#basically - i’m quite tired and sad at this point

[breakingjen]

.

[jasvtsc]

dean winchester x angel!reader.

dean had been feeling down for quite some time now. he was quieter than usual, his snarky and teasing comments basically being reduced to zero. he was like a shadow of himself, closing up in his routine.

wake up. coffee. hunting. booze. go to sleep. repeat.

and it was like that over and over again.

like he was dead inside.

you knew he was hurting — as an angel, you could sense those things even though you weren’t sure what they meant exactly. but you were pretty sensitive to them, especially when it was dean who was experiencing such mental turmoil. it was breaking your heart even though it was literally impossible. you were an angel, a celestial being too powerful for a mortal to wrap their head around it.

yet you were sad when your favourite human was suffering.

it didn’t suit him. and you didn’t understand why he had to go through so much. in your eyes, he was just this precious human who was dealing with all your questions and things you were curious about. he was there for you. and you wanted to be there for him.

which is why you decided to cheer him up a little. you wished you could take all his pain away, double it and give it to the next person (coughs john winchester), but (unfortunately), as an angel, you couldn’t hurt other people. that wouldn’t be good. and you didn’t want to deal with that right now — dean was your main priority.

so you were limited to doing what you did best — healing troubled souls.

however, you weren’t exactly sure how to approach him. he didn’t want you using your powers on him — he thought it was a waste of time, and he didn’t like supernatural forces messing with him in general. even if they were coming from his little birdie. he had some limits.

that’s how you were back at the starting point, sitting in the war room and silently debating what to do.

you tapped your fingers on the table, your lips pursed out as you hummed some song you overheard playing on the radio while returning from a hunt with dean. you learned to love car drivers, especially the late–night ones, with music faintly playing in the back, as you admired the sky and all the stars. dean showed you so many amazing things about humans and their customs. and you just wished you could bring something into his life as well.

you even debated recreating some scenes from his favourite movies. cas told you about them, but you weren’t sure why would dean have to become a pizza man all of a sudden. so that idea was also put in a dumpster.

you couldn’t figure out a single thing you could do for him. with a groan of frustration, you stood up and headed to his room to simply ask what he’d want you to do to make him feel better. that was probably the best idea. he, for sure, must’ve wanted something.

in a blink of an eye, you arrived at his door. you barged in without knocking, as always, and looked around the room. and then, your heart just broke. dean was lying in his bed, his hand draped over his face as he just lay there. you didn’t know for how long he’d been like that, and you noticed that he was still in the same clothes that he’d been wearing three days ago.

yeah, it was bad.

“deano? what are you doing?” you asked softly, nudging his shoulder with your finger. he just sighed and looked at you with those tired, green eyes.

“not now, birdie. just go,” he said, pushing you away. but you didn’t budge, not even a little.

“no. you look like shit. i can’t let you be like that,” as always, you were being a little too straightforward.

“thank you. that’s exactly what i needed to hear, pigeon. i’m being serious, just leave me alone,” his voice grew stern. but you didn’t care. you weren’t about to give up.

“hey, i did that. i left you alone this past week, just like you asked. but enough of that. you went past your limit,” you huffed and basically lifted him from the bed as if he weighed nothing.

at this point, dean didn’t even try to protest. you were an angel. you’d most certainly beat his ass if he started a fight — you wouldn’t tho — you were too sweet for your own good.

yeah, you were doing a good job proving to him that not all angels were assholes. you were his little birdie, and he wouldn’t trade you for the world. however, he knew damn well that you deserved better than him. you deserved someone on your level, someone who’d be good for you — not an old, washed-up hunter with trauma and plenty of issues. he’d just corrupt you. and that was the last thing he ever wanted. you were supposed to stay his sweet angel forever.

you dragged dean to the bathroom and sat him down in the bathtub. you ordered him to take his clothes off, and when he did that, albeit begrudgingly, you filled the tub with warm water.

dean visibly relaxed and closed his eyes, just winding off the pressure he felt on his shoulders those last few days. however, he opened one eye as soon as he felt your fingers treading through his hair, washing it for him.

“darlin’, what the hell are you doing?” he asked, a small smile slowly appearing on his face.

“shush. i’m washing your hair. i think,” you mumbled, biting on your tongue as you tried to wash his hair. he did that for you plenty of times, and you tried your best to repeat those movements for him.

dean chuckled lightly but didn’t say anything. yeah, you were putting a little too much pressure on his head and shoving it from one side to the other — but he didn’t have it in him to correct you. you were too much of a sweetheart, and he knew you were trying your best. so, he’d let that slide.

as you massaged his scalp, he reached for his razor, planning to shave off the scruff on his face. but you were faster and slapped his hand away with a huff.

“huh?” he looked at you with raised eyebrows.

“no. leave that. it looks better that way,” you said matter-of-factly.

and in this exact moment, that characteristic smile of his came up on his lips. he chuckled and ran his fingers through his scruffy cheek.

“you just say that 'cause you love how it scratches your thighs,” he muttered lowly, leaning back with a cocky smirk as he obeyed your order.

and you just blushed heavily, clearing your throat.

oh, he knew damn well you absolutely loved the carpet burn.

a/n: sooo surprise!!! it’s not totally emo lol

༄♡ tags: @internetitgirl17 @beausling @deanswidow @deansbite @aileenunfiltered @fitxgrld @figthoughts @angelicp0etry @hrtsoldierboy @titsout4nicholas @a1ecmcdowell

[mundoperla]

What about… RZ Michael Myers doing something unholy, like he’s really horny, with his fem friend (also a patient) at the Smith’s Grove? Like in some corridor or smth 👀 Wall sex, whaaat???

Would be grateful and on my knees, thanks 🙏

this got me kicking my feet in the air like a schoolgirl rn

& its my favorite michael??? ofc im abt to tackle this tf😩💜

𝙍𝙕 𝙈𝙞𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙚𝙡 𝙈𝙮𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙭 𝙁𝙚𝙢 𝙋𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

— No matter how many cameras there are, there will always be blind spots.

· ┈┈┈┈┈┈ · ꕥ · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·

you see the title bitties here are the warnings vv

⚠️⚠️cws;; basically public sex, wall sex ofc, michael being HORNY, p in v but i think thats kind of expected, overall that nasty shit (lighthearted)⚠️⚠️

· ┈┈┈┈┈┈ · ꕥ · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·

Despite his lack of communication, Michael made your stay at Smith’s Grove much more pleasant. He never acted out or caused any type of problems when you first arrived, he’d been relatively calm for quite some time now. Always alone in his room, no sound, no nothing, just him making masks in silence.

It was his creativity that sparked your initial interest in him in the first place. His walls were cover from top to bottom in the masks he’d make in his alone time, many ranging from different colors and shapes. Truthfully he never wanted to interact with you whenever you’d make a quick pass by his room to go somewhere on the other side of the hospital, there was a point in time where he found you annoying even.

Yet no matter how much time passed you’d still swing by with a quick ‘hello!’. It escalated to a point where you would linger on the other side of his door and hold up one sided conversations with him, of course him never responding to you verbally. It was alright though, body language is able to tell you enough.

You did all of the talking for the two of you, which all though he never spoke aloud, he appreciated. He hasn’t spoken in years and by the looks of it he wasn’t going to any time soon. Trust me, Dr. Loomis has tried.

You were no threat to Michael to begin with, he had no reason to dismiss you unless he had become tired of your company; which very rarely happened. He was surprisingly as patient as you were with him, perhaps this was his own way of saying ‘thank you’.

The two of you were almost like a joined pair after he had grown slightly more comfortable around you, if you went somewhere—Michael followed, if Michael went somewhere — you would follow. It was shocking to everyone that he’d show even such a small form of attachment to another living being without brutally murdering it. Of course in the early stages of your ‘friendship’ the two of you were heavily monitored before you could be permitted to be in spaces together alone with just a nurse on standby.

��� I’m gonna go ask one of the doctors if I can have another juice, you want one too ? ”

Michael won’t verbally respond, but he will turn his eyes down to the floor at your question.

“ Alright so that’s a no. Sit tight I’ll be right back. ”

He watched you sit up from the table the two of you sat at, disappearing into one of the many hallways. He had originally got up to go and follow you like he always did, but something inside him told him not to, it had told him something else.

He ever so slightly considered you as some kind of companion, but he wanted you as something else. You were very beautiful to him and some of the other patients on your side of the building, it’s normal to think someone is nice looking. Yet he’d catch himself staring a bit too hard when you would do the simplest of things such as drinking some water or even when you stretched and a sliver of your stomach would be exposed. Was it also normal to have these filthy thoughts directed towards a so-called ‘friend’?

The bulge in his pants grew ever so larger the longer he sad and pondered. He needed to ‘fix’ this before you came back and saw. Would you think he was disgusting if you did see him this way? Surely you would.

You had come back to your shared table empty handed only to see that Michael was gone, maybe he’d gone back to his room? He could be tired, nothing wrong with just a quick swing by his door and wish him goodnight.

There were quite a few cameras the closer you got to Michael’s room, just as you turn into the corridor large hands yank you from the entrance to a darker corner of the hall. You’d mentally braced yourself to be strangled by this unknown person, but familiar blonde strands of hair loomed above you, of course the orange mask eased the tension much more.

Michael silently stared down at you, you could just barely see his sky blue eyes behind the paper mask. But now left the following questions, why was he just waiting in the corner? why is he now all of a sudden making actual physical contact with you? Truthfully one could only imagine the worst in the sense of it being correlated with him of all people, but the worst never came.

You’d opened your mouth to speak but you’re immediately silenced by the feeling of his erection pressing itself into your ass. He was rubbing himself against you now, still as silent as ever, showing no sign of satisfaction.

“ Mike- Michael! There’s cameras, we can’t do this here, we could get caught.. ”

Of course he doesn’t give you a verbal response, but this time will give you a slow twirl of his finger, telling you to look around you. There weren’t any cameras that could catch you in their line of sight, and the one camera that was much closer than the rest faced the opposite direction where you had originally been grabbed.

He was telling you it was safe to continue, you were clear to unfold. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t the slightest bit aroused as him, maybe even more. Using his cold hands to slide under your shirt so he could squeeze the soft flesh of your breasts, to then slowly migrate under the fabric of your pants to rub you through your underwear. You’d began to grind back into him, trying to pull down his own pants down as well as your own so the two of you could ease this tension much quicker.

Michael had fantasized about how you would feel around his cock, the way you would squeeze him and the sounds you could make when he started to thrust, he couldn’t live with the possibility of another person pleasuring you instead of him. He needed to be the one to take you, you may not be aware but you’re in fact his and his only. Maybe he liked you alot more than what he initially thought.

Your body trembled as Michael moved your body slightly so you were now fully pressed against the wall with him standing behind you, one hand held you in place by the hip whilst the other began to align himself against your hole, knowing him there will be no auditory warning that he’d be sliding in. You’re not a pussy, you could take him, couldn’t you ?

Both of your hands rested on the white brick walls, truthfully you weren’t even sure he was going to fit inside. He’s taking his sweet time behind you. You’re really about to become his in a dark corner that surveillance could not reach, this could have been much better under different circumstances, but neither of you could chose the have sex in a different location at this time, you’ll take what you can get.

The stretch that followed after an agonizing 15 seconds of the man behind you pondering could be considered as beyond painful, your hand quickly covering your mouth to muffle your whimpers. He can feel your walls clamp around him, gushing uncontrollably by the sudden rush of pleasure. He’s not even halfway inside you yet, but you’ve got his pelvis and a small bit of the floor wet now, clearly you wanted this as much as he did.

You don’t get the luxury of Michael stopping in his tracks to let you breathe before he continues to push himself into you, however you get the honor or him bending himself over enough to cover your mouth with his own hands instead of your own. Now you just had to focus on keeping yourself steady while he takes what’s his.

You’d think he had never hear the word ‘gentle’ in his lifetime. His thrusts were fast yet also powerful, despite his hands covering your mouth small moans still escaped. He had just started yet you felt so fucked out already, your legs trembling, your juices dribbling down your thigh and back down onto the floor.

He fucks you like you’re a fleshlight, dominantly chasing his own high but still trying to get you to come undone as well. He’s intentionally trying to break you as much as possible before the two of you have to eventually wrap up, his hands shy away from your mouth, one to slither down to toy with your clit whilst the other grips onto one of your tits as he continues to pound himself into your cunt like a man possessed. He makes it impossible not to scream but you are aware to still keep your voice down as much as possible.

“ Michael.. Keep moving just like that.. I’m so- Fuck.. ”

Your voice had continued to quiver the longer he kept going, the coil in your belly was about to snap once again. Michael considered finishing inside as some kind of ‘mark’ to leave behind, but he could always wait for another time to have that visual. For right now it was your ass that he had decided on, he’d still get a satisfactory visual of himself on you.

Practically yanking himself out of you just as you had came, his warmth begins to coat your skin. You’re lightheaded and you could feel your legs about to give out as Michael let go of you. Silently admiring his ‘art’, he’d wiped a smudge of his mess off of you with his finger, bringing it up to your lips. It was sweet but also bitter, it was him. He could leave you here to clean yourself up so he could go back to his room, but based off of how you were struggling to keep yourself up, maybe he could just take you back to your own room before departing for the night.

He had taken the time to get you dressed back up as well as himself, pulling you out of the corridor down to the hallway opposite to your own room. Your hand felt so small in his, he was intimidating to many people, but you ? There was an odd sense of security from being this close to Michael. He stood with you for a brief moment after arriving to your room, with him he could have just been there to stare at you a while longer or he was silently examining you to get a clear visual that you were okay to be left on your own now. Could have just been both.

He was exhausted now, but also mildly flustered. So much had just happened and he could barely process it. He’s turned to walk back down to his own room so that you could get some sleep as well, but is quickly stopped buy the force of you clinging yourself onto one of his arms tightly.

“ Goodnight Mikey, we should definitely do that again at some point. ”

You’re hardly standing up straight yet you’ve asked him to.. again, too much to process. But he will take your request into consideration.

┉ˏ͛ ༝̩̩̥͙ ⑅͚˚　　 ҉　　⑅͚˚ ͛༝̩̩̥͙ ˎ┉

apologies if the ending is messy i have no clue how to properly conclude shit i tried my best

[gratelove]

i had an idea for a stiles stilinski fanfic but i'm too lazy to write it and i love ur style the most so here it is

stiles has had a crush on you for a while but you didn't know so when isaac asked you out to somewhere like a theme park, you were ecstatic (he said you could bring others and it could be like a group thing)

and basically stiles helps you pick out an outfit and drives you there but he's in an awful mood bc he's jealous

and at the theme park as the night escalates it ends in him telling you his feelings? idk if that works but i had a dream abt it

It’s Always Been You

I hope this is what you were looking for! I hope you enjoy! Thank you for your ask! ❤️

You stood in front of the mirror, holding up two different shirts. One was a casual red tee, soft and well-worn, and the other was a black tank top that hugged your figure a little more than you were used to. Stiles sat on your bed, scrolling on his phone, but his eyes kept darting up to watch you, the crease between his brows deepening every time you glanced his way.

“I don’t know,” you said, tossing both shirts on the bed with a sigh. “I want to look nice, but not like I’m trying too hard, you know?”

Stiles glanced up, barely hiding the frown tugging at his lips. “Yeah. Totally.” He picked up the red tee and held it up, appraising it like it held all the answers. “This one. It’s… you.”

You tilted your head, studying his expression. “You think?”

He nodded, but his smile was tight, almost forced. “Yeah, it’s… comfortable. Plus, it looks good on you.”

You grinned, relieved. “Thanks, Stiles. I knew you’d help.”

You pulled on the shirt and grabbed your backpack, throwing in a few essentials before slipping on your shoes. Stiles was still quiet, his gaze glued to the floor. You brushed it off, figuring he was just tired or maybe stressed about something supernatural. It was Beacon Hills, after all.

The drive to the theme park was filled with music and chatter. You kept the conversation light, but every time you looked over at Stiles, he seemed… off. His hands gripped the steering wheel a little too tight, his jaw clenched as if he was holding back something.

“You okay?” you asked, adjusting your seatbelt as he took a turn.

He glanced at you, his expression softening for a moment before the tension returned. “Yeah, just… long day. You know how it is.”

You nodded, though it didn’t seem like the whole truth. You didn’t press him, not wanting to ruin the mood. Isaac had asked you to join him at the park, and though he’d invited others to make it less of a date and more of a group hangout, you’d been excited at the thought of spending time with him. Isaac was sweet, funny, and he always knew how to make you laugh. It was nice.

The night started well enough. You rode a few rides with Isaac, screamed your lungs out on the roller coasters, and devoured enough cotton candy to make your head spin. Stiles stuck close but kept his distance, his smiles strained and his comments laced with an edge that made you pause. He watched you and Isaac like a hawk, his eyes narrowing every time Isaac made you laugh or put his arm around you.

At one point, you caught him watching you from across the game booth where Isaac was trying (and failing) to win you a stuffed bear. The look in Stiles’ eyes was something you hadn’t seen before—a mix of sadness, frustration, and something else you couldn’t quite place. When he noticed you staring, he looked away, pretending to be engrossed in a nearby shooting game.

The night continued like this: little stolen glances, Stiles’ mood dipping lower, and your own confusion mounting. You could feel the tension simmering just below the surface, but you didn’t know how to fix it—or if you even could.

The rest of the night was a blur of lights, laughter, and a strange, growing tension between you and Stiles. Isaac was his usual charming self, winning you a small stuffed animal after several failed attempts at the shooting game. You tried to enjoy the moment, but every time you glanced at Stiles, he looked a little more distant, a little more lost.

As the night wound down, you all decided to ride the Ferris wheel, but Stiles opted out, mumbling something about feeling queasy. You watched from above as he stood alone, hands shoved deep in his pockets, staring off into the distance.

After the ride, Isaac offered to walk you to your car, but Stiles quickly interjected, saying he was heading the same way. You waved goodbye to Isaac and followed Stiles through the parking lot, his footsteps heavy and his silence deafening.

The drive home was awkward. Stiles kept his eyes fixed on the road, the usual chatter between you replaced by an uncomfortable quiet. The only sound was the low hum of the radio, playing some old rock song that Stiles usually sang along to but now barely seemed to hear.

You fidgeted with the hem of your shirt, stealing glances at him every few moments. The streetlights flickered past, casting shadows across his face, highlighting the tension in his clenched jaw.

“Are you still mad?” you asked finally, breaking the silence that had stretched too long.

Stiles’ grip on the wheel tightened, and he let out a long, frustrated sigh. “I’m not mad. I’m just—” He stopped himself, his words hanging in the air. “Never mind. It’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid if it’s bothering you.” You leaned forward, trying to catch his gaze. “Talk to me, Stiles. Please.”

He pulled up in front of your house, turning off the engine but not making any move to get out. For a long moment, he just sat there, staring straight ahead, his fingers tapping an anxious rhythm on the steering wheel.

“Do you like him?” Stiles asked suddenly, his voice tight.

“Who? Isaac?” you replied, a little taken aback. “I mean, he’s kind, and charming, and funny.”

Stiles huffed, shaking his head. “That didn’t answer the question. It’s a simple yes or no.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, sensing something deeper beneath his frustration. Your own annoyance was growing at his attitude. “Why don’t you tell me why it matters so much? I asked you a question first. You answer it, and I’ll answer you.”

Stiles hesitated, his expression torn between anger and something softer, something vulnerable. His silence stretched out, and you could feel the weight of the unspoken words between you.

“You really want to know what’s bothering me?” he asked, turning to face you fully, his eyes filled with a mix of frustration and vulnerability.

You nodded, heart racing. “Yeah, I do.”

“It’s you,” he said, his voice cracking. “It’s seeing you with him tonight, laughing and having fun while I’m stuck on the sidelines, pretending like it doesn’t kill me to watch.”

You blinked, the weight of his words settling in. “Stiles…”

“No, just—let me finish,” he interrupted, his voice suddenly fierce. “I’ve been in love with you for longer than I can even remember, and I’ve been too scared to say anything because I didn’t want to ruin what we have. But tonight… I couldn’t take it anymore. Watching you with Isaac, seeing how happy you were with him… it hurt. A lot.”

Your heart ached as you listened, realizing just how deeply he’d been holding all of this in. All the small moments, the lingering touches, the way he was always there when you needed him—it all suddenly made sense.

“Stiles,” you whispered, reaching out to touch his arm. “I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”

He shook his head, his eyes closing briefly as he tried to hold back the emotions threatening to spill over. “I know. I didn’t want you to know. But I can’t keep pretending, not when it feels like I’m losing you.”

His confession hung heavy in the air, the raw honesty of his words leaving you breathless. You didn’t know what to say, but you knew one thing: this was Stiles, your Stiles, the boy who’d been by your side through everything, and you couldn’t bear the thought of losing him, too.

“Stiles,” you began softly, cupping his cheek with your hand. He leaned into your touch, eyes opening to meet yours, filled with a mix of fear and hope.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” you asked gently.

“Because you deserve to be happy,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “And I didn’t want to be the one to ruin that for you.”

A small smile tugged at your lips as you brushed your thumb against his cheek, feeling the warmth of his skin. “You’re not ruining anything. I didn’t know… but I’m glad you told me.”

His eyes searched yours, that flicker of hope growing a little brighter. “You are?”

You nodded, your smile widening. “Yeah, I am. Because it’s you, Stiles. It’s always been you.”

The relief on his face was immediate, his shoulders sagging as if a weight had been lifted. Before you could think, Stiles closed the distance, his lips crashing against yours in a kiss that was everything—soft, urgent, and filled with all the unspoken words between you. You kissed him back without hesitation, your hands tangling in his hair, pulling him closer as if you’d been waiting for this moment just as long as he had.

When you finally pulled away, both of you breathless and smiling, Stiles rested his forehead against yours, his grin wide and genuine. “I’ve wanted to do that for a really long time.”

You laughed softly, your heart feeling lighter than it had in weeks. “Me too.”

And as you sat there in his jeep, wrapped in the warmth of each other’s presence, you knew that whatever came next, you’d figure it out together.

Because it was always going to be you and Stiles.

[pellaaearien]

Hey so here’s a really mean Sandman thought I had...

I just finished reading The Kindly Ones for the first time. (Yeah.) And I must say, it was a very interesting experience from the perspective of someone who both watched the show first and has also been hanging around deeply into fandom enough that I’ve absorbed spoilers/meta/whatever else surrounding the end of the comics before reading them to draw my own conclusions.

Now I have. And I think I’ve come to some interesting ones.

First off, naturally, Neil Gaiman has written the ultimate tragedy. Everything comes full circle, every decision made with the best possible intentions has the worst possible outcome, and it was always going to be this way. It’s a masterstroke, and as I read I was less sad than admiring at the completeness of it, the way everything slots into place so neatly.

Ever since I spoiled myself for the ending (which I’m glad I did,) I’ve read quite a bit of Kindly Ones meta. Many words have been spilled around the subject of “if someone had just SEEN what was wrong...” but MANY people did! Fiddler’s Green. Matthew. Nuala. And, of course, Hob, who Dream walks out on - again - because he’s being too perceptive. Again.

I was also reading the book with the foreknowledge that this is all an elaborate suicide plot on the part of Dream. After all, as Death says at the end, “the only reason you got yourself into this mess is because this is where you wanted to be.” And, later, when Dream says he has made all the preparations necessary, “You’ve been making them for ages. You just didn’t let yourself know that was what you were doing.” To which Dream replies, “if you say so.”

So we have lots of people saying lots of things about Dream, but what do Dream’s actions say for themselves? Because I must admit, reading the book knowing how it was going to end threw a lot of those assumptions into a new light.

Let’s go back to the conversation with Death. Dream says: “I did not plan this, my sister. I had imagined that I would be able to keep events here in check. I intended to play a waiting game, in which, ultimately, no harm was done.”

This I believe. One of the things that never sat right with me was Dream sitting back and letting his creations suffer, if his intention all along was to destroy himself. I don’t believe that’s in character for Dream in any incarnation.

What was Dream’s motivation? Dream is tired. He says so himself. He’s been tired for a long time, probably even before his imprisonment and having to basically remake the Dreaming and since then he hasn’t had a moment’s peace, what with Season of Mists and Orpheus and everything else. I think meeting Daniel planted the seed in his mind, that there was an out. As Death says, “...the stuff you do. Where you do it, and you won’t even admit to yourself it’s what you’re doing.” 

Meeting Daniel was that moment for Dream. Someone who could take over his responsibilities in the Dreaming. He can’t just walk away, like Destruction and Lucifer. That’s not who he is. I think Dream’s plan was to wait for Daniel to grow up some, and then... something. ??? profit. Maybe he would’ve gone to the Fates himself and taken their punishment for Orpheus. (Because he does, as Nuala astutely points out, want to be punished for Orpheus).

BUT, Daniel gets stolen while he’s still a baby. So Dream sends Matthew and the newly-remade Corinthian after him. Lyta, meanwhile, instigates the Furies, so now they’re on a ticking clock.

(I don’t, personally, think that Dream freed Loki with the intention of setting all this in motion, but that’s up to reader interpretation.)

Dream makes preparations. It certainly seems like he’s making peace with the fact of his death. He visits Nada (a small boy in Hong Kong), does a census of the Dreaming, acknowledges his servants, feeds pigeons, examines his properties in the waking world, and reviews various treaties and agreements to which the Dreaming is subject. He is responsible. He’s getting his affairs in order in case things don’t fall the way he expects them to.

When his Griffin is killed, Dream tells Furies: “I can create another, who would not even know that it had ever died.” Cold, perhaps, but very in keeping with the type of backwards kindness we’ve seen from Dream throughout the series. He also says: “This is my world, ladies. I control it, I am responsible for it. You with neither destroy it nor will you destroy me.”

The last part, as we know, is simply true. The Dreaming can be restored endlessly, and even if the facet known as Morpheus is destroyed, Dream will continue. But it’s the first part that’s significant. I control it, I am responsible for it. That part says to me that he would not allow his creations to suffer. He is responsible for them. And yes, he could restore them with a thought, but why bother? If he’s trying to get himself killed, why doesn’t the story just end here and now? With the Furies and Dream alone in his throne room?

Clearly, he’s waiting for Daniel. He can’t allow himself to be removed without a successor in place. Once the Furies leave, he immediately calls Matthew for an update. Matthew comments on how cold Dream sounds - he’s feeling the pressure.

Fiddler’s Green is killed. Does Dream say “I can create another?” No. He immediately goes in search of Lyta, to hopefully negate the wrath of the Furies. A stopgap, as the Furies would find another avatar in time, but Dream is taking action. He is not passively letting his doom collapse around his ears.

He’s foiled by Thessaly (all my homies hate Thessaly). While they are estranged exes, Thessaly admits that protecting Lyta from Dream was “not entirely” to hurt him: she struck a deal with the Three for a bit more life. Hurting Dream was an added bonus. She knows Dream well enough that he won’t break the rules in order to kill Lyta.

Dream is visibly upset by this. He won’t break the rules, but Thessaly’s actions (and his own, by extension) mean that more destruction will be wrought in the Dreaming. Lucien takes him to task for it:

Lucien asks why he isn’t restoring the things the Furies destroyed, but it makes sense to halt the source of the destruction first, rather than needing to fix things over and over again. Dream is at a loss. His plan was foiled and now he has no way to hold off the Furies. And Daniel is still missing. He could summon his sister right now (as he says, “by his own hand or another’s”) but that would leave the Dreaming in disarray, and he won’t do that.

Now to add Nuala’s summons into the mix. While Death will later point out that yes, Dream could have rejected the summons, I think it’s important to remember that he does actually try, at first:

“I must most earnestly beseech you...” That is begging. That is literal begging from Dream of the Endless, and it doesn’t stop there.  “You do me a disservice, Nuala,” Dream says, after Nuala quotes his promise back to him. He tries to get out of it! But Nuala won’t let him, throws his words in his face, and thereby seals his fate. Because Dream of the Endless, if nothing else, keeps his word, follows the rules. As he says later: “If we did otherwise, we would not be ourselves.” 

He can’t just leave his realm like Destruction. He can’t ignore the rules and kill Lyta anyway. He can’t go back on his word and reject Nuala’s summons. If he did that, he would no longer be Dream.

So, he sets Daniel up in his new role as best as he can with the time he has left, and then he takes his sister’s hand to prevent any further damage to the Dreaming. Death accuses him of planning the whole thing, and perhaps that’s true. Perhaps he saw where the pieces were laid on the board and manipulated them to his advantage. I certainly don’t deny that ever since Orpheus he had intended to take himself out of the picture, one way or another. But I truly don’t think he meant for it to happen like this. I don’t see him as a cold-hearted chessmaster, forcing himself into a corner until he has no way out, with his creations’ existences hanging in the balance. I think he had a plan, and tried to stick to the plan as best he could, as the true tragedy spun into place around him: it was always going to happen like this.

Are y’all ready for the mean thought?

Because thinking about it this way, if truly all he wanted was a way out, he could have expedited the process at any point. As I hope I have shown here, to the contrary, his behaviour reads to me as someone who held out until the absolute bitter end, until he literally had no other choice. What are we to make of this? On the one hand, we have Death’s accusation about  “...the stuff you do. Where you do it, and you won’t even admit to yourself it’s what you’re doing.” Maybe that’s true. Death knows Dream, and knows what she’s talking about.

On the other hand, we have a scene, way back at the beginning, with Hob. (Hob who, incidentally, doesn’t seem all that surprised to see Dream outside the confines of their century meetings, given that he thought their toast during Season of Mists was a dream, but I digress.) (Dream also goes to see Hob the instant there’s any inkling of trouble, again, as he does in Season of Mists, but I digress a second time.) And Hob is, as in 1889, too perceptive by half. As Dream is walking away, Hob says:

“You take care of yourself.”

What if Dream went to Hob, knowing his friend, being perceptive, would guess that something was up?

What if he just wanted to be reminded that someone cared whether or not something happened to him?

He gave Hob a promise that he would take care of himself. And so he did, in the face of overwhelming odds. (Odds that he may or may not have set in motion himself, true, but that just makes it more extraordinary.) Until he couldn’t any more. Until taking care of the Dreaming took precedence over taking care of the aspect, Morpheus.

Because Dream of the Endless always keeps his word.

[writeandsurvive]

Through it all ~ Manny Perez

Author's note: first work for Captain Perez from Fire Country! this show became my absolute fav, and I have a soft spot for Manny! I hope there are several others like me out there! Summary: Pregnancy scare leads to a long awaited convo and decisions Warnings: age gap, pregnancy (talk), kinda smut towards the end

Keeping a relationship secret in a small town like Edgewater isn’t an easy thing to do. Especially when you’ve lived there most of your life and know basically everyone. Even more when the person you are dating works for Cal Fire and more specifically, is the Captain of Three Rock. But somehow, you and Manny Perez managed to do it. For almost two years. 

At first, keeping it a secret was the best thing to do, for everyone. You were quite younger than Manny, became friends with his daughter Gabriela, and so close to the Leones, you feel like one of them. You grew up with Bode and Riley, making Vince and Sharon your surrogate parents. Manny respects them way too much to do anything to jeopardize his friendship with them. After all, he considers that Sharon saved his life when she welcomed him into Three Rock several years ago, allowing him to turn his life around.

But time went by. You and Manny were very much in love, becoming pretty serious. Or so you thought, until that day when everything came crashing down. 

You thought you were pregnant. Your period was late, which never happens. You felt tired, your breasts were hurting. This could’ve been just PMS symptoms but something didn’t feel like it was. You thought about getting a pregnancy test, but you knew everyone at the pharmacy. So, you ordered it online and the next day, there it was.

A part of you wanted to do this with Manny, but you were also scared. The baby (and wedding) talk was something that has been avoided through the entire relationship. Him being older, having a grown up daughter, being divorced… Did he want to do it all over again? The most likely answer was no. And this would’ve put an end to your relationship cause you didn’t imagine your life without kids. Weddings could be discussed. 

So, you did the test. Set the alarm for a few minutes, and waited. 

Negative. 

You cried. Bawled, actually. If you put aside what could go wrong with this, you wanted a baby. A part of you hoped you were pregnant. You loved Manny with all your heart, you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him. You wanted to carry his child. 

You don’t remember how long you stayed in the bathroom crying. But it was long enough for Manny to come in, find you in there and ask what was wrong, as he held you close to his chest. 

“I thought I was pregnant and we were gonna have a baby” You admitted through the tears, pointing at the test sitting on the sink. 

Manny didn’t react immediately. Your face was still hiding in his neck, so you couldn’t see his face. He stayed silent for a long time, just holding you, kissing the top of your head. But you could hear his heart beating faster. Was this a good sign?

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He whispered.

“We never talked about this. I didn’t know how you’d react. I still don’t, actually.”

He stayed silent again. So, you had to ask. 

“Are you sad or relieved that I’m not pregnant, Manny?”

“I don’t know.” He continued to hold you but the long silence afterwards broke your heart more than those words did. 

That led to the worst weeks ever. You had the baby talk, and Manny admitted that he didn’t know if he wanted another child or not. “I’m old enough to be a grandpa.” He kept repeating. Technically, that was true. But you never cared about his age. You would try to kiss him and playfully joke that he’d be a sexy young grandpa but deep down you could see the doubt in his mind growing more and more as he became increasingly distant.

He cared about your age.

Eventually, the answer was no. He didn’t want any more kids. He didn’t want to get married again. And you didn’t see your life without kids. There was no compromise possible. So, you broke up. Your heart shattered and your bed always felt cold now without him there every night.

The rough part of this breakup was having to hide how broken-hearted you were. No one knew, and there was no point to them knowing now. You had to pretend. And so had Manny. Everytime you ran into him, you stared at each other like two lost puppies. It was surprising that no one noticed. You were not okay, and neither was he. 

Whenever you saw him at Smokey’s, having a drink - by himself or with someone - you approached him softly, touching his arm or shoulder if he was seated. “How many?” You’d gently asked. His past struggle with alcohol worried you. 

“Not many, don’t worry, cariño.” He’d smiled. You believed him.

At some point, pretending was just too much, so you found an arrangement with your job to work remotely and left Edgewater to visit family many miles away. You stayed there for several weeks. You needed to cut it off to get over Manny. Not that you actually believed that you could. 

When you came back to town, you gave a heads up to Vince and Sharon only. And of course, they immediately invited you over for dinner. You were only slightly better, and had started accepting the breakup. Avoiding Manny a little more should help. 

That was until you saw him at the Leone's house. In his Cal Fire comfy clothes, sitting on the couch with Vince as they watched some sports. Did they invite him too?

Vince immediately jumped off the couch to hug you, your feet no longer touching the floor. “I missed you sweetie.” He kissed your forehead. 

“I missed you too, Vince.”

Manny hadn’t moved from the couch, clearly as shocked as you by the encounter. You slowly approached him as he stood up, and hugged each other awkwardly. He looked like he hasn’t slept in weeks, maybe dropped a few pounds too. His scent immediately intoxicated you. Could this hug last forever? 

“Manny is staying with us, so he’ll join us for dinner.”

Staying with them? You clearly missed something while you were gone. 

While Vince helped Sharon in the kitchen, you and Manny sat down on the couch. “Why are you staying with them?” You asked. 

“It’s—“ he cleared his throat. “A long story. Don’t worry about it. How was your vacation?”

“It wasn’t a vaca— don’t change the subject, Manny. What’s going on?”

The Leones came back with some drinks, to Manny’s relief. But you were not giving up. 

It was hard to focus on the Leones and what they were saying, no matter how interesting, or intriguing it was. You couldn’t take your eyes and mind off Manny, who stayed pretty silent the entire evening. When there was a moment of silence during dinner, you lost control of your own mouth. 

“You’re catching me up with everything that happened in town, except for the most evident thing.” You stared at Manny. “Is there a big secret you’re all keeping from me that I’m not supposed to know about?”

Vince and Sharon looked at each other before looking at Manny. Clearly, it was his decision to explain or keep it a secret. 

“It’s not like nobody knows,” Sharon said. 

“It’s also not that easy to admit what a screw up I am, especially to–” Manny let go of his fork and stood up, “Excuse me.” You all watched him as he left the house. 

You didn’t think for too long before standing up too and following him outside. He was sitting in his car, engine on. You opened the passenger door and joined him inside.

“Going somewhere?”

He huffed. “Like I have somewhere else to go.”

“My place?” You offered.

“We broke up.”

“Doesn’t make us strangers, does it?”

He leaned his forehead against the steering wheel, so you moved on the edge of your seat to get closer, and ran your hand through his messy hair. He only tilted his head to the side to take a look at you. “Talk to me, amor.” you whispered.

“I handled our break up poorly,” the volume of his voice met yours. “I didn’t handle it at all, actually.” his eyes started to fill with tears. “At first, I just wanted to take my mind off things– off you. It was to be one night, one game. But I won, and wanted to win more. And it was sorta working, you know? As I was playing, I wasn’t focusing on you, on us, on how unfair this is.” A single tear started to roll down his cheeks. “I’ve lost everything. My money, Gabriela’s money, my house, my insurance. And on top of that, I don’t have you anymore either.” He sat back properly on his seat, taking a few deep breaths. “I’m a fucking mess.”

You held his hand for a brief moment, before pulling on it so he would get closer. His face rested on your chest, he was trying really hard not to cry too much. On the other hand, tears were rolling down your cheeks. 

“It doesn’t matter what our relationship is, you’ll always have me, Manny. Through it all.” You kiss the top of his head, “I’ll help you get back on your feet.”

He immediately sat back up, like we triggered him. “I’m not taking money from you. I already owe 10,000 bucks to Vince.”

“Fine, but that’s not what I was talking about. Are you getting professional help?”

“Not yet, I–”

“Then you will. If staying with Vince and Sharon suits you, then stay there. Otherwise, you know my door is open. How’s your relationship with Gabs?”

“Stop it. This is not up to you to fix me. I’m a grown man, I can do this by myself.”

“It wouldn’t have happened if we hadn’t broken up.”

“We wouldn’t have broken up, if I agreed to have kids.”

“But you don’t and that’s okay. I get it.”

“Good, cause I don’t. What if I’m missing my second chance in life? What if–” he looked straight into your eyes, “I’m missing my one true chance at happiness?”

Manny Perez went through so many bad things over the years. Being a quite young dad, prison, money issues, rocky relationship with Gabriela’s mother leading to a bad divorce, alcoholism and now the break up and gambling. This man is one of the best humans you’ve ever met, but life keeps throwing curve balls at him. He deserves the world, and all you want is to give it to him. 

You didn’t have any words at this very moment. All you wanted was to hold him, kiss him and never let go. So that was exactly what you did. You moved as close as possible to him, grabbed him by his neck and planted your lips on his. You were both needy, like two junkies getting their fix. While never stopping the kiss, you found yourself straddling his lap before you realized. 

“Te quiero,” you whispered between kisses. It drives Manny crazy whenever you talk in Spanish to him. 

“Yo te quiero mas.” 

His hands were all over you, and yours all over him. Manny buried his face in your neck, kissing and sucking on your sensitive spot only he knows so well, earning a moan from you. 

Neither of you saw nor heard Vince getting out of the house, until he knocked at the car’s window. You immediately jumped off Manny, trying to make yourself presentable. Manny tried to hide his growing erection the best he could before opening the window. 

“How long?” was the first thing Vince asked.

“Two years.” Manny answered. “But it’s–over,”

Vince couldn’t help but smirk. “Oh, is it?”

“It’s complicated, V.” you said, “Do you need something?”

“At this very moment, answers. But I suppose I’ll have to wait. Are you sleeping here tonight, Cap, or–somewhere else?”

You and Manny looked at each other for a moment. 

“I have custody for the night.” You tried to joke. 

“Don’t feed him after midnight.” Vince bent over a little to kiss our forehead before leaving. 

“Drive us home, Gizmo. We need to talk.”

“Alright, but drop the joke right now.”

He knew you better than that.

The ride was silent. Both in your own thoughts. 

Manny didn’t get out of the car when he pulled over at your place, but got him to follow you inside in the end. He had barely taken off his shoes, that your arms were around his middle, and you tiptoed to kiss his lips. 

“This is probably not a good idea, cariño.” He said, even though he intensified the kiss. 

“I honestly don’t care right now.” 

You walked backwards to your bedroom while still kissing each other, and Manny didn’t fight for even a second. He gently laid you down on the bed, getting on top of you. It didn’t take long until clothes were flying across the room. “I missed you.” He confessed, touching you everywhere he could. “Why did you leave?”

“It was too hard staying here, seeing you almost everyday. I had to get some distance, to process and accept.”

His strong naked body was covering yours. His hard cock was pressing against your wet pussy. His forehead against yours, his nose stroking yours, he softly asked, “And did you?”

“Does it look like I did?”

He chuckled and you kissed his dimple. “I need you, Manny.”

“Need you more.” On those words, he slowly entered you. 

Sex with Manny has always been amazing since the first time. He was your perfect match, and you were his. You discovered several things with him, and you both tried new things together. And every single time was mind blowing. But that night wasn’t about that. That night, he made love to you, like it was the last time ever. It felt both amazing and heartbreaking. 

But it couldn’t be the last time. 

“Maybe I don’t need kids to be happy.” You said as you were both lying down and cuddling. “Maybe I just need you.”

Manny didn’t react immediately. You could hear he was taking deep breaths, probably trying to get a hold on his emotions. After several seconds, he rolled to the side and rested on his elbow. “No.” He just said. 

“No?” You looked at him, confused. 

“You want kids. You want to be a mom. I’ve seen you with kids, I’ve seen you cry when the test came back negative.”

“But the thing is I don’t want kids with someone other than you.” Your tone was sharp, because you were getting angry. Why was he fighting on this? This was your decision. 

“For now.” 

“For fuck sake’s, Manny! I know what I want and don’t want, okay? I’d rather be with you, and not have kids, than be with someone else and have kids with them.” 

“You’re sacrificing yourself.”

“I’m making a choice. I’m choosing you.”

His voice broke. “Why would you do that?”

“Because I love you, Manuel Perez.” You stroked his cheek, “Sorry. Manuel Gizmo Perez.”

He laughed and kissed you. 

~

Over the next weeks, Manny went to counseling with your support. For everyone - especially Gabriela -, he was still living with the Leones, but the reality was he spent all of his nights at your place, where he belonged. He still refused your money, but got a second job on a boat to help pay his debts. It didn’t give him a lot of free time or even time to rest, so you tried to make it as easy as possible for him. You made sure he ate properly, slept the bare minimum, you even helped with Three Rock paperwork. 

“She’s my rock, Vince.” He admitted to his friend, as they were having a drink together. “She’s been amazing to me and I can’t even—get her something. Invite her to a restaurant, a gate away or something.” 

“That’ll come, man. For now, all she needs is for you to be okay.” 

“I have to say I’m surprised you didn’t kick my ass when you found out. I know you love her like your own daughter.”

“I do. To be honest, Shar and I have been suspicious for a while, and we agree she can’t find a better man than you. I mean, we’ve met her exes—“ he laughed and Manny joined. 

“Doesn't the age difference—shock you?”

“You’re both grown adults. But can I say something you may not enjoy hearing?”

“Go ahead, Chief.”

“She’s meant to be a mom.”

Vince didn’t know how right he was. But you and Manny agreed you wouldn’t tell anyone about the pregnancy before he told Gabriela. 

“How was lunch with Vince?” You asked as Manny came back home. 

“Nice. I got you those wings and spicy sauce you’ve been craving.” He handed you the brown bag, and you got excited about eating the wings. “I still think it’s a bad idea for you to eat the sauce, amor. You can’t stand spice.”

“Clearly, the baby isn’t aware of that.” 

Manny disappeared in the kitchen and came back with a big glass of milk. “Just in case.”

“Thanks guapo.”

He sat next to you, you kissed him briefly before attacking your food. 

“You didn’t tell him anything, did you?”

“Was hard not to, cause he brought it up. But I want to talk to Gabby first.”

“When are you planning to tell her?” You asked, with your mouth full. 

“Tonight. I told her I’d stop by her place.”

The spices were hitting up. You were sticking out your tongue like a dog, and trying to create some air with your hands. Manny laughed and grabbed the milk for you. “Told you.” You started to drink some milk and your boyfriend got closer, leaning down to be right next to your stomach. “You can’t do this to your mama, baby. But clearly, you’re a Latino.” 

“He or she is a Perez.” You said between sips.

“Maybe mama should be a Perez too.” He said with a huge grin on his face. 

[notjosieyouremy]

every edsheeran book ive ever read and what i thought

*reblog without tags please

update #1: i just finished reading Letting An@ Go by anonymous. the teenage drama and romance is gross and annoying. the protagonist has a lot of strong opinions about peoples weight, especially her mother’s, which is very triggering. plenty of m3an $pO if that’s your thing. rampant fatphobia. i give it 3 out of 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️

5 star tier ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

• hunger: a memoir of (my) body by roxane gay. one of the best edsheeran books ive read. it’s about sa, food addiction, boolimia, feminism, fatphobia, the struggles of just trying to exist black woman in a large body. would recommend

• i’m glad my mom died by jennette mccurdy. it’s so good. i think i finished it in a day. it’s about a lot more than edsheeran. highly recommend. go read it right now

• unbearable lightness: a story of loss and gain by portia de rossi. a gay actor’s struggles with edsheeran. one of the few i’ve read more than once. would recommend

• wasted: a memoir of an0rex!a and boolimia by marya hornbacher. really deserves to be in a class of its own. it’s the best written edsheeran book out there. it’s sad, hilarious, intelligent, perfectly captures the internal voice of mania. highly tr!ggering, so proceed with caution. after wasted was published she relapsed, which she speaks about in madness: a bipolar life. it’s also a very good book but edsheeran is not the focus

4 star tier ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

• insatiable: a young mother’s struggle with an0rexia by erica rivera. if you wanna read about someone who takes fistfuls of bisacodyl and exercises intensely, you might like this book. it’s very good. would recommend

• dying to be th!n by nikki grahame. imagine being so severely malnourished as a child that you never go through puberty. thats how serious her illness was. she basically grew up in treatment facilities, managed to recover against all odds, went on big brother (the reality show), published a book, relapsed, and tragically passed away in 2021. the covid lockdowns were hard on her mental health. would recommend

• the girls at 17 swann street by yara zgheib. semi-autobiographical work of fiction. what sets this one apart is the protagonist isn’t a teenage girl. she’s, like, 28 i think? something like that. would definitely recommend if you get tired of reading about teens and preteens all the time

• elena vanishing by elena dunkle. at a certain point, all these books can be summarized in one sentence: she had to choose between recovery or death. it’s a very good memoir. would recommend

• born round: the secret history of a full-time eater by frank bruni. we love to see male representation in the edsheeran community. he was a chubby kid, turned to unhealthy means to achieve we!ght loss, eventually learns to heal his relationship with food and becomes restaurant critic for the new york times (ever heard of it?). would recommend

• sure, i’ll join your cult: a memoir of mental illness and the quest to belong anywhere by maria bamford. if you don’t know who maria bamford is, she’s one of the best stand up comics, period. that’s not even my opinion, it’s just an agreed upon fact within the stand up community. she’s brilliant. the book is about her mental illnesses and all the different self help groups she joins (so many!). she does go into her struggle with exercise boolimia, though that’s not the primary subject. it gets 5 stars as a book, but 4 stars as an edsheeran book because there just isn’t a lot of dis0rder talk

3 star and below ⭐️⭐️⭐️

• stick figure: a diary of my former self by lori gottlieb. good but i had trouble relating to the protagonist because was quite young and immature

• the art of st4rving by sam j. miller. some much needed male representation in edsheeran literature. and some lgbtq representation. it’s YA (young adult) fiction, not really my taste. would recommend for those who like YA. great cover art!

• wintergirls by laurie halse anderson. a lot of people love this book. i thought it was ok. it’s a work of fiction by an author who isn’t really part of the edsheeran or recovery community. it’s another YA book. i will always prefer memoirs and non-fiction

• fat chance by lesléa newman. this was the first edsheeran book i read. it was assigned reading for my high school health class. it’s a YA novel about a 13 year old girl who wants to lose we!ght. she re$tricts, she b;nges, she poorges, she becomes boolimic. i can trace my edsheeran back to this book. i started d;eting, b;ngeing, and abusing lax4tives as a direct result of reading this material. it did the exact opposite of its purpose, trying to steer young people away from toxic d!et culture. my take away was, i’m overweight, therefore i should be willing to do anything to get th!nner. it’s not very good tbh. maybe if you like YA you’d like it but otherwise, would not recommend

[creative-caramel-coffee]

Update

Hey guys sorry for the delay in posting. I know I said I would hopefully be uploading the next chapter for spiders sister / fics in general soon(ish) but I have a few things going on.

1. I have work for my job I have to do.

2. I am extremely exhausted as of late because of worsening heart issues. I’m scheduled to see a cardiologist soon to find out more which is really sad because Im actually quite young (but still over 18 dw hehe). I went to the doctor and they did an ECG I got diagnosed with tachycardia (my heart beats too fast). And aside from being really tired, I am out of breath and almost faint when I stand up. The almost fainting thing happens because my heart rate spikes when I stand / do things which makes daily life a bit difficult rn. And it’ll probably remain an issue until I can know more about what’s going on and how to treat it. So far all we know is it’s a heart issue of some kind.

3. My both of my grandmas are sick and it’s not looking good for either of them. Which is hard to deal with because of how important they are to me and my life.

I am not giving up on my writing (at this point I don’t think I ever even could if I wanted to ((WHICH I DONT)) it might just be anywhere between a few days to weeks until I’m able to write more (for either my ongoing series or just one shots). Basically if my workload eases up or I’m not so tired / have some motivation I might get some more writing done. But for the next little bit I may be a bit slower in bringing out new works.

I probably will be writing a fair few fics ✨projecting✨ though so … yeah.

And I need ALL FOUR of my wisdom teeth out but can’t until we sort the heart issues.

Don’t worry about me though I’ll be ok. And I just thought I should explain why I’m a bit absent lately which has also been partly due to uni workload (in term time).

Also idk if I have said this but I’ll assume I should reiterate based on my lack on anons in my inbox but I’m taking requests (that I deem fit) for both marvel characters (wanda, pepper, Natasha) and marvel cast (Lizzie and Scarlett but I can also have the Olsen twins show up if you want but not as the main characters).

Make sure y’all drink water today and take breaks.

Also if ur one of my anons and you feel like it, come say hi I miss y’all (hehehe)

- ccc ☕️

[red-sneakers]

Pairing: Midoriya Izuku/Bakugou Katsuki

Rating: G

Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Eri, Bakugou Katsuki

Summary: Katsuki helps Izuku babysit an unruly Eri who has opinions about how Katsuki should treat the person he likes.

Genres: comfort, humor, romance

Word count: 1,020

For @gil-shalossssss as a thank you for the adorable fan art of my fanfic, Go Get Your Man, Young Bakugou!

Check out their cute art here!

_______

Usually, babysitting Eri was a piece of cake. She was such a good kid. In some ways, she reminded Izuku of his younger self: always on his best behavior for fear of being a burden. In his heart of hearts, Izuku was glad Eri’d been acting up today, because it probably meant she was getting more comfortable with him. That said, he was exhausted.

“No, you’re saying it wrong!” Eri stomped a socked foot on the carpet of the common room for the 100th time that evening.

Izuku sighed from under a mountain of pillows, making sure his irritation wasn’t loud enough for the little girl to hear. “What do you want me to say, Eri?”

“It’s not fun if you’re not scared!” 

Izuku buried his face in a cushion. He’d never been a very good actor. When he was a kid, it was different, because the make believe games felt real, especially the ones he played with Kacchan. Right now, however, he was having trouble “getting into character.” It’d been a long day.

“Come oooon!” Eri whined.

Izuku drew a bolstering breath. “Save me, Healing Hero: Uni!” He cringed at his own voice. Eri was right; he didn’t sound scared at all. “My legs are stuck under this pillow.” Izuku realized his mistake too late. “I-I-I mean rubble! Under this rubble!”

“Noooo!!” Eri’s yell flipped into a piercing whistle register.

“What’s with the damn racket, hah?!”

Izuku poked his head from the pillow pile at the sound of Kacchan’s voice. Despite the angry eyebrows and tense grip on his wooden spoon, Kacchan looked soft in his black pajama shirt and sweats, stirring a pot of what smelled like his signature spicy curry.

“He won’t . . . s-say it right . . .” Eri murmured, her face almost as red as her dress. She must’ve been embarrassed to be caught in a meltdown.

“Heh. That’s ‘cause Izuku can’t say anything right.” Kacchan grinned. Izuku’s face burned with a mixture of embarrassment and indignation. He opened his mouth to make a retort, but then Kacchan’s face melted into something softer. Awkward, even. “But he, uh . . . He always does his best. So give ‘im a break, eh?”

Eri’s lower lip quivered. Oh no, oh no, it was starting. Izuku’d known Eri for about a year, and he’d only seen her cry about four times. She held it in, because she didn’t want people to know they’d upset her. Izuku could tell. Eri only ever cried when she thought she’d hurt someone else. But she wasn’t to blame! Izuku should’ve been able to keep her happy. Why couldn’t he have just been a better ‘helpless civilian’?

“Hey, it’s okay, I’m okay.” Izuku stumbled free of the pillow pile. “See? No tears!” He squatted in front of Eri and pointed to his own dry eyes. Somehow that only made more tears pool in Eri’s until they spilled over. “Oh, gosh, please don’t be sad, Eri! I’m not sad. Really! I’m just a little tired, that’s all! Three hours is kind of a long time to play hero, and—“

“Three hours?” Kacchan interrupted. “No wonder the kid’s pissy. She’s fucking hungry, idiot.”

A few minutes later, Izuku, Kacchan, and Eri sat around the circular kitchen table, each with a large, steaming bowl of Kacchan’s famous spicy curry (Izuku with an extra side of rice, because he was a ‘wimp’ according to Kacchan). 

Kacchan’d been right about Eri. She seemed much happier with a belly full of a delicious, home cooked meal. Izuku often forgot his own meals, but forgetting Eri’s dinner was basically a crime. He’d have to do better next time. Maybe he’d start getting healthy, pocket-sized snacks to keep in case Eri got hungry randomly during the day. The grocery store sold veggie snacks, but she’d need something with protein so—

“Quit muttering, nerd.”

“S-sorry, Kacchan.” Izuku stuffed his cheeks with rice to stifle any unconscious muttering.

“Why do you call Deku names?” Eri asked with curry stuffed in her own chipmunk cheeks. She could handle spice almost as well as Kacchan.                       

“‘Cause he’s a nerd.” Kacchan answered flippantly, adding even more hot sauce to his own bowl.

“But don’t you like him?”

Izuku inhaled a chilli flake and choked. 

Kacchan slapped him hard between the shoulder blades, and the flake dislodged. “Yeah, so?”

Izuku wheezed. Kacchan was admitting to liking him? Of course, he didn’t mean romantically. There was no way. But still, Izuku never thought he’d hear Kacchan admit to more than tolerating him.

“You’re ‘spose to call him something nice,” Eri insisted. Izuku held his napkin to his mouth, more to hide his flushed face than clean the sauce on his chin.

Kacchan leaned across the table, grinning like the cheshire cat. “Oh yeah? Wadda you suggest, Eri?” He addressed Eri, but he looked right at Izuku, and the hairs on the back of Izuku’s neck stood on end.

“Hmmm . . .” Eri scrunched up her face in serious thought, as if she’d just been given the task of choosing the number one hero’s official hero name. This was dangerous. Lately, Eri’d been getting more and more interested in the kind of stories where princes and princesses fall in love at the end. There was a non-zero chance she was about to suggest a super lovey-dovey nickname.

“It’s okay, Eri,” Izuku tried to redirect the conversation, “I really don’t mind when Kacchan calls me a—“

“I’ve got it!” Eri lit up. “Honey Bunny!”

Izuku froze. 

Kacchan’s shoulders quivered and he covered his mouth with a broad hand, presumably hiding his laughter.

Eri bounced in her seat, clearly proud of herself. “‘cause of the ears on his hero costume!”

Izuku was at a loss. Surely, Kacchan would shut down that nickname (err, pet name), and it’d probably hurt Eri’s feelings since she was so proud of it, but how could Izuku console her without admitting that Kacchan calling him a pet name would be a dream come true that could never in a million years actually—

“Alright.” Kacchan leaned back in his chair, smugly crossing his arms. “Honey Bunny it is.”

_______________

If anyone is inspired to continue the story, PLEASE DO! I’d love to read it. (Just please don’t useChatGPT.)

[eyra]

Would you be comfortable sharing more about your experience with pmdd? I'm certain I have it, but I feel like it's pointless visiting the doctors because women's issues are often brushed to the side. But every month, the week to two weeks before is hell. I'm here now, and I've been crying all day yet feel empty. I can't bring myself to do a single thing. I've been snapping and just want to sleep all day. I feel like I just want to give up on everything 🩷

oh bless you 🤍 that’s no fun at all. and you’re so right in that women’s health is far too often brushed aside, and doubly-so with anything relating to periods. PMDD is a very isolating condition because unless you’ve got it, it’s so easy to dismiss it as “just PMS” and I find that so frustrating and upsetting.

basically: I had very easy periods all through my 20s and fairly good overall health. then in my early 30s (I’m 34 now) I kept having these bouts of feeling physically unwell, like I kept feeling as if I had a bad cold that I never quite managed to shake, and I was so tired and low energy all the time. I went to the doctor in summer 2022 and summer 2023, both times just telling them that I felt as if I couldn’t get well. I had various rounds of blood tests and scans and stuff and they eventually told me it was long covid and that there was nothing to be done other than get on with it. then towards the end of last year I started having moments of feeling desperately low emotionally - usually signposted by a few days of properly overreacting to stuff, which isn’t like me, and it would then descend into a few days of feeling very sad and not myself. I noticed that this was always happening in the days leading up to my period, so I just dismissed it as PMS, but then - as the emotional stuff was getting worse - I noticed that all the physical stuff was lining up with my cycle too. it got to the point where I was losing days and days every month to headaches and unbearable fatigue and I also just felt fully insane so I finally went back to the doctor and said I think all this stuff is related to my period - not long covid.

fortunately the doctor I saw that time was great. she took it very seriously and after a bit of back and forth she diagnosed it all as PMDD.

if you’re able to I’d really recommend trying to see a female doctor and speak to her about what you’ve got going on. keep a diary of your symptoms for a few months, literally tracking everything day by day. it’s arduous and frustrating but keep pushing them to take it seriously! there’s no cure and (obviously, annoyingly) very little research into it but there are things you can try to manage it, whether that’s lifestyle changes or medication. it’s very trial and error but speaking to a doc is the best place to start.

worth mentioning that not everyone with PMDD experiences physical symptoms - so even if you feel physically well, it’s still worth looking into.

I’d love to say I’ve found a load of really helpful resources and support online that I could share with you but genuinely I haven’t - hence the feelings of isolation - but always happy for anyone to reach out for a chat.

x

[fandomsandfairytales]

Live reactions to Quigley Down Under

Basically a form of liveblogging. I wrote all this down while I was watching the movie.

Putting a "keep reading" cut here because ~spoilers~

The bullet points are split up by lines every now and then, usually based on scene. I'm leaving my phone typos in there for amusement purposes and adding in occasional brackets for clarification.

[Opening scene in the boat] Oooooo he's got manners

AND SASS!

[thought this but didn't write it down at the time] Very good introduction to his character, effectively shows us what his character is like with one interaction right off the bat

Very Max Way like, helping Cora

Also yuck to those guys

Lol to him insulting and then totally doing away with those guys [my autocorrected it to "bugs" and it's not wrong]

My name isn't Roy - gives off "don't call me Shirley" vibes a bit

This man is so sick and tired of everything in this country not even 10 minutes in

They got a body!

LOL at "we sent them back to England"

Trying to grasp the plot here

The look in his eyes is saying "What if I'm actually Roy?" at about 13 min

Severus Snape voice!! [Alan Rickman came onscreen and said "Matthew Quigley"]

Fancy specs there [about the gun]

Cora admitting she doesn’t know him!

Here we gooooooo

Got earplugs sir?

Oooooo he’s got SKILLS [shooting the bucket from far away]

Knew he would, of course, lol

That deserter guy's got VERY blue eyes

Dunno if Alan Ricjmsn [Rickman] is reminding me of someone else or just himself

Well that was a fast execution

Aha, I think it’s Ben Barnes as the Darkling, a bit [the person Alan Rickman was reminding me of, because of the facial expressions]

“yOu WeRe AcTuAllY IN dOdGe CiTy???”

This guy [Quigley] is such an American

Jack Pearson vibes hair & facial hair

Why are u so proud of your mint jelly sir

Aha more plot

OoooOOOOO

“Your American Indian” I’m going to skin u alive

What is that box for? Oh, cigars

This Marston guy is so rude

Ugh white supremacy

He’s making me bristle every other word

I’m wondering if Quigley is gonna become an outlaw

The tears in his eyes!!!!

LOL GET THROWN OUT

The outlaw part might be happening faster than I thought XD

GET WRECKED

Lolllll at the turnabout

Also the guys being afraid bc of the long shot rifle XD

YRAHHH PUT UR FEET UP ON THE TABLE

Lol they’re trying to ambush him

Of course it was the slave who got him bc nobody listens or expects them

Cora is so brave!

I KNEW THEY WERE GONNA THROW TJEM TOFETJER

enemies to lovers via being dumped in the desert, let’s go

Stunning landscape

Oh no, he doesn’t have his gun. Sad

Those rickety wagon wheels!

LOL the whisper

Oooooo he’s gonna knife em

Oh he put down the gun. Big mistake

Cool theme!!! The music!

YES HE CAN SHOOT FROM THERE

YOU CAN DI IT MISRER WYIGKEY

he’s giving beat up Walt Longmire

“On a new job it’s quite common for things not to go well at first” 😂 love how they both laugh

Also she’s lowkey giving Mallory from Studio C character vibes

The way she just leaves the hoop there on the ground

Also serious Thorne and Cress vibes

Had that the moment they said “dump them in the desert” They’re really dying ooof

You’re not just going to LEAVE HER THERE ARE U Of course not. Bc you’re a man with morals

Ouch that sunburn doesn’t look fun

This is also giving Walt Longmire dragging Henry through the desert

The moon!!!

They so want us to think it’s Quigley and Cora [the two people the British guys brought in]

Nope, lol

Aha!!! The guys he killed

Lol GET WRECKED

Aboriginal people!

That shot of the silhouettes against the sun is beautiful

Interesting

More Max Way chivalry vibes! “You okay?”

“The shady side of dead” is a cool phrase

Lolll to the kangaroo bit

Oh, grubs

Her accent is making me think of Ed in the movie where they take the babies [Raising Arizona]

“I don’t eat things that are still moving” then kill it first

Cool montage!

Cora backstory??!

The slow zoom in on her is so nice

Wait. Did she actually kill her baby? The poor woman

Dang

SGE WAS TRYINH TO SAVE HER AND THE BABY!!?!!!!!!!

“I know, cause I watched him leave” ughhhh (around 50 mins in)

This poor man just got trauma dumped on

Oh they’re gone!

Is he playing along with her?!

Oh NOOOOO

The way she’s running even if she can’t do anything. She cares so fiercely

Those guys deserve to die

GET RHEM GET THEMMMMM

Lolll yeah she’s not making this any easier for him

Yay he did good!!!!

This man is like Walt Longmire and Jack Pearson combined

“Are you trying to get your head blown off?” Lowkey Riser and Billie vibes to me

Oh 😭

“I could’ve used some help up there” wdym? she didn’t have a weapon

Awww the hand over her hands

Her smile looks like the aww yeah lady

Literally burst out laughing at “I’m cold.” I see EXACTLY what you’re trying to do there sweetheart

LOL to the flirtation

Oh she’s taking her corset off

He’s sweet

LOL

“Matthew”

“I’m not sharing my bed til I know who’s in it” completely and legitimately fair and you should be that way

This is a man hard pressed to deal with her

So very American Cowboy looking at 57 min

Interestinggggg about her not remembering the night before

I feel like O’Flynn’s going to become more important or something

“Not again!!!” Spider-Man school teacher vibes

And something else too I think ^

“Matthew Quigley is really starting to annoy me.” GOOD

The whole “are we lost” exchange was interesting and amusing, you can see him starting to get it

NOOOO

IM GOING TO KILL THEM TOO Idc that it’s a movie

GOOD THOSE MEN SHOULD FALL

I love Cora so much. Her compassion is beautiful

He feels it too even though he doesn’t say anything

I hope she gets to kill someone too

Lol his sass

“Or I’ll let you live” what a threat

“It’s only 20 miles past the bingabong!”

“You only got one shot left in that shooter. Make the most of it” WOW

Don’t worry Cora I’m sure he’s fine

My heart is going to break

This baby

Him on top of those rocks is a cool sight

This is really turning into that movie with Ed and Hi, isn’t it, lol

I like the lighting in that cave

Hmmmmm Idk if it’s a good idea to leave her alone

I’m scared she’s gonna get kidnapped

“You’re the only man on this continent that would ask me what I think” oh man

Awww “little bit”

The deadpan stare at her asking to find her some other clothes

Very American Cowboy of him galloping off. This is the first time he’s actually been alone since getting here

YEAHHHH RIDE HARD

TJE EPIC MUSIC

Yah! Yah! Get your woman and the baby sustenance!!!

Missed where the long coat came from

Definitely a Longmire shot of him on his horse

Cowboy town here

Doc Brown lookin guy

“She ain’t my woman” yeah yeah they all say that

I’ve been called a lot of things ma’am but never that - Riser way vibes

NO NOT THE KID

Oh NOOOO

Not dingoes

Look at those tails those are good dog actors

NO DONT SMOTHER HIM

KILL THE DINGOES

You have the chance to change history

GOOD LADY

GET THE DOGGIES

Dang I didn’t know dingoes were cannibals

Lollll yes take the gold

Mhmmmm u gotta get back

GUN FIGHT GUJ GOHNY [I don't even know what I was trying to type there)

EPIC MUSIC

He has a habit of throwing ppl through windows doesn’t he, including himself?

FIREEE

Hopefully nobody’s in there

Put your bandada over your mouth!!! Good

Seriously more Jack Pearson vibes with a house on fire

LOLLLL to him jumping syreakght thru the roof

You’re just giving him holes to shoot throuh

Oh nvm he’s out

NOOOOO NOT THE MOM

Whoa okayyyy we are knocking the horse over

YEAHHHH “go tell Marston I’m coming after him” definitely reminds me of something but can’t remember what. Maybe Once Upon a Time “tell the evil Queen we’re coming" or something

“Oh, shut up”

None of these guys want to go, do they? Lol

I hope that black guy does something

Bandana over mouth like Riser on his bike

I knew she was still alive

Awww. She’s back in her old mind. “I killed the Comanches”

And the way he understands and goes “didn’t get any sage hens, but I got the next best thing”

Oh, he GOT HER A DRESS

I like how we see them coming over the same hill he came over

Now giving Court Jesysr [Court Jester which is another movie] vibes with him with the baby

Oh her earrings are pretty too

Uhhh should I be scared that she won’t give the baby back? Oh nvm

Love the fade to white transition

He looks like a general sitting there

Ohhhh is it only one bed type scenario??? I see I see

Oh he’s going off without her!

LOLLL she’s awake

The scene with them!!! Emotions!

That theme again

OH. The way he looks back at her. Tears in my eyes

Nice transition into the house

This fluffy haired guy reminds me of someone

The zoom in!

Oh fluffy haired guy is a Scotsman!! Or something, judging by his glengarry. Not his accent tho

Now I’m wondering. Do horses usually run into their home barn/area and rear when they’ve lost a rider who’s dead?

Lol, they’re all going to be tired, but I bet Quigley got sleep

Alan Rickman is giving me Nic Cage as Hi vibes [once again, character from Raising Arizona]

Is that O’Flynn riding?

Horse chase!!!

Oh goodness. Those poor horses.

“On ya feet ya lazy mongrels!” [Adrian Von Ziegler reference]

“Move you gutless bloody wonder” lollll

Got all the grass on him naturally, you wouldn’t see that nowadays, it’d be all brushed off by hair and makeup

Oh NO

noooooooo

Oh gosh he’s being dragged through the desert?!

Not fun not fun

Knew O’Flynn would come up again

I want that slave guy to kill Marston so bad

“What? Nothing clever to say?” Severus Snape vibes

The way if he stood up straight he’d be taller than the other two—

Oh fluffy haired guy IS wearing a kilt isn’t he?! Wait nvm he’s not, thought so bc of his coat

Okay his name is Dobkin, that’s who he is

“Some men are born in the wrong century. I think I was born on the wrong continent.”

What are you WAITING for???

This ain’t Dodge City - that again?

HAAAAAAAAA

I had honestly really wanted the slave to kill him so that he would be the one actually driving the action here lol

Marston dying in the sand is giving Dr. Brenner from Stranger Things dying

“Never said I didn’t know how to use it” mwahaha

The slave guy is back tho!

Yeah he got his gun!

Wait was HE the one who fired at the other two?

Yes!!! The aboriginal ladies!!! And the man! BE FREEEEEEEE

Oh that makes me so happy

Love the dunking the face in the barrel

Lollll here come the British

Oh he is NOT in the mood is he

Snorted at the guy interrupting the other one reading off that long paper

“In short, this paperwork says we can hang you.”

Oh?? Hmm????

YESSSSSSSS Im not surprised!!!

The aborigine people!!

….he’s giving the ”you were saying?” look

Yay! The aborigine man who was a slave seems to have been the one to bring them back!

And now he’s all alone here on this big ol ranch

Ohh goodness

Oh SHE LOOKS SO PRETTY

SHE’S SO PRETTY IN RED

Ohhhhhh he’s gonna say “Roy” isn’t he

I yelled YEAHHHH

Cobb? I didn’t realize that was her last name

Two, of course, he’s staring into her eyes [not sure what I meant by "two"—I think that was an autocorrect of something else]

She was so right about her being pretty in red

Ooooioooo she called him by his name!

She mussed up his hair!!!

Love the traditional still on the kiss and fade to black, very nice

Catch me clapping like it's a movie theater, lol

Thank! You! SO MUCH for telling us no animals were harmed or killed in the making of this movie. That matters to me

Those are some cool names for the aboriginal group

I’ve come to be fond of the theme track :)

A very good movie and a good way to spend Saturday evening.

1990, okay! Would've thought it was a bit older.

And no ads the entire time, huh. [I figured out after this that it's because I was watching it on the TV at my friend's place, who I'm housesitting for currently, and she told me she has YouTube without ads. I'm SO glad I chose to watch the movie while I'm here XD]

@thegreenleavesofspring bc I know you want to see this :)

[yukine-sakamoto]

I finished The Golden Compass a couple days ago, so here’s some thoughts. I enjoyed it. The world building is quite good, and there’s a lot of interesting fantasy elements that are encountered along the journey that make the world very rich. Unfortunately, I feel like there wasn’t much interaction with any one of the elements specifically, but I hope there will be in the next books. The compass itself was obviously important and the main piece of fantasy in this part. I thought it was a really fun way to write divination that I haven’t really seen before. The fact it’s a a little machine that Lyra has to click through and interpret is very satisfying to me. It felt slightly more exact than a lot of other representations of fortune telling and such.

The daemons were very fun as well. I feel like I’ve seen animal companions done before, and I don’t know if this is the first one, but it’s definitely the most well done I’ve seen. It felt fun and slightly frivolous at first, but in a way that added depth to the characters. However, as the story goes along and more about the daemons is revealed, it becomes really heartfelt. I was genuinely saddened by the scenes with Tony Markarios and afraid for Lyra and Pan when they were almost severed. It’s a really interesting concept to basically have your soul manifest outside the body. I wish there had been more exploration of what each daemon form said about the characters, like what the seagull fisherman talked to Lyra about. Some are quite obvious on their own. Asriel having a snow leopard makes a lot sense, for example. It was mentioned briefly that it was rare to have same-sex daemons, and I want to know more about that too.

I liked hearing about life at Jordan, but I felt it dragged on a little bit. Similarly with the part with Mrs. Coulter in London. Perhaps it’s because I had a hard time identifying with Lyra. I was never much for roughhousing at that age. But it also might be because I was impatient to get to the meat of the story. I do feel like Lyra is a bit of strange child though. This is somewhat true of all young fantasy protagonists I feel. They have to deal with things well beyond what’s normal, and for the sake of the story, have to be fairly comfortable with that. Lyra is younger than a normal YA protagonist, and at that age, I think, you tend to not fully understand danger, and Lyra is shown to be bolder than most kids. But even still, she watched several adults and children die and didn’t really seem phased by it. Briefly sad for Tony but she moved on pretty quickly. And she’s a little more competent than I would expect of someone who had never had a formal education. (Not that kids aren’t smart, they just haven’t been around all that long)

The story itself was a bit strangely paced at some points. It felt like a good chunk was mainly for exposition for the world and the series rather than to progress the current plot. I don’t mind a little bit of that, I mean I really like world building. However, it felt like there were a lot of scenes where Lyra would meet someone and they would infodump for a few pages. Sometimes the character would be sharing a story, but it still felt a little tell rather than show. Plus, later on in the journey, Lyra kept passing out in between scenes. It felt she would be awake for a couple hours to have a conversation and then lights out until the next plot point. I suppose you get more tired when it’s that cold but still.

I liked Iorek, but I’m little confused about what he thinks of Lyra. (It was a bit odd that she started calling him “my dear” at the end too) It’s mentioned in the book that although he seems to care for here, that’s what he ordered to do by John Faa, so perhaps he’s just doing as he’s told. Most of the time he seems completely above all the human bullshit going on around him, and honestly I respect that. It makes his tone hard to read, but maybe that’s the point. It’s mentioned that bears are difficult for humans to understand. I want to know more about their relationship to their armor as well.

I liked the gyptians too. They seemed very friendly and egalitarian. John Faa and Fader Coram were very nice, and so were the Costas. I don’t know if they’re supposed to be Egyptian or what. They never seem to leave the sea near northern Europe which is pretty far from Egypt. I did think it was funny that Lyra got so far from home to this strange Marshland with this strange people who clearly have a different way of life than she’s used to, yet their grand meeting hall was eerily similar to the great hall at Jordan. A bunch of chairs at the head of room where some import men sit and make all the decisions. Not really so foreign then, but John seemed to do a good job of listening to his people and fully addressing their concerns. It’s nice to see.

Lee Scorsby is such a plot point. He just sort of got swept away, literally, when he wasn’t needed anymore. The witches were kind of the same way. There wasn’t too much given about their lives other than a few hints and a general air of mystery. It was kind of sad to see Fader Coram pining after this ageless woman who could only know him as tiny fraction of her life.

Asriel and Mrs. Coulter are the worst parents, just the worst people really. Neither seems care about hurting anyone even kids to get what they want, or even caring about whether their ambitions are worth it. It’s my way or the highway for both of them. The description of their kiss while their daemons are fighting was very strange to me. I had a hard time deciphering the all the underlying emotions. Overall they just seem very toxic in general and especially to each other. It’s very casually mentioned that Asriel has some kind of ability to summon things which I need much more explanation of.

I thought it was odd too how much time was spent describing the Aurora but not the bridge to the other world. Asriel seems to plug a cable into… the sky(?) and then it’s just there. Or something is there, we don’t know exactly what except that you can walk through it. There’s no description of what it looks like other than the fact that you can see the other side.

Anyway, there’s lots of questions still and I’m excited to find out the answers. I’m hoping all the exposition and dangling plot hooks will come together and I’m excited to get the full picture.

[gh0stdyn]

Just a simple one shot I guess?

English is not my first language, first time writing a one shot

Excuse my grammar or anything else ❤️

There’s a lot of grammar mistakes

On your match day

Warning : none I think?

A bit of angst (i think,sorry 😭) , fluff ending

Please leave a note about this one shot . Pleaseeee thank you and i love you people who read this😭❤️

Your final netball match vs Australia team. And Jude said he cant came to your match.

“ But I really need you there for me next week…” Y/N said while cleaning the dishes. “You are my lucky charm , Jude.” You said with a pouted face and puppy eyes as begging him to come to your game.

“ I’m really sorry love, I can’t come to your game because we have a friendly match with Man City at the same day ,babe” Jude said while finishing his meals and clean up the table. “ But I wish you all the best to your team, and come on love , who’s the captain and the best goal attacker !?? You innit? I know and believe you can win the match!” Jude comfort her with hugs and kisses.

Y/N defeated and melted by his compliment. “Alright alright, but I really wish you can come tho” “ You know, everything came out from those lips have always melted my heart and this is why I loved you so much!” You said and Jude grinning like a kid gets new toys. You guys keeping up with each other about the day and cuddling.

As always, Jude is the first one who fall asleep as you were telling about the gossip. Jude love cuddling and he apparently love to be the small spoon because he feels protected when he’s asleep and you didn’t mind at all.

( The final match day )

You and the team woke up early to do some last traning for the match this evening. All of your teammates were getting ready in their jersey and went for traning. Then, the teams having a great lunch and rest as much and prepared for the final game this evening.

( The match )

All the basic things before every game were done . All of your teammates and coaches were nervous as hell and excited to win the final. You also feel the same but also a bit of sadness because Jude can’t come to your game. But you have to overcome and not to overthinking about Jude not coming to the last game and keep calm so you could win the game.

Your team were losing to Australia by a few points . All the fans and your teammates were frustrated and worried about the game . Coach had a little briefing while we’re on the time break. “ Come on , girls ! We have to win this, We have to make a comeback. I know you all are tired right now but you have to pushed just a bit more. We are just behind them by 2 points. I do believe in you to win this game. Especially you, Y/N” Coach said with a hopeful face and you nodded.

All your teammates know that Jude can’t come to your game but they assured you that his luck always be with all the time. As the time breaks were almost over ,

suddenly a very familiar loud voice for the seating shouted , “ COME ON MY Y/N! YOU CAN DO IT BABE!” . You looked up to the seating and you see Jude, Haaland and his girlfriend aka one of your best friend were there supporting you and the team. Jude were smiling from ears to ears when he sees your eyes light up with hope and love when you saw and mouthed ‘ I fucking love you’ to Jude. As the referee blows the whistle, the second half were began.

Now , your teams are tied to Australia. There’s only 2 minutes before the game end. Jude and the supporter are anxious about the timing and everything. As you are about to jump and catches the ball, suddenly the GD are body contacts in the D circle . Jude now at the nearest seating to the court and hoping that your teams gets the ball.

There’s only one minute left and you get to shoot the ball. The scenic are quite and anxious at the same . You calm your self to shoot the ball, as the ball went into the net, both of the referees blows the whistle as the times are up. All your teammates and the coaches run towards and hugs you as a congratulations. Jude waiting for you at the seating with a big proud smile craves on his face. You come up to him and kissed those perfect lips and all of people and the cameraman in the court were cheering for the couple and taking videos and pictures of the moment.

“ I thought you couldn’t make it, Jude!” You said and lightly punched his chest. “ Well, actually love, I lied to you” Jude said with a big grin. “ You what?! You dirty little liar! You lied to me about the friendly match?” You are gobs smack and laughing at him. “ Well actually the friendly were yesterday and I decided to suprise you here” “ and I am so proud of you for winning the game and you deserve it , my love “ . He said and pecked the corner of your lips.

“ So you were here all time? I mean form the start?” You couldn’t believe you didn’t see him in the crowds. Jude replied, “ Yeah about that I can said I was a bit late like 5 minutes because Haaland didn’t find his phone” you laughed. “ And turns out he was holding the phone for the whole time!” Jude complaint to you as you were laughing at the situation. “ But , I’m sorry that I couldn’t make it on time, my love” . He said with a disappointment face and you said it’s okay.

“As long as you here support and watch me win, I’m more grateful than ever. I love you , my Jude.” “I love you too, my Y/N.”

The End🫶🏽🫶🏽

Okay so how what’s?? Good or bad?? Please leave your response about this one shot .. Thanksss and luv all the Bellingham fans

[marrowhyena]

Anonymous Coward asked: I heard you mention Dynasty Warriors a few times but your last Let's Play was of DW9. Do you think you will do another "Warriors" game on the channel, like the upcoming DW Origins?

New Dynasty Warriors after all this time is a jump scare lol. I played a LOT of Dynasty Warriors as a teenager, so I look back fondly on it, but overall what I value in games has changed a lot since back then.

On the channel I covered Hyrule Warriors (my first Zelda game on the channel lol), which seemed gimmicky and short enough to risk playing, and I did a co-op playthrough of Arslan: The Warriors of Legend. Back on our channel "The SaD Games" I played some Samurai Warriors 4 with Andrew, which I figure is probably their best game so far.

The thing is, the way I used to play Dynasty Warriors games was kinda like how people play, idk, Warframe today. It's inherently repetitive, methodical, and meditative. So I'm not really into the idea of doing a playthrough of one of their games again because there's inherently almost nothing to say. You're often literally doing one combo over and over again for hours lol. I got suckered into trying DW9 because it seemed like it might be an interesting re-invention, but in reality it was the same tired gameplay but without the satisfaction of solving a compact level. There's a Dead Rising / Pathologic vibe to DW levels where your precise actions aren't super involved so they become all about your long term decision-making: the route that you're taking as you PowerWash Simulator across the map. SW4 took this concept in the coolest direction by having you control two characters at once and switch between them, giving you the satisfaction of being able to juggle two routes at once. But you need defined levels. Open world ruined Dynasty Warriors 9 the same way that it ruins basically everything, so I quit.

At this point I feel like I'd only really consider covering one of the games as a co-op experience because at least then we're hanging out and talking about stuff with the game as background noise. That's how I experienced a lot of the series: as local split-screen games. But now we have stuff like Satisfactory etc, so who needs it?

I know nothing about Dynasty Warriors Origins really, but it's single-player only, so that's out the window. I guess I'd have to see if the game reinvents the formula in a way that might be interesting on a more moment-to-moment level. But I kind of doubt it? Until I see otherwise I find it safe to assume that it'd be boring to watch and not that great to commentate over, so I'd rather spare myself the commitment.

[Smile or comment on the answer here](https://retrospring.net/@Boring_Keith/a/113239208149199313)

[marengogo]

5: Marengo & The Rainbow Avengers

Take Two - by BTS  

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

–🐺–🐺–🐺–

I meant to post this yesterday, in honour of their birthday, but, 24 hours never seem to be quite enough do they? So, here it is, the SUPER-LONG-DETAIL story of how Marengo was unexpectedly saved by 7 Rainbow Avengers, also known as BTS.

CHAPTER 1: MY HEART WAS BROKEN

The date was January 27; 2019. ARASHI japanese boy band that debuted in 1999 got together and in front of a well organised, and somewhat serene, press setting, televised to their fans all over the world including myself, announced that they would go on an indefinite hiatus starting January 1, 2021. Not sure why I wasn't expecting this. This was the first time they every did something like this, and the tell-tell signs had been plenty, but still, had I been ready, it still would have hit as hard as it did.

I remember silently crying, as Ohno their leader and my bias, who is the one in the middle of the above picture spoke and told us how, basically. he was tired and just wanted to spend his time on his boat fishing his days away. Fishing had always been his passion, but he also always dreamed of becoming the captain of his own ship Monkey D. Luffy watch out!. ARASHI had quite a few of their own shows and in one of them (Arashi Ni Shiayagare) we the fans, and the other members, got to cheer him on as he studied to get a licence to drive a boat. He succeeded, got his boat and for the rest of that year’s show he’d take us on adventures with his boat, fishing with famous Japanese celebrities as guests it was still a show after all. Every time he was on his boat he looked so fucking happy. So when he finally made the announcement, yes, I was shocked, yes, I was distraught, but ultimately I was happy for him. Just a whole STORM arashi means storm of emotions really. 

You need to understand, at that point, I had been their fan since 2009. If my Japanese is at the level it is right now, 1/10 of it is definitely thanks to them, since I used to regularly translate all their songs, dramas, shows, etc. To imagine I only started listening to them as a fun way to help me study Japanese … Anyways, back on track … their announcement happened on my 10 year anniversary (their 20th) and I remember the following day coming back from work, with their music in my ears, stopping at a traffic light wanting to cry as I kept thinking about them and right in that moment, I looked up at the big screen and so the following ad:

That evening was the first time I actually EVER seen the boys. Before that evening I had only  heard about them, A LOT,  and now in hindsight I know why. The first time had been some time in 2017, while I was looking for japanese articles to translate, I happened upon one that was about ARASHI, obviously, I got super excited and decided to read it. Only to find out how this journalist was basically describing why according to him ARASHI stood no comparison against this 7 boy band sensation “called BTS”. I was so irritated by that article I didn’t even bother to read their country of origin and for the longest time I decided they were Chinese 🤡. Mind you, I never once thought of BTS even after reading that article, my mind was ARASHI ARASHI ARASHI FOR DREAM! but that evening when I saw that ad I hated them. So I walked away, sad and angry O THE DRAMA! 🤡 but just like the first time I heard of them, I never thought of them again.

2020 rolled in, and just right before COVID, I started exploring new things on the internet amongst which I discovered a certain at the time budding actor and become a big fan not about to give myself out, so I won’t tell you who 😜, Let's call them X. What does a fan with extensive editing knowledge do? Why fan-edits of course! So I started making edits of X, and one day, as I was helping make X trend on Twitter for an event they were attending, on my timeline a particular video kept reappearing. So I clicked:

CHAPTER 2: I WAS LITERALLY SPEECHLESS AND MESMERIZED

Within ARASHI, only Ohno could actually dance, but these boys ... these boys could ALL dance and apparently they also sang, some holding one hell of a tune, and that beat, ooh the entire production…: JUST WOW. I must have watched the video another 10 times at least and all the while it never got old, in fact it only got better with every listen; so I then ended up adding ON to my playlist.

This day was February 25, 2020 and this is the date I unknowingly became ARMY and also the day I celebrate my anniversary on. Now you need to understand, my COVID days were mostly making edits of X, supporting X, trending for X on twitter so at this point I didn’t have the thoughts of wanting to find more about BTS. In my head, I found a song I liked, and thought "cool, I guess I don't necessesarily have to hate them ..." I quickly looked up JUNGKOOK because you don't belt a not like that and act like it didn't happened and kept it moving. 

Couple of days later, I’d start working on my first edit of X which blow up. This edit was was made using this one song I heard on a compilation which was circulating on twitter, it had a “certain dancer named Jimin” doing high kicks. The background song they used was named; UGH!. Sure, the dancer was hella skilled … but that song, I couldn’t stop playing the clip and though it was probably because of Jimin, my brain decided that it was the song can’t believe I found the exact edit!!! 👇🏾

Did I realise that UGH! which took me forever to find as I didn’t understand it was the name of the song at first 😂😂😂 was sung by BTS; as in THE SAME BTS I apparently didn’t hate so much anymore? NOPE. It didn’t even occurred to me because THAT BTS was a 7 member boy band not a hardcore 3 member rap group 😬😬😬. Anyways, I became obsessed with UGH! And as one does when in confinement, I started looking for people who would share my same enthusiasm, and since I had already fallen into the world of reactions on youtube for TV series THANKS A LOT COVID 🙃I thought I’d look to see if there was anyone who would react to songs, in this case, UGH! By the rapper group named BTS still to this point I had NO CLUE that they were the same people… I had to download an mp4 version from the internet in order to do the edit, so I didn't even know if it came from an album or where else and what I found was:

They were hella excited and I really could relate with that because that song always made me wanna turn the fuck up, but most of all, they were black people interested in something asian, and that for me was something I could heavily appreciated. Everyday I kept coming back to watch that reaction because it just made me so happy, and gave me so much energy, so I decided to see if they had any more songs from this rapper group. The first video that came up was their reaction to ON KINETIC MANIFESTO. THE AMOUNT OF DOTS THAT STARTED CONNECTING IN MY HEAD WERE SO MANY YOU’D THINK I DISCOVERED THE THREE LAWS OF EINSTEIN!

You should have seen my face when I discovered that UGH! was on the same album as ON: 🤡. This also made me want to look up the one member whose features really appealed to me the most, not gonna lie to y'all, it was love at first sight: RM. Wanting to know who he was I went on wikipedia, typed BTS and kept clicking every members name until I found him wikipedia has them ordered by age. I started reading about him and chuckled when I found out he was the leader what can I say, i seem to have had a type! aaaand he thought himself english and that made him even sexier in my eyes. When I tell you I spent a couple of days being obsessed with Namjoon 😬😬😬 ...

Anyways, I think a part of me wanted to start being invested, thus, before continuing watching more reactions with FoSquad I decided I wanted to listen to MOTS7, in its entirety, by myself and aside from ON and UGH! The only other song that I absolutely adored was Filter. AND SO began my search for the uncredited female singer that sang Filter, whom I couldn't find anywhere, NOT A SINGLE GOOGLE PAGE HAD THE NAME OF THE FEMALE SINGER THAT SANG FILTER ON ONE OF THE BIGGEST ALBUMS OF THE YEAR. For a couple of days this is what my google search looked like “What is the name of the female singer that sings Filter with BTS”. … 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

CHAPTER 3: A THREE MONTHS BLINK

Not finding an answer with regards to the mysterious Filter Singer and also concluding that the internet was still so lacking on proper representation of Asian artists, rather than me being the one who was dumb AF, I went continued my supporting X life, while constantly listening to ON, UGH! and Filter. Eventually, it was time to make another X edit, meaning I needed to search for new songs and since X was obsessed with BlackPink I decided to give them a chance and at the time the most recent song was SOUR CANDY feat. Lady Gaga. It was very Gagaish I just so happen to really like Gaga and the beat was perfect for editing, so I used it. On top of that, I joined X's I don't remember how many days countdown to the premiere of “How You Like That”. As I said, X was obsessed with BlackPink, hence, I became a Blink for 3 months.

The day How You Like That dropped I was just as excited as X and at the time I was staying with my directors at their place and they became my "covid bubble". The 3 of us were trying to save our company during COVID inactivity, which meant that during the mornings it was an incessant string of calls with lawyers, with rightfully desperate landlords chasing for money we didn’t have, third parties also needed money we didn't have ... basically, just a whole lot of heavy grinding. But in the evening, we'd cook dinner and we’d all watch a movie once we had quickly gone through the most recent Queer Eye season, even Queer Eye in Japan! and after they’d go to bed, I’d step up, talking with my X Twitter GC, while watching other shows and right before going to bed I'd watch How You Like That to get my spirits ready for the next day.

This was my routine at their house, every day from the release of that song, for a good 2 months. When August rolled around I decided to go back home, as the situation with the company seemed at least a bit stable. So it was back to self-distancing by myself and to my own surprise I didn’t feel the urge to listen to BlackPink at all. X was all that really mattered after all, and they had stopped talking about them, for the time being. So one early ass morning on August 21, 2020 I just so happened to be awake and twitter was buzzing with people waiting for a new BTS song to drop. As I was already awake and had another hour waiting for X to appear at their interview event, I decided to silently wait with ARMY; I did like ON after all. Thus, came Dynamite

CHAPTER 4: LIKE AN ECHO IN THE FOREST

It was nothing like ON. So at first I was a bit confused and didn't know what to think, as it was clear that I hadn't understood their genre. Yet, somehow, that boy winking at me at the end of the MV kept making me want to replay the song and before I knew it I was “shining through the city with a little funk and so-oul!”. Eventually, I looked him up and found out that the cute boxy smile boy with the light blue outfit’s name was V. Just as easy a name to remember as RM. By all means, he wasn’t RM, but that smile just was the cheekiest thing I had seen in a while.

But there was another person that was also FINALLY "introduced" to me through this video, the one who was my mysterious female voice and "UGH! dancer": JIMIN. Not sure why it didn’t connect with ON but the second I heard his voice in Dynamite DOTS WERE CONNECTING LEFT AND RIGHT, AND IT WAS FINALLY CLEAR IN MY MIND THAT SHE WAS ACTUALLY A HE, WHO WAS PRETTIER THAN A SHE AND SANG & DANCED LIKE AN ANGEL 🤯🤯🤯. ... Basically Dynamite introduced me to VMIN. 

It goes without saying, my queer-senses were all over the place with Jimin. So, as i usually do, not at all knowledgeable of the South Korean culture, I dove into the internet to ask and see if JM was part of the community: nothing came up. In fact, it was full of people going to a great length to explain why there was NO WAY IN HELL THAT JM WAS QUEER. Funnily enough, as I kept trying to look for connections between JM and the community, all that came up with connections between RM and V and the community (as they had made posts and connected with queer people, music, etc). The strong denying of any sort of connection between JM and Rainbow nation did discourage me a little, NGL. I had spent a year trying to not fall for queerbaiting and I didn’t want it to happen again. However, as I didn’t want to jump the gun since I didn’t quite know them at all, I decided that even though he wasn't a Fred Mercury he perhaps was a Bowie or a Prince. I was okay with that and decided to close that rainbow chapter at that AT THE TIME, BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW WHERE I STAND NOW 🤡. 

The weeks following Dynamite things around X’s management start to look very dodgy and fishy. As a fan you want to be positive, hope for the best, but as more and more evidence was brought forth I had to start to at least dissociate X from their company. This really made me and my X-friends incredibly sad and pretty disenchanted I will admit. Day by day we tried to look at the bright side but, it kept looking rather grim and right about that time somehow I was exposed to STAY GOLD and LIFE GOES ON. Thought Stay Gold wss the one in Japanese, the one that stuck with me was Life Goes On. I remember walking around the still empty studio we hadn’t been able to reinstated none of my colleagues with Life Goes On playing rather loudly. The comfort that song provided me in that moment I will never be able to explain. Is probably the same feeling older ARMY have with Spring Day. Life Goes On came to me in a moment when I really needed to hear those words, gently and promising, like an echo in the forest. 

As it started to become clearer that X was just as cowardly as their company I took a break from my Twitter page, which also just so happened to fall around Xmas time, so I got to actually have a real break with my sibling away from all that nonsense and into a different more secure looking world.

CHAPTER 5: WHO IS BTS?

I spent a good deal of my xmas break watching people's reaction to BTS, their story, their struggles, their MV. Through these reactors and “BTS experts” I was introduced to SOPE. In my baby ARMY experience they came as a set, Ying&Yang, one the opposite of the other, at least this was how majority of the old BTS edits and explaining videos would portray them luckily we now have many updated and more extensive videos out there. While watching all these compilations I also eventually learned all their names and started watching RUN BTS from episode 1 when I figured out tha utmost of the edits were from there I thought “Let’s go straight to the source, if I want to learn really what they are like”. 

The first thing that became pretty clear to me was that for example HOBI and YOONGI weren’t quite exactly like the compilations had been describing them all of them in fact. And it wasn’t like all the boys tried to act reserved or hide certain parts of themselves, they seemed so open that if people paid even just the smallest amount of attention they would know. So for the first time in a long time I found a group that wasn’t giving me doubts, worries … I really didn’t have to think too much but at the same time I knew that if I ever fell back into being depressed from my post-COVIDic environment, they’d also be able to find me down there, because they didn’t seem to shy away from those situations either. 

Going back to RUN BTS real quick, the one thing that it did for me, was introducing me to none other than KIM SEOKJIN. Before I knew it I always found myself following jin on the screen, waiting for him to talk and say a pun or dad joke, or just wanted to see and hear him laugh … I developed a crush for Jin and a small pointy edge every time someone would leave comments on youtube like “why is jin even in this band”, “ there is a reason why Jin dances in the back”. “Jin is not even handsome”. GURL/BOI/ENBY. Taking a break from X meant I would stay well away from Twitter, so I had no idea about BTS proper solos, antis, etc and like a moth to a flame, I’d fall for any troll and start defending Jin against the world. MFers … how dare they disrespected him like that! AND IN FRONT OF ME!

That being said a person called me a Jin-solo in a comment and the second that happened I was about to reply that "Yes I love Jin-" the implications of being a solo, COMPLETELY lost on my Baby ARMY ass but the second i started typing I immediately thought of Namjoon, and then Jungkook, and Jimin ... eventually I thought of all members and realised that I liked each member for different reasons and I couldn't choose one. Further research would eventually teach me that meant I was 0T7.

On my way back from my Xmas break I decided that I would stop associating with X and just move on with life. On my journey back home we were told we had to be Lockdown again, which really depressed me, but as if it was second nature, I played Life Goes On and tried to think of any positive thing. So I got back home wanting to watch more BTS reactions, while listening to BTS and wondering what Jin was doing. And from that moment on for a good month I’d go into my still empty office but this time knowing we could start calling back at least 2 of my colleagues, which made me so ecstatic sit down with my coffee and say “Alexa, play BTS” and Alexa would reply “Shuffling songs from BTS” and ALWAYS the playlist would start with a familiar whistle …

And the rest is history 😜.

So who is BTS? They are the 7 boys that came to my rescue when I felt heartbroken. The 7 boys that had so much skill and love to share with the world and wanted for me to join and not be left out. They are the boys that never pressured me into needing to like them, but somehow were always there when I unknowingly needed them. They are the 7 boys who reminded me that it was okay to not be okay and just go with the flow of things, even if it is against the flow of all. They are the 7 boys that keep trusting us with their everything and all they ask in return, if possible, is to be there, at end of this gigantic rainbow. And that is exactly where I plan to be. I am so grateful for all 7 of you and words could never describe how much I love you.

HAPPY 10TH ANNIVERSARY MY RAINBOW AVENGERS.

Always incredible respectfully yours,

Marengo. 

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN ー Ruki Maniac [02]

CHAPTER MASTERLIST

ー The scene starts in the guest room at the Sakamaki castle

Ruki: ...

Yui: ( ...Seems like Ruki-kun is absorbed in reading. )

( I’m starting to get a little sleepy, but if Ruki-kun won’t go to bed yet, I’ll stay up as well. )

( I want to try and spend as much time awake as possible after all. Butーー )

Pwaaah...

( Ah! I yawned...! )

Ruki: ーー Are you tired? I don’t mind if you head to bed before me. 

Yui: ...But you’re still gonna be up, right?

Ruki: Yes, I want to read through a bit more of this book after all.

Yui: I’ll stay awake a bit longer as well then. ...That’s what I want.

Ruki: ...So basically it’s my fault that you won’t get enough sleep? You make everything too complicated.

Selection

→ You’re wrong...! (M)

Yui: Y-You’re wrong...! I just want to stay awake with you, that’s all. 

Ruki: However, the point remains that you won’t go to bed unless I do, right?

Yui: ...I’m sorry. It was never my intention to put you in a tough spot...

Ruki: Then go to bed before me. Don’t make me repeat myself.

→ I want to stay up, that’s all. (S)

Yui: I just want to stay awake a bit longer, that’s all. So it’s not your fault.

Ruki: I see. ...You really think I would buy that?

Yui: Eh?

Ruki: You sure have some nerve to make it sound like you’re not doing it to keep me company, almost as if you’re ignoring me instead.

Yui: That wasn’t the intentーー 

Ruki: Don’t make me repeat myself. Don’t mind me and go to bed already. 

Yui: I’ll be quiet...So please, let me stay with you.

*Thud* 

Ruki: ...I see. I wanted to give you a choice, but I suppose that was unnecessary. 

Yui: Eh...?

Ruki: Come here. ...I shall lull you to sleep in no time.

ー Ruki pins her down

*Thud* 

Yui: ( ...He pinned me down on the bed!? )

Ruki: If you refuse to listen to what I say, I suppose I’ll have no other choice but to force you to bed.

Yui: No way...!

Ruki: If I do this, you’ll drift off into a slumber in no time. Nn...Phew...Nnh.

ー Ruki bites her

*Rustle rustle* 

Yui: Ah...!

( He thrust his fangs all the way in out of nowhere, it feels hot...! )

*Rustle rustle* 

Ruki: Seems like someone is enjoying that quite a bit...Starting to feel a bit drowsy already?

Yui: Stop...this...!

Ruki: Unfortunately for you, I do not intend to stop...Nn...

Yui: ( ...He keeps on sucking my blood... )

I’m begging you, Ruki-kun...At this rate, I’ll...! 

( If he keeps going at this pace...My body has already gone completely limp. )

( It’s almost as if he’s venting off his feelings...It’s sad. )

( I can feel my consciousness ーー slipping... )

*Rustle rustle*

ー Yui loses consciousness

Ruki: ーー So you have finally lost consciousness, huh? ...Good grief, you’re quite the handful, making me do all of this just to get you to rest.

...I know it’s out of character for me but whenever she says something cute, I feel a sense of joy. ...I can’t help but find that side of myself laughable. 

There’s honestly times where your straightforwardness...terrifies me. 

However...At other times, it’s what saves me.

...Goodnight, Yui. Sweet dreamsーー 

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー