#badly. and she doesnt understand why arlene couldntve just been HER mom instead of bams because he doesnt deserve it like he never even knew
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thinking about rachel…
#man like its all been about arlene with her huh. like she hates bam for being arlenes son even though he never knew her#and she hates him for being an irregular and getting the thorn bc she sees them as signs of arlenes love and she wanted it to be her so so#badly. and she doesnt understand why arlene couldntve just been HER mom instead of bams because he doesnt deserve it like he never even knew#her he never did anything to deserve her love but he has it and arlenes dead and she hasnt got any more love to give and rachel wanted to be#loved by her so badly and the only way she sees to get arlenes love is to steal it. to take everything from bam.#and i dont think she resented him that badly in the cave. like it was still there for sure bc he was still arlenes son but she didnt HATE#him for it. not like she does now. because she still thought it could be her. that she was arlenes chosen. and then he became an irregular#to follow her when she wanted so desperately to get away from him bc he was a reminder that shed never be first in arlenes heart and so she#killed him. and everyone seemed to hate her for it but it was just the way of things right? everyone in the tower is cruel so if shes cruel#too who cares? but bams friends care because bam always chose love over resentment and he still loved her when she left him just like she#still loved arlene and she hated him for that too. for daring to be anything like her.#didnt mean to write an essay whoops#mine#tog
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