#bap himchan scnario

[coffee-for-himchan]

Warm On The Inside (Himchan) // “With You” series, pt.1

First part of the winter-themed 6 scenario series called “With You”. Featuring a thing I love and a thing I don’t love at all - coffee and snow. I doubt it’s hard to figure which one I hold a grudge against, even if not a too big one.

Summary: Snow was everywhere, which was about the worst there could be. With your body beyond frozen but your heart even colder, it wasn’t hard to hate everything around. Until you bumped - literally - into another, just like you. Someone a little frozen on the inside, but more than that - not keen on snow. Someone who just happened to make all around melt.

Part 1(Himchan) // Part 2 (Yongguk) // Part 3 (Jongup) // Part 4 (Daehyun) // Part 5 (Youngjae) // Part 6 (Junhong)

You'd always hated the snow.

It wasn't a burning disgust towards the white flakes that were twirling through the chilly, cool air, coating the earth in an innocent-looking, pure layer of hopefulness - it was rather mild disappointment at the fact your favorite time of year had passed, and all that was left now was to wait until the very last bits of winter wonderland would fade away and would reveal the ground underneath once again - maybe the feeling of being cold would fade with along with winter too.

Although this thing you felt in your chest was a whole other type of "cold". Not the cold you could feel when stepping out of the house in non-seasonal attire, and not the type of cold you could mend and cure with something as simple yet inviting as a heater or a fireplace.

"Feeling cold on the inside" - that's about how good you could describe it. Unwilling to open up. Frozen in your tracks when it came to getting to know people, because encounters had never resulted in anything good. Unable to crack a smile. Tired of every new day, even more tired of remembering all the ones that had already passed. Empty. Devastated. Drained of emotion.

Cold all over the soul, not bothering to actually pay attention to the physical cold until your flesh turned a light shade of pink, screaming bloody murder at every single touch of it and needing desperate attention in the form of anything that could possibly warm it up.

Simply unable to process. Needless to say, the winter didn't help.

It was supposed to be a pretty time - kids playing around outside, families gathering together for the festive days. Going gift shopping and picking the best presents for the people you loved the most, just to remind them once again with a subtle hint that you cared. Eating the best festive foods and drinking warm, seasonal beverages just because hey, why not, since it’s all here already? Sweaters and coffee as familiar melodies flooded all places, calling out for everyone to be joyful. Hopeful promises as laughs filling the air. A good time for almost everyone, yet you knew what the snow neatly coated and hid under itself, and couldn’t be fooled like the others.

It hid nothing but the plain, painful truth.

Everything under it was dead and drained, and it was just a cover up. The beautiful that hid the tragedy, the innocent mask on the face of the aching truth. The perfect hide-up for all the caused destruction. For all the wilting nature had to experience after the last wave of late autumn heat had gone with the wind, for all the dying of flowers and such as they encountered with the cold and simply froze, saying goodbyes to the sun for what seemed to be forever. For all the trees that rose like painfully sharp daggers up into the skies now, without showing any signs of being alive, and for all the creatures that could only manage to survive in the warmer months of the year, having died without a chance of survival.

You refused to be fooled by this cover-up. And refused to like it for reminding you of how frozen you were yourself, so you never even intended to pretend to like it, same as you refused to unnecessarily leave the house during this season. 

That is, until you met him.

He was just the same as you when it came to this aspect - you could hear him hissing lightly every time a snowflake hit the nape of his neck, gracefully falling past the collar of his fluffy coat, and you chuckled lightly as you saw his nose and ears turning a light shade of pink, signaling he needed to stop putting his body through the torture of being outside when the thermometer displayed a negative number on itself.

He was just like you, and for the first time in years you felt how truly melting someone’s presence could be.

He was far from being the grumpy person he sometimes seemed like - he was rather a little closed in. Being social and talkative was usually his forté, he had admitted to that at some point, but things weren't going all that good in life recently, and he simply wanted to take it easier. Realizing a lot of those people he had around every day didn't matter, as they never came back to him when he wasn't just out having fun, but was out having troubles. Figuring out he didn't need that many different faces to fill up his everyday life as they never really were of any significance, and would only eventually either forget him or cause him pain. He just needed a pause from everyone, or, well - almost everyone, as while taking it, he had more or less luckily stumbled into you. And something in his chest had told him that taking a pause from you was about the most wrong and absurd thing he could do.

He bumped into you. Literally.

Three times.

The first was at a zebra crossing in what seemed to be the very dusk of morning, since the sun rose so late at this point of year. Work was only a few blocks away from your house, and while everyone seemed to prepare for the holidays, you were planning on taking a few extra assignments. "While all of you get a round of soul-healing, I'll at least get a promotion," you thought, and scolded yourself for sounding harsh even in your thoughts, but only for a little. It wasn't far from being the truth anyways.

It was only a mere encounter, a little interaction, yet it turned out to be something that would occupy your mind for a little. The foggy atmosphere made it hard for you to see the traffic light, but as it turned green and you set your foot on the street, you slightly shoulder-bumped into someone while in the middle of the rather crowded crossing.

The stranger, being much taller and of a significantly more massive built than you were, turned his head while walking past, and you were a little disappointed to, despite all of that, not catch a proper glimpse of his face.

But his voice, low and with a little mixture of melodic and nasal, crawled in through your ear and made itself at home, lingering in your head for a little longer as you hadn’t heard another like that one yet.

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"It's.. Alright."

The second time was at a coffee shop. Lunch break had you on the edge of your nerves, as well as everything else that day. Too bad that unnecessary diet you'd gone on was still a thing, and since you craved something you couldn't quite eat, you got a little frustrated and simply opted in for coffee and nothing else instead.

It was another bump into you, this time around from behind, while standing in line to order a drink. And, once again, you heard it.

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"It's alright."

You turned to inspect his face, and all of a sudden felt your cheeks heating up. He was a little taken aback, just like you were, but the little smile on his face indicated he was glad coincidence had brought you together again. “He remembers,” you thought to yourself, a little puzzled on what was so memorable about your voice only that it had stayed to linger in his mind for longer. But then again, what was it about him that had stuck in your mind? You figured that maybe he’d thought about you too, the same way you’d thought about him for a bit earlier today.

But all other thoughts faded away as you looked at his features, and understood you'd never seen someone as genuinely pretty as him. It sure set a sense of uneasiness into you, as you felt a little insignificant and out of place here with him. Yet when the smile stayed plastered on his petite, doll-shaped lips, and a cute little dimple-like crease formed right under his eye, you felt like there was nothing to worry about. 

"Twice already today, am I right?"

"I suppose, yes."

"Not to bother you with my presence, but I'm simply rather on the clumsy side, and the universe must've chosen you as my next victim," he said, and you chuckled a little, covering your mouth with your hand as a reflex. He sure knew how to make himself seem interesting from the very first few words spoken.

"I don't mind," you replied, looking up at his face and feeling your heart fluttering a little, "After all, it doesn't bother me. Better bump into me that someone who might get offended by it. Or won't take it well."

"So I can keep doing this?"

"Sure," you chuckled a little, making him chuckle along. Gosh, even the way his whole body moved while laughing was so eye-catching, and you were a little taken aback by the lack of stares directed at him. He radiated such a sense of warmth and simple joy with his presence, and you felt yourself enjoying it.

"Would you like to order now, miss?"

The voice of the barista brought you back to reality, and you hoped she wouldn't think of you as annoying for talking while standing in line, not even noticing how it was your turn to order all of a sudden. Yet when you turned her face displayed none of that - it rather screamed "Yes, agreed. He's cute as hell. Do something about it or I might."

"Mocha, please," you shyly told her, seeing as her gaze wandered from you to him and she thought of what to say.

"And you?"

“Mocha as well, if that’s alright, please," you felt him leaning over, resting his frame on the arm that he'd extended to place his hand on the counter, just a little behind you. It occurred to you that the barista must've thought you two had come in here together, and that made you blush even more.

His presence was quite comfortable, yet burdening. Like a ray of sunshine he had managed to blind you with a mere look, and you felt a little stupid, a little happy because of it. And as your mind kept wandering this wasteland of what used to be feelings once, the barista had already approached with two coffees in hand.

"I'll get it," you heard him say, and wanted to insist, yet felt a little embarrassed to do so. There were people behind you two in the line, and the barista was still giving you a rather curious and interested yet nice and loving look. So he paid, and handed you a cup, offering you to go and sit down with him for a moment before he'd have to depart - apparently, work was quite demanding, and he shouldn't stay around at all. But he liked this place, and his new company, so he'd decided to gift himself with some fifteen free minutes to get into a little bit of trouble afterwards. He figured it could be worth it.

"You really shouldn't have," you told him, sitting down opposite of him and trying your best not to do any of the regular - to fall down, to say something wrong, snort while laughing, tell an inappropriate joke on the wrong time.. Basically, your aim was to make yourself seem normal.

"Let this be a "sorry" for all the bumping," he chuckled and took a sip, directing all of his attention on you as his head found a comfortable position to rest in on his hand.

Like a kitten, he was so cute when sitting across of you like that. Eyes slightly narrowed and lips a little puckered as he talked, filling the empty space between you two with a pleasant, nasally voice. His hands seemed rather large, and held the beverage in a funny fashion, making it seem so small when compared to how you held yours. Yet his love for coffee was the thing that amused you the most - so simply adorable, but most of all - so similar to you.

Fifteen minutes had gone with the wind way too soon, and he left you sitting alone to reflect of what had just happened. You watched his frame walking outside into the chilly street, and he turned, waving at you through the large windows lightly before disappearing within the masses of people. He was gone, yet the memory of him remained for a little longer as you recalled the last bits of conversation that had gone on just minutes ago.

"I never caught your name," you told, leaning in to rest your head on your arm. It was strange, how you immediately felt so comfortable beside him, even though you always felt rather tense around strangers. But he was a little different - a little friendly, a little clumsy and strange, but most of all - beyond eye-catching and interesting. And lovely.

"I'm Himchan," he simply told you with a smile, taking in your name just a second later the same way you took in his - with care not to forget. And as you recalled it all and realized, you cursed to yourself a little.

He'd left a name, but not a number. He was gone, and this time seemingly forever, as there was no way to reach him now.

Or so you thought, up until the third encounter - this one being a little accident on festival grounds.

Another bump, and another apology and response in the already familiar voices had caught your attentions, and you turned to him, feeling all fuzzy when you saw how his face lit up, as if he'd seen an old friend after years of being parted.

"(Y/N)!!"

And with that, you were suddenly enveloped in his arms. Getting hugs in general was rather pleasantly comfortable, but his embrace was something. As his body met with yours, his little laugh filling your left ear as he took a minute to feel your presence - it was all so new and unusual. Yet you could picture it happening again clearly. He'd sparked an interest.

"Oh god, I forgot to leave you my number today, I'm so sorry!" he swung your frames from side to side and babbled, making you chuckle as you felt your stomach filling up with butterflies, "So stupid of me, but I was in a hurry. I came back later, but you weren't there anymore, and I thought I wouldn't have the chance to meet you again-"

"You went back to look for me?"

Realization hit him like a rock then and there, and he froze, shyly disconnecting his frame from yours in a second. But the look on your face cleared at least half of his embarrassment and concerns, as he could see you were clearly all for this idea - you didn't mind at all.

"I mean.. I was passing by anyways, and thought I'd check.." he scratched the back of his head, blushing a little at your silent chuckle. He knew you didn't believe him in the least, yet he appreciated how you decided to play along, since it took the burdens off his shoulders, and simply let him have a good time, trying to hide up the fact he’d in fact ran back into that building half an hour later, panting lightly and making a few curious glances direct at him, none of those being the one he actually wanted to see.

"Now, since I'm pretty sure a fourth coincidence is quite unlikely to occur.. How about doing the thing about exchanging numbers?" he was still a little shy, yet your approving nod was enough for him to hand you his phone so you could type in the few digits that mattered the most to him back then - all of that happening before you agreed to disappear from the “festive wonderland” you’d gotten yourselves into, as apparently he was just as uncomfortable there as you were. Too much joy for your grumpy frames.

That's when it kicked off, and took on a rather fast approach, messing with your head all along the way. You'd never met someone who'd genuinely caught your eye this much, and since he had, it was a rather interesting experience. You met again for another coffee the next day, making the same barista throw you another interested look, and continued going out every other day you could. 

You found out he hated snow as much as you did, and even though quite some of your meetings were held indoors because of that issue of yours, you had to admit the weather outside was a little more bearable with him by your side. How the snowflakes tangled into his hair and made you want to ruffle it lightly, and how he never took gloves along, at some point making you shyly offer him to hold your hand for warmth purposes, which you did now always ever since the first time you’d offered and he’d done it without hesitation or doubt.

This was a friendship that evolved just in a few days and weeks, as you made sure to give it a good kick-start with long evening conversations over the phone or in a cafe, getting to know each other at an alarming rate. You simply felt so good beside him, and this happy atmosphere around you two made it a little special. To him as well.

Suddenly, you started slowly realizing what the whole holiday cheer was about. Realizing you'd always been more on the grumpy side simply because you were almost always alone, and slightly regretting your choice of taking up all those work assignments. Your favorite person had finally come along, and as you had someone to feel happy with but had no time, you felt a little jealous of the ones who did have tons of time. Hell, the extra work wouldn't even lead to all those promotions you were aiming for, so you decided to take it easy. It wouldn’t pay off, so you wouldn’t break your head over it. 

Every time you met he held you in his embrace a little tighter and a little longer. Texts turned out to be without stopping anywhere mid-day, becoming a constant thing that only died down while you were working or asleep. And as you started waking up to good morning texts, you started blushing every time it happened - he really acted rather like a boyfriend.

It took him only three bumps to get you to give him your number, and it took him only a little more than three weeks to make you give him something more.

In the timespan of three weeks, he had you completely head over heels fallen for him. Completely and utterly submerged in daydreams where his breath itched at your face as he told you how lucky he was to have such a coincidence happen to him during the time of year he disliked the most. How his hand caught your chin as you were about to turn away in embarrassment, and how instead he simply gave you one of his gorgeous smiles, softly pecking your lips and telling you he liked spending time with you so, so much.

As you dreamed about it, you couldn’t believe it would actually happen.

You had no clue it would happen when he picked you up that evening, smiling brightly and laughing a little as you playfully snuggled your face in the crook of his neck while giving him a welcoming hug. You were even more clueless about the further events while walking down the pretty, decorated streets. But you started getting aware at the end of the night, when everyone around seemed to be as happy as ever, but his smile shone a little brighter, indicating something you’d wanted to be true all along.

He was so damn attracted to you it physically hurt.

And it only showed more at the way his arm constantly wrapped around you while walking, his head constantly leaning in and whispering little things and nothings others shouldn’t know. Not because his words were special or anything - because it was a conversation meant to be held only between the two of you, and he wanted to keep it as personal as possible. It showed at the way you two shared all of the street food you’d gotten, and didn’t mind mixing up your beverages, just to be generous. It could be seen at how at ease and peaceful he felt as he watched all the different street performances and engaged into activities with you, simply being out of the house on Christmas eve with someone who’d came into his life more than simply recently, but someone who’d managed to dig out a place in his heart to fit themselves in, not even letting him oppose.

And as you turned to him at some point, having walked two steps in front of him as you tugged on his hand for him to come along prior to that, he felt like he wanted to let you know. So as he pulled your arm and made you chuckle, gently making your fame crash into his, he thought he’d risk it. Now or never.

“Himchan-ah, I-” instead of getting anything out properly, you felt his arms wrapping around your tightly, and you didn’t even have time to process before you felt his lips lightly covering yours.

It was a rather shy kiss - something that could maybe more appropriately be considered a peck, but you knew where his sudden shyness was coming from. If he was at least half as head over heels for you as you were for him, he had to feel anxious about this. Three weeks - was that enough to fall in love with someone? It had to be, or so he thought it felt like at least.

“I like you,” he told after another slow, soft peck of your lips, and patiently waited. His face stayed close, and his eyes remained shut as he let his lips curl into a smile and waited. Waited to hear the obvious.

“I-i.. I k-kinda like y-you too..”

And he didn’t need more or less - he simply let out a chuckle at your sudden anxiety, and mended it all with another brush against your lips - this one actually resembling a true kiss. He moved freely, and made you completely give in within seconds. His heart started beating a little faster as your hands reached for him, resting on his chest before one went to cup his face softly, and it got even faster as you kissed him back the way he wanted you to do it - showing exactly what all of this was about. Weirdly well-timed and strong-from-the-very-start attraction.

A lucky coincidence, and two people who had nothing to loose, yet a lot to gain if they tried it out. If they simply trusted the fact this could work, and could trust each other enough to let into the deepest corners of your hearts. Yes, that’s exactly who you were.

“It’s snowing, Himchan-ah,” you told him quietly afterwards, your faces still as close as ever and lazy smiles being thrown all over the place as you stared into each other’s eyes. He tried to concentrate on his surroundings, and found it to actually be true. Have you really been kissing for ages, or had it started snowing in a minute? He wasn’t sure, but he didn’t even care all that much about it, or so he’d figured.

“Does it matter?”

“Yes, of course it does!” you laughed, feeling him swinging your frames from side to side, “You hate snow, silly.”

Yet the look on his face showed he couldn’t possibly hate anything at that moment. He was completely filled up with affection - like a toy that was stuffed with it’s filling - and all his attention was directed at other things that resembled only good. He indeed felt snowflakes hitting the nape of his neck - his sensitive spot that he always complained about when snow fell on it - yet he didn’t have enough time to spare it even a single thought. In fact, it even felt pleasant.

“Who knows at this point? I feel like I could literally love everything right now, I’m all warm on the inside.”

You chuckled at his remark, yet understood clearly what he meant by that. You couldn’t help but admit it was inevitably the same to you.

Senses? Yeah, those had came back not too long ago, and same had happened with your interest to everything that was happening around. Tiredness became a second plan thing as you didn’t want to let it ruin your time with him, and same had happened to all the other negative emotions.

Unable to process? Not anymore.

And as you looked around a little, you couldn’t help but admire how beautiful the world seemed, coated in a layer of plain white. It hid all the broken and unpleasant, and kept it warm, so it could blossom the next spring and set beauty and life into all the surroundings. It was the symbol of hope and all that will eventually follow. It was a big, thick blanket, wrapping up all the broken and frozen things and letting them stay there until they could be fixed up again.

And looking at him, you realized everything was maybe better than you originally thought it was. You weren’t completely senseless - in fact, you felt all of your senses tingling after he’d kissed you, even the ones you’d forgotten about. And maybe you hadn’t even been that frozen on the inside all along... Or no, you have. He was simply much better at this than any heater or fireplace, setting a spark in you, and filling you up completely with all the needed - a sense of peace, affection, but most of all - warmth that only his presence could offer. A fuzzy and homey feeling that remained only when he was around.

He kept you warm, just like the snow did to all of the sleeping nature.

“And you made me all warm on the inside as well, surprisingly. Thank you,” you looked up at him gratefully and hopefully, knowing he returned the favor.

Knowing he’d unintentionally fallen in love as well.