#based off the song doe jane by shakey graves

[transparenthologramrebel]

Doe Jane

(OOPS MY HAND SLIPPED HAVE SOME SOLLAVELLEN ANGST)

No. He didn’t kill her. He couldn’t have. Chuckles, what have you done?

Varric held his breath as the inquisition group stepped through the eluvian. Cassandra charged ahead of Blackwall and Dorian, shouting orders to other soldiers who had been waiting with bated breath for the Inquisition's return from facing the Qunari. Varric barely heard the seeker as he stared in horror at what was in front of him. Clutched in Tom Rainer’s arms was the Inquisitor, Nyx Lavllen. The Dalish woman hung limply in his arms, clearly unconscious. Her red hair was falling out of its usual braid, laying loosely across her freckled covered cheeks. Her mage robes were stained with dark crimson blood. Yet that wasn’t what Varric couldn’t take his eyes off of. 

Her arm and the anchor were gone. 

How is that even possible? Chuckles, what did you do?

Varric wondered as he stared at the blood dripping stump. Strings of sinew and flesh hung freely, their edges burned black. 

“The Inquisitor needs a doctor now!” Cassandra yelled again. 

“Yes, your worship!” one of the soldiers yelled, running off.

Varric swallowed, finally finding his feet. He walked over to his two former companions, as Dorian was vigorously wrapping Nyx’s bloody stump. He opened his mouth to speak, but for the first time ever in Varric’s life he couldn’t seem to find what to say. 

“What happened? He finally managed to stammer out. 

“He happened. Solas. Nyx charged off without us, yelling that she needed to help him from the Saarebas.” Dorian said, his voice weary.

“That bastard. I’ll kill him!” Blackwall growled. The gray warden’s hands tightened around the limp body, protectively.

“If we ever even find him! You saw the crossroads! The place is bigger than all of Tevinter!” the mage cursed. 

Varric’s ears rang and his head swam. Everything became background noise, as he tried to comprehend everything. Yet his brain refused to believe it. 

Chuckles…he loved her…he would have never hurt her. 

He stepped aside and watched as two Inquisition soldiers came forward with a stretcher. Gently, Blackwall laid Nyx down. Her eyes fluttered for a moment as if she was waking, but didn’t open. Her lips twitched as if she was trying to speak. Varric didn’t need to guess who’s name she was trying to say. 

He swallowed once more, letting the chaos pass him by as she was carried away.

Hours later he sat outside the large overly embellished door to the guest room that the Inquisitor was staying in. By his side was the seeker once again, now wearing her normal Victoria outfit once more.

He grunted as he stared at the floor. 

“I can’t imagine you find this situation amusing, Varric.” Cassandra hissed with her usual cold tone. 

“I don’t.” The dwarf grunted. “But I do find comfort in that no matter what happens, somehow we always end up sitting in the same room together, Seeker” 

Cassandra gave him a small smile. A rare look for her stern face. 

Varric sighed leaning back against the cold wall. A quiet horror and dismay had covered the winter palace. Cullen and Leliana were busy trying to see if they could open the Eluvian Solas had gone through again. While Josephine was busy trying to convince the council to hold a recess until everything was solved. While the inquisitor’s inner circle had gone to deal with their emotions about the situation in their own way. 

The door creaked open and the physician walked out. Varric jumped to his feet with Cassandra. 

“She’ll be alright. She just needs a lot of rest right now. However, her arm is gone for good I’m afraid.” The doctor said, wiping his bloodied hands with a rag. “The good news is that her life is no longer in danger from the Anchor.”

“So the Anchor is completely gone? How is that even possible?” Cassandra asked, clearly befuddled. The seeker turned and looked at Varric. “We need to find Solas as soon as possible. Whatever he plans to do with the anchor…” Cassandra trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence.  

Varric nodded. 

“I know. Why don’t you go see what Curly and Nightingale have found. I’ll stay with the kid.” He said. 

Cassandra nodded, walking away with the doctor. 

Varric walked into the Inquisitor's room. Nyx laid in the oversized bed embellished bed. Her red hair stuck out against the white sheets and her pale skin. She looked so fragile and breakable. The stump that used to be her arm was wrapped tightly in white bandages that were becoming slightly crimson with blood. Her chest rose and fell slowly with shallow breaths. 

Varric sighed, pulling the chair from the desk in the corner. He sat it down next to the bedside, sinking down into it. 

“I told you kid. This story is no good for heroes.”

Nyx fluttered in between dreams and memories. She watched her mother cry as her clan's keeper told her that her daughter was cursed. She remembered the warmth of the sun on her face as she was finally able to cast her first spell. She felt her knees scrap against stone as she tried to climb to freedom from the fade, as she ran from the fear spiders. She felt the warmth blossom in her chest as Solas kissed her for the first time. She then felt the pain of her heart tear into two as she watched her lover walk away from the secluded cove. She remembered his warmth, his love for the fade, his stories and artistry as he painted the rotunda at Skyhold. She felt the warmth and bitter sadness as he kissed her goodbye, promising to never forget her. 

Nyx flexed her fingers feeling the soft Orleasian sheets, as all the memories and dreams faded away. She dared not open her eyes as she desperately wanted to sink back down into blissful oblivion.

“Varric?” She croaked. She could hear the familiar sound of his pen scratching against paper. 

“I’m here kid.” Varric said, grabbing her remaining hand. His calloused hand was warm and comforting. 

“He’s gone isn’t he?” she whimpered. 

“Yeah…he’s gone.” 

Nyx turned her head, and for the first time since before the Conclave she allowed herself to cry. 

[oonajaeadira]

okay first off love how the bookshop Ezra story is going it is literally the highlight of my day when I notice that you have updated it literally my favorite Ezra fic to date- and I also wanted to pop in here and ask if you have a playlist set up for it bc if you do the song “doe, jane” by the Shakey Graves gives me such similar vibes, and if you don’t have a playlist I may just have to make one myself and send it over lmao

Aaaaaaa!!!!! I'm so glad Bookshop is something that brings you joy!!! I am current'y working on Chapter 6 and I can't wait to reveal the next big thing to make y'all swoon over Ezra (and Cee, those two are a good team).

The only playlist I have is one based from songs from the film--Chinese, Turkish, and Cambodian pop--but nothing vibes-wise.

If you want to make a playlist, I'd totally boost it!!!