#basically any advice that has me doing anything but talking to him directly abt it is lrolly not gonna help me

[semiotomatics]

help me tumblr

please for the love of all that is held dear by you or anyone you know hELP ME

I am in aromantic HELL. the worst situation imaginable. my blood pressure is through the roof just THINKING about it

after a cut bc this got long and I am sorry

so there's a guy at work who. I mean if you want to know what kind of person he is all you have to know is that none of the girls at work like him and several of the guys warned me that he can "go too far" with his comments/jokes, and to tell him off or speak to a manager if I was uncomfortable with anything he said or did. like??? I have been Warned abt him MULTIPLE TIMES

anyway he's been uhhhhh hitting on me? attempting to flirt with me???? honestly idek bc I am Incredibly Aro and also he is Incredibly Bad at whatever it is he's doing. at first I wasn't even sure if it was flirting or just him being Weird. but recent events have made me 1000% certain that it is. however, he's also given me the strong impression that he will either never make a move, make a move in the most publicly embarrassing, personally traumatic way possible.

working with him is already torture bc I never know what weird unsettling comment is gonna come out of his mouth next, not to mention he's always hovering around me and following me around, and I've caught him staring at me too. just standing there and staring at me. idk what kind of harlequin romance he's cooked up in his head, but it must be a convincing one bc no matter WHAT I DO OR SAY to tell him that I don't appreciate his advances, he just keeps. doing. it.

Ive tried to skirt around the issue up till now. I haven't directly addressed his supposed (*shivers*) _attraction_ to me, just his actions. im at the point now though where I think the only thing that will actually make him back off is to sit him down look him in the eyes and say "dude. I'm not into you. I will never be into you. STOP HITTING ON ME". however, the very thought of doing that makes me want to throw up and/or die. if he could just _say_ something definitive (ask me out, tell me he's into me, ask if I'm into him, SOMETHING) then I could respond to that. but instead he's putting me in a position where _I_ have to be the one to broach the subject.

LIKE. this guy has stalked me online, tried to trick me/blackmail me into going on a date with him, touched me without my consent (nothing overtly sexual, just picking stuff out of my hair/off my back or patting me on the shoulder, BUT STILL), continued to stand in my personal space after I've told him MULTIPLE TIMES that i don't like it, made inappropriate comments to me AT WORK. DID I MENTION IVE CAUGHT HIM STARING AT ME. I'm having an anxiety attack just thinking about it.

tbh when I lay it all out like that it sounds like I should report it to my manager. and I prolly should, I know that. but like??? the stress and embarrassment I would feel to go to any other employee with this and know that they were going to talk to him about it and know that I would then have to FACE HIM/THEM is actually worse than just dealing with it myself. plus like, I've gotten very good at shooting him down whenever he makes his (*shivers*) ~advances. I keep hoping he'll finally crack and either just come right out and SAY SOMETHING or maybe oh idk GET A CLUE AND STOP THINKING HE HAS A CHANCE. I actually think things could be bearable then.

LIKE!!!! he knows that I a) don't want to hang out with him outside of work b) am uninterested in dating in general c) find his comments creepy and d) don't like him invading my personal space because I've tOLD HIM MULTIPLE TIMES. and I'm not talking oblique blow-offs or amused dismissal. I mean I say with a straight face "dude, you're being creepy, stop" and "you're in my personal space, can you back up a bit?". when he tried to trick me into letting him buy me dinner I said no thanks, when he suggested we should hang out outside of work one day I said, wait for it, NOT INTERESTED. I SAID THE WORDS. HOW DOES HE NOT GET IT.

anyway. I'm sorry for yelling. this whole situation has me very emotionally unbalanced. if you have any advice for what to do, either directly with him or to a manager/hr _without_ wanting to immediately die, I would love to hear it. I am literally desperate.

[faveanimeships]

hey can i request a matchup with haikyuu? i'm 5'6, black hair and i have a soft korean/japanese look ( im chinese) i dont know whats my mbti but im from slytherin & my star signs are: gemini sun gemini moon aries rising! my friends describe me as a fuckin chatterbox and i seem to hate everyone ( which i dont), good conversationalist, up for anything ( wink wink ) , falls in love too easily, good at math and always ready for fun! hate talking abt my feelings bc it makes me vulnerable! thanks!!!!!

HELLO BUBS YES YOU MAY !!! YOU’RE SO ADORBS TUT ITS OKAY IF YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOUR PERSONALITY TYPE !! I LOVE FRIENDS WHO TALK A LOT UWU AND WTF HOW ARE YOU GOOD IN MATH LEGEND

I ship you with Nobuyuki Kai!!!

(oof our major underrated character???)

You are energetic, lively, bold, ambitious, a stand out individual, but at the same time, you probably like to appreciate small things and also have the desire to discover the world and gain a deeper understanding about people. You mentioned that you fall in love too easily and frankly I think it’s just because you love to appreciate different things in life, and you have come to accept and love different people with distinctively different but interesting quality. When you’re looking for a partner, you would probably look for someone who has this ‘connection’ with you, someone who would understand your feelings without you confronting them with your feelings directly. You would also want a partner who is a great listener, but it doesn’t stop there. Some people are content with just an acknowledging hum during conversational intervals, but you would probably prefer someone who would provide some sort of a meaningful reply when you converse?

THEREFORE, I ship you with Kai!!! Kai appears to be a relaxed, laid back person but obviously from Nekoma (known for their ability to connect), he would have exceptional observation skills, which would be handy when he tries to depict your emotions, so he can act accordingly, like when you’re sad, he would come along and just randomly give you a hug, or when you’re angry he would need to think if you needed space or company, that sort of thing. Kai doesn’t talk much, in which I think perfectly contrasts your chatterbox and lively personality. It is canon that Kai is a great listener, having to put up with different arguments every day and being the middle man of some random squabble. Overall, Kai provides a very calm and stable presence and would be a very very very reliable partner. (A/N: he literally looks fearless >_>?? The boy’s life quote is basically “as long as you’re alive, things will work themselves out one way or another???) yeesh

In terms of conversations, Kai would probably opt to say something meaningful rather than just hum in acknowledgement, which is in this case, amazing so you can keep the conversation flowing. Not only that, Kai would be able to keep up with you when you’re in the mood for random stuff like (>////

Anyhows Kai would probably appreciate you as his partner, obviously he understands how easily you fall in love with something and would probably be a little jealous if it goes too far, but he trusts you and is willing to support you in everything you do!!!

I MEAN don’t worry heS HAD MORE THAN REQUIRED EXPERIENCE TO BE WITH YOU!!!! LIKE LOL NEKOMA IS LIKE CHAOTIC AS????? So plz don’t worry

Things he likes:

1.     Cuddling + you talking

2.     Holding hands

3.     When you’re worried about him (since he’s always so ??? neat and coordinated)

4.     Movie nights

5.     Study dates

6.     Walks

7.     Shopping together

8.     Cooking together

9.     Fruit picking

10.  Spending time with you

I will also ship you with (under the cut!!)

Akinori Konoha

Konoha is funny, jack of all trades, and knows how to handle people well (I mean if he has Bokuto on his team??????) Konoha would be bashful if you tried to initiate any physical contact at all, but he’ll try to maintain that idiot smug face of his. Of course, Konoha shows how he cares through his actions, like how he might be slightly annoyed that you talk so much but then again, he really to listen to you talk. He might disagree with you sometimes and you’d end up bickering, but he’d be sure not to take the bickering too far- he doesn’t want to fight, he just wants to bicker??? He’s also amazing at supporting you throughout your life, be it a trivial or a big problem, he’s always down to give you encouragement or advice, whichever you need most. It’s canon that he’s a jack of trades kind of person, an all-rounder and would help you academically and physically if he needs to. He probably loves spending time with you, but he’ll get you to tell him that you like spending time with him instead and deny all allegations about him liking to spend time with you, which is annoying?? But it will probably be a thing between the both of you.

Big tease, he loves to tease you and poke fun at you, but nothing too serious. He’s also a very observant person, having to put up with Bokuto’s mood swings and read the opponent at the same time, he knows what to say and do to calm you down. Depending on your mood, he’ll do different things that will obviously help you feel better, or if you’re happy he’ll probably say something like “whats with the slap happy face??? Its creeping me out” u: stfu Overall a very fun and loud relationship but at the same time, mutual understanding and respect is present, a very supportive relationship!!!

Keiji Akaashi

Akaashi is calm, composed, collected and most of the time, emotionless. He’s also blunt and only provides commentary in a conversation when he has something meaningful to say. He’s also very observant, logical and a very quick thinker overall but he can be cheeky and playful sometimes. Obviously Akaashi is used to constant chattering (Bokuto will NEVER STOP TALKING) but he doesn’t mind it, he actually likes it. He loves to listen to you talk and he will only offer witty/ meaningful responses when he feels like it. As mentioned, you look like you hate everyone and this is what Akaashi can relate to, and both of you can just talk about your struggles together, which is super cute omg!!! Of course, Akaashi offers amazing advice and would probably be blunt if you were the one who made the mistake, and sometimes it hurts because you just need support??? However, in Akaashi’s case he wants the best to you and sometimes if it’s something you don’t want to listen to, he’ll still say it. It would probably come across as criticism but he’s just looking out for you. Although he looks tired most of the time, but I feel he has enough stamina to keep up with you (>////

Obviously, Akaashi is used to reading people and he knows how to deal with different situations quickly, in which if you’re having either a bad/good/meh day, he can think of several different things he could make you feel much more at ease/ better. He’s a big fan of holding hands, he lover intertwining hands and rubbing his thumb over yours gently. He’ll also love it if you spoilt him from time to time.

I also ship you with !!! Reon Ohira

-       Calm couple

-       He has a soothing presence + super reliable

-       AMAZING HUGS

-       AMAZING LISTENER, QUIET, BUT AMAZING ENCOURAGEMENT

-       CONFIDENCE !!!!!

-       Very supportive boyfriend

-       Cute shopping dates at Ikea, walking around, planning for your house in the future

-       Deep conversations

YEET YEET HOPE U LIKE IT

[relationship-advice]

1/? ⭐️Okay so, I really like this guy, and several people(his/my friends) claims that he likes me too, even before we really were a “thing”. We’ve gotten pretty close in the last months and has made out three (separate) times (last on June 23, so p recently)when hes slept at my place. I really wanna talk to him to clear things up but it never seems like the right time, even though I’m pretty sure he wants to talk too. i pretty much KNOW that he likes me but still, idk how to bring it up.

2/? ⭐️Also I’m kind of friends with/knows his sister, and she recently, 21 June, told me(kinda jokingly while tipsy, but still) that she thinks it’s weird. Earlier she told my best friend that too(while sober)and I don’t know what to do. His sis was kind of a wingman in the beginning and one of the persons who helped me get to know him and add him on Snap etc, but now she said that.

3/3⭐️Idk if she found out about us making out and that’s why she’s acting weird or if it’s just now hitting her that me n her brother could like, start dating fr. Like I understand why she would be uncomfortable but also now it’s kind of too late to “go back”. got any advice about taking to him (and her)?also just generally abt the situation? My friend thinks his sis just need time to get used to the idea, but idk if that’s just wishful thinking since they’re friends💕(sorry this is super long!) ---------------------

Hi, sorry about the late reply! I hope this wasn’t too time sensitive. 

Basically, I think communication is key in this situation (although it might not be easy). 

It seems like you should be the one to initiate the conversation with the guy.  Make sure to start the conversation normally- dont say anything out of the ordinary or make the convo seem daunting.  Maybe just lead with something simple, like “Lets talk.” 

Make sure to fully explain your feelings for him.  No matter what, don’t pretend like you don’t like him in fear of getting hurt.  You want a relationship, and if he doesn’t feel the same way, he wasn’t worth your time to begin with. 

Dealing with his sister is a little bit trickier.  She is your friend, but also had something to do with starting your contact with her brother.  Talking to her directly might help, so I suggest casually bringing up her brother in conversation.  Let her do most of the talking, maybe just ask her what she thinks about it.  Time will also help- maybe she will get over it and fully support you guys when she gets used to the idea. 

~~~~~~~~ Mae