#barbie rapuzel

[georgi-girl]

Barbie Villains Are Scarier Than I Thought

Barbie in the Nutcracker has the Mouse King, who's voiced by Tim Curry and almost never played for laughs, attempting to chop the Nutcracker to pieces with an axe and then burn him alive in a fire.

Barbie as Rapunzel has Gothel, who kidnapped Rapunzel to start a war between two kingdoms that almost killed a little girl, is emotionally abusive to Rapunzel and her friends, is powerful enough to enslave dragons, and her magic makes her almost unstoppable and spends the majority of the final battle chasing everyone.

Barbie of Swan Lake has Rothbart, who's out to kill Odette for a majority of the movie. After rendering the Magic Crystal powerless, Rothbart blasts Daniel and Odette with his magic, killing them both until their love revives them.

Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus: Wenlock is a G-rated sexual predator. He goes from kingdom to kingdom, forcing women to accept his hand in marriage or face awful consequences. He introduces himself by turning everyone in the kingdom to stone and giving Princess Annika three days to accept his proposal before the spell becomes permanent. Before the film began, he transformed Princess Brietta into the titular pegasus when her parents refused his proposal, and turned three women unlucky enough to actually marry him into mute, goblin-like slaves after getting bored with them. He nearly kills Brietta in front of her own sister, and buries Annika alive in an avalanche when she stands up for her family. 

Barbie in the 12 Dancing Princesses: Duchess Rowena is a master manipulator and comes the closest to winning out of nearly every Barbie villain. As she slowly poisons King Randolph to death, she plays the part of a loving relative to gain his trust and cut him off from his twelve daughters, until he willingly makes her his successor on his deathbed. In turn, she manipulates the 12 princesses, undermining their self-esteem and capabilities to help their father, to the point that they decide to leave the kingdom for their mother's secret pavilion, believing Rowena's lie that they are the cause of their father's failing health. Before they can realize their mistake, she imprisons them in their place of refuge and steals some of its magic. Upon their escape, she uses the stolen magic to place a Fate Worse than Death curse on Princess Genevieve, compelling her to dance herself to death, which Genevieve only escapes by weaponizing the paper fan Rowena yelled at the girls about earlier. Rowena and her henchman Desmond may well still be trapped in the dance spell to this day. 

Barbie as the Island Princess has Queen Ariana. She plans to murder Antonio and his family, poisons the animals so they'll starve to death in an endless sleep, only had a daughter to serve her own ends, bribes a guard to kill Ro and her friends by knocking them into the ocean, and gained her title through marrying and killing an elderly king with a heart condition.

And those are just the ones I’ve seen! 

[4ddi3addie2005]

Hear me out

[nyonyabejiyu]

~`*Barbie rapuzel 2002 book`*~

[cauliflowergnocchidyke]

Pretty much every 2000s barbie movie passes the bechdel test with flying colors which says a lot but im not really ready to articulate exactly what

[bisexualdemondean]

As a casual observer, I'd say the tie for the crown is between Barbie Rapuzel and Fairytopia.

Yeah I got this the first time

[couragehopelovefaith]

My favorite Barbie-lyrics

“I need to know these answers, I need to find my way. Seize my tomorrow, learn my yesterday. I need to take these chances Let all my feelings show. Can't tell what's waiting, still I need to go I need to know.” (Barbie as the Island Princess)

“Everybody is born to care. It’s something we were meant to share Not to keep to ourselves all alone. If we make room for someone new, doesn’t mean that there’s less for you. Only means that our circle has grown.” (Barbie as the Island Princess)

“I'm making my way, you see, throwing out the disbelief I'm jumping in and giving it everything. There's nothing left to prove to anybody else but me. So go right ahead and call me crazy cause I'm making my way. This life is a maze sometimes, but at least this life is mine.” (Barbie and the Three Musketeers)

“I close my eyes and feel myself fly a thousand miles away I could take flight but would it be right? My conscience tells me stay!

- - Like a bird that flies in the morning light or a butterfly in the spring. When your spirit rides the wings of hope, you'll find your wings. - - What you see may be decieving, truth lies underneath the skin. Hope will blossom by believing the heart that lies within.” (Princess and the Pauper)

“The whole “Here I Am”. (Princess and the Popstar)

“I don't have the balance, think I'm gonna fall. Wish I had the talent, I don't belong here at all. Drowning in the pressure in over my head. Why did I think I could do this? I could've walked away instead. - - Now this is my chance to break free, everything's depending on me and if I keep trying I'll be on top of the world, where I can see everything before me. Reaching up to touch the sky on top of the world. All of my dreams are rushing toward me, stretching out my wings to fly. - - Nothing can defeat me, if the change is in my heart. - - Without a doubt, keep on moving, I can't give in now.�� (The Charm School)

“Constant as the stars above Always know that you are loved and my love shining in you will help you make your dreams come true!” (Barbie as Rapuzel)

[krispdreemurr]

Pt 1: Ok so don’t take this seriously but about The idea of Susie being to breathe fire but hardly at all, that was funny and reminded me of the purple dragon named Penelope from the Barbie Rapuzel movie I used to watch when I was a little kid, (keep in mind a clear distinction from Tangled) but then I tossed the idea of there being a Deltarune Barbie Rapunzel au and even though not everything is a perfect fit but it’s still funny

Pt 2: So now I just am laughing at the idea that Kris is Rapunzel and Susie is the Dragon and Ralsei is the voice of reason rabbit character whose name I can’t remember and the rest of the characters would be filled in even if the story doesn’t exactly make sense I just think the idea is really funny, okay I’m done now sorry for wasting timePt 3: I realized that Gothel would probably be the player or something and now I’m sad okay I’m really sorry for bothering you now I will leave *walks out the door*

i have no idea what any of this references but sounds fun, anon!

[thatshighlyoffensive]

THAT’S HIGHLY OFFENSIVE: MET GALA 2017

THAT’S HIGHLY OFFENSIVE: MET GALA 2017

Well, well, welcome to the annual skewering of Dummies with Money Pretending They Care About Anything Other Than Themselves AKA the Met Gala 2017 (or as Drew Jordan called it, “a party for relatives of famous people.” I hate most of the people that attended this year, plus my supply of fucks is as depleted as my bank account these days, so the positive reviews are scarce. Cat and I watched the E! red carpet coverage together and tried really hard to care, but it never happened. We were passionate about one thing though: Whoever manned the camera tonight should be fired and exiled to a country where they only photograph people from the shoulders up and then seek treatment for his obvious battle with Parkinson’s. HIGHLY OFFENSIVE. Enjoy!

Giuliana Rancid (who is obviously not at the actual event because she would never be invited to anything other than a Ruby Tuesday’s salad bar ribbon cutting) spent the evening with a bunch of other nobodies in a studio on the west coast and chose to drape her Antz body in the milky exoskeleton of one of her albino brethren.

I hate Katy Perry almost as much as I hate Lena Dunham, so the fact that she has dated my future husband John Mayer is something that whittles away at my black heart daily, and whatever the hell I’m looking at on the red carpet right now just took out another big chunk. I literally cannot, so that’s all.

Lily Collins looks like the Berries ’n’ Cream Starburst guy on his way to a Sophia Coppola sponsored transgender formal.

Kendall Jenner would be 100% perfection if she’d done something different with her hair. Those legs, MY GOD.

Kylie Jenner (as always) looks like Bruce Jenner in a Pretty Woman wig with a Kris Kardashian’s worth of plastic surgery in a girdle and pair of Steve Maddens.

Rose Byrne: The sun’ll come ouuuut tomorrow! Actually, it saw you tonight and decided not to.

Brie Larson looks like the love child of Babette the feather duster and one of my hand bells from middle school church choir in Dorothy Zbornak’s footwear.

Lily James looks like Natalie Portman from Black Swan wrapped in a Swiffer Wet Jet.

Rihanna looks like two Jimmy Dean sausage links wrapped in red licorice, stuffed into a clotted human heart piñata.

Naomi Watts looks more like Nicole Kidman every day. But probably my favorite look of the night.

Celine Dion looks like Jenna Lyons wrapped one of her old, bedazzled J. Crew tees in the Oscar gown she pulled out of Angelina Jolie’s trash can and secured it with the straps from one of the antique electric chairs Billy Bob is afraid of. #teamjolie

Bella Hadid- I don’t love all the weight she’s lost since becoming an ‘it’ girl/I’m insanely jealous, but her look harkens back to the origins of the MET ball aka the OG supermodels and the designers that loved them, so I give her look an A.

GiGi- While I really do appreciate your channeling of Christy Turlington (whether you meant to or not), I can’t say that I fully understand your look tonight. The color is that of a gout ridden tuna, the shape is that of a sushi wrapped tuna, and your panty hose are reminiscent of someone wrapping tuna in seaweed at Hibachi Express. Sanitation grade: C+

Chrissy Teigen looks like she always has: bloated and wild. Her outfit looks like a cotton gin exploded next to a L’eggs factory.

Lupita Nyongo looks like the Toucan Tropicana Barbie and that is all.

Ruby Rose is channeling some ‘She Sells Sea Shells by the Jersey Shore’ shit.

Miranda Kerr looks like a walking, glossy, coral reef, made up by Bobbi Boring Brown, as usual.

Rami Malek went to the Ball as a Twizzler. Or was it a Red Vine? #redvinesfamily

Zendaya: Mac-OW.

Paris Jackson: I have never been so offended by someone. First of all, she has about as much of Michael Jackson’s DNA in her as I do. Secondly, she looks like she put as much effort into her appearance tonight as I did when I dialed Dominos earlier. Also- Express’s formal collection has never looked worse. Also, also, your tattoos rival the mess of ink on a backstreet water rat.

Madonna- I didn’t think I could be more offended by a poseur than Paris Jackson, but again, I’m proven wrong. Her gap-toothed, fake-British bullshit can’t be hidden by all the camo in the world, and certainly not by one hideous dress.

Zoe Kravitz- Big Little Lies made me love her and this outfit does nothing but add to my new obsession. I could do without the sleeve contusions, but I’m obsessed with the rest. Like the finale of BLL, she’s channeling Audrey Hepburn like a boss.

Kate Hudson- Yo ass has looked the same every damn year. This year is the same, just more boring and like you’re trying to channel a Kartrashian aka HIGHLY OFFENSIVE. But also- i love you.

Gwyneth Paltrow looks like she ate Chelsea Handler and borrowed Titus’s pumps.

Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen: Two canoodling Weimaraners.

Lily Rose Depp: I actually love this. All of it. I am ashamed.

Sarah Paulson: And the cockatoo cried ‘Nevermore.’

Cara Delevigne: The Tin Man and The Nanny Named Fran had a baby. And it was ugly.

Rita Ora: Wasn’t it nice of Russell Stover to cater the red carpet?

Maggie Gyllenhaal: If Dorothy Draper, the Jolly Green Giant and a footless grandpa had a baby.

Halle Berry: Barnacles never looked so good.

Reese Witherspoon: Alexis Carrington would be proud. But that ponytail… She’d snatch it off.

Amy Schumer: So you ate Tonya Harding and then stole some kid’s Scarlet Witch cosplay outfit from their Orlando double-wide and threw it over your hamhocks? You belong IN a trash bag, not wrapped in one.

Kim Kartrasashian: An OB tampon at a Renaissance Faire. That is all.

J. Lo- You’re channeling Jennifer North and I love that, but your horse hair ponytail is highly offensive. And I’m not sure I get the color. But I think you and A. Rod make a perfect couple.

Karlie Kloss- Your shiny face is offensive. Stop. Your shoes are on point like a mosquito’s knee. Stop. Your dress is half terrible/half almost there. Stop. Put on a damn necklace. Stop.  

Kerry Washington- Whitney Houston in The Bodyguard with a lisp. Also- your lace front is almost as off-putting as Johnny Travolta’s. OFFENSIVE ON ALL COUNTS.

Blake Lively- I don’t know how someone makes golden chain mail with a peacock’s ass attached to it so boring, but you’ve done it. Also- you’ve done the braid/ponytail to death and made me want to follow suit. Death’s, not the hairstyle’s…

Jessica Chastain- Queen EleaBore of Land O’ Lakes called, she says you look melted.

Hailey Baldwin- I don’t know how dressing like a slutty piece of salt water taffy turned state’s surprise witness in a dog collar makes you a top model, but best regards and kindest wishes.

Nicki Minaj looks like Chun Li’s evil twin going to prom in Cleveland, Ohio.

So, Elle Fanning The Chinless Wonder thought tonight’s gala was an audition to be another boring ass Disney princess?

Mandy Moore- I love you more than anything because you are Rapunzel but NO. You are not Anjelica Huston in Addams Family.

Salma Hayek- you are naturally STUNNING and tonight you look OFFENSIVE and like a character from one of my brother’s anime shows. And not in a good way.

Selena Gomez made my eyes roll out of my head, onto the floor, out the door, into the street, and under the tire of Rachel Leigh Cook’s Volkswagen Rabbit.

Emma Roberts looks like a Jennifer Garner drag queen auditioning for the role of Jessica Rabbit in a high school production of Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

Priyanka Chopra is literally just wearing a trench coat. #carmensandiegoworeitbetter #andwithahat

Kate Bosworth always looks like a creepy Victorian doll with alopecia.

Worst dressed: Daisy Ridley, hands down. She looks like someone sewed fabric from the bargain bin onto one of those built-in-bra pajama dresses from Target and threaded a wonky hula hoop into the bottom. Hideous hair. No jewelry? HIGHLY OFFENSIVE.

BYEEEEEEEE

[just-a-mess-i-guess]

guys im otto in the barbie rapuzel movie this is horriffying news 

[georgi-girl]

Mickey And The Beanstalk Recast

Original meme belongs to CaseySaisi97.

I love Fun and Fancy Free and I’ve been looking all over for a recast meme for it. Haven’t found one for the Bongo segment, but I’m still looking.

Junior and the Beanstalk: starring

Junior Asparagus as the curious adventurer

Bob the Tomato as the hungry skeptic

Larry the Cucumber as the lanky comedic relief

Rapunzel Barbie as the golden harp

Tamatoa as the greedy giant

NOT SHOWN:

Grandpa Max (Ben 10) as the storyteller

Double-Dee (Ed, Edd, & Eddy) as the birthday boy

Eddy (Ed, Edd, & Eddy) as the snarky critic

Ed (Ed, Edd, & Eddy) as the silly commentator

[divinereign4ever]

We need more genuine villains in animated (kids) movies bc while I'm all for emotional complexity and backstories sometimes I just want someone to be selfish, mean and fuck shit up

Barbie Villains Are Scarier Than I Thought

Barbie in the Nutcracker has the Mouse King, who’s voiced by Tim Curry and almost never played for laughs, attempting to chop the Nutcracker to pieces with an axe and then burn him alive in a fire.

Barbie as Rapunzel has Gothel, who kidnapped Rapunzel to start a war between two kingdoms that almost killed a little girl, is emotionally abusive to Rapunzel and her friends, is powerful enough to enslave dragons, and her magic makes her almost unstoppable and spends the majority of the final battle chasing everyone.

Barbie of Swan Lake has Rothbart, who’s out to kill Odette for a majority of the movie. After rendering the Magic Crystal powerless, Rothbart blasts Daniel and Odette with his magic, killing them both until their love revives them.

Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus: Wenlock is a G-rated sexual predator. He goes from kingdom to kingdom, forcing women to accept his hand in marriage or face awful consequences. He introduces himself by turning everyone in the kingdom to stone and giving Princess Annika three days to accept his proposal before the spell becomes permanent. Before the film began, he transformed Princess Brietta into the titular pegasus when her parents refused his proposal, and turned three women unlucky enough to actually marry him into mute, goblin-like slaves after getting bored with them. He nearly kills Brietta in front of her own sister, and buries Annika alive in an avalanche when she stands up for her family. 

Barbie in the 12 Dancing Princesses: Duchess Rowena is a master manipulator and comes the closest to winning out of nearly every Barbie villain. As she slowly poisons King Randolph to death, she plays the part of a loving relative to gain his trust and cut him off from his twelve daughters, until he willingly makes her his successor on his deathbed. In turn, she manipulates the 12 princesses, undermining their self-esteem and capabilities to help their father, to the point that they decide to leave the kingdom for their mother’s secret pavilion, believing Rowena’s lie that they are the cause of their father’s failing health. Before they can realize their mistake, she imprisons them in their place of refuge and steals some of its magic. Upon their escape, she uses the stolen magic to place a Fate Worse than Death curse on Princess Genevieve, compelling her to dance herself to death, which Genevieve only escapes by weaponizing the paper fan Rowena yelled at the girls about earlier. Rowena and her henchman Desmond may well still be trapped in the dance spell to this day. 

Barbie as the Island Princess has Queen Ariana. She plans to murder Antonio and his family, poisons the animals so they’ll starve to death in an endless sleep, only had a daughter to serve her own ends, bribes a guard to kill Ro and her friends by knocking them into the ocean, and gained her title through marrying and killing an elderly king with a heart condition.

And those are just the ones I’ve seen!