#basically if i have time to do 2 more writing sprints tonight it might be tonight

[raayllum]

new chapter of fanon s6 either tonight / tomorrow at the latest current chapter word count: 4.7k expected word count: 7k

snippet:

It was framed by columns, Deimos touching one with his staff, and then the ceiling unfurled first like a puzzle, then like a flower, the dome’s ceiling retreating to its sides. A dark, wintery sky took its place, wind and snow blowing across the shiny black floor.

Rayla’s warm hand slipped into his. “Callum.”

He turned to her, any jitters in his chest easing as he looked at her, adorably worried as she gnawed on her bottom lip. “I’ll be okay,” he promised.

“You better be, dummy.” She pecked him on the lips, Callum melting into it even as she drew away, snagging the blindfold from his other hand. “Now turn around.”

He couldn’t help but smile a bit as she did so, her tone disarmingly bossy and close to teasing, a more somber, silent mood falling as the fabric covered his eyes and she tied the knot carefully behind him.

“I am going to come back,” he reiterated. “And we’ll free your family. Defeat Aaravos.” A lump formed in his throat at the thought she might still go back to the Silvergrove without him if she was unGhosted, but he also knew—knew in every fibre of his being and his body—that she loved him. Somehow, they’d find a place for both of them. They’d live happily ever after. He’d make sure of it.

[carnationcreation]

Okay so I love your writing and I am such a sucker for sport!readers so I was wondering if you could do one with Carrie? Maybe she comes to support you at a game and like wears your jersey or number or sumtin, please and thank you! also i love you!!

TITLE: The Jersey (Carrie Wilson x reader)

✌🏻Masterlist Taglist, Requests, and Works in progress!

Request: Okay so I love your writing and I am such a sucker for sport!readers so I was wondering if you could do one with Carrie? Maybe she comes to support you at a game and like wears your jersey or number or sumtin, please and thank you! also i love you!!

Prompt/summary:  Carrie is there to support (Y/n) at her state championship.

Word Count: 1,246

Authors note: I”M DOING ANOTHER SOCCER PLAYER READER CAUSE I HAVE PRACTICE LATER!!! ALSO I LOVE YOU TOO!!!! This is basically just fluff cause I love Carrie and she’s underrated

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I really wasn’t expecting her to be there tonight. But I couldn’t be happier that she was.

"Are you coming to my game Friday?"

Carrie sighed and sat down the magazine she was reading, "I'll try. I promise. But the performance at the cafe might hold me up."

"I don't care if you're late, I just want you there afterwards. It's the state championship. I just want my girlfriend there to celebrate my victory or console me over my loss."

Carrie smiled and put her hand on my cheek, "I promise I'll do my best to be there afterwards."

And now she was here. I had just ran out on the field for warm ups when I spotted her in the stands, wearing my old jersey. The smile on my face couldn't be wiped off as I put my gloves on in the goal.

"Isn't that your girl (Y/l/n)?" One of my teammates yelled.

"Yup."

"Oh they're so smug."

"You're just mad you don't have someone there with your jersey on!" I yelled as I shuffled backwards into the goalie box with a smirk on.

After I got over the glee I felt of seeing my girlfriend in the stands cheering me on I finally got into my game mode. Trying to only focus on my teammates and how I could best support them, while also getting so awesome saves in. The team put up a good fight, making some good plays that scored us a goal in the first 10 minutes of the first half. Unfortunately, the opposing team put up a bigger fight, scoring 3 goals by the end of the first half.

By the time half time rolled around I was exhausted, dragging myself into the locker room I noticed my favorite sports drink on my spot.

"With love from your number one fan- xoxo Carrie"

I couldn't help but smile as I chugged the drink and collapsed on the bench.

"They're really hustling you out there, but you're still on your A-game!" my teammate cheered and clapped me on the back.

"It's cause their girl is here," my other teammate smirked.

I only rolled my eyes and finished off my drink. The couch's mid game pep talk lasted up until the timer went off signaling the end of the break and we all did our chant before jogging back onto the field.

"Go (Y/n)!" I heard from the stands.

I turned and blew a big kiss to Carrie, smiling widely as she snapped a photo of me. I figured it would be posted on her instagram later but I couldn't care less right now. I'm still just so glad she's here.

I pushed myself back into my game mode as the whistle blew for the second half. Our team managed to hold on, scoring another goal and bringing the score to 3-2. We might have a chance to tie at least.

Ten minutes left in the second half the other team got a breakaway.

I readied myself as they charged up the field. My teammates were too far behind to catch up and I realized I had to charge them. I sprinted as fast as I could, trying to slide and tackle the ball but the players were too fast. One pass to the outside teammate led to the final goal of the game. The slide I took left an aching pain in my shoulder that didn't go away, even as I walked off the field to the locker room. Tears fell down my face as I tried to take off my goalie gear and into my sweats.

"(Y/l/n)? You okay?" my coach asked.

"I think so, just pulled something in my shoulder on the last slide."

"Oh," he said, "Get some ice on it and rest up, go to the doctor if you have to. If you can't be at practice just let me know."

"Thanks," I shouldered my gym bag and walked out.

"(Y/n)! Over here!"

I looked out over the crowd of people to see the red head standing over to the left near the gate. She knew I was upset, but didn't say anything as she wrapped her arms around me and let my face hide in her shoulder, "You look good in my jersey."

"It's really warm and it smells like that good body spray you wear all the time. You did so good tonight," she whispered.

"Not really, my shoulder hurts."

She sighed, "Stop being so hard on yourself. I heard the other goalie complimenting your skill. And where does it hurt?"

I pointed to the spot on my shoulder where the pain was emanating from and she looked at it with a concerned look on her face, "I think you just pulled a muscle, lets get you back to my place and we'll put something on it okay?"

"Can we get some food somewhere?"

She smiled and pushed some hair out of my face, "Of course baby."

She grabbed my hand and lead me out to the car.

"I'm really glad you came," I said as I kissed the back of her hand.

"The performance got canceled so I got here as early as I could. I even got to sit with some of the other dates that were here for the team. Why didn't you tell me the games where more fun with them?" she giggled.

I chuckled, "You wouldn't have known if you hadn't come."

"I guess so," she said, "Where do you wanna eat?"

"You pick," I said as I leaned the seat back.

I felt my phone buzz and saw I was getting tagged in comments on instagram.

My wonderful s/o played amazing tonight. Say good job (Y/n)!

I giggled and liked the photo and a few comments that popped up on the post, mostly from her band's fans.

"Remind me to get a good photo of us together after a game next time," Carrie said.

"Yeah baby."

Carrie pulled through the drive through before starting the drive back to her place. I must've fallen asleep at some point cause when I woke up Carrie was beside me slightly shaking me awake, "Let's go sleepyhead."

I trudged up the stairs to her room.

"Nope, get in the shower first. You kinda stink."

I smirked and pulled the sweatshirt over my head and threw it at her causing her to giggle.

I was a little more awake after the shower and when I walked out with wet hair Carrie had sat my food on the coffee table.

"I'm proud of you."

"Thank you," I whispered.

"You ready for bed?" she said, rubbing my arm lightly.

"Yes please," I groaned as I climbed into her bed, "I swear this is the softest bed ever."

She giggled, "It's better when we're both in it."

I wiggled my eyebrows at the comment and she hit my shoulder, "Not like that!"

"You made it like that," I smirked.

"I did not! You made it like that."

I shook my head as I pulled her closer and felt Carrie kiss the top of my head.

"Goodnight soccer star."

"Goodnight popstar."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*If you signed up for my taglist but don’t see your name please message me!

Taglist: @thebookwormlife2 @talksoprettyjjx  @coolreallyfuzzystudentuniverse  @igotabadfeelingabouteverything @larrystylinson-sus @lovesanimals @aunicornmademedoit @thexhotmess @ssprayberrythings @registerednursejackie @nicolewithasoul @homealone200 @hemmingsness @persephonequeenofthedead @bookfrog242 @peachyxdream @catieiscute2001 @julieandthephantomsblogduh @fangirling-allday @ashleyleblancx @alltimekp @wcnderwoo @unipanda1006 @disgustedchild @aberette13 @dpaccione @whyworry27 @number-0-iz @musicconversedance @owlgirl1209 @angelxfics @hamdehlesmis ​ @marinettepotterandplagg @idkanymoremansstuff @spooky-season-bitch @chenellearose @voguesir @thegirlwholikestomanythings @mandiscadelinha @crybabyddl @jasm1nesdragons  @daisiesforlacey @khiaraaa-in-spacee @harrys-bitch @bookdealer5 @blue21727 @echocharm17618 @actually-luke-patterson

[susssoo]

Midnight trip to McDonald’s

Pairing: Park Jaehyung and Younghyun Kang

Genre: fluff, college au, late night antics

A/N: I really wanted to write something with just Jae and Brian, so here you go. Enjoy ;)

If Younghyun could ask for anything in the world, right now, it’d be a burger. Specifically from McDonald’s.

It’s an odd request, he knows, but it’s 2 in the morning, he has several deadlines he has to meet before Friday, and he’s freaking the fuck out.

And the only thing that could make him feel better is a burger, from McDonald’s specifically.

And he knows only one person who’d be willing to take him.

Park Jaehyung.

He closes his laptop, and places it to the side. He searches for his phone through a mess of papers spread lazily across his desk, after hours of frustration. But when he finally finds it, he sees it’s only at 12 percent and groans inwardly.

He’ll have to charge it later, because right now he only wants one thing and one thing only.

A burger, and to see his boyfriend.

Okay, so maybe two things.

He goes to his contacts, clicking on Jae’s and pressing call.

After it rings a couple times, someone finally picks up.

“Jaeeeeee~” Younghyun says sweetly over the phone.

“BriBri, It’s 2 in the morning, shouldn’t you be sleeping?” He questions.

“I’m hungry, and I can’t finish this stupid fucking project and I need food and to see you right or I might actually break something.”

There’s silence for a moment, before Jae speaks once again.

“McDonald’s?”

“Please.”

“Okay, I’ll be there in five.” He remarked, Younghyun could hear him over the phone shuffling around, probably searching for his keys and a hoodie.

“Thanks Jae, I love you.”

“I love you too, meet me outside the dormitory.”

After that, the call ended, and Younghyun practically beaming.

He quickly stood up from his chair, nearly falling over as his limbs protested him after being seated for nearly 10 hours.

He ignored it, grabbing his keys and a hoodie and making his way to the front of the campus.

~

Younghyun had been sitting in front of the campus for half an hour and he was beginning to think that Jae had fallen asleep, but not a moment later, a tall, lengthy blonde could be seen sprinting towards him.

Jae immediately engulfed him in a hug, apologizing profusely for being so late.

“I’m so sorry, as I was walking to the front, I saw security so I was basically running around like a fucking mad man trying not to get caught.” He huffed out, wiping the sweat on his forehead away with the back of his free hand, as his other arm was wrapped comfortably around the younger waste.

Younghyun cackled at the elder and his antics.

“Don’t worry about it, at least he didn’t see you, that could’ve been a shit show.”

“You’re telling me, I nearly had a heart attack!” He exclaimed, making gestures with his hand.

The two stood there for a moment, in comfortable silence just enjoying each other’s presence.

“So, McDonald’s?” Jae said, breaking whatever trance the younger had been in.

“Fucking please.”

~

The pair had decided they were going to walk, since Jae had forgotten the keys to his car (typical Jae, but he loved him regardless of his forgetfulness) and Younghyun didn’t even have one at the moment.

They spent the walk talking about nothing in particular, hands eloped in the others, enjoying the frigid night.

“God, You’re such an emotional drunk. Clingy too.” Jae provoked.

Younghyun scoffed, hitting the older on this chest playfully.

“I am not!”

“Really? I specifically remember after Youngjae’s party, you cried the entire way back to campus, and then when we got to my room, you were upset because we didn’t get McDonald’s and then you started crying again, so I had to turn on animal planet until you eventually knocked out. You almost threw Youngjae’s espresso machine at Wonpil!” Jae retorted, before breaking out into bouts of laughter.

“Okay, but that’s because he called me a bottom! I’m not a fucking bottom!” He pouted, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You in bed the other night moaning my name said-“

Younghyun stopped walking, glaring at the older.

Jae threw is arms up, surrendering.

“I mean, no, of course not.”

The younger broke out into toothy grin, and resumed walking once again.

~

Nearly 20 minutes later, they finally arrived a McDonald’s. It was empty, besides the cashier behind the counter, wearing a bored expression. They entered the building, and walked towards the counter to place their orders.

“Hi, welcome to McDonald’s, what can I get for you today?” The employee forced a smile onto their face, but their weary tone betrayed them.

“Hm, can we get two large cups, with two Big Macs and 10 piece McNuggets, with a side of fries.” Younghyun replied, digging into the pockets of his sweatpants for his wallet.

“Sure, will that be all for you?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“Alright, that will be 15,470 won.”

Younghyun handed her his credit card. She took it, swiping through the machine behind the counter and then handing it back to him, with a receipt, and two large cups.

The two walked towards the drink machines, Younghyun filling his cup with a sprite, while Jae got himself an iced tea. They both made their way to a empty table near the back of the restaurant, and sat down across each other.

“Thanks. Honestly, I really needed this.” Younghyun blurted out, looking at the older thankfully.

“You don’t need to thank me Bri, you know I’d do anything for you.” Jae responded, a smile making its way onto his face.

Younghyun grinned, enveloping the others hand into his own.

~

10 minutes later, their food is finally ready. Jae gets up from the table, going to the counter to grab their food.

Younghyun’s mouth is practically watering, hungry would be an understatement of words, he’s ravenous.

Jae sits back down, placing the tray on the table.

He immediately grabs his burger off the tray, quickly unwrapping it, and taking a bite.

The younger leans back in his seat, letting out an unintentional moan.

“It’s so fucking good.” He says, mouth still full of food.

Jae stares at him for a moment, amused, before beginning to eat his own food.

They eat their meals in silence, because when Younghyun is really invested in something, there is no breaking his concentration, and he’s really invested in this burger, as he’s already finished with half of it.

Jae smiles to himself, Younghyun looks so adorable, even with a face full of food.

30 minutes later, Younghyun has finally finished his meal and is now sitting in the booth, half asleep, hunched over the table.

Jae still has half his fries left, but it doesn’t seem like he’ll be able to eat much more as his stomach is practically bulging from his sweatpants.

He looks up at the younger, and sees his current state.

“Yo Bri, you good?” He asks, putting all the trash onto the tray.

“I’m tired, that was really good. It was so good it took all the energy out of me, and now I want to sleep” He murmurs, still hunched over the table.

Jae cackles, before getting up to throw the thrash away.

He walks back over to the table, carding his fingers through Younghyun’s hair.

“Well, we’re about to leave. You want to sleep with me tonight?”

Younghyun only nods, getting up from the booth and lacing his fingers into the elders.

“Okay.”

They leave the restaurant, and begin walking back to the campus in silence. Although he may not say it all the time, but Younghyun truly does adore his boyfriend. And it’s moments like these, that only makes him adore him more.

~

[salty-donut-collecter]

Before Us Stand The Stars

Prompt here~ Gahhhh I’ve been wanting to write more fanfiction 

Trigger warnings: Sneaking out, talk of controlling parents, mentions and descriptions of violence, mentions of jail, stress about college, abuse/ mentions of CPS, kissing, I allude to smexual things

Please don’t be afraid to ask if I need to tag anything else >.<

Word Count: 4,981 holy hecck

Couple of notes: 1) Yes I did give Virgil the last name Strengthson. I hate it just as much as you do xD 2) I am horrible at writing feelings, and I am very very bad at writing fluff which is why I’m trying to branch out with characters I’m familiar with. Feel free to tell me how I did! 3) Logan is p r e t t y out of character I’m ngl. I know, but I tried to make him as human as I could. This also takes place after some possible development through a possible storyline. 4) I am finishing this at 2:08 am and I am very bad at reading so please tell me if I need to tag anything else ;_; thank you :D 5)Also I refer to Janus and Remus as Logan’s datemates, and I hope that’s not an enby or ace exclusive term and I hope I’m not being offensive, I just like the way it sound I’m ngl. Feel free to tell me if I should change it, though !

Sneaking out was not something Logan would have done at the beginning of the school year. The first time he’d done so, he was terrified-- so sure that it wouldn’t work, that he almost caused his own demise. 

However, now it was something he did almost every weekend. Oh, how people can change you. The way adrenaline slips into your mind like a drug... It was surely addictive. However, he didn’t care much now. 

He was silent as he practically scaled his house. It was easy. He knew Janus was down the street in a vehicle, waiting patiently for him. They’d done this so many times before, he, Janus and Remus. It was a wonder he got away with it at all, with parents like his. They practically never let Logan out of their sight. No wonder he hadn’t felt anything real in his life before Freshman year. They’d controlled everything down to his emotions. 

It was “all for Logan’s benefit”, of course. Thanks to them he’d never have to worry about getting into college, or getting a job anywhere. 

As if that made up for anything. 

Once his feet hit the ground, Logan was running. The sprinkler system turned on in two minutes, and if Logan wasn’t at least in the street by then... needless to say, he’d be drenched. 

So, sprint he did. He could feel it again-- that familiar adrenaline that he craved most every day. The feeling of living. It was a tingling feeling this time. Other times, it wasn’t. It was instead a steady seeping; a wild calm that he couldn’t fully describe. 

The tingling was probably because he didn’t breathe a lot when he ran. He didn’t mind, though. Anything was better than staying in that stupid house for another minute-- that bastardised place.  

Much to Logan’s surprise, he actually made it to the street before the sprinklers turned on. He could see Remus’s truck down the way. How Remus managed to sneak out every night with that thing was beyond Logan, but he learned to accept it. 

When he got to Remus’s truck, he was greeted with familiar faces and a... warmth, that Logan always found he was missing without them. 

“Get in loser, we’re going stargazing!” Remus shouted from inside the car. Logan saw Janus wince from behind the wheel. 

Shaking his head fondly, Logan tapped on Remus’s door. The latter opened his window slowly, pretending he didn’t see Logan as he looked around outside for the source of the knock. When his eyes landed on Logan, they went wide, his crazed smile growing into a more relaxed smile-- one he practically had saved just for Logan. 

“Oh, hey nerd. Ya need something?” He asked. The entire scene earned a chuckle from Logan. 

“Tonight, would you be opposed to me riding in the trunk?” Logan asked, “I’ve been meaning to ask for a while and I understand if--”

“Of course you can!” Remus’s smile grew, “Janie, is that alright with you?”

Janus looked up from his phone, clearly not having heard anything either of them had said. He looked to Remus, who, for a moment just grinned. 

“He wants to ride in the trunk.” He finally said. 

The expression on Janus’s face was one that Logan didn’t actually recognise. Remus, however, did. His smile grew as he turned back to Logan. 

“If you take my jacket, you can.” he winked. 

So there Logan was, barbecue sauce on his titties--

I mean, there he was... sitting in the back with Remus’s leather jacket. Ahem. Logan had never sat in a moving truck trunk. It was something he was honestly excited about. 

So when the truck started moving, he tensed, expecting to fly out of the back like a ragdoll despite that being completely illogical and entirely nonsensical. Now, that didn’t stop the feeling of instability, but it did create a new and exciting knot in the pit of his stomach. He was technically breaking two laws a the very least.

Their destination was at least 20 minutes out of town, and if Logan was being honest, it was one of the funnest car rides he’d ever been on. It was perfect, really. The cold, midsummers night air blowing through his hair, the view, the cool smell of the night air blending with the green of the trees. It was something to remember, really. Even if the cold was sinking into his bones, it was the type of chill that sent pleasant shivers through your spine. The kind that you get when you eat something amazing for the first time, or when you feel something cool during a hot day. 

Logan hadn’t told the others, but today had actually been very stressful. He didn’t know if they could tell, but the stress had been piling up for a while. College would be starting soon, and he was expected to get into an Ivy League school, when in reality, he was debating whether or not he wanted to go to college yet or not. His parents expected him to become a doctor or scientist. He didn’t want that at all-- or anything even remotely close to it. 

He wanted to teach, he was finding. He’d actually been tutoring Remus for a while now, as well as his brother, and their friend, Patton. It was something he enjoyed doing very much-- a puzzle he loved solving with them. He also taught Virgil how to study more efficiently-- something that had given them both a big confidence boost in their academics. 

He also loved astronomy and astrology.  Seeing the stars in person was something Logan had secretly wanted to do his entire life. To actually see a nebula in person, or to be among the nebulae? Logan felt his lungs grow tight with exasperating excitement just thinking about it. 

At the thought of nebulae, Logan looked to the sky. He didn’t actually know where Janus and Remus were taking him. He knew they were to be stargazing, but they said there would be something special about it tonight. He’d checked dates for anything big happening in the sky tonight, and he found nothing. So what could it be, he wondered. 

His wondering came to a halt when the car did. They were stopped in a very... peculiar spot. Also known as the ditch. The ditch of an old, abandoned highway. 

Remus got out first, ginormous backpack on with a flashlight in hand. He offered a free hand to Logan, who took it. “Acushla, you should probably put a lot of bug spray on.” Remus grinned that softer grin, and Logan agreed. 

The bug spray was completely unopened, and Logan had no doubt in his mind that Remus had stolen it from Walmart. Things were cheap there, but Walmart was cheap, so he couldn’t care less, really. Applying it didn’t smell nice, either, but it didn’t bother him in the slightest. If it meant he wouldn’t have to deal with bug bites on top of his eczema, then he would be happy to apply a generous amount. 

“C’mon, LoLo Lugbug! Let us adventure-- INtO thE UnKnOwNNN~” Remus pulled Logan along, screeching the chorus of Frozen 2′s most popular song. Of course it was the most popular. Idina Menzel wasn’t anything aside from perfection in her singing the entire time. Of course, Logan would ever admit that he liked the song, but that was just because he knew it was just fuel to Remus and Roman’s relentless teasing. 

Janus was... uncharacteristically quiet during this time, Logan had begun to notice. Normally, he wasn’t a very talkative person, but he’d seemed especially quiet tonight. Perhaps he was tired? The more Logan wondered, the less he paid attention to where he wandered. This lead to multiple complications. 

For one, he stepped in a very large, and rather obvious mud puddle that, no doubt, would endlessly stain his pants. It was almost worthy of many, many tears-- the thought of having to both throw away his favorite jeans and come up with an excuse as to why he did not have them anymore. However, hearing Janus and Remus’s laughter reminded him where he was, and why he was here. 

Ultimately, it made staining his pants more bearable. Besides, he might be able to save them. Or, at least, Janus might. Logan’s “extensive” knowledge in the laundry department was actually basic at best. Tide. Button. Clothes. Wash. Repeat. That was about it, really. He only knew how to iron the collars of his polos, and his occasional tie. Outside of those basic things, there was nothing he could do, really. 

It seemed as though Janus had been reading Logan’s mind though, because as the former chuckled, he reached out and offered Logan a hand. Once Logan took it, he saw Janus wink. 

“We can swap pants before you go home, and I can have them clean in a couple days, love. How does that sound, hm?” He chuckled once more at the completely smitten look that overcame Logan’s face, albeit without the man’s knowledge.  

“Thank you. Although, you do not have--”

Janus hushed him placing a finger softly over the nerd’s lips. Logan noting the warmth contrasting the cold, and the way Janus’s ungloved finger brushed his nose ever so gently. “It’s no trouble, Logan. Laundry is nothing for me to cry or whine about, especially when I get to do some for such a wonderfully handsome fellow.”

Logan just nodded, unable to come up with a better response-- something he’d been trying to be okay with more and more often. Before he’d met Janus, behavior like this would have practically been forbidden, and he would have surely responded with something among the lines of ‘yes sir’  had this conversation taken place a few months ago. However, he’d been trying to outgrow those unneeded responses, and it seems he’d been doing well, based off how many times Remus and Janus had’t scolded him for saying such things. In fact, he couldn’t remember the last time they had. 

The second incident was not nearly as saddening for Logan. Instead, it was more or less concerning for Janus and Remus. 

See, neither Janus, nor Remus, had been having particularly ‘good’ weeks. Of course, incident wise, they were doing splendidly. However, looking back, they would much rather have had more frequent, less consequential incidents, than the few more consequential incidents.

Remus hadn’t liked spending a night in jail, only for Roman and Janus to pool together enough money to get him out. Sure, he’d been in jail before for a number of different things. Never for getting into a fight, though. He’d never stuck around long enough to meet the cops before. Thankfully, to everyone else it was deemed an ‘isolated incident’. Even if it was far from true, Remus was surprisingly happy to hear that there wouldn’t be charges pressed, and that there wouldn’t be a court case. God knows he couldn’t afford one of those. And of course his bullshit parents wouldn’t pay for it either. He wasn’t Roman. He didn’t get that kind of treatment from them. 

Janus hadn’t liked his father smashing three bottles over his head intermittently. He didn’t care for the screaming, the please from his dad, the ultimately useless sobs. He didn’t like the CPS letter that was proudly displayed on the fridge that had come from the state, telling his entire family that his father was there to stay, and permanently. He didn’t like that there was no in between and no constant in this stupid household, nor did he like spending half of his college fund on Remus’s bail-- even if he would have spent all of it to get him out of there any day Remus asked. 

Neither of them liked the sit down their teachers had had with them, telling them that they would be separated in class until their grades got higher. They especially hated the way only one teacher listened when they said that separating them would only hinder them. 

Needless to say, everyone needed this night. Everyone was tired, and no one wanted to say it. 

That being said, Remus and Janus had no idea of Logan’s stress, and Logan only knew a fraction of their lives outside of school. Let alone anything that had happened that week. It was... a mess at the very least. 

So when Logan spaced out and walked right into a huge puddle... needles to say Janus and Remus were confused. Also concerned. Very concerned. 

“So Logan..” Remus has said, “any thoughts on where we’re going? I know it’s a surprise but~~” He turned, smiling, until he wasn’t anymore. Logan looked... lost, really. Whether he was lost in thought or in general, Remus really couldn’t tell. 

“Uhm, Logan?” Remus stopped walking. “You good over there? You look kinda pale~ And that’s coming from someone who knows Virgil Strengthson.” No response. Logan didn’t even look at Remus as he passed him. It didn’t look like he was really looking at anything, actually. It was as if he could see just fine, but none of it was reaching hs brain, so he was just left looking, wildly. Blindly. 

“Logan?” Janus piped up, stopping as well. “Logan, are you mad at us or something?”

No reply. Their concern grew. Repeat. 

That was, until Remus just yelled. “LOGIE YOU ASHOLEEE~~~ ANSWER US~~” Then, of course, Logan was snapped from whatever trance he’d found himself in, apparently not having heard literally anything they’d said previously. 

“Apologies, what were we talking about?”

Well, they really had no way to answer that, huh?

“Dude, we’ve literally been trying to get your attention for forever. You good?”

Logan seemed to pale at that. Of course, he was doing objectively fine. However, on the terms of his stress he may not be able to truthfully say the same. He also happened to be very bad at lying to these individuals when it came down to it. Still, if he told the objective truth, he should do just fine. 

“Yes, apologies. I was just, ahm, figuratively lost in my thoughts.” Logan offered the most reassuring smile he could, knowing they would see right through it. 

They did, of course, see right through it. However they both figured it was something they could bring back later and talk about at a better time. Trying to talk about it before they got to their destination seemed like a poor choice anyway. 

And so they moved on. It was quiet, but it was comfortable. Remus was quick to fill that silence, though, by talking about his newfound fascination with thick lemon toast. 

At least, until they got to the clearing. 

Logan had just begun to worry about how long they’d been in the woods. They did have to find their way back to Remus’s truck, after all. 

Plus, they’d had no real concept of the time it’d taken so far to hike through the woods, but all the concern surrounding the situation had immediately fallen out of Logan’s interest. 

Never before had Logan see so much and so little in front of him before. Sure, he’d seen pictures of fields, but he had never been to one. Never before had he stood before one of this size, either. It had to be, what, two football fields?

“Is this where you’re taking me?” Logan asked, trying to mask his delightedly breathless tone. 

“It is, actually!” Remus grinned wickedly, grabbing Janus and Logan my their hands as he pulled them, racing towards the middle of the field as fast as he could. 

Logan did his best to hold onto his glasses, while Janus did his best to hang on to his hat. Neither were good at running, but Logan was especially bad at it. He could keep up, but his lungs wouldn’t like it. They already didn’t have enough air as it was, being amazed and all. Not to mention the fact that he’d already done his running for the night.

Time passed by quickly, though, and soon he and Janus were hunched over, breathless, as Remus started laying a large quilt out for the three of them. 

As soon as it was out, Janus collapsed on to it, weakly pulling out his emergency inhaler. Logan didn’t know Janus used an inhaler. Did Remus? Surely he wouldn’t have forced Janus to sprint that far if he had. Logan knew Remus, and while he was... eccentric, at times, he knew Remus to be no monster. 

Still, Logan wondered. Remus and Janus were close enough. Perhaps it just slipped his mind? Logan let the thought slip his own mind as he too, layed down comfortably on the quilt. 

“Coffee?” Remus asked, holding a rather large thermos. Logan groaned, nodding vigorously. 

“And I’ve got Coffee for Janie.” he giggled as Janus gave him a small little thumbs up. “Sorry for the running, by the way. I forgot that y’all can’t really do much of that.”

Logan frowned from where he was on the ground, in pain. “I can run just fine, thank you very much. It just happens to hate me almost as much as I despise it.”

This earned a giggle from his datemates. 

It was then when Remus decided to also lay down, wrapping his arms around Janus and Logan, and forcing them close so they could all snuggle. 

Moments like these were the ones Logan believed he enjoyed the most. They were the little things, of course, but they were the things that really brought them together, he thought. The feeling of warmth, the almost rushed breathing, and the familiarity of it all every time after. It was laying there, in each others company, not in a rush to say or do anything. And it was beautiful, in Logan’s mind. 

He was sure the others would agree. He went to ask them, actually, but that was when he opened his eyes, adn saw they sky. 

“What--” Logan choked a hand flying up to his mouth as he struggled to find his breath, and his words. 

His eyes had adjusted to the dark, and never before, had he seen so much night sky before. Not in person, anyways. Sure, you could look in awe at pictures off the internet, but it was never as real as going and seeing it yourself. It was nothing like this. 

Faintly, every so faintly, Logan could see the different nebulae, sprinkled across the vast sky before him. He could see the universe, and how so much of it existed-- right here, in front of him!

Growing up in a city, for Logan, meant he couldn’t see things like this. He had never, in fact, seen this many stars before in his life. Always had he been told about them--been told he could be among them someday, but he’d never thought it’d really happen. Light pollution was everywhere and...

“The milky way is beautiful.” Logan whispered. 

Remus hugged Logan tighter, as if trying to pull him closer if he could.

 “We thought you might like it.” Janus spoke up, taking Logan’s hand in his own. It wasn’t too often Logan saw Janus without his gloves. The heat from Janus’s hands brought with it a comfort Logan hadn’t even known he needed. 

“Stumbled upon this place a few weeks ago while trying to find a place to have a quick fuck.” Remus chuckled when Logan squirmed ever so slightly, smiling that softer, mushier smile that he saved just for these two. “And we totally made a promise to bring you here ASAP.” He remarked, softer this time. 

“So what do you think, hm? Did we do a good job?” Janus spoke up, laying his head on Remus’s chest so he could see Logan too. 

In all honesty, Logan could only say yes. Only, he couldn’t. His throat felt sore, and he could tell he was going to cry, It’s just-- he felt. It wasn’t something he’d feel often, but he knew it, that familiar swell in his chest. It sent small tingles down his spine, and forced open the floodgates that kept his emotions at bay. 

Or, in short, Logan was malfunctioning. Short circuiting, if you will. 

“I-- I don’t know what to say.” He smiled, widley, the way he always did with these two, “thank you.” Was what he decided on. he hugged Remus and Janus close in his moment of emotional vulnerability. He wasn’t Patton. He refused to believe that such trivial things would cause him to cry. 

Then again, being as love-starved as Logan had been... you couldn’t say it was surprising. 

Eventually, things died back down, and became a lot more casual. It was less like a professional ‘date’, and more like any other time they’d decided to spend time together. Logan went on about astronomy and astrology, infodumping and and all knowledge he had on the topic of space, and the others listened. Remus would add some things here and there, but he was quiet over all. They wanted to take everything Logan said, and absorb it. They wanted to have real conversations with him about his interests-- Remus especially. Logan always contributed to his aquatic infodumps, so it was the least Remus could do. 

Besides, there was always this.. life to Logan when he talked about space, and the stars especially. The way his eyes would light up-- as if he’d been told he could live among the stars themselves. His hands would gesture wildly, adding to the conversation where it would. Whether it be by pointing out constellations, or just waving around in general, his hands were always just as excited as he was, instead of lying lifelessly at his sides the way they normally would. 

There was a smile, too. A special smile that always came with Logan’s fascinations. Some would say that’s why his eyes would light up so. Janus saw it differently, though. He’d known Logan before Logan even knew himself, and he knew how differently his eyes and mouth told stories. 

To put it simply, when Logan talked about the stars in their own universe, the corners of Logan’s lips were never downturned. It was a smile he couldn’t hide if he tried-- one that wouldn’t disappear even if he made an error, or forgot where he was going because he was so excited. It was a different side of Logan, truly. Remus and Janus felt privileged to see it. 

But eventually, Logan was sure Janus and Remus were no longer interested in his ramblings. He’d eeb over the majority of his knowledge, and in all honesty, we just wanted to see. So he laid down, and stargazed. 

However, it grew too quiet for his excitement, and for a moment he wondered if this was how Remus felt all the time. Nevertheless, Logan tried to think of something to say. 

“What’s your most precious memory?” He finally asked, much more hushed than he’d intended. How could he be louder, though, when there’s so much to be humbled by before him?

There was a pause, and Logan wondered if either of his datemates had heard him. When he opened his mouth to repeat the question, though, Remus answered. 

“…..Honestly? That time when we sat in that shitty little car park late at night, eating those disgusting chips from the petrol station with the broken sign.” There was that smile again, worn by Remus, who was secretly just as much of a romantic as his brother. Even though he would swear to hell and back that he was definitely not, they all knew he definitely was and that he could never honestly deny such a thing. 

““…..Seriously?” Janus huffed out a small laugh. 

“Why?” Logan followed up. 

There was a pause, and Remus’s smile faded, just ever so slightly. “Because that was the first time I ever saw you smile for real.” He lightly shrugged, “It was something I didn’t know I’d ever get to see, Nerdy Wolverine. You like to keep things all boxed up over there, even with the people who genuinely give a shit about you.” 

Logan squeezed Remus a little tighter. “That’s... fair.” He finally said. “And very sweet of you.” He teased, just a little. Just a tidge. A lil smidgen. A tiny pinch.

There was another break of silence, before Janus spoke up. “I think tonight may be my most precious memory. For a long time, at the very least.” He smiled, sighing contently, “It really is a beautiful night tonight.”

Logan had just recently started dating Remus and Janus. Since establishing their relationship, they had talked through boundaries and interests. What he was thinking about now, though, was how he had yet to even as much as kiss either of them. 

Needless to say, he wanted to change that. 

“If I may,” Logan sat up, and was relieved when Remus and Janus sat up as well, hanging on his every word, as per usual. “I would like to kiss you.” He bit his lip, extremely nervous, “Both of you.” He quickly clarified, realizing he’d just been staring awkwardly at Remus. 

Janus smiled at that, gesturing for Logan to come closer. 

“So are we not going to talk about the fact that he could totally mean he wasn't to try kissing us both at the same time or--” Remus broke off into a fit of giggles when his mouth was covered by Janus’s hand. 

Logan blushed furiously, holding onto all hope that Janus couldn’t tell. Of course, Janus could absolutely tell, but he didn’t mind. Blushy Logan was adorable, and very kissable. 

“I-- Uhm, I have to admit,” Logan started, his breathing picking up as he and Janus got closer, “I haven’t done this before.”

“No shit, LoLo.” Remus giggled. 

“That’s okay, Logan. I’ve got you, okay?” Janus offered a warm smile that gave Logan all the confidence he needed to close that extra distance. 

The first thing Logan noticed was the warmth, then the closeness, the breath, and the taste. It was different, that was for sure. He wondered if kissing Remus would be any different, and how. 

He tried to copied what Janus was doing, and caught on to the pattern quickly enough, and that was that, They were kissing. Nevermind the growing warmth both in Logan’s chest and stomach, he actually kissed someone. He’d never thought he’d want to do that, if he was being honest. Yet here he was, kind of enjoying himself. 

Then alas, breathing became a problem. Logan and Janus pulled apart, and Logan’s blushing problem had definitely not gotten better. Thankfully, Janus was almost matching, in a way. You could never really see Janus’s blush, but ever time Logan had, he’d appreciate the opportunity. That was no acception now. 

“I’m ngl that was extremely hot.” Remus looked between Janus and Logan, giggling when Janus flicked him off. “Now iTs mYyYy TuRnNN tHouGh!” He exclaimed happily, throwing his arms up excitedly, “Unless you’re putting the stop to this kissing business right now. Puttin the big ole’ foot down. Just tell me so.” Remus waited for Logan to respond as patiently as Remus could wait for one of the loves of his life, which could be a surprising amount of time. 

“No no, I still give you my willing-- uhm, enthusiastic consent.” Logan cleared his throat, “ I am just-- not very good at started these sort of endev--”

That was all Remus needed in order to pull Logan close, “One last check?” he pecked Logan on the nose, and the latter nodded. 

That was when Remus’s lips met his. Just like Remus, the kiss was distinctly different. Definitely not the same style Janus had. Not to mention how downright filthy the kiss became once Logan had picked up his style. It was new, all of it, but it was something Logan enjoyed-- something he could finally share with them. 

Again, though, the need for air would arise. When Remus and Logan pulled away, Logan smiled, chuckling as he readjusted his glasses. The feeling in his chest had grown, and he now realized what the feeling had been all along.

Love.

“That was...” Logan just chuckled again, “Adequate. A lot nicer than I expected, if I’m being honest.” 

Remus mocked offense. “Gasp. Did you think I was going to be a bad kisser?” He dramatically threw his hand to his forehead, “Oh, how horrible you must feel being so freaking wrong, I could never.”

Janus couldn’t help but laugh as Remus obviously mocked his brother. He was so accurate... it was almost sad. Funny, but sad. 

“I actually am referring to how I was beginning to think I was asexual.” Logan stated, choosing to look at the ground instead of Remus or Janus. “However, it is not something I believe I have my answer for now.” He smiled to himself as he fiddled lightly with a loose string from the quilt. 

“Logan is this you telling us that you’re horny right now?” Remus cackled, delighted when Janus and Logan both joined in on the laughter. 

“That is one way you could put it, yes.” He forced out, “But I don’t want to take things any farther tonight, I don’t think.” he winked at Remus, who just about died on the spot. 

And the night went on. They talked, probably kissed, maybe did more, did nothing, and talked about everything until the coffee and tea were gone, and Remus’s 4:30 am alarm went off. 

“Happy Monday!” He announced, earning a laugh from a deliriously sleep deprived Logan. 

Then, they went back to the truck. They laughed, joked, and talked about all the stupid shit teenagers talk about. And for a moment, for that night of their lives, the stress melted away. They forgot about all the strifes of life, and they just let themselves be. 

They were happy, if only for a night. A night, that would stay with them for a long, long time. 

End.

[highfivecalum]

Cocky

since i have super bad writers block i decided to write a lil frat!cal :))) if requested i’ll do a part 2 (even if not requested i probably will anyway??)

Pairings: Fratboy!Calum and Y/N

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of alcohol, mild smut

not my gif credit to whoever made it sry

-

You woke up, groggy, with a pounding head, and no remembrance of the night before or whose bed you were in. You groaned quietly and flipped your body over to reveal the man you had sex with the night before. Your eyes couldn’t have gotten any wider than they were. The guy you swore you would never give in to and have sex with. The guy you tried to tell yourself that you despised, but found yourself taking a liking to since he was just so attractive. The guy who could be considered as one of the biggest manwhores at your university.

Calum Hood.

“Fuck.” You cursed under your breath and quickly got up, trying to find all of your clothes that were dispersed around Calum’s room. You found your bra, dress, and wedges, but there was no sign of your underwear. Fuck it, you thought. You wanted to leave before he woke up. You were lucky that you snuck out of the huge frat house without getting lost or caught doing the walk-of-shame.

You were thankful that your one class for the day didn’t start until 10 which gave you approximately an hour to do the walk-of-shame home from the frat house, get dressed, and get a coffee before your Literature class started. However, you weren’t thankful, though, that Calum was in that class with you. You prayed to God that he would oversleep and not make it to class so you didn’t have to face him.

Trying to sneak into your apartment without being seen by your roommate/best friend, you shut the door quietly behind you and exhaled a sigh of relief. You couldn’t wait to change and take last nights makeup off.

“Well, well, well.” You were caught red handed and you cursed, again, under your breath. You looked up to see your best friend, Stephanie, standing there with a knowing smirk on her face. “Look what we have here.”

“Don’t start.” You pointed a finger at her and made a beeline for the bathroom. You hoped she wouldn’t interrogate you about your night.

“Where’ve you been, ya little hoe?” You knew she was joking, but you ignored her and continued to get ready. Reapplying your makeup lightly and brushing your teeth before pushing past her and changing: you dressed yourself in a pair of leggings and a cropped sweater and called it a day. “Fine, fine, don’t tell me now, but I expect all of the dirty details later”

“Yeah, yeah.” You rolled your eyes and slung your purse over your shoulder, Stephanie slapping your ass on the way out of your apartment, you flicked her off before slamming the door shut and speed walking to campus. Your apartment was only a few minutes away, so there was really no point in driving and wasting gas and time trying to find a parking spot.

You tried to ignore the pounding headache you had as you impatiently waited in line at the campus coffee shop, but your patience was wearing thing, and you needed coffee ASAP if you were going to sit through this three hour class. Or else you might just die. You knew that was being a bit dramatic, but your Lit class was so boring and your professor did nothing to make it any more interesting.

You finally got to your class and settled into the seat you normally sat in, exhaling a sigh, happy that you weren’t late. “Hey, Y/N.” Dylan, the guy who always sits next to you in class, greeted you happily. You offered him a small smile and turned your attention to your phone. You were texting Stephanie about your night- since she wouldn’t stop bothering you about it- when you heard the oh so familiar voice of Calum Hood.

“You mind?” He looked at Dylan expectantly.

“What?” Dylan blinked.

“You mind moving?”

“But, I-I sit here everyday?”

“And? Does it look like I care?”

Dylan didn’t argue any further and packed his stuff up, moving to a vacant seat far away from you. You glared angrily at Calum as he cockily sat down in the now empty seat next to you.

“What the hell, Calum? You can’t just do that!”

“I can do whatever I want.” Calum rolled his eyes. He leaned into you, impossibly close, and whispered against your ear. “I was sad to see that you weren’t still naked in my bed this morning when I woke up.”

You tried to hide the goosebumps that rose on your skin, but Calum noticed and smirked. He had that effect on every girl he got close to not excluding you. And you hated it. “Why would I have stayed?”

“I figured you would want a round 3 after I found your panties on the floor.”

Your head snapped up and you looked at him with wide eyes. He reached into his back pocket and retrieved the black lace thong that you had been wearing the night before. “Calum!” You whisper-yelled and grabbed them out of his hand, looking around, hoping and praying to God that nobody saw. “What is wrong with you?”

“Oh, c’mon, Y/N. Don’t pretend that you didn’t have a good time.” Once again, he whispered seductively in your ear. “Don’t pretend like the 5 orgasms I gave you weren’t the best you’ve ever had.”

You clenched your thighs together, trying not to show how affected you were by his words, and tried to forget about how good he made you feel last night, and Calum noticed, his signature cocky smirk returning.

“That’s what I thought.”

Ignoring Calum for the duration of three hours was complete and utter torture. Once your professor dismissed you, you all but sprinted to the door and continued to ignore Calum as he yelled your name down the crowded halls, of course drawing attention to you that you didn’t want.

It absolutely didn’t help that Calum was good friends with one of your other friends, Luke, and ended up at the same diner you were meeting your friends at. Apparently, Luke had invited Calum without informing anybody, and nobody cared. Except you, of course, but you didn’t want to tell your friends, because then they would question you. And you didn’t want to disclose to them that you had sex with Calum Hood just less than fourteen hours before.

“You can’t ignore me forever, Y/N.” Calum spoke in your ear as you walked side by side to the diner. You rolled your eyes and pretended that you didn’t know the was walking right next to you. You were trying your hardest not to give into him- again.

“Y/N!” Luke happily greeted you with a hug and a kiss on the cheek and you could see Calum out of the corner of your eye, jaw and fists clenched.

Was he jealous? He couldn’t be. Not possible. Calum doesn’t get jealous over girls. He doesn’t have feelings when it comes to girls. He just likes to fuck them and dump them. Not date them.

“Hey guys,” you patted the top of Stephanie’s head and hugged Ashton, her boyfriend, and your other friend, Michael. “I’m actually not staying. Gotta go catch up on some homework.” Lie.

Everybody frowned and Luke protested, but you assured them you would meet up with them later after you had showered and taken a nap. Calum tried to follow you, but you told him to fuck off, and left without another word. You knew if you kept talking to him you would end up in his bed again and that was not something that you wanted to happened.

-

It had been two weeks. Two long weeks since you and Calum had sex and he hadn’t given up since. You were surprised, impressed, really, that he hadn’t moved on to the next girl that was waiting to fuck him. He was determined, to say the least, and you had done a good job at avoiding him. Until the night of the party. 

You had been dragged to the frat party by Stephanie and Ashton against your will. You really didn’t want to go, but there was no room for arguing with them, they were stubborn and wouldn’t take no as an answer. Right as you walked in the door Luke was shoving a red SOLO cup in your hands and you were chugging it down with no questions asked. You knew you would need a buzz in order to get through the night.

The party was in full force and you and your friend group was where you usually were during these frat parties; the kitchen. You were sat on the counter, Luke between your legs, your hands playing with his hair, as you laughed loudly as something Stephanie said. You had felt Calum’s eyes on you all night, but you pretended you didn’t notice, and tried, basically forced yourself, not to look at him.

Luke announced he had to take a piss and walked away quickly with his drink. His body was replaced with Calum’s, this time his body facing you, with the signature cocky smirk on his face. You rolled your eyes and sipped your drink.

“What do you want, Calum?” His hands slowly inched up your thighs and under your dress, dangerously close to your underwear. You narrowed your eyes at him. “Calum.”

“You look insanely sexy tonight. This dress showing your curves off in all the right ways, makes me just wanna bend you over the counter and fuck you right here.” His breath fanned against your ear and you bit your lip, trying to cover the gasp that escaped your mouth.

It was hard to resist Calum, with him being so attractive and confident and cocky. You thought back to the night the two of you hooked up and couldn’t stop yourself from thinking about his lips on your skin. How good he made you feel. How no other guy you had been with could even compare to the wondrous Calum Hood. 

You crumbled and gave in. You had to have him again, so you finally looked down at Calum, eyes locking, and you bit your lip harder. His smirk widened and he had a knowing look on his face. He knew he got to you. He knew he was going to have you in his bed again. And surprisingly, neither of you were mad about it.

“I gotta pee.” You announced to your friend group before shoving Calum away and hopping off the counter. They all had knowing looks on their faces as they watched the interaction between you and Calum. They knew you didn’t have to pee, it didn’t take a genius to figure that one out.

“Yeah right.” Michael snorted, speaking what everybody else was thinking. “Have fun you two.” He tapped your butt lightly as he passed him and you rolled your eyes, not bothering to give him a reaction.

Calum followed you closely, feeling his hands on your lower back and his breath on your neck. At this point you couldn’t wait to be under him.

Calum’s door slamming shut behind you, he wasted no time in pushing you against it, and attaching his lips to yours. “Jump.” Calum mumbled into your mouth, grabbing the back of your thighs, and lifting you up.

Calum’s hand unexpectedly dipped into your underwear emitting a gasp from you, moaning into his mouth, you felt his cock press against your leg, exciting you even more than you already were. “Fuck, Calum.”

At the sound of your moans Calum was throwing you onto his bed and crawling on top of you. Your dress and his clothes were thrown carelessly across his room and his lips were on your skin, teasing you, driving you absolutely crazy.

“Stop teasing.”

Calum’s dark eyes bore into yours as he slid your thong down your legs, taking his bottom lip between his teeth, and smirking at how wet your already were. Without warning his lips were on your clit and you gasped loudly, moaning Calum’s name.

There was already a tent pitched in his pants at the sight of you walking into his fraternity house hours ago and now he was incredibly hard at the sight of you squirming under him and moaning his name as he made you cum with his mouth. He knew he wouldn’t last long.

“Fuck, Calum.”

“You like that?” You couldn’t speak, only moaned in response, and Calum took that as his cue to reattach his lips to your clit, flicking his tongue until you came all over his mouth. Which, at the sight and the taste of you, almost made him cum in his pants right there.

“I need you. Now.” Were the only words Calum needed to slide into you and fuck you into oblivion.

It was, in that moment, Calum decided that he didn’t want this to be a one (or two) time thing. It wasn’t going to be. He wanted all of you, all the time, and that scared the shit out of him. He never felt that way, about any girl he’s ever been inside, and he wasn’t sure why out of every girl, it was you he wanted more than just sex with.

Maybe it was the way you put up a fight, the way you didn’t throw yourself at him constantly, the way you acted as if you didn’t give one shit about him- even though you secretly did. He was intrigued and it had him wanting to know more about you. Wanting to know everything about you.

“Wow.” You breathed out and laughed lightly. You rolled out of his bed and slid your panties up your legs before throwing your dress back on. Calum watched your every move, admiring your naked body that was glistening with sweat- yours and his. “That was nice.”

Calum looked amused and propped his head up on his hand. “Just nice?” He didn’t have to ask. He knew it was one hundred percent better than just nice.

“Alright, it was fucking nice.”

He laughed and patted his bed for you to sit down. You were hesitant at first. You weren’t sure why he wasn’t kicking you out and going back to his party, like he usually did, you weren’t sure why he wasn’t acting like the usual Calum who just fucks and dumps. It made you curious. So you sat down, leaving enough room between the two of you so that you weren’t touching.

“I, uhh, I have to tell you something.” Calum was nervous and you could tell. You hadn’t ever seen him nervous before, so it surprised you.

You furrowed you eyebrows and nodded your head slowly. Why was he acting so weird? “What’s up?”

Calum sat up fully, thankfully having put underwear on just before, and inhaled a breath. God he was nervous, anxious even. He had never had to admit his feelings to a girl. This was all new to him. And this Calum, was all new to you. “I like you. Like, like you. Not just for sex and not just as a friend, either.”

“Oh?” Your eyes widened and you couldn’t help but smile. You would never admit it, but you too, had a crush on him. It was just a grade school crush, really, nothing serious, but hearing him say that he liked you made you happy in a way that you couldn’t describe. “Since when?”

“Since, like.. I dunno- a year?”

“A year? Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

Calum just shrugged, ingnoring your question, and continuing to speak. He didn’t want to tell you that he was too scared to admit his feelings, that he was scared you would reject him, since no girl has ever rejected him, he was just flat out scared. And Calum was never scared. “Can I take you on a date?”

“Seriously?” You furrowed your eyebrows.

“Yeah. Seriously.”

“I-I don’t know, Calum.”

“C’mon, Y/N. I know I have a reputation and I’ve slept with a lot of girls-“

“And broken their hearts.” You reminded him.

“Yeah, that too, but it’s different with you.”

“Why is it different? How am I any different than any other girl you’ve had drunken sex with?”

“I don’t know it just is, okay? I’ve taken a liking to you since the first class we had together last year and I can’t explain it, you’re just... different. Can you please just give me a chance? One chance? I won’t let you down. I promise. And if I do, you can- you can punch me in the face.”

“I’ll be doing  more than just punching you in the face.” You assured him. Calum laughed and nodded his head in understanding.  “But yeah, sure, you can take me on a date. But you better impress me.”

Calum’s eyes lit up, smile so wide his white teeth could’ve blinded you, and he didn’t hesitate to smash his lips against yours. You weren’t sure if this would end well, but you knew you wanted to give it a chance, and if you got your heart broken; well then you were just going to have to deal with that later.

[elsaclack]

Hi :) This might sound weird haha but I adore reading you talk about your writing, it's really inspiring and I feel like I learn a lot of things every time I read you talk about it (you know I'm a fan of your style haha). And anyways while I was reading your answer to your last anon, this struck me: "when i was outlining that chapter i think the only line i dedicated to the actual fight itself was “and then they have a crazy knife fight (good luck future me)”" and I wanted to ask you (1/2?)

(2/3?) do you have like any tips for writing a multichapters fic? I guess from what you wrote here you outline the whole thing before you start with it? Or it depends or the story and sometimes you just go with the flow and see where it goes haha? Do you mind sharing some of your writing process of multichapter fics? :3 Bc I tend to get "bored" really easily and if I don't finish something in one sitting I usually never ever finish it. But also I'd like to learn how to take my time sometimes

(3/3) and idk maybe learning how to properly "get ready" to write something long would help haha. I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense at all but yeah in any case just thank you for blessing my nights with your fics and killing me over and over with feels, I'm sure I said it before but you (and all of the amazing writers this fandom is blessed with) are a true inspiration!!!

you are SO sweet to me i die fhflkdsjf

i’m gonna go ahead and throw 100% of my answer under the cut because i haven’t even started yet and i know this is about to be. So Long. i am sorry in advance lmao

there are a couple of different aspects to this ask that i want to touch on so i will be as brief as possible but as i have proven twice over tonight alone, i am really not capable of that lmfao

i’d say first and foremost, the biggest thing you can do to help yourself in this arena is figure out how to best discipline yourself. which SUCKS it’s like the worst most mom answer ever but in all honesty, developing discipline in writing is what separates the “i could write a book” people from the people who actually do write books. everyone is capable of writing, but not everyone has the discipline or patience to do so. long-form narrative requires even MORE discipline than a one-shot (or even a long one-shot) because it’s like you said, it requires the author to come back over and over and over again to write new material and edit existing material and figure out a way to cohesively connect everything they’ve written into one consistent narrative, and some people have a much harder time with that than others do. there’s nothing wrong with that either way!! the world needs short stories just as much as it needs longer stories. but if you’re wanting to work on writing longer-form narratives, working out a way to best discipline yourself should probably be your number-one goal.

that kind of brings me to my next point (and also ties in part of what i was talking about in that other ask) - comparing your writing style, your progress, your everything to other writers will only lead to heartache for you. when i first started reading and writing for b99 i came across a specific author (who is now one of my dear friends) whose fics were just. next-level works of art. and while i read through just about everything she’d written for b99 and LOVED every single one of them, i found myself getting more and more down on my own writing, because i knew i’d never be able to write like her. but the more comfortable and confident i got in my own writing, the more i realized that it’s less about writing more like That Person and more about developing my own style (my favorite comparison to make between my writing and hers now is that hers are like beautiful and intricate fairy tales, and mine are more of a smokey back room at a bar where a guy is sitting alone at a table and he says “come here and listen to this story.” they’re both Very Different, and perhaps have varying audiences, but one is not inherently Better Or Worse than the other). all of this to say, if you’re working as hard as you can and being really disciplined but still find yourself struggling with writing a multichap, THAT���S OKAY!!! there’s NOTHING wrong with that!!! your writing, however short or long, serves an INCREDIBLY important purpose within the fandom as a whole and no matter what, there will ALWAYS be an audience for your writing.

so okay as for the actual Advice!!! i actually have a couple of steps that i usually follow prior to actually Writing the first chapter of any long fic i’ve written (or am in the process of writing...@king and lionheart yikes). i have yet to really find any consistency in how i think of ideas for multichaps - so far the idea every multichap i’ve written has come from a different source (which is actually kind of Frustrating for reasons i won’t get into). but basically once i actually have An Idea, i’ll take a day or two to kind of think it over and flesh it out as much as possible. if it really starts expanding in detail and an actual Story constructs itself around the idea, i’ll move on to the next step, which is to find a few trusted mutuals here on tungle.corn and say “heyyYYY CAN I YELL ABOUT AN IDEA I HAVE FOR A SECOND” and then spill everything i’ve thought of so far. usually i can tell if an idea will live or die based on these conversations - if the other person is Into It and we start sort of developing the world within the chat, i know it’s time to really sit down and make an effort to pursue the fic. in that case, i will go and copy&paste that part of our chat into a google doc and i’ll build an outline in a separate doc. i used to despise outlines and i would refuse to do them in high school, but once i got into writing as a hobby and i started pursuing longer narrative forms, i tried once or twice to write a multichap without an outline and i just forgot a lot of the details i originally wanted to include, which left me feeling really frustrated with myself and with my writing. i came to realize that outlines kind of a necessary evil, so in writing them i made them as fun for me as possible (i.e. the “good luck future me” line from the king and lionheart outline i mentioned lmao). now i love them and i have them open at all times while i’m working on writing a new chapter.

so i know that i started this off by saying that writing multichaps requires a special kind of discipline, and i stand by that, but also...writer’s block and real life responsibility and just plain exhaustion are all Very Real Things, and they take precedent over keeping up with a publishing schedule (if you’re so inclined to make one of those for yourself). when i started writing king and lionheart, i didn’t know at that point that i would be headed back to school in the spring, and thought that i would have all the time in the world to write. right around november, i realized that i would be going back to school - that’s about the time i took an unofficial hiatus from writing king and lionheart, because i knew trying to keep up with writing that fic the way that i want it to be written and all of the intensive and demanding coursework was going to kill me. taking a step back from posting and coming back to it later is okay. i know i talk a lot about feeling guilty for not having an update for king and lionheart (and the cancer au before it) but in all honesty i know that it’s okay for me to take some time and deal with my real life. and, you know, it’s also okay to lose inspiration for a while and to take a step back until that inspiration comes back. i think it’s that fear of not being able to take longer breaks between updates that scares a lot of people off from even trying to write a multichap - as the queen of procrastination, i am here to tell you that it is 100% okay to start a multichap and to take a break and come back to it when necessary!

writing a multichap is very much like running a marathon - it requires a different kind of energy than a 400 meter sprint or a 1k fluffy oneshot. it’s gonna hurt and it’s gonna suck and there are gonna be times when you’re ready to just quit writing altogether. but there will be parts that are really fun and really easy and you’re gonna get some really great views along the way - and at the end when you cross that finish line and you’re able to check that “complete” box on ao3 before you post the last chapter, you won’t remember the parts that sucked. trust me!! i wouldn’t write as many as i do if the actual shitty parts of the writing process negated the good things that come from writing it and sharing it with other people!

it’s also worth noting that just because you get bored with an idea doesn’t mean that you can’t pick it up again later!!! honestly the first 2 or 3 paragraphs of on your heart like a tattoo sat in my google docs for MONTHS before i randomly decided one day to open it and take a crack at finishing it, and to this DAY i’m still getting people regularly commenting on it. every idea has its purpose and its place, even if it doesn’t always immediately seem like it.

i really hope this helps and i’m sorry if it doesn’t!!! you are such a kind and wonderful person and i absolutely adore you

[finn-nelson-for-the-win]

Before the World Stops Turning: Pt. 10

Hello my lovelies! Alas, after about 2 long months, this story has finally reached its conclusion. I’m beyond excited for you all to see how the events of this chapter unfold, so without further ado…

Everything I’ve written can be found right here!

I hope you enjoy this chapter! (Keep an eye out for my final additional notes/random commentary about this chapter and the story overall at the end beneath the tags!)

***

Finn sat with his back against the wall of the venue distractedly watching the stage crew and members of the different bands performing tonight as they unpacked equipment and instruments from the back of one of the white vans in the parking lot in front of him.

Despite Finn’s apparent confidence when it came to actually performing on stage in front of large crowds of people, the hours leading up to each show left Finn a nervous wreck and when it got bad enough, he had a tendency to chain-smoke to help calm some of his pre-show jitters.

Finn lit up his fourth consecutive cigarette since he managed to break away from the rest of the band after they arrived at the venue in Danny’s van and pulled the small, leather-bound notebook from the pocket of his jacket that was draped over one of his legs.

When Finn was inspired, he always found that song lyrics and writing music came naturally to him; however, this summer he has been suffering from the worst case of writer's block he had ever experienced. As he read over the most recent lyric idea he had come up with after more difficulty that he would care to admit, Finn tried to draw inspiration for a new song or find a way to make that line fit with one of the various other songs he started but would likely never be able to finish.

We may be young and making dumb mistakes,

But we’re still learning the reasons why.

Just living life before the worlds stops turning…

Finn snapped his head upright and looked up from his notebook when he heard the rear door to the venue swing open and he saw Archie and Chop exit and walk along the wall of the building before sinking down to the sidewalk on either side of where Finn was sitting.

“Where are Alex and Danny?” Finn asked as he closed the leather notebook and returned it to the pocket of his leather jacket before flicking his cigarette butt into the small pile forming on the ground in front of him.

“Sound checking the instruments to make sure everything is sounding good. They sent us out to check on you because they said that you’ve been in a mood all day”

“I’m fine, Arch. Just amazed that the whole summer is basically over...it wasn’t at all what I thought it would be.”

“You did write and record a lot of music though! That’s really good, mate!” Chop said with a wide smile and reassuring nod.

“Yeah, I guess so…” Finn trailed off as he began examining his fingernails closely to give him something else to focus on.

Chop leaned over and pat Finn on the back as a comforting gesture before standing up from his seated position and walking back into the venue through the door beside them.

“Have you heard from Rae at all this summer?” Archie asked quietly to help fill the silence that was hanging in the air between him and Finn.

“No...ever since I lost my phone and had to get a new one with a new number, I didn’t have my contacts saved or anything so she didn’t have my new number and I didn’t know her number to reach out to her instead…”

“What about on social media? Did she try to reach out to you at all on there?”

“She might’ve, but it’s not like I would have even been able to see any messages she sent. After I lost my phone, my social media account got locked and I’ve been emailing support back and forth for the last month trying to get access of my account again, but nothing they’ve recommended has worked so far,” Finn explained with a mildly annoyed huff.

“Wow...that’s awful. I’m sorry, Finn.”

“S’alright,” Finn replied with a shrug and a sad smile.

“She might show up tonight, ya know? Both her and her mate seemed to be fans of our music...and from what I’ve seen and heard, Rae certainly seems to be quite the fan of you too”

“Hah! That’s unlikely...even if she did like me before this summer, she probably thinks I’ve been ignoring her texts and messages for the last month, which does not bode well for me at all if I’m trying to get her to like me back”

“You never know…” Archie added with a smirk which caused Finn to roll his eyes and chuckle lightly in response.

Finn looked up when he heard the distinct sounds of Chop’s laughter as he walked back out of the venue followed by Danny and Alex.

“Oi, are you two going to just sit around and chat all day or can you get off your arses and actually help the rest of us get set up for the show tonight?” Alex joked as the three of them walked past Finn and Archie towards where their band van was parked.

Archie quickly stood up and extended a hand to help Finn stand as well and the pair hurried towards the band’s van to help the others carry boxes of CDs and merchandise they were going to be selling at their merch table after the show. Even after unpacking and organizing the contents of their boxes on the table that they would be selling their items at after their performance, the combined effort of all five of them was more than enough to help them finish what they needed to do prior to the show in record time.

Since they had a significant amount of time to waste prior to when the doors for the show opened and they had to get ready to go on stage, the entire band decided to walk to a small shop down the road from the venue they were performing at to buy some drinks and snacks.

As they made their way back to the venue with their chosen sodas, bottles of water, and bags of crisps or candies Finn noticed that in that short time a significant amount of people had gathered in a line that wrapped around the venue leading to the entrance. Alex began walking ahead of the others and sprinted over to someone that was standing towards the middle of the line of concert goers waiting for the doors of the venue to be opened.

“Well if it isn’t my favorite physical therapy student! How is the ankle doing, Izzie?”

Finn overheard what Alex said as he walked nearer and looked over at them just in time to lock eyes with Rae, who looked just as surprised to see Finn as he was to see her. Finn did not break eye contact with Rae for a few long moments until Archie nudged his side with his elbow and Finn broke his stare to lift a hand and wave at Rae tentatively.

Rae returned the wave and gave Finn a quick smile before turning away from him to resume the conversation she had been having with her mate before Alex had interrupted.

Finn remained quiet as he kept walking and he soon noticed that Alex had caught back up with them as they entered the venue through the back entrance.

“Uhm, hey…” Finn began hesitantly as he tried to think of the best way to initiate this conversation, “so what was all that about and how do you know Rae’s mate, Izzie, so well?”

“She’s my first physical therapy student that I’ve had since I took the job full-time this summer!” Alex replied with a scoff as if to imply that the answer should have been obvious.

“Really? Why is she in physical therapy?” Archie asked before Finn had the chance to ask the same question.

“She got pretty badly injured during a dance performance at the end of the semester. It was actually the reason why she and Rae weren’t at our last show!”

“Our show back in May? What do you mean?” Finn asked with a look of confusion obvious on his face.

“Yeah! Izzie told me that Rae refused to leave her alone and she sat by her side in the hospital for hours while they examined her injury. She got injured the same day as our show, so the two of them had to miss it.”

“And you know all of this because..?” Archie asked as he rejoined their conversation.

“Izzie and I talk a lot about during our sessions,” Alex shrugged in reply.

Finn’s initial confusion had passed and as Alex’s words started to sink in, a sudden realization caused a wave of annoyance to wash over Finn.

“Hmmm, I see...And not once in the last two months have you thought to tell me that you have a decently close friendship with the best mate of the girl that I’ve been losing my mind over for the entire summer...Am I understanding this whole situation correctly, Alex?”

“I dunno, mate...I didn’t think about it, I guess.”

Finn nodded silently and walked away to join Chop and Danny where they were currently sitting beside the stage and watching the concert goers shuffle into the venue and fill the crowd in front of the stage.

“Look, Finn...it wasn’t like I didn’t try to figure out what happened. I know that Rae is special to you mate, but Izzie and I both thought it would be best for you two to work it out yourselves. I really am sorry that I didn’t tell you about all this sooner. Are we alright, buddy?”

The joking tone that was almost always present in Alex’s voice was absent for the first time that Finn could recall and as he looked up at his band mate, it was not hard to see the sincerity of his apology.

“Yeah, mate, we’re alright,” Finn reached up and clapped Alex on the shoulder before continuing with a small chuckle, “but you’re paying for the first round of drinks after the show tonight!”

Alex chuckled and groaned jokingly as the rest of the lads cheered in celebration.

“So Finnley...are my eyes deceiving me or is that your girl, Rae, standing in the crowd right now?” Chop asked with an eyebrow wiggle.

“Er, no...that’s her. I just—well, I just don’t know how to make things right with her or if she even tried to reach me at all in the last two months...I don’t see why she would’ve…”

“Rae texted and messaged you a lot in the beginning of summer, or so Izzie told me. I don’t think she knows that you lost your phone, so I can only imagine what this all seemed like for her...” Alex replied.

“Fuck,” Finn muttered under his breath as he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, “I fucked up.”

“Well...sure things didn’t go as planned, but it wasn’t exactly your fault, Finn,” Archie replied in an effort to stop his mate from blaming himself too much.

“I really need to unfuck things up between Rae and me, huh?” Finn asked and he received a chorus of mumbles agreeing with him and nods from his band mates.

Finn stood up abruptly from the equipment case he had been sitting on, knowing that he needed to talk to Rae but with no real plan of how he should go about doing that, but he suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder stopping him.

“Actually, as much as you would like to fix things with Rae right now, we first need to get warmed up. We do have a show to play, after all, and we go on stage in 15 minutes…” Danny said as he glanced down at the watch on his wrist.

Finn’s face fell slightly and he took a step back to lean against the equipment case he had been sitting on.

“Alright, don’t looks so sad Finney boy...This is fine! First we play the most kickass show of the summer, and then you can unfuck everything up and get your girl” Chop replied triumphantly, earning a small smile and a nod from Finn.

***

The music playing through the speakers of the venue between band sets came to a stop and the stage lighting shifted to signify that the next band that was scheduled to play was supposed to take the stage.

Finn trailed behind Danny alongside Alex and Archie as they walked on stage and found their respective positions on the stage. Finn scanned the crowd casually as he pulled the strap of his guitar over his head and adjusted it to sit comfortably on his shoulder.

Oh shit! There she is…

Finn could clearly see Rae and Izzie standing a short distance away from the stage on the side of the crowd closest to where Archie stood. When Chop finally walked on stage, the crowd went crazy and they immediately launched into performing one of their older songs that was always a crowd favorite.

“How’s it going ladies and gentlemen?” Chop called loudly into the microphone after their first song ended, “I see a few familiar faces in the crowd out there, but in case ya don’t know who we are, we’re a band that goes by the name ‘Kings and Queens’ and we’re here to blow your minds with some fucking amazing tunes! How does that sound to you all?”

The crowd erupted in cheers and applause and they transitioned right into the next song in their set. Despite Finn’s mind being focused on their performance enough to not make obvious mistakes, no matter how hard he tried to focus on what he was doing, his attempts were in vain and he found himself unable to stop looking at where he knew Rae was standing in the crowd.

After a few songs, Chop began talking to the audience when Finn grabbed the water bottle that was on the side of the stage beside the speaker closest to where Finn was standing. When Finn opened the water bottle and took a long drink from it, he saw Izzie lean over to Rae and whisper something in her ear out of his peripheral vision. At nearly the same time, Rae and Finn looked over at each other and Rae gave him a tight-lipped smile before turning around and navigating her way out of the crowd with Izzie trailing closely behind.

Fuck! They’re about to leave and I didn’t even get my chance to talk to Rae!

“Okay our next song is actually a song that our handsome guitarist here, Finn, wrote after he met a very special girl that came into his life unexpectedly and from the first time he saw her she rocked his world and turned his whole life upside down…”

Chop gestured to Finn—who had been watching Rae and Izzie leave the crowd until he heard his mate mention his name—which made him smile sheepishly and run a hand through the back of his hair in embarrassment, thus earning loud cheers from nearly every person in the audience.

“She really does make Finn do and say some pretty stupid shit, but what can I say? You’re intoxicating, babe!”

The crowd was still cheering loudly, but when Finn looked out into the crowd to find Rae, there was no indication that she was anywhere in sight.

“I know you’re out there in the crowd somewhere right now, baby girl, so hopefully you’re listening and you can see and hear how much of an effect you’ve had on our Finney boy here...this is our new song called ‘Alcohol or Love’...”

EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD STARTS TO BLUR,

NO ONE LEFT IN THE ROOM NOW BUT HER

JUST TAKE MY HAND BABE, JUST TAKE MY HAND

After playing their final few songs of their set, Finn and the rest of the band began to leave the stage after closing their set much in the same way that they close every show they play.

“I need to find Rae,” Finn said to no one in particular as soon as he was off stage and already putting his guitar away in its case as the others took their time leaving the stage.

Finn walked in the direction that he last saw Rae and Izzie walking away in during their set, but after looking for them for long enough that the next band had already taken the stage and was well into their set, Finn knew that there was no use in keeping up the search.

Well, I guess I missed my chance...if Rae really left, she definitely long gone by now…

Finn walked over to the merch table where Danny and Alex were currently selling CDs to a group of teenage girls that immediately asked for a picture and an autograph as soon as they saw him approaching.

When the small group of fans left and the other two at the table resumed their previous conversation, Finn looked around the venue and saw Chop and Archie near the stage on the opposite side of the venue. Finn furrowed his eyebrows in confusion when he saw the pair stop briefly and walk towards an area beside the stage that was out of Finn’s line of sight, but before long he saw Archie walking in the direction of the table where Finn was still sitting.

“Have you had the chance to talk to Rae yet?” Archie asked as he took a seat on the large equipment box behind their merch table where Finn was seated as well.

“No...I saw her walk away during our set and I tried to find her afterward but I think she might have left the show early…”

“I wouldn’t be so sure…”

“What do ya mean, Arch?”

“Oh, nothing...”

Finn looked over at Archie skeptically, but when he knew that Archie was not going to elaborate any further on the subject at this time, he simply shrugged and returned to selling CDs and chatting with the occasional fan of their band that stopped by their table to meet them.

When the show finally ended and the fans in the crowd began to disperse to buy merchandise and talk to the band members that were willing to meet fans, Archie stood from the equipment case and stretched before turning to face the others.

“Hey Alex, Danny...do you think you two can hold down the fort here at the merch table for a little while? Finn and I are needed elsewhere right now. I’ll be back in a little while and I’ll bring Chop with me too…”

“Yeah, of course!”

“We’ll be fine...go do what you gotta do…”

Danny and Alex replied before Alex leaned over and shoved Finn’s shoulder to coax him into standing up. Finn was still confused about what was going on, but he decided to follow where Archie was leading him nonetheless.

“Where are you taking me, Arch?”

“You’ll see…”

“Archie…”

“It’s fine, Finn...don’t worry about it!”

“Archibald!”

“Oh just shut up and follow me! I know you’ll be thanking me for this later…”

Finn begrudgingly followed Archie to the same area beside the stage where he had seen Archie and Chop stop a bit over an hour prior to this. Finn looked around this area off to one side of the concert venue where the stage lights were still shining and there were crews unplugging all the equipment on the stage and looked at Archie expectantly as he waited for Archie to explain why he brought him here.

“Okay, so Finn...now don’t get mad, but we knew that you wanted to make things right with Rae. But we also know how terrible with words you can be, and being in her presence certainly does not do you any favors.”

“What did you do, Arch?”

“Well, Chop and I crossed paths with Rae and her mate after our set and we decided that it was our responsibility as your best mates to help you unfuck up this whole situation...so Chop is over there explaining to Rae that you lost your phone and have been basically dead to the world in terms of you online presence due to a simple drunk night with the lads gone wrong...we couldn’t stand to think that she thought you were ignoring her, so we set the record straight and Chop has probably been talking her ear off for the last hour, so as long as you’re ready now, I think now is your chance to go talk to Rae!”

Archie grabbed Finn by the shoulders and spun him around to so he could see Izzie, Chop, and Rae a short distance away talking and laughing.

Rae looked up and locked eyes with Finn across the short distance separating them for a moment before giving him a wide grin and playfully rolling her eyes in response to something Chop must have said.

Before Finn could even fully register that he was moving on his own volition, he had closed the space between him and the others and he stood mere steps away from Rae, Izzie, and Chop.

“Hey, uhm...how’s it going, Rae?” Finn said hesitantly when he noticed a break in their previous conversation.

“Pretty good! And yourself, Finn?” She replied with a bright smile.

“Good too, I suppose…”

“Well Izzie, as riveting as this conversation is, I think it would be best if we left these two love birds alone, yeah?” Chop joked before gesturing for Izzie to follow him toward where Archie was still standing nearby.

“You got this mate…” Chop muttered as he clapped Finn on the shoulder with one hand before turning towards Rae and leaning in close to speak to her quietly, “Be gentle with my Finney boy, alright love?”

Chop pulled away and give the pair a smirk before walking away to join Izzie and Archie as they walked out of Finn’s line of sight to a different area of the venue.

“So…” Finn began hesitantly as he shifted his weight from one foot to another.

“So...you really lost your phone?” Rae asked with her eyebrow quirked.

“Yup”

“...in the middle of a bar fight?” Finn tried to gauge Rae’s tone when she asked this question, but he was unable to decide if she seemed impressed or disbelieving.

“Uh, yeah...sort of…” Finn mumbled before breaking eye contact with Rae to stare at the floor sheepishly.

“But Chop tells me that you were just standing up to some twats that harassed Archie?”

“Yeah, that part’s true too…”

“Huh…” Rae paused briefly and Finn looked up at Rae through his fringe to see her facial expressions when he saw a smile spread across her face, “That was really sweet of you.”

Finn returned the smile and a comfortable silence settled between them as a few moments passed before Finn gathered his thoughts enough to decide what he wanted to say.

“Rae, I—I swear that I really did want to talk to you and keep in touch this summer, but with losing my phone I basically got cut off from all forms of communication. And I only just found out that Alex has been seeing Izzie regularly for physical therapy sessions. If I had known sooner, I would have…”

“Don’t worry about it, Finn. I’ve know that he was her physical therapist for a couple of weeks now, but I figured if you wanted to talk to me, you would’ve found a way, so I didn’t try to use him as a middleman or anything.”

“Well still, I’m really glad to see that you made it out to the show tonight,”

“I’m glad Izzie and I decided to come out tonight too...I’m also glad that I was here to see you perform the new song you apparently wrote this summer that Chop was talking so much about.” Rae added with a smirk.

“Oh, yeah...that...he was exaggerating a bit, I assure you, but uh...I sort of thought you had left during our set because I saw you and Izzie walking out of the crowd and I was almost afraid that I had missed my only chance to make things right with you”

“Oh! Yeah, we were too close to the stage and it was really crowded and Izzie didn’t want to get stepped on by someone since her foot isn’t completely healed yet, so we found a little area next to the wall to stand by and still watch the performances.”

“That makes sense, I suppose,”

“Yup!” Rae popped the “p” at the end of the word as she reached forward to grab the black permanent marker that was sticking out of Finn’s shirt pocket, which caused Finn to cock his head to the side in confusion.

Rae grabbed Finn’s hand and brought it closer to her before turning his palm to face her as she used the marker to scrawl something across his hand.

“My phone number...I’m writing it on your hand so you can put it into your new phone. That way you won’t be able to use that as an excuse not the text me,” Rae said in response to the quirked eyebrow and look of confusion Finn was giving her.

“I’m putting your number in my phone right now!” Finn said as he hurriedly pulled his phone from the back pocket of his jeans and entered her phone number in as a new contact.

“So…” Finn said again when there is a break in the conversation.

“So...I have a bit of a request, if it’s not too much trouble…”

“What can I do for you, girl?”

“Well at the first concert I saw you perform at I got a picture with everyone except for you...and I wanted to see if I could get a picture with just you this time to make up for it, you know?”

“But of course, m’dear!” Finn replied with a grin before pulling his phone back out of his pocket, “Hey, mate! Can you please take a quick photo for us?”

The stage crew member that was currently packing up all of the equipment and wires that were still in a mess on the stage looked up when he realized that Finn was talking to him and he happily agreed and grabbed the cell phone from Finn while Finn and Rae prepared to take the picture.

“Alright...on the count of three say ‘cheese’!” the crew member said once he had brought up the camera on Finn’s cell phone.

Finn wrapped an arm around Rae and draped that hand gently over her shoulder, intentionally putting as little space between them as he possibly could while still respecting her personal space.

“Three”

Rae moved slightly closer to Finn until there was very little space between them as they waited for the photo to be taken.

“Two”

Finn looked over at Rae out of the corner of his eyes and he could clearly see the genuine smile lighting up her face and he knew that her smile went much deeper than just for the purposes of the picture.

“One”

A sudden burst of confidence came over Finn and as soon as the stage crew member taking the photo said “cheese” aloud to signal that he was taking the picture, Finn leaned over to gently press his lips to Rae’s cheek.

Rae pulled back after the photo was taken to stare at Finn, her jaw dropped in surprise, as a warm pink blush began spreading over her cheeks.

“What the fresh hell was that, Finn?”

“I dunno...you had to wait four months to get a proper photo with me, so I figured I might as well make it worth your while…”

“You cheeky bastard!” Rae added with a chuckle as she shook her head side to side in disbelief.

“I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have done that without asking you first. I didn’t mean to—”

Before Finn could finish his statement, Rae closed the distance between her and Finn again and crashed her lips against his, effectively shutting him up and ending his rambling.

Though the kiss came as a surprise to him, as soon as Finn registered what was happening, he started to return the tender kiss, but he soon felt Rae smile against his lips as she pulled away and ended the kiss almost as suddenly as she started it.

“I, uh...that was...I mean...wow! Er, do you want to maybe go and get a drink with me right now?” Finn finally managed to stutter out as he continued to struggle to regain his train of thought after the unexpected kiss with Rae.

“I’d like that”

Rae reached for Finn’s hand and interlocked their fingers together before she turned to face him, “Lead the way, Finn!”

Finn and Rae walk hand-in-hand towards the exit of the concert venue—attempting to ignore the cheers and wolf whistles from the other members of Kings and Queens and Izzie who was sitting with them behind the band’s merch table—and Finn could not wipe the blissed out grin off his face even if he tried to.

THE END :)

@arathewallflower @eveerez @tinakegg @hey1tskat1e @lurkernolonger @milllott @nutinanutshell @i-dream-of-emus @milymargot @vivammfd @bitchesbecrazy89 @mallyallyandra @kneekeyta @tothetardissterek

A/N: Yay! We finally made it to the end of this story. I don't really have too much to say in terms of author's notes for this chapter, but what's one of my posts without a bit of rambling and nonsense at the end, you know? Hahaha I just wanted to start by thanking all of you for reading this story, first and foremost, but also for letting me know what you all think of the story as it progressed and just in general for being so supportive and amazingly sweet whenever I post a new chapter. As 2017 draws to a close, I've started looking back on my year and realizing how much my life has changed over the last year, mostly for the worse. One good thing that did happen was that I rediscovered my love of writing and it's been a great outlet for me when things have been especially tough, so I have each and every one of you guys that follow me and read my writing to thank for that. ^_^ I know I promised 3 new chapters/fics this week, but I've been really busy with all that's going on in my life and the holidays, BUT as of right now I'm thinking all 3 things I wanted to post should be up on or before Christmas...idk, we'll see... Until next time: Stay awesome, my friends! :D

[supercultshow]

Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Mixed Reviews” with a minor in “Turn into a mortal and your haircut is free!”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of the sequel to 1995’s Supercult Classic Mortal Kombat, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation!

Look, I think we can agree that the first Mortal Kombat film was fun but was too much of a fence-sitter of a film. Not only was it a PG-13 film based on the most notoriously violent game in video game history, but it had about as much plot and visual effects polish as the game it was based on. It was neither good enough for film audiences nor extreme enough for fans of the video game. Nevertheless, the film made bank. From a modest budget of $18 million, Mortal Kombat grossed $122 million worldwide. The Gods of Hollywood demanded a sequel and, well, I think you’ll be glad to hear that the 1997 sequel did absolutely nothing to solve the problems of the original. It just made more.

“This time there is no tournament. This time there no rules. This time there is only Annihilation.”

Hey look! It’s that one guy! The lemon-flavored ninja, right? Didn’t he die in the last movie?

CAN YOU DIG IT??

Hey look! It’s that one girl! The strawberry flavored kunoichi, right? See the joke is that you all look the same with masks on.

Me and my shit-eating grin are gonna take over the world! What’chu gonna do about it, punk?

“Yeahhh! I’m a centaur! YEEEAAAHHH!”

Eww, is this really what the 90s looked like?

Behold the horror of every 90s mom at Halloween!!

Okay, everyone line up and stare at the blue screen.

So, in the game Jax’s arms are just robot arms. In the movie they’re more like exo-skeleton enhancements. So basically he’s wearing robo-sleeves with no shirt, which is supposed to be LESS dumb than robot prosthetics.

Released in 1997, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation steals the plot from Mortal Kombat 3 and the character roster from Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3, hoping to cater more to fans of the video game. Producer Lawrence Kasanoff who produced the previous Mortal Kombat film and would later go on to write, direct, and producer Foodfight! (Yes, THAT Foodfight!) said that he was trying to make the film “even more spectacular than the first movie… Our theme for the sequel is to shoot for more—more fights, more special effects, more Outworld, more everything.” It’s true. The film has more of pretty much everything. More fights strung together with little to no connecting plot. More dropped plot threads and character arcs such as Liu Kang’s partially completed Animality trials. More characters uttering more nonsense one-liners with more campy melodramatic flair than you have ever heard in a single film! And even more shoddy special effects and matte effects that make you question what decade the film was made in. Oh yeah, and the damn thing is still a pansy PG-13!

Many of the original cast from the first Mortal Kombat film reprise their roles including Robin Shou as Liu Kang, Talisa Soto as Kitana, and uh…no wait, that’s it. Nearly everyone attached to the first film could see where this whole ‘Movies based on Video Games’ thing was headed and escaped with what little of their careers were still intact. Says here that Linden Ashby was asked to return as Johnny Cage but then turned it down after reading the script. Even our boy Christopher Lambert, from Supercult Classic Highlander, who played Raiden in the original film jumped ship and had to be replaced with James Remar, an arguably better actor who is given even less to work with script-wise than his predecessor. The overhauled cast had to not only learn how to somehow turn dialogue copy-pasted from a bad cartoon show into drama while sprinting through dozens of fight scenes. The only thing going for it cast-wise might be that behind the scenes working as the stunt double for Robin Shou was a 20-something Tony Jaa, veteran Muay Tai fighter since childhood and future star of Supercult Classic Ong-Bak: Muay Thai Warrior,  the most real martial arts film ever.

But let’s get real: Mortal Kombat: Annihilation was panned by both critics and fans of the video game. It is one of the lowest rated movies on IMDB with a score of 3.8 out of 10 right alongside Jaws 3-D (1983), Dungeons & Dragons (2000), and Supercult Classic Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987). It has a staggering 2% on Rotten Tomatoes and even video game programmer and Mortal Kombat co-creator, and the original voice of the Motal Kombat announcer Ed Boon hated the film’s guts. But worst of all, it barely made its money back, grossing only a third of the box office returns of its predecessor on nearly double the budget. Reception was so bad that plans for a third Mortal Kombat film, called Mortal Kombat: Devastation, were abruptly cancelled. But take heart fellow Supercultists. The Mortal Kombat rights are now with Warner Bros. and there are plans for a 2021 reboot. Ahh, the Elder Gods continue to bless Supercult with an unending supply of fodder, don’t they?

Now adays its hard to tell whether Mortal Kombat: Annihilation is a cautionary tale of corporate greed and early video game cash-ins, or if it has evolved into a hilarious cult hit that plays into its own unintentional comedy. Is it a really bad video game film, or a really good spoof of the source material? It’s time to decide supercultists! Round One! FIGHT!

Supercult West is proud to present, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation!

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Mixed Reviews” with a minor in “Turn into a mortal and your haircut is free!”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of the sequel to 1995’s Supercult Classic Mortal Kombat, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation!

[cosmosogler]

today i woke up on time!

i saw snoopy had pooped on the couch AND on the rug in front of the sink. so i shoved some in the sample thing and cleaned that up. then i worked out for over 20 minutes, and then i swam for about 10. i made 4 complete laps across the pool, which is... very big. then i showered and then i threw the blanket and rugs into the wash (snoopy’s gotten SOMETHING on all of them by now) and then i took the sample to the vet. getting there wasn’t too bad. i asked the tech at the counter some questions and she suckered me into buying a 20 dollar bottle of friendly cat smell.

the bus only comes once every hour on weekends so i sat at the bus stop and played pokemon and listened to a taz episode while i waited. i completed my taz episode right as i stepped off the bus near my apartment to walk home. then in the last minute of the walk, as soon as i reached the apartment property, the sky opened up and dumped on me. i sprinted to the building and that helped a little bit.

after that i was tired and it had taken about 2 hours to do what i thought would be an 80-90 minute job so i made some lunch. i lost my appetite a few bites in. i cleaned the apartment instead, and then i went grocery shopping. 

it always hurts to spend that much money at once but then i realize that this food keeps me going for over a week basically, and it would be more than twice as expensive to try to eat on campus every day. vegetarian-oriented items can get expensive... and the fresh fruit puts a hole in my wallet. but i do feel pretty good, or good enough. i don’t get stomachaches when i eat that stuff, but my body still seems to feel sick. 

the trip back from the grocery store was pretty intense! i got some really good practice at looking completely occupied and unwilling to let anyone get in my way. freshman-looking girls and boys parted for me on the sidewalk. i hurt my shoulder carrying the canvas bag. it doesn’t still really hurt, but it is kind of tender when i work the joint.

also for some reason my key wasn’t working on the back door to the building so i had to walk an extra block around the front and then all the way back around the outside to the back where the stairs/elevator are.

after that it was kinda late... i put on another taz and made my team for the pokemon competition. i got ROCKED in my first battle, and then my internet went out during the second battle so i kinda left it at that. i called mom and asked about the dogs and left instructions for my sister to find some gamecube games to send and that took a half hour. i also made a microwave dinner but it was kinda weird tasting and i was sad that it did not taste like actual pad thai at all. like it was a total airball on flavor there.

i opened a smaller window for snoopy and she loved it. and i took out the trash and recycling. i can’t seem to produce enough trash to fill a bag before it’s time for it to be taken out. i don’t mind that- it’s just a shame to be using the normal amount of bags for not a lot of trash.

instead of studying tonight i spent a lot of time training my pokemon and just listening to music and chilling. i combed through all the university’s clubs to look for a hobby that fits my schedule. looks like i’m going to check out the knitting club and maybe the creative writing club. let’s see if i can actually show my art to other people any more. i ain’t made no art in a long time, visual or writing.

i was kind of annoyed with myself for training pokemon but i couldn’t seem to stop. i’m just so tired after all the running around all day and pokemon is a nice thing to keep my hands busy when my brain can’t keep going any more. 

i also wanted to check out events for residents around town but the official gainesville event web site hasn’t updated in about four years. so that wasn’t a very good resource.

tomorrow i’m going to go to the physics department and study there. it’s a little easier (not easy, but... less hard) to stay focused in my office compared to my desk at home. partly because it’s a working place, but mostly because i can fit everything comfortably on the desk’s surface and it’s not too cluttered. i haven’t found a good place yet for a bunch of things that have found their home on my desk. since snoopy isn’t using the top of the little drawer any more i might put some stuff there...

snoopy’s starting to fill out a little more. her shoulders feel like a normal animal and not like a skeleton. and i’ve gotten a little better at brushing- short swipes like how cats groom themselves instead of body-length brushes. it doesn’t pick up nearly as much hair, but snoopy seems more comfortable with it.

she also seems to like to lounge where she has a good view of whatever she wants to look at. her bed is by the window and she only hangs out on the top perch of that. she also likes to sleep next to the washing machine with a clear view out past me at my desk into the hallway. and the top of my bed is high enough to see out of the little alcove into the kitchen/living room/window. the little shelf under my desk does not provide much to look at.

that was my day, basically, roughly. it’s weird how body tiredness and mind tiredness are not always in sync. right now both are tired, absolutely, but after my workout this morning really just my body was tired. and most of the time, only my mind is tired. when one is tired the other usually gets super restless. hence the fiddling with pokemon all evening.

i’m not really sure why i still keep losing my appetite. i guess i am pretty stressed... not as lonely with snoop around, but still kinda wanting more out of my conversations. i talk to snoopy but it’s mostly stuff that’s meant to be reassuring. at this point she might think her name is “good girl” haha. 

i think snoopy and i are a good match for each other personality wise. there’s some learning and adjusting behaviors happening of course but she’s very affectionate and i have a lot of affection to give. we’re also both kinda low-energy and fairly quiet.

she’s kind of like eve in that she loves pets and can’t get enough of a good scratch under the chin, but she doesn’t like cuddling at all. that’s fine with me. but it’s kind of funny because snoopy likes to perch on the couch’s arm and won’t let me help her balance with two hands so sometimes she ends up leaning into my hand and almost tipping off the couch. she probably would slip less if she had claws. 

oh, today she discovered that she can use the smaller couch to get up on my kitchenware shelves. she was poking my silverware with her nose. she’s pretty good about cutting it out when i use a more urgent tone of voice at least. or when i gently push her nose away from my food with the back of my hand. i wonder what she was like when she was younger.

anyway i guess i should get ready for bed. in my dreams last night i took a swim to the bottom of the ocean looking for a palace that was popping in and out of existence like there was some kind of static between it and reality. i caught a glimpse of it, toward the end, but the currents were too strong so i never really got anywhere near it.

[escapingreality1992]

Secret Pen Pals Ch. 8

Keira’s POV

           I ran around my apartment throwing clothes into a suitcase to head down to my parents’ home. I also stuffed books and electronics in two tote bags – one to take on the plane with me and the other to ride with my other luggage. I felt ambitious with my reading and felt that five weren’t enough to satisfy me; I packed at least ten, prepared to drown out the would-be drama that would unfold there. I blamed myself for not packing the night before, having other obligations on my mind. I needed to go out to buy last minute gifts that would be perfect for each member of my family.

           They also needed to be able to be small enough to fit in my suitcase. I had a late dinner finishing up wrapping the gifts an hour after midnight, retiring to bed. Without packing, I might add. I had plenty of time, my flight not leaving until 2 p.m., but I always panicked anyway. Setting the final touches to my luggage, I changed into grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt, followed by comfortable footwear and a hoodie, which zipped up. I wanted to be comfortable on the flight, maybe catch a nap while on board or dive headfirst into reading.

           Like Thanksgiving, my dad would be picking me up at the airport when I arrived. This time, mom would be joining him, helping him with my luggage.

           “Oh. I forgot to grab my notebook and envelopes,” I said out loud. I sprinted back to my bedroom and grabbed them, my hand brushing over the Polaroid camera sitting on my desk that was near my computer, which I had already packed. I paused, tucking the notebook and envelopes under my arm; I picked up the camera, deciding on whether or not to bring it. I could always send Steve some pictures of the celebrations, I thought. There he was again, burying himself in my mind. Warmth and tingles coursed through my body every time I thought about him, bringing a smile to my lips. So close, yet so far away from meeting. We had both hoped to meet earlier, but fate still hadn’t brought us together. Yet. We still planned on the 18th of January, a date too far away in my opinion.

           I almost wanted to cancel my plans and run over to his home and see him. Almost. I knew my parents would be upset about it, cancelling plans to meet up with a “complete stranger”. He wasn’t one in my mind, but it’d be the first thing they’d say. Walking back into the living room, I carefully placed the camera and a couple of rolls of film that I grabbed into my suitcase. I slipped the notebook and envelopes in the carry-on tote I planned to take on the plane in case I felt inspired to write something to him on the plane. Taking one last look around the apartment to make sure I didn’t forget anything, I left for the airport, once again leaving Steve behind.

             “Welcome home,” my mom said when we arrived at their house. The flight seemed shorter as well as the ride. It was almost as if time wanted the trip to go by fast; maybe a sign of wanting Steve to appear in my life at any given moment. I did worry a little that we wouldn’t ever cross paths, forever being a secret to those around us. I still kept a positive attitude about everything though, thinking that we would meet one day. We opened the door and Newt launched himself on me, almost knocking me over in the process.

           “Hey, buddy. I missed you too,” I said, pushing his front feet to the floor and scratching his fur; I moved my hand to the places he loved – his belly and the space between his ears, even behind his ears. He looked like he was smiling whenever I gave him the attention he deserved. His tail wagged and he followed me to the stairs as my parents and I took my luggage to my room. They left me to unpack and as soon as I was finished, I spread out across my bed, staring up at the ceiling.

           I closed my eyes and imagined what it would be like to have Steve here with me. Would my parents allow him to stay here in my room or in the guest bedroom? Dad would talk his ear off, maybe grill him about his intentions towards me. Mom would try to convince him to secure a future with me. My other family would welcome him with open arms. I’d be happy to have him to wrap my arms around him, to kiss him and fall deeper in love with him. A knock at my door had me sitting up to see my dad standing on the other side.

           “I wanted to tell you Damien’s girlfriend is bringing her kids. Dinner will be at 4 tomorrow and be prepared for the same questions as last time,” he told me. Damien was another cousin of mine and his girlfriend’s name was Carla. Her two kids, Charlotte, 12, and Lucas, 15, were nice but I still wished it could be immediate family only.

           “Okay. Thanks, Dad,” I said, putting on a smile despite the news. He left the hallway and I laid back down, sighing. I wondered how long my social battery would last the next day. Though it’d be family, I still felt drained at the end of the night. I didn’t know why, perhaps it was because I had to put up with the subtle disappointment on their shoulders.

           It weighed me down and I often felt I needed to accommodate for them. How could so many people in my life make me feel less of myself? Family included. I knew they tried to mean well, but it came out as something different. Skewed, like they had no filter when they talked to me about my career or love life.

           I daydreamed, pulling my mind into other regions I hadn’t yet explored with Steve. He had written to me of explicit endeavors; basic, yet something lingered in them causing arousal in my core. They were romantic, sensual, so I allowed myself to imagine the same. Different, but similar to some of the ideas he had.

           The feel of his warm skin against mine, our bodies connected, pleasure hitting us everywhere, his tongue exploring where it needed…wanted. His light blue eyes gazing into mine, his blonde hair in his face. I imagined tolling him on his back and…

           “Keira! Dinner!” my mom’s voice sliced through the scene playing out in my mind. I opened my eyes. My fingers had almost reached down to pleasure myself, eager to match what I’d imagined to be spectacular. I got up and went down the stairs to eat. I’d play later tonight, nothing but Steve on my mind.

  Steve’s POV            Monday. The night before Christmas Eve. Keira is once away from me. The anticipation is killing me. Metaphorically, of course. Nothing has been exciting throughout the day. Plans were coming together for a giant Avengers feast tomorrow night. Stephen Strange and Wong would be leaving the Sanctum, T’Challa coming in from Wakanda, a couple of Guardians would be visiting, and Carol too would be here. Even Lang and his girlfriend would be here for a few hours. Some with a significant other, some still single. Bucky, Sam, Bruce and a few others still hadn’t met someone. I had, but Keira and I weren’t together. Not yet. We still hadn’t officially met.

           January, though a month away, was slow to beginning and I was frustrated to say the least. I think in some way, so was she. What was she thinking about at this moment? Did she have me on her mind? Was she imagining me there with her or was she thinking about being here with me? Maybe, I should have invited her for Christmas. Alone. We could have had a coffee date, or we could have rented out a cabin for the weekend. To talk, to get to know each other more than we have in the letters, I thought.

           Though various scenarios had played out in my mind involving skin to skin contact, I didn’t want to rush into it. I wanted to find out what turned her on while also falling for her even more than I already had. While contemplating all the dates that could have been, someone had appeared around the corner of the living room.

           “Psst! Steve,” a voice caught my attention. I turned to see Wanda behind me, clutching the door frame. She appeared to be hiding from the rest of the team, from Natasha.

           “Do you need something?” I asked, curious to know why.

           “Can you help me with something? For tomorrow night. It’s for Natasha,” she answered, beckoning me with a finger. I followed her up the stairs to the room she shared with Nat and waited for her request. She checked to see if the coast was clear before opening a secret compartment in one of the drawers of a nightstand.

           “What are you…” I began to ask, freezing when she brought forth a small black box. She opened it to reveal a silver ring with black and red gemstones; Onyx and rubies it looked like.

           “Wow,” I breathed, stepping closer to get a better glance at it.

           “I want to propose to her tomorrow night. I love her and for the past three years have shown me just how much I do. I’d like to set up a scavenger hunt for her and then propose when she finds it,” she explained. My mouth went dry. One of my best friends was about to be engaged and the girl I was falling for hadn’t met me yet.

           “Steve? Are you okay?” I cleared my throat and nodded.

           “Yeah. I’ll help you. When do you want to have it take place?” We discussed plans on how to set everything up. We wrote down clues for Natasha to look for, the first in their room, the next at the bar, the next in the tree and the last on the box, which we placed in the dining room on a shelf. No one would find it, we made sure of that when placing it there.

           We planned to do the hunt after everyone ate and each one of us had received one present open before Christmas Day. Natasha would be the last to get hers and when she found it, Wanda would propose in front of everyone.

           “Thank you. I’m so excited. I’m about to spend the rest of my life with Natasha. It’s going to be the best Christmas ever,” Wanda said, giving me a hug.

           “You’re welcome. I think I’m going to call in pizza for everyone,” Those who were out returned to the compound and I went out with Tony to grab the pizzas. We brought them back, ate and afterwards I escaped to my room to be alone. I spread out across my bed, on my back, carding a hand through my hair. I let it rest on my stomach, closing my eyes to think about Keira. Instead of letting my imagination roam to pleasure, I focused on a wedding. Keira in a white dress walking down the aisle towards me, a smile on her face. We’d exchange vows, placing rings on each other’s fingers and kissing, binding us together.

           It’ what I wanted to happen. She had, in a matter of a few months, captured my heart and I wanted nothing more than to be with Keira forever.

  Keira’s POV

           Christmas Eve. One more day. Six more days spending time with family. Enough time to write to him. I woke, went for a run, taking Newt with me and came back to shower.

           The outfit I’d be wearing would be a light blue halter dress and black heels. I’d be fixing my makeup to match, my long brunette hair curled and pinned back in 40’s fashion. I don’t know what made me think of it, but it’d be gorgeous. I stretched out my shower into a bath, putting as much effort into my appearance as possible. I had time to kill, to prepare for another holiday disaster.

           Not with my parents; they seemed to back off a little, enjoying my company. I didn’t know what to expect from the rest, except the obvious questions about my future. Most likely, it’d be something similar to Thanksgiving. I got out and dried off, getting ready for another couple of hours. Once done, I examined myself in the full-length mirror in my room and descended the steps, book in hand, to the living room.

           “Wow. What did you get all dressed up for?” Dad greeted me, wearing a cream sweater and blue jeans; they were nice for the occasion and I was beginning to feel over-dressed. Mom walked in from the kitchen. She was wearing black slacks with a green blouse. Her blonde hair was straightened and her makeup neutral. Nothing compared to the elegance of my dress and how I had my hair and makeup. I had decided to make the best of the night by dressing to the nines, something which made me have confidence surging through my mind.

           “I wanted to. I felt good about it,” I stated, seating myself in one of the armchairs. It was the Sherlock Holmes book Steve had gotten me; the detective dealt with the “supernatural” and it pulled me into the world and story.

           “I’d ask if you were trying to impress someone, but you don’t have a date for this family night. Unless there’s something you’re not telling me,” Dad said.

           “No, I didn’t invite a date. The only ones I’m trying to impress are my family. If I had a date, I wouldn’t be able to keep anyone away from him,” I said, resuming my book. Guests started to arrive an hour later, and I traded in my book for the camera, taking pictures of the presents gathered around the tree, of the feast, of my family; all of the material for another letter to Steve. I did choose to take pictures of myself, but I decided not to put them in, saving the reveal for the day we met. A surprise within a surprise. This might be the final letter. I still had one planned in case we still didn’t meet before the 18th.

           We gathered around in a circle, saying “thanks” before we began plating our food. I sat at a small table with Callie and her son Jackson, who everyone called Jack and sometimes joking with him by calling him Jack of hearts. He was 15 and starting to date, keeping girls as long as four months before ending it, bored with the relationship before it got interesting. The feast of the night included turkey and ham as well as mashed potatoes and corn. Staples of every Christmas dinner.

           I had already been grilled by other members of the family, expecting Callie to do the same. She was doing well not to mention anything, and I was counting the minutes before it got to be too much.

           “So, no boyfriend?” Ten minutes. That’s how long it took her from the minute we sat down. I shook my head, stabbing a piece of turkey with my fork.

           “You live in New York. No run in with any of the Avengers? No Stephen Strange? No Thor? No what’s-his-name? The one with the metal arm?” she continued. I dared not to meet her eyes; the judgment clear in her voice.

           “His name is Bucky Barnes. And no. There’s no one. There hasn’t been any run in with any of them. I doubt Strange would even date the likes of me and I’m not interested in Thor. Don’t get me wrong. He’s incredibly attractive, but not really someone I look for in a relationship,” I commented.

           “You’re-,”

           “You’re on the verge of asking me the same questions from Thanksgiving. The world won’t end if I don’t have a boyfriend. I promise,” I cut her off, annoyed.

           “But-,”

           “Who wants dessert? There are brownies again. Plus, I want some pecan pie,” I interrupted her again, getting up and disposing of the remaining meat on my plate. Deciding there was too much residue from the potatoes, I tossed the plate in the trash and grabbed a new one, placing a brownie and pecan pie on it, sitting in the living room to eat in peace. Next came the traditional opening of gifts; not the ones from my parents. We would save those for tomorrow morning when all the excitement died down.

           Most of the items were clothing and gift cards. Callie tried to be funny with one that was from “Captain America”. A perfume that I liked, and a new scarf were contained within the bag. My mom got a new decoration to put on her mantle and dad got a few clothing items as well. We sat around the fire talking until it got late, everyone leaving the house when all the festivity came to an end. My parents and I stayed up later, unwrapping a final gift for the night, a tradition that we kept between the three of us; four if you include Newt. I received new pajamas to change into and promptly went upstairs to change.

           I wiped off my makeup and washed the hairspray from my hair without getting back into the shower. I let it airdry, spraying leave-in conditioner in it, retrieving my notebook from the tote bag. I opened it to a clean page and composed a new letter to Steve, hoping he had a pleasant night. I hoped it had gone better than the one I had tonight. I stayed up later, at least until 3 a.m. writing and pouring out my heart to him, sealing it and the pictures in an envelope.

  Steve’s POV

           Tonight, was the night. Wanda would propose to Natasha and I couldn’t be happier. The day started off with a run like normal and I returned to take a shower. Dinner wouldn’t be served until 5 p.m. and I spent most of the day reading or drawing in bed. Around 3 p.m. I got up and dressed; the outfit tonight being a blue shirt with black slacks, the dress shoes matching.

           I combed my hair back, something similar to the 40’s. I wanted to back to my roots a little but also be a bit presentable to those that came tonight. I went down to the living room and talked with Bucky until guests started arriving; Stephen Strange and Wong, the first to arrive. They were followed by the Guardians, and Peter Parker. I was surprised to see him her, but figured Tony had invited him. T’Challa and his family would be here a little later as well as Scott and Hope, the flights getting in at 4:30.

Some of the ones that lived at the compound came down as they got ready, the first woman being Nat, who dressed in a white and burgundy gown. It hugged her curves, no doubt wanting to capture Wanda’s attention. Sam and Tony came down next, both in a suit. Wanda followed them, wearing a floor length dress, which was red; the color was something she was known for and it complimented her well. Once all the guests had arrived, Thor and Loki being the last to come down, dinner began. We had Turkey, which I helped to fry, mashed potatoes, green beans and for some reason a kale salad.

           Not too traditional, but still good. For dessert, we would have a chocolate cake and pumpkin pie, and ice cream for those who didn’t want those. We sat down at the giant dining table, my place beside Bucky and Natasha. Everyone talked with one another, having a grand time; some went back for seconds, while others decided one plate of savory food was enough and went to grab dessert.

           The time came for the opening of gifts and I watched as each one of us received one at a time. I looked over at Natasha and could tell she was getting a bit nervous when she still hadn’t received hers from Wanda. I rubbed a shoulder, giving her reassurance that she would get one. I watched as Wanda walked over to her and placed a note in her hands. Watched as curiosity crossed her features as she realized what was happening. She left and hunted down each clue, Wanda getting nervous as she located each one.

           When Natasha had finally located the small jewelry box, I looked to Wanda, who had materialized behind her girlfriend, kneeling. The final piece of the puzzle connected with Nat as she gasped and turned to find Wanda, tears glistening in her eyes. Every Avenger in the room, stood to watch the proposal take place.

           “Natasha, when I first met you, I admit you intimidated me a little,” This comment elicited a laugh from Natasha. “But as we grew to know each other, I found myself falling in love with you. I knew from the very first date, we were meant to be together. You have shown me love I never knew could be possible. I’d love nothing more than be with you forever. You’re my world and I need you to be part of my life for an eternity. I love you Natasha, with everything I have to give. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” Wanda proposed.

“Yes. A thousand times yes,” Natasha accepted. Wanda smiled and took the ring out of the box, slipping it on her finger and standing up. Everyone clapped and cheered for them as they kissed. A pang hit my heart; I was lonely. Again. Even though the letters brought me to someone, I still needed her. I wanted her. I wasn’t jealous of Wanda and Natasha. I was happy, but I wanted it for myself.

           I embraced Natasha when she came over to me, giving her congrats and she caught my gaze.

           “Don’t worry. You’ll have your moment to shine. She’s coming. Soon, I hope. Keira will be yours to have one day. Stay positive. Be patient,” she whispered.

“I know. I’m still waiting on fate to intervene,” I whispered back. The night winded down and guests began to leave to return to their own homes to celebrate with their own version of family. Most of us stayed together talking, each one retiring when they needed to. I found myself alone in the living room, the last to depart to my room. I sighed and went over to the desk to compose a letter to Keira. I’d have to wait until she sent me her own, before I could send one back to her at her parents’ home. I hoped it would be the last.

  Four Days Later

           The 28th arrived and I reflected on Christmas day. It went by too quickly and the routine resembled. A run, a mission, and meeting. Not in that order. The mission had come early that morning, on Christmas. Whoever decided to cause on trouble on a special holiday was some crazy son of a bitch. Only this time it was a woman. This mission required Tony, Bruce, Thor, Bucky, Strange, Wong, and Sam. I let Wanda and Natasha rest for their engagement, employing the others in taking the enemy down.

           It included a form of necromancy, which is why Strange needed to be there. Some freaky things occurred that I was unprepared for. Things one needed to relieve stress from. The battle lasted a while, around eight hours, our bodies exhausted by the time we returned home. I had to brew myself tea, something I hadn’t done in a long time. To de-stress further, I took a longer training session, sweating off more energy. A scalding hot shower was also needed; I scrubbed my skin until satisfied that I no longer felt the woes of the battle itself.

           A longer run was taken the next day and I still paced the mailbox, awaiting Keira’s next letter. It still hadn’t come but I doubted it would come a day after Christmas given the time post offices took for the holiday. Which meant more patience. Two meeting occurred in the same day, one from General Ross, who still didn’t understand Strange’s work and the other with Tony, who had nightmares from that day. He needed to work through what happened, still shocked when someone had to end the necromancer’s life. Strange wouldn’t do it and Tony had made a last-minute decision to do just that. It still haunted him, but he had no other choice. She would have ended more lives and we couldn’t take the chance.

           On the 27th, we all went out to drink, playing pool and having fun to shake the tension and to have an official celebration of Wanda and Natasha’s engagement with our “family”. The letter still hadn’t made it to the mailbox, and I started to worry that I wouldn’t be able to get mine to her in time before she left.

           Today, however, as I paced up and down the driveway towards the end of the day, my hopes were achieved. As the mail man pulled up, I had him hand me the stack of mail for the day, rummaging through it until I found what I was looking for. The envelope was thicker this time and I bypassed everyone in the kitchen to open it in private. I stretched out on my bed, elbows up to read her new words.

              Steve,

Christmas Eve. What a glorious night. As you can see, I’m back at my parents’ and will be spending the next few days here. I’ll be here until the 30th before returning back to New York. A decision I made and can’t refund because, well, they’re plane tickets. I sent you a few pictures of the night in question. They’re of my family and their joy of the holiday. The presents, the feast and them.

           You might be disappointed of the lack of pictures of me. Let me explain. I want you to see me. I do, but I would like for it to be the very first time we meet. I want to take in your reaction in person. I want to be able to take your breath away as we lock eyes. I didn’t want you to see me in the pictures and know what I look like as I walked through the door.

           I think it might be a little romantic. Too much like a movie, but you know what, I don’t care. It’s what I have envisioned in my head and I want it to play out like that. I know, cheesy. That’s who I am though. A hopeless romantic at heart. You should also know that I nearly cancelled my plans to come and find you. I have your address and I was willing to drop everything and come over. But I figured my family would have been upset over it. Maybe next time?

              A laugh escaped my throat. I agreed with her. Which is why I hadn’t sent her any pictures either. I wanted it to be a surprise. A genuine reaction. I looked over the pictures. It looked like beautiful chaos. Who knew so much fun could be shared in a couple of photos? What surprised me was when she said she almost cancelled plans to find me. I understand why she didn��t. I knew she didn’t want to disappoint her family, but I was happy to see she had plans for us for next year.

             I am alone in my room again. I haven’t been in here since I first got ready for tonight. I’m pretty sure I over-dressed. I went with an elegant dress and an old-fashioned hairstyle. I felt great in it and I wanted confidence to go through me. I’m being bold again. Which is a bit weird for me. I think it’s a good thing though.

             I’ve resolved to take charge at the beginning of the year. No more letting people get me down. No more letting my friends or family walk over me again. No more having my family judge me for things that make me happy. A chance at a new beginning. I want you to be in it too. January 18th can’t come soon enough. I might be on the verge of pining for you. Not that I hadn’t been already. It’s just more intense.

             This is probably too much information, but I daydreamed about you last night. I usually do sometimes as a way to relax or to de-stress or whenever I feel the need to. Most of the time it’s more romantic. Last night…it was more, uh, sensual. Remember when you wrote to me of the images that came to you. Of us connected in more of an intimate way. That’s what I thought of.

             Heat flushed my cheeks as I read the paragraph. It was beginning to seem like we wanted each other in more of a sexual way, while still falling for each other. We both had awakened a new desire in our hearts and we both appeared to want that desire to play out in real life.

             I want to feel you on top of me or me on top of you (if you have no preference or maybe if you’d like that). I want us connected. I guess I’m getting frustrated of not meeting you yet. I’m trying to be patient, but I can’t help it. I can’t wait for our paths to cross. To be able to see you, to touch you. I keep imagining scenarios of how our meeting will take place. I was thinking maybe Central Park, say around noon. I’ll be waiting on a bench for you.

             Anyways, I will let the night play out for you. My family inquired into my life again. The same questions, which I avoided with my cousin by grabbing dessert. My parents backed off from their judgment, which surprised me. They’re the first to say something. We opened presents and proceeded to sit around the fire talking. It was like old times and I wished it could be like that all the time. I hope to share it with you. Maybe create our own traditions.

           After everyone left, my parents and I sat together and opened a present each. Which is usually, new pajamas to change into for the next morning, when we open our special gifts with each other. And Newt of course. He about knocked me down when I got home. He misses me when I return to New York. I won’t move back though. I’d miss you too much. Unless, we decided to come to North Carolina to live. But I love the city.

             I’d move anywhere. If it meant having you with me, I’d do it, I thought. It was the truth. Damn, I really had it bad for Keira. So much so that I’d agree to be anywhere in the world. Though, New York had really become home for both of us. Though, at this point we only wanted to be with each other.

             Now I sit here late at night writing to you. I needed to talk to you. To wish you a Merry Christmas. To wish you a New Year’s. Though, I’ll be back before then. I sit here writing what I think will be my last letter. I hope, anyway. I do have another one planned before the 18th. But I feel like fate is about to intervene. Time seems to be going by quickly, as if it’s waiting for the right moment. Do you get that sense? I wonder what you’re doing now. Are you having a pleasant night with your friends?

                       I miss you. Here’s to hoping we’ll be with each other soon.

Patiently waiting for you,

Keira

              Though a little shorter than her last letter, I still felt it was enough. She was eager to meet and felt time getting faster. I felt the opposite. I was under the impression it was getting slower, keeping me from her. I hoped I was wrong. I hoped it would speed up and bring us together before we even realized it. Then we could begin our relationship, engaging in the bright future ahead of us. I got up and wrote the address of her parents’ home and went out to drop it off in a blue box, praying it’d get there in time.

  The 30th

  Keira’s POV

           Christmas Day came and went. I opened my gifts from my parents and enjoyed the surprises that were in store for me. They knew me well, gifting me kit for watching movies and reading, even throwing in books they thought I’d like. They were thrilled with the ones I gave them and then it was over. Interesting how it lasts only a few minutes and then it’s gone. In a flash. We ate and I spent the next few hours relaxing before running one specific errand. I dropped off the letter in one of those blue boxes, knowing the post office would be closed on Christmas day. Now it was the 30th and I still waited for the mail, hoping I’d get something from Steve.

           I couldn’t wait to hear from him and to see what exciting things happened to him over the holidays. Imagine my surprise when my dad walked through the living room carrying the stack of mail. He rifled through the stack, pausing on an envelope.

           “Who’s Steve Rogers? Do we know-,” he asked, blinking in surprise when I took it from his hand.

           “It’s mine. It’s from a friend in New York. I told him I’d be here for Christmas,” I said, clutching it to my chest.

           “Oh. Okay. I don’t recall you ever mentioning-,”

           “He’s relatively new. I didn’t think you wanted to know everything that’s happened in New York and I guess I forgot to say something earlier. I’ll be in my room should you need me,” I said, disappearing before more questions were asked. I reclined against the pillows of my bed and opened the letter to read.

              Keira,

I hope your Christmas Eve is going okay. I’m had a huge dinner with my family. Or what my version of family is. It’s nice to see friends who live in other areas. The feast is wonderful, and it makes me wonder what you’re having at your parents’. You’re on my mind a lot lately. Time seems to be slowing down and January is too far away.

           It’s like December is stuck, not moving on to the next month. I suspect the 18th will be just as slow to get here. I feel like time is keeping me from seeing you. I desperately want to see you, to be able to embrace you. Will we hug when we see each other? I hope so. Is there a specific meeting place you want to meet? Look at me getting ahead of myself.

             No, it’s fine. I want to see you too, I thought. I had sent a meeting place in my letter I sent to him and gave him another reason to send me another letter in case these weren’t our last letters to each other. I chose Central Park because it was something familiar. I would have chosen my favorite coffee shop, but I wasn’t sure if he’d be able to find it or if it would be crowded. I wanted to be able to talk to him in a quiet atmosphere. I started to ask if he’d like to come to my apartment, but there was a part of me that thought I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off of him.

              I’m thinking of the future with you. I think it’ll be a good one. You might be wondering what’s got me thinking about it. I’ve thought of a wedding and everything. Something exciting and beautiful happened tonight. My friend Natasha and Wand got engaged tonight. It was romantic and perfect. Especially with those two. They’ve been together for three years, falling deeper in love. It was time for them. It made me lonely, though.

           I’m not jealous. That’s not it. I…I just really want you here in my arms. I want to kiss you, to hold you. I want to be able to plan out a wedding and a honeymoon. A life with you. I don’t want to be ahead of the game, but the engagement has me thinking about it. Of you. I’ve got it bad for you. I’m not afraid to say it…or write it. I wanted you to know it. I needed to tell you this because it’s been on my mind since the proposal.

             “Congrats to your friends. It’s wonderful news,” I said aloud. I was happy for them, but like him it made me feel a bit lonelier too. I wasn’t thinking about our wedding yet. I only thought about the beginning of the relationship and apparently the intimate moments. Not that I didn’t want to marry him. I’d like to, but I wasn’t there yet. But I also didn’t witness a proposal like he did.

             I suppose you wish to know how it happened. Wanda sent Nat on a scavenger hunt. She employed my help and we hid clues around the compound for Nat to find. The last clue was placed on the ring box in the dining room and she got down on one knee in front of everyone. It was a beautiful speech, and everyone cheered. I gave my congrats, embracing Natasha. I wish you could have been here to see it. Congratulated them yourself. They’re going to love you when I introduce to them. I think everyone will.

              “That’s adorable. I wish I could have been there too,” I said, tears forming in my eyes. At the mention of introducing me to his friends, I got nervous. I knew I’d be awkward at first. It’s how I was when I met people for the first time, but once I got comfortable with them, I opened up a bit more.

             It’s getting late and now I feel like I’m rambling a little. I’ll end it with this. I’m hoping this is the last letter we will send to each other. Though if it’s not then I’ll respond to whichever one it ends up being. I can wait until the 18th and I’ll offer up a suggestion on a location to meet. Maybe we can get a coffee somewhere. Somewhere quiet so we can talk. Get to know each other more. I’d like to also plan a first date. But more on that when the time comes. Normally, I’d like to get the friendship going, but I feel like we already have that. I’d like to start a relationship. I’d like to be able to kiss you, if that’s alright. New beginnings.

 Merry Christmas. Happy New Year if I don’t see you then.

Still waiting for you (a bit impatient, but I can wait.)

Steve

              I smiled. I wanted this one to be the last letter, but I couldn’t know for sure if it would be. He felt time went slower while I felt it getting quicker. With the 18th in mind, I’d respond to his suggestion and whatever came my way with work or if something fun happened that I thought he might like to know about. What we wouldn’t expect was New Year’s Day and the intervention fate would place upon us.

[mikeyd1986]

MIKEY’S PERSONAL BLOG 97, March 2018

On Monday morning, I attended my last Healthy Cooking on a Budget class for Term 1 at Balla Balla Community Centre, Cranbourne East. I missed out on the last two classes as I was feeling rundown and was also recovering from an ear infection last week but I was really glad that I could make it to the last class. It was only the 4 of us today with the others either busy, sick or turned off from the blustering, Winter-like conditions outside. So we ended up working individually for most of the class.

It was quite a productive class today with lots of food to prepare. We made a chocolate Easter cake with a dark chocolate butter icing, a melted chocolate “nest” and decorations plus pull apart herb and cheese bread rolls and a honey lemon chicken. Firstly, we combined 1.5 cups of plain flour, 1 cup of caster sugar, 4 tablespoons of cocoa powder, 1 teaspoon of bicarb soda, 1/2 teaspoon of salt, 1 cup of water, 1/3 cup of vegetable oil and 2 tablespoons of white vinegar into a mixing bowl and pouring the mixture into a 20cm round cake tin.

The dark chocolate icing involved melting 180g of cooking chocolate over a saucepan and combining it with 200g of unsalted butter, 250g of icing sugar and 1 tablespoon of milk and whipping it up with electric beaters. Next we made the chocolate nest which was pretty tricky. We used a small ceramic bowl with plastic wrap as a template and piped melted chocolate over it with long strands to make it look like a bird’s nest. Getting it stuck was the hard part as the chocolate fragments break apart very easily.

Later on we fried some chicken drumsticks and thigh pieces in a frying pan until they become a golden brown colour. We then placed them into a roasting pan and added a mixture of honey, lemon juice and kecap manis over the top with slices of lemon in between the pieces of chicken. You can then add some streamed vegetables and white rice to make it into a meal. I always learn a lot during these cooking classes and slowly my confidence in the kitchen is building up the more I practice these skills. http://www.ballaballa.com.au/programs-activities/cooking-programs/

On Monday night, I went to my RPM class with Claire at YMCA Casey ARC in Narre Warren. It’s been about 3 weeks or so since my last RPM class and tonight it was good to finally try out the new release, number 78, which featured a couple of challenging tracks especially track five with up to 8 attacks which tired me out pretty quickly. The new release features tracks including Jamiroquai’s Cloud 9, The XCERT’s Feels Like Falling In Love and Ghastly & Matthew Koma’s We Might Fall. It was good to see Claire making jokes about burning off Easter eggs and Hot Cross Buns this coming week as motivation to keep pushing hard. http://w3.lesmills.com/israel/en/classes/rpm/music-tracklists/

On Tuesday morning, I had my very first Kinesiology session with Carolyn King at Empowerkin Kinesiology in Berwick. I’ve known Carolyn for a year or two now after reading her book “Empowered Happiness” and following her blog and Facebook page. Today was the first time meeting her in person after winning a competition for a free kinesiology session. I really didn’t know what to expect at all but I went in with an open mind.

Of course the moment I walked into her clinic, she instantly detected how nervous I was feeling. This was no surprise as it happens every single time I meet somebody new or have a new experience. Kinesiology is the science of energy balancing and combines several different areas including Chinese medicine, anatomy and physiology. After she asked me to fill out a new client form and I talked about my mental health issues and recent diagnosis of High Functioning Autism, she got me to lie down on the bed.

She started doing some energy readings through my right hand and arm whilst explaining what was she doing and picking up. The biggest ones were feeling overwhelmed, shattered (doing too many things at once), stressed and internally angry. She also used some essential oils on my feet, hands and back of my neck as well as giving me my first crystal, a black obsidian, which is said to be a protective stone which absorbs negative energies.

I found it very easy to talk to her despite being nervous and reserved as we have very similar backgrounds. Both being diagnosed with depression. Both worked at very stressful and demanding jobs for a long period of time. Both very sensitive, gentle and kind hearted people. So I knew that she of all people would understand what I’ve been going through with work, family life, friendships, money struggles, being worried about the future and where my life is heading.

She gave me a large amount of advice and suggestions which I gracefully accepted and took on board with me. This includes walking bare foot on the grass or sand (grounding), keeping up with my writing and creative projects (write and burn, appreciation journal), trying out a boxing class to release anger and negative emotions, making a list of everything I’m doing and ranking their importance, making and using a worry box and surrounding myself with a white bubble to help deal with protecting myself from other people’s energies.

Of course some people wouldn’t be as open minded as I am towards an alternative therapy like kinesiology and Carolyn herself admits that she’s not a doctor but I like giving new things a go and this has been in the back of my mind for about a couple of years now. It wasn’t a rash decision and really a lot of Carolyn’s suggestions do make sense and are helpful when it comes to improving my life. Whether you believe in religion, spirituality or energy is quite frankly irrelevant if you’re striving for positive change within yourself, which I am. http://www.empowerkin.com.au/kinesiology.html

On Tuesday afternoon, I had my second session for Phase 1 of my Employ Your Mind course at WISE Employment Cranbourne. Thankfully the office Ally and I were in held a lot more privacy than the one I was in last week (notoriously called “the fish bowl”) so I didn’t have the distraction of people looking at me through a pane of glass. This week we looked at what Cognitive Remediation does and I completed a Dialogue of Working Ability (DWA) self-assessment which looks at the strengths and weaknesses in relation to work.

It’s quite interesting doing self-assessments as it forces you to critically think and be honest about your skills in a working environment in a holistic manner. Sometimes it can be hard working out which number to circle but I just try to go with my gut instinct. It’s important because the results will allow me to set some goals for areas that I can improve on in the future. https://www.arbetsterapeuterna.se/Global/Forlag/DWA%20affisch%20COTEC2012.pdf

On Tuesday night, I went to my first YARDfit session for the year at The Yard Strength & Fitness in Pakenham. I noticed how exhausted I was feeling driving down the Monash Freeway with time not on my side as usual. But I was determined to make it to the class regardless as I haven’t been that active in the last couple of weeks due to personal illness (aka my annoying ear infection). It was a quiet one tonight with just myself, Rodney Millar and Mandi Herauville but that was fine by me.

We warmed up by doing a few mobility stretches (walking lunges, standing bear crawls, squat jumps, open the gates) and some agility work outside (suicide running drill, sprints) with some orange cones spaced out. It didn’t take long for me to feel puffed out and fatigued but I knew that I was rusty and out of practice. http://livehealthy.chron.com/suicide-running-drill-8784.html

Next we worked on some front squats which I’ve only attempted a couple of times last year. The toughest part for me is dealing with the pressure on my wrists as you have to keep the bar resting on your deltoids (shoulders) as well as your elbows lifted up. Then there’s the balancing act of having to squat deep enough without dropping the bar. It’s pretty tricky but I could feel myself improving a bit the more I practiced. I managed to do 3 reps at 35kg. http://www.stack.com/a/front-squat

Lastly, our “Wyk” Hero WOD (Workout of the Day) involved doing five rounds of the following exercises for time: 5 front squats, 5 deadmen or rope climbs and a 400m run holding a 10kg plate. We actually practiced doing some rope climbs before the workout, trying to get the foot and hand grip right and then doing a Tarzan swing on the rope. Considering I’ve never attempted a rope climb before, I picked it up pretty quickly. I did need a lot of chalk on my hands to prevent rope burn but oh well.  https://wodwell.com/wod/wyk/

The most challenging part of the workout for me was the 400m block runs. Holding the plate was really awkward as I couldn’t get a good grip on it and had to keep adjusting it. Plus it didn’t take long at all for me to burn out and I had to walk parts of it. But hey at least I hung in there and finished it. I managed to complete almost 3 rounds in 15 minutes which I was very happy with. https://www.facebook.com/TheYardStrengthandFitness/

On Wednesday morning, Mum and I enrolled in a Basic Life Skills short course at Merinda Park Learning & Community Centre, Learn Local RTO 3952 in Cranbourne North. The pink form that we had to fill in was very extensively detailed. They literally want to know everything from my past education history to my driver’s license details, USI number, disabilities and health issues. Plus two pages worth of terms and conditions. But I’m sure that a course like this will be very helpful for my growth and personal development. http://www.merindapark.com.au/all-courses/

On Thursday night, I attended an Adult Aspergers social night held at The Nerve Centre in Blackburn. I was still feeling restless from working late last night and from all the Easter shopping I had to get done today but I felt that it was really important to come to this meeting tonight to try to mingle with a few of the other Aspies. Tonight we played some board games and I decided to bring scrabble as it’s a childhood favourite of mine.

Half an hour in and I could already feel my social anxiety peaking with around 10 other people in attendance. It’s like the classic social event where everyone else around you is clicking and making conversation and you’re stuck in the middle not really knowing what to do. However, I did make the effort to drive all the way out to Blackburn for this and wanted to stay for at least an hour. Once again, the men’s toilets would act as my “safe room”.

Thankfully I didn’t need it nor did I have to slip out and bolt for the exit. It only took Ann speaking up to get the ball rolling and suddenly we ended up christening my board game.  Once we all started playing scrabble, I began to relax considerably.  I was sitting at the table with Dave, Roger, Lachlan, Ann and the group’s organiser Colin. Being my third time coming here, I was only barely scratching the surface when it came to names and who these people were but these things take time.

It was fun with all of us trying to remember how to play the game and bringing back a lot of nostalgic memories. Some of the other members were chatting away and having some serious conversations about religion, politics, languages and history but I personally wasn’t interested. I think I was more proud that I actually managed to stay at an Aspergers meeting for more than 2 hours. I seriously didn’t think I could do it but I proved myself wrong. https://aspergersvic.org.au/events

On Good Friday, I participated in my very first research study at Deakin University, Melbourne Burwood Campus. The study was to see how brain stimulation during sleep can help to affect memory formation. It was organised by Mr. Michael Barham, who is one of the principal researchers on the project. In some ways, it was a pretty daunting experience for me having never visited either Burwood or Deakin Uni before but I wanted to have an open mind and try it.

It took place in Building BC on Level 5 in two small rooms: one being a preparation room with computers and equipment and the other being the sleep lab. Michael explained everything to me and got me to fill out a consent form and several questionnaires on the computer about my background, how I was feeling and my handedness.

Whilst this was happening, Michael and the assistant were fitting an EEG (Electroencephalography) cap on my head and attracting electrodes to parts of my scalp. It was a weird feeling having wires being “twizzled” into my scalp with cool gel and pure alcohol added. Whilst it did hurt a little (mainly from the pulling of my hair), it wasn’t agonising and I figured that I could handle it.

Everything was going fine...until I had a sudden nervous reaction and began going pale in the face. The last time this happened to me was about two years ago after having a blood test at work and it’s far from pleasant. Michael and his assistant were quick to act, removing the cap, bringing me a glass of water and making sure that I was okay. I laid down in the sleep lab for a while to allow the blood to rush back. But ultimately I was feeling embarrassed and guilty about what just happened.

I had to withdrawal my participation from the study, though they still generously gave me the $20 gift card anyway. I think there was several things going on: general restlessness, not eating enough before the study, getting myself worked up and anxious internally, having to concentrate on the questionnaires during the prep. I guess it all got too much for me. However, I’m still proud of myself for making the effort to try it. https://www.facebook.com/CognitiveNeuroscienceUnit/posts/1688036141290041

Later that afternoon, I thought I’d give my friend Positivity Andrew (Andrew Hewitt) a surprise visit at the mental health facility that he’s staying at called Upton House in Box Hill. It’s been nearly 20 years since I last stepped into a mental hospital, the last time being to see my late Grandfather who was diagnosed with schizophrenia and depression (mental illness is literally all in the family). Thankfully the staff at Upton House seemed to be more friendly and positive than at that last place.

It’s not very often that I do spontaneous things like this but I genuinely care about other people, especially friends who are going through tough mental health issues. But Andrew was very happy to see me and I could tell he was grateful for my visit. He was staying in a casual family room with comfy grey sofas and a collection of toys in the corner. It’s always hard knowing what to talk about but I tried to embrace the awkwardness best I could. I love you Andrew! Stay positive, get better soon and get back with your bandmates in Distracted By Pink! https://www.easternhealth.org.au/site/item/102-inpatient-services-upton-house

On Good Friday night, I went to the Studio Opening Party of Aaron Petty’s new yoga studio called Level Up Yoga in Berwick (located above Personal Performance Training Centre). Considering this was a public holiday, this could have gone either way but thankfully there was about 18 students that turned up to tonight’s Vinyasa Flow class. It was good to see a couple of familiar faces tonight like Christian Reid and Daniel Cooper. Of course my social anxiety was lingering around like a bad smell. I can pretty identify most of my triggers now: meeting new people, being unable to breathe, sweating profusely, being in small spaces. But I tried hard to push all of these away tonight.

Aaron’s style of teaching yoga is very unconventional to most Traditional yoga teachers. There is a great deal of humour and unexpected surprises like doing an ice-breaking activity (Oh god!), forming a kum ba yah-like circle and chanting “Om” together, patting each other on the back and grabbing people from behind for support. But it’s all in good fun and not meant to be offensive or uncomfortable. These particular challenges are actually very helpful for me who struggles a lot in social situations and gets me out of my comfort zone.

Aaron’s classes are also very physically challenging especially with the lack of ventilation in the upstairs space. It didn’t take long for everyone to begin sweating on their yoga mats. We did many flowing sequences (Downward Facing Dog, Plank, Chaturanga, Cobra/Updog), Crescent Lunge into Arrowhead pose, Chair pose, Bridge pose and Pigeon pose. I struggled with balance and fatigue at times but never gave up. I think it’s also really important to have a laugh during your practice because that helps to curb the frustration of getting that “perfect pose”.

The addition of live musicians playing some chilled out yoga music was also a unique touch as was the presentation of the indoor plants and serving of tea. Aaron clearly went to a lot of effort for tonight’s event and I was really glad that I could be a part of it. https://www.facebook.com/levelup.yoga.berwick/

“In the dark I can feel the weight of the world. Pushing down on top of my shoulders. You think you're strong enough to carry it all? Go ahead, knock yourself out. I keep talking but no one listens. And I keep hearing things that I can't understand. And I see beauty in resistance. And I'm just trying to figure out who I am.”                                                       Michelle Branch - Knock Yourself Out (2017)