#barty: i packed enough socks

[birlwrites]

will hocruxes still be a thing in ttdl? and if so are regulus and his homies gon have to go find and destroy them all??? i’m imagining barty and evan camping in the woods like the golden trio did and it’s cracking me up honestly

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

they will have to find and destroy the horcruxes but there will be absolutely minimal camping, because evan is prepared to do pretty much anything to avoid camping. he's never done it but he knows he hates it. a tent large enough for the main essentials of life (bed, shower, walk-in closet, candy drawer) improves the situation, but the fact remains that he'd be bored out of his skull after 3 straight days of no progress, and if you're camping on the horcrux hunt there is nothing else to do.

but also i'm envisioning barty and evan packing for their camping trip to find horcruxes and barty throwing spellbooks into one trunk and potions ingredients and equipment into another so they're Ready For Anything™ and evan installing an extra closet for his top 5 favorite broomsticks Just In Case, except for his very favorite which he's keeping at home where it's safe

evan rolling up to the tent on the morning they're supposed to leave: okay i got the last stuff i needed i'm ready to go

barty: do we actually need a potted plant and three bags of mini marshmallows--

evan: yes.

barty: is the plant useful at least

evan, in between handfuls of mini marshmallows: it brightens up the space

i can also see like. two months down the line. evan's persevering on the horcrux hunting front but he keeps dealing with his boredom by making illegal portkeys to go to diagon alley and find some new things for their tent. they now have six plants, two packed bookshelves, eighteen enchanted ceiling mobiles (one of them sang but evan got bored of this after ~15 minutes and ended that particular enchantment), a couch, an armchair, three area rugs, several landscape paintings, a full tea set, a bathtub, and a stained glass window. evan is considering getting a cat. or maybe a herd of peacocks like the malfoys have. or maybe a puppy--

if regulus is there, evan is at least less bored, and the horcrux hunt definitely goes faster, but regulus INDULGES evan's complaining about camping which means barty is in hell. fortunately for everyone, he tends to take his feelings out on death eaters, which means regulus's side is doing great, but evan should probably invest in an additional wing on the tent just for space purposes

and then if evan does get a cat, it will adore barty, which barty thinks is HILARIOUS