going to walking away but he was quicker, he grabbed your hand and pulled you back into his lap, wrapping an arm around your waist.

You grinned a little when you felt him burying his face into the crook of your neck.

You didn’t say anything, you just took his free hand, lacing your fingers with his as you sat there peacefully.

You knew he had fallen asleep like that when his hand fell a little from around your waist, and you gave a little laugh, nudging his head a little with your shoulder.

“Shota wake up, come on.”

He grumbled something you couldn’t quite understand.

“Shota, you’ll get hurt sleeping like this, come on.”

He moved his head and stood up, and you held your hand out to him, letting him take it so you could lead him through to the bedroom.

Sitting him on the end of the bed, you stood in front of him, and he looked up at you.

“Go to sleep, I’ll start cooking.”

“Take a nap with me.” He said.

You laughed.

“Alright, I won’t say no to that.”

You walked around to your side of the bed and laid down, holding your arm out to him so he could shuffled over.

Aizawa tucked his head under your chin, and you softly gripped the fabric of his shirt as you closed your eyes.

It didn’t take long for either of you to fall asleep, but while you stayed asleep, when the sound of someone knocking resounded through the place Aizawa woke up.

He untangled himself from you, covered you with the quilt so you wouldn’t get cold and walked towards the door while tying his hair up.

“This better be important.” He huffed.

When you eventually woke up you noticed the empty spot on the bed, and judging by the fact it was mostly a shade of blue now it had been empty for a while.

Getting up, you walked to the kitchen.

“Shota?”

There was no response and you frowned.

Making your way back towards the front door, you you slipped your shoes one, grabbed your jacket and left, heading downstairs where a few other teachers were.

You made your way over, looking at each one of them until you recognised the silhouette of your friend.

“Mic?” You called.

He looked over to you.

“Therma! Our favourite rescue hero, what’s up yo?”

You laughed a little bit.

“You know where Aizawa went?”

“Yeah! Some trouble at 1-As dorm, he had to go sort it out before things got out of hand!”

You nodded your head, making your way outside and down the path.

It was dark, so it wasn’t hard to recognise the heat signatures coming from the dorms, and you noticed one coming towards you.

“What’re you doing out this late? Call out?”

“Oh, power loader, hey, no, I’m looking for Aizawa, apparently he’s at his classes dorms, do you think maybe you could help me get to the right one?”

“Yeah, of course.”

The other hero turned around to walk in line with you, both of you talking about work as you wondered, and after a few minutes you finally stopped.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

With that he left, and you knocked on their door before entering, looking around.

“Oh? Can we help you (Y/N)?” Mina asked a little confused.

“Looking for your home room teacher.”

“He’s gone back I think.”

You let out a slight groan, and turned back around, offered them a wave as you left their dorm, making your way back to the teachers dorm.

You were pretty close when you saw someone walking ahead of you, and you began to jog over.

Aizawa heard the sound of you jogging, he didn’t know you were awake or looking for him so at the noise of somebody approaching him he spun around, activating his quirk.

When your vision suddenly went from thermal to normal, you let out a confused yell, slapping a hand over your eyes.

Aizawa quickly walked over, taking your hand carefully from your eyes, placing a hand on the side of your face.

“Did I hurt you? Are you okay?”

You looked at him, and you let out a small breath.

“Do it again…” you whispered.

“What?”

Now he was just confused.

“Do it again.. please…”

Aizawa took you inside, back to your shared space in the teachers dorms, and he sat you down on the couch.

Crouching down, he rested his arms on your knees.

“What do you mean do it again?”

“I.. I think you cancelled my quirk…”

“Is that possible?”

“I.. I think so, Shota please I haven’t seen things normally in so long… I haven’t seen you…”

You reached out, carefully placing your hands on the side of his face.

“Please…”

“I don’t know if it’s safe.”

“Shota please…. Take it away again so I can see you…”

He sighed, slowly standing up, pausing so he could kiss your forehead before he stepped away, saying he was going to make dinner.

You sat on the couch with a small frown.

You didn’t think it was dangerous if he took your quirk away, neither of you had thought to try it before, he didn’t just want to erase your quirk and you had never asked him, not until now.

He wanted to make you happy and erase it, see if it worked and if you would be able to see the world as it was.

At the same time he didn’t want to do it because if he did, and you looked at him, messy hair, scar on his face, he hadn’t shaved for at least a week, wearing his baggy hero costume he was worried maybe you’d think he wasn’t like you thought.

He was worried you’d want someone better than him, he struggled as it was with showing affection to you, and he’d come a long way since the start of the relationship, but he still had his doubts.

You were too good for him. He always believed that.

He never brought it up again, and he was hoping you wouldn’t, but he could tell you thought about it, so after another week he finally sat you down.

He crouched down in front of you, resting his arms on his legs with a sigh.

“Close your eyes.”

You nodded, doing as he said.

“Alright.”

You opened your eyes, and immediately you noticed how bright everything was, full of different colours, but your eyes were locked on his red ones.

He was pale, his hair was floating upwards, a deep black, he was wearing a white shirt and a black tie, and you could see the scar on his face, just under his eye.

He realised his quirk, rubbing his eyes and your went back to normal.

He stood up, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he turned away from you, you didn’t say anything, was that a bad thing?

“I can’t hold it longer, sorry…” he mumbled.

He began to leave the room.

“You’re so beautiful…” you whispered.

Aizawa stopped, keeping his face away from you forgetting you couldn’t read his expression.

“Be quiet…” he mumbled.

With that he quickly left the room, and you smiled, your thoughts completely focused on that one pure clear image of him.

You kept asking him to erase your quirk so you could see him, and eventually you both went to power loader to get him to help make something.

Which took a few months to finalise the details and he did the paperwork for you, and finally you had the procedure to have it done.

Recovery took a while, but tonight you were allowed to remove the bandages from your eyes, and Aizawa was stood in front of you.

“Keep your eyes closed.”

You nodded, letting him unwrap the bandages.

He looked at the small device attached to your temple, and he made sure it was set to the right setting.

They had managed to make a device that was connected to your eyes, meaning you could hopefully control your quirk now.

“You can open your eyes whenever you’re ready.”

You took a deep breath, slowly opening your eyes, and there he was again, dark eyes, hair tied up, he’d shaved, dressed up nicely in a suit.

You smiled brightly, reaching a hand up to the side of his face.

Aizawa noticed your eyes had changed to (E/C), and he smiled a little which made you smile even more.

“You made yourself look so handsome for me…?” You whispered.

“I wanted to make a good impression…” he mumbled out.

He averted his gaze awkwardly, and you reached behind him, pulling his hair down.

Then you moved your hands to his tie, undoing it, carefully taking it from around his head and he looked at him confused.

Did you not like it?

You set his tie aside, and placed your hands on the side of his face, leaning up to kiss him before dropping yourself back down.

“No matter how you dress, or how often you shave, hair up or down, you’re still the most beautiful person I’ll ever see Shota…”

“Can’t say that when you haven’t seen other people it doesn’t make sense…” he mumbled.

You gave a small shrug.

“You’re right, it doesn’t. But I love you, so you’ll always be my favourite person to look at.”

He gave you a little smile, leaning down to capture you in another kiss.

When he broke away you went to go look at everything, leaving him to change back into some caudal clothes but he noticed you would come back every so often to look at him.

When he woke up the following morning you were gazing at him with soft eyes, a smile on your face.

You looked at him so softly, so lovingly as if he was without imperfection, and it was the same way he looked back at you.

Even when you weren’t together sometimes you would seek him out just to sit there and watch him, even if he did keep telling you that you saw him every day.

You just couldn’t get enough of looking at him.

He was sitting in the office of UA with you sat at your desk, head resting on your hand as you admired him.

“Are you ever going to stop?” He asked.

“No, because you’re absolutely perfect.”

You got up, walking over and placed your hands on his face, brushing some of his hair out of the way.

“My Shota…” you whispered.

He awkwardly looked away, but he did whisper under his breath that he loved you.

It wasn’t loud, but you heard it and you grinned a little bit as you walked back over to your desk to do some work.

This time it was his turn to just sit there and look at you, admire you and how perfect you were

[kokofromwattpad]

IT BURNS

Featuring: Trey Clover, Kalim Al-Asim, Vil Shoenheit

Plot: The Ramshackle prefect gets itchy and turns into a lovely colour of red whenever they stand in the sun for too long

Cw: Gn! Reader, photosensitive! Reader, Trey Clover x reader, Kalim x reader, Vil x reader (Can all be read as platonic or romantic)

A/N: Basically, reader is sensitive to sunlight (JUST LIKE ME FRR)

TREY CLOVER:

-> The first and third years were having a joined flying lesson one day, so the prefect and Trey were just casually conversing as they were doing their stretches.

-> The sun was blazing overhead since there was a major heat wave going throughout the island, so everyone was getting tired and suffering from mild heatstroke every day

-> After a while, Trey had noticed that the prefect's cheeks and forearms had begun to tint a light redish colour.

-> It's when the itchiness and pain began to come in that Trey began to worry.

-> Hurriedly, Trey goes to Coach Vargas and asks for permission to take a break with the prefect. Coach agrees, and Trey leads them underneath the trees to try and ease up on their discoloration.

-> When the vice dorm leader asks for an explanation, all the prefect says is that they are sensitive to the sun had get extremely itchy when they stand in the sun for too long.

-> All Trey does is sigh and stay by their side until the end of the lesson, to which he then buys them a bottle of water to keep them hydrated :)

KALIM AL-ASIM:

-> The Ramshackle prefect was staying over at Scarabia for dinner since Kalim was celebrating for passing one of his history tests.

-> It was the middle of summer, and Kalim decided that he wanted to march to the oasis in celebration and then swim and have a sort of 'pool' party in the oasis.

-> It was actually Jamil who noticed that the prefect was acting odd. They were scratching at their scalp and forearms, trying to relieve the intense pain that was trickling up in their body.

-> Kalim quickly jumps down from the elephant he was riding and quickly sprints to where the prefect was busy scratching away at their skin.

-> Kalim summons his unique magic and dumps the water on them, thinking that that would help relieve them

-> It did

-> Kalim would then on, periodically dump water on the prefect as they continued to march to the oasis.

VIL SHOENHEIT:

-> There was a spelldrive match against RSA that Vil watched and supported since Epel was playing on NRC's team.

-> The prefect tagged along since Epel was their friend and coincidentally was seated next to Vil.

-> After some simple greetings and passing along pleasantries, the two sat in silence as they watched Epel playing in the match.

-> A half an hour into the match, Vil noticed the prefect scratching at their legs and arms, leaving small pale likes in their skin from how blunt their nails are.

-> The model gasped internally at the sight and looked at the prefect with a concerned look on his face.

-> "Did you apply any sunscreen before you got here, potato?" He questions, perfectly plucked eyebrow raising in suspicion.

-> When the prefect nodded and explained that the itchiness happens even if they put on multitudes of sunscreen, they still itch and burn up.

-> Vil tuts and hands them his chilled water bottle to help ease up on the hear they were feeling.

-> A couple of days later, a salve of some sort of cream was left on the prefect's doorstep with a note saying that it would help their skin.

Posted on: 11/01/2024 08:27

[lavandermix]

"Timmy Fenton AU"

I've been thinking about this AU for a while and since I've finished the basic design of the main characters, I wanted to share it.

This is an idea of what it would be like if Timmy had been abandoned with the Fenton's at the age of 5. The story is still half in my head but I'm leaving the most important parts as a future reference:

I am using part of the chronology of the premiere dates of the series, so, Clement (Timmy's mother) is 3 years older than Maddie (Danny's mother). Even so, Maddie married and had children before Clement.

(Did you know that according to Google, Timmy's parents are named Clement and Edgar? So sad).

Timmy's mother and Danny's mother are sisters, Clement from a young age resented her younger sister for being smart and skilled in engineering, she made fun of her passion for ghosts and criticized her marriage to Jack although she was also envious of their success in their career and marriage. On the other hand Maddie stopped paying attention to her sister and although she tried to keep in touch, she stopped receiving responses when she had her daughter, the last she heard from her sister was 5 years before when she announced her pregnancy to the family and gloated that her daughter would be better than Jazmine (and daniel).

Timmy has suffered abuse and neglect from his parents for as long as he can remember, causing him various traumas and disorders, including dyslexia, anxiety, anxious attachment, selective mutism and ADHD.

Timmy is learning retarded because his parents never took him to school.

The day Timmy is abandoned, he is taken out of his bed at dawn and put in the car with only his backpack and only one change of clothes, he changed in the car, so he didn't have his pink cap anymore.

Timmy's hair is a little long and unkempt because his parents kept forgetting to take him to the hair salon.

They literally left him on the Fenton's doorstep with his backpack and a letter where Clement asked (demanded) her to take care of him since she and her husband were going on a cruise and didn't want to take timmy with them.

Danny at first doesn't understand why an unknown boy who is supposed to be his cousin is now staying at his house, but seeing how sad Timmy looks, he adopts him as his little brother and proposes to take care of him.

Jazz worries about Timmy but prefers to leave the “recovery” work to his parents.

Maddie and Jack first try to locate Timmy's parents, but when they can't find anything for a month, they decide that the best thing for Timmy is to adopt him themselves.

In this AU Timmy doesn't meet Cosmo and Wanda until the Volcano Island adventure.

I haven't thought about if Timmy will have friends at Amity Park yet, but at the beginning he has to receive special education plus extra classes with Jazz for reinforcement.

Timmy's skin is slightly pale due to the lack of sun exposure from being indoors most of the time.

I want to make this a fanfic in the future, but I don't have any publication date yet, anyway if anyone wants to know more, feel free to ask me questions or drop me a message!

[sabrondabrainrot]

🌦️Dark Sun and 🔅Servant Sun

I tried my hand at designing Servant Sun and Dark Sun.

I'm getting more caught up on the lore!! Click underneath for art closeups and more Lore rants and AU idea! Plus, I have sketches and a comic WIP I've been working on.

😉

There will be rambly spoilers to where I am in the Lore.

For Dark Sun I was inspired a lot by the thumbnails, they give him red eyes a lot in the thumbnails and I like the smarmy red eyed look of the guy. Tried to capture his 'regal-holier then thou' attitude in his design. He's still Sun though, so I used OG Sun's palette (my first Sun design!) to reflect the fact they have the same beginnings. I don't trust anything he says but I know something has totally happened to his Moon (I'm really banking on the idea he ATE him/ ATE his intelligence chip) so he carries his Moon's bell and he also repurposed the star pattern of Moon to parade it around as like a symbol his Moon is at his heal. I don't know if I like his final look but I think it's because I gave him dramatically darker shading vs the other Suns.

Servant Sun! Here's my take on him. He's been suffering for over 10000+ years under Lord Eclipse abuse. We saw how he was being punished just because Lore Eclipse was bored! I feel really bad for this Sun, it was hard to draw a design for him. I think despite his servant title Lord Eclipse just keeps him around not only to keep himself sane but also a trophy/slave to show off to Moon and the others in the afterlife. I had this like monologue for SSun basically, "The sound of bells long ago stopped ringing for the daycare attendant turned servant but Lord Eclipse still can hear the sound of metallic chimes when the neurotic servant cleans thanks to his fanciful additions." (aka the chime of chains) He's also got an apron that's falling apart and SSun used random old fabric to patch it up (it wasn't random it was his old clothes). I was really inspired by Meagancandraw's design of Servant Sun!

Here's my AU sketches. I'm planning to clean these up and maybe color them? This is basically just the AU idea that I think Sun is going to somehow get reborn but be a being reborn from star power and negative star power? I don't know if it's possible? He becomes a mix of the two in my AU. I know some current spoilers and basically I know he may be immune to negative star energy? He can also hold Star Power uniquely and it 'taste good to him'. I will never let go of the fact he told Moon it taste nice like dried watermelon. His untrained magical outburst was also compared to be as powerful as Golden Freddy's. There's big theory he's going to die or be sacrificed but I have this idea what if he's essentially remade? idk just rambly thoughts. So yeah, he has a cool new look to go with his magical transformation.

BTW he is very sad cause he can't be near his family in this AU my brain cooked up. He's basically radiation incarnate now <3 His eyes are cracked because they're intensely pouring out Star/Negative Star power. Just a constant pull and push of power circulating in him.

this is the comic idea I have currently. I don't have a ton of motivation so any encouragement to finish this comic idea would be super appreciated! I'm not a comic-type artist so this is out of my comfort zone (I've made a few comics but usually they are pretty janky)

ON TO THE RAMBLES - spoilers BEWARE:

NEW MOON MY BOY PLS YOU ARE HIDING STUFF FROM YOUR FAMILY. BOY NO. HE IS GONNA USE RUIN TO BRING BACK SOLAR?

Blood Moon just took Ruin. Also Dark Sun repaired Ruin after Molten took him to die in the dead dimension?? BOY??? Also, Dark Sun did something to Eclipse??? Bro is plotting. I wish I could get a read on Dark Sun but I don't even know how much of the truth he's been sharing thus far. He has no reason to tell anyone the truth and so far he hasn't hurt anyone just stole a bunch of data from Moon and built a bunker to escape total dimension collapse...He's just a big wild card for me.

Then there's New Moon, He's just actually going crazy after meeting Old Moon. Sun can tell something is wrong with his brother!!! I hope he can help him but spoilers tells me otherwise. The family is trying! Earth heard out Eclipse and Eclipse is getting Earth proof that Moon is currently cray-cray. Lunar is kind of hanging near Sun and Earth because the creator is now actively trying to kidnap him. So much spicy drama.

I don't pay attention much to the Freddy side of the plot but he's also dying?? bro??? What about Francine? The missing mom/wife? Poor Francine's suffering, she needs her mom and dad! I like that Puppet is hanging around her grandchild more it is very sweet. Foxy also got his 'bestfriend' Puppet a house/condo. hmm-Mmmhmm. Definitely no romantic tensions there. Definitely not.

(side bar, I don't ship Kidscove but I do ship the Foxy and Puppet do they have a ship name? Also no hate to Kidscove I just think Foxy treats Sun like a kid a lot. I like the gooseworld Kidscove. Sun laid eggs, so wholesome.)

Lunar is just waiting for news on his trial and I am in suspense hoo boy...Then the stuff with FC being put in a new body and Frank is not happy about it. I def can tell there's big lead up to the astral bodies making a big move I just wonder what the move will be. I feel like now Lunar and FC are going to end up being more intwined then they might think.

Also I love Dazzle!!! AAAGH! She and Jack are so cute! I loved the ep Sun took Dazzle and Lunar to the store that was so sweet. Can't wait to see more of them! They're such a cute dynamic! I like seeing Lunar put his best foot forward to help Dazzle too.

I can tell Moon is slowly distancing himself from the others but it's like this odd thing where he's no longer obsessed with Solar being back per sei...but he's obsessed over how HE has to be the one to bring Solar back in his way because HE promised and he wants to be better then Old Moon and yeah...he's got a very warped perspective I feel like? But Molten and Ruin BOTH pointed out Moon is being possessed by something so I think he's definitely sick? Or something is keeping him from seeing the error of his way.

Rambles over :)

I do plan to draw Solar and Eclipse and Lord Eclipse next but I'm stuck on what I want to do for Solar's design :P I might make a poll in the future!

[lovelyladyabsinthewrites]

In the Dead of Night

Pairing: Edward Cullen x Swan!Reader

Warnings:none really, renee being a bad mom, reader having to basically parent both renee and bella, charlie being typical charlie, edward maybe ooc?

Words:5712

Nessa=Renesmee but like hell I’m keeping that name xD

You felt a bit shell shocked when your father drove his police cruiser through the small town of Forks. Both you and Bella have your faces pressed against your respective windows. Charlie catches a glimpse of his daughters via rear view mirror and smiles a little to himself.

Gone was the sand of Arizona as was the blazing sun that had you feeling uncomfortable in your own skin. Little love would be lost from leaving Arizona. That was something you and Bella could agree on.

The blues and grays that was a perpetual filter over Forks better suited you. Spending your last high school year wouldn’t be too bad. Then you could decide to live anywhere you want. No more responsibility for Bella and suffering from a flighty and unpredictable mom. While you love them both dearly, it wasn’t easy growing up having to act like a parent to both of them. Bella excelled academically, but you constantly worried for her safety. She was like a magnet for danger. There was always a scrap to bandage or something else that required you to comfort her through.

Renee was no better. It was worse being a mother to your actual mom. You were the one to always call her when it was getting too late. Always you taking care of Bella because Renee took a surprise trip and just left you a note and some money.

Just because you were a year older than your sister, Renee deemed you ready enough to be a substitute mom.

At least she never let the two of you go starving or without anything. That much you would give her.

There was hardly any emotional warmth in the house though.

Much like everything else about Forks, nothing seemed to have changed in Charlie’s home. The two small beds had new sheets on them but everything else was as you and Bella had left it.

“Sorry the two of you have to share a room.” Charlie awkwardly apologizes. He addresses you “I know how older kids like to have their own space.”

That was laughable. You’d never had your own space, but it was sweet of him. “Don’t worry about it.” You offer him an unsteady grin as you and your sister still felt partially awkward around your dad. It’s been years since you’ve even spoken to him for this long. He never fought to see you and seemed perfectly satisfied to lose contact with both of you.

Every inch of the room was frozen in time as your eyes rove in observation.

You remind yourself that it was just one. More year. One more year and just one bathroom shared between the three of you.

Breaking the silence was a sharp honk coming from right outside your bedroom window. Both you and Bella scramble to peer out of it.

A beat up, rusty red pickup truck turns its engine off. You’re still unable to see its occupants.

“That would be Billy Black.” Your dad explained with a small smile.

the last name did ring a bell in your vague memory from. Childhood. You look at Bella who just shrugs and follows Charlie into the hallway.

Outside a young teenager is helping an older man into a waiting wheelchair.

Charlie clears his throat. “You girls remember billy Black.”

Billy’s smile is warm and makes your posture relax a bit. “Glad you’re finally here.”

Both he and Charlie become distracted by their own conversation leaving the teen boy to introduce himself. “I’m Jacob. I think both of you made mud pies with me and my sisters when we were younger.”

Mud pies did sound familiar but that resurfacing memory fades when Charlie tells you that the truck is a gift for you and Bella. A homecoming gift.

**

Parking your truck in the student lot, you drum your fingers along the steering wheel. Bella in the passenger seat inhales deeply.

“We’ll get through this.” you remind her.

She looks at you with large, nervous eyes. When she was frightened, Bella always reminded you of Bambi. “Yeah. It’s just. . . the first day of school is always the worst. And we know absolutely no one here.”

“I know you.” You pipe in and it makes Bella smile if only a little bit. “That’s gotta be worth something. C’mon. Best we get acquainted with the school before the bell rings.”

Centering your courage, you tell yourself this was just another day at a high school that was like many others throughout the country.

After paying a visit to the school’s office to get your schedules, you and Bella hold them up to compare classes. Due to age you didn’t have any of the same classes together.

Too busy studying your piece of paper, you don’t notice the hurried footsteps rushing behind you.

“New girls!”

You jump, letting out a high pitch curse word. Bella holds her hand to her chest like she just experienced a heart attack. 

Thoroughly annoying both Swan sister was a kid closer to Bella’s age. His smile was friendly enough but you didn’t appreciate how he had snuck up on you. “Sorry, didn’t mean to spook you guys!”

His name was Eric and turned out to be very insistent that he show you two around.

Reluctantly you go along with it, figuring no harm came from knowing at least one person.

Even though he was a tad annoying, Eric did prove to be a helpful guide.

You and Bella started your first few classes without a hitch.

At lunch, Bella introduced you to two more kids she had met in her gym class as well as a bubbly girl who blinded you by the pictures she took of you and your sister. 

You’d met a few of your same year classmates and found them agreeable. They must have liked you too because they did invite you to eat with them. You didn’t want to leave Bella by herself the first day though. Integration was not something Bella was keen on. 

In grade school you’d often be called in from your own class to help Bella calm down. It was safer just to make sure she was happily acclimated before you went off to do your own thing. 

You mind wanders as you pick at your food. Peers around talk of typical high school experiences and asked you about your school in Arizona. 

Jessica is chatting animatedly with Bella until the double doors of the cafeteria that led outside open.

Five of the most beautiful people you’d ever seen saunter inside like they own the damn place.

Painfully divine, their skin as smooth as porcelain and blemish free. Eyes painted in differing shades of golden honey. 

The first four were paired off, leaving the boy with bronze colored hair trailing behind them.

Even Bella couldn’t tear her eyes from them as Jessica tells both of you about the Cullens. Adopted by the local doctor and how infamously unobtainable Edward was.

Gorgeous they were, but there’s a coldness to them.

As if reading your thoughts, Edward’s eyes happen to single you out and stare. He reminded you of a predatory hawk with those intense irises that were so unusual. You’d never seen anyone with an eye color like that before. Like a polished piece of precious metal.

Eerily he grins at you before returning his attention to his adoptive siblings.

First one to get out, you wait for Bella in the truck as the last shriek of the bell rings through the air above the school. 

You spot her, a deep frown already on her face. When she gets in you ask what’s wrong. Of course she’s always reluctant to say right away what’s bothering her. Possibly taking after Charlie too much in that respect.

“That Edward guy is in my biology class.” She mumbles while buckling herself in. By her tone it didn’t sound like a good thing. “I had to sit next to him and. . . he was just really weird.”

“How so?”

She shrugs her shoulders. “He was making facing like I smelled.”

Leaning in, you give her a big sniff making Bella’s cheeks self consciously pinken. “You smell fine to me.”

That wasn’t enough to satisfy her though.

“Don’t worry about him.” You halfheartedly offer. “There’s clearly something wrong with him.”

Not until the next day would you have your own strange encounter with Edward Cullen.

Barely having just closed our locker, you jump when you see him standing there. At your bemused expression, Edward awkwardly smiles and leans against the lockers. “You’re (y/n) Swan.”

“And you’re Edward Cullen.” You raise a challenging brow. All last night Bella had been so concerned about how she smelled thanks to this guy.

The lightness of his smile dims and you notice how he appears to mentally back step as to not say anything stupid.

“Feels like I’m failing at that already.” He says under his breath.

“What?”

“Sorry.” He closes his pretty eyes that had pinned you in place. “I. . .”

Bella bounds over to you in a hurry, almost bumping into other students in the process. “Here (y/n)! I think I accidentally. . .” she notices Edward standing next to you “took your notebook. . .”

You see Bella shrink into herself as she hands you your notebook. Yup, it was your’s. Tattered and covered with sharpie doodles on the front. “Thanks Bells.”

Before things could get awkward, Edward immediately blurts “I”m sorry about yesterday. I was not quite feeling well that day before class.”

By Bella’s eyebrows creasing, you read that as Bella not quite buying his excuse. However she didn’t press and simply nods in acknowledgement. “I-It’s okay.”

Even you don’t necessarily buy it but at least he apologized. Now that the air was clear of that mess, you bid Edward a goodbye and tell Bella you’d see her at lunch.

Throughout the day though, you caught Edward staring at you. It always felt like he could read your mind because the moment you thought this creepy, he would avert his focus and look to somewhere else.

Following days, while you didn’t catch him staring at you, you would fel his nearness. You couldn’t say his attention was unwelcome. After all, he was incredibly good looking to an unbelievable degree.

Bella thought him weird, but she’d had a chip on her shoulder toward him since the first day.

Once in a while, she’d point out that the smallest of the Cullens, Alice, had been staring at you. Catching her doing this only once, Alice merely smiled at you unabashedly like you were a friend from long ago.

Stranger to come was when they actually start talking to you (besides the blondie Rosalie). A few words here and there. According to Jessica they never talk to anyone else outside of their family bubble.

A month passes and your new Forks routine finally feels normal and established. 

Bella tend to spend all of her free time in La Push with Jacob and his friends. You encourage this for it granted you precious time to yourself. For a few hours, the house was entirely your’s. You enjoy lounging in the living room, your books and papers scattered everywhere as you lazily “study” while simultaneously watching tv. 

A tickle along your neck alerted you to an unseen presence though. Apprehension pulls your face away from the screen and off to the side where the window was. While you weren’t completely sure, you thought you saw a flash of movement.

Incidences like that continued until March. 

Edward’s action became bolder toward you. Conversations lasting more than a few seconds. From bits and pieces you started to pick up on odd little quirks. Sometimes you were so sure that he could read your mind.

You found his awkwardness around you admittedly adorable. From the way Jessica had described him, you thought he was stuck up due to his good looks. Also you hadn’t forgotten how distant all the Cullens were to their peers. But he’d be a little tongue tied around you. Scrambling to come up with appropriate words. Amusing to watch him stumble over himself. 

Until he asked you out. On an actual date.

It could have been a prank. This wouldn’t be the first time someone asked you out for it to only be a joke. Of course this would cause you to be apprehensive.

“Now why would Edward Cullen want to go out on a date with the new girl?” You fold your arms in front of your chest.

Instead of being intimidated by your defensive stance, Edward smiles. “You make it sound like me liking you is impossible.”

“Ah, you like me.” Damn, your heart did flutter at that and there was a stupid smile that was trying to force your lips upward.

“I know I don’t know much about you. But I would like to.” Edward adds when he sensed your wavering skepticism. 

“Since when are you dating Edward Cullen?!” Bella slammed the door of the truck.

You have to mentally count now. “Well, it’s probably been a week now.” After your first date, during the time where Charlie and Bella were out of the house, you knew that there would be more dates to come. Never had you got along so well with anyone. There had been no awkward moments and the mere lulls in conversation had been neutral. One odd thing about it was that Edward had eaten so little of his food.

Her eyes are comically large with disbelief. “You can’t be serious. H-How-“

“Well I’ve finally had time to myself.” You shrug. “Figure that time would be better spent doing something that makes me happy.” Edward hadn’t been as odd as you initially expected him to be. Sure he spoke like an old timey gentleman. His speech pattern was eloquent, a lost talent among boys these days that utterly delighted you.

“(Y/n). . . I don’t trust him. . . Or the rest of his family for that fact.” She uncomfortably looks ahead, her arms wrapped around herself.

“Why’s that?”

She bites her bottom lip, a nasty habit she’d developed when she was in kindergarten. “There’s just something not right about them. Jake was telling me something about them. How they don’t go there due to a pact their ancestors made with his. They were called the Cold Ones.”

You wanted to laugh at her serious tone. That girl was reading too many supernatural romance books. “You realize how silly that sounds.”

“I’m being serious.”

Trying to focus on your driving, you only half listen to her. “So am I Bella.”

Edward asked you to the spring dance the very next day.

Come April, you and Edward would be together for nearly a month. Impressive in your eyes considering that this was your first real relationship. In that time, Edward invited you over to his house many times. You got to know the rest of the family. You didn’t want to pick favorites but Emmett and Alice definitely held a special place in your heart.

They took care of you when you were lonely or had been fighting with Bella and Charlie.

Dating Edward had suddenly become a fuse in your relationship with the both of them. Neither liked you dating a member of the Cullens. You didn’t understand. For Charlie it may have been a protective father thing, but you still didn’t know why Bella held on to her dislike of them so fervently. You wouldn’t take the story Jacob gave her as an excuse.

Esme especially became the caring mother you never had. She was patient and was good at listening to your problems, even giving you words of wisdom. You felt whole when you were with them.

This was something Charlie and Bella couldn’t comprehend.

**

“Bella?”

While that voice had never spoken to her before, Bella knew the owner.

She turned around to face the petite Alice who was like a real life pixie.

Her guard is put up immediately. The Cullens only ever spoke to her sister (y/n). This. . . This was new. They hadn’t even bothered looking her way. Not even when Edward would come up to her when Bella was there and just swoop in.

Alice smiles prettily. “I was wondering if we can talk? Just for a few minutes, I promise.”

“What did you want to talk about?”

The smaller girl doesn’t reply but looks around uncertainly. “I was hoping I can speak with you somewhere less crowded.”

Pursing her lips, the last thing she wanted to do was be alone with her. Still, it was better than for them to get odd looks.

Bella relented and followed Bella to an empty corridor where the janitor’s closet was tucked away.

Alice began immediately “This is going to sound crazy. I know it will. But I need you to understand something about your sister and Edward. I know their relationship must seem so out of the blue. And I know you don’t particularly like us. (Y/n) and Edward, they’re meant to be together.”

And (y/n) had told her that Jacob’s story had sounded silly. This was downright insane for Alice to be saying.

She had sparse time to wrap her head around it before Alice spoke again. “It’s a deeper connection than between a human male and female. They’re coming together was predestined.”

Now Bella couldn’t hold it in as she let out her laugh. She couldn’t help the giggles that rolled out of her.

A frown upon her lips, Alice stood there until Bella quieted down.

Wiping the small tears that had pricked at her eyes, Bella said “Yeah that does sound crazy. You sound crazy.”

“Bella-“

“Look,” Bella checks the time on her phone to make sure the bell wouldn’t ring anytime soon “you, Edward and your entire weird family need to leave us alone.”

**

The ride home that day was absolute shit.

You and Bella were screaming at one another as you tried not to let your rage translate to your driving. How dare she have the gull to tell you that you needed to stop seeing Edward. Stop running to his family. What Alice had said was weird, that was true, but Alice had always been a little weirder than the rest of her family. That’s what you liked most about Alice. She wouldn’t apologize for being different.

When you reach the house, you slam on your breaks and tell Bella to get out.

“This is my truck too!!” Bella yells at you, refusing to move.

“Isabella Marie Swan” you hiss and Bella freezes having heard that tone before. It was the one you used to scold her when she was being a naughty child “You are my sister and I love you, but you need to get the fuck out of this truck.”

Her eyes are filling with trembling tears as she looks at you with shock smacking her cheeks pink with indignation and hurt.

You glare at her using all of your built up resentment that you’d accumulated through the years. Having to put Bella before yourself. Really it wasn’t her fault. The fault lay on Renee, but the way Bella was acting right now made you furious.

Slowly, she puts her hand on the door handle and pushes it open. She slips out but makes sure to slam the door extra hard.

Not bothering to look back, you shift into reverse and peel out of there.

There was only one place you wanted to be right now. People who would understand you.

Vampire.

Now that was to be the shock of the day.

You stare at the broken blade of the butcher knife that Edward had used to demonstrate the strength of his skin. He even read your mind to the ‘t’.

“So. . . Mates?” You hesitantly bring up the catalyst to Edward telling you that he and the rest of his family were vampires. That was what Bella had said Alice called them.

Bashfully he grins. “Ah. . . Yeah. Vampires mate for life. And. . . Well, Alice can see the future. She saw a future with us together.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Worry shines in his eyes. Would this be too much for you? The expression seemed to say.

Your head is buzzing and warm from all of this. So much had happened in just two hours that you were having a slow time at processing everything. This was a lot.

“Sorry to spring this all on you.” Edward sighs. “I’ve been thinking on how I would tell you. As you can see it’s not something I can tell just anyone. I was scared that you wouldn’t want me anymore. That you would feel our relationship forced.”

“It’s definitely a lot, but it doesn’t change how I feel about you.” You smile up at him and the break of relief on his face sends your own smile onto your lips.

He holds you to him and you return the embrace tenfold. The Cullens had been the best things to happen in your life. To know that you always belonged with them was enough to reinforce that thought.

“Is it too soon to say I love you?” He whispers against your temple.

“Not for us.”

May passed as did the spring dance where you and Edward had come to a certain agreement.

This agreement was discussed with the rest of the Cullens. Everyone was on board (of course again except for Rosalie).

Tension at the Swan household had been near suffocating. You had to be patient though.

The day of senior graduation wouldn’t be remembered for the event itself. It would always be remembered as the last day anyone saw you.

***

Three years.

That’s how long her sister had been missing.

Three years since the Cullens had been gone as well, their house lay vacant and empty. As if they had never lived there.

Charlie had exhausted all resources in trying to find (y/n).

Bella didn’t have it in her to leave the state for college. Not with Charlie still a mess. He cursed the Cullen name daily. People looked at them with pity.

She attended college via computer to be close to Charlie and keep an eye on him. In the meantime she’d picked up a job at the store Mike’s father owned. Decent money, enough to put her through school along with her scholarships.

Honestly, Bella wished she knew if her sister left on purpose or by force. Maybe that would lessen the hurt she left in her wake.

It was looking bleak though and nearly everyone stopped searching for her.

Huffing out a sigh, Bella runs her fingers through her hair in weariness and sets down her pencil. She couldn’t focus anymore. Not when the anniversary of (y/n)’s disappearance was one month away. It was like every day leading up to (y/n)’s senior graduation was being replayed in Bella’s dreams. The constant fighting and ensuing silence that followed were daily occurrences in those weeks. Bella had called (y/n) delusional. (Y/n) had called Bella an ungrateful brat.

So many words she wanted to take back but the damage was done.

The doorbell rings, calling Bella to attention and she sluggishly leaves her room to glide down the stairs. She opens the door and her heart nearly stops.

“(Y-y/n)?”

The person at her door looked so much like (y/n) except. . . Well, (y/n) wasn’t ugly, but she’d never been this beautiful. Her skin was stunning and seemed to glow. The best features of her face seemed to be enhanced in some way. Makeup maybe but Bella couldn’t say for sure.

What was absolutely different from (y/n) were the gold colored eyes. Cullen eyes.

Speaking of, Edward stood to the side of her looking the same as he did three years ago. His eyes matched (y/n)’s.

On (y/n)’s other side. . .

Bella had never seen this girl before. Eerily though she looked like both (y/n) and Edward mixed together but she was far too old to be their kid. No way. But. . . She had the color of what (y/n)’s eyes used to be. The warmest brown. Her fair skinned face is framed by Edward’s bronze ringlets.

“Hey. . .” (Y/n) tries to smile. “Please don’t freak out but can we come in?”

Dumbly, Bella stares and she vaguely remembers nodding her head before letting the three inside.

(Y/n)’s gold eyes move quickly around the house. “Wow. . . Still nothing has changed.” She murmured to herself.

It was like Bella was watching a ghost float down the hall to the living room. Edward and the unnamed girl following after her. The girl shot worrying looks over to Bella before following Edward.

Stiffly, Bella followed the procession into the living room and watched them sit down.

“You’re alive.”

(Y/n) grimaced and chooses her words carefully. “Yes. . . I. . . I’m so sorry Bella.

Bella looked at Edward. “You ran away with him.”

She nodded and Edward put a protective hand atop of (y/n)’s. Only then did Bella spot the gold band wrapped around (y/n)’s left ring finger.

Swallowing thickly, Bella looked at her older sister. “You eloped.” She corrected herself.

“Yes.” (Y/n) replied within a heartbeat. “I don’t regret the decision but I regret hurting you and Charlie. I should have left a note but I was so angry with the both of you. It was childish and I’m sorry if you and Charlie suffered.”

Both Edward and the young girl watch Bella carefully; gauging her reaction.

“And. . .” (Y/n) glanced at Edward who subtly nods “and I wanted to explain why I left and for you to meet our daughter, Nessa.”

**

Oh were you nervous.

You didn’t even think a vampire could feel this nervous.

If only you could read your sister better. Not even Edward could delve into her mind though.

This was bad. You knew coming had been a bad idea and that you may make things worse by telling her. But you couldn’t let go of the guilt with just up and leaving Bella. For the longest time you had watched over her. It felt weird to just abandon her. At the same time though, eloping with Edward had been something you really needed.

You’d married Edward immediately when you were deemed a safe distance away.

The life you had chosen was not what you had first anticipated.

From that first night of being physical with Edward, you became pregnant. He had planned to change you the very next day but now he couldn’t.

Everyone freaked out most certainly, but while the pregnancy was not the easiest, it definitely moved along quickly.

Early on you found how blood actually fed you and the fetus better than any human food. Great practice for what you would have to do once you were transformed. Edward had doubts of if you would survive. Alice’s sight was what gave you your calm. No matter what she still saw you in Edward’s future. As she did your daughter.

You couldn’t meet your daughter right away after her birth.

Once she’d been removed from you, Edward immediately changed you. This was all part of the plan. Everyone knew going into it that it would be unlikely for you to survive naturally. The only thing that would save you would be vampire venom.

Before your state got any weaker, Edward sunk his teeth into you.

You were born again into a sturdier body.

Your hybrid daughter, much like in the womb, grew fast but you noticed a decline in growth once her second birthday came around. Now she looked much like your frozen age of eighteen.

You knew she’d have an incredulous look when you introduced Nessa. It easily led into you explaining what had happened. You even used the same demonstration Edward had three years prior when telling you that he was a vampire. You’d buy Charlie a new knife to replace the broken one that bent against the force of your diamond strong skin. 

All the while, Bella was absolutely silent. She couldn’t take her eyes off of you or Nessa. Then after you’re done speaking, her focus turns to your husband and Bella’s brown eyes narrow. 

Wanting to erase that expression of deep bitterness that she shot Edward, you apologize once again for leaving. How many times had you apologized?

“You abandoned us for them. We thought. . . We were thinking the worst (y/n). All this time. . .” Bella’s eyes burned with a mixture of hurt and betrayal. Her bottom lip which she usually chewed when she was nervous trembled. While her and Charlie had been worried sick, (y/n) had become this monstrously beautiful creature. You could feel her emotions boiling over and you allow her to scald you. “And you waited three years to come back.”

“I had to get through the newborn phase.” Hastily you explain. “There was no way I could have seen you earlier. I needed. . . Needed to learn control over this new body of mine.”

You’re grateful that Edward keeps quiet but you could feel him stir beside you, not liking how you’re basically groveling with explanations with the hope that Bella would forgive you. He had warned you about this. About it being too much for Bella.

“Control.” Bella laughed at that making you inwardly flinch at the disdain dripping from her. “This is what you call control? Abandoning your family, leaving us in agony-”

“For the longest time I had to give up MY own happiness.” Instantly you snap, feeling heat rush through you although you knew that you couldn’t really get hot or cold. “I gave up my childhood to take care of not just you but freaking Renee too!! I wanted to be selfish for once in my life. And yes, it has made me beyond happy making a life with the Cullens and MY daughter.”

Never had you voiced your resentment of never having anything to yourself. Bella couldn’t have possibly known.

Now Bella’s narrowed eyes turn to Nessa who is staring wide eyed at her aunt. “And what about her? What kind of abomination is she? A mix of human and vampire? How could you bring such a monstrosity into this world?”

Abruptly, Edward stands. Unable to let her slander go on any further even as you grab at the sleeve of his shirt to pull him back down. Nessa’s face fell, her innocent eyes cloud with hurt making even you want to snap at your cruel sister. “She’s our daughter, Bella. She’s not a monster. She’s a beautiful, innocent child who deserves love and acceptance.”

From how fast he had stood, Bella had pressed herself into the couch; partially out of fear of what an enraged vampire would do.

Glancing at Nessa, you notice that Bella did seem to soften even if a little bit when she caught the hurt on Nessa’s face. 

Taking a deep breath, Bella pulls her back away from the couch cushion. Even if she hated you for leaving, she had no reason to hate your daughter. Something in her throat bobs with emotion. “I’m sorry Nessa. . . But I can’t condone any of this.” She goes back to you. “You ran off to live some happy little life while leaving Charlie and I to mourn. I’m sorry it was so terrible taking care of me that you felt you had to run away.”

“Bella-”

“I need all of you to get out before Charlie comes home. He. . . He can’t see you like this.” 

You don’t want to leave, not until Bella understood why you left but it was a losing battle as she could only focus on her hurt. 

Nessa grabs your hand and through her supernatural talent of conveying her thoughts and feelings, she sends you comforting waves of how you were still loved by her and the Cullens. That this didn’t have to be the end of it, but that it would be best to give your sister space.

Your Nessa had always been so smart beyond her years thanks to her accelerated brain. You squeeze her hand in your grip and nod.

Leaving made you feel like you had lost but it was the best thing to do right now and not push Bella. 

Edward kept his arm wrapped around your shoulders as he led you and Nessa back to his car.

“That could have gone so much worse.” You say once all of you return to the old Cullen house. Nessa had gone off to help Esme with cleaning up the place. They’d always loved their Forks home and were loathe to leave in the beginning. You promised Esme that all of you would return one day. 

Edward kisses your temple and hums. “Didn’t expect her to say those things about Nessa.” He was still upset at that. Nessa was a miracle and the family’s pride and joy. After giving birth to her, Rosalie even started to warm up toward you. 

You wished you had seen Charlie but Bella may have been right about it best that he didn’t see you so changed. Alice had given you contact lenses that matched your human color eyes but they irritated your eyes and would only last for an hour or two. 

“I did hurt them by leaving.” You mumble. “I know that. Is it bad that I don’t regret my actions though?” The fact that you hadn’t even left a note had bothered you the past three years. Instead you let Edward spirit you away in the dead of night where no prying eyes could see where you disappeared into.

“You did what you had to do to get freedom.” Edward coaxes you to the tarp covered couch and onto his lap so your head lay on his chest. He cradles you in his arms and holds you close to him. “We have Nessa now because of the decisions you made.”

Yes, you had your Nessa and a family that actually supported you instead of forcing so much responsibility on you. 

You were unarguably happier than before.

----

Tag:

@thedragonqueensblog​

[shizunitis]

Luo Binghe & Tianlang-Jun: Origins. And a Bit of Projection.

Disclaimer: This is basically just a collection of quotes from The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System, Volume 3, accompanied by (adjective) thoughts, and then even more relevant quotes listed at the end. If I could, I’d paste the entirety of Chapter 18.

“As expected, I can’t bring myself to hate humans.” — Vol. 3, Chapter 21: Always Together

I will always be conflicted on the topic of Tianlang-jun, and it annoys me. There is so much I could say about him, and so little I can successfully articulate. He is, to me, more confounding, complex and tragic than Shen Jiu.

He’s pitiful and awe-inspiring, wicked and affable, cunning and wide-eyed in his curiousity. He is a compelling, heartbreaking character. He alternates between emotionless wisdom and mournful apathy. I admire how his knees don’t buckle under the weight of his grief, but how he crumbles at the barest hint of hope. How rage claws at him and, still, he can’t figure out how to make it stick.

I empathise with him. I understand him.

But then, in the distance, Luo Binghe's indifferent voice disturbs the silence, causing me to drop my drink onto the floor and this post onto your screen:

“He’s not my father.”

It’s an interesting exercise, exploring their relationship in reconciliation fics. To see them interact (semi-)honestly, watch them take turns filling up the chasm between them. It’s wonderful. Every fic I’ve read centred around them was a delightful read that I still think about.

However. I cannot see Tianlang-Jun, as I understand him, as Luo Binghe’s father. And not just because of the 3rd Novel’s events.

But because Binghe had hoped for something; he did have that wide-eyed wonder. He did hold one last window open, for the sake of an improbability he couldn’t quite, just yet, dismiss.

It’s what (most) orphaned and/or adopted childred do.

Though Luo Binghe had never said a word about it before, Shen Qingqiu knew that he harbored some fantasies about his birth parents. […] In fact, he’d always secretly fantasized about whether his parents might still be alive, and how well they’d treat him, and how they’d never let him suffer the mildest slight. — Vol. 3, Chapter 17: Tianlang

It is the most human thing; to want to be helped, accepted, invited by those given to you. A family is given to you. Whether you believe it an act of the divine, of nature, of coincidence, it isn’t something you fight for. It’s the first and, arguably, only thing you don’t have to fight for in life.

Depending on a multitude of factors, that can be a blessing or a curse; but where there is room for interpretation, questions left unanswered, most childred—Binghe included—will turn to their imagination, and try to make sense of it. Usually, to comfort themselves, to reassure themselves that surely, if their family could, they would have.

And, yeah. Most likely, if the Palace Master had gotten punted into the Sun like he fucking deserved, they would have. But does it matter?

In the face of a bleak reality, what comfort is a could-have-been?

He liked to call Luo Binghe “that son of mine,” but he didn’t seem to possess any concept of fatherly affection. […] Luo Binghe was in fact…someone who was unloved by even his own parents. — Vol. 3, Chapter 15: Holy Mausoleum

What use are good intentions to an abandoned child? What consolation is it, to say, They gave birth to you, when that child has seen no evidence of their care? Does it dry their tears, that their mother can’t be here, but she surely would have wished to be? That their father would protect them, if only he knew of them?

(And don’t make me tell you about the visceral horror I felt reading the Origins chapter. I’ve yet to make my peace with it. MXTX, Airplane, whoever: you’ve ruined me.)

The washerwoman was and continues to be, to Binghe, his only mother. And I would argue, that’s healthy. Even independent of his other traumas (Abyss, Shizun’s betrayal, Xin Mo’s influence, living on the streets, etc, holy shit Binghe) Luo Binghe will not accept anyone else as his mother.

“Who is this Su Xiyan?” Luo Binghe asked coldly. “My mother was a mere washerwoman.” — Vol. 3, Chapter 18: Origins.

It may seem callous. It probably even is! But it is a healthy line he’d drawn by his own initiative. It’s what helps him, what he feels he needs to do in order to do right by his mother, and his own heart.

And! Tianlang-Jun doesn’t seem to give much of a shit, either!

Won’t, probably, even in the future, once the dust will have settled. He is exhausted, weary with carrying the corpse of his love, the loss of his nephew. Whatever goodwill he shows, it’s a perfunctory sort, because he can’t afford more.

So. Uhh.

Tianlang-Jun is not a character I can love, nor one I can hate. Usually, I can’t help but be inclined to love complex characters. Like them, too—though that’s more of an action-based thing rather than just said character’s personality.

But with Tianlang-Jun, I’m stuck whichever way I turn. If I want to love/like him, I’m drawn back by Binghe’s pain and disappointment. If I try to hate/dislike him, I’m drawn back by his own history and grief.

In conclusion:

I don't know! I'm not really trying to, like, prove anything. I still love the aforementioned TLJ & LBH fics, I still love their dynamic. I started walking and ended up exactly in the same space. This, perhaps, could be considered a Heavenly Demon Family Mobius Strip!

I'm not really trying to say anything. It just… makes me feel conflicted, and angry, and whenever I allow myself to think about it a bit more, sad.

But.

However!

Alas.

Nonetheless, even.

As a reader and—on my better days—a writer, all I can say is:

As promised/threatened: some selected passages, for your reading pleasure:

So, it looked like neither the father nor the cousin had any intention of acknowledging Luo Binghe. — Chapter 15: Holy Mausoleum

He liked to call Luo Binghe “that son of mine,” but he didn’t seem to possess any concept of fatherly affection. — Chapter 15: Holy Mausoleum

Tianlang-Jun lifted his hand, took a look at Luo Binghe’s snow-pale face, and commented indifferently, “He looks like his mother.” “His eyes look like yours,” came a chill voice from the side. — Chapter 15: Holy Mausoleum

The faint hopes and dreams Luo Binghe had held in his heart for many years had been mercilessly pulverized into so much dust. […] [Tianlang-Jun] refused to speak a single word of their relationship and had been utterly ruthless back in the Holy Mausoleum. […] To his parents, Luo Binghe was an unwanted child. — Chapter 18: Origins

“If he was my father, why didn’t he bring it up earlier? Why not tell me?” The most Tianlang-Jun had said was that single line he offered while beating up Luo Binghe, devoid of either praise or criticism: “He looks like his mother.” He looks like his mother. What of it? But that was all. There was nothing more. — Chapter 18: Origins

Luo Binghe was indifferent. “He’s not my father.” […] Luo Binghe shook his head. It was unclear what he was stubbornly clinging to, but he repeated, “He’s not my father.” — Chapter 18: Origins

Luo Binghe raised his smiling face, his eyes shining brightly. “Mother was the kindest person in all the world to me.” — Chapter 19: Shen Jiu