#based off a scene in queer eye

[dcoasis]

Random but I’m thinking about black MCU characters and the fact that she never got a name after debuting in 2017 still pisses me off.

[springtyme]

farleigh start x f!reader

make it based on the party scene where he sniffs the “nose candy” off the girls hand

PLS THE FARLEIGH GIRLS ARE STARVING😫

𝐊𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐌𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐩𝐬, 𝐂𝐨𝐚𝐭 𝐌𝐞 𝐈𝐧 𝐒𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐫 ♡

Thank you for the request ♡ I know you didn’t asked for smut per se, but I got a little carried away. I hope that’s okay, and hopefully can help feed the Farleigh girls a little ♡

Farleigh Start x afab!reader || Masterlist || Farleigh playlist

summary: You can’t help but feel a rush of conflicting emotions as you stand before him. Part of you wants to turn around and walk away, to avoid the inevitable clash that always seems to occur when the two of you are in the same vicinity. But another part of you, a part that you try to keep buried deep within, is drawn to him like a moth to a flame.

word count: 4.5k

warning/tags: smut! (18+, mdni!) Language. Drug use (cocaine). Vaginal fingering, cunnilingus, blowjob, cum swallowing. Enemies to lovers (kinda?). I had pan4bi in mind when I wrote this, but readers sexually didn’t really end up getting mentioned, but Farleigh is definitely pan/queer like in canon. This whole thing kinda started out as one thing but turned into something completely different, so just to clear any possible confusion. Reader is best friends with Venetia, being childhood friends with her and Felix, and that is how she knows Fairleigh. Reader is enrolled in a university in Cambridge, unlike Fairleigh who is in Oxford. No proofreading.

The dimly lit room is illuminated by a dazzling array of colourful lights, flickering and dancing in sync with the music. The deep reverberations of the bass are sending tremors through your body, a pulsating rhythm thumping within your chest, and even piercing your eardrums, but in the best way possible. 

The scent of spilled drinks and way too expensive perfumes and colognes are hanging in the air, mixing with the distinct smell of sweat that, no matter what, or no matter how rich you are, you’ll never be able to avoid when this many people are in one place, drinking and dancing at once. It’s filling the space with a raw, primal energy, an energy which you can feel resonate within you, right into the very marrow of your bones. 

You find yourself surrendering to the music, letting it guide your every movement as you roll your hips to the beat, grinding against the solid body behind you, enjoying the feeling of big strong hands on your waist. You don’t know his name and you like it that way. You’ve been needing this, it’s finally summer, you’re finally on break and away from Cambridge and you have every intent of enjoying it to the fullest. 

As you let yourself be carried away by the music and the pulsating energy of the room, your eyes wander around the crowd. And then, as if drawn by an invisible force, your gaze meets the eyes of someone familiar, someone you had hoped to avoid, despite knowing it wouldn’t be possible. 

As your gaze locks with his, a mix of emotions floods through you. A wave of annoyance washes over you, quickly followed by a surge of frustration. 

Fucking Farleigh, the embodiment of everything you despise, stands across the room, his tall frame towering over the crowd. He’s always been a thorn in your side, pushing your buttons and challenging you at every turn. The tension between you has always been palpable, a constant battle of wits and wills.

The memories of countless arguments and bitter exchanges flood your mind, reminding you of all the reasons why you can’t stand him. Farleigh, with his arrogant smirk, like he always knows something that you don’t know, and his condescending remarks, has always managed to get under your skin. And now, here he is, invading your sanctuary of escape. 

And yet, and this is something you would never admit out loud to anyone, you have always felt strangely drawn to him, a magnetic pull that you’ve never been able to fully understand. A complicated connection, really, filled with both desire and deep annoyance.

You tear your eyes away, trying to regain your composure and ignore the magnetic pull drawing you towards him. You focus your attention back on the music, trying to lose yourself in its enchanting melody and forget about Farleigh’s presence. The pulsating beats and the heat of the body pressing against yours conspire to distract you, urging you to let go and revel in the moment. You move with more intensity, swaying your hips and allowing your body to glide effortlessly with the rhythm.

But despite your attempts to ignore him, Farleigh’s image persists in your mind, and it is as if you can feel his piercing eyes on you, burning your skin. The curiosity battles with your annoyance, leaving you conflicted and uncertain.

As the music reaches a crescendo, you can’t resist the pull any longer. With a mix of defiance and determination, you break away from the stranger behind you, making your way through the crowd in Farleigh’s direction. Not because you want to speak to him, of course not, you just want to find Venetia, Farleigh just happens to stand right next to the door.  

As you approach Farleigh, you can’t help but notice the way his eyes follow your every move. A flicker of amusement dances in his gaze, as if he knows the effect he has on you. Just as you’re about to pass him, Farleigh steps in front of you, a sly smile playing on his lips, the strobe lights flickering across his face, highlighting his features with pink and purple, and you feel how a warm flutter swoops through your stomach. Someone who is that annoying really don’t have any business being that handsome. 

You try to step past him, but he moves with a frustrating grace, blocking your path once more. “What do you want, Farleigh?” you huff, your tone laced with impatience. 

But he doesn’t answer you at first, instead, he just keeps the weird little dance going, with you trying to push past him to get through the door, and him stepping in front of you, blocking your way, until you finally take a step back, glaring up at him and you can’t help but feel a rush of conflicting emotions as you stand before him like this. 

Part of you wants to turn around and walk away, to avoid the inevitable clash that always seems to occur when the two of you are in the same vicinity. But another part of you, a part that you try to keep buried deep within, is drawn to him like a moth to a flame, and it fucking frustarites you.

His voice, when he finally speaks, is a low, velvety whisper that resonates deep within your core. “Long time no see,” he says, a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. The scent of his cologne invades your senses, stirring up a confusing mixture of attraction and deep irritation. 

With a deep breath, you muster up all the strength you have and respond, trying to match his nonchalant tone. “I was actually hoping to keep it that way,” you reply, crossing your arms.

Farleigh’s smirk widens slightly, and you can see the glimmer of amusement in his eyes. “Well, that I find a little hard to believe. We are in my house, aren’t we?” he remarks, leaning in closer, his voice dripping with a hint of sarcasm.

You resist the urge to roll your eyes, knowing that it would only fuel his satisfaction. Instead, you take a moment to study him. His sharp features are highlighted by the colourful lights surrounding you. Despite your frustration with him, there’s no denying that he has a certain magnetism that draws people in. “I wouldn’t exactly say it’s your house.” You retort, raising an eyebrow. “More like uncle’s house, isn’t it?”

Farleigh chuckles, a low, rumbling sound that sends a shiver down your spine. “Touché,” he says, his voice laced with amusement. “But you can’t deny that it’s my domain.”

You scoff, unable to resist a small smirk. “Domain? More like your little playground.”

His eyes narrow slightly, a flicker of challenge in his gaze. “Funny, because I always thought you were the one who loved a good game.”

The air between you crackles with tension, the familiar dance of wit and banter that has always characterised your interactions. Despite your annoyance with Farleigh, there’s a part of you that thrives on the exhilaration of this verbal sparring. “Maybe I do, but I have no interest in playing with you.”

Farleigh’s smirk fades slightly, replaced by a look of genuine curiosity. “No interest at all?” he asks, his voice laced with a hint of intrigue. “I find that hard to believe. You’ve always seemed to enjoy our little tête-à-têtes.”

You resist the urge to let your guard down, refusing to let him see how much his words affect you. “Just because I enjoy a challenge doesn’t mean I enjoy dealing with you,” you reply, your tone sharp and dismissive.

Farleigh’s gaze intensifies, his eyes searching yours as if trying to uncover a hidden truth. “Is that so?” he says, his voice low and velvety. “Because I have a feeling there’s more to it than that. I think you actually enjoy the tension between us, the push and pull.”

You scoff, trying to shake off the unsettling feeling that his words are hitting too close to home. “You think too highly of yourself,” you retort, attempting to sound unaffected by his observation.

Farleigh takes a step closer, his presence seeming to fill the space between you. “Maybe,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper. “But I also think you’re intrigued by me. Admit it, there’s a part of you that wants to know what it would be like to give in to that pull.”

Your heart races at his words, a mixture of anger and desire swirling within you. “You’re delusional,” you snap, your voice betraying a hint of vulnerability.

Farleigh’s expression softens, his eyes searching yours with a newfound tenderness. “Am I?” he murmurs, his voice filled with sincerity. The intensity of his gaze leaves you momentarily speechless, your mind racing to make sense of the conflicting emotions coursing through you. You’ve spent so long trying to resist him, to keep him at a distance, but now, in this moment, it feels impossible to deny the undeniable connection between you.

Farleigh leans in closer, his breath warming your ear as he speaks. “You can pretend all you want, but I see right through you.” His voice is laced with a mixture of confidence and mystery that sends a shiver down your spine. Suddenly, all the people around you disappear, the only thing that matters in that moment is the charged tension between you and Farleigh. It’s as if you’re existing in a world of your own, completely detached from reality.

You can’t resist the pull any longer. “Oh, can you now..?” You murmur, slowly, you reach out your hand to wipe a stray piece of glitter away from under his eye, letting your thumb gently graze his cheek. His eyes darken with a mix of surprise and anticipation, his lips parting slightly as if attempting to say something. But before a single word can escape, you close the distance between you, pressing your lips against his in a passionate, desperate kiss. 

Everything around you fades away as the electricity between you ignites, the world falling away as you become enraptured by the intensity of the moment. All the pent-up frustration and desire explode in that single act of surrender and defiance.

In this moment, you can no longer deny the complicated connection that exists between you. The magnetic pull, the mix of desire and annoyance, it all becomes clearer as you lose yourself in the kiss. The room around you becomes a blur, the music and the crowd transformed into mere background noise.

The kiss breaks, leaving you both breathless and gasping for air, but the connection remains. You meet Farleigh’s gaze, a smouldering fire burning in his eyes. And in that silent exchange, the tension and chemistry between you cannot be ignored any longer. 

Farleigh’s lips curl into a satisfied smile, his eyes never leaving yours. “I knew you couldn’t resist me,” he whispers, his voice husky with desire.

You raise an eyebrow, a mixture of amusement and defiance in your expression. “Don’t get too ahead of yourself,” you retort, trying to regain your composure. “This doesn’t mean anything.”

Farleigh’s smile widens, and he takes a step closer, his hand gently cupping your cheek. “Oh, it means something, alright,” he murmurs, his voice filled with a tantalising promise. 

A shiver runs down your spine at his words, a rush of anticipation flooding through you. As much as you want to deny it, there’s a part of you that craves the excitement and intensity that comes with being with Farleigh. You know it won’t be easy, and there will be challenges along the way, but you can’t help but be drawn to him.

With a mix of determination and vulnerability, you lean in closer, your lips brushing against his ear. “Fine, it does mean something,” you whisper, your voice filled with both defiance and longing. As the words escape your lips, you can feel the heat rising in your cheeks. The intensity between you and Farleigh has reached its breaking point, and you both know it. Without saying a word, you take Farleigh’s hand and lead him out of the room and through the big, crowded house searching for a place of solitude, finally finding it in the form of an unoccupied bathroom on the second floor. 

The sounds of the party fade into the background as you step inside, the quietness amplifying the intensity of the moment. Farleigh takes a step closer to you, his eyes searching yours for any sign of hesitation. “Are you sure you want this?” he asks, his voice low and filled with a mix of concern and desire.

You meet his gaze, your own eyes filled with a mix of uncertainty and longing. “I don’t know,” you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. “But I want to find out.” 

Farleigh’s lips curl into a knowing smile, the fiery desire in his eyes never wavering. He takes another step closer, closing the distance between you, his hand inching up to gently cup your cheek. You can feel the warmth of his touch seeping into your skin, electrifying every nerve in your body.

In that moment, any last doubt or hesitation you might have felt fades away as the intense pull between you becomes undeniable. You lean into his touch, closing your eyes and letting yourself get lost in the moment. His thumb caresses your cheek, and his voice, filled with a mixture of longing and assurance, whispers, “I’ll make it worth it.”

A surge of anticipation courses through your veins as Farleigh’s thumb brushes against your lips, tracing their outline with a delicate touch. Without even thinking, your own hand finds its way to his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your fingertips. The air around you is heavy with desire and expectation.

As your lips collide once again, the passion between you ignites, consuming you both in a fiery haze. The bathroom echoes with the rapid beating of your hearts and the soft gasps that escape your lips. Farleigh’s kiss is both tender and intense, his lips moving against yours with a fervour that matches your own. This single act of surrender has unleashed a whirlwind of emotions, leaving you craving more. 

You start to walk backwards, until your back gently bumps into the vanity cabinet of the sink, without breaking the kiss even once. You first break the kiss as Farleigh’s hands find your hips, helping you jump up the counter. Your already short dress, hiking even higher up your thigh as you spread your legs to let him step in between them. “You got any nose candy?” you pant, making Farleigh chuckle, his breath warm against your lips as he brushes his thumb over your bottom lip. 

“I think you already know the answer, don’t you?” he replies, his voice filled with a mix of amusement and desire. He reaches into his pocket, pulling out a small vial of white powder and setting it on the counter.

He carefully measures out a small amount of the powder, offering it to you on the back of his hand. You take a deep breath, feeling a rush of nerves mixed with excitement. With only a very short flicker of hesitation, you lean in, snorting the powder through your nose. The effects are immediate, a surge of warmth and euphoria washing over you.

Farleigh takes your hand, putting the vial to it to make a line for himself, but you stop him before any of the coke has left the container. “No, here.” You say, placing your hand behind you on the counter and leaning back, exposing your bare collarbone, inviting him to snort the line off your skin. Farleigh’s eyes widen, clearly liking your suggestion, his gaze locked on the vulnerable expanse of your skin before a smirk tugs at the corners of his lips, lining up a stripe for himself.   

As he leans in, his breath tickles your skin. His fingers, delicate and precise, trace the line of the cocaine on your collarbone before he leans down, his lips brushing against your skin as he inhales the white powder. A shiver races through your body at the touch of his lips against your sensitive skin, the combination of the drug’s rush and Farleigh’s proximity sending waves of pleasure coursing through you. You both linger in this moment, caught between desire and the heightened state induced by the substance. Everything in the bathroom seems to fade away as you focus on the connection between you and Farleigh - the electric current that flows between your bodies, the shared need for a temporary escape. Farleigh pulls back, his eyes dark and heavy with desire as he locks his gaze with yours. 

“Come here,” you all but moan, making him chuckle. The lingering scent of his luxurious cologne fills the air, prompting you to inch closer on the countertop, savouring every breath of him. You reach out, pulling Farleigh closer as you crash your lips together once more, the kiss growing even more passionate and heated than before. And as the kiss deepens even more, Farleigh’s hands start to explore your body, one trailing up your thigh while the other gently cups your cheek. Your own hands roam eagerly over his frame, feeling the heat and power emanating from him.

The bathroom becomes a blur of sensations, the feel of his hands on you, the taste of his lips on yours, the intoxicating scent of his cologne surrounding you. Time seems to lose all meaning as you lose yourself in the moment, giving in to the intoxicating combination of pleasure and desire. As he finally breaks the kiss, his lips trail a path down your neck, leaving a trail of sweet kisses in their wake. The heat between you builds with each passing moment, every touch and caress leaving you craving for more.

As Farleigh’s lips find their way to the sensitive curve of your collarbone, you let out a soft gasp, a jolt of pleasure shooting through your body, his touch igniting a fire within you. His hands roam over your thigh, inching higher and higher, until he reaches the delicate fabric of your now soaked panties, carefully teasing and brushing against your most sensitive area. Your breath hitches in anticipation as his touch sends a surge of arousal coursing through you.

Unable to contain your desire any longer, you guide his hand to where you need him most, sliding your panties to the side. His fingers waste no time in exploring, gently parting your slick folds and finding your throbbing clit. Soft moans escape your lips as he circles his fingers around your sensitive bud, the pleasure building with every stroke. “Damn, you’re so wet,” he whispers huskily, his voice laced with desire. His fingers skillfully dance along your swollen nub, expertly coaxing you closer and closer to the edge. 

The bathroom becomes a sanctuary of pleasure and intimacy as Farleigh expertly works his fingers, gradually increasing the rhythm and pressure. You tilt your head back, surrendering yourself completely to the ecstasy flooding your senses. You arch your back, pressing yourself closer to his hand, eager for more. The need for release consumes you, the overwhelming sensation heightening with each passing second. Farleigh, ever attuned to your desires, gives you exactly what you crave. His fingers quicken their pace, increasing the pressure against your throbbing clit, using his other hand to push, first one, then two, fingers into your craving cunt, pumping into you, while still working your clit. 

Lost in the blissful haze, you feel your walls tighten around his fingers, signalling your imminent release. Every touch becomes electrifying as you chase that elusive peak. And when the wave of pleasure crashes over you, it’s all-consuming. Your body trembles with the force of your orgasm, your moans echoing off the bathroom walls. 

“Yeah, that’s it, baby,” he whispers, his voice raw with desire as he continues to ride out your orgasm, prolonging your pleasure with his skilled fingers. He keeps his touch steady and relentless, expertly drawing out every ounce of bliss from your pulsing core. It’s a relentless dance of pleasure and sensation, leaving you gasping for breath as the ecstasy courses through your veins.

Farleigh withdraws his fingers, the absence of his touch leaves you yearning for more. He brings them to his mouth sucking off your juices. “Fuck… you taste good, I think I need to get a better taste, baby” he smirks. 

“Please, Farleigh,” you hate that you’re begging, but fuck how you need more of him. “N-need more…” you squirm a little in your seat, squeezing your thighs together in anticipation. Farleigh smirks again, unlike you he is clearly very glad to hear how pleading and desperate you are for him. 

He sinks to his knees before you and slowly pulls your soaked panties down your legs, leaving you completely exposed and vulnerable before him all the while keeping eye contact with you. Without a word, he leans in, his hot breath fanning over your sensitive skin. His lips brush against your inner thighs, teasingly light and gentle, sending shivers of anticipation coursing through you. As his mouth moves closer to your throbbing core, you grip the edge of the counter, desperately trying to steady yourself. 

The anticipation is almost unbearable, the teasing kisses and licks making you ache for more. Finally, his lips press against your clit, his tongue immediately finding its rhythm as he expertly swirls and flicks, drawing moans of pleasure from deep within you. Each flick of his tongue sends shockwaves of ecstasy through your body, building the pleasure to dizzying heights. He alternates between delicate licks and sucking motions, knowing exactly how to drive you wild. The sensation is overwhelming, and you lose yourself in a haze of pleasure. 

The sounds of your moans fill the room, your pleasure echoing off the walls. You can feel the pressure building inside you, your climax approaching rapidly. And just when you think you can’t hold on any longer, the dam breaks, and you surrender to the powerful waves of your orgasm. Stars explode behind your closed eyelids as your body convulses with pleasure, your voice reaching heights you didn’t know were possible. 

Farleigh doesn’t let up, continuing to lap at your sensitive clit, prolonging your ecstasy until you’re completely spent. As the waves of pleasure subside, he pulls away, a satisfied grin on his face as he looks up at you, his lips glistening with your essence. You struggle to catch your breath, your entire body still trembling from the intensity of your release as Farleigh gets up from the floor. You close your eyes for a second, as you take in the reality you’re living in now, a reality where you have been eaten out by Farleigh fucking Start, and now in this moment you almost can’t recall why you ever disliked him.  

As your body slowly comes down from the heights of pleasure, you open your eyes again, breathing heavily, to find Farleigh staring at you with hunger in his eyes. His own desire is evident, his chest heaving with shallow breaths. Reaching out, you grab hold of his shirt, pulling him closer. “Your turn,” you say, your voice vibrating with anticipation.

A mischievous smile plays on his lips as he realises what you have in mind. Without a word, he unbuttons his shirt, revealing a toned chest. He shrugs off his shirt, allowing it to fall to the floor as he confidently steps out of his shoes. Every movement he makes is deliberate, a display of raw sensuality that only intensifies your desire for him.

With a mixture of excitement and confidence, you jump down from the counter and step toward Farleigh, your legs feel like jelly, but you don’t let that stop you. Your hands find their way to the waistband of his pants, fingers skillfully unfastening them. As his pants pool at his feet, you run your hands up his muscular thighs, feeling the contours of his body beneath your touch.

Your gaze flickers upward, locking eyes with Farleigh, the intensity in his gaze mirrored in your own. Without breaking eye contact, you drop to your knees, fully engulfed in the moment. You trail kisses along his inner thighs, teasing and taunting him. His breath hitching with every kiss, the anticipation in the room building with each passing moment.

As you reach his hardened cock, you wrap your fingers around him, feeling his heat and the pulsing desire that emanates from him. He is big; girthy, with a nice vein lining the underside of his shaft. Your tongue flicks out to taste him, eliciting a low growl from his throat, before you pool spit in your mouth, letting it fall from your mouth and down his shaft. With a combination of skill and eagerness, your mouth encloses around him, the heat and wetness enveloping him. 

As your lips slide up and down his length, you can feel him growing even harder, his breaths becoming more ragged. You use your hand in synchronisation with your mouth, working him tirelessly, determined to bring him to the brink of release, moaning around his cock while breathy praises leaves his mouth.

The bathroom becomes a symphony of moans and heavy breaths as the pleasure builds between you. Your lips and tongue work magic, pushing him closer and closer to the edge. And when he finally succumbs to the overwhelming ecstasy, he spills himself into your waiting mouth, his moans of pleasure echoing off the bathroom walls.

You take him in, savouring the taste of him as his release warms your mouth as you swallow him up. It’s an act of trust and vulnerability, something you, just an hour ago, could never have imagined to be between the two of you. As he finally catches his breath, his hands gently lift your chin, guiding you back to your feet.

Your eyes meet, a shared understanding passing between you. “You know, uh…” you start, Taking in a deep breath. “Venetia asked me to stay for a bit, I’ll be here at Saltburn for the next two weeks.” you whisper, letting the implication of your words hang in the air for a moment.

Farleigh’s eyes widen with surprise, a mixture of excitement and hope flickering in his gaze. He takes a step closer, his hand reaching out to gently touch your cheek. The warmth of his touch sends a shiver down your spine, and you can see the longing in his eyes.

“Two weeks?” he repeats, his voice filled with a mix of surprise and anticipation. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

You smile, a mix of mischief and desire in your gaze. “I’m saying that we have two weeks to explore this... connection between us,” you reply, your voice filled with a tantalising promise. “But let’s make one thing clear, Farleigh. This doesn’t mean that I like you now,” and you hate how it isn’t really true. 

Farleigh’s smile widens as he leans in, his lips brushing against your ear. “I guess I have two weeks to change that.”

Thank you for reading! If you want, please leave a comment or reblog to let me know what you thought of it ♡

[ripplestitchskein]

I don’t know if we’ll ever get into it, because the show at this point largely plays it off as a joke, but I do wonder if Blitz’s very misogynist language and his association with feelings as being “gay”or for “pussies” will be explored more as part of this. It’s really hard to tell at this point if it’s an issue to be examined in the narrative’s eyes or just Brandon’s particular brand of humor coming into play with no deeper character considerations beyond the superficial “he uses insults and abrasive language to keep people at arms length”.

I mentioned it in one of my episode breakdowns but Blitz’s interactions with women are very interesting. Whore. Slut. Titty Haver. He is exceedingly more aggressive with women he meets than he is with men. Yet Blitz seems to have very much loved, and from the little we’ve seen, had a good relationship with his mother. He seems to get along well with Millie, he takes good care of Loona. Barbie is the only character he hurt he actively pursues to reconcile with. Yet all his interactions with other women he is a lot more hostile and aggressive than in his interactions with other men and that’s present from Murder Family on.

Most of his disguises are him dressing in drag though? If he has to put a costume on he generally defaults to female presenting. He seems to enjoy it as well, based on expressions and animated body language he is comfortable and having a good time. Again, hard to tell if it’s just a bit, but Blitz has been shown as pretty gender non conforming many times for a guy who mostly uses gendered insults. Some of it could be as simple as hiding horns and tail being made slightly easier by a wig and a dress, it could be just the way the writer’s humor trends but it could be a lot more.

Especially when paired with his clear association with feelings = gay. A crux of his post Full Moon communication attempts with Stolas seem to be “Haha, silly feelings, that’s gay, let’s…have gay sex about it again?”. Feelings are for pussies. What you said is gayer than love ballads. Etc. etc. The dude has no issue filling a house party with his conquests from across the gender spectrum though.

It just reads as coming from somewhere else. Cash specifically. Blitz himself seems to default to queerness. He doesn’t seem to care about it from the perspective of his own sexual relationships or gender expression but at the same time he is very misogynistic and associates things that make him feel weak or could be perceived as weak with gayness or women.

We have some scenes from the trailer that could potentially explore his more. His scene with his mom possibly coming out about his feelings for Fizz versus Cash refusing to let him see him at the hospital. Those may just be more “your romantic reveal led to a horrible tragedy” but it could also hopefully give some insight into why he handles the Full Moon fight like a 90’s middle schooler declaring anything that makes him feel squishy inside with a “That’s gay.”

[tswhiisftteedr]

ANYTHING Lute x Reader, i just need to see more of this perfect gal whose had like 3 minutes total of screentime

Girls ☆ One Shot

☆ Lute x Human Soul!Fem!Reader:

After having met you on your first day in heaven, your life and lute’s would change for the better as you had found your other half despite your original predicaments.

Words: 4228

Warnings: Mature Content, Explicit/Graphic Language, Honestly Nothing Kinky, It’s just plain girl on girl smut. Homophobia. Lute might be ooc. NOT PROOFREAD.

Notes: Okay right off the bat, some bullshit logic about angels being able to tell if someone is queer, also lute is gay but has some major internalized homophobia so for a good chunk of this she’s rude to the reader just because they’re gay.

☆ more under the cut. ☆

Frankly, the scenario felt weird, especially given the fact that both of you were, well, 'you.'

From a logical standpoint, it didn't add up, not in the slightest. However, in the grand scheme of things, ‘does love really need to make sense?’

The response to that question was unquestionably, no, when observing your relationship with Lute.

It all began when your seemingly stable life abruptly crumbled. While crossing the street, mind you, at a red light, fate took a dark turn as a truck with faulty brakes struck you, ending your life on the spot.

There was no reincarnation into another world after this encounter with truck-kun; you were flat out dead.

In the blink of an eye, you found yourself standing before the gates of Heaven, where Saint Peter meticulously inspected his book, akin to the VIP list of an exclusive nightclub – or so it seemed.

However, instead of the typical club scene with artificial lights, drugs, unpleasant odours, drunk individuals, and a sense of desperation, you were enveloped in a heavenly realm. Fluffy clouds, savoury food, sweet fragrances, joyful company, and an overwhelming sense of acceptance surrounded you.

This was truly paradise, and you were relieved that your life wasn't too problematic. After being shown your potential residence—a beautiful house with a spacious garden—and touring 'Heaven city' with a friendly Angel couple, you enjoyed exploring your surroundings.

However, the perfection took a turn when you accidentally encountered the first unfriendly 'individual' in Heaven.

"Watch it," the woman with white hair warned you, and after scanning you from head to toe (much like her golden-winged companion), she remarked, "I guess they really let anybody in these days, even people like you."

With those words, she walked away accompanied by the non-human-looking 'man,' which seemed to be the norm in this place. However, you couldn't shake off the unease caused by her reference to 'people like you.'

Soon, you discovered the meaning behind her comment. Apparently, angels here could distinguish between cis-straight and queer individuals.

The reason of ‘why?’ remained unknown to you, but what became clear was that, in her opinion, you didn't deserve Heaven—not based on your actions but solely due to your sexuality, ‘and that pissed you off.’

You had planned to confront her the next time your paths crossed, and that moment arrived three months later, long after you had moved on from the incident;

Now, you were patiently waiting in line to sample drinks at the recently opened smoothie bar. The atmosphere was serene and heavenly, as expected.

Just as it was about to be your turn to order, you were rudely jolted by the announcement, "Move it, bitches, Adam’s in the houuuse."

You found yourself pushed aside, forced to witness the obnoxious Angel now placing his order.

Midway through his order “Pineapple smoothie with extra pineapple, tapioca, grass jelly, make it an extra-large with extra sugar, then she’ll have-“ it suddenly dawned on you that he was the guy with the white-haired companion from last time. Before you could fully process it, you turned around to find the white-haired woman right beside you.

Upon noticing you, she shot a disgusted glare and 'tsk' your way. Frustrated, you thought, 'That rude bitch- Not only did she cut in line, but she also gave you a look like you were a turd on the incredibly clean streets of heaven!'

This time, you were determined to speak your mind to her;

"Whats your problem?" you question her with frustration evident in your tone.

"Excuse me?" she retorts, disdain dripping from her voice.

"I'm asking, what's your issue with me? Our first encounter, you flat out implied I didn't belong in heaven. Seriously, for what, for being gay? Firstly, that's bullshit because my worth as a person shouldn't be based on my sexuality. Secondly, it's just plain homophobic. Isn't heaven supposed to be all about accepting thy neighbour? So instead of treating me like I'm beneath you, how about an apology for our last interaction, Miss off-brand Kanade?" You lay it all out, determined not to let her disrespect slide this time. She was to blame before, but allowing it again would be on you, ‘and that wasn't going to happen.’

"Oooooh, cat fight!" remarked the golden-winged Angel, treating your dispute as some form of entertainment. Also 'cat fight', was he fucking serious?! That term left you thinking, 'misogynistic asshole!' in response to his words.

"Do you even know who you're speaking to?" the woman questioned, exuding a sense of superiority.

"Yeah, tear that bitch a new on, Lute!" the golden-winged Angel chimed in.

"I don't 'lute,' and if you were truly that significant, I would’ve. But it sure as hell doesn't seem to be the case!" you retorted with a touch of spite, placing extra emphasis on her name.

The shop as a hole gasped at the mention of the ‘H word’.

"I’ll have you on that I hold the title of Lieutenant of— in the Heavenly Army. And as one of God's warriors, I deserve respect from someone of your, let's say, slightly above dreadful mortal soul status," she declares, almost slipping up and inadvertently revealing the existence of exterminators.

"Sure thing, 'heaven warrior.' Firstly, when did we ever need an angel like you? It's been peaceful here. Secondly, I couldn't help but notice that slip-up. I don't know your real occupation, probably still military judging by your mannerisms, but certainly not some simple member of this 'heaven’s army,'" you respond, now sure that she's concealing her true job from most of Heaven's population.

"You insolent, miserable, lower life form! Consider yourself fortunate that your meager good deeds in your pathetic human life landed you here. Otherwise, I would have had the pleasure to—" she began, but was abruptly interrupted by her 'companion' or perhaps 'boss.' "Chill out, danger tits," he calmly stated in a tone vastly different from his earlier goofiness. The shift in his demeanor was genuinely unsettling.

And her attitude swiftly transformed; she composed herself and turned to face him. "I apologize, Adam, sir. I allowed my emotions to take over and stepped out of line," she said, directing her apology not to you but to her boss.

With that, the two individuals departed, leaving you to independently apologize to your fellow angels for the disturbance.

Was that the final occasion you heard or saw them? No, because not even a month later, here you were;

Another fun aspect of heaven was its schools, designed for souls who aspired to study on Earth but lacked the opportunity or had their lives cut too short to complete their educations.

Another facet of this scenario allowed the souls of teachers or individuals aspiring to aid in unfulfilled dreams to volunteer for assisting with the children's education.

That's why you found yourself present today, supporting Miss Asiimwe with her fourth-grade anglophone class during a spelling bee. Just as the classroom door swung open, an unmistakably loud and obnoxious voice rang out, "What up turds, big bro Adam's in the house!"

Your day took a turn from a wholesome one contributing to kids' education to a shitty one, because if that ‘pompous jerk Adam was here, she sure would also be—‘ "Oh, it's you again," Lute remarks to you, her voice less harsh than the last encounter but still carrying a hint of bitterness.

Truly, ‘It was a waste for her to be so beautiful with that kind of attitude’. Despite her rude remarks about your sexual orientation, you may or may not find her attractive—perhaps not the wisest choice, and you were aware of such. But hey, after all, dominatrix existed, and they get paid handsomely to insult people. So, ‘is it really that unconventional to be into her?’

Yes, it very much so was. However, before having the chance to delve into those thoughts, Lute abruptly snapped her fingers right in front of your face to divert your attention.

"What are you doing here?! And a quit staring at me like that!" she demanded, replacing her fingers with her face, now uncomfortably close, and you could feel her breath on your face.

"Um, well— I'm assisting this classroom's teacher, something I've been doing since week one in heaven, so you're not kicking me out," you replied with a defensive tone, slightly taken aback by her question but drawing from your previous interactions.

"I never claimed I would, chill out, mortal soul. You shouldn't project the stress of your inadequacy as an inferior being into this classroom's atmosphere. Stress spreads easily, and you wouldn't want it affecting the children," she declares with authority, though her tone and gaze had some gentleness in it.

Truth be told, she might have found herself drawn to you. It was a difficult pill to swallow, given her blatant homophobia and the fact she found the thought of ‘her’ being attracted to a woman absolutely absurd.

Upon initially glimpsing your figure and sensing a certain fire within her, her instinctive response was to be rude to you.

"You mentioned you've been assisting here since your first week. How frequently do you come by?" she inquires, attempting to initiate casual conversations with you. By now, she had acknowledged that you weren't to blame for her attraction. While you might be the source, her draw toward women wasn't dependent on whether she found you hot or not.

"Well, I try to stop by at least twice a week. I believe having familiar faces during learning helps children feel safer and more supported," you admitted, surprised that she's engaging in small talk.

"I completely agree. Having a trusted adult present during learning builds a strong foundation for children's education, especially for the younger ones," she adds, gazing ahead at the classroom where the children have transitioned from spelling to playing with Adam.

"Leave it to the man-child to get along with kids," you joke to yourself, watching how effortlessly Adam bonds with the children. They're engrossed in a game involving knights and kings, with Adam, of course, playing the role of the king.

To your surprise, Lute chuckles at your remark before quickly composing herself. "Well, he is the father of humanity," she states, a faint smile appearing at the corner of her lips.

"I guess I can't argue with facts," you reply, your own face lighting up with a smile at the sight of the joyful children.

After that day, your meetings with Lute became a regular occurrence. Whether it was the joyful atmosphere of children immersed in learning or something else, she grew quite friendly with you over the course of two months. Your interactions even extended beyond the school, evolving into outings to cafes and amusement parks.

Today was one of Lute's off-duty days. You weren't exactly sure why heaven required an army, but you refrained from probing too much, especially during your hangouts, which were focused on enjoying each other's company rather than discussing work.

Currently, you were at CheeLand, the largest amusement park in all of heaven, offering rides for both the faint-hearted and adrenaline junkies alike.

You leaned towards the gentler side when it came to this type of amusement, while Lute embraced the thrill. That's why you found yourself anxiously gripping your seat’s restrains as the cart ascended the rails, anticipating the impending drop.

Your white-haired friend had successfully egged you on, convincing you to join her on the ride. Despite calming yourself in line, once the ride began, all your anxiety rushed back;

Lute, growing excited as the carts continued to climb up, remarked, "This is going to be so fucking fun! Can't believe you were such a baby about it in line." Her teasing tone shifted as she noticed your terrified expression.

Softening, she grabbed your hand and reassured you, "Listen, you'll be alright. The rides are completely safe and secure. Plus, I'm here with you." Her last sentence was emphasized by a comforting squeeze of your hand, prompting you to turn and look at her. "And worst case scenario, you're already dead, so there's nothing to be truly afraid of," she joked, easing the tension slightly.

But then came her next words, reigniting panic. "Okay, get ready, we're almost there." Glancing forward, you realized, "Oh, shit." She was right, and in an instant, the drop arrived. Both of you screamed at the top of your lungs throughout the entire ride…

You emerged from the ride, your head still a bit foggy and your voice hoarse from screaming, with Lute holding your hand.

As you both walk towards a nearby bench for a moment of composure, she remarks, "See, wasn't so bad."

"The fuck it wasn't!" you retort. Just as she's about to tease you for your reaction, you abruptly pull her into a tight hug in a serge of emotions. "But thanks for being with me. I doubt I could have even mustered the courage to join the ride lineup if you weren't here. I'm really grateful you're with me," you whisper softly.

She was startled by the contact, causing her to freeze momentarily. Although her initial instinct was to pull away due to nervousness, she recognized this as a vulnerable moment for you. Awkwardly, she hugged you back and gradually melted into the embrace.

After 5 minutes, the reality of the position hit her, and nerves kicked in. "You're welcome, now get off me, you weirdo," she insists, pulling away from the hug. However, all you can do is smile at her. Despite her attempt to maintain a front, she can't help but crack a smile too. 'She actually enjoyed how close you just were,' but that was something she kept to herself.

At some point in time, you had even overheard her referring to you as her friend to her boss, Adam, who questioned her sudden shift from his side to yours. Her face turned beet red as she defended you—a sight you wouldn't have expected from her at all.

However, that flushed look she harbored became increasingly frequent over time. You had become accustomed to her mannerisms and the way she expressed emotions, often lashing out due to difficulty in self-expression.

You had grown familiar with what brought a smile to her face, what upset her, and especially what left her flustered. By then, you had realized she liked you based on her behaviours, yet it seemed she hadn't recognized the romantic nature of her feelings.

Aware of her confusion, especially considering her upbringing and training, you knew the absence of romance in her education left her clueless about such emotions. Despite this, you chose to let her navigate these feelings on her own. It wasn't your place to impose that you were better aware of her own emotions than she was.

Yet, you played a role in guiding her toward this realization by incorporating more physical gestures, of course, always within her comfort boundaries: holding her hand more often, offering more frequent hugs, ensuring there was some form of touch between you two.

A common occurrence was when you walked together, either with your arm around her or your pinkies linked.

Her flushed face became so habitual that seeing her without it seemed unusual; the red tint became her typical expression when spending time with you.

Take, for instance, that day when you visited the newly opened restaurant on 'Holy Avenue.';

Opting for a Caesar salad, Lute aimed to play it safe in case the other offered dish didn't appeal to her taste. However, as she munched on her food, her gaze kept wandering to your dish, which seemed quite appetizing.

She attempted to deny her desire for a bite, but after spending so much time together, you had become adept at reading her emotions.

Acknowledging her unspoken request, you picked up a small portion with your fork, gesturing for her to join in. Initially embarrassed, she hesitated to refuse, but a single pleading look and she relented.

Her face flushed from the intimate gesture, the question of ‘why was she getting so worked up over your friendly act’ lingered in her mind as she finally took the bite-size food portion. The fact that she found you visually pleasing wasn't the answer she sought. Her feelings were deeper than mere physical attraction.

This realization was further confirmed as she spent the entire night unable to sleep, her mind consumed by thoughts of your hangout and the fact that you had fed her.

Tossing and turning, she found herself questioning the nature of your relationship: were you friends? Yes, that was obvious. Were you a couple? No, definitely not. Did she want you to be more than friends, an item perhaps? "Uuh, fuck," she groaned into her pillow as the realization hit her that she had developed feelings for you.

By now, it seemed like everyone and their mothers were aware of Lute's feelings, evident in her actions toward you. Not only had she begun reciprocating your physical advances, but she also initiated some herself.

Whether it was greeting you with a warm hug after a week apart, including you in her imposed outings with Adam, or playfully wrapping an arm around your waist during these occasions, her actions spoke volumes.

She'd whisper sweet jabs about her boss into your ear, leading to fits of laughter. Adam, in response, would roll his eyes at your intimate gestures, teasing Lute for being too obvious about her affection.

Despite her embarrassment and denials of any romantic feelings, you knew better than to take those at face value.

Yet besides the deep connection you shared, she struggled to express her feelings toward you. Accepting that she liked you had already been a significant challenge. Therefore, the idea of asking you out was currently off the table.

She needed to communicate her sentiments without uttering a word, and that's where today came into play—Valentine's Day.

Lute had dedicated the entire previous day and night to baking the perfect sweet, chocolaty treat for you. Not being accustomed to baking, she faced numerous trials and errors before getting it just right. Now, the moment had arrived for her to present these treats to you.

Having texted you to meet her at 'Wings Caffe' around 10, she patiently occupied a table since 9:30 a.m. following your confirmation text.

Initially, her plan was to simply hand you the chocolate, letting you make assumptions and agreeing when you eventually concluded that she liked you. However, things didn't go as planned, and nerves took over;

"Aww, that's so sweet, Lute. Thank you, really. I didn't get anything today, since y’a know, single as a Pringle," you remarked, pointing to yourself. "These chocolates mean a lot. By the way, they look fantastic. Where did you get them? I'd love to buy more for a snack," you inquired, holding the heart-shaped box.

"Made them," she mumbled, visibly embarrassed by your compliments.

"Really? Wow, I didn't know you baked. Maybe I'll come over to your place more often and have you whip something up for me," you begin. The implication of spending more time together tugs at Lute's chest, but your last sentence hits her hard. "I'm so grateful to have a friend who's skilled at baking and willing to make me things," you say as you start munching on the treats.

'Friends'—that's right, nothing more. It appears she couldn't rely on the heart-shaped box or the chocolate with words of affirmation in pink sprinkles to convey her feelings. If she desired more than friendship, she would have to be honest about her feelings this time.

However, true to her defensive nature, instead of clarifying the true reason behind giving chocolate on the day of love, she merely went along with your characterization of it as a friendly gesture.

"Yeah, I guess you're lucky to have a friend like me, someone so good at everything," she boasted, her voice proud, yet her expression betraying a hint of sadness.

Noticing the inconsistency, you set the box down on the table to free your hands and gently took hers. Meeting her gaze directly, you squeezed her hands for reassurance. "I wanted to let you work things out at your own pace, but we're not making any progress," you began, and she looked at you wide-eyed.

"I like you, Lute, and I know you like me too," you stated frankly. Before she could employ her defense mechanism, you added, "I'm not saying we have to start dating right away. I understand if you're not ready for that. But please keep in mind, as long as you don't outright reject me, I'll keep trying to pursue a relationship with you."

Upon hearing those words, Lute sensed the release of all the built-up stress and fear of rejection.

A newfound confidence surged within her, making her bold enough to grab your face and plant a bold kiss in plain sight for everyone at the café to witness. "Fuck yes, I'll be your girlfriend," she declared as she pulled away.

With a simple "Now, let's get out of here," the two of you stood up from your seats, leaving the café behind as her apartment became your new destination.

Upon reaching her place, things escalated rapidly—like, really rapidly. Mere seconds after stepping through the door, she was all over you.

Passionate kisses, hands exploring every inch of your body, fingers grabbing at whatever they could find. Nails scratching and digging, teeth occasionally biting at your skin when her mouth left yours.

Given the speed with which she undressed you, it seemed like she had envisioned this scenario for quite some time.

Before you knew it, you were lying on her bed, completely devoid of clothing, and that's when she began to work her magic;

Squirming within her grasp, she held your thighs down while eating you out. Breathless, you questioned, "I thought you were a homophobe before we met. How are you so good at this??" The overwhelming sensation of her tongue left you in awe.

You can practically feel her grin against your lips as she responds, "Yep, I was. But after developing a crush on you, I did my homework. Figured it be useful at one point or another. Though, ‘didn't think I'd be that good on my first actual trial.”

"Please don’t stop" you croak out between pants.

“Don’t worry, I won’t." she promised, increasing her rhythm and pressure.

As she continued to please you, you couldn't help but wonder what changed in her. This was way different from her usual flustered self. ‘Was it the time spent together? Or maybe the touch? The combination of both?’

Regardless, you decided to focus solely on the present moment, losing yourself in the sensations coursing through your body. Lute showed no signs of slowing down, proving her dedication to satisfying you.

Eventually, you reached climax, shouting her name as you finally released, your wings fluttered and your essence coated her tongue. Her response? She swallowed it down greedily, moaning around your pussy. When you finally fell back onto the bed, panting heavily, she climbed up beside you, her breasts pressing against your chest.

"That was... intense," you managed to utter between breaths.

"Glad you enjoyed it," she whispered, nibbling on your earlobe.

As you settled down together, Lute traced gentle circles on your stomach before trailing her fingers along your inner thighs. Her thumb brushed against your sensitive folds again, teasingly circling your tight entrance. "Do you want more?" she asked softly, her voice husky with desire.

You nodded weakly, unable to speak coherently yet.

Without further delay, Lute positioned herself between your spread legs again, positioning her own pussy just inches away from where she had been earlier. Lowering herself slowly, she began to rub your clits together, creating a new wave of pleasure that reverberated throughout both of them.

With each thrust of her hips, she increased the pace until you were moving in sync, your moans growing louder as you neared another orgasmic peak.

Your bodies intertwined, united in shared ecstasy, leaving neither wanting nor regretting your decision to explore the concept of a sexual relationship together.

Lute's hands grabbed onto your hips, holding you steady as she picked up speed, driving them both closer to climax. Your nails dug into her shoulders, leaving shallow crescent marks in the soft flesh; evidence of your shared intensity.

You could feel the familiar buildup starting again, your entire body tensing up in anticipation. With one final powerful thrust, Lute groaned loudly, her orgasm crashing over both of you like waves crashing onto shore. In response, you let out a high-pitched cry, joining her in blissful release.

Breathing heavily, you stayed in the same position for several moments longer than necessary, savouring the afterglow of your passionate union.

Eventually, you separated, both panting heavily. Lute rolled off of you, lying next to you on the bed, her chest heaving rapidly.

"That was... incredible," she panted out, reaching over to grab a nearby water bottle and handing it to you.

"Yeah, it was... Although I have to admit, having sex on the first day of making it official is pretty needy," you playfully tease her.

"Oh, shut up," she retorts before planting a kiss on your lips once you've swallowed your sip of water.

This relationship was going to be wilder than what you had anticipated…

Thanks anon for requesting!

©tswhiisfttedr. dn translate, or plagiarize.

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Tag list for Lute: @sunflower-lilly @charlott30045 (I still used your request because it was one that fit with what I had already received)

Reblogs help!!! (Request Are On Pause)

[iambicpentameterhamster]

What i think of you based on your favourite Six of Crows character

Matthias Helvar:

You probably read a lot in the fantasy genre and take yourself too seriously (no offense) probably busy daydreaming about profound things and writing poems that you'll eventually delete. You love bleak and gritty stories and you listen to Coldplay, Conan Gray or The Tortured Poets Department. No shade though, you guys are probably great friends with value for loyalty. In summary, i think you're all either really intense and ernest or totally shy and quiet. You're probably heterosexual to be honest.

Nina Zenik:

I think people who's favourite is Nina don't tend to be much like her in real life, but are the type of people that would really want to befriend her. I'd say you're more introverted and quietly friendly, but then you act totally different and comfortable with the right friends. Technically disapproving of gossip, but turn into Regina George if the rumour is juicy enough- secretly judgemental but it all comes out to your best friends. You have a good sense of humour and probably quite a cynical/pessimist mindset overall. I know you like campy films like Legally Blonde and Clueless. Oh, and your favourite subject is definately history.

Inej Ghafta:

If you're drawn to the steady and honest beat of Inej's thoughts, I think you're quite an anxious or scattered person who enjoys how safe and comforting she feels as a character. I'd say you're a sensitive person with a keen eye for colour and art. Your favourite chapters in SOC are definately the backstory and romance chapters. You cry often at films and music and just when you feel bittersweet or happy. You have Hozier, Mitski or Radiohead on your playlists. You're either artsy smart or english smart, there's no way your a science/maths kinda person.

Wylan Van Eck:

This one is split. You're either one of those people that infantalises and simplifies his character and reduces both him and Jesper to their ship and nothing else, OR you're literally the best person ever. If you're the latter, you're probably super empathetic and appreciate depth as well as a good laugh, and i severley doubt you yourself enjoy maths and chemistry despite loving that look for Wylan. I've also never met a Wylan stan who wasn't a HARDCORE fan of SOC in general. You guys are the loudest complainers about Shadow and Bone being cancelled, and honestly, power to you. I bet your room is a bombsite right now too- pick up those dirty clothes, for christ sake.

Kaz Brekker:

All Kaz Brekker fans are somewhat infatuated with him. Your favourite chapters/scenes are absolutely the action and sexual tension scenes. All about high stakes and excitement, and you love to be surprised. That or you have a big thing for the bad boy trope. I think you have "dark achademia" or grunge-ey pinterest boards that don't match your real life style. I also think you think chess and piano are really sexy but play neither yourself. You and your friends probably read terrible Wattpad stories for a joke. Generally, you're somehow relaxed and simultaneously intense as fuck. 70% of you are Queer women/ nb people, other 30% are intensely heterosexual.

Jesper Fahey:

You have Queen on your playlist. Queen or Gorillaz. You're probably a quite casual person who is taken with Jesper's charm and humour, and you appreciate the comedic relief as you don't enjoy too much grit and heavy stuff with no humour breaks. But despite being not the most sensitive person in the world, Jesper's backstory caught you off guard and it HURT. I think you love comedies and action, you're decent at school and you're quite popular with a good circle of friends. A social person. Potential theatre kid, but minor roles/tech, and the only musical you really like is Hamilton lmao. You are generally a funny person, but you've definately experienced that moment where you tell a joke and nobody laughs.

Anybody else:

Non-existent.

OH AND ALSO, KAZ AND WYLAN FANS ARE THE ONES WHO WRITE ALL OF THE FANFICTION

[eruwaedhiel-in-an-impardis]

Baby Superwholockian me could not have FATHOMED the queer media we have now. And I'm sobbing literal tears over the representation that's just Out There now: Dead Boy Detective edition bc it's eating my soul rn

Like:: Supernatural never let Dean ugly cry or have a more-than-bro hug, it was all single tear down the cheek and hitting shit and the Rare Manly Bro Hug

And now here's Dead Boy Detectives letting Edwin shriek and sob and hug his best mate like he's never letting go and Charles bawl his eyes out

Supernatural dragged its female characters through the mud (one dimensional, fridged, bland) and expected its fan base (mostly women?!) to just suck it up

Dead Boy Detectives gives us Esther Finch and the Night Nurse and Jenny and Niko and Crystal and Maxine and Litty and even the one-off female characters are amazing and multifaceted and gorgeous?? No one is fridged at all??

Supernatural decided the best representation was to have Cas confess his love to Dean who was too straight to understand and then immediately get ended in superhell where he remained forever ig??

Dead Boy Detectives has Charles go oh HELL no and get his best mate out of hell, listens to Edwin's confession and assures him that even though he doesn't feel the same way yet there's no one else (and god that scene makes me cry)

Idk Supernatural and Sherlock were the best we had at the time and they hurt us so badly and these queer shows now just heal me a little bit more every time I watch them

[sapphic-bats]

How fucking bold can you be?

I mean, that was the question of the night, wasn’t it? Billy and Stu, pulling off a massacre. Billy and Stu, cornering Ms. Final Girl, Ms. Surviving Non-Virgin. The only one who makes it out of a horror movie, but wouldn’t this time. Billy and Stu, spitting free their motives — rather, motive — to the last living bastards in the house.

And yet, Billy was standing here, blanking at how bold Stu could possibly be. Besides all of the slaughtering that just occurred.

Sure, one moment he’s speaking to Sidney, the moment he’s been fuckin’ yearning to glean. The day he’s rued with wide eyes and set teeth forming an ugly-pretty smile.

And then, Stu comes up behind him.

It’s normal, actually. Nothin’ special. I mean, if you wanna get technical, they knew each other very well, on many levels. Among these levels included carnal, which- honestly, it didn’t take a genius to decipher. But hey, people weren’t usually on the hungry lookout for queers to disdainfully sniff at and pass by, were they?

So what, as Stu sidles up to him, the heat radiating off of him and right onto Billy? What’s the big bleeding fuss, as they’re ratting themselves out to a proclaimed dead-woman? Not that she sees, or cares.

But then, Stu presses forward, and oh, god.

It’s not something dirty, no, not exactly. It’s not outright lewd. But it is. It so is.

Because Stu’s leaning his whole self into Billy, front to back, cupping him in this upright-spoon. He’s pressing close, fitting to Billy like a lanky glove, and his body heat’s now flaring straight from within Stu, and soaking right into Billy.

It’s sick, and twisted, and downright fucking hot.

He notices it in the back of his mind, but it’s too damn right to be a coherent thought. Billy grins.

“Tell that to Cotton Weary.”

Stu’s got his chin rest on the back of Billy’s shoulder, on the mothering muscle of his scapula, so Billy can feel when his expression changes, roughly when Billy’s does. Now they’re both grinning like the madmen they are.

Large, soft hands slip up overtop his white shirt; grazing Billy’s waist, then stomach, then sweeping surely over his ribs, his pectorals. It feels fuckin’ great.

“You wouldn’t believe how easy he was to frame.”

Stu laughs, and it’s a rumble that buzzes against Billy’s back, like they’re some married couple stood standing straight up out of their domestic morning scene in bed.

Sidney hasn’t noticed any of this public shit, the acts of lustiness, of mutual pride in one another and themselves, respectively. Can’t believe he ever had to fake like he liked her. Thank the fading stars it’s over, it felt like forever that he had to keep up the act.

Stu caresses Billy, hands rubbing circles into his chest.

“Watch a few movies, take a few notes,” he tilts his chin down, nose gently ghosting against the base of Billy’s neck. He laughs again. “It was fun.”

As Sidney begins to lament the foolishness that she and her fallen friends had followed, Stu leans forwards — not much, because he doesn’t really have to lean far — and presses his lips into Billy’s skin.

He kisses Billy’s neck, and the boy almost falters. He almost turns his head to give Stu a better angle, so he can maneuver his mouth against the other’s. He doesn’t, but it takes a village to swallow back his urge.

He wasn’t quite sure what genre of a movie this made his life, but it was a movie he would fuckin’ watch.

[rainbowsky]

Hi rainbowsky! I'm a new-ish (autumn 2023) Yizhan fan - it's been so much fun to explore and read everything available, your blog included! I really enjoy your opinions and insights. I have a question and a request. Question: When CQL first started airing, what were people saying about the relationship between WWX and LZ in the show, and about the actors playing them? Did the CP start right away? Request: Then later on, when the BTS started appearing (when was that - after the show finished airing, right?), what were people saying about the real interactions between the two actors? Were people shocked? Amazed? Even more curious? I can imagine social media was on fire! But I'd like to hear from someone who "lived" through it in real time. Please give me a description of what it was like - especially what your thoughts and feeling were as you saw it happening. I wish I could have been there! Thank you!

Hi Blbrave! Thanks so much, I'm glad you're enjoying my blog!

This is all a very, very long time ago, but I'll do my best to share what I can remember.

Actually, the CP started before the show began airing. The supertopics were opened during filming in 2018. I think this was inevitable, given that the series is based on a BL story. Of course fans of the novel will go into all of this with an eye toward the two characters and, by extension, GG and DD.

Similarly, as the show was airing of course there were a large number of viewers who knew it was a BL and viewed it as a BL at that time, even though it was being billed as a martial brotherhood series. There was a lot of analysis from fans trying to spot various ways that the production team managed to get around censorship and signal the queer romance between WWX and LWJ.

Others have done far better, more comprehensive analysis of all that than I could ever do, but it's so long ago I don't know where those posts might have gone. Some of this was discussed in my post about queerbaiting, so you can look there for more info.

As I said in that post, one of their smartest ways of highlighting the queer relationship was to downplay romance between the straight characters. We never see a straight couple doing something that we don’t also see LWJ and WWX doing. Yanli's wedding happens off camera, yet we see LWJ and WWX do their bows on camera. There’s never a kiss or any kind of PDA between straight characters, yet we see LWJ and WWX in each other’s arms throughout the series.

We got a gay kiss:

We got gay sex:

There was also the headband repeatedly being described as the domain of only family and spouses, and the various ways they connected it with WWX. WWX grabbing it when he was possessing the paperman, and also at one point being tied to LWJ by the wrist with the headband - all of this signalling that WWX was a spousal figure for LWJ.

There was the drunk scene with LWJ giving WWX chickens (a wedding tradition in China).

And many more examples I won't get into.

There were many of those types of things in the series, and they were discussed enthusiastically at the time. However, I don't think there were many bystanders who made those connections. It was primarily fans of the books/show (i.e. those who appreciated it as a BL story and not as a bromance/friendship story) who saw and discussed those hints.

I know the idea that anyone could be so oblivious to the gay subtext throughout the story that they miss the queerness entirely is hard to get one's head around, but straight viewers usually just see WWX and LWJ as best friends and sworn martial brothers. The show could never have been made or aired if that wasn't the case.

In fact, newer fans might not be aware that there was a lot of controversy during filming because of leaked early attempts to create a straight romance between Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing. Some relationship-building scenes between them were filmed, and at one point in the BTS GG is heard complaining about the straight romance and saying that all those scenes should be deleted.

In the production team's defense, there was doubt at the time about whether the show could air given its source material as a BL novel. They likely had investors and backers pressuring them to make sure that the story was unambiguously straight.

Fans of the novel made a massive uproar about it, threatening to boycott the series. The backlash was so extreme that it became a bigger threat to the success of the show, and the straight romance was killed. We all owe a lot to those agitators! 😅

The BTS

The BTS clips were first discussed in an Untamed press conference (that section of the interview starts at around 36:30). The producer said that in the future some of the behind-the-scenes moments would be shared. GG and DD exchanged a glance and looked extremely uncomfortable with it.

A lot of turtles find that clip funny, and laugh about what GG and DD might 'have to hide', but I have never understood how fans can find GG and DD's discomfort funny.

It might surprise some newer turtles to hear that there were moments where GG and DD appeared to be uncomfortable with the BTS, but there were.

Another moment happened in an interview where GG and DD were asked to explain a BTS scene of the two of them in the boat, where GG is lying in DD's lap. DD turns to the interviewer with a shocked and displeased look on his face and says, "They released this?"

There were other moments as well, but I haven't kept a comprehensive record of all that. This happened long before I clued in on how quickly clips can disappear in this fandom.

I believe that it is totally normal to have mixed feelings about the BTS, and I believe GG and DD are no exception to that. No doubt they enjoy some of the clips and feel uncomfortable about some of them, just like many turtles (myself included).

There were official BTS clips released during promo, but the unofficial BTS clips didn't come until later. I talked in more detail about the unofficial BTS and how they came to be released here.

The unofficial clips began being released by fansites in the fall of 2020. It would be hard to overstate how different the atmosphere around them was to what it is now. Now it's quite common to find BTS clips all over the place, both in C-social media and on international sites like YouTube and Instagram.

However, back in 2020 they were extremely hard to get ahold of, and sharing them outside of where they were initially released was strictly forbidden and frowned upon by fans. In fact, if you dig back through my 2020 posts I'm sure you'll find many posts where I admonish people not to share the BTS clips, and where I bitch about people sharing them without authorization. I also answered a lot of asks about these issues at the time (just one example).

Times have changed a lot, and now everyone is sharing them all very freely without any concerns.

The situation was a lot different back then:

GG and DD had gained a tremendous amount of popularity from the show, but their reputations and careers were not yet fully established and secure.

227 was still an active concern that was still making news and still impacting GG's life directly. He had not yet recovered from any of it and was still mostly lying low. He was constantly being attacked and antis were constantly out to get him.

The Untamed was still fresh and current, and being discussed regularly in the media. Because filming was still fairly recent, what happened during filming would still run the risk of impacting GG and DD's lives and careers.

Fans were coming under very close scrutiny because of 227 and other fandom-related scandals. The government was starting to crack down heavily on fandom culture.

This was all uncharted territory. No one knew how the BTS might be received, or how it might impact GG and DD. Fans were very freaked out about the possibility of anything compromising getting leaked and harming the boys.

No doubt fansites were also worried about how fans might respond to some of the releases, and wanted to ensure they didn't upset or anger fans, or stir up more excitement than could be safely contained within the fandom.

All of this contributed to a climate of extreme caution and secrecy around the release of BTS clips.

We never knew when one might be released, and when they were released they were typically only put online for a few minutes, then deleted. This was all done in an effort to limit the exposure of these clips primarily to turtles who have GGDD's best interests in mind.

The clips were heavily watermarked and overlaid with visual and audio curses that 'reuploaders must die!' ('banyun biss', which I'm sure most of you have encountered in some of the clips you've seen).

Early clips were heavily watermarked.

Those who missed out were out of luck. It was extremely socially unacceptable to re-share clips once they'd been deleted. Those who missed out would have to rely on recaps and transcripts from those who had seen the clips. Fans took to staying up all hours watching and waiting for a release.

Back in those days people tried to save every clip they could, hoarding them greedily. Turtles' phones were filling up with large video files. It's funny to think about now, because the clips are everywhere and so easy to find these days, but back then it was a whole Thing.

The initial releases were sporadic and quite tame as fansites dipped their toes in the water of how all this would be received. Gradually over time clips became more frequent and stayed up longer, and some of the more salacious stuff began being released. Those clips were often accompanied by hilarious intro images.

(For those who don't get it, it's the PornHub logo).

Of course all of the clips were heavily discussed as they came out, and a clearer picture of GG and DD's relationship and of their experience of filming began to take shape over time. Some of the fake rumors (such as the 49 fake candies and the CPN that GG designed a racing suit for DD) were gradually proved to be true as these clips were released. However, that was mostly confined to fandom circles.

There were occasionally times when these clips or their content would cross over into the mainstream and start trending on Weibo. In many of those cases, the hotsearches would be bought and pushed by antis of GG and DD who want to see them cancelled. At those times turtles would jump into action to wash those topics and replace them with mundane, unrelated content.

There were fan theories and fake rumors about GG and DD's reaction to the clips. Sometimes when new clips were released GG and DD would be seen online and turtles assumed they were watching them. Of course, considering the clips featured them, it's highly likely that they did eagerly await releases just like the rest of us.

I suspect that it was likely a mixed bag for them. Some clips might have really stressed them out either upon initial release or after reactions began to emerge, while others likely made them laugh and feel nostalgic about filming.

A large percentage of BXG light banners and slogans came directly out of the BTS, some of which you can see GG and DD discussing in LRLG rumors.

Dumplings, rice noodles, 3+2 biscuits (cr @knivescharade in this post), discussed in this LRLG rumor.

There were definitely a few scandals and close calls that came out of the unofficial BTS, and solos and antis frequently tried to use them against GG and DD and tried to spin negative narratives about their relationship using disingenuous takes and edits of them (they still do to this day).

For example, the clip where GG tells DD that he prefers a natural look to idol makeup was used against GG at the time, and antis tried to make it seem like GG was homophobic and that GG was against men wearing makeup. Some of the clips where they were playfighting or bickering were used to try to create a narrative that they hated each other. That kind of thing.

BTS and fan service

One of the most common questions I've gotten about the BTS - and I still often get this question - is, "Aren't the BTS just acted out/scripted as fan service to promote the show?"

There are a few reasons people have this question in their minds.

Solos #1 narrative about GGDD is that their CP was just for the show and the BTS was all fan service, and nothing about their relationship is real. They push this claim very aggressively on social media anytime GGDD or The Untamed is discussed, and new fans will almost always encounter those claims in this way.

CP fan service is a normal part of how dramas are promoted, so people familiar with Asian dramas will often immediately jump to that assumption about GG and DD and about the BTS.

Heteronormativity leads many people to immediately dismiss the possibility of a gay relationship, which leads them to try to come up with other explanations for those clips.

People naturally have a hard time believing what they're seeing with some of those clips. Some of it is pretty jaw-dropping and it's understandable that some people will be skeptical.

However, there are a lot of really good reasons why these clips are obviously not fan service.

For one thing, the show was billed as a martial brotherhood, not as a romance. Some of the official BTS clearly did try to appeal to CP and MDZS fans and could be counted as fan service, but those weren't even the ones BXG are most excited about. (There is a playlist of some of the official BTS clips here).

The most exciting stuff was never released during promo, and almost none of it is overtly romantic. A lot of it is really crude and totally unreleasable as promo. GG and DD are lewd, crude and often rude in ways that only two people who are really close could ever get away with. In many cases it's the casual way GG and DD constantly cross polite social boundaries with each other that shows their intimacy, rather than anything overtly sweet or romantic.

A lot of it is also totally incomprehensible to regular audiences. You have to be a turtle digging deeply into GGDD to understand the significance of most of it. For example the way GG took care of DD on his birthday, or the way DD constantly bargained and haggled with GG to get him to eat more.

Most importantly, if it was all fan service then why did GG and DD never do any joint CP endorsements? The entire point of doing that type of fan service is to make a buck. Other drama CP - including BL - do this all the time.

And it doesn't make sense that a production that was as low budget as The Untamed could afford to have the two lead actors learn a whole second set of lines and do a whole second performance that never ended up getting released.

And of course, none of that explains why the bulk of the BTS clips ended up in the hands of fans and released years after the show finished airing. A lot of it still has never been released to this day.

I've often joked that if the BTS were scripted they were far more complex, more melodramatic and better written than the drama itself. You just can't come up with this stuff in a writer's room. 😅

Anyway, this post got a bit long but hopefully it gives you a bit more of a picture of what it was all like at the time. Sorry, I guess I didn't talk much about my own feelings/reactions, but hopefully you can get somewhat of a sense.

Overall it was exciting, but I also had some deep reservations about it all (and got a lot of hate mail for voicing those feelings, too). Keep in mind this wasn't long after 227, so I think it's understandable that I was feeling very wary about everything.

But that's all water under the bridge now. It's been many years, and if the BTS were going to harm GGDD it would have already happened. I think it's all pretty safe territory now.

Edit: some more of my thoughts and feelings at the time:

One of the most exciting things for me about the BTS clips was seeing so many of the fake rumors being proved true. There were a lot of rumors (including the 49 fake candies) that I totally scoffed at when I first heard about them, only to later find via the BTS clips that I had been totally wrong about them and that these things had actually happened, and even crazier things were gradually revealed.

Things were changing pretty rapidly for a while there now that I think about it.

Learning more about their relationship and seeing just how much they looked out for each other was another big one for me. Also the timeline. The BTS really reinforced my belief in The Devil's Timeline (the belief that they got together prior to filming).

But overall that was a very different time in the fandom as well. There were always so many candies coming out, not just BTS clips but things that came out of GG and DD's activities and social media posts. It was a really really busy time in the fandom.

Since then there has been a government crackdown on fandom culture, on the entertainment industry, on LGBTQ etc. in China, plus DD's split with Nike and him having to delete a lot of his GG candy posts from his Weibo account.

Things are so different now, and unfortunately a lot of it for the worse. Being a turtle is not always easy, and I'm sure being GG and DD can't always be easy either. We make it work, but I do sometimes look back wistfully on the freer, more exciting times in the fandom.

More such times could come in the future. We just have to keep moving forward and hope for the best.

Somewhat related: I did a semi-comprehensive post about GG and DD's reaction to turtles here.

[the-cimmerians]

a storytime story. Not my story, it's my friend's, but she doesn't go here so I'm sharing for her. We'll call her Mara. Mara is a high-femme, lovely queer girl from a wealthy family in the southern US, but when I met her she'd been living in California for many years, chugging through her postgraduate education in Women's Studies. She rarely went home, because being at home was always a bit of a fraught experience: not unendurable (because to most heteronormative casual viewers the radiant queerness of a high-femme is pretty much indistinguishable from a quirky beauty queen waiting for the right football quarterback to sweep her off her feet), but still--not the most fun. Yet every once in a while, Mara would have a fit of 'dutiful daughter'-itis, and go home to mend some fences and keep some peace.

Mara's mother had often asked her to come with her to philanthropic events, but Mara had always said no. On this trip, however, Mara's mother had purchased a full table as an event sponsor, and she cajoled Mara into going with her. For those of you who haven't ever attended such an event, they are all different, and yet terrifyingly all the same (and I say this not as an attendee, but as an event-runner for various nonprofits; an event-runner who, fair warning, hates everything about these events, and this part of nonprofit work). There is some form of lower-calorie food (chicken or fish on greens with a very light citrus-fruit dressing is de rigeur, along with some sort of fruit-based airy parfait served in the smallest and most elegant glasses imaginable for dessert), usually an emcee (occasionally entertaining, but always inoffensive to the assembled guests), sometimes speakers (high-profile or famous women on a local or national level depending on the 'get' of the organization in question, or extremely well-spoken young people or teens for youth-serving organizations--with the youth in question being very carefully coached), and an 'ask'--the fundraising portion of the event, where the wealthy attendees compete with the rest of their friends and enemies in the social scene to be the most gracious and beneficent person in the room.

And there is gossip. So much gossip.

Poor Mara knew enough to expect some of this (mostly due to listening to me complain bitterly about how awful these events are), but there were aspects for which she was completely unprepared. Her mother had filled her sponsorship table with all of her closest friends, and the 'social hour' before the event started in earnest was a haze of white wine and a constant stream of excessively perfumed women dressed in full southern socialite chic, coming by the table to air-kiss cheeks and say how it's been ages since they've seen each other and what a darling ensemble, where on earth did you get it? and who does your hair now?--you must tell me, it's simply scrumptious--you look incredible, we really must do lunch some time soon--

...and the moment the woman or women in question moved on, the table, as a whole, in excited, urgent-whispered voices, would drag the everloving fuck out of every single lady they'd just been gushing over.

"Did you see how botched her last lift was? I hardly recognized her--I'm surprised she recognized me, with her eyes yanked back like that--" "so terrible, but she did go to the cheapest surgeon in town--husband has money troubles, you know--"

"Didn't expect to see her here, but I suppose you have to go somewhere to show off that large a collection of paste jewels--" "oh, stop, you wicked girl! But you're right, of course--and she gives herself such airs, like we don't all know--"

"Poor dear looks exhausted--apparently keeping up with her pool boy isn't easy at her age--" "Can't say that I blame her; that Carlos, have you seen him? Of course, she's hardly his only client. I've been dying for a pool, but my Henry just won't--"

"Quite a plucky little attitude for someone whose husband just left her for his twenty-two year old secretary--" "And after she put him through college and law school--I heard she's not even going to get to keep the house. She really should have sprung for a better lawyer--"

"I can't believe she still thinks she can fit into that dress, with all the weight she's packed on--" "Truly grotesque--just ghastly! Seems like last summer at the fat farm didn't do her as much good as one would have hoped--"

::giggle:: ::giggle:: ::giggle::

Mara was horrified, sitting there with a bland, polite smile frozen on her face, with her white gloves and vintage pillbox hat and charming little clutch bag, her seamed stockings and her kitten heels and her classic red lipstick and pin-curls (because in true unquenchable femme spirit, she had taken this occasion as an opportunity for dress-up, an opportunity for fun and play and sexy whimsy--a Gene-Tierney-does-pin-up-girl kind of vibe), utterly unable to see how to extricate herself from this terrible situation.

Another woman glided away from the table, coyly waving heavily-beringed fingers. "Yes, Darling," Mara's mother said, coyly waving back. "See you soon! Kiss-kiss! Love to Laurent!" She sat down and hissed to the cabal at the table: "Ha! Her husband just gave her an STD."

The woman to Mara's left leaned forward excitedly. "Really? Two-door or four-door?--wait, if it was the latest Aston Martin, I'm going to literally perish of envy--"

And that was the tipping point--Mara fled. Walked until she found a suitably divey coffee shop. Had a coffee and a slice of peach pie, and flirted with a soft Butch waitress until the world seemed less dire.

[tessarionbestgirl]

ok I have thinking about this for a awhile and people can disagree with me. I actually would like to hear the opinion of other people on this.

This season have been show Rhaenys showing a oddly suport for Jaehaerys I Targaryen, the man directly responsible for her loosing her crown. What makes me believe that, in a weird way she not only accept loosing the crown, and there are other elements that suport this. But as well a understanding that this is how things on Westeros work. She knows supporting Rhaenyra is a lost Battle, and makes her death scene so powerful having this is mind because you could see in her eyes, she accept that fate. And she still deep down believe Rhaenyra killed her son. And yet she gives in marriage Baela and Rhaena to those bastards kids in attempt to make Velaryon blood descendants for Difmark.

And is heavy show in S1 that her suport for them is based of those marriage connections. Whatever, while there is a long conversation how Helaena marring with Jace could save the war or not (clearly wouldn't), I wonder what Velaryon would still suport Rhaenyra if actually Alicent had make a deal in marrying Baela and Rhaena to Aegon and Aemond. We saw Aegon showing some sexual interest in Bella, And makes you wonder how Aemond and Rhaena dinamic would have play out considering he took from her the opportunity to hide her mother's dragon. Those relationship would be way richer to develop and play out than any of the young parings on TB.

And I think that also would make for sure Rhaenys support TG, and the Valaryon suport TG, what immediately would make Rhaenyra claim that they are not bastard fall even under.

And, while in the book make sense they being betrothed to each since kids because Laena/Daemon relationship with Rhaenyra/Laenor. The show cute that down by making Daemon isolate his wife, because they cut off completely the possible queer relationship between Rhaenyra and Laena so they could possible bait #that fandom. Taking out all those elements makes no sense that Rhaenys didn't though on making a union between her granddaughters and Aegon and Aemond.

Daemon could be the only that wouldn't support this idea, but at same time I wonder, considering how much he is interesting in the actual crown how much he would he being against in securing that he acual offspring would directly inherit the throne.

Of course that means if cared enough of his daughters as his heiresses. Because clearly both him and Colarys, don't care really about blood, but names, male names, blood related or not than the actual Velaryon blood that if this comes in the figure of a women. Falling to the ground the Idea that TB is the pro feminism team in my opinion.

Even so if somewhat they still menage to convince Daemon into marrying his daughters to Aegon and Aemond so his offspring would be king or queen , this war would be way more complex, because wouldn't be just Targaryens vs Targaryans but also Valaryons vs fake Valaryons and Valaryons bastards when they come in later. Daemon would directly fight his daughters to maintain the rights of his children with Rhaenyra. Meanwhile Baela and Rhaena would fight for their right over Difmark agaist Luke/ Addan and Aly.

[skepsiss]

Time - One shot - Steddie

A very short steddie short (less than 700 words). A poetic summary of their relationship across 2-3 decades. Romantic, fluff.

Rating: G

It took time to get to their 20s. To get to where Steve could stand in the wings of the stage and watch sweat fly off his boyfriend as he yelled into a mic. It took time to feel like he was truly one of the guys, to feel comfortable in queer spaces. It took time before he grew used to waking up in the morning with Eddie beside him in bed, sleepy smiles on their faces. It took time, so much time, before they lived together, before their clothes shared the same closet and they crammed into a one-bedroom apartment. It took time. Steve couldn't remember when he had accepted, when image mattered less than love and he could openly accept Eddie running off stage and into his arms. When he didn't blush horribly and look around with worry on his face when Eddie kissed him hard on the mouth, still adrenaline high from performing. It took time for him to accept that this was just how Eddie was and nothing was going to change that. That Eddie, of all people, had an interior so soft, so filled with love, Steve felt like his feelings were dwarfed beside them no matter how much he loved him. It took time and more time for them to grow, for them to have a space that was there's and Steve's name wasn't hidden from tabloids. It had been scary at first, but purposeful. Eddie holding his hand in public as they left a venue, images of them plastered across magazines as people questioned who was with Eddie Munson. 

It was time, and Steve learned to wait. Learned that time healed scars and only made him love Eddie deeper. That they could move through life together at their own pace and have no expectations. It took time to grow used to that and he had never gotten used to how thrilled he was every time Eddie came home. How excited they both were to touch each other after a tour after Eddie had been away for so long. It was to be expected. To wake up in the morning and know if he ventured to shower first that a groggy Eddie would soon follow. That Steve would open his arms to him and they would sway in the spray from the shower head. That with time the water would grow cold and Steve would quietly curse Eddie out for being too cute. For loving him too much. For why it took so much time for them to start dating. But it was just time and Steve relished every minute of it. Every moment he got to see Eddie's face scrunch up with frustration when a movie based on a book got a scene wrong. When he bitched people out for their taste in music or whether or not they agreed with him on trivial matters. How stuck up he was when it came to his boyfriend. How he walked Steve around like he was a prize even 10 years later. Even when it was still taboo to have people know. But with time even that passed. Steve was still a prize to him, but people cared less about the taboo. It took time, a lot of time, but eventually Steve was able to return that sentiment. It took time for the government to allow it, for it to be an option for them in the first place, but it was just time. Time that Steve had been waiting for year after year for as long as he had known that he loved Eddie. For when he could buy him a ring that wasn't painted in chrome and bore some satanic face for Eddie's own amusement.

Time to plan and time to share; time together. It took time for Eddie to look into his eyes when they were finally able to share an altar, surrounded by friends and the US government let them, legally, say that they loved one another. It had taken time even though Steve had known for years. Even though they were old now. It had taken time, but it had only been time.

[peachviz]

A scene from Deathwatch (1966)

starring Leonard Nimoy in one of the lead roles vying for the attention and approval of his cellmate, “Green Eyes”

A film ahead of its time based off the play written by Jean Genet. While the film adaptation is not very strong it is still ahead of its time with its queer identity, imagery, and critique on toxic masculinity

[dittoapokemon]

The major discourse I see about Saltburn is whether it’s about class or queer obsession. Surprise! It’s both! Spoilers below.

So at the start it’s definitely about queer obsession. Ollie is enthralled by Felix and as we learn at the end is happy to play the hapless little damaged boy to get his attention. We see a lot of affection and intimacy between the two. And at this point Ollie has never seen Saltburn. He knows Felix is rich and has a castle but that’s it. @magicspeedwagon7 has a great post about how we get a tour of Saltburn but not really. The whole scene is focused on Felix. He points to things out of frame and we don’t see them because we are watching him through Ollie’s eyes. We see him impressed by the house but once Felix is in the room he is all that matters. Here is where we see the major theme being his obsession with Felix.

And we see this building obsession with Felix. Leading to the bathtub scene. I think here and the grave scene is where we see Oliver at his truest. His most uncontrolled. He just can’t stop himself. He is alone and can act on pure emotion and simply do whatever he desires. He doesn’t just love Felix. He wants to ABSORB him. He wants to become one with him. Of course these are interspersed with scenes of him manipulating the family. This is when we see him desire both the house AND Felix. And the way to get the house is through Felix. We see the mingling of both themes, his obsession with Felix and his obsession with having more in terms of wealth and status.

He is being taunted constantly that Felix will throw him away because he simply enjoys broken toys until a new, more broken object comes along. He tried to disregard it. And then Pamela dies. And he watches how easily the family disregards her. She had lived with them for months and they threw her out.

Before I continue this whole thing hinges on the mirror scene. We watch him meticulously wrap his hand and then punch the mirror. Most people would just punch the mirror in a rage by Oliver takes the necessary precautions but in all that time still can’t calm himself. He still has to react with emotion.

And then his lies are revealed. And he tries to talk to Felix and he’s not having it. We see him cry alone, not for an audience, twice and one is when Felix first rejects him. He blows him off so he follows him to the maze. At this point he’s already dosed the bottle. So even though Felix is showing some tenderness. Even though he nearly kisses him. He shows concern. Ollie can’t see it. He has acted meticulously, dosing the bottle, taking a drink, throwing up, but he is acting on pure rage and fear. He’s been rejected by Felix and that’s driving him insane. And he’s scared that this is it, he’s being thrown away so Felix can go find his next fix. He can’t stop himself at this point. He can’t see the tenderness through his own emotion.

And so Felix dies. And Oliver doesn’t know what to do. The object of his desire is gone because of him. He killed him after being rejected. And he can’t handle that. He can’t accept that he reacted based on emotion. No! He’s a mastermind! The puppet master pulling the strings! But the only other time we see him cry while alone is over Felix’s death. All the times he cries in privacy are over Felix. He desired Felix and Saltburn and now there is only Saltburn. We have gone through him being obsessed with Felix, to being obsessed with Felix and Saltburn, and finally obsessed with Saltburn and convincing himself it’s always only been Saltburn.

It’s important to also understand the Cattons aren’t just rich. They’re British nobles. Oliver could only become one of them through marriage. And there’s a tendency of the middle class to appropriate the lives of those poorer while constantly desiring to the top of the food chain. Keeping up with the Joneses. They want to be the top 1% but while in America it’s possible to get there from the middle class (not easy, usually you still have to be born into that but you can do it) in Britain that’s the nobles. You can have more money than God you’ll still never be able to be them without marriage or birth.

It’s also worth noting that while killing the Catton women Ollie has no problem getting his hands dirty. He slices Venetia’s wrists, and he pulls out Elspeth breathing tube. But the men? James he simply waits to pass, I think he knew he’d never truly get an opportunity to kill him and not get caught. And Felix he poisons. He kills him in a way that not only requires no physical violence but one he also doesn’t have to witness. And he doesn’t kill Farleigh. He gets him kicked out. I think he knew Farleigh was the one who could truly see him. Not entirely, not the darkness, but he knew something else was going on there. So he was the biggest threat. So instead of neutralizing him himself, he convinces the family to do it.

Well Ollie has lost the man he loved/was obsessed with. Who could’ve been his ticket into this life. And he can’t stand he lost him to such a disgusting display of emotion. So he convinces himself it’s part of his plan. See he wanted the house. Never Felix, just Saltburn. Like so many middle class men he just wanted more. Greater. To be a part of that elite social class he never could. So he keeps going. Devising a plan to get everyone else out of his way. He’s willing to play the long game now. And if taking Saltburn allows him to also retain pieces of Felix, well that’s fine by him.

And he gets what he wants. But there’s the rub, he owns Saltburn. And all the money he could want. And he will still never be noble. He can never bridge that gap. The only way to become noble is birth or marriage. Because he lost what he truly wanted: Felix.

[thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai]

On Love Eros is a textbook depiction of how a figure skating routine evolves over a season

If you watch figure skating, you might have noticed that skaters grow into their programmes as the season progresses and that sometimes elements (usually jumps) are rearranged or replaced because the skater struggles with them or to increase the base score of the programme. In Yuri On Ice!!!, there is a lot of this, most prominently in Yuuri’s and Yuri’s programmes. In the following, I will break this down for Yuuri’s short programme On Love: Eros as this provides the most comprehensive data on the subject.

Presentation

Figure skating is, to somewhat extent, acting. A programme can require a skater to slip into a role (I’ve heard of skaters who take acting classes for this), but even for a programme that portrays a skater’s feelings basic expression and projection skills are useful. Yuuri skates at his best when he skates true to his feelings and because of this, he gets high programme component scores (PCS), which help him make up for messed-up jumps. But when Viktor assigns On Love: Eros to him, Yuuri has no idea how to skate it. For how shall he express something he hasn’t experienced before?

Yuuri has never thought about love much less had a relationship. He says of himself that he didn’t pay attention to the things happening around him because he focused on skating since laying his eyes on Viktor for the first time. However, Viktor’s demonstration of On Love: Eros has given him an idea of a possible story:

A playboy comes to town and bewitches the women left and right. He decides to pursue the most beautiful woman in town, but she isn’t swayed. As they play the game of love, she finds it difficult to make the right choices and ends up falling for him. Then, he casts her aside as if he’s tired of her and goes off to the next town.

Which pretty much describes the situation in episodes 2&3 as Yuuri perceives it, including a possible scenario that Viktor discards him for coaching Yurio. (It also represents Viktor’s misperception of poor drunk Yuuri at the banquet, but that’s beside the point.)

Yuuri very keenly feels that he’s not at all like the playboy in his story as he considers himself physically unattractive and lacks confidence. Thankfully, Viktor’s old costume inspires him to swap roles and play the woman in his story as her part is closer to “how he feels”. To win, he must change the story and make Viktor stay. It’s unclear whether “how he feels” also refers to his unique notion of sexiness as a queer man, but as queer people are less likely to adhere to cishet stereotypes, it can very well be an additional factor. As a result of his revelation, he asks Minako to teach him to move more femininely. In the show, this is expressed in Yuuri using female pronouns during the first two times he skates Eros (the female Japanese “I” is “atashi”) and his voice being softer compared to when he’s off-ice. To cover up for his inexperience, he thinks of his favourite dish, which he’s only allowed to eat when he wins. Ironically, katsudon is a wrapper for everything Yuuri wants besides eating this food: he wants to win and he wants to eat katsudon with Viktor, representing his wish for Viktor to stay his coach (and maybe other things concerning Viktor he may not yet be able to express).

Yuuri's approach to expressing Eros reminds me of how actors approach the portrayal of an experience they never made themselves or that is hard to conjure. As a writer, I do this a lot too when putting myself in a character’s shoes. Switching the viewpoint character is also super helpful when a scene just doesn’t work the way I want it to (which is kinda what Yuuri does, too).

In episode 5, the story Yuuri wove around his programme has changed. His portrayal of Eros has evolved, but it’s not yet perfected. He still impersonates a woman and a tasty katsudon (“I’m a katsudon fatale that enthrals men” using “atashi”), but now it’s the woman who discards the man and goes off pursuing the next man.

Yuuri predominantly focuses on trying to include Viktor’s advice when he was flirting with Yuuri in the rink coaching him (“dance more like you’re trying to seduce me”). Only close to the end, he remembers the story of his programme: “On the conclusion for the love-crazed couple… how did it go?” which is kinda distanced compared to his thoughts about Viktor flirting with him and might imply that he doesn’t fully identify with the role.

As a sexually experienced person Yuuri’s coach, it’s evident to Viktor that Yuuri is still wrestling with his portrayal of Eros (which must be strange as he remembers how Yuuri was at the banquet lol). However, between episodes 5 and 6, something important happens: Yuuri and Viktor finally get together and thus the nature of their interactions changes (I discussed Japanese dating culture and how this is portrayed in YOI here). Because of this, Viktor instructs Yuuri to seduce him as himself the next time when he skates Eros in competition, which is at the Cup of China. And Yuuri’s reaction says it all.

Yuuri promptly starts using the same pronoun he uses when he refers to himself in his dialogue lines throughout the anime (“boku” is the Japanese standard male pronoun for “I). The programme is no longer a story with a protagonist Yuuri has to impersonate and identify with to some degree, but about him actively seducing Viktor with his own charms. It’s unclear whether he keeps the “female” skating style despite the pronoun change as this exceeds the limits of the animation (skating scenes are super difficult to animate so the pronouns might serve as a proxy for what the creators couldn’t translate into images). However, as Yuri!!! is super queer, I headcanon this style to become less exaggerated as it evolves into a natural expression that is 100% Yuuri as he fully blooms into his unique notion of Eros as part of his queer journey and his deepening relationship with Viktor.

However, it’s beyond doubt that the evolution of Yuuri’s portrayal of Eros is also closely tied to his relationship. Taking Viktor’s pep talk, Yuuri’s inner monologue while skating (“I am the only one who can satisfy Viktor”), and their exchange in the kiss and cry into account, skating seductively isn’t the only thing Yuuri thought of doing to Viktor *cough*, and they both know. As a result, he delivers a stellar performance with a new personal best.

I don’t think I need to elaborate on the off-ice activities the two likely have engaged in between the Cup of China and the Rostelecom Cup. As a result of his deepening relationship with Viktor and the subsequent experiences made, Yuuri scores even higher when he skates Eros in Russia. Being far away in a place where people might resent him for stealing Viktor from the sport, fuels his possessiveness which is one aspect of his Eros and ends in him getting an even higher score. His short programme has reached a stage at which he can hardly improve it any further with its current layout.

Before I’ll talk about the last time we see Yuuri skating Eros, let’s dive into the technical side.

Technical aspects

Eros is a super difficult programme for a skater with lots of stamina. All the jumps are in the second half and every entry into a jump is more difficult than the previous one, starting with a spread-eagle into the 3A and ending with a lunge entry into the 4T+3T combination. The step sequence which covers the better part of the first half looks quite demanding, too, as it has to match the pace of the music. All this makes the programme pretty ruthless, matching the theme. The initial layout includes a 3S as the second jump, which Yuuri decides turns into a quad in an attempt to beat Yuri at the Onsen on Ice because he is that desperate to win. Of course, this doesn’t go as planned, but Yuuri had to take the risk. As a side effect, it makes the entire routine even more daring. (fun fact: many irl skaters struggle with the 4S too)

As said above, Yuuri skates at his best when he skates true to his feelings. This is especially true for jumps as he is prone to flub them when something is on his mind or the programme isn’t working for him for whatever reason. To successfully land a quad jump, everything going into the execution like technique, timing, speed, power of takeoff, the moment of opening the body before landing etc. must be finely tuned. So, it’s no surprise that Yuuri nails only the 4S when he fully settled into the programme in episode 6.

For the Grand Prix Final, Yuuri changes his jump layout of Eros one last time to maximise its base score. Again, it’s a risk he’s willing to take to win. He’s been taking risks all season by changing jumps, most prominently in his free programme when he included the 4F to surprise Viktor, and now he plans to jump the 4F in Eros as the final jump, while the 4S remains in the second jumping pass but is combined with the 3T whereas the 4T is omitted.

For reference: these are the base values of the jumps in question as they appear in Yuri!!!*:

3S: 4.4

4S: 10.5

4T: 10.3

4F: 12.3

The 4F is a jump so far only Viktor could land successfully in competition and so it became his signature move. It symbolises everything Viktor is to Yuuri and expresses his desire to become as good as Viktor or even surpass him, as well as his romantic feelings. Including it in Eros, adds a possessive layer to the many things the 4F represents like showing the world that Viktor is his now, but also Yuuri’s ambition and growth as a person including his newly-discovered confidence. Remember the flashback to the rink between the Rostelecom Cup and the Grand Prix Final when Yuuri had already proposed to Viktor? “You want to see me land a quad flip in the short programme, right?” “I do!” It sounds a lot like a second proposal—all this is ultimately part of Yuuri’s Eros, too.

In the end, Yuuri doesn’t nail the 4F and ends up in fifth place after the short programme as his mind was more occupied with winning than with seducing Viktor. I like to believe that Yuuri succeeds at the next competition and that he continues refining his SP throughout the rest of the figure skating season as his relationship with Viktor deepens and evolves further. But as the anime ends mid-season, this speculation is mostly based on watching irl figure skating and my headcanon.

Closing remarks on queer presentation

What sometimes is referred to as “female” expression in dance sports is a soft and sensual movement style as opposed to the cishet male stereotype (strong, shows little emotion etc). It basically describes a gay stereotype. However, how a queer person presents can apply to a variety of queer labels. Being queer myself, I don’t feel comfortable deriving labels from isolated information for an individual be they real or fictional. I don't want to promote stereotypes, and because of this, you won't find me jumping to conclusions about their unique queerness.

Japanese pronouns

For further reading about Japanese pronouns especially when used by queer people, I recommend this comprehensive article. Having read this, Yuuri’s switch to “atashi” during the first two times he skates Eros, makes even more sense to me.

*these base values were the same in the seasons I checked starting from the 2014/15 season to the 2016/17 season, which encompasses the time Yuri!!! was produced.

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[poorlittleyaoyao]

top 5 widely accepted fanon you have beef with, go

OH MAN. My dash is curated like a well-funded museum so I am blissfully sheltered from nonsense. However, based on hearsay and in no particular order...

Literally anything about Mo Xuanyu. My primary frame of reference is CQL (a disclaimer I feel obliged to put on any meta posts, this one included!), which says next to nothing about MXY. I genuinely thought, based on what I'd seen in fandom, that Novel MXY was canonically a petite uwu soft goth boi who'd been part of the Jinlintai Demonic Cultivation Research Department until JGY falsely accused him of harassment and expelled him as part of his Evil Keikaku(TM). And like... that's all possible, and fully workable within the canon framework, but it's not indisputably textual. It's a shame, because I'd find all of these fanons compelling if they weren't repeated as fact!

Mean Lesbian Wen Qing. As with the above, this is fully workable within canon, and I fully sympathize with being a queer woman who wants to see other queer women in fiction. This is even hypocritical of me, perhaps, given how I am so deep in the weeds with the fanons of Lesbian Margaery Tyrell and Lesbian Johanna Mason (for the books, not the adaptations) that I genuinely forget that this isn't canon. But Johanna and Margaery both have meaningful (and quite charged imo!) on-page interactions with other women outside their families in their source material. Wen Qing doesn't, because this canon is deeply disinterested in what its female characters are up to. Lesbian Wen Qing feels less like desperately latching onto queer subtexts and more like a convenient way to remove her from the male characters and/or dunk on Jiang Cheng. If there were an abundance of Wen Qing femslash to accompany this fanon, I'd fell differently, but as it stands... nah, son.

Mean Hypermasculine Dom Nie Mingjue. Maybe it's different in the novel (though based on my understanding of Novel Da-Ge, why would you bother?), but in CQL? Where he feels his emotions up to 11 and cries about all of them? Where his memories of Meng Yao in Nightless City feature an assertive Meng Yao with flawless contouring, on-point eye makeup, and a level of manhandling and verbal degradation that is not at all present in the original version of this scene? The sensitive man with comically horny memories of being captured by his ex gets off on being a macho seme caricature? lololol okay.

Jin Guangyao and Nie Huaisang, Diabolical Murderous Supergeniuses. Canon is quite clear that neither of these men are the brilliant chessmasters fanon makes of them. Jin Guangyao plans meticulously, but he's far from ruthless; as others have pointed out, Jin Guangyao preserves a whole slew of people it would've been more practical to kill, with results that lead directly to his downfall. Nie Huaisang is ruthless, but he doesn't plan for shit; his strengths are his swift reaction time and his ability to hold a grudge, because it is straight-up not possible for Nie Huaisang to anticipate all of the events after the timeskip. They're both forces to be reckoned with, but they both get too much credit as schemers.

Wei Wuxian is basically A-Yuan's dad. This might not even count as a fanon, but 1.) I cannot STAND the tendency for fandoms to impose nuclear family roles onto character dynamics, and 2.) Wei Wuxian knew A-Yuan for like 1.5 years when A-Yuan was a toddler and wasn't even his primary caregiver. Do you think of your preschool or kindergarten teachers--who spent more time with you per day than Wei Wuxian spent with A-Yuan--as your long-lost parents? PROBABLY NOT.

[aida-sparks]

Buddie Season 7 Hype and "Brothers" Rumor

I know some of us may have seen the "brother" rumors floating around, hinting that an upcoming Buck and Eddie scene this season might officially cast their relationship as strictly platonic.

Some fans just want to live in the buddie moment and be happy after the stills and 7x04 synopsis dropped. I get it. It's fun being on the buddie train. But some are worried now that they've gotten their hopes up. I get that too. So I just wanted to talk about it here on my little buddie blog. If you're unbothered by it, definitely scroll past this post.

Firstly, we don't know yet if they will actually call each other brothers or not. It's just rumors at this point, from what I can tell. And if even if they do, we don't know the full context of it or either character's reaction to it. Secondly, just the way the show has stirred up the buddie hype this season makes me want to believe the "brother" dialogue that may or may not even happen would NOT be meant to shut down buddie canon hope once and for all.

While I don't think we're getting a clear and true, full out buddie-feelings-realization in these next couple episodes, it would be very cruel if the show instead went in the extreme opposite direction and defined their relationship as "like brothers" at the end of this particular storyline that has fans so hyped up, if their intention in doing so is meant to cement their relationship in the general audience's eyes as brotherly only. Let's be real: the show has ramped up the marketing attention on Buck and Eddie this season like never before. From pre-releasing a ton of Buck-and-Eddie-centric stills to the decision of pairing Ryan and Oliver together so damn much for promotions … all actions not seen on this level in any previous seasons.

To me, that demonstrates the show's intentions to build hope for buddie rather than dash it.

Especially because we know the show KNOWS their audience. I think the show knows how to market to the buddie fandom, even when they're marketing differently to the rest of the general audience and other potential viewers. They are acutely aware that the buddie fans tend to be dialed in, always seeing the episode stills the instant they're released, waiting on pins and needles for the next synopsis to drop, theorizing, reading each article, devouring every interview, examining bts details, etc. They tend to be highly engaged fans.

The showrunners and powers-that-be know how this promotional content is perceived and are aware of the fandom's dedication, and so have fed into the fervor with strategically released content for calculated engagement. And now we have the carefully worded synopsis for 7x04, where we've been told Eddie will form a close bond with someone else, and Buck will be envious over it. It's obvious how buddie fans will perceive this. So for them to pivot so sharply and end up defining Buck and Eddie's relationship as nothing more than brotherly after such a known buildup would not only be a massive letdown but might also be perceived as an uncaring bait-and-switch tactic. And I really don't they would do that to their fans.

They wouldn't hype us up to the top of a cliff knowing they're only going to throw us off it, right?

I don't want to get into if it would be queer baiting or not; the situation isn't black and white, and I don't think it's blatant enough to be considered anything like that. It's more about the emotional investment the fans have made, based on the carefully crafted cues the show has provided them with. The ethical route, if the showrunner's intention this season was always to solidify buddie as a brotherly bond with no romantic potential, would have been to firmly manage expectations from the start rather than amplifying them to the point of no return going into this network change and new season. To sum up here, the buildup we've been given around Buck and Eddie lately leads me to hope we're moving in an optimistic direction that will eventually culminate in the chance for a buddie romance at some point in the series. At the very least, I hope it means we're not going to have our hopes crushed entirely and see Buck and Eddie be officially friend-zoned. (Even though we can certainly still ship them to eternity and beyond regardless, it means so much if them going canon remain a possibility.)

To officially redefine Buck and Eddie's pairing in strictly platonic terms now, after all these seasons, would not only be a disservice to an incredibly invested fanbase but also a hell of a missed opportunity to go on and explore a rich relationship in a more dynamic way, especially as buddie has captivated viewers for so long in a slow-burn sense already.