#baker!thor answered

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Whisked Away 3

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Part of the Sweet and Spicy AU

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You get a job at a bakery but your new boss only adds to your work

Character: chubby!baker!Thor

Please comment and reblog if it’s not too much. I always love getting to chat about these stories and hearing all your ideas! You all are wonderful and loved.

You set the icing bag down and step back. You press your hands against the front of your apron as Thor shifts closer to the counter. You watch him nervously as he turns the tray by the corner and considers your work. Each cookie is a variation of the cross-stitched them. The most detailed shows roses, while the others are intricately lined with grids with scalloped edges. 

He hums and sucks his teeth. You cringe and push your arms down straight, overly aware of yourself and your body. You should at least try to hide your desperation. His cheek dimples and he smiles as he faces you. 

“When can you start?” He asks. 

You nearly sway. You can’t believe it. You’re misunderstanding him. You shake your head, “pardon?” 

“You do good work, so... I’d like to hire you,” his tone is jovial. 

“Right, uh, when... when could I start?” You scrunch up your fists as you feel your insides buzzing. This can’t be real. It’s so sudden. Too good to be true. 

“If I’m being honest, right now,” he turns his large palms out, “however, there is the matter of paperwork and all that.” 

“Right,” you nod. 

“Tomorrow?” He suggests, “bring in a blank check and I can send the forms you need to fill out tonight. Is that too soon? Am I too desperate?” 

You almost laugh as he asks the questions in your own head. You let out a breath. It’s real! 

“Sure, that sounds good,” you agree.  

“Then I suppose that means you’re hired,” he announces and offers his hand, “welcome to the team.” 

You look at his thick fingers before you reach for them. You shake his hand, his covering yours entirely, and he clings for just a minute before he releases you. 

“I’ll pack these up to go,” he spins and marches across the kitchen. He takes out a square box and returns to the counter, “you can take them home to your sister.” 

“Uh, oh, thank you, you don’t have to do that.” 

“Please, a little celebration,” he says as he uses a rubber spatula to transfer the cookies, “I’m sure she’ll be happy to hear the good news.” 

“Ah, yeah,” you wring your hands then stop yourself. “Thanks.” 

“Of course,” he closes up the box and holds it out. “Tomorrow at six? You can open with me.” 

“Sure, I can make that work,” you smile, trying not to let your doubts break through. That might be a problem for Delaney. 

🍰

You put the box down on the table as Delaney sits in her recliner. She clacks the long needles together as she grumbles at her latest project. She gave a curt grunt at your entrance; she must be fighting another stitch. 

“Why don’t you grab your frame?” You suggest. 

“Bored of it,” she shrugs as you approach, “you bring me goodies?” 

She peeks over her shoulder towards the table. 

“Yep. Cookies,” you answer, “owner was really nice. Let me take them.” 

“Oh yeah? So...” she looks up at you, “how long til you know?” 

“I already do,” you can’t help a large grin, “I got it.” 

“You got it!” She shoves aside her knitting, “that’s...” she grunts as she pushes herself to the edge of the chair. She waves you away as you try to help, “amazing.” 

She stands and turns to you, pulling you into a crooked hug. You embrace her, your heart beating with joy. You haven’t been this happy in forever. You haven’t seen her this excited in just as long. 

She lets you go and to your surprises, stays standing. She groans as she stretches her arms and shifts around. She rolls her walker away from the side of the chair and leans on it. She’s not moving too bad. She wheels around you to the table and you follow. 

“There is one thing. I have to be there at six,” you explain, “so I might have to get you up early--” 

“Uh uh, I’m not getting up before sunrise,” she scoffs as she flips open the lid of the box, “I can get myself up.” 

“Right, I know, Deli, but if you need anything, you can call--” 

“Hey,” she takes a cookie out and considers it, “you need this job.” Her mouth slants as she looks at you, “we both need you to have this job. I’m not stupid,” she glances back at the cookie, “this is really cute. You did this?” 

“Uh, yeah, part of the interview,” you say, “it was... different. Nice place though. Family business, I think? His daughter works there.” 

“Ah, some old dude, huh?” Delaney angles herself to sit on the dining chair with her special cushion. “Fun.” 

“I guess he’s older. Big.” 

“Fat?” She chuckles. 

“Don’t be mean,” you shake your head, “tall... and a bit... pudgy, I guess.” 

“Huh, well, that’s not too bad. Better than some slave driver. Can’t be too bad if he gives you free cookies.” She takes a bite and her eyes nearly roll back as she hums, “oh my god!” She says through a mouthful and swallows, “these are so good. Have you tried one yet?” 

“No, I... my stomachs all knotted up.” 

“You got it, relax. Have a cookie before I eat them all,” she shoves the box towards you. 

“Alright,” you take one and nibble along the edge. You take a large bite as the sweetness crumbles onto your tongue. You cover your mouth as you nearly moan. She wasn’t being dramatic. “Oh god.” 

“Right?” She breaks off another piece, “this is like sex in my mouth.” 

“Ew,” you scrunch your nose up at her. 

“What? I ain’t no prude,” she scoffs, “actually, I've been talking to this guy online.” 

“Del,” you warn her. 

“I’m an adult,” she snaps. 

“I know,” you say, “I’m not saying anything except be careful. I remember Colin.” 

“Mm,” she frowns, “so do I. Jackass.” She reaches for another cookie, “you better bring home more of these.” 

“Uh huh,” you swipe the box towards you and close it up, “and you better slow down. You haven’t even had dinner.” 

“You are such an old lady,” she whines. 

“One of us has to be the mature one,” you sniff. 

“That’s fine. I like being the fun one,” she chortles and takes a massive bite, “mph, I could live off of these.” 

[ramblingsofamuskrat]

Can you connect the German city of Kiel to Diehard please? Thanks

Well the lazy way of doing this is the villain in Die Hard is Hans Gruber who was German and Kiel is in Germany. I could also be like: Oh Bruce Willis was born in Germany and yeah. But I love making things more convoluted than that...

So, we all know that Bruce Willis is in Die Hard, but an even more important role was his role as Tony Amato in one singular episode of Miami Vice, which we all know stars Don Johnson in it, who we all know was in Rian Johnson's movie Knives Out, which we all know. Ok I'll stop, even if this is just for you. You know actually I really wanted to connect this to Knives Out and then to 10 Things I Hate About You or 3rd Rock from the Sun because of Joseph Gordon-Levitt, but I have changed my mind, as it turns out Edward James Olmos is in the same Miami Vice episode as Don Johnson. Okay, so Edward James Olmos is Admiral Adama in Battlestar Galactica, which also stars Michael Hogan, from your favorite TV show ever, Teen Wolf. BUT, he is also in Skyrim as General Tullius. Skyrim also has Christopher Plummer as Arngeir, who was also in Knives Out. But that's not as fun as connecting to Charles Martinet, who was in the Mario movie despite not playing Mario but whatever. Now, as much as I love Charlie Day and want to connect through him, I feel the need to connect through Crisp Rat, but I'm resisting that cause I had a revelation. Charlie Day is in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, starring Danny DeVito, but Kim Whalen was in an episode of that show, and I love Starkid. Corey Dorris is also in Starkid and he was in an episode of Future Man, which has our icon, Josh Hutcherson, who was in Journey to the Centre of the Earth with Brendan Frasier, who was in the Mummy with Rachel Weisz, and she is married to Daniel Craig, bringing us BACK to Knives Out. Am I losing track of the mission?? NO!!!! So, Knives Out has many amazing cast members, but one of the more iconic ones, is Frank Oz. I just realized that my goal was to eventually bring my connection to the Lion King, and I can easily do that now cause Frank Oz is Yoda, but also that's lame cause I wanted to bring it to Matthew Broderick, but let it be known that we could just do Frank Oz to James Earl Jones at this point. So, Frank Oz was in Star Wars with Mark Hamill, who is in many, many things, such as Avatar, which features Dee Bradley Baker as Appa. He is also Perry the Platypus in Phineas and Ferb (for some reason my brain broke and almost wrote Despicable Me). Phineas and Ferb features Thomas Brodie-Sangster, which is always very funny to me, but it also has Ashley Tisdale, who was in the wonderful movie, 2009's Aliens in the Attic. Aliens in the Attic features many people, including Austin Butler, someone who was in the After movies, Tim Meadows, and Andy Richter, who played Mort in Madagascar. Ben Stiller is in Madagascar, who was in Night as the Museum, which has Rami Malek, who was in Bohemian Rhapsody with Joe Mazzello, who is in Jurassic Park (AND a movie called Star Kid). Jeff Goldblum is in Jurassic Park and also in Thor: Ragnarok, which also has Sam Neill in it, but unrelated to the goal at hand. Thor has Chris Hemsworth, who was in 2009's Star Trek, starring Chris Pine, who was in Wonder Woman with Robin Wright, who is in the Princess Bride with Cary Elwes, who was in Psych. Since they are not in the same episode, James Roday Rodriguez is in Psych, and so is Ally Sheedy, who was in War Games with Matthew Broderick.

To answer your question, yes, I came to the official conclusion that I really needed to get on track or this would literally last forever. Crazy how I can get myself to do this and not my homework. Ignore the fact that it took me over a month to respond to your question. Matthew Broderick is Simba in the Lion King, which also features Nathan Lane as Timon. Nathan Lane was in The Nutcracker: The Untold Story, which I know about solely because of Danny Gonzalez. Nathan Lane plays Albert Einstein in this movie, and so, within the lore of the movie, we could accurately state that because Albert Einstein exists within the movie, so does Max Planck, who knew Lise Meitner. I just wanted to say that cause I am aware as to how much you love her. But Max Planck was born in Kiel. Thank you and goodnight.

If I wanted to play this seriously, and not in my convoluted "6" Degrees of Michael Sheen way, probably could've connected Die Hard to Charlie Chaplin somehow, who met Albert Einstein but NO!!

I hope you enjoy this well thought out response, @wiggogwiggogywrath :)

P.S. That point where I was nervous about this going on forever took A LOT of willpower to not continue. Like I was gonna go into the After series and then end up in Harry Potter or some shit. I'm sure I would eventually run into both Smosh and Dropout cause I am addicted. Luckily for you, I was so concentrated at the task at hand, I somehow like forgot that I usually include those too but whatever. There ya go. Bitch.

P.P.S. I just wanted to do this cause now I can't stop please send help oh god oh no I can't stop, can't stop typing why did you do this to me I can't escape

P.P.P.S. Bye :)

[waywardxrhea]

Part Fourteen - The Battle of Sokovia part 1

[slow burn romance between Steve Rogers and SHIELD agent Emma Baker]

Warnings: 18+, contains humor, fluff, mental health, family trauma, romance, angst, language, violence, (potentially smut later on).

installment list

Word count: 5.2k

Emma joins the Avengers on their first mission in Sokovia and faces some mental health challenges along the way.

Early one morning Emma is woken up by a call on her work phone. When she answers the phone she hears Stark's voice on the other end saying, "Baker, we're following up on a lead today. Biggest mission yet, are you in?" He pauses and then continues, "Wait no, not a question. I don't pay you for nothing. We have a mission today, the jet takes off for Sokovia in an hour. Be there."

Emma can't even say a word before the line goes dead. "Okay, guess it's time for a mission." After dragging herself out of bed she quickly showers and throws on a comfy outfit for the mission. On the way out the door, she tosses a few snacks and other miscellaneous items into her bag that she may need throughout the day.

Upon arrival at Avengers Tower Emma gathers her drone and computer for documentation, throwing extra body cams and headsets into her bag for good measure. She takes a survey of her items and starts making her way to the jet where the others are.

As Emma sets up in the jet, she stays scarce and tries to not be seen so she won't disturb the team dynamic. Trying as she might to stay unseen, Bruce makes his way over to her. "Hey Emma," he says quietly.

"Hey Bruce," Emma greets him with a smile. "Are you ready for the mission?"

He nods and fiddles with his hands a little, saying, "We're bringing out the other guy today, and I know Nat can calm him down, but afterward I may need a bit more help. Did you bring the stuff?"

Emma nods and pulls out the herbal tea from her bag, telling him, "Right here. Let me just run and get an electric kettle from the break room and it'll be ready to go when you get back on the jet post-mission."

"Thank you," Bruce replies with a soft smile.

Ever since the two had gone to the coffee shop a few times together after missions, Emma began providing Bruce with tea from the shop for when they wouldn't be able to get back there soon enough post-mission. The tea helped both of their nerves and it helped Emma feel more connected with Bruce.

Emma hustles to the break room and unplugs the kettle from the wall, tucking it under her arm before grabbing some water bottles to use to brew the tea later. She runs back to the jet and hops onto the ramp as it begins to close. "Are you always going to cut it so close getting onto jets for missions?" Steve asks with a chuckle as Emma puts the kettle with her stuff in the corner of the jet.

Out of breath from running, Emma doesn't respond for a second which allows Thor to say, "Lady Emma just knows how to make an entrance. I could give you a few pointers, but I'm afraid many of them won't work for a mere mortal like yourself."

"I appreciate it though, thanks, Thor," Emma replies. She looks to Steve and says, "I just needed to get a few more things. Always have to be prepared."

She continues her set up in the corner and Stark comments, "Baker's just the mother hen for all of us."

"Maybe being the mother hen she can keep that ego in check," Romanoff calls from her seat with a smirk.

There are a few more witty remarks from the others and Steve adds to Emma, "It's really good that you're looking out for Banner after missions. I'm glad you both found a way to stay grounded after the fact."

"Just trying to be helpful," Emma tells him with a smile.

Soon enough, the jet lands in the small country of Sokovia, and the team makes their way off the jet. "Be safe out there," Emma calls as they make their exit.

"Yes, Mom," Stark calls over his shoulder with a laugh.

Emma isn't sure how she ended up being called the mother of the group, but she brushes it off every time. She isn't doing anything special, just trying her best to fit in with this group of heroes. Some days she feels like she's failing miserably though. Sure, she joins them on missions and helps track down the bases they were taking, but she can't escape the feeling that she doesn't deserve the position she was given at Stark Industries.

Emma shakes her head and tries distracting herself from her thoughts. After a few seconds, she begins to focus her attention on the images that are coming onto her computer from the team's body cams. She ensures that all of them are in working order and then sends out her drone via the control tablet.

Not too long after Emma gets the drone out onto the field, the battle quickly becomes hot with HYDRA agents using large arsenals of guns to deter the team. While Emma captures the footage she clicks a few buttons on her computer so the feed is connected with Maria back in New York. "Are you getting this Hill?"

"Affirmative," Maria replies from her desk back in Avengers Tower.

"Great," Emma replies.

After this, she activates her headset, connecting herself to the team. Not even two seconds into being on the line, Stark quips, "Nice of you to join the party, Baker."

Sighing inwardly, Emma laughs before saying, "You guys are doing great out there, keep it up. HYDRA doesn't stand a chance."

"Of course they don't, we're the Avengers," Stark replies as he takes out a few armored trucks.

The battle rages on for a few minutes more and Stark finally gets what he thinks is a clean shot at entering the building. Emma captures him flying towards it but then being deflected by an invisible armor field the structure has surrounding it. "Shit!" he curses as he bounces off of the shield.

"Language!" Steve shouts at him. Emma instantly begins to laugh, turning her side of the headset on mute, but not before everyone hears it. Getting back to the mission quickly, Steve asks, "JARVIS what's the view like from upstairs?"

In response, JARVIS tells him, "The technology in this HYDRA base is nothing like we have seen before."

"Then Loki's scepter must be here," Thor announces while fighting. "They couldn't mount these defenses without it. At long last..."

Emma contains her laughter and focuses her drone on Romanoff taking down a group of HYDRA agents. Even though she has stealth on, Emma still has to dodge a lot of bullets and blasts from the onslaught coming from the enemy. Romanoff finishes off the men she was fighting and tells Thor, "At long last is lasting a little long boys."

"Yeah, I think we lost the element of surprise," Barton says as he takes down a turret in the distance.

After a few more seconds of no one commenting on the incident with Steve, Stark asks, "Wait a second, is no one going to deal with the fact that Cap just said language? Spangles even your girlfriend was laughing at you." This comment ignites a furious blush onto Emma's cheeks and she is very happy that no one could see her.

"Focus on the mission, Stark," Steve calls out, brushing off the comment, he doesn't have time to be distracted by the teasing.

At the same time that he tells Stark this, Steve throws his motorcycle at some of the HYDRA agents attacking him. Seeing this from his body cam, Emma turns her side of the coms back on and laughs while asking, "Steven Grant, did you just throw your bike?"

"Uh oh, Mom and Dad are fighting," Stark says.

"Stark!" Steve and Emma shout at the same time, both flustered and slightly frustrated at his persistence on this subject during a mission.

Wanting to focus on the task at hand, Romanoff calls out, "Mission now, witty banter later boys."

After a few more minutes of intense battle, Emma calls to Stark, "Hey Stark, the city is starting to take fire."

"You're just about a millisecond behind JARVIS," he replies. "I'm sending in the Iron Legion, better get that on video. The news stations will eat that up."

"On it," Emma replies, flying her drone upwards to capture the Iron Legion departing the jet and going into the city. As she films the Legion, Emma also sees a blur coming from the base. Just in case it could be of importance, Emma says, "You guys have incoming. I couldn't catch what it was, but whatever it was was fast." Emma's warning goes unnoticed by the team through their fighting though because on the other end of the headsets is radio silence in response.

After a few seconds more of silence, Steve's voice comes over the headsets, calling, "Stark, we need to get inside!"

"I'm closing in," Stark replies. As he begins his fight with some more HYDRA troops, he tells Emma, "Baker, I think I'm gonna want your eyes over on me in a second, I'm breaching soon."

"Aye," Emma replies and begins maneuvering towards the building.

"Any way you can hack in and get ears inside? Maybe even get this barrier down?" Stark asks as he flies through the base. "I would do it myself but I'm a bit distracted right now."

"I can try, their tech is really good though," Emma tells him, turning to the second set of computers and putting her drone up in standby mode hovering above the building while waiting on Stark. She goes through as many different codes to hack in as she can, but the system is changing too quickly. Emma sighs and says, "I can keep trying but the base keeps changing its coding and encryption as I go. When I get one wall down they put up three more. Any advice Romanoff?"

She replies quickly, telling her, "If their base is powered by the scepter there probably isn't any way to get in."

"She's right Lady Emma, you have no clue what you're up against here," Thor tells her. "That scepter is one of the strongest power sources in the universe. It will always be one step ahead."

Emma nods despondently but continues to try hacking in. As she does this though, Stark ends up taking down the barrier himself. "Drawbridge is down, people," he announces. Emma sighs to herself but tries to keep her disheartened thoughts at bay for the time being. After all, what was she gonna do, be mad that Tony Stark did something before she could?

Further down the battlefield, Steve and Thor stand together, discussing the enhanced kid Emma spotted earlier. Steve asks Emma, "Can you see him right now?"

Emma turns back to her drone laptop and flips through the camera angles and responds, "Negative. He's a blur even with Stark's tech."

Steve sighs and says, "Of everyone we've faced, I haven't seen anything like this... Actually, I don't think I have seen it yet."

Before anyone can respond to Cap's words, Romanoff announces, "Clint's been hit really badly, he needs back on the jet ASAP."

"Things look to have quieted down, I can come to get him," Emma tells her, about to stand up and go out to get Barton.

Before she can even stand up, Steve stops her by saying, "Emma you aren't equipped to come out here, whoever this kid is could hurt you easily." Emma knows that he was only looking out for her, but she still deflates at the order, feeling like nothing she was doing today was help at all to the team.

"Don't worry, I will get Barton back to the ship. The sooner we're gone, the better," Thor tells Romanoff.

As he says this, a group of soldiers comes to try and attack him and Cap, but they take them down easily. After their takedown, he turns to Steve and says, "Find that scepter."

Stark takes the moment to quip, "And for gosh sake, watch your language!"

Through her jumbled thoughts, the comment makes Emma smile as Steve mumbles, "That's not going away any time soon."

After the moment ends, Emma turns her attention back to her drone for a second to follow Stark's path of the breach before trying to hack into the base again to get any sort of information she can. She types furiously into the system, almost getting in but ultimately failing once more. "Baker, you're doing something right, they're shouting about someone trying to get into the database," Stark tells her as he lands in the building after breaking in through a window. "But I am in, JARVIS can take over now."

"Copy," she replies to Stark flatly. To add insult to injury, some of the stragglers that Stark didn't take down walk out to the building's platforms, and before Emma could register what was happening, one aims at the drone and shoots it down. "Son of a bitch!" Emma curses in frustration, hot tears pricking the back of her eyes.

"Everything okay, Baker?" Barton asks through gritted teeth as Thor loads him into the jet and onto a cot.

Emma jumps at the sudden voice behind her and quickly brushes away her tears, telling him, "They had tech that could detect my drone despite the stealth mode. It was shot down."

"That shouldn't be possible..." Stark mutters as he works in the building.

"Could someone get the drone on their way back?" Emma asks quietly.

"Not with that filthy mouth of yours, Missy," Stark replies jokingly.

"Don't worry, Em, I can get it before I head back," Steve tells her as he makes his way to the building.

"Thanks, Cap," Emma mumbles.

After a few more minutes, Romanoff announces, "Things are locked down out here."

"Get to Banner then, it's time for a lullaby," Steve tells her. At this cue, Emma gets up from her chair and starts to brew the tea for herself and Bruce. She barely notices when he and the rest of the team get into the jet a little while later because her mind is so crowded by her anxious thoughts.

After everyone gets back onto the jet and Barton's injury is being tended to, Emma sits at her station picking debris off of her drone absentmindedly. Her tea sits untouched and gets colder as the minutes go on. Seeing her state, Steve approaches and asks, "Penny for your thoughts?"

Emma shrugs and doesn't make eye contact with him. He sits beside her and after a few seconds, she knows he isn't leaving without an answer so she sighs and admits, "I just feel...useless. You guys are out here quite literally saving the world and then here I am not able to crack their firewalls and then getting my drone shot down... Some days I just feel like the team would be better off without me here."

"Hey, don't let those thoughts get to you," Steve replies, placing a hand on her knee. "Everyone has their part to play. Without you we wouldn't know what we could improve on in the next mission, that's very important."

"I guess..." Emma replies quietly.

"Everything'll be okay, Em," Steve tells her and squeezes her knee a bit before walking off to debrief the rest of the team. He hates seeing Emma so upset, but he can't take her off of missions because even though he was the Captain, it was Stark's call as her boss to have her come along.

Wanting to be alone, Emma puts on headphones and starts playing some soft piano music to try and calm down as she sips her tea that has by now gone ice cold. A few minutes later, Stark puts the jet into autopilot and approaches Emma. She takes her headphones off upon seeing him coming to talk with her. "You know I can just make another right, Newsie?"

Emma looks up with a slight smile at the nickname because it reminds her of when she first met Steve and they saw Newsies on Broadway. She breaks eye contact with Stark to look at the debris, her smile falling as she admits, "I just feel like I failed."

"We all do sometimes," Stark replies. "I'm making a new one when we get back home. It'll be faster, more agile, better tech. This one's on me as much as it is on you, so I'm using it as a learning opportunity and upgrading all the stealth tech I can. When we get back to the tower we're starting on the new drone after I make some progress with this scepter."

"Okay..." Emma replies softly.

He sees a part of himself in Emma seeing her reaction to the trauma she's experienced, so he tells her, "Remember, you're an asset to this team as a whole, don't get too down on yourself. And remember I don't pay you for nothing."

Emma laughs a bit at the comment and nods, saying, "When we get back I'll give you a few hours, and then we can get started."

The team gets back to the tower and everyone goes their own ways for a little bit. Although Emma had some tea on the jet, she still goes to the coffee shop for an hour or so to relax. While there, she calls up Sam to see if he could meet her there to chat for a little bit. After Sam arrives and orders a drink, he sits down across from Emma. He smiles in greeting and says, "Hey Ems, what's up? How'd the mission go?"

"That's what I wanted to talk with you about," Emma tells him. She gathers her thoughts for a moment and says, "I was just wondering if you had any tips on how I can feel...more adequate and useful on missions? Because lately I just feel like no matter what I do it doesn't help the team at all or I just get in the way."

"Man I'm sorry you're feeling like that, Ems. Have you talked to Steve about it? Maybe there's something he can do to help."

Emma shakes her head, telling him, "No, not extensively at least. I mentioned it on the jet back home but..."

"But...?"

"But I just feel like even if I did mention something to him there wouldn't be much he could do. All of this mess is inside my head and I can't escape it," she admits quietly.

"Well do you know why you feel this way? Because you've worked with the Avengers before right? Did you feel like this then?"

"Last time I worked with the Avengers it was a one-off type of deal and it was pretty spontaneous. I didn't have time to think about my lack of skills because I just needed to stay alive to tell the tale."

"Well if it wasn't then, what about when you were on the STRIKE team?" Sam asks. "I know that day I met you you seemed a bit down about yourself on the team."

Emma thinks for a second and then replies, "That was around the time my Grammie died. Before she passed, I was fine for the most part. I would always video chat with her and she would tell me how proud of me she was for doing good for the world and that she was happy I was following my dreams. There was always stress in my life, but she always knew how to calm me down..."

"Do you think there's any reason that would have caused this...inferiority complex of sorts? Besides the obvious not having one of your biggest fans right there whenever you want to chat?"

Thinking again, Emma realizes why. It was because Grammie always kept her positive from the day Emma went into their custody. She kept Emma's mind off of her parents and now that she was gone, all the feelings Emma had while being raised by her parents were resurfacing. Not wanting to remember those times, Emma pushes them away from her mind and simply tells Sam, "I think I know, yeah."

Sam opens his mouth to ask another question to further their discussion but decides not to after how long it took Emma to come up with her simple response coupled with the sad look in her eyes. "I can tell you don't want to talk about it, so how about we talk about something else? Like... what game we should show to Steve next. I vote Just Dance because...well just imagine it." Sam can't help but laugh at the end of his sentence which makes Emma finally crack a smile and laugh too.

"I imagine he would be really good or really bad at that one," Emma tells him. "Oh, no, imagine Thor playing Just Dance!" At this thought, Emma loses herself into a fit of giggles, the mental image temporarily distracting her from her previous thoughts.

Sam laughs with her and ags it on with more banter about each of the other Avengers playing the game. The two chat for a little while longer and the thoughts of the past fade away from Emma's mind and she becomes relaxed once more.

At one point Emma checks her phone and sees they had already been there for two hours and tells Sam that she has to excuse herself. "Well it was nice Ems," Sam tells her on the way out. "Call me if you want to talk later okay?"

"Will do," she tells him as she turns to walk to Avengers Tower.

When she arrives, Emma finds Stark with Bruce in the lab, knocking gently on the glass door as she enters. "You went to the coffee shop without me?" Bruce asks teasingly, seeing the cup in her hand.

"I assumed you would be pretty busy, so I just got you something to-go instead."

"I appreciate it," Bruce replies, taking the cup.

Stark tells JARVIS to take control of his tasks for a little bit while he sets Emma up in another lab. "Walk with me, Newsie."

"You know, I'm digging the nickname," Emma says, new energy in her after taking a while to relax with Sam.

"I know," he says with an arrogant smirk. "Ties into your job here plus that musical. Speaking of music. Banner tells me that much like him, music calms you down when things get bad in here." He ends the statement with a gentle knock on Emma's head with his knuckle.

Emma nods, telling him, "That would be correct."

Stark nods and says, "Now I don't mean to be that guy, but I know how you felt during the mission. You felt like you couldn't do anything, that nothing you did was right, and that you were useless to the team."

"Wow, don't hold back or anything..." Emma mumbles, her thoughts going back to what she felt as her drone was shot down.

"I'm just being realistic here, Baker. I had an idea when I saw you and Banner listening to music on the jet. What if with this new drone I make it like a mini JARVIS? I could add in some tech where it can sense your vitals and if you're stressed out it helps you get grounded again so you can continue on the mission as efficiently as possible. I'll also add in smarter stealth, voice commands along with the tablet controls, some weapons for self-defense. That way you can also help save our asses if you need to. Sometimes taking a bit of initiative in battle can help ease those feelings you've been having."

While he's telling her this and showing the schematics, Emma's jaw drops slightly. "Stark, you really don't have to do this. I couldn't ask so much of you."

"Well good thing you don't have to. You're a good agent, Baker. You have skills that just need a little more honing at this level, but you also have anxiety that impairs you. In the heat of a mission, a split second makes all the difference, so we need you on top of your game. I hired you because I saw your resume and potential. All that needs to be done now is some fine-tuning."

"Where do we start?" Emma asks with a smile.

"Well, I already started on the intelligence chip while you were sipping tea at that shop. All I need you to do is sit in that chair." Emma cocks an eyebrow but follows the instructions.

A few seconds later, a woman in scrubs comes into the lab and introduces herself, "I'm Helen Cho, I don't believe we've met."

"Emma Baker," Emma says. She sees the set of electrodes on her cart and raises her eyebrows, asking, "What are we gonna be doing here, Miss Cho?"

"These will just measure your heart rate and rhythm via EKG. I'm also going to be monitoring your blood pressure and respirations while Mr. Stark shows you-"

Suddenly Stark interrupts her, saying, "Ah, ah, ah. I haven't told her yet."

"Told me what?" Emma asks hesitantly.

"Now, for this tech to work the way I want it to, we need to expose you to a particularly stressful experience or memory. Preferably both if I'm honest, the tech needs to know how you react to both."

"Oh..." Emma trails off. But then she remembers how she felt during the mission earlier and how she could have done a lot more if she had been able to get herself grounded and thinking rationally. She quickly changes her tone and continues with, "I'm in."

"Knew you would be," Stark replies while typing out some programming. "All of this really started after that last mission at SHIELD right?"

"That was the one yeah," Emma replies quietly as Helen gets her hooked up to the equipment. It wasn't a complete lie...it was just after that mission that everything got worse.

"Then we start there. I'll get Hill to get the files from your old drone. Are there any other sorts of things you can think of that cause bad thoughts? Those you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but you'll need to think of them for the reads."

Emma nods and takes a breath. Helen finishes hooking her up and she leans back into the chair. A sound rings in the room signaling the incoming transmission from Maria, indicating that the files are ready to go. "You ready?" Stark asks.

"Probably not," Emma replies and forces a laugh.

"Well it's now or never," he tells her, starting the footage and headset audio.

The images from that week surround them and the coms audio fills the room. The footage starts off with the capture of Sitwell which did not affect Emma, but when that footage cuts off, what plays next is her crouching behind a car and then the Winter Soldier holding the knife to her throat. Emma's heart jumps and she closes her eyes for a second. She blows out a breath but her hands begin to shake as she gets flashes of memories from that week. The ones standing out were always with those damn knives he had...

Out of earshot, Tony rubs his chin while programming and mumbles, "This is good...this is gonna work." He clicks a few buttons and different images of the final battle surround them, ones of Sam getting knocked down, planes exploding, Steve getting shot. The overwhelming amount of footage sets Emma over the edge and tears fall from her eyes while her heart races, her body wanting to run from it all.

From the hall, Steve, who was walking to a different lab to check on Barton, hears the sounds of the mission, and his ears perk up. He looks into the room and sees Emma hooked up to a machine and Tony programming something. His mind instantly goes to the worst case scenario at the sight and enraged, he storms into the room and shouts, "Stark! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I'm working, Spangles," Stark replies while continuing to program. He then smirks and adds, "I'm offended by the language by the way."

Steve looks to Emma who starts to wipe her tears, her racing heart slowing down a little bit in his presence. "Oh I can give you something to be offended about, Stark," Steve says in a low voice. "Take that shit off of her right now."

When Stark doesn't stop, Steve makes a move toward Emma to get the wires off of her. Stark quickly blocks his path and puts his hand out, stopping him as he asks, "Would you rather this reaction happen in the middle of a battle? Huh? Because with the tech I'm programming for her right now that won't have to happen."

"Do you not see how upset she is? Do you ever even think of what you do affecting others?" Steve snaps.

"Actually yes, I do, Rogers, as surprising as that sounds."

The arguing triggers a series of memories from her childhood that Emma had repressed up until this moment. They're the same ones she started to remember earlier but pushed away. She tries to control her breathing and concentrates on that rather than the bickering and the memories flooding her brain. Emma doesn't even realize that the arguing had finally stopped until there was a hand on her back trying to comfort her. "Are you okay?" Steve asks, his eyes and voice soft.

Emma nods and forces a laugh as she says, "That was just a bit intense."

"You did great, Newsie," Stark says a few seconds later. Steve throws him a glare and Stark puts his hands up. He avoids Steve by tossing Emma something and says, "Here, take this drive. Plug the chip into your computer at home and upload any music that calms you down. When I finish up the programming after you get that back to me you shouldn't have to worry about attacks on the battlefield."

"Battlefield?" Steve asks, crossing his arms.

"She can still stay in the jet, Spangles, but now she'll be able to aid in the fight."

"Thank you, Tony," Emma tells him softly.

"Take the next few days off and work on that music setup. I assume I'll see you at the party on Saturday?"

"I'll be there. I'll bring this back with me then," she replies with a nod.

With that, Emma and Steve walk out of the lab together. After a few seconds, Emma speaks up, saying, "I'm sorry you had to see that, Steve."

"It's not your fault. Why'd you let him do that to you though? We both know how that week hurt you..."

This protective side of Steve makes Emma's heart flutter and a small smile sets onto her lips. After a few seconds she tells him, "I know what you were probably thinking when you saw that set up, and I just want to reassure you that it wasn't anything like that."

"I just wasn't thinking there for a second. You can't blame me for being concerned," Steve replies, scratching the back of his neck. "I can't lose someone else to that hell, Em."

"I don't blame you at all, Steve. Tony was telling the truth though. With this new tech he's making for me if I get too stressed out on a mission, I'll have a way to stay grounded. He knows how it is to have an attack like I do and just wants to help."

Steve sighs and nods, saying, "Okay, I trust your judgment. You know what's best for you."

Emma smiles as she says, "It'll all be okay. Thank you for caring, though."

"Always," Steve replies with a smile.

link to the next part

[andrewmoocow]

Steven Universe Snake Eyes chapter 1: Home is Where the Heart Is (originally posted on August 28, 2023)

AN: This is it, everyone. The end finally begins here. We are about to embark on the final installment of Steven Universe: Alternate Future, a grand finale three years in the making. But before we begin, a little history lesson. I intended to follow up Alternate Future with just one sequel, but because I just can't stop at just one story, it soon sprang up into the little shared universe you see before you. Afterwards, I got the idea of the Snake People after watching Planet Hulk on Netflix, which some of you may remember from an answer to an ask I got on my Tumblr, in addition to Thor Ragnarok and Ratchet Deadlocked. So, I slowly began planting the seeds for this epic conclusion throughout most of the previous stories, mainly in The Black Pearl Brigade, which I used as an outlet to expand on this version of Steven's universe and introduce new characters that would play a role in Snake Eyes. Now that we've set the stage, let us begin at last.

Synopsis: Steven returns home to Beach City, but the Gems have gone missing. When Black Rutile explains where the Gems have been taken, Steven goes on a rescue mission.

Cast:

Zach Callison as Steven

Noël Wells as Black Rutile

Tom Scharpling as Greg

Grace Rolek as Connie

Zach Steel as Ronaldo

Dee Bradley Baker as Lion

Della Saba as Aquamarine

Charlyne Yi as Eyeball, Doc, Navy, Leggy, Army

Christine Pedi as Holly Blue Agate

Casey Lee Williams as Cat's Eye

Avi Roque as Cinnabar

Awkwafina as Kyanite

Allison Janney as Pyrite

Kimberly Brooks as Dalmatian Jasper

Zehra Fazal as Zoisite

Lena Hall as Bloodstone

Jodie Whittaker as Xenotime

Kari Wahlgren as Pyrope

Melissa Fahn as Demantoid, Eyeball Demantoid

Jinkx Monsoon as Emerald, Chest Emerald

Hayley Kiyoko as Morganite

Halsey as Tanzanite

Idina Menzel as Amazonite

Mia Barron as Apatite

Jennifer Paz as Phoenix Lapis

Gina Torres as Andesine

Barbara Dunkelman as Amber

Kristen Schaal as Howlite

Olivia Olson as Citrine Twins

Neil Flynn as The Officer/Aescul

Chris Jai Alex as Sneople Soldier Leader

Henry Rollins as Captain Boa

--

"Another day, another minute spent in this hellhole." Black Rutile groaned to herself as she scratched another tally mark on the wall of her Revanche 666 prison cell before lying on her back. "A great man once said that a wise strategist gathers all his information before deciding on a course of action. Well, guess he wasn't talking about me when he said that."

Three weeks ago, by Black Rutile's estimate at least, she was taken to prison on Revanche 666 after the Crystal Gems finally had enough of her scheming to take over the universe and destroy them once and for all. She had everything all planned out too, she manipulated several Crystal Gems to her side, got the support of humans who shared her worldview, and expanded her army with previous allies and innocent Gems she brainwashed into joining her. But once again, thanks to a certain human whose last name she can never get right, Black Rutile's plans had been foiled and she was forced to face the consequences for it. Now all that she had left were the mindless conversations of her subordinates to keep her company.

"Come on, they have one female servicing a large group of males," Kyanite said while in a heated debate over the reproduction of a certain species. "That implies a species that lays eggs."

"Oh my Diamonds, you're crazy!" an irritated Bloodstone yelled. "They are so obviously mammals!"

"Please, she'd be in estrus 24/7 if she didn't lay eggs!" Kyanite objected to Bloodstone's point.

"But they don't lay eggs!" Bloodstone replied. "I don't have to keep telling you this!"

"You're both wrong." Howlite butted into the two's conversation. "They are beings who reproduce asexually, therefore they have no reproductive organs to procreate with."

"Dang Howlite, why you always gotta get so smart on us?" Kyanite asked Howlite.

"Can you nitwits shut up with your insane babbling?!" Aquamarine shrieked from her cell. "I am trying to plot our revenge here!"

"Hey, why are you the one making plans?" Cat's Eye asked Aquamarine while waking up from a cat nap. "Shouldn't Black Rutile be the one arranging everything and gathering forces like she always does?"

"Unfortunately, it seems Black Rutile is no longer fit to lead us," Aquamarine stated, cringing as she insulted the Rutile Rebels' grand leader. "Just look at her, she's become like a pathetic wet cat who's been left out in the rain for way too long."

"You know I can hear you, and I do not like what you're saying." Black Rutile snarled at her tiny second in command.

"But it's true!" Eyeball agreed with Aquamarine. "You've lost your touch, my Rutile! It was because you couldn't accept defeat that we're stuck here today, stripped of our rights and locked up like animals!"

"Yeah, I just wanted my family back!" Tanzanite yelled.

"You need to accept that we lost!" Holly Blue added.

"Yelling feels really cathartic right now!" Amber cheered, only wanting to join in as the other Rutile Rebels snapped at their leader with accusations, making Black Rutile's already low self-esteem worsen before they heard a knock.

"Hey, keep it down, all of you!" a Bismuth guard shouted. "Lights out everyone, see you all in 0800 hours!" However, lights out soon arrived earlier than expected as the imprisoned Gems heard a loud explosion from the entrance of the prison, followed by alarms blaring as a group of snakelike soldiers dressed in black and white armor marched into the prison with blasters at the ready.

"Wow, look at all these Gems!" the leader laughed in surprise. "It's like they had them all wrapped up for us as presents! Okay boys, move out. This should be easy pickings."

"No, not them!" Black Rutile cried in alarm as she instantly recognized these intruders' reptilian bodies. "It can't be!"

"Attention prisoners of Revanche 666, prepare to be enslaved in the name of the Jormagundr royal family of Serpentes!" the leader declared, striking a dramatic pose. "Everybody out of your cells, no need to make a ruckus." At the leader's command, the other snake soldiers released the Rutile Rebels from their cells and forced them into one large group.

"I gotta get out of here!" Black Rutile yelled before she stabbed a snake-man as soon as he freed her from her cell with her bowie knife and made a run for it.

"Hey, that black Gem is escaping! After her!" another soldier yelled as he helped his comrade to his feet and began firing at Black Rutile.

"If you want my soldiers, you're going to have to catch me first!" Black Rutile yelled as she turned her knife into a sword and began cutting down any snake people in her way while trying to find a way to escape.

"Where are you going?" Cinnabar asked Black Rutile. "You can't just leave us behind like this!"

"On the contrary, if you don't need me anymore, then I guess I don't need you anymore either." Black Rutile corrected Cinnabar. "In other words, adios turdnuggets!" After throwing out a few obscene hand gestures with a maniacal laugh, Black Rutile charged to the nearest escape shuttle and began taking off.

"So she's really ditching us, huh?" Emerald mourned as the Rutile Rebels watched their so-called commander escape like a coward. "I should've known it was going to happen soon enough."

"What are you going to do to us?" Pyrope asked while the snake-men busted out sets of handcuffs to put on their Gem prisoners.

"Our lord Cobralan Joramgundr has had his eyes on you for a while, and thanks to some informants, all of you are now ours for the taking." The snakes' leader stated while applying the cuffs to the Ruby squad. "Hope you like fighting for your lives."

"Finally, some action!" Dalmatian Jasper cried excitedly while the snakes tried to work around her lack of a left hand to put the cuffs on her. "Better than rotting in prison for the rest of eternity."

"Oh my sweet Jasper, you have no idea what you and your friends are getting into." The leader snake said forebodingly while applying the last of the handcuffs on Andesine. "Okay, that should be all of the prisoners! Any update on the personnel?"

"Presently restrained, sir." Another snake soldier replied as the Peridots, Bismuths, and Black Pearls were led away from their posts in a chain gang. "Preparing coordinates back to Serpentes. Our leader will be most pleased with our findings."

"Well, this could've turned out a lot worse," Amazonite muttered disdainfully while Phoenix Lapis tried to open her mouth. "And don't even ask how it could get even worse."

Meanwhile, Black Rutile was reclining back in her captain's chair as the shuttle she hijacked flew far away from Revanche 666. She had long dreaded the day that the Snake People would come for the Gems, but she didn't expect that to be today of all days. "It was only a matter of time before our ancient enemies came looking for us." She sighed in relief. "Now all I need is somewhere to hide until this all blows over." As it just so happens, she flew away so fast in her escape, that Black Rutile could see Earth in the far distance, just a little blue ball from her perspective. "Okay, not what I had planned, but maybe I can work with this."

With that, Black Rutile veered the ship towards Earth and began flying to the planet she despised so much, hoping that it would be the Hail Mary she was looking for.

--

To think it was only a year ago when Steven left Beach City to find himself. A year since he had a meltdown to end all meltdowns, nearly destroyed Beach City, was used by Black Rutile to try and destroy Earth, and finally got the recovery he was so desperate for. Now, after a year of touring the country, he decided it was time to visit his old friends, and it was a very special time too. Steven was going to turn 18 today, and he was eager to see all of his friends and family back home again. But as he pulled into Beach City and was warmly greeted by the excited townies, Steven couldn't help but ponder that something was missing.

"Gooood morning Beach City!" Steven cried as he pulled up to the Crystal Temple and burst out of the Dondai Supremo with a thunderous aplomb. "Everybody's favorite half-Diamond is back for the big One-wait." He stopped short once he realized what was missing. "Where are all the Gems?"

"Steven, is that you?" Steven could hear Greg's voice suddenly appearing behind him. "How you been, Schtu-Ball?"

"Dad!" Steven cried as he rushed up and hugged his father. "I'm so happy to see you!"

"Glad to see you too, kiddo, and happy birthday!" Greg laughed jollily before letting his now adult son go. "Wow, eighteen. Funny how time flies, huh?"

"I still can't believe it either." Steven agreed. "Feels like only yesterday that I first discovered my powers and thought Cookie Cats were connected to them. But that's not important right now, because I have a problem. Have you seen the Crystal Gems anywhere?"

"Not since this morning." Greg nodded. "Pearl got a message from Little Homeworld saying something was wrong and they went off on the Warp Pad. And that was the last I saw of them."

"Something was wrong?" Steven said to himself before he made the first conclusion that came to his mind. "Black Rutile, of course. Come on Dad, we have to save them!"

"Right behind you, sport!" Greg saluted as the father and son took the Warp Pad to Little Homeworld, which was just as barren as the temple, if not even more so.

"I don't get it, where is everyone?" Steven asked as he looked around the empty Little Homeworld. What was once full of happy Gems finding their way in life was now home to a few tumbleweeds and worried pets. "They couldn't have just vanished overnight!"

"Maybe they're all putting on a really elaborate surprise party!" Greg replied with an awkward laugh before giving it to his son straight. "Okay, you got me. I have no idea what's going on." Just then, the two heard a nervous moan, followed by a little Flower Buddy scuttling towards Steven while shivering in fear. "Oh, hey little guy. Is something wrong?"

"Dad, this is Zuli's Flower Buddy!" Steven stated as he held the little creature in his arms. "What's wrong, you little cutie? What happened to your momma?" Unfortunately, the Flower Buddy nervously shook its head before leaping out of Steven's nurturing embrace and running away. "Wait, come back!"

"I guess it must be too scared to say anything," Greg concluded. "I mean, it's not like the great big answer to all of our questions is going to fall out of the sky!"

Just then, Steven noticed something out of the corner of his eye. Above them, a streak of light was falling to Earth, immediately answering Greg's question. "A shooting star in the middle of the day?" Steven wondered to himself as he tried to get a closer look. "Wait, is that star screaming?" Indeed, the star was shrieking loudly before it crashed into the woods nearby, creating a large explosion that could be seen from Little Homeworld. "This day just keeps getting weirder! Come on!"

The Universes then raced out of Little Homeworld and took a journey to the nearby forest, the air now polluted by smoke and fire as the trail of destruction led the duo to what was once Jasper's cave, now smashed to pieces by a crashed spaceship. The two watched as a familiar black hand burst from the wreckage and pulled Black Rutile from what could've been her tomb, haggard and frantic while glaring straight at Steven. "Steven Universe, we meet again at last."

"Stay back Dad, she looks dangerous!" Steven reflexively drew his shield to defend his father with as Black Rutile lurched towards the two. However, Steven slowly realized that maybe this time, Black Rutile wasn't here to hurt. In fact, she didn't seem to even have a weapon drawn and was instead futilely reaching out to him and Greg. "Wait, something's wrong."

"Help me Steven Universe, you're my only hope." Black Rutile wheezed before she fell flat on her face, seemingly passed out from the crash.

"I don't know about you Steven Seagel, but she looks like she's seen better days," Greg said while looking over at Black Rutile's struggling body. "Shouldn't she be pretending to twirl a mustache while going all 'MWAHAHA, I'm going to kick every puppy in the world and there's nothing you can do to stop me!'?"

"Something definitely isn't right here." Steven agreed with Greg while helping Black Rutile to her feet and waking her up. "Black Rutile, it's me, Steven!"

"Someone set us up the bomb." Black Rutile woozily said as she slowly regained consciousness and quickly realized she was in the right place. "Eureka, I arrived just in time!"

"Just in time for what?" Steven asked before Black Rutile frantically grabbed his shoulders.

"Just in time for their return!" Black Rutile manically shouted. "It's been eons since we last saw them, but they found us! They're hungry! AND THEY'RE COMING!"

"Who's coming?" Greg nervously asked, shocked at Black Rutile's sudden burst of insanity before the megalomaniacal Rutile ominously turned to face him.

"The Snake People." Black Rutile muttered fearfully before the three heard a rustling in the bushes.

"Did someone say Snake People?!" Ronaldo Fryman cried as he burst from the bushes at the mere mention of Black Rutile's enemies. "I totally knew they were out there!"

"Ronaldo, what are you doing out here?" Steven asked Ronaldo, confused about whether he'd been hiding there the whole time.

"Searching for Bigfoot. What else would a hunter of the supernatural like me be doing in the great outdoors?" Ronaldo answered. "So anyways, what's this I hear about snake people?"

"Who's this idiot and what does he think he knows about the snake people?" Black Rutile asked harshly.

"Hey, I'll have you know that I somehow managed to accurately predict a good portion of Gem society lore!" Ronaldo argued with Black Rutile, utterly offended at this jab at his intelligence before Steven broke them up.

"Okay you two, break it up!" Steven said as he put the two's argument to rest. "We have something much bigger to focus on here. Apparently, all the Gems on Earth have gone missing, and now Black Rutile comes crashing to Earth rambling about snake people or something."

"My point still stands." Black Rutile said firmly. "What do you know about snake people, you fool?"

"I am so glad you asked!" Ronaldo smirked before presenting a briefcase full of information he gathered on the snake people. "Behold, the truth!" However, all Black Rutile saw was a bunch of news articles and other miscellaneous objects that seemed to her like she was talking to a complete nutcase. "Snake people, or sneople, control our government at the highest level. Look." Ronaldo then brought out a dollar bill sign while gesturing to the snake and diamond symbols. "The snake represents their hold on our country, while the diamond represents their underground mines. Or their sharp teeth! The details aren't important!"

"How does he function?" Black Rutile muttered in silent alarm as Ronaldo continued his explanation.

"However, it seems that the creatures you encountered may be invading from their home planet," Ronaldo stated. "Perhaps they were abducting other races from across the universe to fulfill their evil deeds, like maybe creating a super-diverse army to conquer the entire universe with!"

"Okay, Ronaldo, was it?" Black Rutile bluntly interrupted Ronaldo. "I'm just going to be frank with you. You're a complete idiot. I mean, snake people secretly controlling our government and your only evidence is but a scrap of currency?" She then snatched the dollar bill from Ronaldo's briefcase and ripped it to shreds. "I care little about this planet's history, but even I know this is all the claptrap ramblings of a lunatic!"

"No, my proof!" Ronaldo wailed while trying to collect what remains of the dollar he could find on the ground.

"However, I'll have to give you this." Black Rutile added. "Your description of the Snake People abducting races and people from across the universe is actually quite accurate as I've come here from Revanche 666 to tell Steven that the Snake People have abducted my minions, and they've no doubt done the same to the Crystal Gems."

"So what are you proposing?" Steven asked his archnemesis.

"I'm proposing, and I can't believe I'm saying this, we join forces against a shared enemy." Black Rutile declared, trying not to cringe in agony from making that declaration. "Steven, I urge you to assemble any remaining allies within this area and meet me in that little town of yours. The crazy theorist and I have an announcement to make."

"I can't believe I'm saying this too, but you have my word Black Rutile," Steven replied. "Wait, this isn't another excuse to plot your revenge on me, isn't it?"

"You have my word, little one." Black Rutile promised Steven, crossing her fingers behind her back as the two very reluctantly shook hands.

--

"Attention organic idiots of Beach City, heed my warnings!" Black Rutile commanded the townies' attention as they all gathered around her, Steven, and Ronaldo. "You may not trust me, but I am here today to give you all a warning. All Gems on Earth have been abducted by their ancient enemies, the Snake People!"

"That is right, the Sneople have finally come for us and they're stripping us of our defenses to make it easier for them to conquer!" Ronaldo added before getting a slap on the back of his head.

"No, you twit, they don't want to conquer us as far as I know." Black Rutile grumbled before her visor gave a demonstration. "The Snake People, as you should know, is a primarily gladiatorial race that has thrived on abducting beings from across the universe to fight in their twisted games. Their king is one of what are known as the Universal Lords, who are among the most powerful beings in the known universe who all lay claim to approximately 36.3% of it compared to the Diamonds conquering 63.7%. Any questions?" Black Rutie then saw someone raise their hand. "You there, all the way in the back?"

"Yeah, I got a question." Connie's voice called out as she walked through the crowd to meet with Steven and company. "Why are you here and how did you break out of prison?"

"It was because the Snake People came for Revanche 666 and abducted all the Gems imprisoned there, except for Black Rutile," Steven explained to Connie. "And now she wants our help."

"Wait, seriously?" Connie asked while she tilted her head in confusion. "Someone pinch me, I must be dreaming." Much to her annoyance, however, Black Rutile did exactly that. "Ow! When I said someone pinch me, I didn't mean literally!"

"Well, I'm sorry Mecha-lecha-chimichanga-habba-hooga-swagger, I don't get your human sayings!" Black Rutile replied, making Connie facepalm as Black Rutile didn't even come close to getting her last name right, almost like she was doing it to make her mad. "Anyways, they reside on the planet Serpentes in the Ophidian Nebula, which is unfortunately a couple of galaxies away. We're going to need a really good spaceship to survive a trip there, otherwise, it'll take ages to even reach the planet!"

"I believe I can help!" another voice said as he emerged from the crowd. To Steven's surprise, it was that strange police officer he met back in Empire City. This officer seemed all friendly whenever they'd cross paths, but Steven had a sneaking suspicion that there was more to him than he seemed. "Now, apologies for the sudden intrusion everyone, so allow me to introduce myself. You may know me as just the Officer, but that's just another name for the man I am underneath." The Officer then closed his eyes and began audibly straining as he slowly transformed from a human policeman into a large rat snake wearing a police uniform. "Ooh, transforming still kinda hurts sometimes."

"Oh, my, god!" Ronaldo gasped in utter surprise and delight. "YOU'RE A SNAKE PERSON, I KNEW IT! A REAL LIVE SNAKE PERSON RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, IN BEACH CITY, ON EARTH!"

"Snake Person? I see you're using those old-fashioned derogatory terms for our people." The Officer laughed and patted Ronaldo on the head. "We're actually called Slytherophidians, thank you very much. It's pretty easy to get mixed up since, well, we look like the reptiles of your planet. Anyways, y'all can call me Aescul."

"Wait, there really are snake people, I mean, Slytherophidians, on Earth?" Steven asked Aescul. "I thought Ronaldo was just making up crazy conspiracy theories."

"See, I told you all they were real!" Ronaldo declared proudly before turning to Aescul. "Now then, would you care to answer a couple hundred thousand questions I have about your people?"

"Okay, I'll only answer a few, my boy," Aescul replied. "Now fire away."

"Mister, you have no idea what you just unleashed," Steven said as Ronaldo began with his questions.

"First off, do you control our government at the highest level?" Ronaldo asked.

"Yes, and no. We have several hidden agents not only on this world but several other worlds as well." Aescul answered. "However, any one of them being in charge is quite rare, but not completely impossible."

"Care to list any examples?" Ronaldo responded.

"No." Aescul declined.

"Alright, next question." Ronaldo continued. "Do you put us mammals against each other in things such as elections, sports, or even message boards for anime?"

"What? No! We don't do any of that!" Aescul exclaimed. "If anything, you humans are already very good at having conflicts with each other!"

"Hurtful, but true," Ronaldo said.

"If anything, we prefer peace and order," Aescul added. "Now then, you get one more question kiddo, so make it count."

"One last thing, do you recognize these symbols on our currency?" Ronaldo asked before presenting what was left of the dollar bill that he still had.

"Oh, it looks like our homage to our insignia! Although, ours is a bit more different." Aescul declared as he revealed a near-perfect replica of the snake on the dollar sign. "My theory is that of our earliest scouts of this planet played a role in the foundation of this country. You know, your national animal was going to be either a rattlesnake or a bald eagle, and we all know what they went with. But as for the diamond, well, I think it might be because our king was an old friend of the Gem you all idolize."

"You mean Pink Diamond?" Steven asked. "Honestly, after all we've learned about her over the past few years, I'm honestly not surprised."

"And what about those earliest scouts?" Connie added with a question of her own.

"Oh yeah, that guy," Aescul replied awkwardly. "Last I checked, one of them went under the name Christopher Columbus or something and did some pretty messed up stuff to the natives of this land. We don't like to talk about him much, no offense."

"That's okay, we don't like to talk about him much either." Connie accepted the Slytherophidian's apology. "So now that we know what we're up against, why have they been spying on Steven lately?"

"That's because we've been watching Steven for quite a while now because my superiors have been scouting Gems to bring to our games," Aescul revealed. "This was their way of getting your attention, by snatching up every Gem you know and taking them to Serpentes so that you'll eventually come to rescue them. And now, you've just about taken the bait."

"Then I guess we have no other choice." Steven declared firmly. "We're going to Serpentes."

"Uh, hey, quick question," Greg asked. "How do we get there again?"

"Allow me to offer my help!" Aescul declared as he hailed his police car, which transformed into a spaceship large enough to fit him and his new passengers on their journey to Serpentes. "Seatbelts, everyone!"

"Please tell me this is going to be a normal, non-life-threatening adventure." Steven prayed as he, Black Rutile, Connie, Greg, Ronaldo, and Lion boarded the disguised cop's ship.

"With you? No way!" Black Rutile laughed as the people of Beach City waved Steven goodbye. "Now snakeman, make it so!"

"Don't have to tell me twice!" Aescul obeyed the Rutile's command before he prepared the ship for takeoff. "Now then, any last words before we leave Earth?"

"I got some," Steven said as he peered out the window to face Beach City below them. "Don't worry everyone, I'll bring the Gems home safe and sound! You have my word!"

"And I'll bring evidence that'll make me famous too!" Ronaldo added eagerly, making Steven wonder how he invited himself on the journey before deciding that he already knew.

"Okay, here goes nothing," Aescul said as he prepared to blast off. "Booster fire! Full power!" he yelled before the ship left Earth behind and took off for the great beyond on what was possibly Steven's greatest adventure yet.

--

Elsewhere in space, a large freighter was sailing gently toward a distant planet, filled with alien species from across the universe locked away in prison cells. A hapless buglike Moarchean was banging desperately against his cell bars, crying to be returned to his family. A humanoid cyborg man with gears for fear dressed in pirate attire carved tally marks on his cell wall with the sword he had in place of a hand. An immaculately dressed galactic rockstar tried calming his nerves by performing his over-the-top dance moves. A massive, tattooed giant stood chained to the wall. An angelic woman prayed to her people that she'd be safe wherever she went. The space heroine Sylvia Spectre tried desperately to escape her confinement only to be obstructed by the collar restraining her powers, while her cellmate Envyrno has long since accepted her fate. A group of Metals waited patiently for what fate would await them. A flying woman resembling a jester played a mournful tune on an invisible flute.

But the most notable prisoners in the freighter were the massive amounts of Gems kept away in specialized cells to restrain their powers. Chief among them, Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl stood resilient as they were face to face with Captain Boa of the Jormagundr Royal Family's personal guard. "We're almost there, Gems." Boa sneeringly announced to his prisoners. "Are you ready for the Contest?"

--

With that, the end begins here. What awaits Steven and the Crystal Gems on Serpentes? Are the royal family really out to get them, or are they more than they seem? Does Black Rutile have anything else planned once she reaches the Snake People? And where does that mysterious Lapidarist fit into all of this? All of these questions and more will be answered in the epic twelve-chapter finale to the Steven Universe: Alternate Future series.

[the-firebird69]

The staff of Castle is going to be correct Joe and it is some sort of code about our son and the a****** Tommy f is walking by our son into the mall and out of it right near him and his son saw him watching the second time so you missed the first and said no he didn't he's staring right at you and your name Michelle and you're doing this to people because you're stupid soon you're going to take a beating a massive beating cuz you let the max build up clothes and you're an idiot he said he couldn't help it they were hitting him and things like that and said yeah but you're going to take a beating and he is they have a huge army that is prepping to head underground to his ships and bases momentarily in his bases will fall and probably a couple hours and the clones will be engaged and all of his abuse is going to come back and haunt him and so he has Joe up for a Baker act and Big Joe does not want to go and he heard about it and he said he'd resist but he should not resist the police he should leave the area California might not be that great there's a lot of clones out there and you can't go to the East Coast so he's wondering what he can do and somebody said you could leave the facility and file a grievance and say that the employees are inciting you and he says I know who to talk to so he's going to he's trying to do that and he left the house and he's going to file a grievance and say that they are treating him inappropriately and they are here they're not African-American or even part and it is the Trump kids still and he's not really threatening them and you can file a case with the lawyer too and if they put you into the hospital you can sue them and he should do that because these guys need to be put in line and nobody stopping them and McDonald's can't really stop them in the max won't but together they could and the clones will try and do stuff but it'll heat it up and we need to stop this guy he's a pig that guy is a freaking moron and he is after people and he does it to Mac he doesn't know a bunch of people and he put Ken Baker into Castle and his own clothes put the idiot in there no but his own clothes are after him he needs to be stopped cold as soon he'll be out the thing in Egypt is going to happen quickly people will figure out why pretty soon the answer is in France at the Louvre and yeah somebody was moved and it's going to happen soon and he will be killed and then he will be killed fully in Los Angeles by Jason who finally figures it out now he knows what he's doing you can't stop him and Jason works with Garth on a lot of things and he did some preliminary stuff it's very hard work he can barely take the backlash from it if we mention any turns into a dick but he likes to be told that he did a good job and he did our son talked to him and he's worth talking to he says that's true they get along when they were little and people picked on them for that kind of thing. It's going along that way it's very tough here and her son goes through it too and he should not a bunch of wankers and it's a loser thing to do for Tommy f and the Max and they're heading the way until this road for to perdition and the foreigners keep riding and they make more and more clones and it's getting disgusting it's just going round and round

Thor Freya

Eventually these guys are going to take over cuz we're sitting back and watching these Max build up and Tommy f is a little late and we can't monitor even we can't get near it and we're reliant on them and their people and we're going to look like this retards trying to tell them what to do remotely and we'll probably get creamed

Wie chan lin

It's really excessive for us and the police and they're illusion was broken by the mohawk and they turned it all into high gear and it's true we're excluded still it's extremely violent there and it doesn't show that well and we're professionals okay if in the past we are the professionals who hit people and they don't come back and we do it a lot these people are brave little assholes but he knows about it but still he has professionals and it is a pain and he's going to turn it up way up and still he's having trouble and his brother did and has trouble and we don't know the status of that and these people could all be imps by comparison and he says it's not really a big leap and he couldn't let his brother get away with it and he's going to show people soon cuz you're doing all sorts of dumb s*** anyways that we think of that but great it says his castles going to come up and people are going to be afraid and they should be afraid and he's going to grow he has a plan he's going to panhandle LOL

Jet li

Olympus

[dearyallfrommatt]

DC produced a comic adaptation of the TV show which featured a lot of characters that for this reason or that couldn't be included in the show. Blue Beetle was one of them, along with Firestorm and Power Girl just off the top of my head. I remember reading some folks thought he was barred from the cartoon because of the Blue Beetle character on The Electric Company from PBS, but that's not so. Worse luck, he was free and clear to use.

Anyhow, Ted was featured in a couple of issues. One, he went up solo against the Gen. Eling version of the Hairy Man (this was after the Patriot Act episode that brought together the Seven Soldiers of Victory), and another featuring him and Booster Gold. It was classic Blue & Gold "Bwah-hah-hah" written by the late Kieth Giffen, author of those classic Justice League International stories.

You probably know this, but allow me to nerd out. The Ted Kord Beetle's adventures - along with, among others, the Question and Captain Atom - were published in the '60s & '70s by Charlton Comics, one of the many Number Threes that have come and gone. They went out of business and DC bought up the properties, introducing them to the universe (and readers) during the Crisis On Infinite Earths. Later, they provided readers with some of the best comics of the late '80s/early '90s. Seriously, check out Dennis O'Neil's Question run. Top notch.

Anyhow. Charlton didn't invent the character of the Blue Beetle, though, and he wasn't originally techno-wizard Ted Kord. The original Blue Beetle was one of the earliest costumed do-gooders, first appearing in 1939's Mystery Men Comics by Fox Publications. They were an interesting company, known for pushing the boundaries when it came to horror and sleaze.

As far as memorable characters go, they're best known for two of the silliest: The Bouncer and Stardust the Super Wizard. They also published Matt Baker, one of the few pre-WW2 African-American comic artists, and his "good girl" work with Phantom Girl acquired from Quality Comics (Plastic Man, The Blackhawks, etc.) and a take on Thor I know nothing about, but the rest was pretty much "rip off something popular and see what we can get away with."

Initially, Dan Garret was the son of a police officer slain in the line of duty. So he pulls a Bruce Wayne, runs around in a bulletproof costume, and takes a vitamin that makes him faster and stronger. Typical Golden Age stuff. He sort of did a Green Hornet/Phantom thing by marking his folks with a scarab-shaped whatzit and had the normal supporting cast (blonde reporter in love with the hero but scornful of the secret identity, comic sidekick, old guy, etc.).

He became a U.S. agent during World War 2 and his super vitamin started giving him real superpowers like flight and X-ray vision. Later, when superhero comics fell out of vogue, he became the host of a horror/crime anthology, not unlike Captain America did in the '50s. Still, Dan Garret was pretty popular. He had a radio serial produced by CBS that made him out more like the Shadow and a daily comic strip drawn by, among others, Jack Kirby (under a pseudonym).

After briefly being published by Holyoke Comics (no one of note apart from a Batman rip-off, Cat-Man & Kitten (yes, she's a she)), the character was picked up by then-young Charlton Comics in the '60s. They made some changes. This time around, Dan Garrett (they added an extra "t") was an archeologist who found a blue scarab on a dig. When saying the magic words "Kaji Dha!" Garrett was transformed into the Blue Beetle, with super strength, flight, X-ray vision, the ability to shoot energy beams, and whatever the story called for.

The stories were actually pretty camp, even for '60s comics, but Dan was replaced in 1966 by Ted Kord. I don't know how the story's been changed, but Ted was a favorite student of Dan (even though Ted's an engineer and, well, comic books, I guess), and answers a call for help. He finds his teacher mortally wounded and vows to take up his mantle. However, he can never make the scarab work, so he turns his engineering genius into a weapon against crime. He was created by Steve Ditko, so bonus points there.

Dan's made a couple of background appearances in the DCU and was once brought back to life by the scarab to fight his successor. Ted Kord's been a favorite since I was a kid and I fell in love with Jaime Reyes from the get-go, though I didn't care as much for the Blue Beetle series where Ted tries to play the mentor role for Jaime. I don't like it when comics portray Ted as considered a loser among the rest of the heroes, though I know continuity's been flip-flopped a couple of times since he went down in the most badass way possible.

In a world where gods clash and men can run faster than the speed of light, a guy who dresses like a bug and uses a gun that's expressly meant not to kill has the biggest balls in the DC universe. Plus, he's probably the only billionaire superhero who isn't carrying a boatload of baggage.

Kaji Dha!

Heroes & Villains The DC Animated Universe - Paper Cut-Out Portraits and Profiles

Elseworlds Addendum

Blue Beetle / Ted Kord

A brilliant industrialist and designer, Ted Kord decided to use his acumen for mechanical engineering to fight crime as the masked vigilante known as The Blue Beetle.  Along with a levitating hover-car aptly named ‘The Bug,’ Kord devised numerous non-lethal crime-fighting weapons.  This ranged from an incapacitating strobe-light gun to bug-shaped flying surveillance drones. 

Although Ted had inherited the extraterrestrial scarab from the original Blue Beetle, the scarab never bonded with him and he remained unaware of the awesome powers this item could bestow.  The scarab ultimately ended up bonding with young Jaime Reyes who was able to unlock the full potential of the alien weapon and operated as the third Blue Beetle.  

The Blue Beetle was not included in the original DCAU due to licensing issues.  The production company was unaware of whether or not they owned the intellectual property rights to produce cartoons and toys based on the character and hence he was left out.  Which is a true shame in that an episode dedicated to the madcap high-jinks of Blue Beetle partnering up with his best buddy, Booster Gold, could have been a highlight of the series.   

[thors-soft-cheeks]

Thor, what tips do you have for some people who are stuck at home and trying to learn how to bake for the first time?

Hi sweetie! It really depends on whatever is available of course, but soft rolls generally won’t disappoint. All you need is flour, yeast (or if you are ambitious, a sourdough starter you made earlier), a little butter, milk and sugar and you can follow this recipe for soft rolls:

https://natashaskitchen.com/soft-dinner-rolls-recipe/ 

You can make as many as you want, and you can freeze them! Happy baking! 🍞

[super-marvel-dc]

Could you please do one where avengers are having a mini bake off like gbbo, where Nat, Bruce, Thor, Y/N and Wanda are the judges and Bucky, Steve, Sam and Tony are the contestants? And can it please be based off Michael Sheen in the Great British bake off (the potato peeler moment, maybe Steve does what Micheal does with the peeler?) just basically absolute chaos with Bucky x y/n? Is this too specific?

[I'm so sorry, I have never watched the Great British Bake Off 😬 BUT I did look up some episodes to see if I can get an idea of it! I hope this is kind of what you wanted. Also, I couldn't find the potato peeler thing, so i made up my own, lol. I'm also sorry this took forever to write! I was doing like 50 things at once]

Y/N, to Steve, Sam, Bucky and Tony: Bakers listen up! Today we are having a bake off and you four are going to make up something you think we would like.

Steve: Bu- But we don't know how to make a full meal... That you would like...

Wanda: Well, we'll be the judge of that *giggles and elbows Thor* I've always wanted to say that.

Thor: Ah, yes lady Wanda! That was a brilliant joke!

Natasha: Anyway. As Y/N was saying, we are going to be serving this for *your favorite holiday* so make sure it's good.

Sam, Steve, Bucky and Tony: *Looks at each other nervously*

Bruce: Let's get started in three, two, one! Go!

*A few moments later*

Y/N, to Natasha: *Whispers* This is already a disaster.

Natasha: You're telling me. I mean Steve lived by himself for a long time, you'd think he'd at least know how to cook potatoes.

Steve, peeling potatoes: *Talking to himself* Wait, do I use a knife or this peely thingy mcbob!?

Tony, to Steve: You use the peeler. Even I know that and I don't cook.

Y/N, Natasha, Wanda and Bruce from the table: Less talking, more cooking!

Bucky: WHERE'S THE CUTTING KNIFE!?

Tony: I DON'T KNOW!

Bucky: WELL IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHY DID YOU ANSWER!?

Sam, doing everything amazingly: Hehe, I'm definitely winning this thing. My mama didn't raise no baby. She raised a man!

Bucky: No one asked you bird brain.

Sam: Shut up tin can.

Y/N: HEY! Back to cooking or no ice cream for either one of yous.

Sam and Bucky: Yes, Y/N.

Natasha: You have to teach me that.

Steve: Ok, ok, I figured out how to peel the potatoes!

Bruce: We're never gonna eat.

Thor, to Bruce: Here, have a Pop-Tart!

Bruce: Thanks buddy.

Steve: THERE'S POTATOES EVERYWHERE!

Natasha: Great, now he's gonna dream about potatoes.

Steve: I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH BUTTER GOES INTO THEM!

Tony: *Adding tequila to his potatoes and chicken* Da, da, da, da, da, da, da TEQUILA!

Sam: Hmmm, Hmmm, Hmmm. One cup of olive oil. Maybe a pinch of salt. Ah, perfect!

Steve: Natasha? Can't you help me?

Natasha: Nope!

Bucky: Come on Steve, you got this. You don't see me asking Y/N for help.

Steve: HOW MUCH BUTTER DO I USE!?

Steve: I'll just use four cups.

Thor: Uh, is that ok?

Wanda: No. No it is not.

*A few disastrous hours later*

*Y/N, Wanda and Natasha are laying on top of each other and Bruce and Thor are playing chess*

Sam, Bucky, Steve and Tony: Done!

Y/N, Wanda, Natasha, Bruce and Thor: Thank Goodness!

*All the guys putting their meals on the table*

Steve: *Puts his meal on table* Uh, here ya go.

Y/N: Is this potatoes or soup?

Steve: Potatoes...

Steve: I think.

Natasha: *Sarcastically* This is the lovely chef I married.

Bucky: *Puts his meal on the table*

Y/N: Bucky, honey, what is that? *Points to the burnt meatloaf*

Bucky: It was meatloaf.

Bruce: More like meat-don't! *Starts laughing*

Thor: Ohhh, burn! *High fives bruce*

Tony: *Whispers* Like that meatloaf.

Bucky: *Glares at Tony*

Tony: *Puts his meal on the table*

Wanda: Well, this don't look too bad *takes a bite and starts coughing* Good Lord Tony! How much tequila did you put in this!?

Tony: Uh, the whole bottle?

Thor: This is nothing! *Finishes the whole chicken*

Y/N: Ok, Sam, you're up. Hopefully you don't kill us.

Sam: *Smirking* I think I did pretty good if I say so myself.

Y/N: *Takes a bite* Mmm! This is amazing Sam!

Wanda: Let me try. Wow! This is great!

Thor and Bruce: Can we have some?

Natasha, Wanda and Y/N: No!

*Later that night*

Bucky, to Steve: Who knew Sam was a good cook.

Steve: Yeah.

Tony: Well at least we know why Bruce, Sam, Y/N, Wanda and Natasha all cook for the holidays.

Steve: What about Thor?

Tony: He just eats Pop-Tarts and sleeps most of the day.

Bucky and Steve: Ohhhh.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Whisked Away 2

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Part of the Sweet and Spicy AU

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You get a job at a bakery but your new boss only adds to your work

Character: chubby!baker!Thor

Please comment and reblog if it’s not too much. I always love getting to chat about these stories and hearing all your ideas! You all are wonderful and loved.

Delaney wishes you good luck as you go. Your heart is fluttery with nerves. It’s been a while since you actually had an interview. These days, most send you a link where you record yourself answering generalised questions. You never do well at those. In fact, you’d only ever had one job.  

You worked at a cafe in high school and after you went and got your culinary schooling done, you were promoted. It held you through the first few years of your twenties until Delaney got sick and you had to move to the city for her treatment. Your squirreled away savings got you the apartment and her stipend helped, but you’re running dry on credit. 

You need this. Desperately. But you can’t show that if you want it. You have to play it cool. Be a professional. 

You catch a streetcar down to the main row and check your phone. You’re well ahead of time. Good. You’ve never been to this particular place. You don’t go out much if it isn’t to the grocery store or the pharmacy. Delaney stopped wanting to go outside a while back. You try to encourage her but you can tell it only makes her feel worse. 

You follow the map directions on the app and stop before the cafe windows. They’re slightly tinted with curling golden calligraphy painted across them; Golden Crust. The facade is brown and yellow brick and there are flower boxes just below the windows. Behind the glass, loaves of bread lines a shelf, on display to tempt passerbys. 

The door is wide and thick and painted red. You push inside and pause to look around. The long counter is made of dark wood with clear glass cases on top containing dozens of colourful and sugary desserts. Behind the counter, the walls are lined with shelves; some ingredients, some with unfolded boxes, and more bread and packaged biscuits to go. It’s all finely organized. 

Lights hang above with brass shades, lending a low hue to the shop. Several customers wait in queue as two employees work tills at opposite ends of the counter. You don’t know whether you should join the wait or go ahead and let them know that you’re there to see Thor for an interview. That was his name, right? 

You look at your phone again. You have time. You wouldn’t want to be rude. You adjust your bag and stand at the end of the line. The women ahead of you marvel at the pristine mini white chocolate cakes with dark candied cherries on top as another whispers about cheesecake being devilish. Your own eyes wander gluttonously to the assortment. 

You peel away your gaze and look down at yourself. You put together the best you could; a striped blouse, navy blue on white, and a pair of straight-legged pants. They’re a bit outdated but professional at a glance. You hope no one notices the scuff on your right toe. 

You get to the front of the line and step up. The young girl behind the till asks what you’d like. You give an apologetic smile, “um, actually, I’ve got an interview.” 

“Ah, yes, another one for Thor,” she chimes, “well, you just come with me.” 

She’s young. Still a teenager. Her and the other cashier look to be barely graduated if that. 

She walks toward the end of the counter and she beckons you over, “I’m Thrud,” she pulls back the short little door for you to step through, “that’s Nari,” she gestures to the dark-haired worker at the other till. He’s too busy taking orders to notice. 

You introduce yourself as she takes you around to a doorway, “I think he’s just doing these in the kitchen. Last one ended early so...” she talks brightly as she bounds ahead of you like a happy puppy, “dad?” She calls as she enters the large kitchen. “Dad? I’ve got the next appointment.” 

Your anxiety spikes. You’re not the first or the last. The competition deflates your hopes even further. 

“Eh?” A deep grunt comes as head pops up from the other side of the large marble island. The man is so large his head hits one of the pans dangling from the ceiling rack. He rubs his brow and hisses, “sorry, I was just looking for my pen.” 

Thrud laughs as she crosses her arms. You notice the golden pen tucked behind his ear. She raises a hand, keeping her other arm folded, as she taps her temple. His brows arch and he feels around his wave locks and fishes out the pen. 

“Right,” he gives a sheepish look and wiggles it in triumph. 

“Anyhoo,” Thrud trills, “this is her.” 

“Thank you, Thrud,” he drones back. 

“Mhmm,” she turns and smiles at you again before she goes. 

“Uh,” you hesitate, unsure how to begin, “er,” you introduce yourself, once more “I have a resume on hand--” 

“No need,” he waves you off, “come, I try to keep these things straight to the point.” 

You near him and rest your hand on your bag, chewing your lip. 

“Wash your hands,” he directs you towards the sink, “you may put your things there.” He points to the empty counter on the other side of the deep metal sink. You put your bag there and scour your hands deliberately, taking your time as you scrub nails, knuckles, palms, every bit. You dry off on the towel he offers as you face him. 

“Here,” he gives you and apron, “would want you to make a mess. 

You tie on the apron as he turns and grabs a tray. There are half a dozen cookies on the sheet, some empty piping bags, nozzles, a bowl of icing and small tubes of food dye. You look between him and the cookies. 

“You may choose the design. You will decorate and I will ask questions, does that work for you?” 

“Um, sure,” you answer. It’s unexpected. “All six?” 

“All six,” he confirms and crosses his arms, making himself even broader. He is not only tall, but wide, and his apron does little to conceal his indulgence in sweets that gathers around his middle. 

“Okay,” you accept the challenge meekly. 

You step up to the marble island and take a moment. You twiddle your fingers nervously as you think. You don’t know what to do. You don’t want to go to simple. 

“Take your time, I’ll ask some questions and you can begin whenever you’re ready,” he assures, “so, you’re availability, it is flexibly? Our open ours are eight to six, but you are available on weekends?” 

“Yes,” you say as you set an idea in your head and read for the icing. You stir it with the wooden spoon, testing its consistency. “I have open availability most days.” 

“Most days?” He echoes. 

“Um, yes, I may have an appointment now and again.” 

“Oh, appointment?” 

“For my sister,” you explain, “but it wouldn’t get in the way, I'm sure.” 

You cringe. You’re already making yourself feel bad. 

“And so, you’ve had one previous role, what was included in that?” he asks. 

Only one... that can’t be good on paper. 

“I worked at a cafe. I was a barista for the first two years, then I was promoted to baker, and ended as assistant manager at the branch,” you explain as you fill one of the piping pages and fit the appropriate tip, “but I completed by culinary diploma while I was there.” 

“And after? What did you do? I see you’ve been out of work.” 

You’re quite as you lean over the cookies and start on the first one. Your idea is simple in premise but not in execution. Delaney loves to do cross-stitches, so that’s what you’ll do. First, the white grid and the lacing along the edges, then you’ll fill in the squares with all different colours to make the illusion of stitches. 

“I’ve been a caretaker to my sister,” you say quietly, “we only just moved here last year so I haven’t found much.” 

“And you would be able to work fulltime?” He asks. 

“Yes, she’s... she’s doing better now. I can do it,” you assure him as you keep your eyes on your precise lines. 

He’s quiet. You’re sweating. You just concentrate on the work. Maybe your answers aren’t the best but you hope your work is. You finish the crosshatching and look up. You find him watching your hands intently. As you pause, his blue eyes meet yours. He gives a smile. 

“Ha,” he scoffs, “my hands are too big.” He shows his thick fingers, “I can’t quiet get my lines that tight.” 

You nod and bow your head again. You’re not even done the first cookie. You have six to prove yourself. Six cookies to seal your fate. 

[breezeinmonochromenight]

Thank you for answering my Metal Gear question. I read both articles that you posted and got a lot of good information from them. The term “stunt casting” was new to me and I wonder if that’s where Director Kojima was going? It seems since MGS3 he wanted a movie star to play Snake, but it also makes me wonder why continue to keep original cast from previous MGS games for MGSV? Thanks again for your help it’s definitely given me a lot to think about.

It’s no problem! (:

And fwiw stunt casting isn’t new (Anthony Hopkins in Thor, Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman in TDK, and Danny DeVito in Always Sunny to name a few recent ones), but I haven’t heard it really applied video games until the last ~5yrs or so save for like… the insane voice cast in Kingdom Hearts.

I can see where MGSV could be considered stunt casting (Kiefer Sutherland as VB/BB always felt random to me, bringing in Troy Baker for Ocelot* in his 40’s had to be pricey, etc.), but idk if I’d consider all of Kojima’s choices stunt casting. He genuinely seems to be friends with a lot of these people but considers them to be muses to some degree too. Like… I just don’t think he’d reshoot whole scenes with Mads just to include him smoking if his choices were just stunt casting lol. That’s just my two cents, tho.

As to why only some characters get replaced: there’s budget constraints to think about. Real actors are going to get real expensive, fast. And if you’re already over budget (and delayed!) like MGSV was, going through a messy fallout like Konami and Kojima had, it’d be wise to just retain some of old voices. Plus, Robin Atkin Downes (Kaz) was already a good choice, and Tara Strong (Paz) is a hugely popular voice actress. Don’t fix it if it ain’t broke. It’s cheaper lol.

(*We’ve only had Ocelot as a ~20 year old in MGS3 and Ocelot in his 60’s and onward in MGS1/2/4. It does makes sense to hire a new voice actor to play the 40-something version of the character regardless of notoriety.)

[the-firebird69]

Watch "Immortan Joe Makes His Speech - Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) - Immortan Joe Running Citadel" on YouTube

And there are a few more things they think that it's Dave and company and they can't figure it out but their other Giants are a bit bigger so they're trying to find me and they're looking at him real close and the answers are kind of odd ubiquitous but we're suspects they say so we don't trust that he's going to get him anything and he's under massive attack and most likely that's one of the reasons the other is because of what we're talking about but the real reason if they won't stop building the shields to oppress them and everyone else

Hera

What's true is they might turn around and try and blame us and we need to find out who has DNA samples

Zues

I have gone through this before and I do know who to go after

Jen Equiz

We are helping and we know what you're saying they're pain the ass and we don't need that, make me have planned it and to go after you and her but they discounted us completely which is odd so he thinks it's Dave and we're pissed off because it keeps on blaming you as an act and we're going after him for it and sitting there threatening you like this baby boy next door that's too much of it and yeah lots of people are going to blame you and her and they're looking now. And the reason is there could be ships out there that are gigantic and the ship that he Martin Joe is on top of and he's inside a skull by the way of the enemy of Dave and the clans and it's a Mac skull, he's a famous giant that finally fell and it's Goliath. The ship might be who knows 500,000 miles long and 20,000 miles wide or 100,000 miles wide they don't know they could be gigantic enormous and they have yet to do anything so sit here and sputter Baker they're nasty people and we're going to back you up and they're going to be going nuts they can't believe what they're finding here some people have scans and they will get killed for knowing

Thor Freya

Olympus

We're finding impossible to get along with people now it's going to be harder I need to ask for troops in here 10 times the amount and everyone we need to spies and new water Ariana are on it and have information

Hera they say they're going to fix the verbiage and we believe them

We have a lot of information and it's pertinent and the situation is real and we're not fooling anybody if we say it's not so let's get going we have a lot of work to do

Nuada Arrianna

Olympus

[lemonpeter]

Heaven On Earth

“Alpha Peter, Omega Tony, post Endgame (Tony lives) feelings realisation and smut if it fits”

My gift for @thequeenoffish for @starkerfestivals Holiday gift exchange 💕 I hope you enjoy, happy holidays 💕your prompts were absolutely incredible and this was so much fun to write!

Warnings: a/b/o, alpha Peter, omega Tony, post endgame, Peter is aged up slightly (18/19), coming to grip with feelings, smut near the end (including knotting), talks of breeding

5.2K words (or to read it on ao3)

————

It had been nine days since the battle at the compound. Nine days since Tony snapped Thanos and his army away.

Nine days since he accepted his own death.

But something unexpected happened. And he was still there. Still living, breathing.

Every night he went to sleep convinced that it wasn’t real. He was in some strange afterlife that just reflected what could have happened.

He almost convinced himself a couple times that it could have been heaven. Because Peter was there with him.

Of course, there were others too that came in and out. Rhodey, Pepper with Morgan, Thor...but Peter was the one that stayed.

It was also Peter that helped him believe that he wasn’t actually dead.

———

Two more weeks passed. Peter continued to stay right by his side. He barely left Tony alone. Not that the omega minded.

Tony chalked it up to paranoia that something would happen. Alphas were prone to that kind of thing. Especially with someone who was part of their pack.

Not that he just assumed that Peter thought of him like that. But he felt that way. He wondered if Peter did too.

But he gradually started feeling better. He was able to get around more, do things for himself.

The worst part of bed rest for the omega was the fact that he couldn’t do much of anything for himself. He absolutely despised that. So as soon as he was able to be on his feet again, he was.

Peter tried to caution him against it, doing his best to convince Tony that he still needed to be careful.

But Tony was nothing if not stubborn, so he was going to do whatever he wanted to do. And that was to move around and do things for himself.

“Tony,” Peter said warily, watching the omega stroll around the kitchen.

“What? I want to make breakfast. You’ve taken care of me all this time now, let me do something for you.”

The alpha looked like he wanted to carry him back to bed. But, to his credit, he just sat on a stool at the counter and watched.

The omelette that he ended up with was slightly charred on one side and almost undercooked on the other. But Peter ate it anyway, burned bits and all.

Tony beamed as he watched, making his own breakfast after.

Once it was cooked (more or less) he sat on the seat next to Peter. As he took the first bite and grimaced, he looked to the alpha. “Why did you eat this?”

“Because you made it for me,” Peter said simply.

The reply itself made sense, but Tony still couldn’t grasp why the alpha would subject himself to eating something so bad.

But Peter did a lot of things that Tony didn’t quite understand.

“Alright,” Peter started. “You had your time up, it’s time for you to get back to bed now.”

A whine left Tony before he could stop it. “Come on, Peter. I’ve been in bed for so long, I want to be up just a little longer.”

He was aware that he sounded like a child. But that didn’t make him stop. He felt like he deserved a little tantrum and whining.

The alpha sighed softly. “Tony, please. You’re still supposed to be resting. I don’t want you to be feeling worse instead of better because I let you wander. Your legs have to be hurting.”

They did. He wouldn’t admit it, though. “I’m fine. I want to go to the garage and work some….”

“Nope. You need to get back in bed. What can I do to make you agree?”

“Absolutely nothing.”

Peter sighed heavily. “If I set up a movie and stay in the room with you will you try to rest?”

Tony watched him, glaring a little. “Fine. But only for an hour. Then I get to be back up. Because I’m an adult and I can take care of myself.”

The alpha laughed a little. “Oh, you can? You’re the one notorious for running yourself into the ground. Which is why I’m here in the first place.”

Yeah, that was about right. But the omega was mildly offended by it. “You know what? I changed my mind. I’m not going to rest.”

Peter sighed, standing up and easily picking the omega up. “Right.”

“Hey! Put me down, this is so humiliating.”

“We’re alone. What’s humiliating? What would be humiliating would be when I have to call the hospital because I didn’t make you rest and you collapse into a table or something in your workshop and get hurt. And then I’ll video you specifically to say I told you so. That would be humiliating.”

Brows furrowed and the omega opened his mouth to let Peter know just how rude that was. But before he knew it he was being set down in his bed. And his body let him know just how sore it had been from moving around.

Maybe some rest wouldn’t be such a bad idea….

Tony begrudgingly relaxed into the bedding, sitting up against some pillows and watching the tv as Peter turned a movie on.

The alpha sat in a chair next to the bed, keeping an eye on Tony. “Now. Try to rest, let yourself relax. Please.”

The older man just watched the movie, not even acknowledging the alpha saying anything.

Peter rolled his eyes, smiling a little to himself. “Okay. Don’t talk to me.”

Tony glanced to him once he was sure the alpha looked away, an odd fluttery feeling beginning in his stomach.

Something had started that was more than just admiration for the other man. And the omega knew that he would need to put a stop to it immediately.

———

Pepper didn’t visit too often.

They both needed their space, emotionally distancing themselves.

The split had been mutual, they both agreed that something always felt off and Tony’s near-death experience had made him realize that he loved Pepper, but she wasn’t who he was going to spend the rest of his life with. And she agreed.

So she hadn’t been around much other than occasionally checking in. And bringing Morgan to see her dad. Which was the reason for the meeting today.

Although Morgan quickly seemed to be more into playing baker with Peter than hanging out with Tony. So the omega ended up in the living room, sitting across from his ex wife.

“How have you been?” He asked dryly, not looking at her as he picked at a loose thread on the couch.

“I’ve been...good. A bit worried about you, but Peter seems to have you handled. Somehow.” The woman laughed softly. “Morgan and I are settling into the new place. It’s nice. Thank you for that, by the way.”

“No problem. I like knowing you two are somewhere nice.”

Pepper smiled a little, nodding. Then she glanced into the kitchen for a moment before leaning in a little. “So...how are you doing?”

Tony glanced up, looking at her for a moment. He wasn’t really sure how to answer. His condition varied all the time, physical, emotional, what have you.

But he found that “I’ve been good,” left his mouth easily. And it didn’t feel like a lie.

Sure, he was a bit of a mess. Still working on the function in his left arm, adjusting to the partial blindness, dealing with every side effect of using the stones.

But...as a whole, he knew that he really was good.

“And how much of that has to do with a certain caretaker?” Pepper asked slyly, voice lowered.

The omega looked at her, eyes narrowed slightly. “Pepper, don’t.”

“Tony. Come on. Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. He’s been living with you for weeks now. His scent is all over you and I’m not sure what that’s about. And I have no idea what you two do here alone all day and I’m not sure I want to.”

“We haven’t done anything, Pepper. His scent is on me because we’re around each other all the time.” And because the alpha liked scenting him when he started getting anxious. “He has been good to me. But we’re not...like that. At all.”

“Right.” The alpha looked at him, eyes slowly looking over him. “Has he been feeding you? I know he’s been taking care of you but I also know you’re too stubborn for your own good. Is he cooking or are you?”

“We both do. Mostly him. But he’s helping me,” Tony told her.

“You’re living together and letting him help you cook and all and I’m not supposed to believe something is there?”

The omega made an offended noise. “You set me up. You knew I’d answer in a way that would make you sound right!”

Pepper laughed, watching him. “Because I know I am right. Tony, don’t lie to yourself. I see how you’ve looked at him. I see how much better you’re doing since he’s been with you.”

He didn’t want to admit to anything. Not to her, not to himself. He couldn’t have anything with the alpha. Peter wouldn’t look at him that way. And he would never want to be around Tony ever again if he proposed anything.

“Pepper, just...let’s drop it. He can probably hear you.”

The alpha watched him, eyebrow raised. “Uh huh. Whatever, Tony. Deny it. Do what you must. But you know I’m always right.”

“Maybe. I wouldn’t say always-“

“I would.” She chuckled, standing up and brushing herself off. “It’s probably about time to get home. Where did Morgan end up….”

As if on cue, a flour dusted Morgan and Peter emerged from the kitchen.

“The cookies are almost done!” The little girl announced. “We gotta stay until they’re cool so we can take them home.”

“What if I wanna keep some, Mo?” Peter asked, amused. “I helped too.” He actually did most of the work. But she liked feeling like she was in charge.

“Fine. You can have….” she counted on her fingers. “Three. One for you, one for daddy, one for...two for you.”

“How many did you guys make, Peter?” Pepper asked the younger alpha.

Peter hummed, thinking. “I think it made just under two dozen. Twenty, I think.”

“Then how about this, Morgan? We can leave ten here and ten can come with us. That way it’s even.”

The girl thought about this for a moment before nodding. “Okay. Daddy and Peter get more.”

“There you go,” Tony murmured. “Did you have fun baking?”

“I did! He let me do most of it, you don’t even let me crack the eggs!”

Peter coughed. “About that- sorry if there are a couple pieces of shell. I tried to pick them out.”

Tony snorted. “Okay, thanks for the heads up.”

The timer on the oven went off and Peter went back into the kitchen, leaving the other three.

“Daddy?”

“Yeah, Mo?”

Morgan smiled up at him sweetly and he instantly knew that she was plotting something.

“Are you gonna marry Peter?”

Tony choked on air, holding his chest and needing to take a moment to calm down after the sudden question. Once he was breathing again, he started to answer. “Uh…no. Why? Where’s this coming from?”

“He talks about you like mommy used to,” Morgan informed him. “And he lives where we used to.”

Pepper winced a little, but didn’t interject. It was a fair observation. Even if a bit blunt.

“He’s just helping me while I recover,” Tony told her, leaning down onto one knee to kiss her forehead. “Because right now I need a little help. And he’s a good friend.”

“That’s stupid. He likes you.”

“Morgan, don’t say stupid,” Pepper chided. “Let’s go see if Peter needs any more help….” She led their daughter away, leaving Tony in the living room.

The omega sighed softly, rubbing a hand over his face.

He knew Pepper was right. He just wouldn’t tell her that.

There were definitely feelings more than just platonic for Peter.

So that just meant he hoped that Morgan was right about the alpha feeling the same way.

———

Tony had no idea how to even approach the subject. No matter how he thought about it, there was always some kind of way it could go wrong. And he told himself that he wouldn’t say anything until he found the perfect solution.

Of course, he knew that it was impossible. But that was how he justified continuing to put it off.

Peter stayed as sweet and attentive as ever, continuing to help Tony in whatever he needed.

A week passed since Pepper and Morgan visited and Tony kept trying to deny what his daughter had told him. There was no way that Peter liked him in more than a friendly way. He was too old, damaged, Peter had seen him way too vulnerable.

But every time Tony let himself doubt it, it was like Peter could read his mind and proved Morgan’s words right.

The younger man did everything it seemed like a partner would.

Peter cooked meals and sometimes Tony helped, he cleaned up around the cabin, he made sure Tony was completing various independent tasks throughout the day. He gave the omega all the attention and affection that he needed.

Tony really wanted to believe that Peter was just an affectionate person. He was doing everything in a friendly manner.

But once the omega got the confidence to fit some of the alpha’s clothes into his nest, Peter noticed but didn’t say anything. He didn’t make anything of it. He just asked if Tony would want anything else. He snuggled with Tony on the couch when he complained about being cold or touch starved.

It seemed like everything that Peter did...pointed in the direction of ‘this is more than friends.’

But Tony couldn’t understand why. Peter deserved so much better than him. But even with all the time he spent at the cabin, he’d never once mentioned a partner or potential partner. He’d not had anyone over despite Tony telling him it was alright.

It was like he was completely content with Tony. Which the omega himself just couldn’t understand.

He thought about it constantly. Then the thoughts bled over into how he would bring it up. And he just couldn’t get a grasp on any of it.

The more time he spent with Peter, the more sure he was. But less confident.

Even sitting across from each other at dinner, feasting on a wonderful pasta dish that the alpha made, Tony couldn’t quite focus.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Peter joked lightly, setting his fork down. “You’re so quiet. This isn’t like you.”

The omega looked up. “Oh, sorry. Yeah. Not thinking about much, just...tired,” he lied.

Peter frowned. “Is something bothering you? Your arm? Any sort of pain?”

“No, no, don’t worry. I’m not hurting. Really. Just probably should have taken a nap or something today. But I’m okay. Really.”

The alpha didn’t look convinced, nervously picking his fork back up to continue eating. “Tony...you can tell me if something is wrong. It’s what I’m here for.”

“I know. I know, Pete. It’s okay. This isn’t really something you can help with, though.”

Peter whined softly, nodding. “I’m sorry….” He chewed his lip, thinking. “Maybe a warm bath would be nice? I could run that for you after dinner, you could relax and it would be easier to sleep.”

Tony’s mind was flooded with pictures of Peter joining him in the tub. Not helpful. “Uh...maybe. That sounds like it would be nice, it might be good. Thank you.”

The alpha nodded. “Anything to help you, omega.”

Shit, he hadn’t meant to say that. “I mean- Tony. Sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” His cheeks flushed a dark pink and he stared down at his plate.

The omega watched him, a bit taken by surprise. “It’s...it’s okay. Accidents happen and all. Not a big deal.”

But it was a big deal. Something powerful in him stirred when he heard the alpha call him by his presentation. He definitely needed to hear that again.

“But it’s okay,” Tony found himself blurting out. “I mean, if you want to call me that.” What was he saying?

“But isn’t that...only for...yknow.”

“Mates? I mean, if you want to look at it traditionally. But nowadays does that stuff even matter?” The omega rambled, shoving a forkful of pasta into his mouth to shut himself up.

Peter watched him, still blushing.

He looked so pretty, Tony couldn’t help but think.

“I just don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea or anything,” the alpha said softly.

Oh no, there it was. The inevitable rejection. Tony braced himself for what was bound to come next.

“Like...I don’t want anyone to think I’m taking advantage of you or anything. Since I’ve been helping you and all. I wouldn’t want anyone to think it was anything like that. You wouldn’t...want anything.”

Tony looked at him, taking in the words for a moment. “Huh?”

“I mean, if people heard me call you that then they might think it’s some sort of weird thing where I’m like...taking advantage of you being vulnerable. Or something. And since you wouldn’t want anything with me in the first place it would be extra...weird.”

“Hold on, take it back,” Tony started. “First of all, I could totally kick your ass if you tried anything.” He knew that definitely wasn’t true. “Second-“ he was definitely going to regret saying it. “Who said I wouldn’t want anything with you?”

The alpha watched him, ducking his head slightly. “No one...it’s just that- I mean, everyone seems to think we have this father-son relationship thing. I thought you did too. And I’m barely an adult, you wouldn’t want something with an inexperienced alpha- the list goes on and on.”

“You are an adult, so don’t make me feel weirder about this whole thing. But...huh? Do people really think we have that kind of relationship?”

“You mean you don’t?” Peter questioned softly.

Tony didn’t miss the hint of hope in his voice. “I don’t. Never have. We’re just...I mean, at first it was just the mentor/mentee thing when you were in school. But now we’re just friends, right?”

“Oh,” Peter breathed. Then he seemed to backtrack. “Wait, what did you mean about feeling weirder?”

“Maybe we should finish dinner first-“

“There’s nothing on your plate, Tony,” Peter pointed out.

“...right. Living room?” The omega suggested, slowly standing and taking his dish to the sink.

Peter did the same, eyes staying on him. “Yeah.”

Both of them got to the other room quickly but tried not to look like they were too eager.

They both sat on the couch on opposite sides, watching each other. It took a moment for them to actually start talking.

“So what does this-“

“Did you really-“

They started at the same time. Then they both laughed.

“You start,” Tony offered.

“Thank you,” Peter murmured. “What...what does any of this mean? For us?”

“I mean...okay, I’m not the best at reading feelings and all so just go ahead and tell me what you’re thinking here. No fear.”

The alpha glanced away. “I, uh...I really like you. I have for a long time? I just didn’t really think I had even a fraction of a chance with you.”

Tony felt like he had the wind knocked out of him. He smiled a little, trying not to give away just how happy that made him. “Alright, that’s cool. You were wrong about the chance thing, obviously.”

“So you like me too?”

“Kid-“ he stopped himself. “Sorry. Habit. Peter. I’m too old for silly crushes and all that. But...yeah. I can definitely see myself with you. I just don’t want you to get involved without knowing how much I’m thinking here.”

“What do you mean?” The alpha asked curiously.

Tony took a deep breath. Time to dive all in, he figured. “I’m not exactly a young omega. I thought Pepper was going to be my mate for life. But we didn’t even bond, there was just always something off. I’m looking for that life-mate now. I’m not looking for any short-term relationship. And I don’t want to trap you in anything since you’re so young.”

“So if we were together,” Peter started, eyes darting around like he could see his thought process. “You’d want to...to bond?”

He caught the way that Peter’s eyes darkened slightly at the question. “What, do you like that idea?” He asked.

The alpha bit his lip, nodding. “I want to be your alpha. I’ve thought so much about bonding with you...breeding you….” he admitted. He just never thought it would ever happen. He just treated it like a fantasy. Never to actually happen.

Tony’s breath caught as he listened. “I don’t know about breeding, my body’s kind of a mess...Morgan was a surprise.” But god he would give anything to carry Peter’s pups.

“But we could try!” Peter said excitedly. “Tony, I want to be with you so badly. No matter what. Being with you...is a dream come true. You’re the perfect omega for me.”

The omega wouldn’t lie, he was a bit stunned by the comment. He knew that he wasn’t perfect in any way. But it was nice to hear. Especially from the most perfect alpha he’d ever met. “Peter...you have to think about this. At least a little bit. I don’t want you to just jump into something and regret it.”

The alpha moved closer to him, so close that he could feel the omega’s quickened breath against his lips. “I’m thinking about it. But right now I’m just feeling...feel with me, Tony.”

The older man closed the small gap between them, pressing his lips to Peter’s. The kiss was gentle, innocent. Until Peter decided that he wanted something a little bit rougher. And Tony didn’t stop him.

The alpha deepened the kiss, tongue gently slipping between the other man’s lips.

Tony moaned softly, easily letting his lips part after feeling the other’s tongue.

Once he did, Peter easily slotted his lips with the omega’s and the kiss got just a little closer.

The alpha dropped one hand, setting it on the omega’s thigh shyly. “Is this okay?” He breathed after breaking the kiss.

“Yes, Peter. Anything is okay.”

“Anything?” He asked, eyes wide.

“Yes, anything. This is an invitation for you to fuck me.” He knew he was moving a bit fast, but it didn’t feel so fast with Peter. Maybe that was a good sign. Or maybe Tony was just close to a heat, who knew for sure.

The alpha’s breath audibly caught in his throat. “O-okay….”

Tony started laying back on the couch more, relaxing and allowing the alpha to settle between his legs.

Peter eagerly got on top of him more, hips shifting a little as he moved to kiss the omega again.

The older man had to bite back a laugh. He could feel the alpha already hard against him. Ah, being young. He moved his hips slightly, heat pulsing through him at the moan he got from Peter. He definitely needed to keep hearing that sound.

Peter kissed Tony again, a bit uncoordinated and rough compared to last time, but it was okay because his main focus was starting to undress the omega under him.

He broke the kiss after a moment, tugging at the older man’s top almost frantically.

Tony helpfully lifted his arms, allowing for Peter to get his shirt off completely.

He was still self conscious about all his scars. Especially the deep caving ones in his chest. But the shame dissolved slightly when he saw the look of awe on the alpha’s face. “What?”

“You just...you’re so beautiful...and strong….” Peter gently slid his hands over the now-exposed skin, thumbs gently brushing over hardening nipples and fingertips grazing over soft scar tissues.

The omega’s eyes slipped shut and his lips parted with a soft noise at the feeling of being touched. It had been a while. And his body said it had been something long waited for.

Peter liked the reaction and repeated his actions to see if he could repeat the sounds.

He could.

His hands slowly made their way down. Past round pecs and a soft belly. To the waistband of the other man’s sweatpants.

“Can I take these off?” He whispered shyly, fingers dipping below the elastic nervously.

“You’d better,” Tony murmured, slowly opening his eyes to watch.

Peter grinned and easily got the pants down, mildly disappointed when he found that the omega wasn’t hard. “Oh….”

Tony sighed softly, wiggling out of his boxers while the alpha was distracted. “It’s nothing against you, honey. You just need to put in the extra effort to get me going. Just a wonderful part of aging,” he mumbled, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Oh...okay...that makes sense,” Peter said softly, cheeks burning. He watched closely as Tony finished undressing himself and his cock was revealed.

Even soft, it was a bit larger than the typical omega. But still definitely smaller than an alpha. Maybe around five inches or so.

Peter gently wrapped his hand around the shaft, thumbing at the head as he started stroking. He got excited when he felt the cock begin to fill out more and get harder in his hand.

Tony moaned softly, hips moving with the movement of the alpha’s hand. “Yeah, there we go. See? I’m not completely broken,” he joked.

“Not broken at all, don’t say that,” Peter scolded gently, eyes never leaving the omega’s cock. He kept stroking until he was satisfied with how hard he was, grinning. “Did that feel okay?”

“Very,” the omega breathed, hips rolling a little once Peter stopped touching him.

The alpha smiled, pulling his own shirt off and slowly moving to unbutton his own jeans. “You’re sure you want to...do everything?”

Tony whined softly. “Yes, I’m sure. I wouldn’t be dripping wet and ruining this couch if I didn’t want this.”

“You’re wet?” Peter breathed, cock twitching at the thought.

The older man chuckled. “Yes, alpha. That’s what happens when an omega gets turned on. I thought you’d know this already,” he teased.

Peter laughed softly, covering his face. “Stop. I just- I can’t believe that I made you like that.”

“You want to feel?”

The alpha watched him, biting his lip as he nodded quickly. “Definitely. Please? Can I?”

Tony shifted his hips up, eyes dark as he watched the alpha. “Of course you can.”

Peter’s hands slid over the omega’s thighs gently, spreading his legs. One hand moved to the omega’s ass, fingers sliding over his tight hole.

Both parties moaned softly at the action.

“You’re really wet,” the alpha whispered. “Can I fuck you, omega? Please….”

Tony nodded, breathing harder. He hadn’t been fucked in a while. And he was excited. He could have finally found his life mate. “Come on, Pete. I’m waiting.” He grinned.

“Should I...should I get a condom or anything?”

The omega watched him. “I told you, it’s unlikely anything would happen. So it’s okay. It’ll feel better for both of us without.”

“Okay. Okay. That’s-“ Peter grinned. “Okay. That’s good.” He moved between the omega’s legs again, cock bumping against the soaking hole.

The tip easily sunk in, Tony already loose enough just from being so turned on. They both moaned, the omega clenching down around the bit of cock inside of him.

Peter slowly pushed in until he completely bottomed out, his body flush against Tony’s. He moaned softly, slowly grinding against the omega. “Fuck...you are so tight,” he murmured. “So wet...warm...so perfect, omega.”

“Thank you, alpha,” Tony purred, clenching down and grinning at the moan it pulled from the alpha. “Come on, no waiting. Go ahead and fuck me.”

The younger man nodded quickly, setting a slow, even pace as he started thrusting.

Tony relaxed, one hand moving to the small of Peter’s back before dropping to his ass. He gripped there gently, humming. “You’ve got a pretty tight ass too, baby,” he teased, pushing his hips forwards.

Peter let out a strained moan, trying to decide whether to push back into the omega’s touch or to thrust forward.

“Confused now?” The omega teased again. “Just fuck me. Want me to beg? Oh please, alpha, please fuck me and breed me,” he moaned.

The alpha growled softly, the sound pleased. “You don’t need to beg. But I like hearing you saying things like that….”

Tony chuckled, moving his hips a little. “Fuck me, alpha. Fill me up, knot me, baby. Want to bond me?” He groaned, shivering at his own words.

The pace that Peter had been keeping sped up considerably at the words and his hands moved to grip at Tony’s hips. “I’ll knot you, omega, promise.”

The omega moaned. Peter was eager and perfect and- a louder, surprised sound left him as he felt a hand wrapping around his cock.

“Want to make sure you cum too,” the alpha said shyly.

The way that he said it made Tony understand that he was definitely getting close. But his thoughtfulness made the omega not mind at all how short it had been. There would be other times.

He fucked his hips up into Peter’s hand, shivers wracking his body from the dual pleasure. “Alpha….”

Peter groaned, thrusts beginning to get uneven and erratic as he started getting closer to his end. The knot at the base of his cock began to grow, pulling at Tony’s rim with every thrust.

“Knot me, alpha,” Tony breathed. “I know you can do it. Claim me as yours, fill me up.”

The alpha moaned, hand faltering on the omega’s cock as his thrusts got faster.

It only took a few more moments before Peter gave his last thrust before his knot locked them together and he was spilling deep into the omega.

Tony came hard as he was knotted, clenching hard and muscles fluttering as he hit his high. “Oh, alpha...Peter,” he moaned, entire body shivering with every wave of his orgasm.

The alpha groaned, curling over the older man’s body more as they were locked together and he rode out his high. “Tony...that was...so amazing,” he murmured.

As they lay in the afterglow of their highs, soft purring drifted through the air. A quiet song of comfort.

Peter gently stroked over Tony’s hair, fingers playing with the soft graying strands.

“I really think I love you,” the omega whispered, like he was afraid to even admit it to himself.

Peter hummed softly, leaning in and kissing the older man. “Well, I know I love you. And there’s nowhere else I’d rather be than here.”

And so there they stayed, bodies continuing to be intertwined even long after they were able to physically separate. Neither of them were going anywhere.

Tony had saved the world and thought he lost everything.

But it turned out that he gained so much more.

[thors-soft-cheeks]

*hugs Thor just long enough*

*Thor loooooves* 

[funkylittlebidiot]

thor - do you ever write by hand? when and why?

captain america: the first avenger - what’s your fanfic reading pet peeve?

guardians of the galaxy - be honest. would you want someone from marvel to read your fics?

guardians of the galaxy vol.2 - create a playlist for one of your fics!

thor: ragnarok - is there a word or a phrase you find yourself using over and over again?

avengers: infinity war - do you have any fanfic recs?

ant-man and the wasp - what’s your favorite type of comment to recieve?

Thor: yes I used to 😂 back in high school when I used to write for the grey’s anatomy fandom I wrote during class a lot - I still have notebooks with entire fics in them

CATFA: it mostly depends on what I’m in the mood for but yeah paragraphs are important and I don’t like it when characters are too out of character. I’m fine with different interpretations - love them even - but sometimes you just feel that the character is just a self-projection from the author. There’s a specific style of writing to it idk. And I usually immediately exit the fic when I see “I”. I’m not doing anything, my favorite characters are, and i don’t want to experience it I want to watch it happen.

GOTG: I’m not praying for it. I don’t want or need it, but I also wouldn’t care if they did? I don’t make anything embarrassing I think, and the bad writing well... people at marvel don’t have the right to judge

GOTG2: this is literally my hobby but this is the one actually good one (also the one I made for Harley but that’s not public I believe)

Thor: ragnarok - all the time. I constantly have to bonk myself on the head because I’ve used the same sentence fragments from two sentences ago.

AIW: YES but I’m answering this in like at the bakers so I’ll just give you my bookmarks

AMATW: long once ranting about the stuff they liked

[acdhw]

I’m sure THOR takes place after their retirement. They are in their Sussex house, and that’s why Watson sees a tree in the backyard—there couldn’t have been a backyard in Baker Street. Watson as always is a late riser and he finds Holmes at the breakfast table. They have a new cook which means they had moved only recently. This exchange has such an old married vibe:

“You have a case, Holmes?” I remarked.

“The faculty of deduction is certainly contagious, Watson,” he answered.

...

“Your client?”

“Ah, I forgot I had not told you. I am getting into your involved habit, Watson, of telling a story backward.”

They’ve been together for so long that they rubbed off on each other. Mr. Gibson, being a man of wealth and power, most certainly got to Holmes using all his connections. Quite possible he arranged that meeting through Mycroft since Sherlock was officially retired and as a rule didn’t take cases anymore.

Now to the point where Holmes throws Gibson out:

“No man ever crossed me and was the better for it.”

“So many have said so, and yet here I am,” said Holmes, smiling.

Holmes said that previously almost verbatim in His Last Bow:

“If it takes me all my life I shall get level with you!”

“The old sweet song,” said Holmes. “How often have I heard it in days gone by. It was a favorite ditty of the late lamented Professor Moriarty. Colonel Sebastian Moran has also been known to warble it. And yet I live and keep bees upon the South Downs.”

And later, when Watson writes up the case, he places it in their pre-retirement era so that no one could make a connection with the occasion which in fact was quite recent.

[simsadventures]

Duties: Chapter 5: In the Dark

Medieval Alpha Thor x Medieval Omega Reader

Summary: There is only one thing left to do to protect Thor from your past. Run. And neither Tony nor Thor are too happy about your decision.

Warnings: fluff, angst

Word Count: 1710

A/N: Things are getting angsty you guys, hope you’re ready. If you like this story, please let me know. I know that not that many people are into it, but I hope those of you who read it at least enjoy it :) xx

Series Masterlist __ Masterlist

< Previous Chapter

Waking up the next morning, a warmth surrounded you. You knew that the warmth came from the sun shining outside of the castle’s walls, but you had the feeling as if it came from inside of you. Just from the warmth, your heart has been basking in ever since Thor said goodbye to you the night before. You stayed up talking for the better part of the night, sharing little information about each other, enjoying the other’s company.

Thor left with a huge smile on his face, and you loved how his cheeks reddened when you complimented him on something he wasn’t used to. Thor was a beautiful man, you were aware of that, and you were pretty sure he also knew about this quality. He was used to people complimenting him on his golden hair, on his strength, on his body, all of it. But when you told him you admired his intelligence, he couldn’t help himself but feel like a schoolgirl.

When you noticed this little trait of his, you tried to highlight the things you were sure some people didn’t care to see. His strength was admirable, sure, but it was the strength of character that you elevated when talking to him. However bad he thought himself as a prince, you assured him that he was still acting like the heir of Asgard’s throne, not giving his father the chance to doubt him. You were sure all kings when talking to Odin would tell him that Thor was the example of eloquence and royalty, that he wasn’t just the bratty child they expected.

It was thanks to encouragements like these Thor knew you would make the best of queens. Especially for him. He tended to be rash, sometimes, in his decision-making process, his hot head getting the best of him. But with you by his side, Thor knew you would tell him when he was being irrational, and also tell him when it was enough of the childishness.

Thor also knew that there wouldn’t ever be any other woman for him other than you. You were perfect in every possible way, from the way your giggles turned into adorable snorts when there was something you found especially funny, to the way you scrunched your nose when you were thinking, Thor couldn’t stop looking and smiling at you.

The whole day was perfect for both of you, and both you and Thor went to sleep feeling like you were on top of the world.

But when the morning glow diminished, and you suddenly realised that no matter how meant to be the two of you were, you couldn’t be with him. In your eyes, Thor deserved somebody better, or at the very least, somebody with a clean slate. Someone whom he could present as the rightful queen without feeling guilty or as if though he should be hiding something.

When you finally realised that you cared about him enough not to let him undergo all of this, you finally rolled out of bed and went straight to your little closet.

You needed to get out of there.

Clothes were sent flying through the room as you tried to pack as lightly as you could, only taking the utmost necessities and the things that were left to you by your mother, like the pendant she gifted you when you reached 18. It was one of the best days of your life, and one of the last good days you had with your parents. From that point onwards, everything went to hell, and eventually, your whole existence became your own personal hell.

Until you met Thor and you had the glimmer of hope that things could be better. But you knew that they couldn’t. That as long as there were parties still searching for you, trying to deliver your head to the king, you didn’t stand a chance for happiness. And only because your life was damned, you were willing to condemn Thor to the same fate.

With that thought you got up from the floor, scribbled a quick letter to the king, thanking him for all he’s done for you in the past few years, and set on the journey. And it would be a long one.

Thor woke up with a smile on his lips. He hasn’t felt this elated in a long time. Usually, he woke up hungover, with multiple women weaved into his own limbs, and he still felt empty and sad, trying to fill a hole he didn’t even know he had.

But with you in his life, he suddenly knew what he missed. The connection, however short it has been, was unconquerable for Thor. He saw a few women ever since he met you, smiling at him, obviously flirting him and if he were his old self, he was positive he would have enjoyed the company of at least two of those women.

But he didn’t need to anymore. He went to sleep alone and woke up the happiest man in the world. I all seven of them, he was sure of it.

Thor had time to spare because you told him that there was work to do in the morning to prepare baked goods for Tony’s lunch, and so he went and roamed the castle, his head high up in the skies, thinking of you. The way you smelled, the way your velvety skin felt against his finger, the way your lips would feel when he finally got enough courage to kiss you properly.

He didn’t even realise it, but while he roamed, Thor got to Tony’s quarters. He wouldn’t be so bold as to knock on anybody’s door, hasn’t it been his old friend. He waited a while before Tony smiled at Thor from the door.

“Your majesty, what can I do for you?” Tony mocked and stepped aside for Thor to come in.

Thor rolled his eyes at Tony and walked to the couch in the middle of the room, before he slumped down like a sack of potatoes, stretching his limbs, lazy smile on his face.

Tony eyed him up and down, smirking to himself.

“I assume you had a good night from the look on your face, huh? How many was it this time, two, three, ten?” Tony laughed at his friend, and Thor scoffed. He would’ve been offended if it hadn’t been true just a few weeks ago.

“No, my friend. I had nobody in my chambers for your information. But I spent the best of days with a beautiful girl, yesterday,” Thor said proudly, reminiscing about the way your hips swayed ever so little as you walked through the market yesterday.

“Oh, do tell! You know how hungry for gossip I am,” Tony sat down next to Thor, evidently eager for more information about Thor’s rendezvous.

“I found my true mate, pal! Would you believe it? And to think I wasted days roaming other kingdoms when I could’ve come straight here and been with her for all this time? Preposterous!”

Tony just gaped at Thor with his mouth open, before he recollected himself and patted Thor’s shoulder.

“Who is she? How did you find her? Is she some court lady? Somebody else altogether? When is the wedding?” Tony rambled on until Thor stopped him by bursting into laughter. But before he could say anything more, a servant almost ran into Tony’s chamber, and wasn’t it for the slightly alarmed look on his face, Tony would most probably pester him for coming in without as much as knocking.

“Your majesties, I’m awfully sorry for barging in so suddenly, but I was instructed that I should deliver this letter to you as soon as possible. I was told that it is the most pressing matter,” the servant breathed out.

“And who told you so?” Tony eyed him up and down before taking the letter from his hand.

“Your queen, my king. I was looking for you in the throne room but found only her, and as the letter was addressed to both of you, I thought I would give it to the queen, but upon reading she sent me rushing to you, my king,” the servant finished.

Tony scanned through the letter, and his stomach turned. Thor could see the change in Tony’s face, glancing back at the servant, trying to connect the dots, but there weren’t many.

“This can’t be true! Why would she do this! She is in such grave danger, and now she runs away from here? It doesn’t make any sense, whatsoever. Tell me, boy, when did you find this letter?” Tony barked, standing from the chair and pacing around the room.

“She didn’t come to the kitchen on the appointed time, and because she was always on time, Mr Thornes, the main baker, sent me looking for her. He was scared that something might have happened to her, but when I came to her chambers, all that was left was this letter,” the servant said obediently, trying not to be intimidated by Tony’s harsh looks.

“Somebody must stop her. I understand she says that this is her decision, but I’ve protected her long enough that she feels like a sister to me. I must find her and bring her here before anybody else does,” Tony snarled and tried to walk out of the room before Thor stopped him by laying his hand on Tony’s shoulder.

“What is going on, Tony? You look like the whole kingdom should fall tonight,” Thor said jokingly, but his face remained like a stone.

“It’s just a girl I’ve been protecting by hiding her here as one of the helping hands in the kitchen. She is now gone, and I worry about her safety,” Tony said, and for a second, Thor felt as if a cold breeze swooshed over him. It couldn’t be you, could it?

“And what is her name, if I may ask?” Thor almost whispered, fearing Tony’s answer.

“Well, I don’t know what good that information is to you, but if you must know, her name is Y/N.”

Thor’s world crumbled in that very moment. What felt like the best day in his whole life, suddenly turned out to be possibly the worst one.

/ Next Chapter >

Duties:

@kenzieam​ @the-soulofdevil​ @thelonglostavenger @beatrice-of-messina​ @mrsalwayswrite​ @rohaintahquil​ @youngdreamer3214​ @the-walking-daryl​ @jaxyboy246​ @ba-arish​ @champagnesugamama​ @bullshitantichrist​ @thedaniroguefan​ @stressedandbandobessed7771​ @anxious-trashpanda​ @noobmaster696969 @centerhabit​ @rinkashirikitateku​ @booksbeforebois​ @qween-of-trash​ @absolutelynotanidiot​

Marvel Taglist

@voltage-my2dlove​ @kneel-begyourpardon​ @lumar014​ @ptrs-prkrs​

Thor Taglist

@owlyannah​

Forever Tag:

@eileenalone​ @sasbb23​ @p8tn0lish​ @coffeebooksandfandom​ @waiting4inspiration​ @caswinchester2000​ @mogaruke​ @justthatfangirloverthere​ @mushyjellybeans​ @livsheph​ @sebbbystaaan​ @notyourtypicalrose​ @itsunclebucky​ @rinkashirikitateku​ @leosandbuckysgirl​ @miraclesoflove​ @keithseabrook27​ @official-and-unstable-satan​