#based on the thought of him absolutely smelling fancy candles so he can buy the one he thinks youd most like

[reveluving]

Girl tell me why I had a jdm dream where he asked me to do butt stuff w him and I said yeah and we enjoyed it a lot? 🤨

*sighing and taking out my card* 💳💥💳💥💳💥💳

sweet velvet ; jeffrey dean morgan characters x female reader

includes: s~mut obv (minors DNI!), bits of both soft & mean!doms & loads of possessive/lovestruck JDM chars!

a/n: I could never get this ask out of my head since, is all I can say to y'all hsjdhssk PLEASE, I can't thank you enough for feeding into my JDM thirst, and I encourage y'all reading this to do the same because I can never get enough of this man UGHHH and pls don’t forget to leave some sugar! ᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟ❤️

fancy reading something new? check out my full m.list!

char. include: joe kessler (the boys), negan smith (twd), max (the resident '11), john winchester (supernatural, hear me out), ike evans (magic city), patrick sullivan (the accidental husband), & luke vaughn (heist 2015)!

smut includes: husband!jdm char., unprotected s~ex (p/fingers in v), size kink, plugs (on f!reader), spitting k~ink, cunnilingus & a~ss eating, stockings/heels, c~ckwarming, mirror k~ink, edging, mentions of overstimulation and sq~uirting. each and every one of them is just obsessed with you!!

If you thought his obsession over your height difference was ridiculous, think again because he could never get enough of your ass.

Regardless of your JDM men of choice, there is no doubt their obsession with your ass is unreal. Without a doubt that each and every one of them eats like it would be their last moments on earth. Loving the sloppy mess of both their spit and your juices, not only mixing and dribbling down their chin and facial hair, but especially down to your tight hole.

Negan, John, Kessler, and Max, the nastiest men in the bunch, would buy you one or more of those gem plugs because there has never been a more gorgeous sight than you writhing on top of them as they teasingly run the cool plug along your tight hole. All while condescendingly mirroring your parted lips while you’re desperately trying not to move so much upon their command, a creamy white ring now visible at the base. 

There is just something so bewitching about seeing a sex toy that is almost so innocent-looking being enough to have you clenching so hard around them.

Or they would have you on your back, flicking their tongue along your sopping lips before descending to the plug you’re gripping hard on. Licking around the gem and teasing your sensitive skin around it while holding your legs over their shoulders. 

Occasionally pulling the toy out just a little and seeing you pucker before pushing it back in with a groan that’ll send shivers down your spine.

Wrap your thighs around their head or roll your hips into their face all you want, being smothered by their pretty girl this way, to them, would be the best way to go there is.

Ike, the man of all things fancy, is all about romance. He adores building the tension up, standing behind you and running his hands up and down your sides, groaning as he gets a whiff of the tantalizing smell of your favourite perfume spritzed just behind your ear. If there’s music, he will sway to the sultry beat with you, reminding you like he does every day, how much of a lucky son of a gun he is to have you, and how much he needs you.

He wants you at your most comfortable, and he wants you to let it all out for him: no muffling, no shying away, and absolutely no hiding. If the entirety of Miami can marvel upon you like an angel on earth, then he, your dearest husband, can most certainly do the same, and way more, just like you deserve. 

Models or showgirls don’t even hold a candle to you when he can have you in just stockings and/or a garter belt with heels. While he loves you in both everything and nothing, but with just heels and stockings? Fuck, he doesn’t think even the strongest liquor could get him this drunk and enchanted as he is with you.

He knows that looming over you at the foot of the bed will have you squirming on your back already. Plus, missionary is only boring if you make it boring, not when Ike would hold your legs over his shoulder, barely concealing his dazed state for you by kissing your ankles, moving his hips with vigour to hear your moans peak at every thrust. 

Patrick, kinky as he is passionate, strives to incorporate both, especially for your pleasure. So what’s sexier than cockwarming and mirror sex? To be able to easily see both your eyes rolling back and the sight of himself buried inside you is the cherry on top, especially after a hard day’s work as a frontliner. 

He would hold you against him, the fine hairs on his chest tickling your back as he plants soft kisses along your neck. Infuriatingly reminding you to keep your eyes on the mirror, whether by a whisper or a subtle grip on your thighs, knowing it gets you more bratty and impatient by the second. 

If Patrick is a little more on the passionate side, then Luke falls more on the kinky end. He yearns for you 24/7 and it amplifies when he is either stressed or when he sees you bond with his daughter so well. 

Whether you're standing chest to chest with his hands cupping your cheeks or holding you to his side as an act of protection, his hand is on the small of your back and lingering just inches away from your rear. The fact that physical touch, being one of, if not, his most major love language is definitely a sign.

Similar to the first three, Luke will not be able to stop smiling ever so smugly whenever you jerk and squirm, hoping he'd spare you the relentless teasing, and once he does, he would lick a stripe along your pussy and nipping at your clit between his lips while prodding his middle finger at that very spot.

Sloppy and desperate to make you cum on his tongue while pushes another finger into you, smiling against your back arches so beautifully.

a/n: how many jdmorgan characters did I want in this, you may ask? yes! and this is me holding back! ;; gorgeous rose divider by @firefly-graphics ♡

[ihatebnha]

Actually, hold on.

People clown on Denki and YES he should be clowned on as punishment for being friends with Mineta, but... all things considered. He's probably a good boyfriend in the sense that he's actually very in tune with what you like/what you want to do.

He's the boyfriend who WILL buy you crystals, candles and perfumes even if the boys clown him for it. The one who's happy to stop at stores you've mentioned liking, or wrinkle his nose and say "but y/n doesn't like that restaurant" when something you don't like get suggested.

Like it's dumb but... he will NEVER be caught as the boyfriend who doesn't take interest in your life + what you enjoy. Bye.

[rushingheadlong]

Alone Time - A Brian May smut fic

Summary: Brian always tells himself that he’s going to take his time with this... but he never does.

Wordcount: ~1,100 [+ a bonus epilogue]

Tags/Warnings: 18+ / NSFW, smut, masturbation, toys

Notes: Written for an anon prompt for “Brian fucking himself with a dildo”. We didn’t get fancy with this one folks, it is in fact just straight-up smut.

Brian always intends to take his time with this. He always tells himself that he’s going to take this slow, savor every second of it and make it last… but he always ends up being far too eager, and those plans quickly get thrown out the window.

He works himself open on his fingers, and the first one always goes in so easily but he still gasps and squirms against it anyway. And he pushes the second one in quickly, because it’ll take more than one finger to get him ready for the toy, and it doesn’t hurt - he’s too familiar with this and he uses too much lube for it to really be painful - but there’s a fullness to it that just feels so good.

And he knows that three fingers feels even better, so he works another inside of himself and he whines and bucks his hips against his hand as he pistons his fingers in and out of his lube-slick hole. His fingers are certainly long enough to reach his prostate and every brush against that sensitive bundle of nerves makes his eyes roll back in his head, but he always wants more, more, more - so when his hand starts cramping, as it always inevitably does, he pulls his fingers out and reaches eager for the dildo that he set aside earlier.

The dildo he’s chosen today for today’s fun is only a hair wider than his three fingers had been but it’s certainly longer - long enough that the sight of it alone is enough to get Brian burning hot with need. His empty hole clenches in anticipation as Brian quickly slicks up the toy and his cock, which he’s hardly touched so far, is rock-hard and dripping wet with precome.

Brian always tells himself that he’s going to take his time with this, and this is the only part where that almost happens. He knows he’s open and ready, god, he can feel how open he is, but he still doesn’t want to go too rough too quickly and hurt himself.

So he slides the dildo in slowly, feeling every inch of it as it fills him up, and he moans and drags his face against his pillow as he works the toy in with short, shallow thrusts. It’s thick and hard and unyielding and it goes deeper than his fingers did, until he thinks that there’s no way that he can fit more inside himself. But somehow he always does, he always manages to work those last few inches in, and then the flared base is pressed flush against his body and Brian shakes and gasps and tries to focus on not coming immediately from the sensation of being filled alone.

Pulling it out feels just as good, the slide back against every one of his nerve endings making him moan loudly as his body clamps down and fights to keep the toy inside. And he wants to take it slowly, he wants to savor every moment of feeling so damn good, but the next push back inside is a little harder, a little faster, and whatever scrap of control Brian was holding onto immediately disappears.

He rocks his hips back to meet the toy, and every thrust goes deep and hard, brushing against his prostate and making sparks fly behind his eyes, which have slipped closed as he chases his pleasure. His mouth is hanging open and he’s moaning and panting as he keeps thrusting the toy into his hole, faster and faster until his arm tires and his fingers are slipping on the toy with the excess lube that’s dripping out of him with every movement.

That’s not the only thing that’s dripping. There’s precome smeared across his stomach from where his cock hits against his skin as he rocks against the dildo, and pooled on the sheets beneath him as well. Brian isn’t a pornstar, and he can’t come from penetration alone, but it certainly feels like he could with how hard he is and how pleasure skitters up his spine with every thrust.

The moment he gets a hand on his cock he’s going to come, he knows that, so Brian braces himself on his chest and reaches back to play with his balls first, gently massaging them and rolling them in his hand, and he moves back further and presses against his perineum while he grinds the diildo against his prostate.

“Oh- oh fuck, fuck, fuck,” he moans as his hips stutter and his hands slip against lube- and sweat-slick skin, and he can’t wait any longer.

He wraps a hand around his cock and he barely has to move his hand at all with how he’s still rocking his hips against the dildo, alternating between taking the toy deep inside himself and fucking forward into his fist. He’s moaning continually, half-slurred fuck’s and oh god’s slipping out without any thought on his part. He feels like he’s on fire, desire flooding every nerve ending in his body as he feels himself racing towards that edge-

And then that wave crashes over him and Brian groans and trembles, holding the dildo deep in his hole as he clenches around it and grinds it against his prostate, his other hand stripping his cock as he comes and comes and comes. He can feel come hitting his chest and spilling over his fingers, and as he comes down from his orgasm he keeps stroking his cock, eventually just teasing the head, whining and squirming at the pained-pleasure of being overstimulated until it becomes too much to bear and he collapses against the bed.

He’s panting heavily and he’s lying in a puddle of come, but when he reaches back with a shaking hand to pull the dildo out he still whines and clenches down around it, his body desperate to keep it inside even after he’s come. One of these days he’s going to cave and buy a plug, because he feels so empty once the toy is out that it’s almost unbearable. He trails his fingers around the rim of loose and still-slick hole, whimpering as even those gentle touches send sparks of overstimulation firing along his nerve endings.

Brian finally pulls his hand away and tosses the toy somewhere down towards the end of the bed to be dealt with later. He’s going to need to shower after this… and change his sheets… and probably light a candle to get the smell of sex out of the room…

And he’s definitely going to get on all of that, once he catches his breath and gets his legs working again - because he’s certainly not in a rush to keep moving any more.

---------

[This prompt was tacked onto the end of the “Queen eating muffins” prompt from a few days ago. The exact phrasing was “modern au queen eating muffins. just like hanging out being pals and eating muffins. Or alternatively, brian fucking himself with a dildo. thx!” and the contrast of these two had me crying with laughter.

So, because of that, have this absolute crack-y epilogue, with hints of poly!Queen.]

Brian gets himself cleaned up in his room. He keeps a stash of wipes on hand just for this, so he doesn’t have to trek out through the flat to wipe away lube and come. He’ll have to shower still, of course, but it gets the job done for now. The toy gets perfunctorily wiped down and set aside for a proper cleaning later, and then Brian leaves his room in search of breakfast.

He should be the only one home. He had begged off of going out to brunch with Freddie, Roger, and John in order to have some proper alone time in the flat, and he’s not expecting them to be home for some time yet.

Which is why it’s such a shock when he enters the kitchen and sees John and Freddie sitting at the small table tucked in the corner, a pot of tea and a plate of muffins in front of them, both of their faces flushed as they look up at Brian.

“Um,” Brian squeaks, and he can feel how bright red his own face is becoming. “How- how long have you been home?”

“A little while now,” Freddie says, sounding strained. “The place was booked full so we grabbed muffins to-go and thought we’d surprise you with breakfast…”

“And we were the ones who got a surprise instead,” John mumbles, and Freddie kicks him underneath the table.

Brian thinks he’s going to die from embarrassment, because he knows how thin these walls are and how much they must have heard. “Ah, well, erm…” He clears his throat and scrambles for something, anything to say to alleviate the tension in the air. “Did Roger run out then, or not come home with you?”

“No, he’s here. He’s in the shower,” John says in a tight voice.

It’s a testament to how much Brian’s spectacular orgasm fried his critical-thinking skills that he finds himself asking, “Doesn’t he usually shower at night?” without really thinking anything through.

“Yes, darling, he usually does,” Freddie says and that’s all it takes for the pieces to fall into place for Brian.

“Oh. OH. Well, uh…” He pulls out a chair and sits down across from Freddie and John, grabbing one of the muffins and taking a huge bite out of it. “Thanks for breakfast?”

Freddie and John exchange a look. “Don’t mention it,” John says with a sigh, and reaches for a muffin of his own.

It isn’t until much later, when Roger emerges from the shower looking decidedly relaxed and Freddie and John have disappeared into their own bedrooms, that it really hits Brian that his friends heard him getting off… and didn’t leave the flat. And he wonders if maybe, just maybe, there was something more to the tension in the kitchen than simple embarrassment.

[sweetimagines]

Rebellious Passion

Gif source 

Pairing: Armitage Hux x Poe Dameron

Description: Gingerpilot week - Day 7 - Orange appreciation. 

Warnings: None I can think of.

Word Count: 1787

A/N: This was supposed to be a super quick fic but the details just kept coming. 

It’s an unusually quiet day on the Finalizer’s bridge. Even though it’s war time, the galaxy still feels it’s necessary to celebrate Valentine’s Day, meaning there’s no X-Wings to blast down and it would be insensitive to plan an attack on the Resistance base while they’re unprepared - leaving out the fact that the First Order has no clue to where their new base is located.

If it weren't for the third cup of extra strong caf General Hux had this morning, he’d be blinking sleepy eyes from boredom.

Surprisingly, “Supreme Leader” Ren is taking part in the nonsense festivities, locked in his chambers with his - invisible - scavenger girlfriend. 

Poe had informed Armitage beforehand that even the traitor - FN-2187 - has a date with the Otomok biter. Apparently, he doesn't want to be the only one alone. 

Hux assured him that there would be plenty of people lonesome for the holiday. That earned him a hard hang up of their comm call. He later learned it’s rude, if you have a partner, to not spend Valentine’s with them. 

However, he can’t have anyone knowing he’s involved with rebel scum. He’d be executed, or worse. Dameron doesn’t seem to understand that.

Despite the fact that he rejected the unscheduled meeting, Armitage can’t stop thinking about letting Poe down. The monotony of the bridge isn’t helping him keep his mind busy, but that’s just about to change in an epic way.

One of Hux’s officers arrives at the bridge, carrying a gigantic bouquet of flowers. He only recognizes the man when he speaks. 

“These are for you, sir.” Lieutenant Mitaka hands them over.

The General scoffs, his eyebrows raised as he holds the bouquet to the side. “What is the meaning of this, Lieutenant?” 

“Oh... They’re not from me, sir. There’s a card.” Mitaka points at the piece of folded flimsi and gets back to his station before Hux has a change to investigate further.

General Hux has a feeling he knows who they’re from and is just about to confirm when he notices all his officers are staring at him. “Have you no work to do?” Immediately, everyone gets back to their duties.

He squares his shoulders and strides out of the bridge, leaving behind the fruty fragrance of Everlily on the air and a few peach hued petals on the ground.

Armitage loosens up only when he’s inside the concealment of his chambers. He takes a seat on his ice blue couch, settling the bouquet on the caf table and retrieving the card. He chortles at the bad poetry but smiles at the fact that it’s handwritten - even if Poe’s letters are sloppy and difficult to read.

Roses are red, 

My flight suit is orange,

And so is your hair. 

Happy Valentine’s day, Hugs.

Of couse Dameron wouldn’t let anything stop him from being a good boyfriend. Undoubtedly he’s been planing this for a while because a bouquet of Everlilies is very expensive and he’s probably not earning much on a Resistance Commander salary. 

Hux is aware of how harsh it was to deny a hopeless romantic a date on Valentine’s Day. He hasn’t got the first idea how to fix that, though, since he has never had a Valentine before.

The thuds of someone knocking on his door interrupt his line of thought.

“What is it?” Hux questions irritated, getting back to his cold, autocratic self.

“Apologies, sir! We have received another package for you.” Mitaka shouts as the door slides open.

The General takes the small, medium weight, mysterious box with a bow on top and dismisses his assistant. 

The box contains two carrot cupcakes with bitter chocolate frosting and a bottle of ginger ale. 

Armitage feels specially guilty now as he reads the small heart shaped card.

Enjoy your breakfast.

Hugs and kisses from your Flyboy!

It’s simple and sweet and absolutely something that would normally sicken Armitage. Instead he’s charmed. Poe really is a master at romantic gestures. 

Hux doesn’t want Dameron to think he doesn’t care so he’ll follow his boyfriend’s actions to try and make things right. He summons Lieutenant Mitaka to his quarters with flimsiplast and pens.

His assistant turns up with the required items and another gift. At this point, General Hux is not surprised anymore. 

“Lieutenant, how would you make a Valentine’s Day card?” Armitage asks reluctantly in a low voice - in case anyone is eavesdropping. After all, he needs every bit of help he can get.

“I wouldn’t know, sir. I can research people’s preferred methods if you’d like.” 

“No. I better do that myself.” Hux can’t have “Valentine’s Day card how to” on the First Order net database.

Mitaka nods before getting back to work. The door to General Hux’s chambers shuts closed with a thump as he sets the new present on his desk, reading Poe’s card in hopes to find some inspiration there.

I am the spark that will light the fire in your pants! 

That’s not exactly the kind of enthusiasm Armitage was expecting to find, an involuntary blush tints his cheeks red and a shy smirk curls his lip. 

He wonders how a single sentence from Poe has more effect on him than an entire meeting about military strategies or finally finishing the design to a modified Tie fighter after long hours of work. 

Maybe Poe is right and he’s misguided in his passions. He’s already sick and tired of having to bow to Kylo Ren’s petty revenge crusade. Being constantly humiliated and abused is most definitely feeding his doubts. 

Perhaps it really is time to consider other ways to put his specialties to use. Just not this exact second, now he has to receive his boyfriend’s extreme affection and then find a way to retribute.

Hux lets out a single high-pitched giggle as he opens the package to find not only a pumpkin spice scented candle but also two short plush coral Porg. Ever since the Wookie adopted those creatures, Dameron is obsessed with them.  

Armitage comms Dameron from his personal encrypted commlink. There’s no way he’ll allow his boyfriend to spend Valentine’s Day alone anymore.

“Changed your mind about celebrating, Hugs?” Poe’s voice is cocky. Hux has no doubt that was his plan all along.

“Congratulations, rebel. You have successfully coerced me into inviting you over.” 

Dameron chuckles proudly, making Hux roll his eyes.

“Don’t gloat or else I’ll change my mind.” An empty threat and they both know it. “I’ll have Phasma escort you safely to my chambers while Lieutenant Mitaka erases your landing from the records.”

“I know the drill, Hugs.” They’ve done that one too many times and Armitage can feel from Poe’s voice that the dirty secret is starting to take a toll on him. 

He fears soon his boyfriend will start to weigh the pros and cons of their relationship and realize he made a mistake. Hopefully tonight he can score on the pros.

 “I didn’t have time to buy you a gift, though.” Hux already let him down enough for one day so he might as well be honest.

“I wasn’t expecting one. See you in a bit, Ginger.” 

“Don’t be too long, Pilot.” 

Captain Phasma delivers Dameron safely to General Hux’s chambers. She’s not on board with the relationship but knows it will happen with or without her help and she’d rather see Hux in one piece, so making sure no one spots a Resistance Commander walking freely around the Finalizer is now part of her job.

Armitage regard Poe’s appearance and is awestruck. He’s surprisingly not on his flight suit, but a nice leather jacket over a cream shirt and BB-8 is not trailing his every step. He even shaved and doesn’t smell like engine oil. 

“You look nice, Dameron.” No matter what he’s wearing, Hux always fancies him.

“You don’t look too bad yourself, Hugs.” Dameron kisses his cheek and Phasma leaves. It’s not visible through her mask, but she most certainly rolled her eyes. 

“What are your plans?” 

“I thought we could holonetflix and chill.” Poe guides Armitage to the bed. “I brought snacks.” He hands him a clear plastic bag.

It contains peach flavored and colored sour gummy X-Wings with black liquorice details, bittersweet jellybeans with cantaloupe essence, dyed soft orange and sweethearts candy shaped and tinted to match his astromech with the words “BB MINE” stamped on it.

“You’re so corny.” Armitage teases as a defense mechanism to how he really feels - warm and fuzzy.

“And proud.” Poe sighs. “Oh, and I have one last gift for you.” He winks and hurriedly strips his shirt, tripping over while taking off his pants. 

“Orange underwear?” Hux raises and eyebrow as Dameron rubs the back of his head embarrassedly. “You have a problem, Dameron.” 

“I’m just honoring the origin of our love: The Orange Lady, Nar Shaddaa, Corellia.”

Armitage gasps at the meaning behind all the orange items he received. “That’s...” He’s at a loss for words.

“Mushy? Sappy? Silly?” Poe jokes.

“More like charming, endearing, honorable.” Hux sometimes doesn’t believe he scored such a wonderful man, specially from the opposite side of the war. 

Dameron kisses him the same he did when Hux first said “I love you.” and he’s left breathless.

The holoshow Dameron chose isn’t exactly to Hux’s taste but after everything that man did for him, watching a bad show is the least he can do.

“Did you like my cards?” Poe snuggles closer to Armitage’s chest.

“That poem was epically bad... but... sweet.” Hux admits reluctantly. Dameron has been able to soften him up to physical contact but emotional demonstrations of love are still hard for him. 

“That reminds me. I made you one after our comm call.” Armitage stands up and retrieves the card from his desk and watches as Poe reads it.

I love you so much I’d defect the First Order.

Happy Valentine’s day, Dameron.

PS: My last name is Hux.

“Do you mean it?” 

“Yes.” Hux doesn’t possess the kind of humor needed to make a joke like that. “I undoubtedly love you more than anything and I don’t want to lose you.” 

Poe stays silent, enjoying that moment for as long as he can. “I love you so kriffing much, Hux.” The use of his proper last name expresses that more than anything else ever could.

“I know.”

[thelittlebitsoflovelyblog]

Last week the husband and I were invited down to Crossgar for a tour and tasting session at the Shortcross Gin Distillery – Slainte!

The Rademon Estate in County Down is one of the oldest historic estates in Ireland, and since 2014 it has been the home of Shortcross Gin.

Shortcross owners Fiona and David are immensely proud of their gin, and so they should be – Shortcross Gin is not only Northern Ireland’s first craft gin, it has also won the most awards out of all the gins distilled on island of Ireland.

Aiming to rekindle a distilling tradition that spans back centuries in Ireland, creating Shortcross Gin has been a true love affair for David and Fiona. It has taken time to build and create their distillery. They took the time to travel the world and hone their skills, this is why when they distil they do so slowly. Each bottle of Shortcross Gin is hand bottled, wax dipped and signed. The process may be slow but it’s a true craft. Each Shortcross bottle is unique.

We were booked in for the evening tour which started at 6pm so as soon as we arrived home from work we hopped in the car and were on our way. Crossgar is about 40 minutes drive for us and I would thoroughly recommend nominating a designated driver. For us, that designated driver was me… thanks Alan.

I was going to write something here about how I’m not a big drinker so I didn’t mind driving, but that would just be a big old fib – I was actually bribed into driving with the promise that Alan would buy me a bottle of Shortcross to bring home. Apparently compromising leads to a long and happy marriage.

The Rademon Estate itself is steeped in history. The House was built circa. 1667 by the Johnson family – unfortunately no relation – whose heiress married James Crawford of Crawfordsburn some time in the 18th century.

The original Rademon House was gutted by fire in the 1950s, but was soon after rebuilt to the designs of the Hon. Clad Phillimore. The entire demesne comprises a whopping 544 acres.

Just to the front of the distillery, on a hill overlooking the patio, is a sandstone obelisk. It was one of the first things we noticed pulling up the the distillery. It was erected in the 1860s as a memorial to William Sharman-Crawford MP “by grateful and attached tenantry” – sounds like a decent bloke – bet he didn’t make his wife drive.

It had been threatening to rain all day, but thankfully the sun was still out when we arrived, meaning we could enjoy a lovely gin cocktail on the patio before the tour. When I say ‘we’ I mean Alan. I had a San Pellegrino… if I couldn’t drink I at least wanted to feel fancy. Alan opted for The Bay Tree Shortcross. He said it was absolutely lovely, just to rub it in.

The copper sculpture in the centre of the patio was designed by an artist friend of Seamus Heaney and a quote from the famous Irish poet graces the base – “History says, don’t hope on this side of the grave, but then, once in a lifetime the longed-for tidal wave of justice can rise up, and hope and history rhyme”… I think the fella himself like to partake of a gin or two.

Owner and Head Distiller David Boyd-Armstrong leads each tour, and trust me, this man knows his stuff. I’ll not spoil the tour with the intricate ins and outs of how they distill Shortcross, because to be honest, that would just spoil the whole experience for you. Once you step inside his distillery David will take you on a magical journey through the fascinating process, unlocking some of the secrets and skills that go into creating Shortcross. From how they forage local botanicals on the Rademon Estate, draw fresh water from the distillery well, distill in a bespoke copper pot still and bottle and label the finished product on site – this man is a certified gin master. Teach me sensei.

Their small batch philosophy ensures that every aspect of the gin meets their exacting vision, and by ‘their’ I mean David – he bravely takes one for the team and personally tastes every batch of gin that comes out of the distillery – a true hero, I salute you and envy you in equal measure. Shortcross Gin is bottled at 46% ABV.

The copper pot still was custom made to Shortcross’ bespoke specification by the oldest family of German still makers Carl – and she is a thing of beauty! With the aim to do things a little differently David and Fiona combined the best of old and new technology with a 450L copper pot still and two enrichment columns. Each enrichment column houses seven individual bubble plates enabling just the right level of reflux – a bit like indigestion – which helps to create a smooth and aromatic spirit when they distill. A recent addition to the distillery is the new, bigger version of the original copper pot still which is proudly displayed in the huge glass front of the distillery.

We also got to take a sniff off what could be the new venture – a single malt whiskey! Every week for the past couple of years, David and Fiona have been tucking away a barrel, ready to open in three years and one day (when it can be officially classified as a whiskey) and taste. David says that they aren’t big on letting it mature for a couple of decades, for him, if it tastes good they’ll bottle it. If it doesn’t they’ll leave it until it does taste good, and if it never tastes good, well then, that’ll be that. I love a good rich whiskey – feel free to send me any 21 year Bushmills you have in the cellar – and after getting a big sniff of what they have in those barrels I’m pretty sure they are on to a winner there. And if they need a taster I’ll be first in line to volunteer. David was tight-lipped about what barrels they had used, but I got a definitely sherry smell – I could be wrong, but it was a beautifully rich aroma.

The tour ends back in the Visitor Centre/Shortcross Gin Bar where iconic Shortcross gin glasses, filled with a generous measure of gin, had been placed around the tables ready for our guided tasting tour and mixing session.

The gin itself is aromatic and exceptionally smooth. It was crafted to be a classical gin with a unique twist, best described as floral meadows, wild berries and grassy notes – and you don’t necessarily have to roll about in that meadow on your own, especially after a few gins!

Its unique flavour profile is created using fresh apples, elderflowers, elderberries and wild clover foraged on the estate, distilled alongside classic gin botanicals although the final recipe is top secret. Fiona takes the tasting sessions herself and encourages everyone to really explore the flavours in the gin. After learning about the viscosity and consistency of the gin, we all took a deep sniff in our glass. Everyone took turns calling out what they thought the most powerful scent in the gin was. Mine was clover. Alan said juniper. Dishes filled with each of the foraged botanicals are then passed around the tables and everyone got a good sniff of each. After having a good sniff of the botanicals it was then back to the gin – hurrah! – and although the clover still came across most strongly to me, some other scents had appeared, if slightly milder. Alan also said he was getting a whiff of elderflower and apple – personally I think he was just fibbing to show off.

Volunteers were required for the cocktail making demonstration and of course I volunteered. So the perfect Shortcross Gin cocktail goes like this – put a healthy measure of gin in your fancy Shortcross Gin Copa de Balon glass (you get a free one when you do the tour – failing that a big wine glass would do), fill to the brim with ice, and I mean chokka full, get as much in there as you can. Then take your swanky copper bar spoon and run it round the inside of the glass to give the ice a good swirl and create a nice frosting of condensation. Next comes the super fun part, put your bar spoon in the centre of the glass and poke it down to the bottom of the ice, then pour your mixer of choice (we had elderflower tonic with ours) from the top of the spoon straight down into the glass. The liquid trickles down the spirals of the spoon and creates a lovely fizz in the glass. Fill to just below the Shortcross Gin logo. Next take a slice of orange and rub the peel around the rim of the glass, then pop it into the glass. Lastly comes the wild mint. Take a leaf and give it a smack between the palms of your hands to release the flavour, then pop it in your glass too. And voila! you have the perfect Shortcross Gin!

Oh and did you know that the name Shortcross comes from the Gaelic for Crossgar, ‘An Chrois Ghearr’, meaning ‘the short cross’. The penny brand stamp comes from a rough-edged copper coin from King Henry 11’s Dublin mint. One of these is even framed and hanging in the distillery – it’s pretty neat.

Alan loves a good nosey round a gift shop and surprisingly he remembered his promise to buy me a bottle of Shortcross Gin… I’m sure the £5-off token we received on arrival had absolutely nothing to do with this. As it stands I not only got a lovely bottle of Shortcross, but I also guilted Alan into a Kelticandles candle and my very own copper bar spoon – a gin is no longer the same without it. I almost had a nice bar of locally made soap too, but was too slow to make up my mind which scent I wanted – rookie mistake.

You can book yourself onto a tour at shortcrossgin.com, you can also find a list of stockists and the latest news – keep an eye out for the whiskey!

A Gin of Merit | Shortcross Distillery Tour Last week the husband and I were invited down to Crossgar for a tour and tasting session at the Shortcross Gin Distillery - Slainte!