#bald old and jobless | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thewul · 1 year ago

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"Well I never was the fur coat boyfriend, I guess I could make one after stitching together two dozen rats, big ones like they had around the docks, it wasn't even a matter of no money no honey, all I was is sugar coated by my good looks, while my suburbia home from the 70's had an overgrown front lawn, the lawnmower had died on me like many other utilities, and the backyard was as dry as my bank account, there was no there there aside from rugged practicality, the minute they realized it, that I wasn't even doing anything about it except getting a shave each morning they fled away, expecting a call that I never made because what for, I stood my grounds on the hill of carelessness, I was like those cheap bittersweet lemon flavored candy that run out of flavor in seconds, an Italian restaurant at the opposite end of the hall of fame, it was nearby and I knew the owner, an interior made of stuff that belonged pretty much in a dumpster, beaten sofa beaten anything, the Sony TV was still working right after the black and white ones, furniture that had its golden days 30 years ago, and heaps of travel magazines for the vacations feel, and vacations that never came, will never come, I could invite any television show you can think of and make it as the least eligible, but above all, I was on top of the game of no play, what do you do for a living I do copy and paste on spreadsheets make sure everyone else gets screwed by the company, and the faces oh the faces of discovering that my backyard jacuzzi was an inflatable kids pool, from Target where else, the target that was on my back, I might as well put in front and smile at the unsuspecting future ex girlfriends, it's not there was nothing there, there was something but I didn't know what it was myself, I still could count the jobless, the overweight and the bald as lower on the scale of nothingness, and I knew I could claim all of the distressed emotionally unstable ladies who had been in bad relationships because I was less of a bad relationship, an improvement nonetheless, every morning I got up and I shaved and it was the still old me, that didn't seem to age at all, out of being contrariwise to worrisome, and while it is true that I had somber traits at times, every now and then, I was doing alright even if, even if there was richer more successful people, and the grass was always greener, the grass you didn't have of course, there was one thing though I could put A and B together and someday I would have my lucky break, you always get one in life and I wasn't going to screw it come what may, laying low not laying flat, like a tiger or something, a snapping turtle"

#HUGO BOSS #sunset creek

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tributary · 2 years ago

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thinking about the bald guy i met at the dog park with the five-year-old weimeraner named ‘chubbawubba.’ (i should win an academy award and also an oscar for not recoiling at that). chubbawubba had big old balls; he was aggressively unneutered despite being a jobless dog. the guy wouldn’t tell me where he worked when i asked out of politeness but he did tell me that he dreamed of sneaking vodka into an art gallery apropos of nothing. i think he was a serial killer or else an alien

#i’m a different type of alien so we didn’t vibe #i’d steal a dog tbh #and rename him

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facepalming-since-chernobyl · 6 years ago

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Things from Supergirl s4 that make Slavs facepalm to death

We talk about fictional Earth 38, so of course there are differences and my Slavic ass should not get angry , right? The fact that they put a footage of castle from Budapest and called it Madrid...

(x)

...is totally ok, right? It’s not degenerating for Hungarians, because Americans don’t even know that something like “Hungary” exist, duh, and just sending Supergirl to Budapest to catch some thieves would be confusing for American viewers, huh Let’s just ignore a country that has 1000 years of history and place its capital city in Spain, because, maybe, Americans will get it’s in Europe. Also, hot damn! Busapest castle in American tv show?! Who cares they called it Madrid! American Senpai has noticed Hungary! BLESS!!!!!

Let’s move to Kaznia. Fucking Kaznia, that basically sounds and looks like early post-soviet Russia, but let’s pretend it’s an ex Republic of a Soviet Union or an autonomous state (even it if doesn’t make a lot of sense), and the name doesn’t sounds like something Russian. Yep, it’s a place where Russian is the first language and the name of the country doesn’t looks like something Russian (it looks like Polish “łaźnia” what is… bathouse. AMAZING!). But fuck it, doest it have Slavic roots? It has, so yay! 10 points for SG writers!

But, ok, ok, it’s not real Earth that’s why they put Kaznia:

in Irkutks oblast.

That is a federal subject of Russia. They literally just copied-pasted it. But it’s not Russia!

From this pic we can learn that:

a)Slavic countries are full of alcoholics

b)Slavs wear ushankas (the cap with long ears) inside buildings, cars, trains etc.

And let’s IGNORE they when you are a Slav and you hear “ushanka” you don’t see cute Kara’s clone wearing it, but rather something like this:

True story!

(And it’s not that this hat is associated with drunken dumb jobless people)

But I guess, there is nothing better to be clear we are in Russia I Mean Kaznia, than showing people holding bottles of vodka and wearing ushankas, FUR HATS and coats inside trains. In summer. Slavs love to sweat - it’s not that deep.

So we agreed that Slavs are at least weird and are too dumb to take off their clothes inside of the buildings, let’s move to the language.

Of course Kaznians need to talk in English with heavy Russian accents. Yes guys, that’s the fact. All Slavs talk with horrible, thick accents, there are ZERO Slavs that can talk without it. You can talk without it ONLY when you are a clone of an American alien. Because you know, Western people are superior (even their clones).

And let’s not talk about the overused communist symbolism :)

Remember all Slavs are corrupted. And fat, old generals are the most corrupted people you can find on Earth (all Earths). Also, they are always corrupted by western, white, privileged and very loaded white man, because again, Western people are superior. Also, all Slavs sell their babushkas when they see American dollars. A fact confirmed.

When we talk about corruption, pure, innocent girls can be easily manipulated and corrupted by bald, white guys:

Also, innocent girls, who have superpowers and can easily scan shit with their eyes, instead of searching for remains of a body, just cry and then fuck up destroyers because they are that easily manipulated and dumb. Like all people leaving in some weird, post soviet countries.

Btw, calling Kaznians “even crazier than Russians” is a lie. There is no crazier nation than Russians. They wear fur hats during summer, duh.

It’s a common truth that Slavs can afford big armies and weapon, but they are too poor to paint the walls.

Also, we don’t have cookies here. Seriously. We eat only onions, bread and potatoes. We will happily sell our babushkas for one oreo. True story.

Common Slavs? Live in hellholes, the mothers leave their kids alone, when they work and the kids DON’T go to schools. It’s a norm. Seriously.

We are all barbarian and we ride bears. Well, at least he does

PS. I don’t know what to say about Manchester Black

and the FLAG on his chest, but I guess another Cold War is coming?

#my shit #troll rants #anti sg #s4

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calleo-bricriu · 5 years ago

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Don’t ask why I keep subjecting myself to this, because I don’t have a good answer.

More of this awful book.

Skimmed the rest of chapter 13. Nothing terribly interesting, Mizpra being all excited for her mother possibly having a stroke when the train's altitude changes, talk about how weak and pitiful Burke is (and, for some reason, to keep him from "catching cold" she makes him strip and wrap up in two wool blankets which seems like it'd be incredibly itchy), Mizpra tries to hasten the whole "give mom a stroke" thing by getting her mother day drunk.

A lot of references to alcohol being a stimulant again which, no.

Burke shows a little concern for Mizpra keeping her mother drunk and outside on an observation platform all damn day, so she tells him to go back inside and stop bothering them.

Wasn't at all concerned that her mother's face was turning blue because that's a normal thing I guess, shakes her mother awake, and of course her mother has the sroke and now she's just, "Oh shi--wait a minute, I didn't consider what might happen if the stroke kills her!" Not the best planning, Mizpra.

So she starts drinking and talking at her possibly dying mother about how she's going to ruin Obera's life.

And, like every poorly written villain in fiction, she says something ridiculous to herself: "Hell hath no horror; Heaven hath no hope."

At this point, I'd agree with her, only just in regards to this book.

Chapter 14 and we're back to Leigh.

Rev. Bald, we find out, knows a lot about alcohol and doesn't like his collar or waistcoat.

Finds out in a letter from Mizpra that he'll get paid once she's got proof of her brother's life being in shambles again.

For the time, five thousand per year as long as Leigh is in prison isn't all that bad; he really needs to step his game up because so far all he's done is invite the guy to hang out once, got shut down by Obera, and left.

"[...] literally poured the liquor down his throat," yeah, that's how drinking works.

He goes off for a good eight or so pages about how it's no crime to be poor out of absolutely nowhere. I mean, he's not wrong but why is he talking about it to the walls of his library?

Oh look, Leigh came to visit under false pretenses and seems to suspect that's the case but decided not to worry his on vacation wife and did exactly what he told her he wouldn't: Hang out with Rev. Bald.

Because he's a genius, he suspects Rev. Bald is being paid off by Mizpra to fuck up their lives and also thinks he'd sell her out if he was ever discovered. At this point you know damn well Leigh is basically the author because there's no reason at all Leigh would even HAVE that suspicion unless he'd been reading along with the rest of us.

Anyway, he got lured out there under the pretense of seeing or looking at some case of a morphine addict who isn't actually there.

So, because Leigh is a genius and understands everything, including more than most of those who study theology, Rev Bald pretty much plays right into that and says vague, sort of wrong-ish things just so Leigh the Genius will be compelled to correct him at length to, you know, remind everyone that he's a genius and better that everyone at everything.

Because he's a genius and you're not.

And Leigh sits there picking apart religion which might have been interesting if he weren't just sort of repeating himself with more and more pretentious wording.

"Do you know of any religion that has really made man better?" is a perfectly reasonable rhetorical question, at least.

Ah, and Leigh is into Darwin.

But, hey, Rev. Bald tricked Leigh into going out with him. I mean, Leigh would probably just say he's playing along but, you know...

They end up going to a dodgy district where everyone still somehow remembers Leigh from his drinking days. Probably should have picked a different neighborhood, Rev. Bald. It's like you didn't even research your mark.

We find out Leigh doesn't want to go to the first bar because he legit spent an entire week there without bathing or eating or sleeping just drinking and, I have to be honest, if I'd done something like that and was sure the people there would remember me, I probably wouldn't want to go back there either.

They end up in a bar and Leigh is, so far, being good and not drinking and has decided that Rev. Bald was going to be HIS victim--not sure what kind of victim, probably just to out him as working for Mizpra.

Oh hey, it's not just a bar, it's a brothel! Or, as Leigh's narrative describes it, a "dark, opprobrious den of crime and shame." Turns out he doesn't like makeup either, especially red lipstick because, as we all know, only whores wear that.

And now he's remembering some murder scene in the same place because not only is he a doctor, author, scholar, philosopher, and Merlin knows what else, he's ALSO a detective I guess!

I have to admit the memory of one of the workers at the place punching an actual, been there long enough to be bloated corpse because when you do that it makes apparently amusing sounds for the crowd of other people there who also found this amusing was, in and of itself, so absurd it made me laugh.

I'm sure it was meant to be horrifying but you can't read something like, "Over the prostrate victim bent the diseased-eaten harridan. She was amusing her companions by punching the inflated tissues, laughing and shrieking at the crackling, whistling effect it produced, while the dank denizens of the place gave vent to their pleasure by libidinous expressions and Paphian oaths," and NOT laugh.

Also the author is trying to tell us that, when he went to pull the punchy prostitute away from the corpse, her wig came off and her brain was straight up exposed through her "rotting skull".

For a fucking doctor you'd think he'd know that there is no actual way she'd be alive so unless he hallucinated this zombie prostitute...

So he thinks he's being taken to see the morphine addict and, of course, it's just a prostitute. She might also be a morphine addict but not the one Rev. Bald was describing as near death.

"Various odors in the room seemed to run in strata, as each step brought visitors to a different zone of pungent, offensive odors."

What are they?

Cigarettes, beer, lobster somehow, butter, cheap perfume.

I've been in worse rooms.

So she apparently IS the morphine addict he was talking about earlier, not like Leigh believes it, and Rev. Bald is going to just go ahead and leave the good doctor alone with her.

Leigh's first, uh, method of examination is to lift her arm, stroke her armpit, then drop her and move closer to the light to...look at his fingers. What the hell?

She was cool with it the first time but when he did it again she kind of freaked out which is perfectly understandable.

So there was a guy hiding in the curtains that was meant to jump Leigh but, Leigh being Leigh and good at everything, noticed him first and gave him a one punch knock out because Leigh is just that awesome.

And somehow Leigh, Rev. Bald, the woman, and the unconscious man are all locked in this nasty little room, the woman is going to apparently beat the hell out of Bald and broke a bottle over his head then, satisfied with that, shouts over to Leigh to continue beating the hell out of Rev. Bald because he'd set up the other guy to jump him.

Probably not a good idea to take Leigh to a brothel where everyone knew him.

She keeps smacking Bald in the head with a glass bottle and finally Leigh stops her before, y'know, she kills him. His reasoning for that was that killing him would be inconvenient for everyone which is fair enough.

Short conversation of, "Well if either one of them is dead we're both screwed, let's clean up the blood and I'll go get a police officer or whatever."

He comes back and--she's tried to redo her makeup to get back to work but there's this line about her hiding her powder puff: "[...] which she quickly hid in the bosom of her waist"--I don't think I want to know where she put that powder puff but I really hope she washes it before using it on her face again.

The lady then starts lecturing the mostly not conscious guy on the floor of her room about how it's his fault she's a prostitute somehow; based on how she's talking about money, sounds like she's one of his girls.

And that's it for chapter 15.

Chapter 16 is some flashback from the brothel woman about how she met Leigh; of course, since he's a genius doctor he offered, for free, to give her "deformed and useless" child whatever operation it is he needed. It's never specified, just that the kid is "deformed".

Also a lot of references to "dirty Poles" because it's gross to have to listen to Polish in an emergency room I guess.

Anyway, he's like The Saint Doctor who gives free medical care to everyone because he's a genius (of course) and none of the other doctors understand him. Also, he was just paying for everyone's medical care out of pocket because at some point, through one of the time skips, he went from jobless drunk to highly esteemed and rich author, lecturer, doctor, and scholar.

Getting really tired of Leigh.

She gets jolted out of her daydream when the train stops.She asks the "kindly old Irishman" who was cleaning up the station if she could hang out, he figures she's sober, so he says she can and she goes back to daydreaming about Leigh.

Whatever was wrong with her "deformed" kid was fixed and he's apparently recovered and Leigh arranged for the kid to be basically put in a foster home at some farm because that was apparently legal at one point, to just--give other peoples kids to someone else with no oversight.

Her name is May, we find out two chapters fucking late.

And she was somehow the thing that got him to clean his act up because that's how addiction works.

Now she's not daydreaming anymore because the train is about to arrive.

Chapter 17 is more of the same of these two catching up and talking about Rev. Bald being kind of a dick.

Also, who talks like this? "In his presence the finer feelings of her sex were aroused, her self-respect was active; and he knew it."

REALLY tired of Leigh now.

Basically, between really awkward sort of flirting we find out what anyone reading figured out several chapters ago: Mizpra is a terrible planner when it comes to remotely murdering people and Rev. Bald is proof of that because he basically fucked it up the first night.

And now he's going to go introduce his prostitute friend to Mops.

I feel like that's something he should have discussed with Obera first?

Ah yes, back to "masculine voiced women" who are, of course, matrons at some kind of--I don't even know what at this point, and I don't really care but of course, the women the author wants to have us view as bad are always mascluline in some way and are occasionally also fat and clumsy.

Like he's got any room to talk. I've seen photographs.

Oh of course, a religious boarding house for children of prostitutes where the manly, fat, clumsy women routinely berate the children.

In fairness, places like that did exist until fairly recently so I'm okay with the author kind of dragging them.

Ah, yes, Obera, gone from child-like and saucy to, "[...] radiantly beautiful, and in that full activity of healthy womanhood, which only true love and motherhood can develop."

Anyway, she starts begging Leigh to just straight up murder Mizpra, has a crying fit, then falls asleep and he starts waxing poetic about how her tiny little woman brain can't fully understand the situation.

Of course, Obera doesn't want the prostitute to see Mops because she's a "horrid, bad woman".

And that's it for chapter 17.

#this is the worst #books #antique books #I mean at least de sade got straight to the point of boring people by seeing how edgy he could be #this has been 17 chapters of nothing

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kentuckwitch · 7 years ago

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African-Americans & Coal - a personal story passed on to me

When I was in college I worked at a gas station in Lexington, Ky. It was a "rough" part of town local-born classmates told me, but I learned quickly that "rough" was their way of saying it was a black and Hispanic part. It was apparent to me, then, that the urban centers of Kentucky that I had naively thought were more progressive were in fact just as prejudiced as anywhere else. My college, a private university I couldn’t have afforded without scholarships, was called locally “The Plantation,” because the students were mostly white and the staff working in the kitchens and buildings were almost uniformly black. I learned this from a friend of mine, a black girl who cleaned our dorm, when she and I would sit downstairs and have lunch together. I became aware quickly that I didn’t belong there in one way because of my class and because I was poor, but I learned from her that I fit in in another way - I was white and class aside, I was one of the privileged who went to the school and benefitted from all that entailed. The school was known locally for buying black families’ homes to grow its campus. The “rough” neighborhood my white friends warned me about included the campus, which was an affront to the poor families, mostly black, who lived around us and had to look everyday at the fancy school that ate up their neighborhood but didn’t in any way attempt to recruit them or their children as students. (I hear now that things have changed some, and more attempts are being made to make attendance easier for black students from Lexington, just as they had made attendance more feasible for poor kids like me from the coal counties before. It’s about time)

We had several regular customers at the gas station I became friendly with, and one was an older black man.

He asked me one day, after a few conversations we'd had, where I was from (probably because of my thick accent). I told him Pike County. He said, "Oh, I remember Pike County. That wasn't a nice place for people like me when I worked there in the '60s and '70s.” I knew what he meant - as much as I love my home state and my home county, it's still backwards in many ways regarding race and sex/gender. I know that the United States is a country built on racism, that it exists everywhere in this nation, but I don't shy away from the fact that the South, including Upper Appalachia, is an openly racist region in a way that other places hide, or cover in a gauze of political correctness.

I see things changing, having moved back home, and I'm so happy to see more diversity in my part of Pike County and especially in places like Pikeville, but that sickening undercurrent is still there, under the surface and sometimes open and bald-faced. Some years back (maybe 10?), I heard stories of black students who came on sports scholarships being harrassed at Pikeville College (it's now University of Pikeville), and I was ashamed and outraged. When I was in high school, there were whispers that my principal's father was in the upper ranks of the KKK. I'd never seen a KKK rally until I was a pre-teen and that was across the river in Virginia, where we went to church. I remember the rage my parents expressed that Sunday, as the church traffic had to maneuver around those men in those awful costumes. My mother had gone to KSU, which was predominantly black then, and that experience had shaped her beliefs about race and the prejudice she’d seen there and back home. My dad sat us down after church, I remember it clearly, and explained that we must never ever be like that, and that he was ashamed and sorry we’d seen it. I knew what we’d seen was deeply wrong, but I didn’t truly feel that rage and shame my parents had shown witnessing that rally until I walked as a white person among people of color and saw just what it meant to be white, class and poverty aside.

I felt that shame and anger strongly when the old black man who came to the station regularly told me how he and other African American men from Lexington and Louisville were bused in to Pike and surrounding counties to break mining strikes. All my life I’d heard old timers curse “scabs,” strike-breakers, but I never knew that many of those “scabs” were black men from central Kentucky. The old man, I wish I recalled his name but it’s been about 10-11 years now, told me how he and his fellow miners were harassed, threatened, sometimes beaten by those on strike. He told me he hoped things were different now, where I was from. I told him honestly that it was different but in many ways unfortunately the same. Growing up I didn’t fully recognize my white privilege, which is the luxury of white people, and there was almost no ethnic diversity where I lived or in my school. My sisters, however, had black classmates as I was attending college, and from their stories the ugly pall of open prejudice in the school and the community was plain and glaring, brought more to light now that there WERE black students and black residents.

I asked my papaw, who ran as a Democrat for constable and had been the vice-president of a coal union, what he knew about what the man had said. He said that many of the strike-breakers were black, and that as much as he hated to see strikes broken it was the company who was at fault, and he remembered clearly the things the old man had told me. He told me he hadn’t hated or blamed those men because he knew the companies were using them to break the strikes and turn worker against worker. He said those men worked for almost nothing, were treated “worse than mules,” and were sent home jobless when the strike was done. I’m sure it helped the companies that the black workers were met with racism as well, which no doubt amplified the antipathy of the white workers on strike.

We have to tell these stories, and when we talk about our pain as the poor and forgotten and exploited in Appalachia, we have to remember our complicity in imparting the same treatment to people of color. Appalachia is more diverse than people think, and in that fact lies another - the Appalachians of color who have lived and toiled and suffered alongside us as Appalachians have also suffered at our hands. Another story is there, one of worker against worker, one of corporations exploiting Appalachian insularity and racism to defeat organized labor, to have us pitted against our fellow workers because we don’t see them as people, as fellows, but as black. It happens all the time in this country, when a united front of the working and the poor could shake this system if we wanted, and could liberate us all economically.

Appalachian history should be more visible, should be better taught here, and should have at its forefront stories like that of the old man who talked to me so kindly and told me about the horrible things he faced from people from where I grew up, who looked like me. This is a part of my history and it shames me, but it’s my history as a white Appalachian all the same.

#racism #appalachia #white privilege #class warfare #classism #racism in appalachia #affrilachia #african americans in appalachia #coal mining #coal miners #black coal miners #personal stories #kentucky #eastern kentucky #working class #working class history

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uh-huhnadtoday-blog · 4 years ago

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feeling 16 again.

Hiiii I finally turned 25 and it had been for about more than a week now. I feel okay. I think I will be okay (?)

I had a haircut last week and I felt like the 16 year old me again. My last haircut was in 2018, and while I was upset to loose the locks, I think it’s time to start afresh. Though long, my hair was starting to feel dry, limp and with the stress I’ve been going through, the hair fall kept getting worse. I started experiencing balding at my crown and it really dampens my confidence every time I look in the mirror. I decided to get bangs to go with a layered cut above the chest. At least I have great hair now :)

Just about three weeks ago, I had a really hard time. My insomnia was at its peak and so were my thoughts on suicide. I was so stressed about not being able to fall asleep. Horrible scenes flashes by at every moment I closed my eyes. I started to experience shortness of breathe. I stayed up all night and cried myself to sleep only after sunrise. I was moody the entire day. I felt like leaving the world and I just couldn't act like I would usually do. I couldn't hold conversations with my family and every chance I had, I would take a nap. This carried on for almost an entire week. The last time I had a panic attack was in August. After I left my job, I didn’t experience it anymore till recently.

Somehow, things got better when I spent more time with my family. I spent more time outside of home. I talked more, I expressed my feelings, although I did not share my underlying concerns.

I am just glad I managed to get past those days.

I know I said I wanted to drag being 25 by it horns, but I'm just not sure anymore. I started blogging again so that I would remain positive, but I feel like it had only gone downhill from the first post.

As I am currently jobless, I kept thinking about what kind of job I should take up next. It had been 3 months, but I still came up with nothing. Every time I gather the courage to resume on the job search, I would be too nervous to send in my resume. I feel like my most recent job did a thing or two to me. It left a traumatic imprint on me. I can't get over it.

As my recent birthday passed, I couldn't help but to feel pathetic. Only my family members and one friend remembered my birthday. Even my ‘best friend’ forgot about it. I know I'm being petty and I should be grateful that a handful of people still cared and remembered. But this just got me thinking, what have I done so wrong? Am I an utterly horrible person that it feels like none of my friends stuck around. Its like I no longer have anyone to talk to. No one to hang out with. I was jobless for three months, but I only hung out with my family. It’s like all my friends disappeared. We’ve gone from being close friends to merely acquaintances. It feels like I need a new set of friends. I have thoughts on deleting all my socials. I feel like looking at others living a good life just dampens my current situation more. I feel pathetic AF.

I finally received the results of my third year of uni and I was glad that I did well. That’s one positive news after a long pathetic streak. yikes. However, I am stuck in third class honours. It really dampens my spirits. I have been working hard for the past three years to maintain B’s, but one D+ and suddenly all my hard work goes to the drain. I feel like I'm falling back into the black hole I recently climb out of. I don’t want to go through those days anymore.

20201218

#dear diary #badbirthdays #unisucks #jobless #insomnia #25

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dear--charlie · 8 years ago

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Dear Charlie,

I’m Flo, 17 and from Germany. Sry for my englisch. I’m texting you because I need someone to tell my stuff which pulls me down. I don’t know how else to tell. My best friend is very close to me and I love and trust her more than anyone else and I need her to stay the day but I can’t tell the deep shit… But I have to tell or it’s just killing me. Sry for this boring text. I hope may one people is interested in me.

Ok. Everything went bad when I was 1 year. My mom just left my dad. She had nothing. We moved into a shitty house. There she met her new husband. He’s an asshole and so a disgusting perve. They were jobless. Than one day it really went bad. My stepdad (I call him: Fickfehler = Someone which born was a failure.) abused me. I was fucking 6 years old. He did it for a long time till my mother trust me to take a bath alone. I was 8 or like that. I had to shut up. We went to McDonald’s or ToyRus so often. But why mom didn’t listen? She was drunk like she always was. All the day. She hadn’t better things to do. I’m supriesed that everything was clean and we had food. So I gain weight. Evryone in school hate me. I was wierd. I felt how they hate me. Noone talked to me. They hit me. Just for Fun. They called me embrassing names. I hated school. I hated every single day. At the secondary school I was so numb I stoped care about all the insults. I stoped care about everything. I just sat at home and had to hear my mom drinking. They had bad arguments. I was so afraid sometimes. He knocked on my door. He shout to my sister. He shout to me. I wanted to kill him but my mom was so happy. And I love her so fucking much that I just beared it. Once he throwed an ashtray made of glas. He hit me on my knee. Televison wasn’t a good escape anymore. I wanted to take drugs. There I was 11. As I was 12 I started smoking. 10 cigaretts an day. Some days later a clasemate screamed it in class as she saw my cigaretts in my pencilcase. I took them from my mother. Goldfield. A very cheap brand. Yea, the teacher talked to me… and I told him what my stepdad did. I don'g know why I told him but I had to. At the same day I went to a children’s home. I just went to school and than I sat at my room and did nothing special. Playing some XBox360 or Nintendo. The children’s home closed two months later. I went to another. They I met my first big love. He was a boy. I was so confused because of what my stepdad did. I’m still in beeing gay. I don’t fucking know why I love boys. But I don’t like having sex whit a boy or even a girl. It’s ok for me don’t have sex. Ok I never had sex with love. It was always a fuck thing. Friendship +. After a month I went into the psychiatry. My head fucked up quickly. I started cuting my arms an legs. Not deep, but it was the beginning of something very worse. From the psychiatry I was send to a new children’s home. A new city. New people which don’t like me. No one ever liked me. I don’t even liked myself. I started hating people. At the new children’s home I really fucked up. My brain gone crazy abd sad abd idk how to explaine. I started feeling empty inside. Then the persons from the children’s home desided I have to go to a familie in spain. Short: They hit me, they fucked me, made me feel even worse. There I tried lighter gas to get high. Had 3 suicide trys. If they hadn’t noticed it I weren’t here today. I beared it 2 and a half years ther till I freacked out an destroyed there house. Then evry thing went good. My mom still is in love with her husband but he can’t walk anymore #karma. At the moment I really want to kill myself. My legs are to short, I’m fat, I’m starting getting a bald heard. The past is still haunting me and I’m just down. I’m working in an House for old persons. Its ok. Its a level I can handel with but I’m still feeling bad and I’m alone. I wasn’t called beautyfull anytime… Noone will love me and I’m tired of live.

May you read all but I didn’t expect it. It’s boring i know and may i’m a bit to tragial but I’m not feeling good.

Sry for my grammar and if I got some failure.

And how are you?

I don’t know how to end a letter or a email im englisch sry.

Flo

#dear charlie #flo

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la-alert · 8 years ago

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THOUGHT IT WAS A DROUGHT..

Us? Not having any tea to SPILL? You’ve got it all wrong. We are the best gossip blog in L.A. We ALWAYS have tea! We will ALWAYS have the tea. Read it and weep, children. Ya’ll stay hydrated.

XOXO, L.A ALERT.

Who remembers those suicidal heartbroken tweets Roxanne was posting about a mystery man? We now know who it was all about, Quadir! You ever meet a man who fucked you over soooo bad that you said fuck love and ran off to raise a single dad’s family for some consistent dick? ME EITHER. She was tweeting about Quadir last week and begging Janaria to stop trying to ruin their relationship.. (GIRL, don’t nobody wanna be single and lonely like you!) She’s one of those people you’ve gotta say, “I know we’re best friends but, DAMN.” to. This week she posted Michael W. for MCE AND was seen making his kids breakfast. Has Janaria been teaching her the tricks about moving up so fast? Let us know ASAP! Have fun, Michael! Tell us about the Brujeria and Chill sessions!

Let’s talk about Ezekiel now. The pregnant woman abuser who redeemed himself as daddy of the year! The other night, mother Luna shut him the hell down about taking baby Arielle to Melody’s, he went CRAZY..and I mean, crazy. He ran ALL the way to his car with the baby in his arms and sped off to Melody’s! He ran quicker than the examiner did when she got a hold of their DNA test results! (Thanks to Maury Povich, we know who the father is!) Anyways, who invites a baby over to a party full of drunk people? Melody does. And they weren’t sipping no grape juice for communion! During the party Melody’s tongue went down Michael’s throat in Jesus’s name. Even the congregation started crying when they saw it! (Baby Arielle). We’re saddened to say we expected a little more from Melody. Jesus and Therapy?

Janaria had a good time at the beach with Terrell, and he probably thinks she’s changing her life around to become a stepmom. Let’s begin, shall we? She started with a lie to Terrell about a Hickey she got from Muhammed. Said it was from Savior and Lord knows he isn’t checking for her ass, according to Twitter. (Is you car fixed, daddy?) Muhammed came looking for his watch in the middle of Terrell and Janaria hanging out and Janaria lied again after Terrell asked if he slept over in her bed. She said she slept in Amir’s room. The same Amir who moved out and got his own house on the hills! Dear Terrell, aren’t you top flight security at the one and only Ace of Diamonds?! You protect a bunch of SKRIPPAS all day and you can’t see that this one is LYING to you? We’re taking your flashlight away. Goodbye!

Let’s talk about some mess on the TL!

It was early Sunday morning and all we could hear was the birds, COCKADOODLEDOING! We don’t know what started it but Brilliant started shading her favorite cousin Mya up and down the TL! Gang, gang, Janaria and Roxy weren’t having it. It got so crazy that we had to take down our lace fronts! According to Janaria, they’re bad for the edges. (Thanks girl!) Our edges were snatched some more when Brilliant said she was going to send her goons for Roxy! Look! We can NOT have two convicts fighting under our watch! The Twitter scuffle didn’t end in any trips to the park, which is a good thing! We even got some airtime from Luna and Cassidy! Cassidy girl, if you’re looking for a job, ask Janaria for the hook up! Get on over there and help them sell them car parts to pay for Muhammad’s $10,000 chain! And you’re probably wondering where he got the chain from? O'Neal’s Jewelers! You know he had to run and apologize after trying Mr. Oneal’s wife. They were about to be on some PAPOOSEXREMYMA gangsta rap time. #BLACKLOVE #MEETTHEMACKIES. (And Zyair, why are you charging 10,000 for that little behind chain?! We watch The Price is Right and you ain’t slick!)

We peeped something else that you all may have not and we are HERE for it! Savior and Bellamy sitting in a tree, K-I-S-y'all we’re just playing! GOTCHA! But we did see that he welcomed her back with open arms and is trying to get her over Not-So-Bald Bae and potentially under him. He was even commenting gorgeous and heart eyes under all of her pictures! Hm? Could we be onto something?

Not-So-Bald Bae is doing alright for himself, by the way! If he isn’t in AOD, spending his mortgage on the SKRIPPAS, he’s seen with Melody or Aliana, another jobless friend of ours. No worries, Lonzo is going to take care of you now! We love us some Alonzo! He’s the sweetest and most underrated guy in L.A! Our man, told Bellamy off and he free’d himself! If Aliana doesn’t snatch him, we will.

After Hakeem, Nnamdi, Cain, Breonna..and whoever else. (Poor Adonis, we know he’s confused!) Little Miss Ava has finally settled down and married Aiden. CONGRATULATIONS! Give that MEOW a rest! And we know exactly what you’re thinking. She’s even faster at moving on up than Janaria and Roxanne. Was Gloria leaving L.A. the reason he married Ava? Maybe so. But it looks like Gloria’s back in town. How is Ava handling the new girl, Sevyn who BOLDLY tweeted Aiden (her newly husband) to text her? How will she handle Gloria coming back to swoop Aiden off his feet again?

Cain..Cain..Cain. He’s the MOST popular man in L.A. He’s had his share of Luna, Arian, Ava, Emory, (there’s more!) Bellamy, Quinn AND now he’s with Mya and he’s happier than ever! He’s always happier than ever! We give it until April 8th, and they’ll be done. Like DAMN, Cain! We wouldn’t be surprised if we caught you in bed with our MOTHER. He just so happens to fall in love fast! We will say he might have to watch out for Mya..who knows what she’s capable of. I mean she took her best friend’s, ex-boyfriend. Now that’s some tea for another day. Sip. Sip. We have one request through, Amir, we hear you’re giving out free pap-spears and vaccinations? Could you give us a call???? We have a few people to refer you, per Cain.

Lazuli! How were you a virgin last week, but now you’re not? You got some 'splaining to do! Terrell, maybe? No. We KNOW it was Terrell. You got us SHOOK with that one. Mya isn’t the only out here stealing boyfriends. Caroline and Lazuli (they’re roommates!) messed with the same guy. According to Lazuli, Caroline liked Marc but said she’d stop talking to him for Lazuli who had no intentions on being with him anyway. Speaking of SHOOK, from a scale of 1-10 how shook was Aniyah after being left out in the cold by her husband? The same husband who fucked her best friend, Arian? Aniyah went from messing with an eighteen year old, Pharaoh to getting married within a week. She’s even faster than Cain. Let’s hope those KFC chicken drumstick legs can take her on over to find a new man. Oh, wait! She’s been messing with Alonzo and is now best friends with Mya. Mya can’t be any lower of an ex-friend to Bellamy than she already is. We truly feel sorry!

Congratulations Houston! We like Ace of Diamonds, keep the drama rolling in! We absolutely love it. You might’ve kicked Main Event to the curb for being the most drama filled club in L.A. Aliana and Quinn (the manager) argued over Aliana (the bartender) sneaking drinks. In what world does a bartender not have the availability to drink? Houston’s keeping things LOCKED down and we aren’t making a pun with his last name either! Speaking of locked down, Quinn was boo’d up with Hendrix on the clock. (Our possessive bae). Aliana wasn’t afraid to snitch about that to Houston either. After he got them both to his office, Aliana stormed out, so we can only assume what had happened in there. (4Play’s hiring, girl!). We peeped Michael S. getting an hour lapdance from Chanel. Jesus and Therapy did its job because Melody didn’t go off on him like we would’ve! She continued having a good ‘ol time with her girls. Same with Bellamy. You can tell she was trying a little TOO hard to make Alonzo jealous, but it worked! After seeing Bellamy dancing with Mekhi, Alonzo LEFT the club and went home. The night had gotten even better once Elias stepped onto the scene. (He might be our new old bae). He had gotten comfortable with Zeno at the bar. We think they’d make a cute couple. Both sophisticated, educated, financially stable and what not. Go them! Quinn and Hendrix have been going..steady. Hendrix keeps her in check when it comes to commenting under tweets. He almost went off after he saw Quinn under Chevy’s tweet, and we ain’t talking about a big bodied Silverado. Houston! Did Quinn fail to mention that she’s WORKING with the Main Event owner for her newest project? Some manager!

#L.A. alerts

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noahhernandez · 4 years ago

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I’m OLD and bored 8/7/2020

1.Is there a boy/girl in your life? No! 2:Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them? If it is Pajak then no i do not <3 3:What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?” A cat, and oddly enough Cardi B 4:What’s something you really want right now? A stable job that I like :) 5:Are you afraid of falling in love? No, but I don’t want to. Relationships are soul sucking and not in the fun way. 6:Do you like the beach? No i do not like the beach one bit. Well, I like being in a beach house but I don’t like getting in the water. 7:Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else? Yes I have 8:What’s the background on your cell? It is the scene in Hereditary where he husband is on fire 9:Name the last four beds you were sat on? Mine, Emily’s, Bri’s, lol I don’t really know um ? Probably like my aunts when I lived with her 10:Do you like your phone? Yes it work 11:Honestly, are things going the way you planned? NO! I wanted to have a fun summer and look for another job and think about studying for Grad School and etc etc but I was JOBLESS for FOUR months and bc of COVID we cant do a DAMn thing 12:Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts? I have absolutely no idea probably like.. ? I don’t know lol 13:Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler? Rottweiler 14:Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? Emotional pain, lol it’s funny bc my last answer said physical I have grown up so much 15:Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? Art Museum 16:Are you tired? Physically yes lol 17:How long have you known your 1st phone contact? For 16 years because it’s my little sister 18:Are they a relative? omg yes 19:Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? NO ! well maybe 1. 20:When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with? I have no idea bitch ! 21:If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? no 22:Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? no 23:How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? 3 24:Is there a certain quote you live by? no! 25:What’s on your mind? literally nothing its kind of nice like not thinking 26:Do you have any tattoos? Yes, I have a sleeve so a total of like 9 tattoos i think idk 27:What is your favorite color? black 28:Next time you will kiss someone on the lips? Hell if I know 29:Who are you texting? Nobody bc Emily and Janett are at work and Bri (F.) is simply not texting me 30:Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch? yes 31:Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? Yeah of course its called i know things bitch 32:Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? Ya of course i can tell michelle faith bri emily and janett everything 33:Do you think anyone has feelings for you? u know probably not 34:Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? my eyes are dark brown lol so no 35:Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you? i dont care 36:Were you single on Valentines Day? yes ! 37:Are you friends with the last person you kissed? I honestly dont know the last person I kissed like i dont know if it was michelle or not lmao 38:What do your friends call you? Noah 39:Has anyone upset you in the last week? No ! 40:Have you ever cried over a text? Probably ! Yes when I was told “sorry noah i cheated on you last night” like who TEXTS that LMFAO anyways I cried 41:Where’s your last bruise located? hand from work 42:What is it from? oh from work 43:Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad? Bitch i want to die 44:Who was the last person you were on the phone with? leann 45:Do you have a favourite pair of shoes? my dr. martens theyre like 2 inch platforms lmao 46:Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day? No lol 47:Would you ever go bald if it was the style? no omg 48:Do you make supper for your family? ew hell no i live ALONE 49:Does your bedroom have a door? omg yes 50:Top 3 web-pages? Facebook, Twitter, Youtube 51:Do you know anyone who hates shopping? Um, no all my friends shop about an average amount 52:Does anything on your body hurt? My back and my feet!! 53:Are goodbyes hard for you? They were sometimes. Sometimes it do be sucking when u say goodbye but didnt know it was the last :( 54:What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? I had the sudden memory of last summer when I fell down the stairs at work and spilled coffee all over myself and had to change 55:How is your hair? Short and not combed at the slightest 56:What do you usually do first in the morning? Pee! !! 57:Do you think two people can last forever? nope! 58:Think back to January 2007, were you single? I was 10 59:Green or purple grapes? Green 60:When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug? um honestly i have no idea lmao we arent allowed to hug each other in these tough times! 61:Do you wish you were somewhere else right now? no ! 62:When will be the next time you text someone? I am texting Angel rn actually 63:Where will you be 5 hours from now? Asleep 64:What were you doing at 8 this morning. dead ass asleep 65:This time last year, can you remember who you liked? Nope ! 66:Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? this is gay yes all my friends but only because they are funny not because I enjoy seeing them 67:Did you kiss or hug anyone today? I did not hug anyone or kiss anyone today!! ! 68:What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? i literally was struggling so hard to go to sleep last night so I was probably really frustrated 69:Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? yes on taking exams normally except my last like ... 2 years of college were phenomenal 70:How many windows are open on your computer? 4- amazon, youtube, CBS and this 71:How many fingers do you have? 10 72:What is your ringtone? like the original one 73:How old will you be in 5 months? 24 LOL 74:Where is your Mum right now? Honestly I have no fucking idea lmao 75:Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love? because they cheated on me, they were very toxic and manipulative and uncaring and i dealt with it for a long ass time and it literally going to kill me if I kept it up. Dealt with bad anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, I wasn’t eating, and I had to start taking medication and see therapy because of it literally it was the worst shit ever 76:Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? No 77:Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago? Let me think of some- yes. Faith, Peter, Michelle, Bri, Emily, Janett, Angel, Anissa, I’ll still consider Keyla my friend too hehe . 78:Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7? some guy named Chris 79:Is there anyone you know with the name Mike? No 80:Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms? yes and I hated it

81:How many people have you liked in the past three months? 0 82:Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days? no lol 83:Will you talk to the person you like tonight? no! 84:You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? Definitely MICHELLE and PETER. I would ask Bri and Emily to please not let me get that drunk 85:If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care? yes 86:What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie? I literally work at a movie theater an nothing cool happens like the last almost 6 years of working there have been boring 87:Who was your last received call from? Leann asking me where my nametag was at in my car 88:If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you? um yes 89:What is something you wish you had more of? money !! $$$ 90:Have you ever trusted someone too much? ya it was some dumb ass shit ! 91:Do you sleep with your window open? hell no i live in southeast houston is too fucking humid and hot for that shit i will get mold 92:Do you get along with girls? yeah lmao 93:Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? i dont even know i dont think so 94:Does sex mean love? hell no! 95:You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? nope! 96:Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring? ew no those are trashy 97:Did you sleep alone this week? yes lol :( 98:Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you? my friends what kind of dumb ass question is this 99:Do you believe in love at first sight? no ! 100:Who was the last person that you pinky promise? nobody ! if anything I smokey sweared with Michelle like 23 years ago

#personal

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ladystylestores · 5 years ago

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An Election Day Success – The New York Times

Want to get The Morning by email? Here’s the sign-up.

Good morning. The U.S. sets another daily virus record. American Airlines will begin filling its planes. And Colorado offers a model for voting smoothly in a pandemic.

Voters didn’t have to wait in long lines. Turnout was high. And results were available shortly after the polls closed.

Sounds almost too good to be true, doesn’t it?

It’s not. It is a description of yesterday’s primaries in Colorado.

The state avoided the miserable lines that voters in Georgia and Wisconsin recently endured — lines that are a waste of time and, even worse, a health risk during a pandemic.

And unlike in Kentucky and New York, Colorado didn’t take a week or more to count its ballots. It began counting before Election Day. After polls closed, at 7 p.m., people quickly knew that John Hickenlooper had won the Democratic nomination in a closely watched Senate race.

Colorado accomplished all of this thanks to a universal system of voting by mail, which began in 2014. The state sends a ballot to every registered voter weeks before Election Day. Voters can return the ballot by mail, so long as it arrives by Election Day, or can drop it off at any one of dozens of voting centers.

People can also vote in person, but fewer than 6 percent of voters do so in a typical election, said Amber McReynolds, the former head of elections in Denver, who now runs Vote at Home, an advocacy group. The atmosphere at Denver polling places yesterday, she told me, was “calm as can be.”

Hawaii, Oregon, Utah and Washington also created universal vote-by-mail systems before the pandemic struck. In all these states, turnout has increased, with no net benefit for either party. Many other states are trying to expand mail voting this year, although often without universal mailing of ballots or as many drop-off locations as Colorado has.

In other political news:

Amy McGrath, a well-funded former Marine fighter pilot, defeated Charles Booker, a progressive state lawmaker, in Kentucky’s Democratic Senate primary. She will face Mitch McConnell in November.

Oklahoma voters approved expanding Medicaid coverage to at least 200,000 lower-income adults, effectively overruling Republican lawmakers who have opposed the move.

Lauren Boebert, a gun-rights activist who has flouted pandemic restrictions and praised the pro-Trump QAnon conspiracy theory, unseated fellow Republican Representative Scott Tipton in a Colorado primary.

They support vote by mail, federal action on the pandemic, extended jobless benefits and the George Floyd protests. Meet the 6 percent of Trump voters from 2016 swing states who said there was “not really any chance” they would support him again.

FOUR MORE BIG STORIES

1. A mushrooming outbreak

The United States announced more than 48,000 new coronavirus infections yesterday, another daily record and an increase of 80 percent in the past two weeks. Dr. Anthony Fauci, the nation’s top infectious disease expert, warned the Senate that the number could soon reach 100,000 a day if the country does not act quickly.

In other virus developments:

European countries began allowing visitors from outside the E.U. today, but excluded most Americans because of the U.S. outbreak. Here’s a guide for travelers.

Joe Biden accused President Trump of having “surrendered” to the virus. Biden said that, if elected, he would give Fauci an “uncensored platform to speak directly to the American people — whether delivering good news or bad.”

2. A divide among airlines

American Airlines will begin filling its planes to capacity again today, joining United Airlines, which was already doing so. The other two largest U.S. carriers — Delta and Southwest — have committed to keeping some seats empty through September.

It’s still not clear how easily the coronavirus spreads on airplanes: They have better air circulation than typical indoor spaces, but people can be packed tightly. For that reason, some epidemiologists are worried that American and United are prioritizing profits over safety.

“From an economic standpoint, it makes perfect sense,” Janet Baseman of the University of Washington School of Public Health told me by email. “From a public health standpoint, it is problematic because there is no hope of physical distancing.” She added: “If I were to hop on a plane (which I will not be anytime soon unless it is absolutely necessary), I would choose a carrier that would allow more space.”

3. Russia’s growing aggression

The list of recent Russian aggressions is reminiscent of the Cold War, David Sanger and Eric Schmitt write. In addition to the bounty program on U.S. soliders in Afghanistan, there have been cyberattacks on Americans working from home and Russian jets flying off the coast of Alaska to test air defenses.

A family’s perspective: “If it does come out as true, obviously the heartache would be terrible,” said the father of a Marine who was killed last year in an attack that may be related to the bounties.

For more: On today’s episode of “The Daily,” one of the reporters who broke the news of the program discusses what we know now. In Opinion, Susan Rice, the former national security adviser, asks, “Why does Trump put Russia first?”

4. A chilling effect in Hong Kong

China’s crackdown on Hong Kong has already begun to have an effect, with several major pro-democracy groups disbanding on the same day that Beijing passed a new security law. “Hong Kong people understand this means the end of the ‘one country, two systems’ model for the territory, and we are now reduced to being a city like on the mainland, like Shenzhen or Shanghai,” Joseph Cheng, a political scientist, told The Times.

The next step? People in Taiwan fear that China’s move against Hong Kong does not bode well for them, The Times reports from Taipei. “There is a high possibility of conflict,” a worried Taiwanese lawmaker said.

Here’s what else is happening

IDEA OF THE DAY: Black and white

The Times will not be capitalizing the word “white.” As Dean and Phil explained: “There is less of a sense that ‘white’ describes a shared culture and history. Moreover, hate groups and white supremacists have long favored the uppercase style, which in itself is reason to avoid it.”

In The Atlantic, the philosopher Kwame Anthony Appiah has argued for capitalizing both “Black” and “white.” Neither is a literal description of skin color, he writes, and neither is a “fully formed and stable social category.” Both encompass a varied group of cultures.

Citing the work of Sally Haslanger, a fellow philosopher, Appiah concludes: “Racial identities were not discovered but created, she’s reminding us, and we must all take responsibility for them. Don’t let them disguise themselves as common nouns and adjectives. Call them out by their names.”

More on race: The Pulitzer Prize-winning writer Isabel Wilkerson compares American racism to the Indian caste system in a new article for The Times Magazine. “Their hierarchies are profoundly different. And yet, as if operating from the same instruction manual translated to fit their distinctive cultures, both countries adopted similar methods of maintaining rigid lines of demarcation and protocols,” she writes.

PLAY, WATCH, EAT, GRILL

It’s grilling season

With the long weekend approaching, you may be itching to bust out the grill. Melissa Clark’s recipe for chicken thighs — coated in a balsamic vinegar glaze and spiked with ginger — is the perfect solution. The charred peaches glazed with honey butter work just as well as a dessert as they do a side dish.

Down to Gorky Park

If you’re of a certain age — say, between 40 and 60 — you may need to hear only a few bars of the whistling at the beginning of the song to recognize it: “Wind of Change,” a 1990 hit by the German heavy-metal band Scorpions. It turned into an anthem for Eastern Europeans welcoming the end of the Soviet Empire.

The journalist Patrick Radden Keefe has long been obsessed with a rumor that the C.I.A. wrote the song, and he chases it down in an eight-episode podcast. The full podcast is now available, and I recommend it. It’s full of entertaining mini-histories of spying, diplomacy and pop music. “On the one hand, this is an investigative story about Cold War espionage, but on the other hand, it’s about these ’80s hair-metal guys who are inescapably absurd,” Keefe told my colleague Hilary Moss.

Return of the Kentucky elk

In 1997, on the grassy slope of a reclaimed mine, an elk stepped onto Kentucky soil for the first time in more than 150 years. Though the area was once full of wildlife, land development and hunting eliminated many buffalo, river otters, bald eagles and elk.

Read about how the state rebuilt its elk population, using old coal mines.

Diversions

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theoriginalivyannazimuth · 5 years ago

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Because Reddit is having issues this is my submission to Malicious Compliance. Mostly so I can copy paste it later

Hello reddit, today I will tell you a tale of romance, betrayal, and smipublic streeking.

(WARNING THERE IS A LOT OF BACKSTORY FOR THIS SO ITS A LONG POST)

I don't go here much as I usually watch RSLASH and /Start and tend to prefer to lurk rather than post (unless its to promote my youtube) but I thought you may like to hear this, so here I go.

I don't usually put my real name online but some people may know me as LadyAzimuth (hi guys!)

I am 23 and my mother and I have always had a rocky relationship; by which I mean that she was mentally abusive to me and physically to my older sister back in the day. Now not to be rude but my mother has always had some mental problems which is why I ignored a good amount of the BS she did.

When I was young and spending the weekend at my father's i spilled some fries witch ketchup however and immediately began sobbing and apologizing for making a mess and going into full panic attack mode. My father calmed me down and asked me some questions which made me come to the realization that I was being pretty heavily abused by my mother.

Couple that with the many MANY years of physical abuse (I was bi in the late 90s and early 2000s and it wasnt legal to marry where I am until 05 so I got my ass kicked alot) and that made the perfect cocktail of dependence and silence.

My mother would constantly tell me I was being dramatic when I was heavily suicidal, dumb when it turns out i am dyslexic, and a cry baby when I would have anxiety attacks. Of course that all stopped when she got diagnosed for almost everything I have.

This may seem like useless information but I need you to understand why I act the way I am in this situation.

Now I have always been obedient. When her mother died i was in my teens and ended up having to raise my 2 younger siblings while my mom and stepfather were in a different city (will be referred to as L henceforth for privacy )

I ended up doing worse in school (I was already having issues because COULDN'T READ) and having to give up doing karate which was the closest thing to therapy I had. I had gotten a few awards for rising through the ranks quicker than others and my teacher thought I could have been a teacher in a few years time if I had continued the way that I was.

Now note, I never asked for a thank you. I believe that you should do your best to help other when they need it and it is ridiculous to demand thanks for it, but I do expect the base level of respect.

My mother only respects herself and her reputation.

I was working at a famous Canadian coffee shop (the one from the memes, you all know what one) for 2 years and I and everyone else was abused for years at it. I stayed longer than 70% of the people working there. This place was the worst. AC didn't work in the summer and it got to about 45 -50 degrees in there, of course we weren't allowed water breaks.

This place also did not want anyone to ever log their injuries. My friend logged a slip that resulted in her being in a hip brace and they cut her hours from full time to 1 4 hour shift a week for it. It was because of this and my being used to being abused that I didn't log a injury I got while trying to open a stuck fridge door.

I have bad knees so I ended up having them lock up while I tried to yank this door open underneath the deli counter causing my kneecap to pop off and my leg to collapse causing a v shape going outwards with the knee. I can't explain it well, but suffice to say, knees do NOT work that way. This is an injury that causes me pain almost every day of my life now, and because I was bullied into not recording it and it was almost 2 years ago now with everyone who was there having quit, there's nothing legally I can do.

I ended up leaving that place when an older lady who had been written up 7 times and not fired dispute almost attacking customers numerous times, screamed at a customer I was helping causing me to have a panic attack. I went to the back and was having a breakdown when she stormed in, threw the clipboard that holds the schedule at my head and punched a bookshelf beside me. I knew nothing would be done, so I left.

It was freeing for all of 5 minutes. Like a weight off my shoulders. Like when you're in a car crash and when you open your eyes, it was just a fender bender.

And then my mother demanded rent.

I had already paid my rent for the month (it was only about the 5th of April) and she was demanding next months rent "just to be sure"

Of course the next month comes around and she demands more rent, even though I paid in advance and went into debt to do it.

This was the beginning of the end.

My stepfather told her she was being ridiculous and to drop it so I could find work. And she did, for a bit. Now I currently live in K. K is a largish city that's only an hour away from Toronto on the 401 and even with the minimum wage being 14 an hour in Ontario, you still can not afford a 1 bedroom apartment in the ghetto here off 1 persons wages.

On top of that there aren't enough jobs to go around. Every single interview I've gone to has had no less than 5 other people to interview aside from me and that's on the low end.

So I've been jobless since April.

Fast forward a few months and my mother and stepfather break up. She and him had been together for 19 years and she has been cheating on him for 7 moths with her vocal instructor who is also a mutual friend of theirs.

They decide that they want to co-parent as to not disrupt the children's lives. Which would be acceptable if that was the case and not just a cover story so the kids don't worry.

The truth is, my mother sold her share of her company because she (like a whiny child) couldn't get along with her.

I mean admittedly she is a plastic prep who never grew out of it but I digress...

So she sold her part of the company and is taking payments of about 1000 a week for 2 years I think?

Rather than putting this towards the rent, shes been spending money like it's going out of style.

Since then she has bought a grand fucking piano which she's still making payments on, a whole ass horse and is paying for monthly board for her. She eats out nearly every single day and drives across cities numerous times a day in her giant gas guzzling ford truck.

To top it off, she attempted to ride said horse before properly rehabilitating it (it had been neglected and underfed so she was antsy and none of the saddles fit correctly) so it threw her.

Kali, I love you, you beautiful mare you, but you sent my mother to destination fucked, and I don't appreciate it.

She landed on her ankle, shattered it, nearly twisted it off completely and broke the leg bone clean in half. She nearly lost the leg due to infection and 15 months later we are still looking at about 10 more months of recovery if all go's well.

Now just because we live in Canada, doesn't mean this is a cheap endeavor. In fact my step father had to double his workload in the business he owned to make up for it, and the household is still having some issues (I'm not saying we are broke, because the lights are on and everyone is comfortable but we have to live by the dollar at this point.)

So money has been coming up a lot recently and has been another way to demean me and manipulate me and make me feel like trash.

The money is the reason why she want's to co-parent, because otherwise she most likely would not be able to support herself with how shes hemorrhaging money and cant work. (Physically she can, she just would prefer not to and to go out every day and night to party and bang her boyfriend. Did I mention she still hasn't legally divorced my father and still has his last name?

So a week to the day that they made the separation announcement, she gets my stepfather to tell me for her that I have to leave.

Because she wan'ts somewhere to sleep that isn't the couch.

And to "help me out" I could sleep on the couch until I find a place and maybe my family from L can help.

My family who most live off of welfare and minimum wage jobs in the shit end of town.

She didn't tell me when I was to leave, despite me asking her, I assume it was because I can be pretty scary when I am angry and screaming, I'll admit. I learned from my stepfather that I had to be out within the week.

I have to leave, with less than no money because my mother cheated on my stepfather.

Some people wounder what they are worth, money wise. I found out I am worth 500 CAD and some middle aged balding white man dick. How lovely.

So of course I have a total melt down. My friend took me in for a few days because I was on the edge of suicide and still am and couldn't be in the house anymore.

So I've contacted my family in L and am making arrangements to leave and its been a week to the day. Things are slow going as I find someone who can host me on their couch until I get on my feet so I'm on borrowed time.

I got frustrated as since then my mother hasn't said a word to me and has pretended I don't exist so I asked her what the hell she expected from me and how she could act like this.

I got this response. "Just take your shit and go"

OK.

I have a large room, most of the rooms in this house are large so its quite a bit to pack but I've got it more or less.

(Pic here The Packed Room )

In said room I have a lovely wooden bedroom set given to me from my grandmother before she died, as it was in the bedroom I always stayed in when I was at her house. There's a bedside table, bed with a nice head board and a large vanity with a huge mirror.

I never had anything as nice as that before grandmother so I made sure years ago with my stepfather that when I move, its going with me.

On top of that, i have a large old desk that used to be in the office before my stepfather upgraded, a TV which was gifted to me, 8 bookshelves that I saved from being tossed years ago, lovely purple blackout curtains with black flowers on them and a matching lamp and a leather futon couch which is actually quite classy and a PS4,3 and 2. (she occasionally games so I know she's been eyeing those)

I know my mom. I know she wants everything inside of here and will fight tooth and nail for it. But not only is everything in here mine and the accumulation of years, I have my stepfathers permission to take everything, because it is mine.

Take my shit and go? Ok. I will. My friend's grandfather is offering to store my stuff in his empty rooms because he is the kindest old veteran you'll ever meet. I'm taking EVERYTHING.

NOTHING will be left behind.

I hope she enjoys sleeping on the floor because I know for fact we don't have a spare bed.

And as I'm just taking my shit and going, Ill make sure to not tell her about how the very large window super heats the room in the summer at 3 in the afternoon and is almost as cold as the outside is in winter because it was never properly installed. I'll also neglect to tell her where the window leaks when it rains to put down towels so mold dosn't start growing. I'll neglect to tell her about how the wifi doesn't reach up here most of the time so she will have to wonder if her tech is broken.

Unrelated but she REALLY cares about what other people think and that's why I had the thick curtains.

The week is up in a few minutes so I took down MY curtains. Because I'm just taking my stuff and going right?

So I hope out neighbors don't see my chubby while butt undressing to sleep. I used to sleep naked.

I think I'll do that tonight.

TL;DR:

Mom gave the sacred succ to a person she shouldn't have, kicked me out with no warning, so now her one legged ass will be sleeping on the floor of the fancy room she traded me for and will have to answer questions to the whole cul du sac of middle aged upper middle class stuck up moms that she runs the community facebook page for about why her daughter was giving the neighborhood a strip show.

Also she may freeze / sweat to death before she figures out the window is fucked.

Will update once I'm gone about her reaction. Thanks for reading and remember:

Some times you just gatta do what you're told lol.

#Malicious Compliance

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