#based off of jinzou enemy :-) !!

[critai]

6

[atsushishelteredinmoonlitjasmine]

Thoughts about Additional Memory and Kagepro

I’ve had some thoughts running through my mind since listening to Additional Memory and kinda reading through people’s own thoughts about it. I’m not going to make any theories about this song or try and figure out what it could all possibly mean. Instead, I’m just gonna write down the things I’ve thought about that people have kinda indirectly led me to thinking.

A friend started talking about how glad they were about Additional Memory delving into Ayano’s depression and I told them about how everyone was freaking out over Jin’s Tweet a little earlier about it being ‘a dark work’, meaning ‘fuck, everyone’s gonna die again’. It kinda made me realize that Kagepro has two meanings for what ‘dark’ is. Either it’s the edgy murder shit like Outer Science or the more realistic dark themes the series has. That line of thinking led me to this conclusion.

This is just my opinion so anyone can disagree with me here but I feel like all the songs from Jinzou Enemy to Summertime Record were kind of like the basics of storytelling. Introduce characters, have a plot, and occasionally show off lore/backstories. While they presented the heavy stuff, such as depression, suicide, etc., they never really elaborated on it. Some stuff is either implied or left to the fandom to decide on, outside of certain characters’ stuff.

I haven’t read the manga past Vol. 6 and the novels Vol. 2 but it feels like after a certain point, Jin begins to focus more on the characters and their inner demons. Granted, I don’t know when this shift occurred or even if it ever did but still…

I guess what I’m trying to say is, after Jin showed off the plot from beginning to middle to end, he began to develop the characters, elaborate on the previously mentioned themes, stuff like that. For example, Kido. Before Shissou Word came out, what did we really know about her, besides her tragic backstory and typical ‘girl doesn’t like feminine things’ schtick? Before, I was really indifferent to her. After Shissou Word’s release, she became more developed in a way that, I think anyway, was believable and relatable. It’s because of Shissou Word that Kido’s now a character I care about because I see some of myself in her and want to see come out of this okay.

While people didn’t really so much complain as they did hoping, people would sometimes bring up Ayano not really developing past her initial impression. Yeah, she’s a girl who’s so dedicated to saving her friends and family that she sacrificed herself to stop Saeru that unfortunately didn’t pan out. The manga actually did her a favor by making her more of a human being than a martyr, which is good! I made a post a while back about how I felt about Ayano being who she was back then but I was very intrigued because it made her interesting! Additional Memory, from what my friend gathered of it so I’m basing this off them, went into Ayano’s depression and made you feel really bad for her. While people have said she was depressed before, you never really saw any of that. If anything, her depression went on the backburner and only served to be a thing she just had. This, however, seemed to emphasize how truly alone and miserable she was, having to die over and over again just to fail in saving anyone.

Unfortunately, I’m having to base this on something that may not even be true until the English subs come out so I’m probably completely wrong. However, Additional Memory has also made me realize how relatable and effing sad Ayano is. She has depression, which may be as bad as Shintaro’s is, but she’s having to keep it bottled up. She has to keep up this image of being a strong, dependable older sister, daughter, and friend so as to not make anyone worry over her. Obviously, it gets worse when Saeru enters the picture because at that point, she’s in danger of losing everyone she cares about but yet she can’t talk about it with anyone. While she tries to depend on Kano for support, it ultimately wasn’t enough and now she feels as if she’s dragged her little brother into something she feels she should’ve taken care of all by herself. As I said earlier, would it really be surprising if part of or the whole reason she decided to commit suicide was because she had a genuine desire to die? It’s purely hypothetical but it’s there.

It’s funny how Shintaro and Ayano are more alike than initially seemed but there’s a major difference. Shintaro, while we joke about him being a shut-in, at least had someone to rely on (Ene and, depending on which route, the Mekakushi Dan) for even the little stuff whereas Ayano shouldered it all on herself.

I think what makes this more interesting is that, from the outside, Ayano didn’t really have anything to be depressed. She had a loving family, friends and, while she did have bad grades, they weren’t really anything to cry about (In my opinion, anyway). I can’t say when her depression would’ve developed because I’d have to be Jin himself to know that but maybe that’s why she felt as if she had to keep it all in. To her, she had nothing to be depressed about but yet she still was. Friends and family couldn’t really help since she kept it bottled up so it was just a shitty situation all around.

Anyway, that’s all I was thinking about. I’m running off of 9 hours sleep from yesterday so I may be wrong about a lot of stuff here. When the English subs are added, I might make an addendum to this…